#Gods I hated writing this I feel so shakey and gross | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kota-bee · 3 years

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moony

a/n: hey look a new series because i got overhwhelmed by in the dark. this will be a self indulgent story so its ok if you dont like it. im trying a new writing style so let me know if its any good. this isnt really edited so read at your own risk. shout out to anyone who can figure out which part of this chapter i inserted after it was done.

chapter 1/? word count: 1628

warnings: none i think. a weeny bit of blood.

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towering trees and bright flowers are all i can see for miles, it was the most beautiful thing ever. mother held my hand, swinging it as we walked along the dimly lit dirt path. "happy birthday my love! how does it feel to be 6 hm?" mothers words are soft and full of love as she looks down at me fondly. "not much differnt, i think im taller maybe?" i screw my face up trying to think if i felt taller or not, i *felt* taller. mother laughed heartly as she looked around us. "youre almost past my hip now! youve definitely gotten taller." mother cooed still looking happily at me. i smiled, i *am* almost past her hip now! i swung her hand even more as we contiuned on our walk. "dad doesnt like to go on these walks does he?" i questioned, looking up at mother. "he doesnt like to get his fancy shoes dirty, Alexander has always been that way" she reasured me softly. the bush in front of us rustled, mother excitedly pulled me down to crouch so we didnt scare the critter moving towards us. i wiggled excitedly, hoping it would be a bunny. "stay still. maybe its a deer" mother whispers into my ear. the rustling get louder before a dirty tired looking man stumbles out. mother pulled me up harshly and hid me behind her. i tried to peek out at the man but she shoved me behind her again. i suddenly remebered what day it was, the full moon. i clutched to mothers shirt as she put a hand on my shoulder.

"can i help you sir? you look ill" mothers voice is shakey but firm. "now that you ask... i do need help"

im on my back on the floor, its uncomfortable and bumpy. my hands are wet and warm, it feels gross and sticky.i raise my hands to my face, theyre red? i turn my head to see if mother knows whats happening and... the man is on top of her, his teeth digging into her neck. shes screaming, crying, "m-mom?"

"mom?" i whisper but im not in that forest anymore, im on my bed in my room. i look around my room, at the posters and drawings on my wall that i made myself, at my trunk and bag near my door. it takes me a second to register the knocking at my door. "andi we need to go" a sandy haired man says softly as he pushes through my door. its just remus, im safe. i push myself up to sit on the edge of my bed and run my hand through my messy curls. "are you alright sweetheart?" remus- dad, asks me softly. "nightmare" i mumbled sleepily. he sighs and sits down next to me. he rubs circles against my back. "its always worse after the full moon, give yourself some patient love" dad said softly, he knew i wouldnt actually give myself time to bounce back. it was frustrating to admit i needed time to heal, i didnt like admitting i was differnt. dad sighed and kissed my forehead gently "get dressed, you can eat at the weasleys, molly will have plenty of food for you"

i pull my t-shirt and worn jeans on and try desperatley to make my hair less of a mess. i dragged my trunk downstairs towards dad who was waiting patiently at the door. "ready? molly will have some ointments for you when you get there."

"i double checked this time" i chuckle, more than once ive forgotten something important, my school supplies werent exactly cheap so that wasnt exaclty ideal. dad chuckled and looped his arm through mine and, with a loud pop, we landed at the burrow. my second home! i live here as often as i do at dads house. it was the most brilliant house ive ever been too.

the door flew open and two lanky twins came flying towards me. fred and george collided with me, hugging me tightly. i giggled squeezing them tightly. Remus put his hand on my shoulder “I’ll see you at the train station, be safe” and with a pop he was gone.

“He never comes inside” a sweet voice came from the doorway. A plump woman was looking fondly at the three teens. She opened her arms wide, beckoning me forward. i smiled and wrapped my arms around molly. “Hello dear” she cooed into my hair. Molly pulled back and looked me over, cupping my face and turned it side to side, examining the new cuts and bruises i donned. She hummed

“Ginny! Ron! Come here!” Molly shouted as she pulled me inside, the twins following.

“She’s going to coddle you” Fred whispered into my ear with a little chuckle. i rolled my eyes as i followed molly into the kitchen where Ron and Ginny had just rushed in.

“Andi!” Ginny bounded towards me wrapping her arms around me and hugged me like it had been years since the last time she had seen me. Ginny had always looked up to me like an older sister ever since she could speak. i hoisted Ginny up and into my arms spinning her around. god i loved the weasleys, every one of them, including percy.

“I’m a little offended you didn’t do that for us” George huffed feigning hurt.

“Yeah come on andi, I thought we were your favourite” Fred added, mimicking his twin.

“Now when did I say that boys” i teased as i plopped Ginny back on the floor. The twins rolled their eyes before throwing their arms over my shoulders. the twins did this to me so often, we were always joined at the hip in some way.

“I dunno I just have a sneaking suspicion that you like us” the boys said in unison. i snickered and gave Ron a happy “hello”

“Now now boys don’t be too rough on her” molly scolded shooing the twins off of me. i sighed, Molly always had a tendency to treat me like i was fragile. “Oh come on mum it’s not like we’re throwing her around” Fred whined. “We could if you wanted” George whispered. The trio had learned early on that the best way to annoy the younger groups was to mock flirt with each other. After awhile it became an inside joke that the three found hilarious. Much to everyone’s dismay.

“Come on andi let me clean you up” Molly’s words are sweet but insistent. i know better than to argue with molly over this stuff. Molly is a excellent healer and it would be stupid to deny her help. i looked over at the twins who are grinning ear to ear, they did warn me i suppose. i rolled my eyes once more before following molly to the living room. i sit down on the sofa the twins and i often crowd. It was far too small for three lanky teens. Molly began rustling in a little bag near a bookshelf. She was humming a song and shaking to a tune only she could hear. Ah ha! Molly exclaimed as she pulled out a little jar full of white paste.

“This will help it heal a little faster, it won’t keep it from scarring unfortunately” molly starts excitedly before mumbling off the last part. i knew this, magic was wonderful but it couldn’t prevent scarring in most situations. i had more scars than i cared to count. Molly cupped my face as she smeared the paste over my wounds, i winced slightly. no matter if it had numbing ingriedents or not, this part always hurt

“I know it hurts, just breathe” molly humed. “Do you have anymore?” Molly questions looking me over. “You know the answer to that question” i chuckled dryly as i stood pulling my shirt up with me. Revealing a bandage stretching across my stomach.

Molly sighed, she hated seeing her kids hurt, not that Andi was her kid but it certainly felt like it. Molly peeled the bandage off slowly trying desperately to keep it from hurting too much.

i shuddered biting back tears as i felt the bandage pull healed skin with it.

The twins were watching from the doorway as molly tended to Andi. They knew what Andi looked like after full moons but they never got used to the gashes and bruises she dawned afterwards. Fred turned away, he felt sick to his stomach, he loved Andi, he wished he could take this from her. She didn’t deserve it.

Molly patched andi's stomach up once more and pulled her shirt down over it.

“Put this on your face twice a day and I’ll help you with your back until you go to school then then ask one of your friends to help” molly instructed waving her finger at me to enunciate her words.

“Yes ma’am” i mock soluted, i knew how much that annoyed her. i turned towards the door way and gave George a lopsided grin and peeked past him at Fred who was leaning against a counter.

“Want to show me what your letters talked about?” i said my tone dripping with mischief. The twins faces lit up as they grabbed my hands and dragged me up the stairs, giggling like kids the whole way to their room.

“What are you three planning??” Molly shouted up the stairs. She knew those three were troublemakers at heart. They had been since they met when they were 7. Remus needed help with Andi after a rough full moon and the rest is history. The three of them managed to turn rons teddy bear into a spider once.

#harry potter headcanon #harry potter fandom #harry potter stories #the weasly twins #the weasleys #harry potter #fan fiction #harry potter fanfiction #fypage

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cinnamonbirdanon · 4 years

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OK but this was supposed to be not as dark but shit, why can’t I write like this on my computer? 😪

Anyways, Taako almost gets turned into a rug by some poachers. Fair warning.

Taako and Lup spent most of their childhood running. Running from hunters, running from other werewolves, running from Vampires, running from everything. But they always had each other. They got hurt, they got beaten up in fights constantly. They hid mostly in towns near forests that they could escape to.

They knew how their parents died. They all had been out hunting and poachers killed their parents as the twins hid in a tree. The poachers had seen them, but they hadn’t seen where they hid. The twins didn’t move long into the night.

The twins were currently 15 in appearance, and they were out hunting as they did every night. Taako was in his wolf form, carrying Lup on his back. This way, if they ran into poachers, they could claim they were just an elf and her pet werewolf.

When they spotted a deer, Lup got off Taako’s back and ducked down with him. “ You wanna get it or should I?” She whispered. Taako lowered a bit to the ground “ I’m already in this form, You keep in your human form and you can spot me if there’s any poachers around.” Lup nodded and watched as her brother snuck up on the deer and pounced.

After they made camp for the night and ate the deer, of course after cooking it, Lup got up and rubbed her eyes “ Imma go take a bath in the river before bed. Promise you won’t wonder off?” she asked, half joking. “ Where would I go, Lu? Taako’s good right here.” Taako said and slumped down in the sleeping bag he was half wearing. “ Alright, gimme 20 minutes.” she said and headed off after grabbing what she would need.

The fire started to go out since Lup wasn’t fuelling it with her magic, and Taako got up to grab kindling. That’s when the whispered started. “ She isn’t coming back.” it started “ Why would she?” Taako froze up a bit before deciding to try to ignore it. “ She didn’t go in the direction of the river.” No, no that was a lie. Right?

“ Ok, whoever you are cut that shit out.” Taako growled, looking around. “ She headed back to town. She’s going to tell about the werewolf in the woods. She’d seen it, it killed a deer. Whoever could be next if it’s willing to kill such a peaceful creature?” Taako only growled louder, voice now surrounding him. “ She wouldn’t, she’s my twin.” he reasoned “ Oh, the twin who got you all caught while you were hunting. You yelped, remember? She and you were play fighting. You yelped. You let them know where you were.”

Taako’s hair stood on end “ Fucking stop! You DONT know what happened that night! How did you know in the first place?” Taako was now panicked as he looked around.

“ You caught your first actual achievement animal that night- a mongoose. You and Lup each caught one. Your parents were so proud. Oh if they only knew. They’d hate you both. You’re ending their bloodline after all.”

Taako ran. He ran as fast as he could, shifting as he did. The voice just kept up with all it’s vial and hateful understanding. It was like it had read into his fears. Trying to escape it, he ran. He was a fast wolf, but bear traps stop that easily.

There he cried, both his back legs stuck in the bear trap. It cut deep, snapping his left leg. His face was coated in mud from him skidding, he couldn’t even looked to see what was around him.

“ Ha! I told you the trap would work!” a voice chimed as Taako heard them get close “ Oh, oh he’s cool lookin actually. Haven’t seen a werewolf with this wolf type.” he felt the trap get lifted a bit and he snapped at the hand out of pain with a shakey “ LEAVE ME ALONE!” His teeth bit into the poacher’s hand and he was punched and slapped until he had to let go because he couldn’t take it anymore. “ Fuckin werewolves, gonna have to put silver chains on this one’s fuckin mouth.”

There was rustling from a bush, and a voice broke through. The voice had a sort of accent, a curious one for this area. “ What the bloody fuck?” said the person who just came into the clearing. The person sounded concerned, and Taako took the chance. “ Help!” He cried “ Help, they’re going to kill me!”

“ Shut the fuck up, you dumb ass wolf. And you, blood sucker, Fuck off! We caught him fair!” The poacher growled, pausing after that. Lycanthropy took quick, after all. “ You fucking piece of trash, you infected me!” The poacher growled, kicking Taako hard enough that he moved a bit. That kick made a sickening crack come from somewhere in his chest.

“ That’s enough.” The man said, starting to approach. The poachers tried to run, but the screams told Taako they didn’t get far. Taako laid there shivering, terrified. He had no clue what the vampire would do, especially since his blood was everywhere at this point.

The crunching of the leaves and twigs approached him again, making him shake more. “ We have to get you some help, come on.” It was the vampire, but he no longer had his accent. Weird. The bear trap was taken off his legs, and the vampire picked him up. “ Any ideas? I don’t really know any healers near by.”

“ The temple of Pan. I- I have a friend there.” Taako stuttered, too in pain to think anything. “ Alright, let’s go. Geez, they messed you up bad... I’m going to touch your face and wipe off the mud, ok?” Taako nodded, and let the vampire take the mud off his face.

The vampire wasn’t like he expected. He wasn’t a creepy creature of the night or b a creepy old man. He was the opposite. “ Shit, I thought you were going to be all gross like they always depict you guys.” Taako joked, wincing as he tried to laugh.

“ Well, are all werewolves just grey wolves?” the vampire didn’t look down at him so Taako didn’t see his actual face, but he was a young man with black hair- and obviously far from ugly. “ Yeah, guess you got me there.” another yelp as he chuckled “ Fuck this hurts... They used mind games to get me running.” he explained and the vampire shook his head “ Well, no need to worry about those poachers doing it to anyone else now. I took care of them.” the vampire assured him.

The temple of pan was surrounded by the werewolf inhabitants. Upon smelling blood, they all went out to see what was going on. “ Taako!” Merle ran out to him “ Shit, what happened?” he took Taako from the vampire, rushing him into the temple. “ Poachers playing mind games... god it was fucked, Merle.” Taako started to cry as his mind went through what the voices had said. Just thinking back on it.

“ Lup went to take a bath in the river and I had to get kindling for the fire. They got me running and when I was trapped they hit me and shit. That vampire saved my life...” Taako explained, feeling Merle starting to heal him the best he could as he also waited for an actual doctor. He had broken bones after all.

It was an excruciatingly painful hour before Lup got there, crying and hugging Taako. After Taako explained what happen, minus the part of them saying their parents would hate them, Lup was just wrecked. “ Why didn’t you come get me?!” she sobbed into her brother’s fur, hugging him tight.

Months of bed rest came and passed, but Taako was left with a limp either way. He and Lup were in the forest again, in the same camp spot. It was a dumb decision as the moment Lup got up, Taako began panicking and leapt on her, hugging her tight. “ How about this time we both go down for a bath?” Lup compromised. “ Yeah... chaboy likes that idea. I also might have to talk to you ‘bout something, uh, not really important after.” Taako said as they got together stuff for their bath.

The entire time, Taako worried about what they were about to talk about. Lup was within eyesight, they weren’t really bathing together since it was nice spending time apart. After Taako decided his bath was done, he got dressed and headed back to camp. He sat by the fire as he brushed his hair, and Lup sat next to him not long after. “ So, what’d you wanna talk about?”

“ Well, uh, I think chaboy’s uh.” Taako got a little panicked, emotions never being his strong point “ Bi? Gay? Something like that...” Lup paused, smiling and hugging her brother “ Well, that’s great! I’m glad you came out to me. What brought this up?”

“ I’ve been thinking, bout our parents and that night. The voices the poachers used said they would hate us because we could ‘continue the bloodline’.” He snorted “ Like, the fuck is that even supposed to mean?”

Lup hummed quietly “ Well, I think ma and pop would be proud of us. We’ve made it this long with you being accident prone.” Taako punched her shoulder, only making Lup let out a snort of a laugh.

“ Oh, ya know what. I never thanked the vampire!” Taako remembered, now thinking back on it. “ Shit, you’re an ungrateful brat, Koko. What the fuck?” Lup teased, getting leapt on as the two began play fighting in their wolf forms.

#cba's werewolf au #cinnamonbirdanon #cinnamonbirdanon writes #It's pretty dark lol

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its-3am-sadness · 4 years

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getting lost up in the past— this is what I found

Friday February 1st, 2013:

ugh..im sitting in third hour..i wanna cry, but i cant theres to many people..

can anyone really save me? ..no.. noone ever can.. i just wanna be happy, truely always happy.. )': ughhhhhhhhhhhh! i gotta go..

Monday February 4th, 2013:

holy shit that was a longg weekend.. i almost cut saturday.. i got a new razor & everythingg.. Jake told me to go chuck itt in the snow, soo i did, but then on sunday i went & found itt.. soo i have itt in my ipod case like my other one.

I stayed up till 3 saturday nightt watching 'Enchanted' i love that movie now (: and i sent Jake a 7 and a 9 page text.. he was asleep though..but his best friend is a girl & i have nothing at all against that, i don't have a reason to hate her at all, i havent even met her, but i still am so super jealous.. i hate that they hang out and slepover together and i dont know, i trust him.. but look what happend with the last guy, i trusted him with all my heart, i never thought he would cheat on me and he ended up fucking his ex-girlfriend and lying about it.. im so scared.. i dont wanna be here.. i was thinking saturday & yesterday how i wish i was single just so i don't have to be so paranoid..but i love being around Jake that i wouldnt dream of ending it..

Shawntay said i should tell him about how i feel with him & his besty, but i idont wanna be the dumb bitchy girlfriend who is all 'you cant talk to girls-blahh blahh blahhk' shitt, ya know?? So ima just leave it to myself because i don't care..

im really trying not to cut.. Tabby (my ex's girlfriend) told me that it takes 21 days to break a habbit & we both last cut on the 22nd, soooo we'll see how that goes..

on wednesday it'll be me & jake's 4 months.. & next thursday is valenitines (how ever you spell itt) day and i wanna get him something.. hmm..

my tits now have names.. right one is Adam & the left is Ryder (:

I love him, my baby. <3 soo much.. </3

Wednesday February 6th, 2013:

today is 4 months with my baby!! i love him sooo much. dude. <3 he is so amazingg. i just want to push him in the snow and kiss him and be crazy. i am crazy about him.. like super crazy aboutt him. <3 i dont wantt him to be taken awayyy! ):

Hunter said he was going to ask me out last week on friday on the bus.. god he's a douche.. he broke my heart so many countless times and just left.. and my ex. my good lord, he is such a dick. im sick of them both fucking with my head and heart. ive moved on and it Shawntay's words 'have a new life with a better guy'.. god i love her. i dont know where i would be right now if it werent for her.. <3 i love you shawny'z forever <3

Friday February 8th, 2013:

well..i almost cut last nightt, i didnt but i was aboutt to.. im not taking my meds, im just throwing them in a bag & ima sell them.. they weren't working anyway soo..

Im seriously so sccared that Jake's going to leave me.. even though he says he's not going to an yada yada yada, but still.. im paranoid.. it's just who i am... i love him with all my heart though.. ya know??

im diguesting..im a whore..a damn slut.. in love with a guy who prolly cant stand me.. im fucking pathetic.. why..why..why would, HOW could anyone like me, or put up with me.. i mean, what the hell..im a little ugly bitch. a fat, pathetic, stupid, idiotic, loud, sluty little damn bitch...fuckkkkkkkk.