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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

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Daily Log 5

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Not much, I had to run errands most of the day and also felt incredibly tired, probably because the cats woke me up like 4 times last night begging for food and things. Overly warm and headachey a lot.

I planted a few new flowers, and pressed more flowers and clovers in my Large Sturdy Flower Pressing Book as well.

Actually worked on translating the text for the previously mentioned tapestry/painting thing. I think I've decided that it doesn't really matter very much, because nobody else even knows anything about this conlang except for me, so they won't know if it's wrong lol.. It is not entirely completed after all (complete enough to translate most simple sentences into consistently, but also there are a few spots here and there where I haven't fully worked out the way some part of speech actually functions or etc., or I wrote down one thing that later contradicts something else, so occasionally I reach a sentence that I'm not sure exactly which rule to follow to translate, and I need to do a larger comprehensive organization of the document to work out all the kinks and declare officially like 'THIS is the ONE way this is done' etc. etc.) - so because of that, I think I'll just kind of 'do my best' and if the rules now end up changing in the future as I further work on the language, then, that's fine, because nobody can read it anyway lol. Kind of like that song on my side music youtube that's sung in genuine Avirrekava lyrics but also I wrote them years ago and some of the sentences have now become outdated/invalid.

Washed and cleaned some kale so it will be dry for me to maybe make silly kale chips tomorrow.

Final proofreading + posting of the poll adventure thing.

eughh,, literally nothing else.. I hate running errands because it always makes me feel drained and sick after, plus I get nothing else done all day except for just going places. I know checking my p.o. box and picking up cat food and stuff is technically still a productive action, but it just feels like.. i should be getting all of my long term projects done instead lol.. what about the videos?? or worldbuilding?? what does grocery shopping have to do with elves??!?! >:V (aside from pretending to be a group of fantasy creatures evaluating produce having an imaginary conversation with yourself at the store ghghj,, but that is not productive either lol)

Notable sights: Found 13 four leaf clovers, and 2 five leaf clovers, though one of them is almost a 6 leaf (like one of the leaves is nearly split all the way into a sort of heart shape, just not entirely). Also two of the clovers are HUGE, probably the biggest 4 leaf clovers I've ever collected, like 2 inches across maybe. The sky was very pretty a lot with big fluffy white clouds. Not a 'sight' really, but I got to sit in air conditioning for a little while today and it was very nice. I love the cold crisp kind of stale air smell, like walking into a freezer or something (which I used to do when I was a kid, I would sneak into a walk-in freezer at a school cafeteria and just sit there for a while lol), it's comforting to me.

Goals moving forward: Consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Had a bit of smoked gouda and green onions in my Mandated Completely Plain Flavorless Grits For Breakfast this morning, as a littol treat lol.. Tried a 'biscoff' ice cream bar, which is generally a flavor profile I like, but I think I would usually rather be eating a cookie than having ice cream. Also an Ensure nutritional drink, which I know most people consider gross but I genuinely like them.. maybe it's like a source of comfort when my stomach is too sick to eat, like 'oh well at least I can have this cold smooth textured chalky chocolate thing' lol.

Sort of like how I have positive conditioning to feel safe/comfortable in bathrooms (due to it usually being one of the only places you can safely retreat from a social situation or get out of crowds in public areas, etc.), even though rationally I have no particular reason to like bathrooms much, and most people dislike public bathrooms especially. Fellow public bathroom and ensure nutritional shake lovers unite! (3 of us in the entire world)

#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public #declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now..#Not sure if this is helping me be more productive #though I think it might in some ways help me appreciate things around me more. Since I'm kind of collecting 'notable' sights or smells #or things. sometimes through the day I'm looking around my environment trying to spot anything whimsical or wonderful or pleasing #I could see this excercise possiblyhelping people pick out more positives around them and appreciate small things in life more #I kind of already do that (very meticulous slow moving person who notices tiny details in everything) so I'm not sure if it's any more than #I usually would but.. eh?? maybe??#Still craving a ton of hearty foods lol my body is so so so deficient in something right now and I'm being very cool about it #I have a very high level of self control (so like am very responsible good at managing money and getting placeson time and planning and #etc. and abstaining from things if necessary (like wearing a mask and cutting out certain activities during a pandemice #or not eating something now that might hurt my stomach later etc. etc.) so It's not much of a problem but #if not... I would probably be ordering in so much random fast food and stuff or something ghh #Even before I was put on a restrictive diet by my doctors I still never ate out very much for money reasons #Usually once a month or less. this includes stuff like coffees (can be made at home cheaper) or drinks or etc.#Especially with the cost of things going up so much now I'm kind of glad I've already built in that habit #/have never known or gotten used to anything else - because if not I feel like it would be a real shock or like a struggle #I have friends that order in food for like every single meal and it's only getting more and more expensive #so I guess it's kind of releiving to not really have the prospect of that stress as much (though things in the grocery store #are still expensive too so.. even if you're cooking at home. You do save money but its STILL a strain with the current #economy). ANYWAY... maybe sometimes it is good to be miserly and poor.. if I had unlimited money and a spending habit or something #I could go through with ordering ribs and chicken wings and 5 plates of lasagna and a burrito and udon and etc. and eat it all at once #and then have such a bad stomach pains I have to go to the hospital lol #ANYWAY...#daily log

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lesbianraskolnikov · 2 years

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hmmmm i think i will compile a masterpost of art stuff that isn’t the same stuff everyone throws out at you. youtube videos and otherwise

#floyd.txt #no fucking loomis good god. im so sick of him #Drawing on the right side of the brain is also very mediocre but i might list the excercises from it.#most all of the writing is pretty. Pseudoscience lol but the excercises in it are honestly not bad #There are so many good sources not talked about enough though I want to compile a good variety #I don't think ill have a lot of proko either. so far theres one video from the channel but he doesnt even host it but i found it good.

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myhomeisthenight · 2 years

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tw for slight cursing, caps and mentions of chest dysphoria and chests in general

oh shit ive got no battery

ive been trying to excercise but motivation has been pretty slow lately.

but i'm going to get a smaller chest y'all!!!!! no matter what i say in my head!!!!

i didn't even think it was possible to get a smaller chest without surgery and it makes me so happy that i can get rid of them!!! WOO!

#cursing tw #tw cursing #tw dysphoria #tw chest dysphoria #tw caps #positivity!!!!!!#self care #i used to excercise at the beginning of my gender journey but i stopped once i had #like really bad dysphoria #but im glad im getting back at it #cuz even though it feels like im not doing anything it makes me feel good!!!!#ahhh #also sorry for just being... gone? for a month or so #i got too nervous to make any posts like this #like do people care?#but i shouldn't care about that!!!

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upthebluess · 5 months

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Opportunities (Arsenal WFC x Teen Reader) P2

In which you get invited back to first team training and really start to feel at home there.

(Part 1 already on my page 🫶)

“Did you score?”

“Were they all nice?”

“Did Katie foul you?”

Questions flooded in from your U16 teammates as you all sat in the gym, doing more talking than excercise.

“Yes, yes and yes” you responded all at once with a grin on your face.

It was early Thursday morning that you found out you’d been invited to train with the first team again, and it was Thursday morning you got to tell your teammates the good news.

“Did you find it really hard?” Another question piled on.

“At first it seemed hard, but once you got into it then it was fine. They train at such a high intensity though I was dying by the end” you answered once again before being interrupted.

“Girls, less talking more lifting!” Your coach called out from the opposite side of the room, having picked his head up from his tactics whiteboard for a moment to notice the lack of sweat dripping from your faces.

A rumble of apologies echoed from throughout the room as each player got on their elected machine and began to work. You however, were on recovery. Your coach said he wasn’t willing to risk any form of muscle strain before you trained.

Mindlessly, you rolled your legs up and down the lumpy cylinder of foam, attempting to get as ready as possible for your session in the afternoon.

Eventually, you were all dismissed from the gym and sent to education, where you spent three torturous hours leaning about the values of nutrition from the head chef. You did get to make smoothies at the end though, which was a bonus.

After that had passed, it was lunchtime. You ate with all your friends at the biggest table before it was time for you to split up.

Most of the girls went to the dome for their indoor training session, and a small few had to go to physio to help re-strengthen some injuries they’d obtained. You joined neither of them.

You and the youth development coach, Dianne, made your way down a few corridors until you made your way outside to the first teams pitches.

Only a few girls were out when you arrived, all laughing and kicking the ball in a rondo. You took this time to sling your backpack from your shoulders onto the grass and pull out your boots.

You slipped your trainers off and boots on, and placed your shin pads under your socks before pulling your joggers back over.

Dianne walked back over to you, “Ok Jonas said that it’s just quick little drills today and then they’re going inside for a wellness session that they’re happy for you to join. You’ll be done by 4:30”, she finished with a smile.

“Alright thank you” you retorted as you dusted the grass off your legs that had evidently just been cut.

“Told you that you’d be back!!” You felt someone pat you twice on the head, and as you turned around you saw Beth walk past you and onto the pitch with Lia, smiles on both their faces.

Just like the day before, you were split into warm up groups and were instructed to move throughout the cones, stretching various muscles in the body. Katie was in your group today though, and took this time to apologise to you for getting a bit too competitive in yesterdays mini tournament.

“You won’t be able to push her around like that for long Macca, she sent you to the shops a couple of times yesterday” Alessia joined in with your playful banter.

“I know I know, she’s a proper little baller, speedy too. What national team do you for again?”

Although your nerves hadn’t completely subsided yet, you felt comfortable enough now to speak freely amongst the girls.

“I play for England U17s currently, but I’m eligible to play for Norway too through my grandparents.” You had finished with your warm up now, and were all told to pick up the cones and re arrange them to play some 2 v 2s.

“Ah shame. You 100% sure you’re not Irish?” Katie winked as she placed the final cone down.

You were in a pair with Lotte, which you enjoyed. She was more of a physical player so it allowed you to show the technical side to your game a lot more.

That was what you were good at. Getting the ball at your feet and manipulating it until you made your way through a bundle of players. It was evident from the start that you were unable to shove players off the ball, but you were more than capable of using your other qualities to do so.

You both won a decent majority of your battles, only losing to Viv and Leah, which you actually thought was an unfair paring.

The goals were only about a metre wide and 3 feet tall in such small duels, but you had definitely managed to bag yourself at least ten and a couple of assists to Lotte.

The training went on to consist of shooting drills and set pieces, before finishing off with games of foot tennis. Having never played foot tennis before, you had to admit it wasn’t your strong suit. But you and Alessia were just as helpless as each other, which you both found unusually hilarious, so it was ok.

Jonas began to wrap training up “Good work today, everyone. I wish you all luck on your international breaks. I expect you now to all go to the wellness department and watch the videos that have been designed to help you cope with busy schedules and stress. After that, you’re free to go. I’ll see you all in a week. Look after yourselves. Big games ahead.” He dismissed you all and went round giving hand shakes and pats on the back to every person on the field.

“Y/N, are you coming with?” Cloe asked as she gave you a high five, she had been a lot more conserved than you’d expected her to be, so far anyway.

“Yeah, I think so. I’ve got some boring nutrition work to do” you replied, switching your footwear again back into trainers.

“Ahh I remember doing that when I was your age. Did you get to make smoothies too?” Lotte joined in.

You laughed in surprise, “yeah, that was pretty much the only fun thing about it.”

Lotte and Leah exchanged a knowing look, having been through the academy themselves.

“Oh by the way, where actually is the wellness department?” you realised how little you actually knew your way around the first team building.

“I’ll show you, kid. Come on” Katie tapped you on the shoulder and referenced for you to walk with her. “How long you been at arsenal then?”

“I’ve been an arsenal fan since I was born but I joined at pre academy U7s, been here ever since” you answered. You couldn’t believe you were having a casual conversation with first team players, as if they were your own teammates.

“Ah born a gunner, sounds like a certain blonde I know. Oi Williamson!” She called out to Leah in front of you.

“What?” She turned around, her thick black headband covering half of her forehead.

“You got some future captain competition here. Been a gunner since 7, that’s 3 whole years before you!” Katie joked.

“I have to actually make it pro first” you added in.

“Oh yeah, I forget you’ve not yet. You will, keep working at this rate and you’ll be stealing game time from me”

You noted how Katie easily found the perfect balance between sarcasm and encouragement. She was a lot nicer than she appeared on the pitch.

The rest of the afternoon was spent sitting in a large room filled with laughter and taylor swift music. Of course, you hadn’t fully fitted in yet, but you were close. Closer than you had anticipated you would be at this stage.

As 4:30pm came around, the December weather was taking its toll and rain was pouring down.

“Jeez look at the rain” Jen exclaimed, looking up from her doodles that she’d drawn rather than finishing her fitness schedule.

Lots of different remarks came from Jen’s comment, but only yours caught the ear of Beth.

“Great, the one day I have to walk home” you had mumbled under your breath. Both your parents were working at that time because they hadn’t yet adjusted to your new training schedule with the team.

“Your walking? In this?” Beth asked a little too loud, it drew more attention to you than you liked.

“Yeah, it’s not far though I’ll be ok,” you gave a dismissive nod as you glanced outside again, convincing yourself more than her.

“No you wont, me and Viv will give you a lift. Where do you live?”

“Uh, Anderson Avenue, the one near the park. But really, you don’t have to” you were dumbfounded. Beth Mead was offering you a lift home, as if you were friends. Maybe you were.

“Don’t be silly, it’s on our way home. If your comfortable listening to another ten minutes of Taylor Swift that is.”

“Honestly it’s no trouble” Viv accompanied.

“If you’re sure?” You we’re reluctant to accept their generous offer but you certainly didn’t fancy central London in the dark, on your own, as a 15 year old girl.

As you lay in bed that night, completely dry thanks to the Meadema’s mercedes, you contemplated what a day you’d just had. You made Alessia Russo practically cry of laughter, you nutmegged Mccabe twice and drove home with two of Arsenal’s finest forwards.

Although you were slightly let down that you now had to wait a week to train again, you reminded yourself that simply gave you more time to progress and impress your own coaches.

You tried not to let your mind get ahead of yourself, but you couldn’t forget what Katie had said earlier:

“You’ll be stealing minutes from me”

Did that mean she thought you’d be offered your pro contract soon? Surely not? At 15?

Time will tell.

#arsenal wfc x reader #arsenal wfc #katie mccabe #alessia russo #leah williamson #beth mead #vivianne miedema #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso community #woso fanfics #women’s football

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winter2468 · 3 months

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How good are they at drag? - Baldur's Gate Characters

Gale: Waterdeep canonically has its own drag subculture, so he'd know the most about it, and his time working on the somatic components of spells means he can vogue at the speed of lightning. But while the spirit and the hands may be willing, the knees are weak. A single death drop would kill this man. I feel that he'd play to his strengths because he knows his bad back and creaky knees can't keep up with anything too vigorous, so while he'd put together something fun and visually impressive, it isn't a very athletic routine.

Karlach: Oh, she'd have so much fun. She likes dancing and Samantha Beart played her as a little Gender, so you'd end up with a fun and happy drag king persona who's having such a good time.

Astarion: He's dexterous, theatrical, and a dab hand with a needle. The costume is flawless. The routine is daring. Not much makeup because he can't see himself in a mirror, but honestly he doesn't need it. He'd act like it's all just a pointless excercise, but he'd get competitive with it. After the performance he gets a lot of compliments and realises that he enjoyed it a lot more than he thought he would.

Lae'zel: Gith genders work differently, so I don't think she'd 'get' it. That being said, she'd make a very hot drag king, so she'd have a successful routine if she just got up on stage and threw knives at things, and not even in time to the music.

Wyll: Canonically a dancer - and a dancer with excellent stamina. Routine practiced to perfection. He could perform it in his sleep. Having so much fun. I think he'd pick out a great song to do the performance to, as well.

Shadowheart: I'm open to having my mind changed about this, but I don't think she'd be good at it. She'd have some fun though. Support bad drag!

Halsin: I'm sorry king but I've seen your dance moves at the afterparty.

Minthara: At first, she flat-out refuses. Why would she ever want to pretend to be a man? Minthara thinks men suck. But if you could talk her into it you'd actually end up with a very funny routine as she puts on the persona of a weak and scared drow man, fluttering about the stage.

Jaheira: I have no evidence for this, but I think she'd be good at it. Gets up on stage, acts like a grade A DILF for the duration of one song, gets off the stage, says it was fun later in a very matter-of-fact way. Embarrases her kids.

Minsc and Boo: Minsc tears off his wig midway through the performance, revealing Boo underneath.

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lynnlovesthestars · 7 months

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Hi! I’m new to your blog and have been loving all of your works!

If you’re comfortable with it, I was wondering how you think Astarion would react/feel about a virgin tav/reader who went through SA when they were younger, and wish to wait until they are both completely ready and comfortable with being intimate?

Hii, I can definitely do it, though i will merge it with another ask I received- asking to write hcs about Astarion learning Tav is a survivor.

I will say, making it with the hc has been a little easier on me, usually when i write about SA i spend an insane amount of time making sure i'm comfortable and you (readers) are as well, and i hesitate a lot before publishing it *(queue up scars and blood, that I wrote on an impulse after a nightmare, and it took me a solid week before publishing it)*

ANYWAYS.

ofc I hope this will be of comfort to you, and it won't trigger you.. sometimes all we want is to find solace into our favourite characters, so i wish tonight this will in a way comfort you...

and if anyone needs to vent, or talk, feel free to hit up my dm's, they are a safe space for anyone and i'll always offer up comfort.. we don't need to struggle alone, and sometimes being heard is what we need to make a new step forward<3

As always, my little stars, excercise kindness! we don't know who's gonna pass by this, and we don't know how hard it can be for them.

This being said, I hope you'll like it!

Headcanon: Astarion learning Tav is a survivor.

Pairing: Astarion x reader. Warnings: mentions of past trauma and SA. wc: 1.7k

-He starts suspecting something about it around the time of the tiefling party. He had offered to sneak out while everyone was asleep to "enjoy yourselves", but you refused right away. He definitely picked up some involuntary movement you did that told him there was more to the "I'm not ready". You probably flinched or jerked away, usually it would go unnoticed, but Astarion could recognize the subtle harshness hidden behind your reaction.

-He doesn't want to pry into it, as much as he needed to know as much as possible about you- he says for the sake of his undead skin- he wasn't entirely confident you trusted him enough to share your past. Also he wasn't sure he could handle someone confiding in him, but he would never admit it. At the end of the day, all he knew about social interaction were faint memories of his magistrate life, or means to survival. He simply wasn't sure he could have the empathy to deal with someone else's emotions, both in good and in bad.

-When you meet the gur, and you start peering into his past, he can't hide the very obvious rock in the shoe, Cazador and his spawn life, and it is because of the gur that you actually open up to him. When he starts going deeper and deeper into Cazador's orders to him and his repulsion towards sex, you do feel like you can share something so intimate, that's been heavy on you, well since it happened.

-The first time you mention it though, you are very blunt.

-"And honestly I don't know anything else besides disgust for it" He'd admit as he bit the inside of his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Astarion" You'd start, you wanted to hold his hand to comfort him, cause that kind of pain you knew. "I understand how you feel though. If you need—" He cut you short, anger was bubbling quickly in his stomach. You swore his face almost reddened in anger as he raised his voice.

"No, you don't" He was one sound shirt from hissing at you. "You cannot understand what it feels like" He'd sneer at you. "No one can understand what it feels like to be stripped of your bodily autonomy". In a way the harshness in his voice was like a slap to your face, cause you did in fact know. From the other, you didn't expect your brain to beeline directly towards that sealed drawer in your brain where you tried to hide the haunting memory.

“I went through it myself, you shithead” You got up, uncaring of whatever reaction he could have in that moment, and you just left.

-He was taken aback, on different levels, both because of your sudden shift in mood, because of the blunt reveal, and deep down because he was sorry, though again he’d never admit it out loud.

-You ignored him for the rest of the day, avoiding his stare and disappearing in your tent right after you were done setting camp, and that unsettled him so much that he was weighing the possibility of apologizing cause, of course, he didn’t know.

-You skipped dinner, and even when everyone else was asleep, you didn’t come out from your tent to take your usual nightly walk. The pang of guilt was becoming more like a stab as he saw the light in your tent still burning, and the faint shadow of you moving around restless.

-He prepared a peace offering, a bowl of the leftover stew, as he had to muster the guts to apologize.

-”Sorry, I was an asshole earlier, I brought you food” He blurted out right after he knocked on the wooden support of the tent, and he was surprised when you still let him in.

-Initially it was awkward, cause you were eating and not saying anything, but after a while he mustered up the courage to offer his shoulder to you. “If you even wish to talk” He’d say.

-You told him a bit of what happened, without going too much into detail, since you were still shaken from the memories that resurfaced.

-Since then he started to learn your boundaries: how to catch your attention without startling you, what were triggering topics for you, how you liked physical touch, and how it triggered you as well.

-In a way he becomes very protective of you, especially if you open up more often about your trauma, and you can see it.

-He made sure everyone respected your boundaries, whether it was Gale with his weave thing pulling you too close, or a stranger breathing on your neck, he was always ready to remind them of their place.

-”Don’t you see our dear captain doesn't want to be that close?!” “Keep your hands to yourself, they don't like being grabbed by the wrists” “Get away from her, before I stab you”

-He noticed how you always double checked the perimeter of the camp before the sun would set, and before getting in your tent you’d always look around in the distance, trying to spot if something was out of place. So he joined you in your routine, helping you check around and make sure you were ready in case anything could have happened.

-As you get closer, and you both open up more to each other, he even suggests he moves his tent closer to yours. “I can keep an eye around” Was his explanation, when he first brought it up.

-And it helped so much with your sleep, you felt a little safer.

-If you didn’t feel safe at night, he’d suggest putting your tents together into one. Maybe it was a way to keep you closer, or he needed reassurance, but he made sure you knew you could place your bedroll anywhere as far or as close to him as you liked.

-Eventually as your bond would deepen and deepen, and you’d grow fond of each other, you found yourselves rediscovering your touch together. It started with your fingers tapping on his arm as you were walking, or a strand of your hair being pulled behind your ear. Some nights you’d sit close in your tent, and would hold hands, caress each other’s cheeks, and slowly even reach out for a kiss or two.

-It was a slow process, where you really got to know each other like no one else ever did. You could read each other like a book, yet you never shied away from asking each other for consent for anything.

-”Can I hold your hand” “Can I kiss your cheek” “Can I rest my head on your chest”

-The thing you both struggled with the most, was falling asleep holding each other. You’d panic very quickly when you would feel your chest becoming tighter. He’d move away as quickly as possible, and give you the space you needed.

-When he confesses he has been falling for you, it’s time to approach the very delicate topic of sex. You opened up about the fact that you wanted to wait ‘till you were ready, and he agreed without hesitation. Of course because he understood where you came from, he never asked for any help either, if he’d feel like he needed some release, he’d disappear for a bit and deal with it himself, without making you feel like a burden.

“I just want to make sure we are on the same page on this” You’d say as you crossed your arms, almost as if you wanted to fold yourself in and away. “If you want to have sex, I can’t right now” You’d start saying, but stop on your tracks for a second. “Wait, not that I can’t. I don’t want to have sex at the moment” You’d correct yourself, confident in your statement, he wasn’t even thinking about it, though he respected completely.

“I get it, and it’s okay my love” He’d say, patting your shoulder, and wondering whether he wanted to hold your hand or kiss it, he wanted to let you know he truly understood. “I don’t want to either” He smiled, and in that moment it was like both you two finally breathed. You’d reach for his hand to hold it in yours.

“It’s not because of you though” You wanted to explain to him, you were so close it was something you were ready to share, especially since you were slowly walking towards a different level of intimacy together, he had to know. “I want to do it when we are both ready”

“I understand, my sweet, there’s no need for explanations” He’d smile again, one of his fangs slightly poked out against his lip. “You said you don’t want sex yet, so it’s no”

“I’m a virgin” You’d blurt out, and that was something he didn’t entirely expect.

“Oh” He’d say at first, but as he noticed your cheeks slowly warming up, he pulled you closer to him, his forehead against yours. “It’s okay, I don’t care about it” He’d exhale. “As long as it’s you, I don’t care about anything”

-When you reach Baldur’s Gate and finally you settle in the elfsong tavern, you made sure you always had a corner of time dedicated to helping each other relearn touch.

-You'd lay next to each other in different levels of nakedness depending on how you felt at the moment, and you'd spend your time tracing each other's features. Whenever you'd feel comfortable enough to venture into a new thing, he'd ask for permission.

-"Would you feel comfortable if I touched your hips?" "Can I trace your scars with my fingers?” “May I pull you closer?”

-You didn't fight time, you didn't rush towards sex. It came slowly and it was a process full of ups and downs. Some attempts ended up with you both sobbing, too overwhelmed. Other's ended up with panic attacks. Eventually though, after a lot of work together, you reached a point where you'd be able to make love.

-it was a very soft moment between you two. It involved a lot of comforting, kisses and patience, but it was something so profound, it wasn't only about shared pleasure, but it was about connecting your bodies and your souls. In a way it was like a wedding for you two it was the peak of trust you could have with each other.

-He'd whisper so many times how proud he was of you, how much he loved you, and how glad he was that you were the one that would spend their life with him.

-Tears eventually arrived, they were the tears of two souls that finally had reclaimed a bit of their freedom. It was the cries of someone that was finally healing.

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serialunaliver · 9 days

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My last psychiatrist believed that excercise/diet/ drinking more water was all I needed to cure my psychotic depression. And yeah those things do help but... I still have hallucinations and am still depressed.

It was a good thing he thought that though, because I ended up developing

concerning cutoff for this ask

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luceafarul-de-dimineata · 25 days

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Zagan NSFW alphabet

This goes to my friend @katy-the-same-as-tsuki who's the biggest Zagan simp.

Aftercare

what they're like after sex

Sweet, as always. He'll help you take a shower and give you a quick massage to make sure that you didn't strain any muscle. He always carries a water bottle with him, because hydration is key, and gives it to you to drink a bit.

Body Part

their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's

He likes legs. His legs, your legs, anyone's legs. He's favorite work out excercise (other than sex with you) is running on the traidmill. He takes you out to gym dates where you both run together. He enjoys how the motion of running looks like, on him or you. If you squeeze him between your thighs, he will cum instantly.

Cum

anything to do with cum, basically

He's very scared of cumming inside because Astaroth told him way too many stories of unplanned human pregnancies. Even if he's fucking your ass or you're giving him a blowjob he'll pull out and cum on your back or face.

Dirty secret

pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs

He wants to get stepped on so much but he's too shy to say it out loud. Just, the thought alone of seing you from above as you put pressure on his chest or his back turns him on to an emberassing degree.

Experience

how experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?

He has had his fair share of sex. Of course, Solomon, duh, but I think he also did it with Paimon. I have no explination, I just feel it in my balls. Maybe Paimon got really interested in Zagan's charms since they're kind of stickers and Zagan showed him how he does it. And long story short, at some point they fuck. Like all good friends do.

He only had sex with people that took the lead and told him how to do it (or fucked him, let's be honest) so he still needs guidence during sex for at least the first few times.

Favorite position

this goes without saying

He likes to top since he enjoys moving. Anything where he has to move is fine by him, though he does prefere changing positions every so often. It's not good to only work one set of muscles.

Goofy

are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous?

Once he opens up to you, he starts being more goofy in the moment. Maybe cracking a few jokes here and there or booping your nose during aftercare. His laugh is deep yet so adorable, you get cuteness aggression from it. If you make a joke during sex, he'll stop and laugh before slowly picking up pace. He can be serious as well, don't get me wrong, but having someone he can be more open to is also nice.

Hair

how well groomed are they?

He trims himself, but doesn't wax. If the hair was too long it would itch and if it was too short his skin would become irritated from sweat and running, so trimming it is. He's quite stubborn about this so even if you asked him to wax he wouldn't.

Intimacy

how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect

He's sweet and once he gets to know you better, he likes to leave small butterfly kisses all over your face. Before sex, he likes to first slowly strip off your clothes and he let's you do the same for him. He kisses every inch of skin he can while caressing your cheek and staring in your eyes lovingly. He's still shy, but he likes being romantic in the moment.

Jack Off

masturbation headcanons

When he unexpectingly gets a boner, he slowly retreats into his room. He closes all windows, doors, covers every nook and cranny to make sure nobody can see him jerk off. He fucks his hand and he's very rough because he wants to have it done and over with as soon as possible. Once he's done he cleans everything off and runs back outside like nothing happened.

Kink

one or more of their kinks

Praise kink, Dom/sub dynamic and masochism. He gets very mushy if you praise him. He likes knowing that he's serving you well. He likes subbing most of the time because he enjoys getting ordered around and being told/shown what to do. He, like everyone in Gehenna, likes getting hit. He can endure a lot, so don't hold back.

Location

favorite place to do the do

Always inside. He's too shy to try and do it somewhere where he could get caught. His favorite is inside the room you summon during the H-scenes. It's a lot better since nobody can get in.

Motivation

what turns them on, gets them going

Seeing you at the gym would instantly give him a boner. Especially if you're wearing short clothes. He'll probably try to keep it together until he finally snaps and rubs your arm to get your attention. He has a problem and he thinks you could solve it. He won't force anything on you, but at least let him take a photo to masturbate to.

Something they wouldn't do, turn offs

He's not into domming that much. He feels very uncomfortable being put in a possition of power and he'd much rather you tell him what to do and how than the other way around. He's also against getting tied up. The main thing he likes about sex in general is the movement, and if he's tied up that kind of ruins the fun.

Oral

preference in giving or recieving, skills, etc.

He'd much rather give. He likes serving and being ordered around, so having your thighs wrapped around his head and using his horns for support as you hump his face is his own version of paradise.

If you tried to suck him off, he would, at first, try to push you away. Yet he won't you if you persist. He get really mushy while being given head.

Pace

are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?

He's the one setting the pace more often than not. It depends on his mood that day, but he usually starts of slow so you two can both adjust to the feeling before picking up pace. If you tell him to slow down or move faster, he'll oblige. He's very considerent of your comfort so he doesn't want to overwhelm or underwhelm you.

Quickie

their opinions on quickies, how often

He wouldn't do them unless you asked him to. I mean, of course, if you almost fainted from lack of devil energy, he'll find a dark corner and do it there, your life is more important than his anxieties. But he wouldn't go out of his way to have them either.

Risk

are they willing to experiment? Do they take risks?

He is willing to experiment as much as possible. He's very flexible both in body and mentality. He might be shy at first, but he'll get into it quickly. Just tell him before hand. He would feel very confused if, in the middle of sex, you started calling him "daddy". He's not against it per say, whatever makes you happy, just tell him so he isn't caught off guard by it.

Stamina

how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?

He has infinite stamina, but each round is quite short. It's not his foult that you're so pretty and so tight and you tease him so much he just can't last for long with so much stimulation. He'll go for as many rounds as you can, because he doesn't want you to wake up sore all over, but each turn lasts about 3-4 minutes.

Toys

do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partener or themselves

He doesn't own toys, but once his partner introduces him to them, he'll constantly ask to use them. On himself, mostly. His favorite is a butt plug with a bunny tail attached to it. He might ask you if he can keep it.

Unfair

how much they like to tease

Not that much. He would rather be teased by you. He would at most show off his shooting abilities when he notices you staring, but nothing more. You have an important job to do and he can't be the reason you get distracted. Go save the world and than you can ogle at him as much as you'd like.

Volume

how loud are they? What sounds do they make?

He's very quiet only occasionally letting out chocked moans and groans. If you tease him, he'll whimper and if you don't let him cum he'll whine. He's non-verbal, but he will thank you for the oportunity once you're done for the night.

Wildcard

a random headcanon for the character

Once Satan kicked him so hard that he came on the spot and now he's constantly trying to annoy Satan enough he does it again.

Yearning

how high is their sex drive

When he's with you, he does tend to get flustered and think about more impure thoughts, but he can focus if need be. Sex once every two weeks or something along those lines is enough for him.

Zzz

how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

It's very unlikely that your human stamina will outlast his, and even then he's careful not to fall asleep before you. He needs to protect you, and he can't do that if he falls asleep too swiftly. Also, he sleeps with his eyelids half opened (like a rabbit) and he doesn't want to freak you out with that.

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb zagan #whb smut #no x ray because I'm a virgin #blame romania for this

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corruptedcaps · 6 months

Text

The Mean Manual

“64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69…. Done!” Charlotte groaned as she finished her 10th straight day of her bust exercises. She stretched out her remarkably flexible body and looked lovingly at her big tits. She almost couldn’t believe that two weeks ago she had the body of a flabby no chested geek but that was before she found, the book.

Back then she was know as Charlie, a girl so anonymous you could ask her classmates what she was like and they would reply with, “Who?”

Charlie wasn’t noticeable enough to be bullied, didn’t stand out enough to be noticed, a quiet solitude she had grown to accept. She would spend her free time in the school library, reading her fantasy and sci-fi books away from the crowds.

However that changed when she found, hidden behind several books in the reference section, the ‘Mean Manual’. Its cover was a bright pink that almost glowed amongst the drab covers it surrounded that made it hard for Charlie to ignore.

Pulling it out she blew away the dust that had accumulated over years maybe even decades of neglect. Charlie opened the tome and curiously flipped through its pages. It seemed to be some sort of guide to becoming the ‘Queen of Mean’.

Charlie chuckled to herself as she skimmed its pages, realizing it had to be some sort of parody book. How could it not be with chapters like ‘Spreading lies to get your way’ and ‘The 10 ways to steal a man’. It was laughable to her that anyone would take the instructions as gospel.

Amused by it, she decided to take it home and read some more. It was there that she came across the chapter on ‘beauty exercises’. There was sections on toning your stomach, getting the perfect tan, how to make your body more supple, but what weirdly interested Charlie was the section on breast growth.

As the other girls in school had all hit puberty and grew reasonable and sometimes outrageously sized tits, Charlie had lagged behind, growing no more than an ‘A’ cup. It wasn’t something Charlie ever cared about, most people didn’t notice her anyway, and yet she found herself reading the instructions on how to increase her boob size intently.

“I’ll give it a try, just as a joke of course.” She said to herself with a half hearted laugh as she readied her body. The excercise involved getting on her knees and pushing out her chest 69 times, which seemed intuitive enough if a little juvenile but what was odd was she had to moan each time she did it. She felt a little silly as she began.

However with thrust of her chest her moans got a little louder, a little more genuine. It felt good sticking out her chest again and again, it felt as though her whole body was getting a workout. She couldn’t help imagine how good it would be to have the perfect tight body with perfect round tits, she found herself getting wet with each shove of her chest. She went into a near trance as she went on and before she knew it she hit 69 thrusts.

She panted in pleasurable exhaustion as she shakily got back to her feet, feeling warm and wet between her legs. She stumbled over to the mirror and gasped loudly at the sight. Her meagre breasts were gone, replaced with impressively big tits.

“No freaking way!” She said as she turned each way to make sure it wasn’t some mirror illusion but there was no denying it, her boobs were bigger.

She eyed the book out of the corner of her eye, maybe it wasn’t a joke after all, she thought. She looked at her reflection and couldn’t help wonder what she would look like with the long nails, the silky hair, the smooth skin and everything else it purported to be able to give her. She had to know.

An hour and several exercises later, Charlie was looking at a practically different woman in the mirror. Her body wouldn’t have looked out of place on a runaway, there wasn’t an ounce of imperfection anywhere now. She could bend and flex in ways that would make the Hailey the head cheerleader jealous.

A smile started to cross her lips as the idea of making a bitch like Hailey green with envy suddenly made her horny. He mind went to wicked places as she thought about doing more than making her jealous.

She imagined strutting in to school the next day, in a tight shirt outfit, all eyes on her but she would be focused on only one set of eyes. Chad, Hailey’s boyfriend, was a big block headed idiot but did anything Hailey asked. If she could seduce him, she’d have the school in the palm of her hand.

“When I seduce him.” She corrected herself with a smirk, after all no one would be able to resist her looking the way she did now. She’d take Hailey’s friends, her cheerleading position, her power. It would be so easy and fun.

She started to move her fingers down her body towards her increasingly wet pussy when she stopped herself. Something didn’t feel right, why was she thinking such cruel and nasty things?

As if to answer her, a sudden gust of wind started to flicker the pages of the book back to the opening, where ‘Queen of Mean’ was emblazoned in large letters. Charlie drank in the word ‘Queen’ again and again. It seemed to almost put her in a trance as she put her hand into her panties.

As soon as her hand made contact with her soaking wet pussy a sinister grin came across her face.

“Ohhhh fuck yes!!! More, more! I want to be a fucking bitch called Charlotte not some loser nobody called Charlie. Make me a toxic slut, make me a wicked whore, make me the Queen of Mean!” She moaned loudly as she pumped her pussy again and again, her nerdy persona getting weaker each time she did.

The book began to glow bright pink as she continued and Charlotte had an innate knowledge of what it was doing.

“Yesss take my pathetic soul, make me evil and bitchy, I’ll be hot, corrupt and unstoppable!” She moaned thrusting her chest out as if it was being pulled up. She watched in malicious joy as her soul was ripped from her body and sucked into the book. She felt free of morals and doubts as she began to cum harder and longer than ever before.

As the book slammed shut, a surge of dark energy enveloped her newfound form. Her eyes glowed for a moment a deep crimson before settling back into a cold icy blue. A wicked smile curled on her lips as the transformation completed. She reveled in the intoxicating power coursing through her veins, ready to unleash chaos upon the unsuspecting world.

“Bye bye Charlie you fucking dork nobody. No one will miss you and even remember you when I walk into school tomorrow. It’s going to feel so hawt and nasty taking everything Hailey has, in fact why wait until tomorrow.” She said to herself as she picked up her phone and snapped a sexy selfie of herself.

With an evil grin she started to text Chad: “Hey! I got your number from the school secretary. I’m, like, the new girl in school and she said you would be able to show me around and stuff? It would be totes amazing if we could do something tonight? I’m so alone xxx.” She wrote sending it along with her picture.

She smirked to herself as he quickly replied and made plans to meet up asap. Within the hour she was sucking his dick in the back of his sports car and cementing her hold on him. As soon as she had swallowed his load she dropped her cutesy bimbo act and became more demanding of him. He of course would do anything she asked now.

Now ten days later and Charlotte was the most feared and popular girl in school. Everyone knew her name now and there was no way she would ever fade into the background with her commanding presence and bitchy hot body.

She didn’t know if she needed to continue doing her stretches and exercises to maintain her evil sexiness but she did them all the same, enjoying the wave of pleasure each would give her. The book seemed to glow happily each time she did as well but she could sense it was growing hungry for more. It had opened one day on a page marked “Beta Bitches”, giving Charlotte the guidance and knowledge with what to do next.

“Hello girls, welcome to tryouts to be my new friends.” She announced to a group of nerdy girls who had all been lured to Charlotte’s house under the pre-tense that Charlotte would stop bullying them if they did. And for some of them that would soon be true. “You are all pathetic losers right now, adrift, invisible. But after today some of you will be getting a new wonderful purpose; worshipping me. Now do as I do and try and keep up.” Charlotte said to a sea of bewildered faces as she began doing her stretches and one by one they each followed suit.

Charlotte’s book began to glow…

#f2f #corruption #bitchification #magic #evil bitch #corrupted book

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gabessquishytum · 4 months

Note

Dream is an artist experiencing a spate of creativity since he's found a new muse -- a gorgeous (mystery) man who excercises (shirtless running/yoga) in the park near Dream's studio. All his current art are studies of this guy's back and arms (and ass, and package); Dream's gotten in to sculpting just to try and work out the need to feel this man's body under his finger tips.

One of Hob's friends brought him to this art show, modern art stuff isn't really Hob's bag, but he'll take free booze. Hob walked into the show and isn't sure why he's blushing, but all the art is like staring at himself, naked in a public mirror. Hob might have a slight exhibition kink, but this all seems so (personally) intimate.

Dream is hiding behind the full body sculture of his muse,,,,,staring at his blushing muse --- in person.

AKAKADJAH this amazing

Hob: that's... that's my butt.

Jo: huh? wait, holy shit, that's your BUTT

Hob has always considered himself quite a plain man, really. He's got a decent body, nothing special. He's not super tall, or super muscular. He's been trying really hard to do the whole "self love" thing, actually - and that's where the idea of working out shirtless came from. Jo suggested that maybe stopping himself from hiding his body under baggy jumpers would be a good start.

It has helped, and Hob feels a lot more confident... but even with his improved self image, being surrounded by lovingly worked, passionate art depicting his body? Its a lot. A lot in a good way, though.

And then someone grabs him by the arm and he's being unceremoniously hauled into what seems to be a supply cupboard. There's a slim, surprisingly forceful man in front of him, looking like he wants to confess a terrible crime. Hob puts 2 and 2 together quickly.

"I feel like you should probably pay me for my services, mister artist. I could have racked up hours of modelling fees if you'd only asked." He grins. The man's cheeks turn very pink.

"If I promise you a fee, this time." He says, in a sinful voice that makes Hob want to melt. "May I touch you? I would like to find out if your glutes have the weight and texture I had imagined."

And that's how Hob ends up getting groped and eventually fingered until he cums inside his nicest pair of trousers. Apparently his butt is everything Dream had... dreamed of. He even takes a picture.

Hob will never feel plain again. Especially when he wakes up in the artist's bed the next morning... and finds Dream already working on a scale model of his morning wood. In a few months the final product will have pride of place on their (shared) coffee table, because Dream refuses to sell his boyfriend's gorgeous cock to anyone else.

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft

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txttletale · 5 months

Note

This is not meant as a gotcha- and it's totally fair if the answer is 'idk' because it's not your responsibility to be the sole person who figures out all the kinks in the proposed idea, but if you already have thoughts on it I'm curious: you've mentioned a communal child-autonomy focused style of raising kids rather than nuclear family with stringent abusive "parental rights" and my only concern with that is healthcare. Kids don't understand why they have to get shots that hurt which keep them safe from polio, but because their parents are legally allowed to drag them to doctor offices and MAKE them sit there and get these shots, we almost eradicated polio entirely up until ableist anti-vaxx moms messed it up for everyone. But I digress.

I'm all for eroding parents rights which are used mainly for abuse. But what about dentistry, vaccines, life-saving surgeries, etc? It sucks that these are done through coercion and force, but that's the only way most 5 year olds will let it get done because these concepts are too complicated and long-term for most children to comprehend. Do you have any thoughts on a balance for that problem while still respecting children's autonomy more? Something closer to faith in community, blind trust to let them fill in cavities? I don't know that I'd agree with letting a kid stubbornly waste away because they can't understand wide-spread infection, in the name of autonomy, even though once someone does understand the concept I'm strangely okay with being sad but letting someone refuse to take care of that aspect of their own health without any forceful measures. I guess it's the knowledge gap that really gets me. For death with dignity you gotta have informed consent, which means the person has to truly understand the medical advice and treatment they're refusing, and many kids simply cannot do that. It's a wrench in the cogs of my understanding your ideas. Thoughts?

obviously i am very harshly skeptical of rhetoric that children need their autonomy violated 'for their own good' but obviously there are situations where, for example, extremely young children cannot feed themselves or locomote and are physically incapable of autonomy -- but i think this is where a family abolitionist view is most useful, because it prevents you from defaulting to 'family' as the solution -- strip all the cultural baggage from the institution of parenthood and you realise that when faced with the problem "sometimes, children cannot physically excercise autonomy, or might be too young to recognise their exercise of autonomy is harming others (e.g. vaccines)", it is actually an insane and silly solution to say "every child should have 1-2 designated Autonomy Violators, assigned at birth and for life, with no qualifications, training, etc".

#ask

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emeritus-fuckers · 8 months

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Hiya. I too loved the "Ghouls with a pregnant Ghoulette s/o." Could we get one with Omega and/or Aether? Please. You are appreciated!

Omega and Aether with a pregnant Ghoulette darling

Omega

Protective. He's still his usual, gentle self, but protective.

You can see his more wild nature that he used to display on stage when he first started.

It shows only when he thinks there's any sort of danger involved.

Makes you a nice, comfortable nest in his bed <3

You do not get to move. At all.

Omega carries you around, cuddling you to his chest. He's a big strong boy. He can carry you around without as issue.

He does get a bit annoyingly overprotective over the stupidest things sometimes.

For example, he doesn't want to risk you drowning when you're taking a bath. He needs to be right close to you and mak sure you and the kit(s) are safe.

Strokes you. Not just your stomach, but also your shoulders or hair.

Especially if you're shorter than him. Which, in most cases, you are. He's really stupidly tall.

Genuinely how fucking dare he be this tall. Why is he so tall? To spit on me?

Back to the point, though.

He makes you nice, warm food which is always just the right temperature.

Honestly, he just takes over all the chores. He's very good at the whole domestic thing. A natural home maker.

Bakes you a pie every weekend to keep you happy.

He absolutely is there for whatever check-ups or doctor's appointments.

Does a lot of research while you're asleep to create the best possible routine for you.

Excercise, walks, regular meals and naps...

Omega will take care of you and that's final.

Aether

He's so thrilled to be a dad! So excited!

He's all over the place. Shows you off to everyone.

He tries to feel the baby kick right away. Insists he felt it, even if you're only two weeks in.

This boy's big arms are wrapped around your waist whenever you sit down. He wants to feel close to the baby. As close as possible.

He's gonna lay his head on your lap, nuzzling as close to your crotch as possible so he can both feel the baby and sniff you down there (panty sniffer Aether supremacy).

He's just... all over your personal space. Snuggling up to you.

And once he can actually feel the baby move?

Yeah, you don't get any privacy. Not even on the toilet. His hands are all over you.

He's gonna be all over you all the time. No matter what.

His arms are your nest.

Sure, he throws some blankets and pillows on the bed, but his arms are your actual nest.

You don't get out of your nest.

He loves you so much.

And when you do have the baby, he's stuck to you both.

Usually you hold the baby in your arms while he carries you both around.

Aether is just very cuddly and touch starved. He's gonna be all over you and the baby.

He's just so super happy about it all!

Written by Jez.

Taglist: @ivyanddaisies @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @lunarsromantichomicide @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @calliedion-dungeon @nuntia @dio-niisio @mamacarlyle @mybotanicaldemise @igodownjustlikeholymary @bloodmoon-bites @natoncesaid

#ghost band #ghost bc #ghost #ask #anon #ghost band x reader #ghost bc x reader #ghost x reader #aether ghoul #aether #aether x reader #aether ghoul x reader #omega ghoul x reader #omega ghoul #omega x reader #omega

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