#HIS BODY IS PHYSICALLY REACTING TO HIM MAKING THIS DECISION IM JUST | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sai-lec · 2 months

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People are platforming sainz way too much when he’s the worse driver in ferrari just because he had his appendix removed like that makes him the most amazing driver ever he really shouldn’t have gotten driver of the day nevermind a win when Charles did so much more and gave him the position

the way im just trying to enjoy my enchiladas oh my god anyway i wasn’t gonna answer just straight up carlos hate asks bc it’s pointless yet here i am

i just find it really interesting that people act like liking carlos = hating charles and vice versa bc that’s the common thread ive been seeing across what people have been saying in my inbox and also in reblogs etc etc . it’s always utilising charles to degrade carlos and specifically his driving performances which in all honesty is very disrespectful to the team as a whole

but the reason that carlos has been getting so much media attention is because there are huge circumstances around him this season . he entered the season not having a seat for next year; people were curious- how would he react? how was he going to prove himself as deserving of a competitive seat for 2025? was the decision going to impact his relationship with the team etc etc etc . there was a lot of questions around him going into the season . especially after the shitshow of the last few races of the 2023 season between his vegas penalty and the god awful tyre strategy they had him on that ruined his race in abu dhabi.

bahrain peaked people’s interest in him- between the ‘im faster’ and team fighting on track (might i add is what you all wanted to see charles do in australia because the team orders were holding him back but got really pissed off that carlos had the gall to fight in bahrain when charles’ pace was thrown off by his breaking issues) . seeing carlos come into the season with so much uncertainty surrounding him and his performance and seeping him qualify second row abd taking a podium on the first race of the season generated more excitement. he was showing the beginnings of a promising final season with ferrari which is a pretty big deal . so of course there is going to be a huge media buzz around him . everyone expects the red bulls to do well it’s not breaking news when max verstappen wins but a driver with nothing to lose driving like he has nothing to lose is an interesting story . it’s journalism girl.

regarding the appendix, again this just adds to the excitement about him . it’s all narrative . like obviously people were shocked when he was diagnosed with appendicitis and it invited jokes about alex albon and his appendicitis which spurred on the media attention . and showing up to watch the race 24 hrs after his surgery of course nobody expected that because he was literally there against doctors orders- which yet again is going to garner a lot of buzz that he is dedicated enough to the team to show up so quickly after surgery .

when it comes to him racing post appendectomy again it’s so obvious that this is something that the media will want to pick up ‘f1 driver takes first non-redbull win in 10 races 2 weeks after surgery’ is a great base headline . that’s journalism baby . but it got people talking because in all honesty he really shouldn’t have been in that car it’s clear that he’s still pretty in pain and people were curious - how will he perform? will he even make it through practise? is he recovered enough to drive? will he have to stop mid race? have they made accommodations to his car to take pressure off his wounds? like you have to remember the toll these cars have on the body of the driver especially across the core. it’s incredibly impressive for someone to get in the car in the process of recovering front any surgery. and for carlos to be still in the late stage of recovery and to pull such impressive results in qualifying and the race is impressive . objectively he had physical hinderance and raced extremely well in spite of it . people are going to talk about it because it is pretty impressive.

as for carlos winning driver of the day again people are just excited . voted him driver of the day in bahrain for his sheer fucking audacity and pulling the first podium of the season which got peoples hopes up for ferraris performance for the rest of the season . he got driver of the day in bahrain because people were extremely impressed with how he raced given his physical circumstances . yes i think charles was also a contender for driver of the day because he also had a great race with the ferrari 1-2 and his defending against the mclarens but driver of the day is a fan vote and people will be voting for what generated the most excitement for them thing the race .

i also wouldn’t say charles GAVE him the position- he already had it . what you’re looking o say is that you’re disappointed charles didn’t have the opportunity to fight for the win. which yeah i get it i would also like to see a charles win this season and some more fighting on the track . but what we need to understand is that this point in time where charles was a few seconds behind carlos the priority was to defend against lando who was showing really good pace at which point charles has to decide if it’s worth trying to close the gap of around 5 seconds or defend against lando who was 2-3 seconds behind him . and obviously at the end he couldn’t increase his speed under the vsc . it’s just racing circumstances .

anyway my point is . is it really that deep in the end . yes carlos is getting a lot of attention right now but it’s just because there’s literally so much going on around him between his career uncertainty illness surgery and stellar performance in the early season . there is no plot against charles or whatever u think is happening and i’m willing to place my life savings that if another driver went under for surgery and pulled those results there wouldn’t be half the backlash as we r seeing . this is just how media works . people are interested in him right now . it’ll pass . we are only 3 races into the season . chill .

#formula 1 #carlos sainz

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doppel-doodles · 3 months

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WOE,LAMBS BE UPON YE

Recently got into the silly little game with the lamb and decided to make a little Au around it with my oc's for the fun of it, so here are my characters Ming and Baí that I finished some art for!

Im not really done with the game so the lore is probably not that accurate but since this is an Au im not really trying to be, pretty much just trying to have fun here and see what bits and pieces of my own lore I can keep,change or mix with the games.

Anyway the gist of what I have so far is that the two of them run a cult together, obviously only one has the red crown though and technically neither of them are a vessel of the one who waits but still share a connection with him of sorts in some way. All of this takes place pre the events of the game so their cult is destined to fall apart but we aren't there just yet:>

Baí, The false idol

Younger one of the brothers, bearer of the red crown and the founder of the cult started in the name of the one who waits. He is a young lamb of few words often remaining so still at times that he could be mistaken as a statue giving him an air of eeriness as he stares with that haunting smile of his that doesn't quite reach his eyes into the beyond. That smile makes him hard to read, remaining unchanging no matter the circumstances, his body language is controlled not giving anything away either, even the tone of his voice remains the same, soft spoken and weirdly soothing to listen to. You can never tell what is going through his head.

A menace on the battlefield, blessed since birth with enough raw physical strength to desecrate groups of heretics with little struggle his wrath is something to be feared. Luckily it isn't easily provoked, he has incredible patience and remains poised, moving with effortless grace even while in battle as if locked in a dance. He has a flair for the dramatics as he carries himself with a level of elegance akin to royalty and he seems to enjoy putting on shows.

When not on crusades his followers will see him regularly during sermons or doctrines but even then he rarely speaks, to them he has an air of mystery that intrigues you to come closer yet frightens you away at the same time. Those who do approach are treated to the rare sight of him blundering, struggling with socialising and often just retreating back to his tent as a result.

Ming, The shepherd

With his short stature and youthful disposition it is hard to believe that he is the older brother, Baí's complete opposite Ming is boisterous,extroverted and so high energy to the point he can barely sit still, patience is a virtue he has trouble with that is clear as day, while he has a brave heart, showing fear to none that burning spirit can cause impulsive mayhaps even reckless decisions from his side. With big eyes that react empathetically to those around him he wears his heart on his sleeve, you never second guess how he feels. In turn he can read others like a book, figuring out their thoughts and true feelings, their wishes and desires from the smallest of words and gestures but he doesn't even need to, with someone as friendly as he you'll gladly lay your chest bare to him no?

Where his brother is the brawns, Ming is the brains. He has a curiosity for all things around him, an insatiable hunger for knowledge and a burning determination to understand. His specialty in medicine is probably because the lamb is quite sickly and frail, every day he might collapse and lay at deaths door, yet he'll knock against it utterly unafraid instead he looks to be fascinated by death instead having so many questions about it that he asks with a grin.

The caretaker of all their followers, he stays behind to actually run the cult. He is a well respected as a leader and simply adored by their followers, they listen to him with bated breath when he preaches and know that they can seek him out for anything, given how fast he is he might even be at it before they even say a word! His kindness shouldn't be taken as weakness. He is shrewd, he is perceptive and while he might act like a harmless fool to entertain taking him as actually being one will be your biggest and last mistake.

#ocs #gāuguí ming #gāuguí baí #cotl #cotl oc #cotl au #cult of the lamb #cult of the lamb au #cult of the lamb oc #doppel draws #doppel rambles #fallen crown au

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boycigs · 1 year

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IM ON MY WAY !

bibi's note; intoxication, rushed growing up, making out. yes, bibi just got matcha and is making a coffee. this reminds me of breakfast at tiffany's,,,

"don't wanna leave.." the blonde beauty muttered, pupils wide, her eyes glazed over and tired. a sigh left bibiyana's fatigued body, her black acrylic's gripped harder into his shirt and back.

she drags the joint to her plump lips to take a hit, soon passing it to her lover as he sucked in, inhaling the smoke.

"...i gotta go see blitzo, i practically spent the whole day with you omi. not that 'm complainin' though..." she trailed off while his rough hands hooked under her top and rubbed her sides. a feeble attempt to calm her down, but with no prevail she was still visibly upset.

she leaned back, loosening her embrace as her smaller fists pounded lightly on his chest. he laughed at her pout. "why. aren't. you. helping. me. decide ?"

takeomi grabbed her hands, as he exhaled. staring into her warm brown eyes. "doll, ya gotta decide for yourself, make decisions, etcetera etcetera."

she let his words in, let them melt and make an inprint into her mind. why ? why should she have to make a decision ? she's been making decisions for herself since she could speak. thinking about what was in her best interest, and if it wasn't, well. that's something to learn from, albeit the hard way.

"don't wanna omi," at this point her words were slurring together as she spoke. "can't ya' do it f'me ? can't'cha make my decisions."

alas, making her decisions for her would strip her of her personality, one of the best things he liked about her.

takeomi thought about it. she did make comments about it with him: having to grow up to fast, she made remarks like she has a sibling but never delved further than a mention of him.

"well" he paused, letting his words reach her and catch her attention before continuing. "I can call the kid, let him know you're here."

he posed the favor, his eyes roaming over her to see any reaction. "..." she opened her mouth, full sentences coming to mind but not being spoken she chooses to write the words in his skin. 'sure'

she gave him a goofy smile, letting her heavy lids fall after handing her phone to him.

Lets go back, 13 hours should be enough.

10am.

'maybe it's burnout ?' she questioned herself as currently she couldn't get up. she had no strength or energy to force herself to get up mentally in addition to physically.

but, she had to do something, she called the first person to come to mind. she remembered his words. "hey, love" he started before leaving a few gentle bites on her shoulder, pleased that she felt relaxed in his hold. "if you need me I'm only a call away, alright ?"

takeomi akashi, a man she had gotten to know quite well as of recent.

[Now Calling: takeomi <3 ]

she called out softly, thereafter hearing the phone pickup. "hii, takeomi !"

"hm ? oh g'mornin' doll" his morning voice slightly raspy, though she could hear papers being shuffeled and several men arguing in the background, worrying her.

"omi, am i interrupting something ?"

"no, yer not. how'd you come to that idea love ?" his abundance of petnames messing with her more then she'd like.

she spoke of the yelling she could hear from his call and he just told it off as noisy coworkers. including his brother.

"oh, anyway omi," she struggled forcing the words out of her mouth. giving help to others was like her autopilot function. why was this. so. goddamn diffucult ?

"c.. could you, mm, would you come over and help me ?" now, with that kind of question akashi had no idea what to expect. she asked for help but for what ?

"hold for a second bibi." her chest fluttered with the most delusional idea, that he's already making way to her place.

"hey, mikey !" he slipped back into the meeting room, covering his phone. nobody reacting to his presence, just as if he never left.

"yes ?" the bonten leader answered right back with his dead, uninterested stare.

"may I take the rest of day off ?" he asked, for once in a millenia.

"sure, g'bye," and he was sent off without a second thought, although there was a new one. 'maybe I can go get a coffee f'her ?'

"omi ? what's up ? the noise died down." her warm sweet voice always made him feel loved no matter what she said. except for the time she yelled, pushing him outta the kitchen when they tried to cook together. 'VEN IZ MOJE KUHINJE, SEM GA !!!'

he internally laughed remembering the accent she pulled out when she spoke, in her mother tongue too. translating to 'get out of my kitchen, I got it !!!' although they were in his apartment the whole time. "hey darling. do you want some coffee ? I'm nearing your fave café and I could stop in."

que high-school girl squeals. "I'll take that as a yes, darling. I'll be there soon. bye, mwah."

a matcha, pastry and denied phone number later, akashi was at his lovers apartment. 'bzzt, bzzt'

"comin,," bibi yelled trudging her feet across the floor in her saggy white socks, "thanks omi." embracing him in a lousy hug upon opening the door.

"don't worry about it pretty," as he left a delicate kiss on the crown of her head, he continued trying not to step on her cat. "have you eaten anything ?"

"substantial ? nope !" she took a bite of her pastry, letting the powdered sugar fall to the ground.

"hmm, fine I'll cook for you then, let's see." takeomi tests the waters as he moves around her kitchen. unapproved of her almost empty fridge containing coffee beans, butter, a jar of jam, cream and one (1) takeout container.

"love, I know you can cook, what's... this ?" she looks up from the couch, and replies with no thought.

"I need groceries. have no energy to do so, but I gotta get 'em, promised tora I'd cook him today, help me up ?"

he sighed, but came over and grabbed her forearm to pull her up. "I'm gonna make my coffee, would you mind choosin' my outfit ?"

he caught her eyes, giving her an incredulous 'for real' stare. "yeah go ahead, I trust you." she went back to putting the grinded beans into her moka pot.

'oh well' takeomi thought, wandering to her bedroom. after looking through her wardrobe he pulled out: a pair of low rise cargos, a camisol and a light hoodie along with some accessories.

step step step step step ste-

"omi !!! my coffee's done, let's see what you pulled ou- ooooh !!! cute !" bibyana fawned over the outfit he put together as he backed up. "thanks~ I'll be ready soon. you can fix a coffee if you'd like !"

and so he did, being fed up with whatever bonten nonsense he had to deal with periodically. he sat at her tiny, seeminly second hand, kitchen table. opening the window to light a smoke. 'wow, does this look familiar..'

bibyana mused at his mug as she came back in the room. "black coffee ?" he let out a short chuckle at her question. "yep, have you ever had it ?"

he glanced up, his train of thought dissapearing as he saw her. "lovely, let's get going shall we ?" he snuffed out his cigarette and set his mostly empty mug in the sink.

"grocery shopping !!! but bye toasty" she whispered to the cat stretching over the ottoman near the balcony. soaking upthe sun "thanks for coming, takeomi. not sure what happened but I feel a bit better already."

takeomi caught her gaze, sincerity filling his being. "don't worry about it," he took her hand, leaving a soft kiss before moving to her face, a smooch on her forehead, one on her nose and lastly her lips. just raw passion being expressed.

"whenever you call, I'm on my way to you love."

#★ bibi × takeomi

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txicgf · 2 years

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i think it's funny that i get a little sleep deprived and i immediately start spam posting on Tumblr about wanting to kill myself and having a little cry in this boys bed

i am simply a dramatic little man who really cannot handle being a little sleepy i get so upset i feel like a toddler having a tantrum where i just have to offer different solutions to issues and see how the pissed off baby living in the hot ball of lead in my gut reacts for all of my decision making

i wanna stop being on my phone and stop spamming right now but every time i put my phone down i start getting overwhelmed again cries

i want to cuddle with boy but the minute he touches me in his sleep rn it feels like l o t i o n and bad textures but i really wanna have physical contact with him cuz im being stressed and bleh but also he's asleep lol and also when he touches me my whole body seems to reject it rn i wanna move my knee so bad he's using it as a pillow but i don't wanna wake him up and i don't wanna not have physical contact cuz it's also calming kind of just aaaaa fuck i hate overstimulation so much

#vent

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luvelyhs · 3 years

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one last time part 2

IM BACK! thought i’d celebrate with finally uploading one last time part 2! also..i physically couldn’t write this without putting some angst in there i apologize but there is a happy ending because it’s what y/n DESERVES!

you can read ONE LAST TIME PART ONE here!

Warnings: lack of communication lol, angst, smut, happy ending

~~~~~~~~~~

They hadn’t woken up with Harry still in bed in a long time, Y/N had missed it. A lot.

His head lay on the pillow, face smushed into it. His eyes were closed and he was snoring softly. Y/N couldn’t help but smile, she loved him.

But if they were gonna be distant with each other, what was the point of marriage? It was a heartbreaking thought that their love wasn’t strong enough to withstand not even two years before it was over.

She carefully lifted her hand, tracing her fingertips over his forehead, down the side of his face, and lightly running her fingers over his pouty lips. He twitched a little and it made her heart jump. She didn’t want him to wake up yet, didn’t want him to realize what was happening and then leave. No, she wanted him here, right here. For as long as she could have him. Because right now, he was still her husband. He was still the husband that loved her and wanted to spend time with her. Not the husband who didn’t really act like one anymore, the one always avoiding her at all costs. And it hurt, it hurt like a bitch to think that the man who she loved with her entire mind body and soul might not even love her anymore.

She admired him, she didn’t know for how long. All she knew was that the sky was dark when she woke, to it now shining bright in the sky, the birds outside chirping noisily into the air.

It started with his eye twitching, his breathing changed, his eyes peeked open, then closing again once the light hit them. He groaned out, raising his arm to cover his eyes.

Y/N couldn’t stop watching him, she should feel like a creep but this was her husband. For now, at least. The thought made her frown.

He recovered, uncovering his eyes and peering at her. She watched as his eyes widened a bit at the sight of her, and her heart broke a little.

“Shit, what time is it?” Y/N gulped and looked at her bedside table to where the alarm clock is, reading 9:53 am and reciting it back to him.

“Fuck, I was s’posed to be at the studio at 9. Jeff’s gonna kill me.” Y/N stayed silent as he quickly got off the bed, running to their shared closet and changing quickly, then running to their bathroom and closing it.

Y/N didn’t even notice the tear slipping down her face until it landed on her lips. She quickly wiped it and decided to get up as well, making their bed where they had made love for the last time last night.

She had to call up a divorce lawyer, schedule a meeting. File for a divorce, draft up the divorce papers. Gather herself and her emotions. Text her best friend for emotional support. This was all a new experience for her, and she was scared as hell. The last thing she wanted to do was end their marriage, but if he wasn’t happy, then she wasn’t happy either.

The bathroom door opened and he was looking around the room for something.

“Y/N have you seen my keys?”

“Have you checked the pants you were wearing yesterday?” She remembered unbuttoning those pants, pulling them down and having her way with him. This was getting too much for her.

“Ah, thanks, love.” Y/N sighed, placing the throw pillows in the right places and checking her phone for messages.

“I’ll be at the studio late tonight. Don’t wait up.” And then he was off, like yesterday never happened. And when she heard the front door slam shut she let the tears loose. She sobbed and sobbed into the throw pillow she just placed down, crying hard at the thought of losing him.

Still crying, she called her best friend to come over. Her best friend was shocked and scared that she was full on sobbing at 10 am, but she was too worried to question her. She raced to Y/N’s and Harry’s home, using her spare key to get in. Her heart broke at the mess Y/N was in. She knew about her and Harry’s distance but it never got this bad for Y/N.

“Can you find me a divorce lawyer?”

~~~

Vera Thomson was a top notch divorce attorney. Y/N’s best friend knew of her from her sister who had divorced her ex husband, and Vera made the process super easy for her.

Y/N tried to compose herself when her best friend was on the phone with Vera, but she broke again when she heard that she was free at 1 pm to discuss the details. Y/N didn’t want to meet up with her this soon, she didn’t want her marriage to end with the love of her life this soon. She kind of hoped for a delay in it, that it wouldn’t be this fucking easy.

“I-I can’t do this!” Her best friend sighed and wrapped her arms around Y/N, rubbing her hand up and down her back.

Between Y/N’s loud cries and the shushes from her best friend, they both didn’t hear the front door opening and closing. They also didn’t hear the footsteps climbing up the stairs and stopping outside their bedroom door.

“P-please, this can’t just be it!”

“Shh, Y/N, it’s alright. It will be okay. I’m here for you, we’re all here for you.”

Outside their open bedroom door, Harry stood in utter confusion at hearing Y/N’s cries. He wanted to go in but somewhere in his mind he knew he was a reason for her tears. It broke Harry apart each heart wrenching sob she let out. He wanted to go in and comfort his love, but for some reason he couldn’t move his feet.

When Y/N composed herself to utter a few sentences, Harry’s entire world stopped. He almost fell to his knees at her words.

“Do you really think divorce is the best option? S-should I at least wait a few more days until meeting with her? Or, or should I just get it over with today? How long does divorce papers take to draft? I’m so scared, I don’t wanna do it.”

She wanted a divorce? She was meeting with a divorce lawyer to draft the papers? He didn’t want what he was hearing to be true, they were okay.. Weren’t they? Yeah, he’s been super busy writing his next album, but she had to know she was the most important thing to him, right? He loved her with all of his heart, he never wanted her to feel like this, to the point of heartbreak and tears. He vowed to always make her feel special, and to always be there for her and to always spend time with her. Was he really the one making her feel like this?

Sure, he’d been coming home later than usual, spending long hours everywhere he got an ounce of inspiration for a new song. He’d be at the studio perfecting one song, then starting the next. But he didn’t know she felt this way. Was she that unhappy?

Holy fuck- he suddenly remembered her words from yesterday. “One last time, H. Please.”

“She’s a popular attorney, Y/N. I don’t know when the next meeting will be, you’re lucky she had room for you today.”

Y/N scoffed. She was lucky? She didn’t think she was lucky that she was getting divorced to her husband.

“Sorry, bad choice of words. Look, if you’re having second thoughts, I can cancel for you. Take all the time you need, you don’t have to rush, Y/N. This is a big decision, and maybe you should talk to him first? Maybe this doesn’t have to be an option? Maybe marriage counseling..?”

“No..” Y/N shook her head in disagreement.

“Marriages shouldn’t need counseling. If we were meant to last together, we don’t need counseling to dig into why we are unhappy in this marriage. Besides, this is for him. He’s the one unhappy, and if he’s unhappy, I am.”

Harry couldn’t take it anymore. He entered the room, both Y/N and her best friends heads looking up and eyes wide and frozen at the sight of him.

“What are you talking about, Y/N? You think I’m unhappy in this marriage?”

“Harry-“ Y/N started cautiously, not knowing how much he heard but he would of had to hear her last sentences if he was reacting like this.

“No, Y/N! I love you so fucking much, and to think I was ever unhappy in this relationship is utter bullshit.”

He was so worked up, so emotional, he was pacing the room trying to form words to explain his thoughts. His thoughts that were running wild, he was scared. He was scared that he would lose her, lose his precious Y/N. His darling who meant the whole universe and more to him.

He was mad also. Mad that she ever thought he was unhappy. Mad at himself for making her think he was unhappy. Mad at the both of them for not communicating their feelings properly. Mad that she would’ve given up this easily.

“H.. please. We both know you’re unhappy in this marriage. Is this not what you want?” Y/N saw the tears running down his face and she blanched, feeling awful for making him cry. She honestly thought she was doing the right thing, but maybe it was the fear. The fear that he no longer wanted her, that he had the ability to find prettier women. She was insecure, but fuck how can she not be? Her conflicting emotions must’ve shown in her face before her best friend rubbed her back and told her she was going to go.

Y/N nodded absentmindedly while staring at Harry. She made the decision to carefully approach him, what she wasn’t expecting was for him to fall to his knees before her.

“Don’t leave me, baby, please don’t leave me.” He cried out, Y/N’s heart wrenching in pain at the sight.

“I’m not, H. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She fell to her knees with him, hugging his body close to her, so tight but she didn’t care. She sighed in relief.

He pulled back. “I- I remember you saying ‘one last time’ last night.. I thought nothing of it, but you were planning to leave me last night?” Y/N felt she was on an emotional roller coaster. She realized how wrong she had been in not communicating with him before taking a big step, calling a divorce lawyer. She should have talked to him about her feelings. Communication is key. They both knew that, so why had they both been quiet?

“I never want you to leave me, baby, never. You’re my heart, my soul, my everything. W-were supposed to start a family, grow old together, baby, tell me why you wanted to divorce me? Please?” They were both full on sobbing at this point. Y/N paused for a few seconds to think of her words.

“I never want to leave you, never want you to go either. We’ll be okay, H, okay?” Y/N cradled his face with her hands and traced his cheekbone, pressing warm kisses all around his face, and wiped away his tears.

“I’m sorry for assuming, I was just scared it was true, that you didn’t want me anymore.” She whispered. Harry’s face showed love and compassion as he kissed her lips, shoving into it warmth and passion and love and care.

“I need you, baby.” Harry murmurs against her lips, the kiss soon turning passionate and taking them to another level.

“Mmm, then have me.” Sexual intimacy was a big part of one’s relationship, and thank God their’s was out of this world. He worshipped her body and in return she worshipped his, they knew each other’s likes and dislikes and was not afraid to push one’s boundaries a little bit further. They were comfortable with each other, but in a good way that there were still more things to learn.

Her words ignited a spark in him—show her she’s the only one for you, show her you’ll never leave her— and that’s what he intended to do. Harry slowly brought them up, gripping her waist and pulled her up, bringing her body to the bed and depositing her there.

Eyes alight with excitement and lust, he prowled toward her.

“I can’t take it slow baby.” Harry heard her words but didn’t pay them no mind. He wanted to bring her to new heights that she hadn’t felt before with him.

Y/N tried to undress him but he pushed his hoodie back down and pinned her wrists to the bed. “Lay back and relax, baby, this is all about you.” Y/N gulped at the fire in his eyes and nodded, laying back and letting him take over.

He traced her body with his hands, not letting a single surface go untouched, he pulled her sleep shirt off, marveling at the sight of her perky breasts and hard nipples. She gasped when he blew hot air onto her left one, not touching it. He did the same to her right.

“No teasing me, H.” He again didn’t reply but finally wrapped his lips around her nipple, she moaned and gripped his hair, bringing him closer to her. He switched to the other and swirled his tongue over it, sucking and playfully biting.

He pressed a trail of kisses down her body, stopping at the waistband of her pajama pants.

“Even in just nighties, you look divine.” Y/N blushed at his compliment and bashfully looked away.

The tug on her waistband prompted her to lift up her hips, Harry pulling them down and then she was just in her underwear.

He blew out a breath and bit his lip.

“God, I fucking love you.” She mumbled the words back and he looked up into her eyes and smiled. “I’m sorry for making you feel like you were second choice. You’ll always come first, always. Please talk to me if you ever have doubts.” She nodded sniffling as she felt tears well up in her eyes again.

“Promise.” Y/N whispered, and he grinned, wiping a tear away and then started kissing around her thighs, sucking on the skin.

After what seemed like forever, he pulled her underwear off, immediately licking up a stripe up her vagina.

“Oh!” She sat up, gripping his head as he swirled his tongue over her clit and devoured her like no tomorrow.

“Ah! Ah, shit, Harry!” She yelled out, lost in the invigorating pleasure he brought upon her body.

He got up, withdrawing from her body. She started to protest but he laid down beside her on their big bed.

“Sit on my face.” Wasting no time, she came over on top of him and slowly sat, feeling his tongue enter her in and out and all around. He sucked and nipped and kissed, she saw stars.

He knew her body so well, but no matter how many times she’s come on his face, he made her feel so special.

“So fucking wet, come all over my face baby.” He said into his pussy, and she gripped the bed sheets as she came, riding out her high and smashing his face in between her legs.

She gasped, nothing really coming out except a squeak. Her ears felt numb and as she was coming down from her high, she looked down.

The bed sheets were wet around his face and she sat up a bit, seeing how his face was dripping with liquid.

She gasped again in disbelief. “No!” Harry laughed brightly, excited about what just happened.

“Yes!” She had squirted all over him but she didn’t feel the least bit embarrassed.

“You did so good for me, lovie.”

“Can I undress you now?”

“You can do whatever you want, I’m yours to do as you please.” She loved to hear those words coming out of his mouth. She quickly tugged off his work Columbia hoodie, tugging up his shirt in the process, then taking off his white pants and socks, leaving him in his boxers.

His length was fully hard underneath the fabric, so large and she wanted him so bad. Last night felt like forever ago even though it was only hours ago.

“I love your dick, baby.” Y/N said, bringing his hand into his underwear and wrapping a warm fist around his hardness.

He jolted at the contact and moaned at the squeeze of her palm.

She tugged off his boxers to his knees, not having the patience to give him a handie or blowie, she needed him in her now.

She positioned herself above him and made eye contact with him while slowly sinking down onto him. They both moaned at the feeling. It was different than last night. It had a different vibe, it was off, but right now they were better, and it felt so good.

She bounced on him, watching his face until her eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. He brought her down to hold her as he took control for a minute and fucked up into her. She took it, a loud moaning mess above her husband.

“Fuck, you feel so damn good, mmm...” He gave her ass a firm slap, rubbing it after to soothe. She squeezed around him at the feeling, and it prompted Harry’s release.

“Shit— baby, I’m coming.” She flipped them around, knowing he likes it best when he is fucking into her and taking control when he comes. He pistons his hips a few times and then brings his thumb to his mouth quickly, wetting it with his saliva then bringing it down to her mound, rubbing it in circles. That brought her up and over the edge and she screamed and they moaned and came together.

He stays within her a few minutes. Watching her relaxed face. They caught their breaths, and finally pulled out, watching the cum drip from her gorgeous pussy.

“Baby Styles?” He grins down at her, coming to lay beside her and pulled her in so close they could hear the other’s heart beat.

She shrugs in his warm grasp, enjoying the idea of starting their family.

“Maybe..”

“I love you.” He whispered, pressing a kiss into her hair. She sighed happily, in her post orgasmic bliss, but also because of the man laying beside her, her husband.

“I love you..” They laid together, enjoying themselves in each other’s presence.

It wasn’t one last time, after all.

THE END.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction

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sincerelytomydearest · 3 years

Text

April Showers Bring May Flowers

Hi hi! This is my piece for Mystic Messenger Reverse BigBang (@mysme-rbb), and also my first piece! This is also on AO3 here. This piece is paired with the wonderful artist Saia (@saiare._) on instagram!

Words: 1553

Warnings: N/A

Synopsis: Saeran and MC are hit with rain.

Saeran X MC

The cool scent of petrichor and mellow rain had made Saeran uneasy. Ray had always attributed such specific weather conditions to unforgiving pouring outside of their childhood home. Conditions which barred them from escaping, leaving the twins alone with their sole caregiver. Ray seemed to house those memories close. Saeran on the other hand had always felt that the rain was somewhat of a catharsis. He’d remembered dumb idioms V had told him, phrases he’d learned to grasp onto. Sayings such as “You can’t have a rainbow without a little rain,” and their like. Ray hung onto quotes during his time in Magenta. Drinking down the translucent, turquoise concoction of elixir, smelling the copious amounts of medication and hoping his rainbow would come soon after. Saeran tasted bittersweet, Linking Rika to the rain, and MC as the rainbow. But this time around, it was difficult to see the distinguishing features of each contradicting party.

What’s taking so long?, thought Saeran. MC had remained in the confines of the locked bathroom for all too long. In an effort to not hide anything from them, MC told Saeran she was late. And now they were here, her locked in the bathroom with a pregnancy test, and him, waiting (im) patiently for MC to give him the news.

The pair weren’t at all trying, if anything they were preventing. All four of them collectively agreed that they just weren’t ready for an addition in the family. And MC seemed to understand, knowing full and well Saeran had just narrowly escaped Mint Eye, that Saeyoung was still missing in action, and that lots of healing was to come before any sudden decisions. But Saeran knew well that they could only be so careful, tiptoeing between the lines. Saeran could only guess how Suit (as he’d come to refer to him) and Ray would react, he feared that he’d have to see them in their full glory. His fears were yet to come true.

A small rattle of the doorknob caught Saeran’s attention, silver twisting against the door. MC peeked her head out with a skittish smile gracing her porcelain face, Saeran couldn’t help but smile back. Her infectious smile never failed to adorn her lover’s lips too, he was utterly grateful for her optimism in the worst scenarios. Noticing the pink and white test in her hands, he stepped forward, a look of worry painted on his face. MC opened her palms to Saeran, showing the two pink lines. They were expecting.

…

Suit couldn’t help but react. Why? Just when things were getting good for us. His hands flew to MC’s sides, pushing her up against the wall. It hurts. Suit pressed his fingers into MC’s shoulders, nails digging into her frame.

“Sae!” MC exclaimed, unknowing of the sudden change. Warm tears began welling in his eyes, his head pounding as his body reacted on it’s own. You’re strong. We’re strong.

“Fuck MC.. I-I..God,” he managed to putter out.

Despite the display, his hands shook, arms coming to wrap around the frightened girl’s figure. MC traced her slender fingers along his own form, holding onto the alabaster fabric that scrunched at her fingertips.

“We’re going to be okay Saeran..” her words trailed as she shushed him quietly.

“I-I know we’re not ready, w-we’re far from ready. But know we’re in this together. You’re not him. You’re not her. You’re mine. No, ours alone. We have so much to work through. B-But I promise you, this isn’t bigger than us. All of us.” MC whispered as her own tears began to flow. Suit growled, head spiraling in every which way. We’re not ready for this, fuck, fuck, fuck! Suit’s hands loosened, letting go of MC’s hazel sweater. I can’t hurt her. His whitening knuckles coming to a pause as blood began to properly circulate around his hands. MC couldn’t help but let out a shaking sob, her body trembled, knowing she had put them in an immeasurable amount of pressure, pain, and general confusion.

“Saeran, I’m so sorry. W-We could’ve been more careful. But, I want you to know, I want to keep it. Y-You’re going to be an amazing father.” MC cried out with her trembling tone.

“No, MC. You’re going to be an amazing mother.” Suit finally replied, his usually gruff tone now replaced with melancholic monotone. Confused, MC pulled back, looking to face her lover. His pale face was motionless, not to mention seemingly emotionless (though MC knew his mind was running a hundred miles an hour). She could only stare at his ivory skin, pink lips brightly lit with crimson, she’d failed to notice how hard he bit his lips, or that he even was biting in the first place. Aquamarine met sepia. Suit could practically feel his pupils dilate. Meanwhile MC admired Saeran’s soft features, from the way his cheekbones protruded less, to the lightening of his dark circles which once held a monopoly upon his face. This was the face MC couldn’t help but adore.

…

A week later, and Saeran had still been struggling to face his reality. Their reality. Ray and Suit had been awfully quiet since the reveal, and Saeran had a hard time breaking through to them. But it was now or never.

“Sae, we don’t have to talk about this right now.. I mean, if y-you can’t.” MC stuttered. She was lying, she’d known this was an issue that could not wait, one that couldn’t be left to waiver, especially for weeks, let alone months, nine months to be exact. But she’d do anything to spare them from pain. Saeran on the other hand, paced the room. His eyes wandering the room, left, right, up and down.

“No MC, I have to get this out. We have to get this out.” Saeran said, stopping his disturbed pace to look MC in the eye, his own falling away quickly after just a glance. Saeran sighed out, his bated breath being expelled. MC took his milky white hand into her own, giving it a soft peck. It was their time to speak. Ray was swift to front, cheeks turning a cute shade of cherry. He sat next to MC on the dingy couch Saeyoung once resided on, raising his opposing hand towards MC’s cheek. She instantaneously reacted, leaning into the palm of his hand.

“That red head..No, S-Saeyoung and I. Our Mother, she was a monster..” Ray began as he suddenly flinched away from MC’s touch. Her heart ached, longing to reach for him and protect him from the world, but she knew he needed this.

“Everyday, that woman.. She’d left marks on me, more than physical. Everyday I still fear her, in small daily discussions or quarrels. Every raised voice, every swift hand. I see her. And I fear her. I fear her..” Ray’s voice trailed off, eyes growing glossier by the second. MC bit her lip in response,

“Ray, y-you don’t have to-”

“No Love, I do.” He cut in.

Ray placed his hands along his thighs, taking in a solid breath as a tear trickled down his cheek, meeting his neck.

“I fear those marks she’s left on me. I’m scared of being..Her. Of becoming a tyrannical parent like her. I don’t care what Suit says. I’m weak MC. I fear her imprint, I fear what she could do, to me, to you, to us, all of us.” He said as he looked towards MC’s womb.

“I need you here with me, I know I can’t do this. Not without you. There’s no one else I’d rather have this child with. With you as their Mother, I know it’ll be okay. W-We’ll be okay.” He said staring at the ground before meeting MC’s auburn gaze. His hands cautiously made contact with hers, gently intertwining before kissing her knuckles.

“We’re going to be okay.” She whispered.

…

“Come here!” Yelled out Saeyoung as he chased after the smaller redhead ahead of him, effectively scattering mud and dirt around the perimeter. She ran with all her might, giggling in between thunderous screaming.

“Never!” She screamed before running straight into Saeran.

“Oomf!” was the sound she made before turning to look up to her father. Saeran took a step back, hands coming to wrap around the nine year old before looking down at her. She grinned widely, her toothy smile melting Saeran’s previously chilly demeanor. He beamed ear to ear. He could count her missing teeth. Since when was she growing so quickly?

Saeyoung was quick to attack, pouncing onto his niece and younger twin. Consequentially bringing them all down onto the mud. Her and Saeyoung’s laughter roared, chirping as loud as the birds. After a moment of hesitation, Saeran joined in. All of them splayed along the ground, basking in the newly sprung sun.

MC strolled near the pile of redheads, carrying a sleeping five year old in her arms.

“You’re all awfully boisterous today,” she said, smiling. Saeran sat up, ruffling the boy’s brunet locks.

“Appa! Appa!” the boy called out to his father, pointing to the sky. Saeran turned to see a faint rainbow making its way across the azure atmosphere. He couldn’t help but turn to see his family’s reaction to the magnificent phenomenon. All of their eyes twinkled.

We’re okay.

#mystic messenger #mysme #mm saeran #saeran x mc #saeran #suit saeran #ray mm #saeyoung #mm 707 #mysme rbb

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homebody-nobody · 3 years

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43, 53 for jiara❤️

hi hello i finally wrote it and also wOW this one got long

Rating: M (implied?? maybe?? if ya like) Word count: 1411

43) take off your shirt, 53) pick up lines only work when I’m drunk

JJ takes a drag off his beer and drops his head against the tree he’s been leaning on for the past half an hour. The kegger was fun, until Jeremy Gabriels showed up and Kie realized that her eighth-grade crush had been sending her eyes all night. All she had to do was stand and head for the dance circle, and he’d sidled up with his hand on the small of her back. Kie normally threatened to remove body parts of the men who touched her without her permission, but she’d turned, and smiled, and looped her arms around Jeremy’s neck. That was about the moment JJ decided he was done for the night.

Now, he’s standing in the shadows, watching Kie dance with stupid fucking Jeremy, and the jealousy in his chest is a familiar ache. He’d asked her out, once. A million years ago, when they were still just kids. Did it right, with flowers and anything. She’d taken them, thanked him for being such a good friend, and in so doing, politely locked the door that led to them being anything other than best friends. Still, after all these years, he burns for her. It’s stupid and childish and so fucking helpless, but the reason he’s never gotten involved with anyone else, all the same. There have been hookups, sure. Flings with tourons and rebellious kook girls, but nothing, nothing, like the way he feels about Kiara.

He doesn’t plan on doing anything about it until he watches Kiara stumble as Jeremy leads her away from the dance circle and toward the trees. Kie doesn’t drink too much. She knows her limits, and is always sure that she maintains control. So when she leans back toward the fire and Jeremy tugs on her arm instead of letting her go, JJ’s moving.

“No, no listen,” Kie insists, and the slur in her words is difficult to hear. He doesn’t know if Jeremy’s slipped her something or if she’s gone a little too hard to try and impress him. Either way, the grip Jeremy has on her arm clouds the edges of his vision. “I can’t -- I’m not supposed to go off by myself,” she says. “I’s the rules.” The rules. Big John made them up, back when Kiara joined their ragtag little gang, roundabout the sixth grade. No pogue on pogue macking. That was one of the rules then, too.

“It’ll be fine,” Jeremy says, and the grin on his face makes JJ feel physically sick. He’s close enough now, and he taps Jeremy on the shoulder. The guy turns, but doesn’t have any time to react before JJ’s fist is crashing across his face.

Jeremy drops like a fucking stone, the wimp.

“Ha!” Kie shouts, almost losing her balance as she leans over to spit the word in Jeremy’s face. Her feet jog up and down in the sand as she does a stupid little dance. “Asshole!!”

JJ catches her shoulder and pulls her upright. “You okay?” he asks.

She jerks out of his grip. “I had it handled,” she grumps, sticking her lower lip out. JJ can’t help but laugh.

“Sure you did,” he allows.

“Nothin’ woulda --” she burps, and sways, and her brown eyes are glazed over and starry. “Nothin’ woulda happened.”

“I know, Kie,” he says, and reaches out again, his hand hovering just over her arm, there to catch her if she needs it.

“I’m a badass!” she insists, and goes to punch him in the shoulder. Her fists lands, but she overbalances and nearly falls into his chest. He catches her by both arms and stands her up straight.

“Yeah, you are,” he says kindly. He’s not usually the more sober of the two of them, and is suddenly grateful for all the nights she’s spent taking care of him. “You wanna go back to the party?” he asks. She closes her eyes and rocks back on her heels, and he has to brace his weight to catch her. “Oh, no no no!” he mutters, and when she rebalances, she actually does faceplant against his shoulder.

“Thanks for hittin’ ‘im, tho,” she mumbles, her face smushed against his body. “Tha’ was priddy cool of you.” Awkwardly, he pats her back with one hand, the other arm around her waist, holding her up. His stomach flips with her heat and proximity. He’s touchy with all his friends, but not Kie. He can’t handle it, knowing what it might feel like if things had gone differently all those years ago.

“You’re welcome,” he says, and she giggles in a very un-Kie-like manner. “Fuck,” he mutters, “how much did you drink?” She leans away from him, but he keeps an arm around her, just to make sure she doesn’t fall over -- or get close to falling over -- again.

Grinding the heels of her palms into her eyes, Kiara screws up her face like a little kid. “Last one was probably a mistake,” she admits. “Shouldn -- shouldna done that.”

“So,” he starts, and she hums, and nuzzles her face into his neck, and he bites his lip, closes his eyes, and begs the universe for patience. “Um --”

“I’m cold,” she whines, and brings her arms up around his waist, tucking herself against him.

“Fuck, shit, goddamnit --” he mutters under his breath, Kie giggles again. “Okay,” he says. “Okay.”

He manages to get her back up the beach to the Twinkie, and she collapses in the back like a ragdoll. Handing her a bottle of water, he tells her to drink all of it, and then straps himself into the driver’s seat. He has to keep glancing over his shoulder as he drives back to the Chateau to make sure she doesn’t pass out or anything. She just keeps looking at him with a stupid, dopey smile, and, at one point, gives him a stupid two-finger salute.

Getting her up the steps and through both doors is a challenge, but eventually he gets her into the spare bedroom, and digs out a clean t-shirt and boxers from the duffel he’s been living out of. “Alright, Kie,” he says. “Pyjamas.”

She’s laying in the bed that has essentially become his over the past few months, her hair spread across the pillow, crop top ridden up to expose her tanned, toned stomach, the sharp crest of her hipbones. He swallows, his mouth suddenly dry at the sight of her spread out in the moonlight. She’s smiling, liquid and lazy, and the only thing he wants is to fall over her, take her body in his hands, and kiss her until they both dissolve into stars.

“Lay down with me,” she says, reaching out with grabby hands. He chokes a little bit on his own spit, and just holds out the clothes a little farther. The slur in her voice is gone. She’d either sobered up in the van, or was acting more drunk at the beach than she really was.

“Kie, just take the clothes,” he says, hating how cracked and broken his own voice sounds. Her arms drop to the comforter.

“Buzzkill,” she mutters, and then, louder, “Make me.” Blood rushes into his face, and, despite his better judgment, he kneels on the bed. She sits up, a self-satisfied grin on her face, and JJ holds his breath, caught in a decision. She’s challenging him. Making this into a game. But he knows that door is locked. He’s tried it. She won’t do anything to shatter their friendship. She expects him to fall for the charade, to fall right into her trap, so she can embarrass him. He’ll play her game. But he’ll win.

“Take off your shirt,” he says, his voice dropping, the gravelly tone giving him away. Her eyes darken, and her fingers lift to brush the hem of her shirt. His stomach lifts and flips, but falls when he smells the alcohol on her breath. She’s only doing this because she’s drunk.

“C’mon, JJ” she says, her voice thick and low and sultry. His name in that tone, from her mouth -- it almost hurts to hear, knowing she doesn’t mean it. “Pick up lines only work on me when I’m drunk.”

“I thought you were drunk,” JJ answers, the words falling out of his mouth. Then, he kicks himself.

“Oh shit,” Kiara says, a grin taking over her face. Before he can say anything else, she’s pulling her shirt over her head. “I guess I am.”

cross-posted on ao3

#we love an ambiguous ending #jiara #jiara fic #obx fic #obx #outer banks

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taikanyohou · 4 years

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The reaction was really interesting. I agreed with a lot of Bright’s point and it was nice to see a different perspective. I really wish they had showed it in the show. You can tell Bright is really attached to Sarawat and it hurts his heart to see the pain. It also showed me that the finale could have been loads better with a few cute scenes and a proper discussion. This is what Bright was talking about. At the end of the day it was the lack of communication.

Ahh I loved that reaction video and I loved seeing Bright talking about Sarawat’s point of view. I’m sure one of the reasons they bought him was the amount of shit he was getting from some people. This however also showed me what the show lacked. Though I loved 2gether.. most of the time we saw things were Tine’s perspective. It would have really been good to see it from Sarawat’s perspective in the last episode. You can also see Bright’s frustration at times with how they portrayed Sarawat.

I assume you watching the reaction video atm! Let me say this boy gives me heart attacks like how thoughtful he is and wants to explain sarawat’s every move since episode 12 and why he acted the way he acted. I felt like he kept it inside for so long that it needed to be spoken out like when he wanted to see a reaction from P’Jennie how he looked away and then right back at her. He was so stressed and on the edge the whole time! How he repeatedly said he’s sorry for Sarawat cause he knows that everyone was sorry for Tine but didn’t get to see/understand his side of version. He also zoned out in a couple of scenes like this boy has sooo many emotions and it feels it’s too overwhelming for him(I feel that at least). I’m so grateful that Bright exists and talk about loving a man and to feel love so freely!! He could’ve said so much in the end but instead it was more like an apology for hurting Tine and how his character works. He understands Sarawat so much. I’ll cry. I didn’t thought my opinion would be that long... he’s speaking so enthusiastically about Sarawat and what his character taught him. This boy is really a blessing for the 2gether + lgbt+ community I love him he’s a child like a babie :((

Bright just wants to smooch his co-star but the universe won’t let him.

hiii anons!!! i’m gonna combine all of your asks into one bc we’re all essentially talking about the same thing.

yeah. so. the ep 13 reaction video. lets talk about it.

firstly, i ... it will never cease to astound me just how much bright loves sarawat? he knows him with every fibre of himself. he knows sarawat right down to the tendon and bone of him. like. bright’s taken so much time out to character study sarawat, get into his psyche and mind and heart. and. i hate novel! sarawat, but, bright’s taken that character, and made it his own, completely transforming him. and that takes so much understanding and commitment and passion. truly, we don’t deserve bright. we really don’t. and i am so thankful we got bright to play sarawat. no body else could have done sarawat better than bright. so much so that like .... they both overlap, bright and sarawat. sometimes its hard to distinguish where sarawat ends and bright begins.

and like some of yall said, i think it was a very clever ... move (?) ... to star bright to react to ep 13, solo, without win. bc, like yall mentioned, and like im gonna dwell on now: 2gether was entirely from tine’s perspective. it reminds me a bit of skam, in that way, that ... ya know even tho i’ve watched skam and i should KNOW this, but i still forget just how POWERFUL perspectives are. and how much they influence your way of thinking. i touched upon this after ep 12, but now after watching bright react to the whole of ep 13, like, it comes back to that. we saw everything through tine’s eyes. and so, it felt like, sarawat’s side needed to be justified. but it could never be done on the show bc the show was about tine’s perspective. and the only way it could have been done, is if they both would have talked.

which brings me onto my next point, that bright mentions - the biggest barrier and fault was they both don’t know how to talk. i touched upon this just yday actually, how sarawat is someone who doesn’t know how to talk, he’s more of a do-er (like bright said), whereas tine is someone who overthinks himself to the point of sickness and anxiety and so he doesn’t know how to voice that out, and like bright said, tine is someone who is EXTREMELY obedient - if someone says something to him to do, tine will go along and do that and won’t say no to them. which means that tine himself has had very little experience of going with his gut and how he feels, and when he comes face to face in a situation like that, it becomes Very overwhelming for him.

so, it was really clever to have bright on, solo, to explain everything from his and sarawat’s perspective. especially the bit where bright was like “everytime someone flirted with tine, wat never once questioned his trust for tine or their love, he would go directly to the person in question and deal with them.” and ... ya know, that’s more easier for sarawat to do, than it is for tine, who isn’t like that at all - like bright said, tine is the more obedient one who just follows along everybody else’s suggestions and has never really used his agency to decision make for himself.

and so ... yeaah. like. people sent a LOT of verbal abuse to bright after ep 12. and bright even said he knew it would happen, bc the entire series is from tine’s perspective, he understood that from well before. so he says he was prepared, but he still didn’t come on social media that often bc he got so much verbal abuse over it.

and like, i’ve said before, just like how jennie and go said in the reaction video, that we should have got less flashbacks in the finale, and instead, we could have had a more sweeter scene. that could have been and should have been a proper, open and honest conversation between tine and sarawat, or, as bright suggested, a kiss. so, ya know, as some people were saying that maybe bright was just uncomfortable about kissng win??? no. no he wouldnt be AT ALL. it just ... never occured in the script. but yeah. i think .......... it really did get to bright - that sarawat never on the show got a chance to explain.

which honestly makes me feel like thats why half the time he would improvise as sarawat? and add in things he KNOWS sarawat would/should do bc he KNOWS the depths of his love for tine so he used those moments so smartly to show that (a sign of v v v good acting!!!). like a marriage proposal, or putting tine’s hand over his shoulder, or adding in cheek kisses. like. bright’s really gone over and beyond for sarawat and tried to show just how intensely in love wat is with tine, with the little space and room for manoeuvre that he got granted.

idk if the some of scripts were written in a rush? i mean, 2gether was the FIRST show from gmmtv to air in 2020 - if i’m correct???? - so, between november to february, the had to get everything shooted and done, but they MUST have started script writing earlier than that. idk ...

personally, i do wish we did get some more of the novel scenes in the show. like, sarawat and tine coming out to sarawat’s dad was SUCH a BEAUTIFUL scene in the novel but we never got it on the show. why? bc it was from sarawat’s perspective, not tine’s. another really nice scene, is the cinema scene where they held hands, but on the show we got a different version of it, where instead, they talked about a happy or tragic ending before tine decides to accept being wat’s boyfriend and they hug (i like that scene though, purely bc we got to see win’s crying which was !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING! and the hug was SUPER sweet!).

but yeah, it .... idk. seeing bright in that reaction video in some moments Hurt. bc .... there was so much he wanted to say but he kept it in. and he’d just glance and sigh and look down or away bc he GETS sarawat in a way i think nobody else does. and so ..... had the show had more time, or was able to cut out some scenes and replace them with other and rewrite bits, we could have gotten sarawat’s perspective, and not had the show completely butcher sarawat’s image in ep 12 the way they did, only for them to then have less than one episode, a finale no less, to save his face again, whilst also tying up every other plot at the same time.

like, bright has SO MUCH to offer as sarawat. and bright says he doesnt know about a season 2 (yet), but, ya know, if we ever got to see tine and sarawat again, i kinda wish they allow bright more freedom - bc he understands his character a lot more better than the writers do, i feel. he gets sarawat on soul deep level. so i just wish they’d give bright more freedom to be sarawat. and i have no doubt that, if that had been the case, we would have gotten a LOT more physical intimacy between tine and sarawat. i’m not mad about the lack of it, but, i’m assuming that bright would have really made sarawat be a lot more physical with tine. but at the same time, i agree with bright when he said that tine and wat are people who show their affections to one another in private - which is why i am SO ...... upset that we never got to see tine and wat ALONE in the one year later scene, bc, like i said, they WOULD have been a LOT LOT LOT more intimate then. but they weren’t alone. so they weren’t intimate. which. yeah.

but at the same time, ya know, bright’s so .... like. he gets where the hurt for tine stems from. just like how he gets sarawat’s character, he gets tine’s too. but like he said, he’s lived and breathed wat since day one - and so, i think he just really wanted a chance to explain everything from sarawat’s point of view. he really didn’t need to apologise at all, and yet he did, on behalf of wat hurting tine.

so whilst i know its just said that oh ya know bright should just write the whole of s2, i kinda wish, if we were to get one, that they writers would sit down and LISTEN to bright and win and take some input of theirs in, since, they’re the ones who KNOW their characters and play them.

but yeah, bright’s mind. his intellect. his knowing of sarawat ............. it will never cease to amaze to me just how dedicated he was at an emotional and psychological level to play sarawat.

#faiza answers

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astra-musings · 4 years

Text

catch a break, part 2

requested? yep, continuation of a request by @faithiebrock01

this fic includes: owen grady x ready, fluff(?), ooc? kinda? lots of question marks today

warnings: some graphic imagery, the indom kinda uh eats a person so there’s that, but i don’t think i got too much into the details so,, also im pretty sure my grammar and tenses are all over the place in this lmao

summary: chaos. that’s... kinda it. a lack of understanding and a great deal more of underestimating a genetically-engineered animal’s intelligence and abilities definitely creates a mess that you can’t even begin to clean up.

a/n: so... my last update was... apparently a month ago... im SO sorry... covid really fucked me up, it got IB exams cancelled and idk how to feel! im sorry! but uh i will definitely try to be more consistent (ahem) with updates, i feel so bad oh no but 🥺please still give this lots of loveee

word count: 1.8k+ (oops)

part 1 // part 1.5

masterlist

Your body involuntarily tensed upon entering the Indominus's enclosure. You were looking for an entire dinosaur (which, when you think about it, was weird; how did something that enormous go missing?), and yet couldn't help serenity that bubbled inside you from being in a forest and submerged in nature's sounds. Talk about conflict.

Owen immediately walks over to the claw marks, hands reaching out to trace over the whitened cement. If you didn't actually know him, you might've called him excited to be here. You knew he wasn't.

You'd only been standing in the heat for a few minutes but could already feel your clothes gradually dampening with the sweat that started to gather. "How the hell would that thing have gotten out, anyway? Not like it could've walked out without anyone seeing it."

Barely a second passes before the too-familiar sound of rustling leaves comes from behind you. Too far to be something on the ground. Too crisp to be just a few leaves you stepped on. And much too loud to be just the wind. Owen's shoulders tense visibly before he turns back to you, already trying to make sure you were close by.

Your eyes meet his in silent confirmation. It's still here.

Right before the warning signals from your brain can reach your limbs, a roar rips through the jungle-like enclosure, so deep and so loud that it vibrates in your ribcage, as though you stood too close to the speakers at a party and someone was playing bass-boosted hits.

Owen reacts before you do, grabbing your wrist and turning the other way. Your legs move on their own accord, stepping into a sprint before your brain actually registers what's happening.

The security guard that was frozen stiff in the control room must've been keeping an eye on the two of you with the cameras while you were in the enclosure, because the reinforced gates a few feet away from you started sliding open. You only hoped you had enough time to slip through the opening before the Indominus did.

But just as you and Owen closed in on the gates, they started to close again. Owen throws the briefest glance back towards the control room, as if the guard could hear the nearly audible 'what the hell?' his face was giving off. You push the wrist he was holding towards him. Keep moving.

Adrenaline fuels your bodies, steering you and Owen on autopilot towards the gate that, at this point, seemed like it was moving further away. The gap through which you’d escape wasn't getting any wider either.

Owen reaches his hand out, extending his form, as though he was holding open the doors to an elevator. As if it would stop hundreds of tons' worth of metal and cement.

Your ears ring. Owen's body slips swiftly through the still-narrowing gap of the metal gates as his grip on your hand tightens almost painfully. A reminder that both of you were going to make it out of that enclosure. I've got you. You're with me.

And you do; you nearly crash into him as you push your legs just that much more so that you could catch up to Owen.

You turned back to look at the gates, feet still running on autopilot. Instead of seeing the gates close and finally allowing your body to come to a halt, hooked claws slipped through the seemingly too-small gap, its tips digging into the hard, layered cement as though it was anything but.

"You're fucking kidd–" You barely get the entire sentence out before Owen pulls you to the side, pushing you under an SUV as he followed a second later.

You manage to turn your head to the side, straining your eyes as you tried to gauge what the hell this animal was trying to do. Turns out, it wasn't that hard to figure out – you watched the workers' scrambling feet run across the gravel, trying to get themselves to safety, only to be followed by the too-large and too-scaly feet of the Indominus. You watched as its claws came to a brief halt behind each man and woman, before a distant thud ensued, followed by a headless or torso-less figure dropping onto the ground. You watched as those same claws grow nearer to where you and Owen were.

You gripped his hand. Your breathing was still labored, not having been able to come down off of the adrenaline that still kept you going.

Owen's hand pulls out of yours, prompting you to snap your head towards him in worry. What are you doing? Where are you going?

He seems to read your mind, nodding slightly as a response. He pulls a drop point knife from his back pocket, reached up above him and immediately started to tear apart some of the thicker linings on the underside of the vehicle.

You jab your elbow into him as silently as you could; what the hell was he doing? Was he going to blow up the car while you were still under it?!

He ignores you, continuing his relentless crusade on the wiring. Soon after Owen pulls them and empties its contents over the both of you as you scrunch your nose and eyes up. You're showered with cold liquid – water? No, water didn't stink; this was gasoline. Would this hurt the baby? Now you're really worried. You'd always trusted Owen in making decisions before, especially regarding your raptors, but now you were starting to question him for the first time.

A crunch in the gravel makes you spin your head to face the exterior of the car. It's those claws again. You'd almost forgotten about them in your, what now seems like blissful ignorance, worrying about Owen and his knife work.

Owen's hand grips your outer forearm, swiftly turning your body sideways to face him as he does the same. He didn't want you to keep looking. You feel his hand cradle your head to his chest.

Warmth spreads across your back. No, not from what Owen was doing. It was a literal, physical warmth. Like someone turned a fan on, but it spun out hot air instead of cool air. Like what you'd feel if someone whispered so close to ear that you could feel their breath on you.

It was the Indominus. Didn't take a genius to figure that part out. Except, now that you knew what it was, your nose seemed to involuntarily hone in on the metallic hints of the air that continued to fan across the both of you. Blood.

Your eyes screw shut as you press your forehead farther into Owen as the Indominus lets out a low growl from the base of its throat. It was so close to you, you felt your chest vibrate with the sound.

Almost as quick as it came, the Indominus struts away from the vehicle, away from you. The thumps and vibrations ripple across the ground, fading with the Indominus's continuous, low growls.

The gravel shifts once more, only this time it was right next to you, and the source of the sound was Owen – one you knew and one that was much, much, more comforting than some genetically-engineered beast. Fishing for his phone, he pushes his hips up to reach into his back pocket. His fingers move deftly across the screen, swiping and punching for some currently unknown number. The hand behind your head holds you closer to his chest.

The dull ringing of the phone is interrupted, "Owen! The Indominus esc–"

"Yeah, I fucking know it escaped! You didn't see Y/N and I running for our fucking lives, Claire?!"

So it was Claire on the other end.

"Of course I saw, Owen. I saw everything. Are you okay? How's Y/N?–"

"You don't get to fucking ask how we are, Claire. You put us in that room. You put your workers, your security guards and yourself in danger. You put Y/N in danger," at the mention of your name, you lift your head away from his chest and place a hand in its place. You could tell he was getting a little heated. Ever since you'd gotten together and started working with the raptors, he'd been extra-sensitive about your getting in harm's way.

"Speaking of security guards; the one that was with us in there? Yeah, his head's just making its way down the Indominus's digestive tract. So yeah, we're fuckin’ peachy."

Silence follows on the other end. Owen heaves out a sigh, as though reluctant to be having this conversation.

"Y/N and I are gonna make our way back to you. Keep an eye on that... thing. You need to keep it the hell away from your park guests, otherwise–" Owen pauses. Not a single one of you wanted to say, or even think, about what would happen, otherwise. He hangs up with a huff.

"C'mon, baby, let's get you outta here." He slides himself out from under the car as you begin to do the same, getting to your side just as you're about to get up. He dusts off your shirt, taking your face in his hands with the gentlest cradle.

"Are you okay?" he tilts your head from one side to another, looking for injuries, "Did it getcha? Scratches? Bruises? Does it hurt anywh–"

"I'm fine, Owen," placing your hands on his forearms, you bring his frantic movements to a stop, "this head might just fall off if you move it anymore, though." You try to joke.

He lets out a breath, "S'not funny, baby. I don't know how you're still laughing after that."

"I'm just tryna make you smile, love," you give him a gentle but reassuring grin, "no, but really, I'm okay. Promise. A few scratches, I think, but that was from the gravel."

"Besides," you start, "some 40-feet tall dinosaur could never lay a claw on me." You puff your chest out comically.

Owen laughs heartily. "You're somethin' else, y'know that? God, I dunno what I'd do without you. Too strong for your own good," he pauses briefly to entwine your hands, "c'mon, we still got a long way to go before we get to the control room. We'll take the bike, yeah?"

You let out a small 'mhm' in response, smiling up at him before he turns to lead you to where his motorbike was still, supernaturally, scratch-free except for the fact that it was turned to its side.

Owen turns back to give you one last smile before letting go to pick up and reposition his bike. You take those few seconds to let your smile drop as your mind and hands wander back to your stomach for the nth time that day.

"C'mon, Y/N," he beckons you from the now upright bike, "you alright?" He seemed to notice your sudden change in expression.

"Yeah, I'm good," you bite your tongue, not wanting to add onto his currently growing list of worries, "Let's go."

#owen grady x reader #owen grady imagine #owen grady #jurassic world #jurassic world imagine #chris pratt #chris pratt imagine #chris pratt x reader #owen grady reader insert #chris pratt reader insert #fic #faithiebrock01 #catch a break #astra-musings

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urlocalbunny · 4 years

Note

Small kinda weird and NSFW question. How would the guys and girls react to a female s/o that either was born without a clit or has scar tissues covering it. ( I was just told that happen to me and Im kinda freaking out )

It's not weird at all, anonie! I hope you will calm down eventually and see what could happen! By guys I take it the LI's, maybe Neil?

You did not tell me if you can feel stimulation yet or not, so I made it quite vague so that you can visualize it. Let's do this!

Aaron: Honestly will care the least because he is scarred all over. He might ask if you're comfortable to do something sexual yet because he knows just how self conscious of scars one can be and if you'd feel ok with him touching you whether you feel stimulation or not. If you say yes, he will carry on like nothing ever happened. He loves you and this won't change anything. Will always give you reassurance if you need it.

Raphael: He probably feels it and after you explain your situation to him, he will understand and carry on too, but he might be a little flustered because he'll get the feeling that he hurt you for reasons that are similar to Aaron's. He doesn't want you to think that he finds you to be less or weird. Tells you that, kisses your temple and that's pretty much it.

Beliath: Will be confused. Why are you acting like he didn't notice it before you? He's going to laugh at how cute you are thinking this changes anything. Won't immediately carry on, tho. If you're both talking about sex life on his bed over a wine glass he'll mention it to you and ask you how would you feel more comfortable with him addressing it: would you want him to ignore it? Do you feel good even if your clit is covered? If not, you know he'll compensate on another areas, right? And don't think about being sad over it, he won't let you.

Vladimir: Might lock up a little. It's not that he cares or thinks it's weird, but he thinks he's going to hurt you no matter what he says or what he does not say. He's just going to say he loves you anyway and it doesn't matter, but you might have to reassure him that you'll be fine with his touches again. He's going to be extra careful because he doesn't think you will understand that he just doesn't want you to be hurt or think he doesn't love you enough to see past physical contact.

Ethan: Will treat you like you're a patient for a hot minute, then he will frown at you if you look sheepish. If you just open your legs as if nothing is happening, he will praise you for being confident and say that that's what he likes, but if you try to warn him he'll say that you don't owe him any explanations, and that you've got to stop giving a damn about what he thinks and just enjoy yourself. If you're saying that because you don't feel much, he'll just act cocky and say you won't need it as long as you both are fucking. Honestly does not give a damn, you're hot and if he got to the point of loving you, he won't stop because of something simple like that.

Ivan: Might back off of you after you say it and give you space because he thinks he isn't good enough to say everything he wants or to show you he loves you and your body no matter how. He loves you and he thinks the only thing he does to you is fuck you up. After a while, though, he will man up and test your body again with trembling fingers. He's really afraid you'll break. Says he loves you no matter what and you'll think this whole situation is affecting him more than it should by now. Just hold him and tell him to chill. He'll come back to normal and say he's sorry and that from there on, he'll deal with you better if you just be patient.

Neil: Pfffff, he doesn't care at all. Guaranteed he'll look, realize, forget all about it, and fuck you like there's no tomorrow because while it's nice if you feel something, he doesn't need your clit to make you feel everything he wants you to. If you can't feel anything tho, no pressure, he won't be pouty. There are many, many other things about sex that he will show you.

Farah: Another person that knows how it is to have scars AND she is a woman at that. She's not going to care much too, but will ask you if you want to talk about it since the discovery of something this rare isn't something you do every day. Will be very adamant on your consent to touch or not, respecting if you have insecurities or just don't care at all. If you don't care, she will be very proud of you.

Constance: Will genuinely say she does not know what do say or do but wants you to show her what to do. She will feel a little powerless and that might make it look like she's angry but you know it's not with you, she just didn't think about this situation and now you need her maturity and her comprehension on your decisions since you're building a sexual life together and she doesn't know jackshit. Shell come around if you show her what would be the best behavior to you.

Leandra: Another person that realized before you did and does not give a fuck. She's going do be there if that's a difficult subject for you, but she can make you feel all sorts of things if you just sleep, so she tells you not to worry if you want to experience things and you can't, she doesn't even need your body to make you feel good. That's not an Issue. If you don't care and you just like to say what you found out, she'll laugh and say "It was about time you found out, honey."

#moonlight lovers headcanons #moonlight lovers #moonlight lovers smut #bunny's writing #moonlight lovers fanfiction #ml beliath #ml ethan #ml raphael #ml aaron #ml vladimir #ml ivan #ml constance #ml leandra #ml farah #ml neil #nsfwbunny

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blucmoon · 3 years

Photo

━ ☾ ⊹ ( im jaebum, cis male , he/him ) say hello to AE YONGGUK, the TWENTY SIX YEAR OLD that seems to have a lot in his hands with HIS job as a STALL OWNER, DRUMMER AND OCCASIONAL BARTENDER! beyond that, they seemed RESPONSIBLE AND TRUSTWORTHY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of EVASIVE AND INSECURE though. HE seems to live in a 4 BEDROOM HOUSE in YUNHWA, SOUTH KOREA. anything else to add? oh, yeah! he also RUNS A STALL CALLED “KODACHROME” WHERE HE TAKES PHOTOS FOR IDS, SELLS PRINTS AS WELL AS BOOKS SESSIONS FOR PHOTOSHOOTS.

basic information

full name: ae yongguk

nickname(s): guk, yonggu (hasn’t figured out why)

age: 25

date of birth: january 6th, 1995

birthplace: seoul, south korea.

hometown: yunhwa, south korea.

current location: yunhwa, south korea.

ethnicity: asian.

nationality: korean

gender: cismale

pronouns: he / him

orientation: demiromantic, bisexual.

occupation: stall owner and drummer of a band called “crux”. sometimes he helps at his aunt’s bar in busan for some extra money.

living arrangements: house #4012, hwesakgu.

language(s) spoken: korean, english (conversational)

physical appearance

faceclaim: got7’s im jaebum “jb”

hair color: like almost everyone, he has naturally brown hair but throughout the years he’s dyed it blonde or black a couple of times. right now, it’s black and he has managed to grow it to a length he really likes below his chin. yongguk can be usually seen with his hair down and every so often he puts it up in a half updo. whenever the band has a gig, he exerts a little more effort (even if most of the time it doesn’t pay off).

eye color: brown. (likes colored contacts every now and then)

height: 179 cm

weight: 66 kg

build: lean person, with a good muscular frame.

distinguishing characteristics: two beauty marks right next to each other on his left eyelid.

tattoos: has a full sleeve on his left arm from shoulder down to a little above his wrist and another one his right forearm.

piercings: lobe and upper lobe in both ears, anti-tragus on the left one, double helix on the right, anti-eyebrow and nose on the right side of the face (won’t ever use jewelry during the day though).

clothing style: while he’s working at the stall he has a more casual style consisting of jeans, cargos, pants, button downs, sweaters. likes layering with denim shirts, flannels, jackets, windbreakers over t-shirts, etc. mostly in earthy colors, dark reds and blues, white, gray and black. no matter what though, he will always wear long sleeves, even in the hottest summer days and never roll them up, going to these lengths just to not draw any unnecessary attention. (he’s even gotten a fair amount of rash guards for those occasions when he feels like going for a swim.)

at the bar or at gigs, he’s usually clad in all black or dark tones. sleeveless shirts or those with short sleeves are his go-to, not nearly as concerned to conceal the ink over his arms from the public eye at night. he likes to choose style and comfort when performing, thus splurging a little more on his nightly outfits rather than those he uses on the daily. leather and denim jackets, bombers, sometimes harnesses, jeans in either black or leather, boots, sneakers, muscle shirts, graphic t-shirts, shirts with the first buttons undone and rolled up sleeves in dark, rich colors. style varies from street fashion to grunge to rocker depending on how he feels.

health

sleeping habits: goes to sleep really late but has no trouble waking up early to go to to work, though for the first couple of hours he’s awake and if he has gotten 4-5 hours only, he’d be kind of silent and unresponsive until getting that first cup of coffee. will likely nap before his shift at the bar only for an hour and a half tops.

eating habits: eats 3 - 4 times a day and gets easily hungry between meals. often seen snacking whatever he can.

exercise habits: doesn’t really exercise much constantly, but on the weekends he likes hiking or running around town.

emotional stability: 6/10

body temperature: average

addictions: none

drug use: experimentally a couple of times, hasn’t done it in a while.

alcohol use: socially, medium-high tolerance.

personality

label: the opaque (unable to be figured out; hiding behind a façade; not transparent.)

positive traits: reliable, responsible, hard-working, trustworthy, loyal, thoughtful, generous, creative, passionate, artistic, caring, considerate, devoted.

negative traits: defensive, evasive, cautious, indecisive, defiant, self-doubt, fluctuating self-esteem, conflict-averse, private, self-conscious, sensitive, unpredictable.

hobbies: starting songs he never finishes, watching the same show every year (avatar the last airbender) as well as his comfort movies, cloud/star gazing, jigsaw puzzles, origami, video games, playing guitar sometimes.

habits: knuckle cracking, muttering under his breath, snacking between meals, rubbing hands together, jaw clenching, gesturing while talking, rubbing the back of his neck, running hands through hair, drumming fingers, sings along to songs and sings gibberish for the parts he doesn’t know, doodles on any paper at reach, dozes off when bored/daydreams, bobs his leg while sitting.

zodiac sign: sun capricorn, moon pisces, rising scorpio (read as: impending disaster)

mbti: infp

enneagram: 6w5

temperament: melancholic

hogwarts house: ravenclaw

moral alignment: chaotic good

primary vice: wrath

primary virtue: diligence

element: water

expanded personality

yongguk has a strong tendency to appear quiet and reserved and it might come off as standoffish or easily confused with snoberish, which makes it worse when he doesn’t go out of his way to change this preconception about him. he needs a great deal of personal space, both physically and mentally, and any attempt to control him or forcibly schedule his activities will only strengthen his need for time alone.

he’s responsible, trustworthy and hardworking. relies heavily on his intuition to guide him and knows how to patiently wait as well as how to adapt to any circumstances. in yunhwa, he’s been forced to learn how to interact with the townsfolk and through the years he’s mastered the front he puts on in order to remain below the radar and not get any unnecessary attention; polite, helpful, sometimes even considered as a sweet guy, yongguk has no problem lending a hand to anyone that needs it.

however, in busan, his adaptability is also handy when it comes to dealing with customers. at the same time, it’s in these moments when he feels a little less restrained and allows himself to be less calculative: flirty, playful, sometimes misleading… he’s gotten in several problems because of this and yet he has no plans to stop it anytime soon.

yongguk is a little insecure and with a fluctuating self-esteem: sometimes he’s very well aware and confident on his skills and assets, but other times he will second-guess everything about himself. this combined with an strong fear of failure that stems from poor past decisions, makes him hesitate when it comes to making important calls that could potentially affect his future, but he knows how to play it off… most of the times.

despite appearing simple at a glance, yongguk is more than what meets the eye. friendly but private, polite but passionate about his beliefs, calm and sometimes expressionless. it’s not that he doesn’t have feelings - he actually runs quite deep and strong - it’s just that he conceals them under a mask of politeness because he’s unsure how to deal with them; he’s restrained when it comes to conveying emotion, but has a very deep care for his peers. might be awkward and uncomfortable with expressing himself verbally, but has a wonderful ability to define and reveal what he’s feeling on paper.

yongguk is genuinely interested in understanding others, a good listener, but will exclusively share his sorrows and woes only with the friends he trusts the most, unafraid to display his best and worst with them. his natural intuition allows him to sense the mood without the need of words. however, he can be quite impressionable and be easily influenced by the moods of others, which may often lead him to feel overwhelmed because of this.

incredibly curious, yongguk loves to explore with his hands and his eyes, touching and examining the world around him with cool rationalism and spirited curiosity. he explores ideas through creating, troubleshooting, trial and error and first-hand experience. yongguk can be a challenge to predict, even by the closest people to him. can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but he has a tendency to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking his interests in bold, new directions.

with a good memory, he can recall experiences from the past down to smallest details. this is both good and bad: remembering the good memories is a way to ease himself when in stressful or sad situations, but he’s also prone to dwell on previous mistakes and regret them for a long time.

he’s not consistently angry. will either let the anger build up and release it all at once in an outburst or let it out slowly through small, critical remarks throughout the day. sometimes, both. he’s very difficult when annoyed, but it usually doesn’t last that long. a perfectionistic through and through, his main source of anger usually comes from things not being up to their standards. not good at sparing others’ feelings when he does become irritable. doesn’t like conflict and will go to great lengths to avoid it. in those occasions where he does have to face it, he will approach it from his feelings and mistakenly place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. yongguk will react to the emotions he’s going through and won’t care whether or not he’s right, which makes him appear irrational and illogic.

background (tldr)

his parents work in the field with doctors without borders.

yongguk was born in seoul and lived there for six years before his parents sent him to yunhwa to stay with his grandparents while they went abroad.

seven years passed, his parents would rarely contact them, much less visit them.

in the meantime, his grandma taught him how to play many instruments, being a musician herself and he was enrolled in kwangsook academy.

at thirteen they returned and guk moved with them back to seoul. around this time he became more reserved and quiet, the conversation always focused on his parents achievements and interests.

he made it his goal to become a doctor in hopes of having something in common with them. it was a way to seek their attention and approval.

a year later, a new plan was announced and yongguk was back in yunhwa with his grandparents. he was actually pretty happy about this.

started taking his studies seriously in his junior year of high school, going to the extent of dropping music and every other altogether.

he successfully managed to get into pusan national university, school medicine.

however, the whole experience was something he wasn’t ready for at all. for a year and half he struggled to keep up with his classmates and was utterly ashamed to compare his simple goal of wanting to get closer to his parents to the drive of everyone else.

he drops out after talking with his grandfather, a successful doctor himself.

initially excited to get the chance of truly discovering what he wanted to do, a single call from his father deterred his enthusiasm. he was supposed to return to yunhwa, instead he decided to move in with a friend and stay in busan… where everything goes downhill.

at only twenty and under the fake pretense that he’d get his act together, he allows himself to make mistakes and act recklessly, secretly wishing that’d be enough to get his parents attention.

he found temporary jobs all around busan and never lasted too long, but he still made money and that’s the only thing he really cared about at the moment. things aren’t great, but they aren’t that bad, or so he tells himself.

at twenty one, he gets a full sleeve on his left arm as well as many piercings. a couple of weeks after this, his grandparents decided to pay him a surprise visit and the state of his apartment as well as life… is not optimal.

coincidence or not, his parents video called them at that moment. it was the first time he heard from them in a year, and it was the last time as well.

seems like only his appearance was enough to finally trigger some sort of emotion from his father, but it wasn’t really the kind he was looking for. it was anger and he could clearly see the disappointment in his eyes. a heated argument ensues, one that ends with “you’re not our son anymore.”

perhaps it came a little too late, but it was the much needed wake up call to get his act together. not in order to mend the relationship with his parents, he knew that’d be impossible. but more so, for himself.

he perks up at a suggestion from his grandmother, one that was about a long forgotten hobby of his: photography. he remembers an old shoe box filled with polaroids and undeveloped films under his bed.

thus, he stays in busan after enrolling in a community college for a year-long photography class. around this time, one of his aunts offered him a job as a bartender in her bar and since then he’s been helping her every now and then. he says it’s for extra money, but in reality is a way to repay her from hiring him when no one else would.

after he was done with his course and had saved enough money to get a decent camera, he decided it was time to go back to yunhwa.

he returned three years ago. luckily, his reputation there remained intact and he wanted it to stay that way thus hiding the ink on his skin with long sleeves and removing the jewelry whenever he was outside.

yongguk moved back with his grandparents, this time to help them out and take care of his grandmother who started to get a little ill. he picked up playing and making music after finding his long abandoned drum set in the garage.

with the help of his grandfather, he opened his very own stall called “kodachrome” where he takes photos for ids, sells prints of his own work (mostly of yunhwa’s scenery) as well as books sessions for photoshoots.

a year and half ago, however, he had to find a new place. his grandparents decided to retire and move to jeju. thankfully, he managed to get a deal to rent a house from one of his grandma’s friends. the house was a little too big thus he decided to post an ad online looking for roommates to share the space and ease the expenses.

in the present, yongguk is still running his stall and getting contacted every blue moon by small influencers and event planners looking for his services. three nights a week, he goes back to busan to work for his aunt at the bar and every other night he has gigs with a band, which was randomly created after having far too many drinks with his roommates.

background (full)

tw: mentions of needles, tattoos, substances but nothing too graphic.

ae yongguk was the name given to you and and your endearing smiles as well as adorable dimples seemed to be more than enough to have everyone coddling and cosseting you from the get-go. nonetheless, permanency was never on your parents’ agenda. by the time you turned six, they moved away and you were shoved into your grandparents’ household in yunhwa.

it’s difficult to comprehend the sudden change, being told that you’d be living with them for some time. how much? they don’t specify, but the next thing you know is that you’re wordlessly bidding goodbye to your parents, who promised to write and come back for you soon. they didn’t. being part of doctors without borders and making it their goal to offer medical aid where it’s needed most, they put their humanitarian labor before parenthood.

the first letter you got arrived eight months after they left. there’s disappointment and there’s also heartbreak, but they don’t last long. you don’t allow them to regardless of your young age. instead, you focus on how your grandfather, despite having severe and strict ways, squeezed your shoulder and offered the small smile that you know all too well now. or how your grandmother, a renowned musician, didn’t hesitate to shower you in unconditional love. your education didn’t cease and your grandfather immediately enrolled you at kwangsook academy.

one of your most prominent traits is how transparent you are with your emotions and your grandmother easily learnt to read this. it was no surprise that the first time you saw her playing a beautiful song on her baby grand and your irises sparkled with curiosity, she immediately beckoned you closer. “hi, my love.” the elderly woman greeted while shifting a little so you could take a seat beside her. you meet her eyes and you wonder if she’s looking for anything by the time an easy smile appears on her face. “do you like music?” you’re unable to respond, but she must’ve seen something because, after that, she started teaching you the basics of piano. a couple of days later, she asked again and this time around, the answer naturally slipped out of your mouth: i love it.

for your regular classes, you were constant and responsible. sure, you enjoyed learning, but your interest wasn’t inherently there. it was just something you had to do. however, when it came to that newfound love for music of yours, you were the one with the initiative to ask for more lessons and practice whenever you had free time; first the piano, later the guitar and a couple of years later you made the stubborn decision to learn the drums.

it was nice staying in yunhwa, it brought you a comforting sense of belonging. it was the beginning of finding your own voice; discovering your likes and dislikes, some of your talents and even the chance of making friends. however, there was always a lingering question in the back of your mind and a deep sadness you rarely showed: when are my parents coming back?

they do, but only for a short period of time.

you had only turned thirteen, but the moment you saw them you were but an excited kid, joyously yelling and running to hug them, but they greeted you rather… frivolously. you try to ignore the breach between you and them, which you felt the most when you were holding your mother’s hand; her skin a couple of degrees colder than your grandma’s. they ask how you were doing and, in your frenzy, you start talking about everything that’s happened all this time only to be interrupted; the voice you were starting to grow inevitably drowned in the sea of their own achievements and stories.

it’s then that they tell you they’d move to seoul and you’re to go with them. apparently, with the intention to settle down and give it a go to having a normal family. you say goodbye to your grandparents, and unlike your mom and dad, the promises of staying in touch with them are real.

you were silent and reserved around your parents. you had to after learning that no matter what you tried to tell them, the conversation always ended being about what interested them. for a while you pretended to be okay with it, but soon you started wishing they paid as much attention to you as they did to their cause. it made you think that, by immersing yourself in that world, you might be able to keep them interested long enough or make them proud, and your very own obsession to become a doctor started right there. simple questions that had your parents perk up are what made you believe that your plan isn’t too far fetched.

luckily, you were able to retreat to your music whenever everything became too overwhelming, but even this wasn’t enough to stop an ever growing beast called dissatisfaction from making your chest its home. it increases in size and sometimes it’s so big that you’re unable to keep it in your ribcage, coming to light with rebellious little acts such as not doing your homework or bluntly strumming your guitar late at night. eventually, unspoken words and jumbled thoughts find their way into old notebooks full of an amateur’s unfinished songs.

it’s exactly a year later that they announced their new plans of moving to the other side of the world, plans that didn’t take you into consideration at all. it was disappointing, but not really surprising. still, you were able to comprehend the nature of their jobs, after all they were brilliant doctors and only a handful were willing to offer the assistance your parents did. you stop expecting things to change after the farewells you exchanged with them. you wished them the best and truly meant it.

going back to yunhwa at fourteen is something you anticipate; your grandmother welcomed you with your favorite food and your grandfather with a blank notebook. “for your songs, son” he said with that smile of his, learning about this new hobby of yours from one of the many mails you sent them. both were happy about your return and helped you pick up your studies where you last left them.

it’s in your junior year at high school when you truly get serious about your studies, medical school was your single goal. even though you’ve come to terms with the relationship you had with your parents, a hopeful part of you genuinely believed that becoming a doctor would help breach the distance.

and so you do, dropping music altogether and every other hobby that “needlessly” consumed your time and energy. it was admittedly exhausting and you were obviously miserable without playing any instrument. the sleepless nights and the isolation you brought upon yourself paid off the moment you received the news of your acceptance at pusan national university. that very night, you got a call from your parents congratulating you.

for the next year and a half, however, things prove to be extremely challenging when you find yourself amongst thousands of students whose drive and ambition is stronger than simply wanting to get close to their parents. it’s shameful, you admit and the constant pressure as well as the competitive environment soon takes a toll on you, but it was much needed for you to start questioning everything; yourself, your goals and if it was really what you wanted.

the person who helps you to fully come to this realisation is none other than your grandfather, another renowned doctor in your family. it’s shocking to hear him encouraging you to drop out and follow your dreams. truth is you were far too concerned chasing after a hopeless goal than to craft ambitions and dreams for yourself. still, you follow his advice even when you are completely at loss about what the next step would be.

if news of your acceptance travelled fast, so did the news of your departure. you got a call shortly after and all you heard was “we’re very disappointed” followed by radio silence before your father hung up. you were nineteen, about to turn twenty, when they last talked to you.

their silence becomes one of your many excuses to make mistakes and act recklessly; if your good behaviour and your previous little act didn’t catch their attention, this surely will. it’s your shield against the disapproval in your grandfather’s eyes, and that very shield is what stops him from stopping you. even when you told him you wouldn’t return to yunhwa, instead moving to one of your friend’s apartment in the heart of busan.

it’s amusing how easily your grandfather believes your fake promises of trying to get your life together and you feel awful for being such a good liar. you find decent jobs, but never stay too long. unnecessary fights with customers or blatant irresponsibility are the main reasons that force you to find a new one every couple of weeks. you’ve been many things: a busser, a server, even a mascot. you didn’t mind much as long as you were paid.

you willingly dive into a void filled with indulgence and bad decisions. all in order to not think, to not dwell on the future. you used every situation you could possibly get yourself into as a distractor from the painful reality. you were lost, so utterly lost.

twenty one comes around and you decide that, for the first time ever, you’re going to gift yourself something. a permanent work of art, its canvas your skin.

three monthly salaries were spent on black and red ink which reminded you of your favorite place. the needle pierces your skin once, twice, hundred times until your arm is almost fully covered… maybe it was a metaphor, a feeble attempt to display something bright and wonderful on someone who otherwise had long lost every trace of that. it was not enough and a couple of piercings follow in trying to beautify the sheer mess you’ve made of yourself.

some nights you question your own strength and sanity. you used to be pristine, someone to be proud of and an exemplary resident of the town you fondly call home. you were constant, had talent and a midas touch that turned meaningless words into beautiful songs, scribbles onto paper into melodies that had every listener humming along.

what happened to you, boy? says a voice in your head… or is it from your chest? is it the dissatisfaction you’ve tried to keep locked for years? all it took was to be called a disappointment once for you to willingly become one?

it consumes you and every passing day it becomes louder, but you’re stubborn and simply take it as a challenge to find new ways to drown it. headachingly loud music, poisonous substances, liquid trust or the ecstasy under someone’s fingertips… the city swallows you whole and provides you with momentary sweet oblivion but… is the aftermath of impeding remorse worth it? it is, you convince yourself while running back into it’s arms night after night.

one day, without warning, three knocks come onto your door and when you’re about to curse whoever disrupted your game, you’re met with your grandparents. your appearance is deplorable; bloodshot eyes, greasy hair and alarming signs of lack of proper sleep. it hurt to see your grandmother, as crystal clear as you wear, worried and at loss of words. a thing the city taught you was to be a pretender and so you ignore every sign of concern in their faces while smiling at them. “long time no see!” you say cheerfully.

it’s a quiet visit. they don’t know what to tell you or where to start, and neither do you feel a need to fill the awkward silence when your grandfather’s phone went off. he answers without thinking to a videocall and the voice that greets him has you freezing on your spot. father. your face falls and your eyes widen in obvious panic when he asks about you. the older man in the room seems to be equally as frantic as you when he glances at you, taking in how you look before your father speaks again.

“oh, is yongguk there? let me talk to him.” his authoritative tone was enough to have your grandfather turning the phone towards you. it’s late, far too late to fix yourself or even try to hide the glaringly bright red ink on your arm. so, in your frenzy, you decide to play cynical. what else could you lose, right? “hey, dad.” you greet with a shameless smile upon your lips. “your timing is as impeccable as ever.”

the argument that ensues forces you to retreat to your room and you thank whatever universal force that your roommate decided to have a weekend-long trip. it’s a heated fight, and you realize midway through that this is the longest conversation you’ve ever had with your father. why is it that the most display of emotion you get from him is when you don’t follow his ridiculous standards? he gets louder, so do you and it escalates to irreversible words. the last thing he says is “you’re not our son anymore” followed by silence.

then you laugh.

you laugh over the irony of an absent father saying such a thing. you laugh because you don’t want to allow him see you hurting. you laugh at how fucked up the whole situation is. “doesn’t make a difference, does it?” you say between unabashed chuckles. “not like you ever acted like a father, anyway.” and you hang up, your legs giving in and only then did you notice that your whole body had been shaking this whole time.

you muffle a scream on a pillow while feeling so alone and like the butt of the cruelest joke. you want to hate your father and your mother. you want to despise them for their horrible behavior. instead, you find yourself crying like an abandoned kid wanting, yearning for the love that wasn’t given to him. you want to run, to disappear, to hide where no one can find you.

then, two arms wraps around you and even though your grandmother is a little smaller than you, you find yourself feeling protected under her embrace. shortly after comes a pat on your head from your grandfather. you look up at those brown eyes full of wisdom and, when he tells you “everything will be okay, son.” you wholeheartedly believe him

because, a year later, things started looking up.

#INFO.TXT #YONGGUK.EXE #LOC.YUNHWA

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ambered-glazed-sheep · 4 years

Note

Please do go on about Doomslayer and his morals. I'm legit fascinated by him since starting the let's play I'm watching and I'd love to hear your take on him (I know literally nothing about the Doom franchise other than lots of blood and violence against demons and also badass music)

You know, a year ago when my friends asked me 'hey do you wanna play minecraft' and i said 'yeah sure' i would have never thought i would one day have a minecraft sideblog where i get questions about the personality of the main character of a shooter fps game (of all things!) that is known for its incredible violence.

But here you go:

(prepare yourself this has gotten way longer than i thought oh god, and also it has nothing to do with hermits whatsoever. warnings for language and descriptions of violence? and i assume the readmore won’t be working the way i want it to)

Ok so, Doom!

First of all, i know nothing about the old games, and i’ve only seen a minimal amount of Doom Eternal Letsplays. Most of this is based on Doom (2016).

Ok so we all start out thinking Doomguy! It’s the guy you play in Doom. The hand that hold the gun YOU are shooting demons with. And sure, you can go trough the whole game with that mindset, but that’s boring and we are overthinking fictional characters in this house.

ID software actually managed to give Doomguy/Doomslayer a TON of personality despite him never saying a word, barely any cutscenes to show what he does when you don’t control him (at least in Doom 2016), and not a lot of other characters to interact with despite enemy monsters.

The game just leaves you little hints and snippets and that’s what makes Doomslayer so exciting to think about. Just the right levels between ‘cryptid half-god who never shows emotion and is a player-insert’ and ‘this dude’s got an AGENDA. he has PLACES TO BE’. You are him as you play, but sometimes he makes decisions on his own. But personally, i could never find myself to disagree.

First, you got the intro sequence.

You got a unknown voice telling you:

“They are rage. Brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse. Rip and Tear, until it is done.”

First of all, YO. WOW. HOLY SHIT.

The scene immediately shifts to Doomslayer waking up. He’s naked, he’s chained down somewhere, theresa SHIT TON of scars littering his arms and hands. First thing HE does, on his own behalf, is ripping off the chains by flexing a little (literal iron chains!!!), smashing a zombies head against the sarcophagus he lays in and completely obliterating said head into a bit of blood (mind you, three seconds after he woke up from a thousands of years long coma!! but we only learn that later), and then promptly gets up, picks up a pistol, and now it’s your, the players turn. This takes like 8 seconds in total. This man means BUSINESS. That’s the first thing we learn.

Second thing that strikes me is the interactions with Samuel Hayden.

Doomslayer is patient when a computer voice tells him the status of the base. He is patient as he looks at the screens to see what is going on. (a demonic invasion, thats what). But then dear Dr. Samuel Hayden calls.

Dr. Hayden says “Hi, i’m the boss here, i’m sure we can work together in a way that benefits us both uwu”. Doomslayer immediately grabs the PC screen and pushes it aside. His gesture says, i’m done with this. im sick of this dude. this guy is full of shit. And he’s right! And that after barely hearing two sentences from Hayden!

So the second thing we learn is that he has no time for people trying to exploit him. He hears Hayden, he has a gut feeling that this dude is a little fishy, maybe he just plain doesnt like higher ups and heads of facilities. But we learn that he IS. NOT. going to listen to this man, and his body language makes that very clear without being actually violent against the person (he doesnt destroy the Screen either! just pushes it aside very annoyed. He isn’t mindlessly destroying property here.)

This continues.

Hayden goes ‘hey maybe don’t destroy that energy source!’ in the few seconds you dont control him, Doomslayer listens. He hesitates. He considers. Then he destroys the thing anyways. Hayden keeps telling him to stop, but Doomslayer doesnt listen. He’s got his own mind!

This was mostly about Haydens Company, the UAC, harvesting hell energy, and hurting people in the process.

There’s a scene where Doomslayer rides an elevator. Hayden, over the comms, tells him that everyone that has died in the demon attack was a nacessary sacrifice that will bring a new future or some shit like that. the camera pans down to show some poor sods corpse at those very words. Doomslayer cracks his knuckles. he is NOT HAPPY about that, so we know he doesnt like it when human lifes are sacrificed. He destroys the communicator, so he doesnt have to listen to Haydens voice telling him lies and trying to sway him anymore.

(then he takes out his shotgun, the doors open, metal starts playing and the doom logo is shown, but that’s more about making the player feel epic than showing doomslayers personality,,)

Now i would like to talk about VEGA, the AI that controls the mars facility.

VEGA occasionally talks to us/the Slayer. He is very straightforward, tells us what to do and why to do it, and is generally very polite. In the story, Doomslayer listens to Vega.

Now why does he listen to VEGA but not Hayden?

I think it’s because Hayden tries to get him to do things that just benefit him, and Hayden is very manipulative in his words (or tries to be lol), while Vega just says (if you destroy this thing, that door will open. I think Doomslayer appreciates it when people are honest to him.

And in the end, Doomslayer on his own decides to save a backup of VEGA. VEGA didn’t ask him to, Doomslayer did that on his own. It’s not relevant to his mission, he doesnt need VEGA to go to hell to close portals and whatnot. But he does save him. Why? I think it’s because he cares. Because he’s come to like VEGA. Because Vega didn’t try to manipulate him and screw him over.

Next up is the Slayers Testament.

These are a bunch of writings/recordings that you find scattered in the hell levels. (i highly recommend listening to them/reading them, they are metal as fuck and give me such an immense feeling of power bc they are talking about me, the doomslayer)

These testaments were written by demons. They were genuinely afraid of the slayer.

Quote:

Unbreakable, incorruptible, unyielding, the Doom Slayer sought to end the dominion of the dark realm.

As said, i don’t think these are purely talking about his physical strength. They are talking about his... well, mentality. His Codex. They see him as an unstoppable force. He is incorruptible. Let that sink in. Man walks trough hordes of demons and at no point ever thinks ‘yeah maybe this is a bit much’ or ‘they just keep coming this is pointless’. No. He’s unyielding. (Can you tell how much i love the words in these testaments? It’s just got such a nice ring to it.)

In battle, the Doomslayer is BRUTAL. He tears apart demons, rips their eyes out, all that. He stomps on heads like they’re water balloons and isn’t fazed at all. Nothing stops this man. (except players like me who fall off the map 5 consecutive times, but lets just imagine the doomslayer is actually like he would be if someone played the game perfectly. player skill shouldn’t be considered in my headcanons jahdjhgd) One could even argue he has fun at this, because there are some animations like ripping off a zombies arm and beating the Zombie with it, or feeding a demon it’s own heart.

I feel like that says a lot about his personality as well!

He doesn’t hesitate. He doesn’t doubt himself. He doesn’t question his cause! He fights to get rid of the demons, not just the ones in his way, but every. demon. He will go out of his way to kill more demons. You could either take this as him having fun, or him following his own moral codex to get rid of every demon, or him being a not-quite-human war machine, or wanting to protect humanity from them.

I would say it’s a healthy mix of all that :D

In older games, there was this whole backstory snippet of him returning to earth, finding that the demons had invaded his planet but also killed his pet rabbit (Daisy), and he then goes onto a 2-game long revenge trip.Take that as you will.

The last thing i would like to mention is this post.

Please watch the video. Doomguy walks trough the rows of random human guards. This is the walk of a man who doesn’t owe them SHIT. Yes, he wants to save humanity. Yes, he cares. But he also knows who he is. He knows what he did, and what he will do. He doesn’t have to justify himself in front of these shady scientists and jerky guards.THEY owe HIM, in fact. This video emits the sheer CONFIDENCE of someone who has walked trough hell multiple times and knows none of these people could even touch him. Yes, he would never kill them. He would not harm humans. But he doesn’t care about making them uncomfortable with his presence, either. He doesnt ask for permission.

(i think by now i am using the exact same words they did in that post. really, its worth the read. i think there’s a lot of repeated things between this post and that post by now but i encourage you to watch that video. its worth it.)

Also, the impact he has on the people in this room! they trip. they walk backwards. they go quiet, stutter. they are intimidated. They know he’s technically here to help and save them, but now, standing in front of them.... just wow. it really puts things into perspective. it tells the player that all the demons that he’s killed, all that the doomslayer has done... its noted. it has an impact.

I’m not really sure where i’m going with this anymore, but watching those NPCs react to the slayers presence just adds so much more to his character. it tells us how people see him, and boy.... do they see him.

i think it also ties a lot into how the player is made feel, controlling doomguy. all these head stomping and limp tearing animations, the guns, people being scared, watching doomslayer destroy important equipment from first pirson or pushing open doors or whatever... it just gives me such an immense feeling of power! i can’t even describe it. (...it also has nothing to do anymore with the original question but holy shit did i love playing doom for the sheer atmosphere of it. despite me being horrible at playing.)

(at the end of this i’m realizing that all of this never addressed if doomslayer is happy and content murdering demons, or if he just wants his peace and quiet but can’t help himself every time he sees a demon. i would propose to leave that up to headcanons. mine is a mix of both but in a way that makes it not angsty. like he loves to have his calm moments, but is just as happy to rip some demon’s spine out. probably gets a little itchy and impatient if he hasn’t fought in a while.)

also if you’re interested in game design and way more professional people talking about why doom 2016 is great i reccomend this documentary

...anyways it’s past 1am and this has gotten way out of hand but

tl;dr: the doomslayer is metal as fuck, he has a lot of agenda he is following, and i love him so much

#amber talks #doom #where do i even begin with this?#i wanted to answer this in the morning but that was over an hour ago now #jdakjsdhasdjh i can't help myself theres so much to say about doom!!!!#you asked for this anon #it's just so... *clenches fist*#i forgot of course that the music is pretty much the best thing ever and i've been listening to it SO MUCH while writing litve #everything about this game is designed to make you feel powerful and HOLY SHIT is it working #id software did a great job #i watched a whole documentary on this it was great #...yeah i study 3d stuff this is pretty much in m #my field haha #i've just had all these feelings in me for months and now that someone showed the slightest hint of interest it's all coming out #sorry its so unorganized i tried to at least take one point after the other #now to write another essay on why the slayer and the mandalorian are very alike in some parts but mando is so much softer #(its because slayer has been trough hell and back while mando still has hope in the world)#(i mean mando is a jaded and tough bounty hunter but all that he is doomslayer is cranked up to eleven)#(shush now i said in another essay! go to bed)#(....its not gonna be an essay its gonna be a fanfic and its gonna be great)#(mando is such a softie......)#*pushes my mando/slayer agenda on my side blog as well* ah i see #long post #...very long post #hey i've hit 2k words with this!#....i've written litve chapters that are shorter #EDIT: WAIT FUCK I THINK I MIXED UP THE SECURITY GUARDS LINES WITH A FIC I READ ONCE #or did i gave EX that line in the last ask i answered????#i'm??? im gonna go to sleep lol

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wildgeese2017 · 3 years

Text

You: what makes you happy?

Stranger: His smile

You: thats so nie

You: nice

Stranger: But I haven’t seen in in a while

You: :(

Stranger: What makes you happy?

You: i like lying down and feeling the earth cradling my whole physical body i like listening to music by myself

You: but i feel like its all sucks bc it never lasts

You: like his smile

You: i dont know how to make sense of it all

Stranger: I feel you

Stranger: Seems like nothing lasts

You: it scares me

Stranger: And you never know when the last time is going to be the last time

Stranger: You always think you will have more

Stranger: Until you don’t

You: i feel like an animal i feel so blind to what fate has planned for me

You: i want to believe in something to sort of see everything through the right lens but i just dont know whether i cud

You: like i dont know what gods means to me

You: what does it mean to you?

Stranger: I try to trust in him

Stranger: But the faith is being tested

Stranger: I feel like so much unfairness couldn’t come from god

You: i used to know so surely that the whole point of this suffering was that it was a test or an inevitabilty but i worry that my conclusion was false

You: im scared that my faith is just learned helpessness

You: do you have anything you wanted to say

You: like why you are on this platform

Stranger: I just hope you get enough motivation to hold on

Stranger: Even if it’s the bare minimum

You: thanks im fine i just feel so confused

Stranger: I am pretty sure that someday something will come that will make it worth it

You: im doing well im being nice to my loved ones im going to work im having fun im just existentially terrified

Stranger: For everyone

You: yeh i think so too

You: i kno u dont kno me but im rooting for you

Stranger: How old are you ? Sorry if that’s too personal

You: im 20

Stranger: I’m rooting for you too!!! 😄

You: thx

Stranger: The confusion starts at the twenty’s

Stranger: I’m 25 and haven’t figured it out

You: lol ive been confused 4 so long tho

You: i think being confused is the whole point

Stranger: Maybe the meaning of life isn’t to find it purpose

Stranger: But to live and live while it lasts

Stranger: Love*

You: like its all just fluctuations of energy and the universe is just reminding itself that it exists bc being is the point of being like a perfect circle of belief and truth

You: yes i think so too

You: but it leads me to chasing empty bliss

Stranger: You should write a book about it

Stranger: Or poems

You: i want to feel more purpose but i dont know how im scared of nit finding peace and my vulnerability being exploited

You: i write poetry but i feel as tho i havent developed craft

Stranger: You must be brave to feel extraordinary :)

You: how do u express urself?

You: :)

Stranger: I dance

You: <3

Stranger: I’m a dancer

You: thats so wonderful

Stranger: Not good with words

You: does it make you feel free? i can only dance with the lights off

Stranger: Sometimes I turn the music up and close my eyes and just dance whatever I feel inside

You: that sounds nice

You: what kind of music do u like?

Stranger: And most of the times it feels like breaking my own heart

You: :(

Stranger: But it flies itself back together right after

You: in a good or bad way?

Stranger: Glues*

You: sometimes i wish i cud crack open my heart and show people

Stranger: I feel like a slightly cracked heart must fall apart to be build up again

You: i always paraphrase kafka when he said the reason for everything he did is to try and express the unexpressable

Stranger: People tend to ignore small cracks

Stranger: But take it serious when it’s all in pieces

You: :( i wish we cud all b more gentle with each other

Stranger: Same

You: i wish i had more energy to see everyones breaking hearts and fill up the cracks with my own love

Stranger: And I wish we would only fall in love with people who fall for us back

You: are you in love with him?

Stranger: I am

You: i dont kno whether ive ever been in love love what is it like?

Stranger: I’ve been in love once before

Stranger: And I swore I’d never open myself up for anyone

Stranger: And my best friend convinced me to go on this date with this guy

Stranger: And when he kissed me I just knew

You: that must hav been terrifying

Stranger: Took me 5years tho

Stranger: To fall like this again

Stranger: It was

Stranger: In it’s ironic way

Stranger: And it still is

You: i can tget close to anyone like that bc ive got all this stuff i cant let anyone see its brave for you to let someone in even if it hurts

Stranger: You know what?

Stranger: It wasn’t a decision I made !!

You: huh i never thought of it that way

You: maybe it was god

Stranger: Im fact the decision I took was to not let him in before we went on that date

Stranger: It wasn’t something I was in control of

Stranger: And it took him 5 hours to kiss me 😄

Stranger: And when he did time stopped

Stranger: And so did my senses except for feeling

You: what makes him so special? is it just the way he makes you feel or is there a big reason in your mind?

Stranger: It’s …

Stranger: How can I say this

Stranger: He was a surprise

Stranger: I didn’t expect him to be that good

You: did you feel like you had met before?

Stranger: I thought he’d be just another mediocre guy

You: so he suprised you

Stranger: But when I saw his smile and eyes I just knew I was screwed

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: Feel good to finally talk about all this haha

You: ive never felt that way about way about anyone it sounds so confusing

You: is he kind?

Stranger: He was

You: is he not anymore?

Stranger: Sadly no

You: :(

Stranger: He decided to take a step back from me

You: what did he do to make you feel this way (if you dont mind me askin)

You: oh

Stranger: I remember when he called me to tell me he’s not ready for a relationship

You: what are you going to do? i cant imagine never seeing anyone i care about like that again

Stranger: Last time I saw him was three weeks ago

Stranger: And last time I heard from him was one week bwfore

You: did you know him long before ?

Stranger: Three months

Stranger: Not that long

Stranger: But I knew what he would mean to me when I first saw him

Stranger: So it felt like a smaller eternity

You: that sound so difficult

Stranger: I miss him terribly:)

You: i cant imagine feeling that way it wud really scare me everyone i talk to ive known for like 8years i cant give so much of myself to someone new

Stranger: You don’t have to give yourself to someone all at once

Stranger: Be protective of your energy

Stranger: And never trust the other person to not hurt you!

Stranger: But trust yourself and how you will react to it

Stranger: Trust that’s you would be strong enough to handle it

You: do you think he saw the real you? its so weird to think that everyone percieves you differently and out of your own control i worry that i focus too much on an idea of a person that i cud be

Stranger: Yea and no

Stranger: What I showed him was the real me but I also know that I didn’t show him everything that I am

Stranger: I feel your fear ! You got to know who you are as a person first

Stranger: And you got to be authentic with the people around you

You: i think it takes so long to show a clear picture of urself and its always moving and running away from the person you were when you last talked to that person who you want to really see you

Stranger: Exactly!

Stranger: That’s probably the most genuine talk I ever had

You: im so tired of trying to be a person i wish i cud just melt into everyone around me but theres so much i dislike about those around me and its not possible anyway. its just hard knowing the reason for everything is human connection and not living in a way that respects that truth

Stranger: Thank you

You: thank you too

You: i really appreciate your sharing its so scar to be honest out loud

You: *scary

Stranger: True

Stranger: I guess being anonymous makes it easier

You: yeh i just i was going to see a friend today who i feel like understands me but i couldnt in the end and i needed to express a part of myself u kno even tho im talking to other people who know me and care its not the same

You: i hope ou feel better soon regardless of what he chooses for himself

Stranger: I know exactly what you mean

Stranger: After all I have to choose myself over him as well :)

Stranger: Sometimes love isn’t enough

Stranger: Who am I fooling… most of the times it’s not enough

You: i have so many kind lovely friends and family who is trying but i cant let go of this heavy thing its like theres always some invisible chain wrapped around me

You: yeh :(

You: why cant we all help each other more

Stranger: Not many people are spiritual enough to say love is enough and all that matters f*ck the rest

You: i know so many people in pain and im too tired to be there all the time

You: its easy for me to say love is enough when i dont hav so many real problems that cant b solved with love alone

Stranger: I really pray for you to break out of those chains

Stranger: You seem like an amazing loving and caring person

Stranger: You deserve happiness

You: thanks i dont kno whether my hope has any power to reach you but i really hope you get some relief from your pain too

You: you too

You: i think we all do but i cant know that im so lucky to not meet people who are cruel enough to take that belief away from me

Stranger: And if you ever do meet people like that do me the favor of removing them immediately

Stranger: If it costs you your peace it’s too exoenz

You: i guess but i always think what happens to them when im gone?

Stranger: Expensive *

You: where do they go?

Stranger: ALWAYS !

You: what do they feel?

Stranger: That’s none of your business

Stranger: Let them find their own way

You: yeh i think we all need to respect ourselves to let go of toxicity

Stranger: You don’t have to guide them

You: i just feel like i want to care more i want to love more but i dont and that makes me feel small and selfish i wish we cud all connect our love its so scary not being able to reach each other

You: im scared to change and become better it sounds so hard i feel so selfish

Stranger: You’re not selfish if it means protecting your energy

Stranger: But don’t stand in your own way

Stranger: Be brave

Stranger: Can’t stress that enough

You: thanks i think i do need to be braver i try and look more people in the eye but maybe i need to be brave against myself more than against other people

Stranger: Have you ever watched greys anatomy?

You: since they arent in my control

You: no but all my friends love it

You: its on my list loll

Stranger: So Meredith grey said something like :

Stranger: Maybe she wasn’t opening up to people not because she was scared of the love she would receive

Stranger: But scared of what would happen when they took this live away from her someday

Stranger: Once you get a taste of love

Stranger: It’s like a drug

Stranger: Love*

You: like you and him, i find it hard to accept it when people choose me over someone else so i push them away to other people and i get upset that they replaced me

You: love is so scary

You: its too much

Stranger: Me and him …

Stranger: I feel like this story is not over yet

Stranger: :)

Stranger: And that calms me

You: i think if you have so much love inside you, u will succeed and find yourself in a good place if you focus on that love

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: I literally believe in love because of the way I know I am capable to love

You: sometimes i worry that im not capable of love like that like i have something inside me that puts people off even though on a surface level i seem nice and passionate or sweet or whatever

You: like i worry im just playing a part and soon ill get tired of acting and i wont be what people need anymore

Stranger: Don’t worry too much

Stranger: Just truly be yourself

You: thanks i will try too

You: its so weird loving life this much and still not being happy

Stranger: Damn

You: like im so happy but its never enough

You: its not the right kind of joy it wont fit

Stranger: And this whole convo started with this simple question

You: loll

Stranger: What makes you happy

Stranger: Lol

Stranger: You know what I just realized

You: wot :0

Stranger: My answer was wrong in so many ways

Stranger: Your happiness shouldn’t be depending on someone else

Stranger: Cause you can’t control other peoples behavior

You: thats so real

You: its so scary tho since you cant b alone but you cant rely purely on others

Stranger: Your happiness should only be in your hands

Stranger: So controversial

Stranger: It’s a daily risk lol

You: like other people are all that matters but to them you are the other people so we all need to be kind to ourselves to be kind to each toher but we're all to hurt and scared to do all of it in the right way

You: we're all walking around with a piece of the happy puzzle and we have'nt figured out how to put it together

Stranger: sometimes we forget that all people are vulnerable and maybe hurting too

Stranger: When someone hurts your feelings you tend to forget you might have hurt theirs too

You: i always remember but i dont always respect it and that makes me dislike the kind of person i let myself be

Stranger: You will learn to

You: i hope so

You: i think thats the point

Stranger: Don’t pressure yourself

You: like we live and we all learn the same lesson

You: but it seems like its always repeating

You: like why haven't we learned it yet

You: like we're all one soul

You: and we can't reach the end of this problem or is the point how good we feel at points of it? i cant just chase joy if its fleeting iworry that even love is fleeting

You: idk i know we only hav the present

You: like all the advice uve given me i trust it

You: i just freak out thinking of the big picture

Stranger: Relax 😄

Stranger: It’s not all that serious

Stranger: Don’t forget to live along the way

Stranger: Love was never meant to be safe or measured!

Stranger: You got to be brave and love irritationally

You: i think that that is fair i just i go long stretches living and then i remember the whole question of why and how shud i live and i get all tangled up again

Stranger: And instead of being scared, trusting yourself with it

You: i think i need to trust more and i think faith is trust

Stranger: Grow and learn to trust yourself

You: i want to have more faith in myself in others in the future i just worry the way i acheive this will only be a bandaid i want more than blind faith i want to see the world and see it as it is and still feel love and joy and trust the universe and myself to experience it correctly and even let go of the whole concept of correct.

Stranger: I also think I might fall asleep soon lol

You: thanks for listening i think i will too lol good luck i wish you all the best <£

You: <3

Stranger: That’s what I wish you too

Stranger: From the bottom of my heart

You: :-)

Stranger: Take care strangee

You: u 2 :-)

Stranger: Stranger*

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the-toppat-king · 4 years

Text

Chapter Two: Small Steps

Right groaned as he came out of unconsciousness.

He flexed his fingers a moment before opening his eye.

Wait. Where was his other eye?

Suddenly the Toppat sat up, realizing he was not longer fully human. At least half his face was now covered in metal, and throwing off his blanket, he saw that his right arm and both his legs were gone, replaced with metal augmentations. Flexing his new hand a bit, he took a breath to calm himself down.

First things first, where was he?

Glancing around, Right saw that he was in the medical wing, and that Reginald was sleeping not far away in a chair. At first he was relieved seeing the leader unharmed, but he quickly realized that wasn't entirely the case. His throat was bruised, his hair was messy and he looked like he hadn't slept in days.

Right knew the moment he looked at him that he'd been defeated.

"...Reg?"

Reginald jolted awake at the sound of his voice, face immediately morphing into one of relief. He got to his feet, apparently trying to seem dignified as he walked over.

"W'at 'appened?" Right frowned as Reginald sat down in a closer chair.

"Henry caught me." Reginald sighed. "It was either give up leadership to him or be given to the government. Thankfully it seems at least some things haven't changed."

"Once a Toppat, always a Toppat." Right forced a laugh, but immediately knew that this was a bad situation. The last time they saw Henry was twenty years ago, when they killed Terrence. Henry had run away almost immediately after, and while they had searched for him there was no finding Henry when he decided to go missing.

Not to mention he and Right had actually fought. It was only Henry thinking to fight dirty and pulling a knife on him that he wasn't hurt.

"'E didn't...'urt you...did 'e?" Right asked, grabbed Reginald's hand. Reginald shook his head.

"He had me by my necklace. The bruise is from the pressure. I don't think he was trying to hurt me, or it would have been easy from that position." The former leader explained. He took a deep breath, rubbing it before meeting Right's gaze. "That...that Henry. That's not our Henry anymore. I can barely recognize him anymore."

"Reg, it'll be fine." Right replied. "I'm sure 'e's just a bit s'aken up from everything- like those government scum sending 'im in to do t'eir dirty work."

"Right, Reginald?" Sven's voice interrupted before Reginald could reply. "Henry is in his office. You should probably go show him the ropes. He's...acting skittish, for lack of better words."

Right groaned. So much for soothing Reginald's fears.

_________________________________________

In hindsight, Right wasn't sure what he expected.

At first when he saw Henry bent over a desk, muttering to himself with Terrence's old Top hat on his head, he thought he was seeing a ghost. Terrence could have never denied that Henry was his son.

"With Charles and the General this might be difficult." He was muttering in a hoarse, weak voice. Henry didn't use his voice much, but Right didn't think speaking should sound so painful. "I could probably drop them someone rural and lay low a few weeks, but that might piss off the Clan. But if I keep them with us the Government might come for them. Or at least for the General. Either way the Clan has to lay low and they're pissed that I saved two government officials instead of just letting-"

"Sir?" Sven spoke up.

Henry jolted, turning around, back to silence. Right rolled his eye, stepping forward. "'Enry, we ain't strangers, don't act lik-"

Suddenly the leader was on his feet, body tense. Both Right and Reginald froze, taking in his body language.

He looked like a cornered animal, every muscle tense and ready to either fight or flee. He glanced around for a possible exit before his eyes settled back on Right, Reginald and Sven, clearly untrusting. First Right felt nearly uncontrollable rage. What the fuck did those assholes tell him to make him act like this?

Henry must have noticed, because he took a few steps back, eyes narrow.

Second, Right doubted his earlier statement of "Once a Toppat, always a Toppat."

Toppats didn't act like this. They were typically dignified, cool under pressure. If they needed an escape they looked for one without giving themselves away. They didn't stand tense, waiting for the enemy to make a move before they reacted. They either shot or they got the hell out of that situation.

Their Henry acted like a Toppat.

This Henry didn't.

Of course Right recognized this body language. It was pretty common, especially with criminals on the street. Typically it was criminals and thieves who ran into fights a lot and so needed to be ready for a scrap.

He saw it in desperate, afraid people. The Henry he knew was neither.

Right took a step back, seeing Henry relax a little. Reginald is right. That's not our Henry anymore.

"Settle down." Reginald stepped forward this time, and Right noticed that Henry wasn't as tense. He's reacting based on threat level. He knows if it comes to a fight, he couldn't do anything against me, but Reginald isn't going to be as physical if it comes to a confrontation. He wasn't sure if he should be impressed that Henry was already taking mental notes or concerned because Henry obviously didn't trust his own high ranking crew. "Right isn't going to do anything."

"Do you see what I mean?" Sven sighed. "He can't seem to talk unless he's alone, he freaks if anyone approaches without a warning, he's acting like he doesn't know us."

Movement caught Right's attention, and he noticed that Henry was signing.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here."

"Then don't stare at us like a deer caught in headlights!" Sven shot back. "Henry, stop acting like we're strangers! Do you really think Reginald, Right or anyone else would hurt you?"

Henry's expression went from being annoyed to being...unsure for a complete lack of better words. Sven's shoulder's slumped.

"You...you don't trust us?"

"The last time I saw any of you," Henry signed slowly, seeming unsure of his word choice. "Was twenty years ago. I was six and had just witnessed my father being overthrown as leader of the Toppat Clan and shot in the head." He took a breath before adding: "I know now that Terrence was a terrible leader. But I didn't understand at the time and I didn't know what would happen to me. I still don't."

"You're not Terrence." Right spoke up. "W'y would we 'arm you for his terrible decisions? Especially twenty years later."

"I just burst in through the window in a giant hamsterball, tried to run you over, proceeded to stab you and push you off a bridge when I got the opportunity and took Reginald hostage. That's all just from one day. Why would you all not want to kill me?" Henry's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Not to mention I was working with the government? Okay I was kinda taken hostage-"

Right glanced at Reginald, mouthing a "why did you not fucking tell me this?". Reginald shrugged in response, looking a little helpless.

"-but a Toppat would never betray the Clan in the first place. I betrayed the Clan the second I deserted it, and I did it again when I tried following through with the Government's plan. The only thing stopping me was the fact that even if they kept up their end and pardoned my crimes I don't have anything to go back to." Henry seemed to deflate a bit. "No one would be stupid enough to hire a thief infamous enough for the Government to track down. The only jobs I could find were all as test subjects."

Right could tell the gears were turning in Reginald's head, and Right was figuring it out too.

Henry wasn't wrong.

His goals here were completely centered on self-preservation. Fleeing as a child when he thought his life may be in danger(which could be excused, Right supposed, still didn't look good), likely defaulting on theft to survive, the only thing he would have known how to do(and likely continuing to do so into teenage and adult years when people saw a bratty little thief rather than a kid who didn't know how else to get by), taking the deal the Government offered him for a chance at a life even slightly more sustainable than what he had now. Even accepting Reginald's last-minute bargaining, leader of the Toppat Clan was a safer, more stable life than anything else he could do with his reputation.

Toppats didn't act like that. They were actively disgusted by people who held their own lives as more important the the Clan's safety. It was one of many reasons why Terrence was overthrown- not caring about the Clan and prioritizing his own thrill over their safety.

The Clan already had every right to overthrow Henry. They had helped raise him, yes, but that meant his betrayal left a deeper wound than a stranger's.

Trust on both ends needed to be rebuilt, and it wasn't working with the way things were currently going.

"'Old on." Right suddenly spoke up. "I need a time frame. 'Ow long was I out?"

Henry sheepishly held up five fingers.

"Five 'ours?" That didn't seem right.

"Days." Henry signed.

Ah, that makes more sense.

"'Ave you interacted at all with the crew outside w'at was necessary?" Right crossed his arms.

Henry looked even more sheepish.

"'ave you even ate?"

"I managed to make him eat when Reginald handed over leadership since he was skin and bones." Sven spoke up. "Otherwise he hasn't touched anything."

Right sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I swear to God- Sven, go get something small for 'Enry, please. Just a sandwic' or something, because somet'ing tells me this c'aotic dumbass 'asn't been eating nearly enough and 'e needs to start slow.

Reginald sighed, swinging an arm over Henry's shoulder and sitting him back down as Sven left. "Henry, you need to trust Right, Sven and I. The Clan is willing to give you a shot as long as one of us higher members doesn't decide you're not fit to lead. But that means you need to work with us and stop being self-destructive." He looked up at Right. "Hey do we have anyone with a psychology degree or something? Henry's definitely going to need a therapist."

"Excuse me, I am not a child-" Henry signed, face red.

"T'en I don't suppose you're ready to open up about w'at the 'ell 'appened before you got 'ere?" Right asked.

Henry didn't have a response for that.

"T'at's w'at I t'ought." Right sighed. "I don't t'ink we 'ave a therapist, t'ough. Could you at least try opening up to Reg first? You don't need to tell 'im anyt'ing major if you aren't comfortable yet. But we've got to start somew'ere."

Henry sighed, nodding.

Something told Right that this would not be the last conversation they had of this nature, but he supposed it was good enough for now.

#Chapters #Right Hand Man #Reginald Copperbottom #Henry Stickmin #Sven Svensson #RHM's POV #The Toppat King

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arsyeong · 5 years

Text

[3] yes or yes | wje.

o n e / t w o

summary: jackson wang has been annoying you ever since you started working at the same place as him. when he offers you a deal that ends up with him stopping, there was no other option other than yes. word count: 1,627

a/n: gotta get this out here - this entire thing was a MESS . i didnt know where i wanted this story to go but it went here and now this is the end because im finishing stuff up before school starts (ive said that so many times um). but i still hope yall like this though hehe ^^

He had said that seriously, his eyes locked on yours and his body portraying no sign of ingenuity. It had always been you. He didn’t even know a Sohee that works on your floor, because his eyes had always been on you.

He had tried to forget you – he was an idol – but he just couldn’t get you out of his mind. Whenever he had the chance to think about anything aside from his work, his thoughts always drifted to you. It drove him mad how you seemed to be everywhere – you were on his sheets, you were beside him, you were wrapped around him, you were with him – though you’ve spent less than a day with him.

He was convinced he’d never see you again but, then, there you were.

In the same building he goes to every day, in the same area, staring at him in surprise.

He couldn’t help but drift to you physically now that he knew where you were. In between practices, errands, arrival and departure – any time he had a chance to see you, he took it.

“You should ask her out then,” Jaebeom had advised him but, every time his conversation with you was building up to that very question, you would push him away. It took three times of that before he realized he annoyed you, and he wanted to stop, but he couldn’t just let go of you.

Tonight was supposed to be a closure of his unrequited love for you. His plan was to take you to a wedding, have a little fun with you and leave his few fantasies of ending up with you.

His sudden confession was not part of the plan, but maybe he subconsciously decided to leave that part out there and make things too awkward for him to go near you.

He stares at you now as he waits for you to react but, even though he’s afraid of what you have to say, he still can’t help but admire how beautiful you look in your dress for tonight. You simply shone in his eyes, in ways he can’t express. That brightness of yours blinded him and made him lose control of his normally relaxed self; maybe it was the reason he always acted like a fool around you.

When you don’t say anything in the next minute, he sighs sadly and hops off his car. “I should take you home now. It’s getting late.”

“But I thought you said we should wait until the party’s over?”

“I’ll just tell them something came up,” he says, and he tentatively holds out his hand, “You’re right. This wasn’t part of our agreement.”

You choose to hop off on your own, and Jackson’s quick to retract his hand. He begins walking but realizes he was headed to the passenger side so he turns and bumps into you. “Sorry,” he murmurs, not even looking you in the eye as he steps back and goes on his way.

You’re left standing there, the wind slightly blowing at your dress and at your hair. You didn’t want to be too close to him just yet, so you sigh and face the view earlier once more.

The city is bright in the distance, and you can’t help but think about how it was you and Jackson Wang who ended up in a situation like this among all the others in the world. Would the two of you be any different if you had met under different circumstances? If you weren’t heartbroken as you are? Would he be happily in a relationship right now if you hadn’t approached him that night?

There were so many possibilities, but this was the one that became your reality.

“Let’s go,” you hear Jackson call from the car. You turn and see him looking back at you, and the sadness was evident in his large eyes. He offers you a small smile, but you lower your head and rush to the passenger side. “It’s colder in here,” he says when you open the door and get in, “There’s air conditioning.”

He turns on the radio and cranks it up a tadbit louder than he had on the drive to the venue but, otherwise, there was silence.

Until you tell him to stop the car.

“Did you forget something?” He looks at you, genuine concern illuminated by the faint glow from the radio.

“We need to talk about it, you know.”

“About what?”

“About you liking me!” You’re frustrated. You know he’s just playing dumb to postpone the conversation, but the thoughts have been eating at you and you just want to let them all out. “If you don’t want to talk about it, fine! Just let me say my piece,” you take in a breath, “I went over to you for a one-night stand. I didn’t expect to see you again but then there you were, flowers in hand and recognition in your eyes. You were supposed to be the closure to an ugly era in my life. Seeing you every day made me feel so guilty of the things I’ve done in that period, and that’s why you annoy me so much.

“I really wanted to end any connection with you tonight but now you’re telling me you like me and I don’t want to be rude and brush you off because you don’t deserve that! You’re a really nice guy, Jackson; you’re kind, smart, funny, athletic, handsome, mature, good in bed and so much more. If you didn’t bring back memories of my past, trust me, I would probably be head over heels in love with you.”

You pause to take a deep breath and, when you turn to him, you see he’s staring at you intently. You’re quick to look away and sigh, “I’m sorry.”

There’s silence and you feel his eyes on you. He’s processing everything you’ve just said, and his eyes slowly soften as he did.

“It’s alright,” he says after a while, “I’m sorry too.”

“You shouldn’t-“

“I knew very well I annoyed you but I didn’t stop,” he explains, “That’s something I should be sorry for.”

A few seconds pass before he’s driving again, softer music filling the car at a lower volume. Your eyes are on the dark outdoors and his are on the road. The two of you may feel lighter after having confessed what you both did, but it still feels as if there’s some things left to be clarified.

“Don’t you want to ask me something?” You couldn’t take the silence anymore; the two of you needed to end this before he drops you off.

“I don’t want to pry.”

“Then let me just tell you,” you say, and you notice his eyes widen slightly. You face front and your hands come together on your lap. “My fiancé cheated on me.”

“If you’re not comfortable talking about it-“

“I went through a dark time because of it, but I can talk about it just fine.”

Jackson listens as you narrate your struggles of getting over the misfortune, the things you’ve done and the things you had wanted to do. He doesn’t say a word and keeps on driving, but you notice the facial expressions for the right emotions at some parts of your story. By the time you finished, he was driving through familiar streets.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he whispers, “and I’m sorry for being a reminder of that.”

“It’s not your fault,” you tell him, “I was the one who approached you.”

The two of you are quiet again, and he pulls up in front of your house a few minutes later. Neither of you move.

“I had fun tonight,” he says lightly and, if anyone else were to hear that, they’d think the two of you went on a lovely date, when it was anything but that.

“What happens to us now?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs and faces you, “I’ll leave that decision up to you.”

You’ve dreamed about reaching this point, this moment where Jackson Wang would finally stop annoying the life out of you, and you’ve always thought it would be so easy to tell him to back off. Now, however, you weren’t quite sure. “What do you want to happen?”

“I want to become friends,” he says immediately, “but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

You take a good look at him, styled hair slightly messy and wide eyes glimmering in the dark, and you realize the sight of him doesn’t irritate you as much anymore. Maybe it was because you’ve shared your story, your burden, with him that made him tolerable to look at.

Instead of a reminder of your pain and regrets, he looks more like a friend now, ready to help you and make you better again.

So you decide to go with his idea, and you didn’t even think it was possible for his eyes to light up even more. Even in the dark, you could still see how his face fills with glee, and the sight doesn’t piss you off as much as it did before.

“We start tomorrow then,” he says, “Forget about me when you sleep and we’ll start anew tomorrow, yeah?”

You just nod. “Thanks for the ride,” you pause and then think to add, “stranger!”

He chuckles as you get off his car, and it’s pleasant to hear this time.

Perhaps the two of you are meant to be, even if it’s in this way. Maybe fate has more in store for the two of you, but that’s in the future. It’s like the universe presented you with Jackson and gave you two choices: yes or yes.

And you chose yes.

p r e v i o u s

#lit rally a MESS luvs #this annoyed me sm bc i already dont write much for jackson nd i pull this SHIT??#idk man hope yall like it #got7 #got7 angst #got7 scenarios #jackson wang #jackson wang scenarios #jackson wang angst #yes or yes #got7 jackson #got7 jackson angst #got7 jackson scenarios #the problem with the dash i still dont know im so sad

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