Scenario where Miles gets really injured during the final fight with the Spot and his costume is damaged and you can see his face. His mother, his still living father see his face and rush to his side thinking their baby had died. He is of course gonna make it but they don’t know that and the first thing he does is apologize for lying and not telling them cause “I didn’t want you guys to be disappointed.” Before passing out. And they just hold him begging not Spider-man to get back up but their little boy who was supposed to be going to those great big places.
Now picture Miguel watching. Watching someone else’s world fall apart and he’s pushed back into that place of cradling his scared and confused daughter the same way Rio is her son. The only difference is the pained sobs of a mother who outlived her child compared to that of his silence disbelief and grief. The statuesque pose Jefferson is stuck in exactly like his was, as if he didn’t move the moment in time would freeze and he’d another second left with his son.
And all Miguel thinks as he become the reason a world has crumbled again is “What have I done?”
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I’m just here trying to sleep after a long week (I know it’s only Wednesday but I am stressed and I wanted to quit my job on Monday so it’s a long week) and I’m thinking about Dustin’s birthday. Specifically his seventeenth. And maybe it’s not on the exact day, but around there, and it hits him out of nowhere
He’s the same age Steve was when a bunch of kids were shoved at him and he was told to keep them safe. He’s the same age Steve was when he almost died doing that multiple times on the same night. He’s the same age Steve was and he doesn’t think he’s even remotely prepared to handle a group of kids and doesn’t think he could have been brave enough to fight a bunch of demodogs or billy when he was spitting mad and then gotten up and gone into the tunnels afterwards.
And he looks at Steve now, more mellow, softer around the edges, with friends his own age and his bitching far more playful and affectionate with them, with his glasses and his failing hearing and sometimes anger because of those things but no regrets.
He looks at him and wants to cry because he doesn’t know how Steve did it. He doesn’t know how Steve was so brave and strong then when he was arguably still sort of an asshole and didn’t even know them aside from knowing who they were. Because that night was the first night they’d even spoken, but Steve had jumped right back in despite how they all knew he’d tried to pretend it never happened.
He looks at his brother and doesn’t understand how he’d so easily been there for them back then because trying to imagine himself in his place it just makes him feel overwhelming panic.
Because that’s when it hits
Steve was a kid too. He was just a kid, but he’d seemed like an adult to him, had carried himself with the confidence of adulthood even when Dustin knew now that it was bravado.
He thinks about the year before, when Steve had fought his first monster and been even younger. And maybe he wasn’t the youngest, that was Erica’s privilege, but he’d still been a kid and they’d all forgotten that because it was Steve, who took on the mantle of protector and carried it like a badge of honor even now.
And he hugs him, of course he does, and when they talk, they both cry a little, because Steve can finally admit how he’d felt back then, how he’d felt so out of his depth but didn’t want the kids to see his fear because he needed to be brave
Just lots of sappy thoughts about childhood and loss and moving on knowing that you were allowed to be scared when you thought you couldn’t
KAT YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW. I'M SCREAMING AND CRYING! I'm gonna lose my MIND. I'm gonna climb the WALLS. I'm gonna FLY into the SUN! this is SO IMPORTANT to me now, I'm never going to not think about this, this is critical to their relationship now and I'm never going to see it any other way.
if you write it, I'll podfic it. I swear, this just flipped some switch in my brain, I'm obsessed.
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ok so I post excessively about the wizard now but like hey: thesis statement
i find it telling that despite being a former arch-mage, and despite the whole mystra ordeal, and everything, the main "good old days" memories that gale has to share with the player are all from the distant past- mostly revolving around his childhood or time as a student. you'd think a man with his kind of experience and practice would have more interesting, more recent stories to tell, right? surely an arch-mage does interesting shit?
but he doesn't, and he didn't, because his life entirely and utterly revolved around mystra. his work? finding that piece of karsite weave to return to her, for a multitude of reasons. the overwhelming desire to prove himself to her. the want to be her equal. everything and anything else that possessed him to pursue that book. his relationships? what relationships? his friendship with Tara, or his relationship to mystra herself? there wasn't anything else, he tells you as much- no friends, no lingering names asides from elminster (another one of mystra's chosen) and just vague "coworkers". as far as we know there was literally nothing going on in this motherfuckers life asides from mystra-related stuff for who knows how long.
so instead of impressive tales of long-lost tomes he discovered, projects of his own that he dedicated time to, anything else you'd expect from a fucking insaneo-wizard who can make life-sized interactive illusions at the drop of a hat: you get nothing but a gaping hole of "this is when the accident happened" and the glimmer of a few good memories long before that time. some of the only stories from his life he seems genuinely excited and happy to tell are those childhood ones- ridiculous tales about how he summoned Tara in the first place, set shit on fire as a child, or tried to burgle an important staff as a student. those younger memories are like all he has to rely on dawg. there's nothing else there. there is literally nothing there.
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since we're talking about people pushing paternal dynamics onto tubbo. I don't think there really is a character who would fit into a paternal role for him, literally no one. If you try to force it you're only gonna make whoever you throw into the parent role an asshole because at some point every island resident has been an asshole to him. Also, you have the issue that most of the people you throw him with he has flirted with. A few examples are him, fit and pac constantly flirting and him giving pac a lap dance on the first day, all of the jokes about bad filling his hole, and hell piere literally asked to have sex with him once.
Of course, the character you see this most with is Phil. And while they consider each other family it would be fucking depressing to make phil his dad because phil often treats him like shit, looks down on him, and treats him very condescendingly at this point. Pre purgatory it was less obvious but since then and frankly since the eggs went missing while caring for each other phil often stands in opposition to tubbo and only praises or speaks positively about him when he's not around. I could see it as a one-sided relationship but it only kind of works if only tubbo sees him as a guardian and phil doesn't see him as more than a kid with destructive toys.
Also circling back around fitpac are poor choices to make tubbo's parents please the three of them have made many sexual jokes and comments to each other. Plus fit can be pretty brazen and cold to tubbo even hitting and knocking him down which are actions he would never do to his son so once more it makes a character way more cruel and a asshole.
Not to mention how much of this is grounded in ableism that as someone with dyslexia and adhd it's very infantilizing
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The more I roll it around like a piece of candy, the more I think that the reason for the coaches putting ‘Jamie’ down as ‘Jamie’ was…. as simple as letting Jamie be Jamie.
They’ve had their eyes opened lately about a lot of things lately- one of which was Ted’s belated realization about Zava, and his small acknowledgment that Jamie made the right call about that guy. When he originally brought them his concerns, their dismissal of him was partly rooted in the image they had of Old Jamie.
Which again is one of those things where we, the audience, saw much more of his changing than they did. Not only do we know that he’s not Old Jamie, we also understand that Old Jamie wasn’t really Old Jamie - it’s only ever been Rough Draft Jamie, who has a lot of work left but who’s come so far, and we’re starting to see how fucking bright his future could be.
And now that’s really in front of the coaches’ faces as well. They’re starting to see how much growth there’s been, with the fall out from Zava, and they all know he’s been doing extra training with Roy.
I think they started writing down names, got to Jamie’s, and then just…. Didn’t want him to feel like he was being Zava’d again.
He’s a good kid - for fucks sake even Beard can’t help but be sentimental about him now (talented player; beautiful dumb dumb) - and in their hearts, well? Of course he’s their striker. And no, they’re not worried he’s gonna be a Precious Moments figurine anymore - not in a fragile way at least. Just in a precious and special sort of way.
So what do they do? They give him a signal, this time a note, and tell Jamie to just be Jamie. That’s it’s okay if Jamie is just Jamie. Because this may be a new strategy they’re testing out, but that fact will always be true. They just want Jamie to be Jamie. There’s no problem with that anymore. It’s a perfectly good thing to be. And they’re here to support that now.
“That’s not a mistake. We just figured you’d wanna keep doing what you do best for us. Playing striker and scoring goals, right?”
It’s an olive branch. They thought about what Jamie might want, and they’re willing to offer it to him. No questions asked. Well, one question asked:
“Right?”
Because this is Ted we’re talking about. And just like the quote about leaving room for God, Ted is always going to leave room for people to grow. He is a Coach after all. So he leaves that door cracked open for Jamie. He may not be sure what Jamie’s going to do with it, but he’s gonna leave it open all the same. He believes in Jamie Tartt.
And Jamie takes that in stride, with a sweet befuddled smile at this sudden show of acceptance, and a weird tension in his eyes because he’s beginning to wonder ‘but what if I could be more?’
And by the end, when they’re all crowded around a whiteboard, listening to this kid crack the code on the whole shebang - the strategy, the team dynamics, where every player’s strength is gonna come together and help them win - that’s the real pay off. That’s Beard finally looking at Jamie with the full force of his analytical intellect and having approval in his eyes. That’s Roy, neither surprised nor knowing, giving him the nod like ‘you’re onto something here, keep going’, completely willing to listen.
And Ted. Ted. Ted’s face kills me here. Because he is so quietly, deeply stunned that he looks like he’s wearing his entire soul on his face.
This why you leave the door cracked open. You may not know what’s going to come through if you do - and what shows itself may be beyond your wildest dreams.
You’ve outdone yourself, Coach Lasso.
Jamie Tartt is going to be your trophy one day, mark my words. And he’s already the Son Shaped Trophy of your Coach Shaped Heart.
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