#Gerard Way my beloved like how is he so hot!?! For what!?! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

smallestclowninthecircus · 3 years

Text

Tma season 2 notes baybeee

I made myself take several breaks so I could give my frie d who is listening to it at the same time as me a chance to catch up. Honestly just posting them so I have them saved somewhere but whatever.

ep 41: real graham wrote keep watching before he was replaced. Jon feels like he's being watched. But they werent replaced by things related to the eye. It's the web that's on the box that replaces them. Endless hallways and doors to nowhere. I bet nicholas will have ideas what entity this relates to. If it even does. They're like the tunnels in the one with the builder guy. Tunnels closing in etc. Also like the cave diving one. He's assuming it's just one

ep 42: so 100 gecs? (IM SORRY I LIKE 100 GECS BUT LMAO) so there's some entity related to music right? There's the piper episode and the 27 w/ the calliope. Ah yes, this season is gonna be the season of Paranoid!Jon

ep 43: section 31? fucking books. god no. smashed lights? cult lady did that. covered the lights too. she mentioned a spooky clown doll. thats not random.

ep 44: is this that same circus that got mentioned before? it is! the pipe organ! pop off organ! pipe off! mouth on the stomach! yes! mouths in unusual places my beloved!

ep 45: antiques! like that one ep!

ep 46: every time books get mentioned i sigh. hhh sus smells. it got brighter. I get the vibes occasionally that the dark and the eye are sorta at odds with eachother. GRRR BARK BARK LEITNER. ayyy ex altiora. entity go brr. which entity do we thing it is? my guess is The Dark. The book buyer's name is Mike. He has scars? Electricity? The childhood friend of the guy who got it later on perhaps? The Vast? its formatted like an entity idk. This happened before the other one. He got trapped in the wood carving. a win for the web lol spiders go brr

ep 47: did i hear spiral? ITS THE NOT THING FROM THE EPISODE WITH NOT GRAHAM "it didnt move, it shifted" is like the exact same sentence as before. ay john's starting to remember. the laughing woah thats weird. is "michael" one of the entities? "you make it seem like theres a war" supports my theory that theres a struggle between a couple of the entities. I said i thought it was the eye and the dark i believe but im not sure. its whatever entity michael is vs the worms? what did nicholas say the worms were again? The Corruption? still dont know which one michael is tho.

Had to take a break after that episode. smth about the quality of michael's voice makes me feel like im gonna slip into one of those states where it feels like nothing is real, so i got a nice cold glass of water.

ep 48: jesus ok this one's kidna corny. you're telling me love made the crowd go away come on now. Ur losing it big J. also shouldnt it be more sus that "sasha" is so unaffected by the worm incident/ finding of gertrude's body

ep 49: haven't we heard hector's name before? oh is he the crime guy? fucking jared... so it's a throat? chompa chompa. (it's just a little bit hot) the good part about these episodes is that we know whoever's telling the story isn't gonna die. even if it's a close call, they're not dead. hotworth? ok not jared keay. it bothers me how theres so many repeated names, can they not come up with other names? "sasha"'s computer is breaking... sus. Elias our favorite weed man! jon ur so paranoid lmao

ep 50: robert smirk, at it again. this is like that one episode with the old dude who locked his door. who said idle beforehand? was it smirk? fingertips. thats so weird lmao. bahahah tim

ep 51: simon fairchild. im sure jon will mention the name at the end i cant remember where we've heard it. this is just like the cavediving episode. a hand? there was a hand in the last one right? the scalpel! and an eye thing. she's trying to throw them off.

ep 52: thats the guy from before! with the hearts! god i hate this guy writing the statement hh. lights blowing, and brackish water. we know how this ends but its still tense. rainer? reigner? rain man. we've seen him before

ep 53: pls not a leitner. oh boy mans scratched out his eyes. rip skelly. why would gertrude have had this statement off the books? jon stabbed himself?? bruh im? big man are you okay

ep 54: cockney boys! ayy its our favorite delivery men. she cut out their eyes. she knew that the eye was a thing?

ep 55: oily residue like the retirement home!

ep 56: worms? no. spiders?? bruhh. aaah yelling :(( aww martin anyways yeah i called it about paranoid!jon he needs to take a nap and drink some hot chocolate and calm down for once please

ep 57: just remembered, i think theres an entity called The Lonely?? This feels pretty lonely idk. fairchild, lukas/ lucas, some spooky place in norway idk. "sasha" knew he was recordinig hmm suspicious cmon jon figure it out. Sasha and tom. hm sus. for records sake i feel liek i should note here that I did have it spoiled to me simply that that's not sasha, but thats really all. i assumed it was like the thing that happened to graham in S1

ep 58: i feel like i recognize the name eustice (?) wick. someone please tell me im not just watching jon's descent into madness over the course of this podcast. im hoping it isnt so but, (and pardon the dsmp reference) im getting real wilbur vibes from this one.

ep 59: oh dear ok account from the fielding house. swirling designs? Spiral time? oh boyy. oh wait! 6 inch hole in the middle! is it not a spiderweb type design on the table? thats what i had assumed but that description sounds more like a spiral thing. cobwebs is a Web thing. ayy nicholas was right! the box goes in the table! the place that she kissed him was burning. Raymond is an avatar of The Web and agnes is the burning one. Lightless Flame! Why did she save him? i guess she was against this guy eating ppl or wtvr but why was she at the halfway house then? I think she's like michael.

ep 60: the eye go brr

ep 61: breacon and hope once again. tom. sasha's boyfriend. vampires sleep in coffins. the guy just walking in seems similar to the mind control of the vampires

ep 62: bones! its that one leitner. is this mother keay? the mom of gerard? this is what happened to her right? her skin was found on hooks? oh yeah thats what i thought the pages are made of skin. yeesh. The End!! sounds like an entity. phrased like one, and i think i remember it. are the people trapped in the pages? or... kept?

ep 63: eaten by the darkness! cavediving episode! (just like eaten by the sky) did my brain make up one called The Vast? it feels like it should be one, and all these episodes have some similar description about their feelings when they do whatever chosen hobby they have. ok now this one kinda feels like the dark. lights going out and all that. ok so not really a The Vast thing, its more of a Dark thing. feckin smirk gah.

ep 64: dice! the death guy! the death game thing! the person tricked somebody else into becoming death and then they were immortal? but if the egyptians wanted to kill him or punish him or whatever couldnt they just kill him? it worked in the end when he had the person giving the statement stab him, that did the job and actually killed him

ep 65: finally jon is actually acknowledging something is wrong.

So we know Mary Keay was revived most likely with the book by gerard.

Gertrude was way more aware of the entities than Jon. mary keay referenced The End openly and she cut the eyes out of her magazines and all that which makes me think she was aware of The Eye

ep 66: please not buried alive pleeaase not buried alive. lukas of the tundra? didnt we hear the name lukas before? she wanted it to be difficult to find important files because that way bad people couldnt find them?

ep 67: agnes... the girl in the hilltop house? agnes poppin off!! he's really not gonna question how she knew where he lived?? oh no D: the tree. were they the ones working on the house? aww they kissi- OH DEAR. why did she kiss him? it seemed like she cared about him? also she could kiss that other dude on the cheek and he was fine, but maybe it was cuz she was younger? lightless flame go brrrrr.

ep 68: oh god books. yup its bitchboy leitner. mans said "this seems supernatural, its a werd book!" bruuh.

ep 69: heh nice. aw cmon jon listen to martin. gahhh spiders. is that the class we heard about in the other doctor one with the teeth apple? some kind of psych class? oh dear. fucking spiders. aaaah. web do be goin brr. it's like the girl in the homeless shelter! who made the guy leave and she took his bed.

ep 70: is this gonna be the book that mary keay had? Most likely a leitner no matter what. Oh boy latin. Why did it start in latin then become old English? I'm guessing people put them in the book? He cant burn it. Phrophecies go brr. He says eh it's a decade in the future it's fine. Its gonna have changed. Ayy called it. Just accept it, it's a magic book. His death is getting closer. Leitner didnt make them but just collected them? Gertrude burned the book! She burned them down there so no one would know.

ep 71: oh boy tunnels. Our favorite thing /s. is The Buried a thing? Idk this seems pretty buried. Oh dear he's trapped here isnt he. "Not enough space to move, never enough to breathe" is that from the computer episode? With the guy who uploaded his consciousness? Somebody living down there. Hmmmm. Guesses: tom, sasha's boyfriend. Gertrude herself? (Though I doubt it)

ep 72: sweeney todd moment. Meat. The slaughter? Idk we'll see what the supernatural part is. Meat is meat. Similar to the slaughterhouse episode. Is it fucking Jared I swear to God it better not be. Hooligan teenagers, you know how it is. Meat is me lmao. Is the kid gonna be in the freezer. Ok that's good. OWW. Oddly textured candles. Made from people? Human fat or smth? Tom from the meat processing plant!

ep 73: outer bay shipping. Bet it's a subset of breacon and hope delivery. The Dark go brrr. Uh oh mans is gonna die. Leo or whatever. Cult ppl go brr. The people's church of the divine host. Who is the divine host? Is it reigner or whatever his name is? I dont think Jon can quit tbh. Probably an anonymous tip but from who?? One of the entities?

ep 74: fucking teeth hhh. I dont know which entity is related to teeth. Spiral. Isnt the spiral an entity. It feels like it could be related to many things idk. Yeah this sounds like the spiral. Heart attack at 29? Jesus... michael! That's kinda what I was thinking. Sasha goin in the tunnels. Hmm sus. They move the floor. Wack. Bet its tom.

ep 75: Man with a lightning scar. Has one of the leitner books. The childhood friend of the one who first introduced us to leitner. Oh my god that sounds terrifying. Michael crew.

ep 76: scalpel? Hmm spooky. NotSasha... think jon think.

ep 77: another double! NotThem, The Stranger. Not related to the table?

ep 78: what was that at the beginning? Question mark?? Oh boy more NotThem. Decker... what is the deal with the table. Does it contain the creature? Fucking Michael. Bitchboi himself.

ep 79: yes pop off martin. Ugh fucking Michael just leave man. I hate that dude. New person. Hmm. No idea who it is.

ep 80: shitener himself! Ok sir tell us the entities. Ayy The Spiral. Ok we know what that one is. The Eye is the beholding! Oooh. The Stranger. Did elias just kill leitner? Popping off honestly.

#Neptune tma notes

6 notes · View notes

tabloidtoc · 3 years

Text

National Enquirer, November 16

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Jeffrey Epstein’s madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s nights with Prince Andrew and teen Virginia Roberts Giuffre

Page 2: Brad Pitt kicked married galpal Nicole Poturalski to the curb after getting flak from his ex Angelina Jolie -- Brad’s relationship with Nicole hit the skids after Brad decided he needed to shore up his image during his ongoing custody battle with Angie and his focus right now is to get his dad image back on track and give Angie no more ammo to fling back at him

Page 3: Tiger Woods’ romance with Erica Herman has gone off course over legal troubles and wedding pressure and bickering over where to live and Tiger is so fed up he’s considering ditching his nagging girlfriend in Florida and moving back to his native California -- Erica’s been pressuring him to put a ring on it ever since she moved into his Jupiter Island mansion and that’s something he just won’t do and she’s already taken over his household buying new furniture and remodeling the master bath and building a new closet and hiring a gourmet chef -- California is looking better and better to Tiger who only moved to Florida to play on its tough Bermuda grass which helped improve his swing but now Tiger’s ex Elin lives in Florida with their two kids

Page 4: Miranda Lambert is scoffing at ex Blake Shelton’s newly announced engagement to Gwen Stefani and she’s convinced Blake’s third walk down the aisle has failure written all over it because she thinks Blake’s bad to the bone and this marriage will wind up being a total disaster and after the hell Blake put her through Miranda can’t imagine his life with Gwen would be any different, lifelong bachelor Simon Cowell has had a change of heart since his horrific August accident and he’s finally ready to tie the knot with baby mama Lauren Silverman -- after spinal surgery to repair his broken back the entertainment mogul feels lucky to be alive and walking and the one constant in his difficult rehab after surgery has been Lauren and he wants to pay her back with a ring

Page 5: Train-wreck Wendy Williams’ wacky behavior has TV producers scrambling behind the scenes to find her replacement after her unhinged performance on a recent episode of her talk show where she slurred her words and rambled incoherently -- there had been a hope a chatfest helmed by Nick Cannon could be a safety net should the daytime diva who spent a stint in a sober living house last year not be able to continue hosting but plans for that were pushed back after the comic made anti-Semitic rants in a podcast -- they also tried Jerry O’Connell when Wendy was out for three weeks last year but he tanked with viewers -- Wendy’s a mess and it remains to be seen how long producers will be able to put up with her problems before they decide to pull the plug

Page 6: Grey’s Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo hinted that she may be making her final rounds -- Ellen who has starred on the show since 2005 and makes $20 million a year admitted she’s considering slipping out of her scrubs after the current season 17 but her departure could spell the end of the beloved series and show creator Shonda Rhimes has said it’s unlikely the show could continue without her but Ellen has also expressed her desire to spend more time with her husband and their three children

Page 7: Mariah Carey’s brother Morgan blasted her memoir as filled with lies and distortions and he’s considering legal action -- the book called Morgan and sister Alison her ex-brother and ex-sister and Mariah wrote Morgan had a long history of violence and when she was six he slammed their mother into a wall -- Mariah also wrote her siblings and mother were heartless in terms of dealing with her as a human being and once she got famous they started treating her like an ATM with a wig on but Morgan is fighting back and looking to hire a lawyer

Page 8: Reese Witherspoon’s marriage to Jim Toth is in the muck after the stunning collapse of his new business venture and tensions are mounting in the Hollywood power couple’s already troubled union now that the streaming service Quibi crumbled after less than six months leaving content acquisition president Jim out of work while Reese’s star continues to rise and there’s a real balance of power that’s been building up and that’s put a serious strain on the relationship -- living in quarantine added to the stress between them as Reese has been holed up with her two kids with ex Ryan Phillippe Ava and Deacon and her son Tennessee with Jim at the family’s ranch in Malibu

Page 9: Dementia patient Kenny Rogers cut his three adult children out of his $250 million will and now sources fear the late country legend could have been tricked into signing the document -- Kenny left everything to his 16-year-old twins sons with fifth wife Wanda and the will also stated it was his intent to specifically exclude his daughter Carole with his first wife and son Kenny Jr. with third wife and son Christopher with fourth wife and their issue as beneficiaries of his estate -- Kenny Sr. would never disown his own children according to the source especially since the singer’s son Kenny Jr. is incorrectly referred to Kenny Rogers III throughout the will -- the wording is not like Kenny Sr. and something is not right and his older kids are thinking about contesting the will

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Kate McKinnon shot a Saturday Night live skit in NYC, Sophia Bush hit the road in L.A. with her co-pilot pup Maggie, pregnant Jinger Duggar Vuolo in Venice with daughter Felicity, Heidi Klum walking the streets in her native Germany, Snoop Dogg saluted young rappers as he accepted BET’s I Am Hip Hop award

Page 11: Unwitting Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler once dabbled in the secret sex cult NXIVM -- the organization masqueraded as a self-help group but in 2017 it was exposed as a pyramid scheme for founder Keith Raniere who forced high-ranking female recruits to become his sex slaves -- in 2010 Jen and Gerry who were dating at the time wound up at one of the introductory seminars but they were turned off by the level of commitment expected and never returned -- they thought it was just a networking opportunity and had no idea what they were getting themselves into, cash-crunched Gwyneth Paltrow is facing hard times like everyone else and is looking to change her free-spending ways -- the belt-tightening caused by the coronavirus pandemic has even hit her lifestyle empire Goop causing her to shut down the London branch and make hard choices for the future -- Gwyneth may be worth $100 million but she and husband Brad Falchuk spend money like it’s going out of style on private jets they use on a whim and they own a fleet of fancy cars and pay steep salaries for staff who are at their beck and call 24/7 and it’s all draining their bank accounts -- they’re looking at making cuts across the board from personal trainers and chefs and drivers to the masseurs and beauticians who come to their house several times a week -- plus the couple believe it’s a bad look for them to be living so high on the hog when the rest of the world is suffering during the pandemic

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- Angelina Jolie spent years developing her own version of the Hollywood classic Cleopatra and now she’s livid that Gal Gadot has stolen the Egyptian queen -- Angie’s dream was to play Cleopatra the role that made Elizabeth Taylor an icon and it was to be the part that won Angie an Academy Award for Best Actress and now that’s over thanks to Gal who will be playing the Queen of the Nile instead, after ABC scrapped plans to honor Regis Philbin with a prime-time tribute Jimmy Kimmel insisted on honoring Regis on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, MSNBC talking head Rachel Maddow is fleeing New York for her Massachusetts farm after hanging a $2.3 million price tag on her NYC pad but Rachel didn’t want potential buyers looking through all the personal stuff at her apartment so all the personal pictures and books and clothing and everything else was shipped out and replaced with staged furniture, Ariel Winter and her dog (picture)

Page 13: Ailing Joni Mitchell opened up about how she’s still struggling to get back to her old self five years after a debilitating brain bleed -- after Joni was found unresponsive in her Bel-Air home in 2015 she said she was forced to relearn everyday tasks because the aneurysm took away her speech and her ability to walk and although she’s showing slow improvement she hasn’t been writing or playing the guitar or the piano, Randy Travis is defying all the odds as he plans the greatest comeback in country music history as he is making amazing progress after suffering a massive 2013 stroke that most believed would end his career forever and he was given just 1% chance of survival and even after he pulled through doctors believed he would be bedridden and unable to speak -- instead his grueling rehab efforts have miraculously put him on the road to realizing his dream of returning to the spotlight -- some of his motivation is financial; last year he sold his Nashville home and released his memoir which was fueled by his need to pay medical expenses after years of not being able to perform

Page 14: Hollywood Hookups -- Channing Tatum and Jessie J have split again, Cole Sprouse and Reina Silva dating, Kate Beckinsale and Goody Grace split

Page 15: Ariana Grande is raising eyebrows with her raunchy new record Positions -- the former squeaky-clean Nickelodeon star who has been dating real estate agent Dalton Gomez spouted off X-rated odes to an unnamed lover on the LP, six months after sidelining her marriage to former quarterback Jay Cutler Kristin Cavallari admitted there are good days and bad days but insisted it’s been nice to be able to focus on herself and figure out who she is now and what she ultimately wants out of life, hotel heiress Kathy Hilton is joining The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as a friend of the main cast which includes her half-sister Kyle Richards

Page 16: Crime

Page 17: On Drew Barrymore’s talk show a psychic guest channeled the spirit of one of the host’s former in-laws but the man in question is very much alive -- medium Anna Raimondi told Drew she sensed the aura of a judge causing Drew to burst into tears and named David a relative of her ex-husband Will Kopelman claiming he’d passed but Judge David Kopelman is alive and still going strong -- Will slammed Anna was a submental hack and said he was surprised that Drew chose to give oxygen to someone like that

Page 18: American Life

Page 20: Cover Story -- Prince Andrew is desperate to quash explosive testimony by his pedophile pal Jeffrey Epstein’s accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell but the socialite’s second secret deposition is torpedoing his return from royal exile -- after Ghislaine danced around details of her relationship with the disgraced Duke of York in testimony released a few weeks ago Andrew is sweating bullets about her second grilling under oath which contains details of their intimate friendship and nights with Epstein’s teen sex slave Virginia Roberts Giuffre

Page 22: Don McLean viciously slammed ex-wife Patrisha Shnier as the worst person her ever knew but in their ongoing war of words she maintains he was abusive to her -- Don is still bitter over a 2016 domestic incident at their home in Maine that landed him behind bars and led to divorce after 30 years of marriage

Page 26: Matthew McConaughey confessed he nearly turned his back on Tinseltown to be a wildlife guide like late Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin -- he made a splash in a string of blockbuster rom-coms in the ‘90s and ‘00s but he was eager to move on to meatier movies and even passed on a $14.5 million paycheck in 2010 to seek more substantial roles and the struggle left him considering other careers such as a wildlife guide, Jamie Foxx has been crushed by the death of his beloved sister DeOndra Dixon who was born with Down syndrome

Page 28: Good Catch -- Bachelor stars who are still up for grabs -- Jon Hamm, Owen Wilson, Drew Carey

Page 29: Benicio Del Toro, Ryan Seacrest, Matthew Perry, some stars seem to say I do at the drop of the hat -- Larry King, Jerry Lee Lewis, Billy Bob Thornton

Page 32: Olivia Munn was caught on camera flashing what looked like engagement bling on her left ring finger as she exited a gym following a morning workout in Los Angeles but she reportedly broke up with boyfriend Tucker Roberts last year leaving fans wondering who bought the stunning sparkler

Page 36: Health Watch

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Michelle Pfeiffer

Page 45: Spot the Differences -- Allison Janney on Mom

Page 47: Odd List

10 notes · View notes

stetervault · 4 years

Note

Any historical aus you can recommend?

There is a serious lack of these in the Steter fandom imo, especially ones that aren’t regency/royalty, but thankfully they do exist:

Steam Rises from the Body by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)

Peter and Stiles are surgeons in a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital near the front line of the Korean War.

Hooverville by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)

Town to town, train to train, tent to tent.

By 1932, the dust had begun to blow and the jobs were gone.

Anonymity was a byproduct of looking for work, which made it both necessary and convenient.

Stiles had enough secrets of his own to know to look the other way when he saw something that shouldn’t be possible.

The ghost of a tail giving enough balance to disembark a moving train.

Near silent Latin whispered on the edge of a tent encampment.

A flash of burning eyes.

He had more than enough to worry about without adding the oddities of others, and besides- having unusually sharp teeth certainly didn’t make a man worse than the ones running from the wife and kids they couldn’t feed.

So Stiles kept his observations to himself. He kept his everything to himself.

Until he met a man. One with eyes so blue they seemed to glow- and then they did.

Stiles tried to look away, but for the first time he was stopped.

“Don’t be like that sweetheart. Aren’t you curious?”

Orbital Distance by neglectedtuesday

Artemis, the capital city of the Moon, where movies are born and stars are made. The crown jewel of American cinema and simultaneously Hollywood’s biggest rival. The money may be dollars, it may be counted as the 51st state but the studios run this city, making cinema and waging war. No real bloodshed but equally cutthroat in its own way. Peter has devoured article after article about the industry, from in-depth journalism to gossip rags, desperate for every detail, every scandal, every glorious moon moment.

Wild Creatures by neglectedtuesday

The treaty is signed while Stiles is being laced into his wedding corset. Ink splatters parchment as a maid pulls the ribbons, tighter and tighter. Stiles’ breath and future are taken away, all to save a village. He is a sacrifice more than a bride. The maid assists in fixing a choker around Stiles throat. Her hands are cold despite the roaring fire in the grate. The choker is a string of blood red rubies, they reflect the firelight with a wet shine like an open wound.

Out Of The East, Never See The Sun Rise by neglectedtuesday

In the beginning, there are three absolutes.

One. Stiles is a god, forged of starlight and collapsing galaxies and he is eternal.

Two. Peter is human, fragile bone and viscous blood and he is temporary.

Three. Stiles and Peter are in love; love that claws its way inside one’s heart like fish hooks; all encompassing love that is beautiful but dangerous.

Stiles is a god. Peter is human. They love each other.

Three absolutes.

Viking Wolves do it Better by MaroonDragon

Stiles is the omega witch in the village he was born in. A gift that had been passed to him from his mother. A curse that left him an outcast amongst the people he helped heal. Until one day he no longer is. Kidnapped by the Viking Wolves of the North, he suddenly finds himself a human amongst wolves. There is one wolf in particular who is intent to woo him into staying. Stiles is really only indulging Peter until he can make his escape. There is nothing remotely interesting about the other man. Not a single thing.

Utterly Appropriate by wynnebat

There’s only one person whom Stiles would marry, and whoever has asked for her hand isn’t on that list.

Duty by ChloeWeird

A petrified omega. An ambitious alpha. A wedding night four years in the making.

Bound Fast With Love by Diablerie

It started when his grandfather assigned him to attend to the visiting professor, Peter Hale.

“Be his shadow, my boy. Take care of his smallest need before he has an opportunity to notice. It would be quite the feather in our cap if we can steal him away.”

Somehow, that brought him here: bound to a table and about to be spanked for his shoddy recitation of ancient poetry.

Bittersweet Creek by Guede

When Stiles finally steps off the westward trail to California, he’s the last of his pack. He starts building a den, but then he finds a dying man next to a burnt-down house and it turns out he’s not really much of a settler, after all.

Wolf Ranch by Guede (Poly - Stiles/Lydia/Peter/Derek/Chris)

At first glance, Beacon Hills seems like a terrible place to settle. Ruled by alpha werewolves and surrounded by a haunted forest filled with outlaws, it’s not very friendly to Eastern greenhorns. So Stiles and Lydia should fit right in.

Intemperance by Guede (Poly - Stiles/Peter/Derek/Chris/Laura)

Stiles is the one who gets pulled back to Beacon Hills by a murder.

Moonshine by Udunie

Deucalion was sitting in the corner that was reserved for special guests, with his henchmen - a pair of twins - guarding the table. He was just putting his stetson down, eyes catching Peter and widening just a fraction when he noticed Stiles. He was a good guy though, and quickly got his pokerface back in place. Nobody came to the Moonshine and insulted Peter.

“Deucalion, nice to see you,” he greeted, not acknowledging the goons who were giving Stiles the side eye. He knew they probably wanted a piece of his kitten, but thankfully were not foolish enough to try.

May the Mighty Fall by Udunie

“Oh, how the mighty have fallen,” Matt sneered, looking at Stiles with derision. “One day, the popular, orphaned son of a beloved consul, and the next a traitor to the Emperor and an enemy of Cantalupo…”

Stiles didn’t move a muscle, even though all he wanted was to leash out, to reach between the bars of his cell and strangle that little, creepy shit. He could have said a lot of things, he could have told Matt’s pompous, patrician ass that he was - in fact - not an orphan. And seriously, from where he was standing, he wasn’t even really a traitor.

Well, yes, he wanted the death of the Emperor, but he wanted the best for Cantalupo - the return of the Lupa Maxima, the city’s rightful ruler and with her, the revival of the principate.

Of course, his reasons were far from being completely patriotic.

Gerard Argent tried to have his father killed, he lived in outrageous luxury while some of his subjects starved. He didn’t give a shit about the plebs…But. Stiles couldn’t say any of that. It wasn’t the time. Not yet.

A Matter of Chance by 1001cranes (WIP)

“I’m going to offer for the Stilinski boy,” Peter announces at breakfast one morning.

Greenberg drops the entire pot of hot chocolate.

A welcome arrow by 1001cranes

The wedding is small and grim, because Stiles is being carted off to parts unknown, married to a thirty-something year old dude who wants to marry a seventeen year old dude - totally not creepy at all.

my very soul demands you by veterization

Orphan Stiles Stilinski seeks work at Hale House, an enormous, foreboding mansion in Beacon Hills run by Mr. Peter Hale, who employs him as a butler. Or: Stiles is Jane Eyre, and Peter is Mr. Rochester.

Royal A/B/O Au by charlottecjhlvr

When his father’s Kingdom and the Hale Kingdom make a treaty, Stiles is the one who has to make it work.

In Sheep’s Clothing by Twisted_Mind

“The problem is Derek,” he began.

At this, Cora merely snorted in a particularly unladylike fashion. “When isn’t it?”

Alas, it was not so simple a matter as the scrapes of the child he had once been—would that it were! “Unfortunately, in this case, Derek has engineered hardship for not only our family, but the young Miss Stilinski also.”

At the sound of the young gentlewoman’s name, Cora’s features sharpened; she leaned forward and rested one hand tenderly on Peter’s knee as she asked, “Speak plainly—what’s he done, and what must now be done to rectify the situation?”

Peter took her hand in appreciation and followed her example, without any further prevarication. “He bedded his intended, and if he had merely done so, we’d have precious little trouble on our hands, for he’s hardly the first to take his wife-to-be to bed before their union was formalized, however much you will hear other preach otherwise.”

Cora interrupted, then, as she gripped her uncle’s hand tightly. “I’m not going to enjoy what I hear next, am I?”

Temporary Claim by sunrise_and_death

Some, of course, are off limits. Queen Talia and her husband have their special favorites who join their marriage bed from time to time. Laura has several young strapping men that are hers and hers alone. Even Derek has a few favorites—the quiet ones, the sweet ones.

Peter? The Duke only has one.

Sacrificial Lamb by Bunnywest

The Alpha has a scruffy beard, unkempt hair and dazzling blue eyes. The scar on his face is raised, running down his cheek like a twisting, gnarled rope. Stiles knows that it came from the blade of Kate Argent herself, and that the Alpha got it fighting in the battle where Kate killed his lover, cutting his head clean from his neck, if the stories are to be believed.

The Alpha lets Stiles look his fill, before indicating that Stiles should take the other couch, and Stiles does so, his father’s words echoing in his ears. He can do this, can be pleasant and amenable. The lives of his people may depend on it. The Alpha spends long moments surveying him, before saying, “I like you, Stiles.”

You don’t know me, Stiles wants to blurt out, but he bites his tongue.

Goddess Below by Unloyal_Olio

Peter sneaks into the vestal temple looking for a virgin. He finds Stiles.

#teen wolf #steter #fanfic rec #rec list #historical au #ask #anonymous

73 notes · View notes

mychemicalficrecs · 4 years

Note

frerard aus where one or both of them are parents or highschool frerard aus with bullying?

Hi Nonny!

I've made a list for you where Frank and/or Gerard are parents.Check back for your other request in a day or two!

Frank And/Or Gerard Are Parents

F is for Frank by silver_etoile, 23k, Mature. Frank can't even cook mac and cheese. How can he possibly live up to being a father? Maybe the new preschool teacher can help.

How did I survive without you? by Frnk, 9k, Not Rated. Frank thought he knew everything, he had a job and an apartment, he was studying in school and working his ass off to pass his English exams. Then his entire world got turned upside down by a little boy left on his door step.

i will do my best to be... by picht, 4k [WIP], Teen And Up Audiences. It’s Friday evening, 6 PM, and Frank is fucking nervous. Griffon’s first meeting with this new troop begins in fifteen minutes, and they’ve been sitting in the church parking lot for the past five. There’s a lot of things that could go wrong here, is the thing. Hopefully, Frank thinks, third time’s the charm.

Sometimes the world gets so damn lonely, ya'know? by Frnk, 7k, Not Rated. "Like sometimes its not about getting drunk or talking or whatever. Sometimes you only need someones company to feel less alone in the world."

Wicked Little Town. by xofunghoul, 26k [WIP], General Audiences. In a small town in New Jersey where nothing much happens, Gerard Way runs his family's diner with his best firend Ray and he thinks his life is going nowhere special and is fine with it until Frank Iero, a young single dad of twin babies moves into town and shakes things up a little with his witts and big green eyes.

Ice Creams and Bloody Knees by charmlesstrans, 3k, General Audiences. "Good morning, girls! Time to get up!" Frank knocked and cheerily called into Lily and Cherry's room bright and early at 8 AM. "Noooo," protested Lily from behind the door. "Too tired.." Cherry explained with a sleep-muffled voice.

Four Killjoys and a Baby by forgoo, 19k [WIP], Teen And Up Audiences. "We are not keeping a baby!" "How hard can it be?" The story of how four teenage outlaws became the guardians of a tiny helpless baby and then raised that baby to be the tiniest Killjoy, messiah of the Zones.

Can we keep it? by NatMadness, 1k, Teen And Up Audiences. Chris always came home with a different animal in his hands. Gerard always said no, they already had three dogs and they were a lot of work, but the kid kept bringing them with him every day after school. Of course, he was a 6 year old little boy with a deep pasion for animals and Gerard loved that, because it reminded him so much of Frank.

Taste by A_A_Dolan, 11k, Mature. The most forbidden fruit always tastes the sweetest. When married man, father, and successful artist, Gerard Way, meets an Italian, attractive, hazel eyed musician/singer at a local café...an instant attraction occurs and when things between them get hot and heavy...sudden consequences come with the price of being unfaithful.

B.F.F. by iamcatastrophicc, 36k [WIP], Mature. Gerard Way has wanted to be a dad ever since he was a kid but as he gets older he fears he might not be able to and tries to adopt. Unfortunately, they won't let him because he's a single dad so instead him and his best friend devise a scheme to get Gerard a child.

How I Met Your Father by Monroeville, 4k, Teen And Up Audiences. “Dad, are you gonna tell us how you and dad met again?”

The Sad Dad Club by mousefrnk, 85k, Explicit. Ex-frontman Frank Iero is a single dad in New Jersey doing his best to raise his three girls. He meets Ray and Gerard, two dads with sons in the same class as one of his girls. Along with Gerard’s brother Mikey (who is soon to be a dad himself), they make plans to hang out every Friday, asking each other for advice and getting some much-needed adult social interaction. Thus, the Sad Dad Club is born.

Arrange The Sorrows And Joys by flax_wench, 26k [WIP], Explicit. Frank is a young, unemployed former musician in desperate need of a job; Gerard is a wealthy, single father searching for a nanny for his beloved baby girl, and hires Frank to be her nanny against Mikey's advice. Much to everyone's surprise, he turns out to be a perfect fit, and to no one's surprise, the two men slowly begin to fall for one another. Love, angst, a whole lotta smut, and an adorable baby named Lola.

I Hate my Weaknesses But they Make Me Who I Am by Frnk, rockforfrnk, 15k, Mature. Frank is a stay at home dad and suddenly his stomach issues cause him problems. All he wants is to be better and focus on his family.

Sonna Kimi ga Suki! (That Was Good!) by momiji_neyuki, RedRomRomance, Trixgrl, 13k, Mature. You meet all kinds of interesting people when you go to the park for lunch.

(We're Going) To Space by Andromedas_Void, 2k, General Audiences. “Yes?” Gerard asked, a soft smile on his (extremely cute) face, along with a dozen star, moon, and planet stickers. “Oh, ah,” Frank started, holding back a laugh. “Your, uh, the mail man delivered this to my house by mistake,” he said, biting his lip and holding out the package.

Songs For The Weak by Wearenotalright, 11k [WIP], Teen And Up Audiences. Frank is a history teacher at his old high school and he has a rather interesting new student. Bandit Way. She was tall and lanky and the other students shunned her for being the "weird kid". Frank has no other choice but to call her father in for a meeting to tell him the horrible news that his little girl is getting bullied.

In A Pretty How Town by fleurdeliser, tuesdaysgone, 23k, Explicit. Single dad Frank Iero moves with his son to a new town. Everyone is nice, but the mayor, Gerard Way, is positively too good to be true.

The Bench by phrankiero (orphan_account), 3k, General Audiences. Frank takes his son James to soccer practice every week. There he meets Gerard, the parent and single father of James's best friend.

I Know What It Means to Me by mistresscurvy, 9k, Explicit. Gerard didn't go to his single parents support group expecting to find love, but it found him there when Frank showed up one week. A single dads AU.

Crazy for You by sockpuppeteer, 2k, General Audiences. Frank's relief is almost palpable when there is someone home in apartment opposite, and, although mussed and a little bleary, he looks relatively friendly. And gorgeous, but Frank is definitely not focusing on that right now.

Online fantasies. by jessislame, 13k [WIP], Not Rated. It has been a long time since Gerard has reconnected with his family and friends due to being at college most of the time. So when he gets an invitation for coffee from an old friend he can't really refuse...can he?

The Secret Life of Bees by eudaimon, 12k [WIP], Explicit. Summer. Frank and his daughter have nothing left in New York, so they hit the road and end up in the tiny town of Orpheus Falls, NY. Frank meets Gerard at a farmer's market, selling artisan honey. They start to figure things out.

It Was All An Accident by MissPamelaD, PhantomSwelling, 59k [WIP], Teen And Up Audiences. Gerard and Frank had it all. A perfect friendship, perfect families with their wives. They're missing nothing. That is until both of their wives die in a tragic accident. They both feel at loss, not being totally able to function without their loves. But, when they decide to move together with their kids, their world changes again. Will it be for the better or for the worse?

#fic rec list #frank/gerard #frerard #kidfic #parents

42 notes · View notes

robinrunsfiction · 5 years

Text

Heaven Help Me

Pairing: Gerard Way x Demon!Female Reader Rating: Teen Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~1,100 Author’s Note: Here is the x reader version of the story I just published.

You had been so careful when you recited the words. You were supposed to be opening yourself up for communication with the spirit world after your friend's beloved aunt passed away and you wanted to help grant her closure. This also wasn’t the first time you had done this. You knew the dangers of channeling the other side, but you weren’t worried. You would be fine.

But after letting your friend's aunt speak through you, you felt something else. You tried to let it go, it had to be nothing, you felt fine and didn’t hear anyone else communicating with you. Shortly after your tearful friend left, your boyfriend Gerard arrived home.

“(YN), you home?” he called from the door.

“Yea, in here,” you called from the kitchen. He came in and greeted you warmly with a kiss as he set his stuff down.

“What did you do today?” he asked while pouring himself some coffee.

“Did a few readings for online clients then a friend stopped over and I channeled her aunt.”

“How'd it go?” Gerard asked. He was supportive of your work, but was always concerned when you started communicating with the other side.

“It was fine, no problems at all,” you smiled.

The rest of the night you ate dinner, and laid around with Gerard being lazy, it was a good night.

The next morning when your eyes opened, you felt like a shift had taken place deep inside you. You felt empowered and motivated to cause some kind of trouble. You shook your head and strutted toward the shower, leaving Gerard sleeping in bed.

As you peeled off your pajamas and looked in the mirror, nothing looked different, but you were so much more aware of your curves and how sexy you felt.

You stepped into the shower and got started washing up for the day. As you ran your shampoo covered hands through your hair, your fingers grazed against something strange, a rough patch on your scalp. You scrubbed at it a little harder with your nails, and then noticed another patch on the other side.

You finished washing up and got out of the shower and cleared the steam off the mirror. Parting your wet hair, you looked at your scalp, but couldn’t manage to find what you had felt.

The next couple days went by without anything out of the ordinary going on, other than your newfound burst of self-assurance. The confidence in yourself radiated off of you, and Gerard was quick to notice as well. It was as if a switch had been flipped in you and you had become irresistible to him.

The next morning though as you woke up tangled against Gerard's sleeping form, you felt like another shift had taken place in you. You still felt confident and sexy, but it also felt like there was a darkness encroaching.

In the shower you started shampooing your hair as normal when you realized the spots on your scalp had changed overnight. Now they were sharp buds growing out of the top of your scalp.

“No, no, no!” you said as you quickly rinsed off and went to the mirror, pulling at your hair until you confirmed what you felt.

“Oh fuck!” You muttered, not realizing how loud you actually were.

“(YN), you ok?” Gerard called from the other side of the door.

“Yea, just cut myself shaving, its ok,” you lied. You sank to the floor, heart pounding in your chest. It all made sense now. A demon snuck through while you channeled your friend's aunt.

‘And I'm so happy in here, I think I'm gonna stick around,’ a voice from the back of your mind taunted.

“No! You leave me at once!” you whispered harshly.

‘Your, or should I say our, man, is so hot though, I wanna stick around. Besides these last few days have been some of the best you've ever felt right?’

“Shut up,” you grumbled.

‘That’s it, you know you love what I've done for you. Now come on, finish washing that sexy body and then let’s go have some fun with Gee!’

“You don’t get to call him that,” you replied as you involuntarily got off the ground and back under the spray of the shower.

‘Pretty sure I'm calling the shots now, sweet thing. Now hurry up.’

As you and the demon began to coexist together within you, you did have to admit you still loved the way it made you feel; sexy, confident, ambitious. That did not stop you from scheduling an exorcism with a priest that you had met once. You were desperate to get back to normal before Gerard noticed, but you were too late.

One night you both lay panting, coming down from yet another passionate moment together. You were curled against Gerard’s side as he lit himself a cigarette.

“(YN), can I ask you something? And please don’t take it the wrong way,” he asked tentatively.

“Sure,” you asked with your brow furrowed.

“You know I love you, completely and totally with all my heart forever, but this last week you’ve been…”

“Different?”

“Yea,” he answered.

“Is that a bad thing?” You asked looking up at him.

‘If he says yes, don’t worry we can go after that sexy brother of his’ the demon taunted, and you bit your tongue to keep from telling it off.

“Not at all!” He replied, looking worried that he said the wrong thing. “I love this… sexier side that seems to be coming out, I just want to make sure you’re ok.”

You chuckled darkly. “Oh, you know, just possessed by an apparently sex crazed demon, but other than that, I’m fine.”

Gerard laughed heartily before putting out the cigarette and getting out of bed. “That’s a good idea for a comic,” he called as he made his way into the bathroom.

“Let me know if you need any ideas,” you muttered.

‘So you’re gonna cancel that exorcism?’

“No,” you grumbled

‘But he loves you even more since you let me in, and you told him, and he doesn’t even mind. Come on, let me stick around, you know I’m keeping things interesting.’

You actually considered the demon’s words for a moment. “Fine. I’ll cancel it.”

“Cancel what?” Gerard asked as he came back out of the bathroom.

“Exorcism,” you said with a shrug.

Gerard laughed again as he got into bed and pulled you close. “You’re so funny, sugar. I love you,” he said as he placed a kiss on your head. For a moment you held your breath, but he missed the small horns that had grown sharper in the days since they had emerged. “I could spend forever like this, just you and me.”

“Me too,” you replied looking up at him with a smile and he leaned down and kissed you passionately.

‘Me three.’

#gerard way x reader #gerard way fan fic #gerard way fan fiction #gerard way imagine #my chemical romance fan fic #my chemical romance fan fiction #gerard way x demon reader

38 notes · View notes

rebellect-writes · 4 years

Text

[SIZE=1][b]Name:[/b] Jess. [b]Age:[/b] An imaginary number! [b]What happened?:[/b] GH, she’s evil...and I like his hair.

[b]Name:[/b] Hunter Burnett. [b]Nicknames & Aliases:[/b][LIST]Uncle Jordon. Jordan Burnett. Hunter Jordan. [/LIST][b]Age:[/b] 286 [b]Date of Birth:[/b] June 4th, 1725. [b]Age at Death:[/b] 28. [b]Gender:[/b] Male. [b]Sexual Orientation:[/b] Questionable. [b]Occupation:[/b] Jack of all trades.

[b]Bloodline:[/b] Beast Master. [b]Power Level:[/b] Adult [s]Kiss[/s]. [b]Mind-Set:[/b] Both. [b]Animal to Call:[/b] None. [b]Powers:[/b] [LIST] [*] Heightened senses, reflexes, healing and strength. [*] Bite...If he enters the persons mind when feeding, he can make it less painful and more enjoyable. He doesn’t most of the time. [*] Empathy, he can smell some strong emotions like fear, rage, anger, lust. Since he’s of Padma’s bloodline, he’s also got a slight empathy to all animals. [*]Enthralling/rolling, he can only get this right with weaker shifters and normal humans. Anything stronger can break free. [*] Glamour, he can switch small things about him. Make his hair darker, eyes brighter, on will. [/LIST][b]Rank:[/b] Rogue. He can be tempted by the Kiss though.

[b]Face Claim:[/b] Gerard Way. [b]Description:[/b] [IMG]http://i325.photobucket.com/albums/k361/Mychemicalromance55_photos/mychem313.jpg[/IMG] [i]Height:[/i] 5’10 [i]Weight:[/i] 151lbs [i]Eyes:[/i] Hazel brown. [i]Hair:[/i] He’s a dyer. Naturally, it’s [URL=http://img.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/7/5/3/9/1/6/1/orig-7539161.jpg]black, he’s [/URL] gone [URL=http://quizilla.teennick.com/user_images/A/AM/AMU/AMUANDIKUTO4EVA/1264970042_5386_full.jpeg]blonde[/URL] in the past, but he’s currently sporting [URL=http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/19400000/Gerard-way-my-chemical-romance-19400197-467-700.jpg]red.[/URL] [i]Build:[/i] Average and lean. [i]Visible marks:[/i] He has a Crucifix burn mark on his left shoulder. [i]Style:[/i] Hunter likes to be comfortable. Since he travels a lot, he’s ditched the formal wear that he used to love and taken to jeans, t-shirts, a nice pair of boots. You name it, he’ll wear it. That doesn’t mean he won’t go back to formal(ish) wear.

[b]Special Skills:[/b][LIST] [*] Can speak pretty decent Spanish and French, well enough to get him by. [*] Not so much a fighter, more of a scrapper when it comes to combat. [*] Good with a knife or any type of blade, if being armed is what's needed. [/LIST][b]Personality:[/b][LIST]Hunter isn’t as complicated as most people would think. He’s a fairly easy going guy that likes to have a laugh and being a vampire nearly 300 years old hasn’t changed that, and why should it? Just because he’s dead doesn’t mean he has to be a mopey Annie, he enjoys his unlife. He doesn’t judge people right off the bat and he’s willing to give them a choice to show their true colours before passing judgement and moving on with his life. He just understands that not everyone choses to be who they’ve become, or what they’ve become. Caring and nurturing – it comes with raising a boisterous were-puppy -, he’s got the patience of a saint at times and it’s hard to push him into snapping but not impossible.

Other vampires, more to the point the older kind, scare him and because of that he respects them a hell of a lot. He’s fine with anyone younger but the older ones make the hair on the back of his neck crawl. He knows he’s got to play it careful with the elders of his kind, they could easily shred him a new one if they wanted and to top that off he’s trespassing on an occupied territory. In some places that would have ended with his heart and head removed. Shape shifters are awesome; he’d rather run with someone that was furry inclined then spend time around his own kind. Maybe it’s because of his bloodline, he’s never worked it out, but if Hunter comes across a shape shifter in need, he’ll lend a hand. Humans are the same, as long as they’re not trying to stick a bullet or stake into him, he’s dandy.

He’s extremely protective of Grey, and has bled for his “nephew”, to the point that he has killed for him. Hunter would walk over broken glass if he had to, to make sure that Grey was comfortable, and he’d go without clothes on his back to make sure that Grey had what he needs. Does he love him? Yes. He’s been there since day one, and while it may seem a little odd to some but that’s just the way it is and the hand that Hunter’s been dealt. They’re not related by blood after all so it’s nothing incestuous despite the fact that he regularly refers to Grey as his “nephew” outside of the few people that Hunter can call friend. There blames himself for the death of his “family”, and he believes that he failed his friend from all those years ago, and it gnaws at him at times when he’s not really paying attention to what’s going on around him. [/LIST][b]Likes:[/b][LIST] [*] Being alive...Well, undead and alive. You get the picture. [*] His [URL=http://www.musclecarclub.com/musclecars/pontiac-firebird/images/pontiac-firebird-1968c.jpg]car[/URL]...Well, technically it's Grey's car now. [*] Living under the radar. [*] Keeping Grey safe, even if Grey doesn't always know it. [*] Wandering the coast at night. [*] When it's not to hot or to cold. [*] Playing games on his phone when he's bored. [*] Watching people. [/LIST][b]Dislikes:[/b] [LIST] [*] Following other people’s rules. [*] Wearing suits. Though he does it occasionally. [*] Being hunted like a dog. [*] Seeing Grey struggle with something. [*] Driving in the rain. [*] Seeing animals abused. (This includes shifters, as well.) [*] Pushing to get what he wants. [*] Being dragged into the spotlight, so to speak. [/LIST][b]Strengths:[/b][LIST] [*] Strong willed. [*] High pain tolerance. [*] Won't hesitate to get things done. [*] Grey. [*] Somehow manages to keep Grey calm when he's all worked up. [/LIST][b]Weaknesses:[/b][LIST] [*] Can't enter a person’s house without permission from the owner. Has killed because of this. [*] Normal vampire restrictions and weaknesses. Fire, sunlight, Holy items. [*] Grey! He failed his adopted family, he won't fail Grey. [*] Doesn't always feed right. A little taste here and there, just to hold him over. [*]Stubbornly persistent at times. It’s been known to get him into trouble. [/LIST][b]History:[/b]

When former British Naval officer turned pirate William Morgan found out that the tavern wench, Carmella, that he visited regularly was pregnant with his supposed spawn, he up rooted the poor woman and dragged her all the way from her home in Maracaibo to his home city of London, and in the early summer of 1725, Hunter was pushed screaming into the world and was welcomed with somewhat open arms. Carmella died from a fever and child birth complicates according to the back street midwife that William had paid to help deliver his son, and she wasn’t mourned. William wanted a son, not a wife or a real family, and he already had plenty of mistresses across many main trade routes waiting for him so one whore dead was no skin off his nose to see her buried in an unmarked grave just outside of the city.

For Hunter though, it meant something different. Since William didn’t haul the boy out to sea with him, he was left from the moment he could walk with William’s sister, Cassandra. She was nice enough, and made sure that her brother’s son was fed and looked after, but that was it. There wasn’t a maternal bone in the woman’s body, and Hunter grew to know this very well, especially when he got hurt and all she did was pour boiling hot salt water over his cuts and scrapes and scolded him for being irresponsible before always telling him the same story about how his father would be so disappointed and when he came back from his trip then she would tell him of all the bad things that Hunter had done. If anything that was what made him wish for his father’s return all the more, simply so he could meet the man even if he was to be scolded for being a typical boy. He was nine when William came back to London, and upon first meeting him, Hunter was scared. Worse yet, Cassandra lied through her back teeth to get Hunter out of her house and William had no choice but to agree after giving the boy a beating for causing his beloved sister so much trouble. Fear turned to twisted joy, and the following day he was dragged out of one life and into something...better. He’d always wanted to see new places, meet new people and have an adventure. He wasn’t disappointed either, so he waved good bye to England and followed his father like a loyal little puppy.

By the time Hunter twenty one years old, he returned to London under an assumed name of Jordan Hunter. William had died in a raid on a tavern in Panama nearly two years previous and it was that loss that had him seeking something else. It was his father that had taught him everything that he had known, and without him, well, Hunter saw no point in staying on as a pirate and that was a bit cowardly in itself and went against everything in him for the most part. Besides, piracy had been a dying art for years before his father had taken him away from Cassandra at the age of nine, but it was well and truly dead by the time he returned those thirteen years later with more knowledge of the world and with more than a few secrets and tricks up his sleeves. No doubt there was a noose waiting for him somewhere as well. A few weeks upon his return, he found out that Cassandra had moved to the country because of her health, and instead of tracking her down, Hunter decided to stay in the city and it took a year of roughing it out, but eventually he found his feet so to speak in a classy tavern come whore house in South London. He was to look after the working girls, make sure that they were treated somewhat correctly and if a John thought he could get away with something that the Lady of the house didn’t like, and then he was to deal with it and make sure that it wouldn’t happen again. Simple, really. Right? Right! It was something he could do with little to no trouble, because half the time the punters abided by the rules and Hunter became somewhat of a ghost, only appearing when trouble kicked off over the next few years.

Twenty six, almost twenty seven years old, and surprised that he’d lasted that long in anyone one job, Hunter made the mistake of stepping in to stop some high Lord from doing some serious damage to a girl named Mary, a new addition to the household. She was a sweet lass that was a little ditzy in Hunt’s opinion but she didn’t deserve the ever living Hell kicked out of her because someone had shot his ... pistol ... too early and in the wrong place. Mary was only eighteen at the time. Not liking it, the gentleman turned on Hunter in a rage but the Mistress of the house stepped in before it got too out of hand and warned the male away with the threat that he’d no longer be welcome in any brothel in the city if he didn’t leave. Luckily, the gentleman had some sense and left. That night, after a talk with the Mistress, Hunter became the unofficial career for some of the younger girls and that suited him fine. The ‘business’ was changing after all; he’d seen it rise up from a tavern where anyone could get what they wanted to something more refined. The year following, Hunter got close to Mary and as unwise as it was, he wouldn’t have changed it for the world. They just clicked. However, the good times weren’t something that just wasn’t meant to be. Lord Jennings came back on evening with his friends and they flashed a lot of money around. The Mistress, Emily as she was known, had no choice but to serve the ingrates, but she warned Hunter to be on the lookout for trouble as well as the more senior girls and staff. Mary was one of the unlucky girls that were called on to serve the gentlemen and while Hunter didn’t particularly like it, he had no choice but to let it happen. It wasn’t until later that night that Jennings changed from a rich snob to something else, something from the pits of Hell itself when the Mistress refused him personal service. For poor Hunter, it was like some of the stories he’d heard on his ‘travel’ made real.

The Mistress and Jennings tore into each other with fangs, two of Jennings friends turned into monstrous wolf like beasts that lunged for the closest living body that was near them, another turned into a snake-man. If that wasn’t bad enough, some of the girls turned to. Great cats attacked the wolf men, and those that didn’t transform tore into them with fangs. It seemed that Hunter was the only human amidst the nightmare, and after a moment’s hesitation he was spurred into action by something that he considered even worse. Mary had been cornered by a rabid creature, some kind of man-dog thing and Hunter didn’t hesitate in trying to defend her. One almighty smack across the back of his head sent him flying into the path of another monstrosity. Jennings. The vampire male had split from the Mistress and left her bleeding and broken on the floor and took after the disorientated Hunter, and the last thing that Hunter saw before the world went black was Jennings fangs.

He woke up three nights later, chained at the wrists and ankles in the houses cellar with no idea what had happened to him or the others. He’d never been to the lower levels of the house before, hadn’t wanted to, but the coffins lining the wall made him tremble. If it hadn’t been for the Mistress Emily who was in a similar position to him and trying to calm him down, Hunter would have found a way to raise unholy hell. The hunger he felt would have driven him to doing it anyway, but from what he was being told there was just something distracting about it. Jennings had turned him to spite the Mistress, who was in fact Jennings own wife and his former fledgling. Talk about having your mind blown open. Hunter had worked for Mistress Emily for nearly a decade and he’d never once thought of her as someone’s wife. He certainly hadn’t thought of her as a vampire either! The nightly sightings had been written off as being selective with her cliental but that was it, especially since she had more than enough people working for her to get whatever was needed during the day done. It was so crazy that it actually made sense to him. Hunter just didn't accept it fully until Jennings finally gave both of his 'toys' an audience and by then it was too late for him and Mistress Emily as they both listened to the Master vampire rage about how he hadn't wanted to take over Emily's life again, but the insults that he got because of her reputation had been too much for him as it had started to affect his business dealings in the city. It was time to bring his wife to heel! Back to her place at his side, even if he had to destroy everything that she had built during their ‘separation’ as he called it.

After Emily was beaten into submission verbally by her husband, Jennings turned on Hunter, simply because he’d stood up for one of Emily’s girls. As a lesson to his new fledgling, Jennings tore the throat out of one of the girls that Hunter had promised to look after in front of both of his ‘children’. The scent of blood drove Hunter wild, pushed him past being human to a place where only the blood mattered. Jennings let him loose and the only thing that Hunter cared about was the blood that was draining from the girl’s throat and he fell on her, feeding on what was left. Emily tried to bring him back to her, back to being human, back to being Hunter, and she almost succeeded by sheer force of will but at the end of the day, Jennings had his claws in Hunter and he also had Emily right where he wanted her and it was like that for nearly twenty years before anything changed. He didn’t go around as Jennings ‘servant’, he became Hunter again, all because he found out that Mary – who had because Emily’s maid more than a prostitute – had become pregnant with a child to one of Jennings shape shifter friends, a weredog, just like she was. What made Hunter more surprised than suspicious was that Mary claimed she was in love with the male, and there hadn’t been any force involved. He had no option but to agree when he saw what she was like around him. If only he knew how Jennings would react ahead of time, maybe he’d have been able to stop his sire for doing something stupid.

The birth was complicated. Mistress Emily had taken over the proceedings as midwife while Lord Archibald paced in the hallway waiting to see if he had a son or a daughter. Hunter did as he was told, fetched water and towels and was the perfect little man servant. It was on his second trip up from the kitchens that he found Master Jennings had returned early from a business trip – much to everyone’s surprise – and had found out what was happening. He flew into a rage unlike Hunter had ever seen before, and turned on the vulnerable Mary screaming and cursing that she was ruining the bed. Archibald and Emily lunged to keep him away from the woman and Hunter was the one that had to finish delivering the baby and even though he had no idea what he was doing and there was a battle raging behind him, between him and Mary, the young shapeshifter was brought into the world kicking and screaming. It should’ve been a happy moment, and it was, in a way, but one moment Hunter was on his feet and the next he was collapsing and clutching at his chest. He didn’t know that Emily had taken Jennings head clean off his shoulders, leaving Archibald to deal with the rest. A life for a life, the baby was alive and Hunter was dying for a second time. It was a good exchange in Hunters eyes. However it wasn't in Emily's. She blood oathed him to herself in a last ditch attempt to save his life and she almost lost him. Almost. To them, Jennings had never returned home that day and the never mentioned him again.

Excitement over, the vampires became unspoken godparents to the child that had been named Thomas, and they watched as he grew up and his parents passed on seventy years later. Hunter was barely past his first century of un-life and could have done anything or gone anywhere, but a bond of friendship kept him there. Even after Emily finally grew bored with watching out for her friend’s children and their children’s children and moved on, Hunter stuck around keeping tabs on the closest thing that he had to a family. He became an unspoken Uncle. Sure, he was sad to see Emily go but he just couldn’t do it, and wouldn’t do it for all the tea in China. The only problem was that since his Mistress had left to find something else to occupy her, Hunter had to be careful. It wasn’t right for a “rogue” vampire to wander into Kiss’ territories unannounced, and feeding in a territory that was controlled by a Master vampire was even more dangerous for him. So he crept around the territory lines, nibbled rather than fed, and vanished when there was any sign of trouble headed his way. It wasn’t a perfect life, but it was his to do with as he wished.

He travelled a bit even though he kept in contact since some of the weredog’s that came and went didn’t seem to like him being close to them or their kin. He dropped out of contact for sixty years at one point because he’d been focused on getting a job and getting some money put away in case he ever needed it, and he did get a bit put away for a rainy day. When he finally came back into contact with the dogs and a lot had changed, Hunter was only glad that he could come back in time to see Grey born and could be in the kids life from the start rather than coming in later and getting growled at by someone. He wouldn’t admit it, but Hunter had been growing tired of everything, those sixty years before Grey’s birth had been tiresome and Hunter hadn’t been able to see the point in trying anymore, but things were oddly different now. So he became Uncle Hunter to Grey and for the first year and a half everything was grand, there wasn’t any trouble that they couldn’t get passed. He should’ve known that it would change though, one night hunters tracked down the family of weredogs and slaughtered them all. Hunter had been out feeding in the main town, rather than staying at the family home that night. He got there too late to save anyone, but he did find Grey stashed away in the cupboard under the stairs. After leaving an anonymous 999 call, Hunter left with Grey; the only thing on his mind was how it would look if the police turned up and found him standing amongst the bodies of his family. It would’ve looked liked he’d done it rather than a roving gang of murderers that pretended to be on a mission from God to destroy monsters

So, they travelled for a bit together. Scotland, Ireland, the States, you name it. It was a bit tricky for Hunter, having to explain why Grey wasn’t in school and what not, but he passed it off as him being in private education. People tended to leave them alone once they heard that, but Hunter – who was going as Jordon at the time – dealt with it and made sure Grey wasn’t affected much. Around about the time that Grey hit fifteen years of age, the kid went through his first shape shift. Hunter was glad of this, even though Grey pretty much freaked out over the fact it was a dog form rather than something fancy like a wolf or bear, but that pretty much sorted itself out when Hunter told him that he turned into a [i]big[/i] dog. Since Hunter had pretty much dragged Grey to the states to make sure no one found out that he was a weredog and could connect him to the family tragedy, it was time to come back home to the UK but not before Hunter paid a few of his old Mistress’s ‘friends’ to find out what had happened all those years before. What was turned up was just a little disturbing to say the least. A rogue sect of Human against Vampires had killed Hunters family all that time ago because of him, and it tore him up inside to learn this.

Four years later, the nightmare came back to finish what was started. Grey was nineteen and Hunter was, well, typical dorky Hunter over a movie night when their little rented house was raided. Hunter told Grey to run as he took one of the humans out before swiftly following. It was only later when they met up on the outside of town to watch their house go up in flames that Hunter realized just how important Grey was to him. It was little too late though, the hunters found them and Hunter threw himself at the lot of them so Grey could runaway and that he’d catch up with him later. What Hunter didn’t want Grey to see was him tearing into the crew of slayers with a rage he didn’t even know existed until he saw their leering grins. Throats game out between fangs, silver bullets hit home weakening him more and more until eventually he was left broken on the floor. Rather than kill him out right like anyone sane would do, they hauled his mangled body to a lock up, told him that he was going to be used as an example for monsters in the area.

Now a vampire can take a lot of damage, they beat him, starved him, and threatened to burn his face off with holy water, you name it, and Hunter dealt with it. He even got a pretty cross shaped scar for mouthing off to a chick that obviously wasn’t getting any at home. It wasn’t until two weeks into this Hell that things got interesting. They started bringing in animals for him to feed off, dogs, cats, rats, hell even some idiot brought him a goat. Rather than feed though, he manipulated the animals even though it cost him. A dog would bite here; a cat would take a swipe at someone’s face. It was worth it because one of the punks came close enough for Hunter to snag him by the throat and tore into it, draining the life from the slayer. All he wanted was the blood at first, but the keys to the pretty jeep and his chains were a bonus. Using the animals as a diversion, Hunter got out of the waterside warehouse and the hell out of dodge. Even though it took him a couple of more weeks to track Grey down, he wasn’t in any state to confront the young weredog. He did however stick close to Grey, more a silent uncle that was heard rather than seen. While he was healing up and Grey was getting on with life, Hunter found out that HAV had found Grey in London. Seeing red, he went straight to Grey’s flat and broke in, he wasn’t going to beat around the bush and told Grey everything that he knew before dragging him out of there and telling Grey’s neighbours that there were trouble makers on the way and that they should call the police because there would be guns! Well, as you can imagine it wasn’t the best reunion and Hunter would’ve done anything to make it better except he couldn’t. All he could do was point Grey in the direction of Jackford with a promise that he’d follow him after he gave the slayers some new tails to chase, and he did.[/SIZE]

1 note · View note

grigori77 · 4 years

Text

2019 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 3)

10. HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON: THE HIDDEN WORLD – while I love Disney and Pixar as much as the next movie nut, since the Millennium my loyalty has been slowly but effectively usurped by the consistently impressive (but sometimes frustratingly underappreciated) output of Dreamworks Animation Studios, and in recent years in particular they really have come to rival the House of Mouse in both the astounding quality of their work and their increasing box office reliability. But none of their own franchises (not even Shrek or Kung Fu Panda) have come CLOSE to equalling the sheer, unbridled AWESOMENESS of How to Train Your Dragon, which started off as a fairly loose adaptation of Cressida Cowell’s popular series of children’s stories but quickly developed a very sharp mind of its own – the first two films were undisputable MASTERPIECES, and this third and definitively FINAL chapter in the trilogy matches them to perfection, as well as capping the story off with all the style, flair and raw emotional power we’ve come to expect. The time has come to say goodbye to diminutive Viking Hiccup (Jay Baruchel, as effortlessly endearing as ever) and his adorable Night Fury mount/best friend Toothless, fiancée Astrid (America Ferrera, still tough, sassy and WAY too good for him), mother Valka (Cate Blanchett, classy, wise and still sporting a pretty flawless Scottish accent) and all the other Dragon Riders of the tiny, inhospitable island kingdom of Berk – their home has become overpopulated with scaly, fire-breathing denizens, while a trapper fleet led by the fiendish Grimmel the Grisly (F. Murray Abraham delivering a wonderfully soft-spoken, subtly chilling master villain) is beginning to draw close, prompting Hiccup to take up his late father Stoick (Gerard Butler returning with a gentle turn that EASILY prompts tears and throat-lumps) the Vast’s dream of finding the fabled “Hidden World”, a mysterious safe haven for dragon-kind where they can be safe from those who seek to do them harm. But there’s a wrinkle – Grimmel has a new piece of bait, a female Night Fury (or rather, a “Light Fury”), a major distraction that gets Toothless all hot and bothered … returning writer-director Dean DeBlois has rounded things off beautifully with this closer, giving loyal fans everything they could ever want while also introducing fresh elements such as intriguing new environments, characters and species of dragons to further enrich what is already a powerful, intoxicating world for viewers young and old (I particularly love Craig Ferguson’s ever-reliable comic relief veteran Viking Gobber’s brilliant overreactions to a certain adorably grotesque little new arrival), and like its predecessors this film is just as full of wry, broad and sometimes slightly (or not so slightly) absurd humour and deep down gut-twisting FEELS as it is of stirring, pulse-quickening action sequences and sheer, jaw-dropping WONDER, so it’s as nourishing to our soul as it is to our senses. From the perfectly-pitched, cheekily irreverent opening to the truly devastating, heartbreaking close, this is EXACTLY the final chapter we’ve always dreamed of, even if it does hurt to see this most beloved of screen franchises go. It’s been a wild ride, and one that I think really does CEMENT Dreamworks’ status as one of the true giants of the genre …

9. TERMINATOR: DARK FATE – back in 1984, James Cameron burst onto the scene with a stone-cold PHENOMENON, a pitch-perfect adrenaline-fuelled science fiction survival horror that spawned a million imitators but has never truly been equalled. Less than a decade later, he revisited that universe with a much bigger and far bolder vision, creating an epic action adventure that truly changed blockbuster cinema for the better (or perhaps worse, depending on how you want to look at it), but, with its decidedly final, full-stop climax, also effectively rendered itself sequel-proof. Except that Hollywood had other ideas, the unstoppable money machine smelling potential profit and deciding to milk this particular cash cow for all it was worth – on the small screen, it was the impressive but ultimately intrinsically limited Sarah Connor Chronicles, while on the big screen they cranked out THREE MORE sequels, Sony Pictures starting with straightforward retread Rise of the Machines and following with post-apocalyptic marmite movie Salvation, while Twentieth Century Fox then tried a sort-of soft reboot follow-up to T2 in Genisys. These were all interesting in their own way (personally, I like them all, particularly Salvation), but ultimately suffered from diminishing returns and whiffed strongly of trying too hard without quite getting the point. Cameron himself had long since washed his hands of the whole affair, and it looked like that might well be it … but then Skydance Productions founder David Ellison thought up a new take to breathe much needed new life into the franchise, and enlisted Cameron’s help to usher it in properly, with Deadpool director Tim Miller the intriguing but ultimately inspired choice to helm the project. The end result wisely chooses to paint right over all the pretenders, kicking off right where Judgement Day left off, and as well as Cameron being heavily involved in the story itself, draws another ace with the long-awaited ON-SCREEN return of Linda Hamilton in the role that’s pretty much defined her career, hardboiled survivor Sarah Connor. I’ll leave the details of her return for newcomers to discover, suffice to say she gets caught up in the chase when a new, MUCH more advanced terminator is sent back in time to kill unassuming young Mexican factory worker Dani Ramos (Natalia Reyes). Of course, the future resistance has once again sent a protector back to watch her back, Grace (Blade Runner 2049’s Mackenzie Davis), a cybernetically-enhanced super-soldier specifically outfitted to combat terminators, who reluctantly agrees to team up with the highly experienced Sarah in order to keep Dani alive. Arnold Schwarzenegger once again returns to the role that truly made him a star (of course, how could he not?), and he for one has clearly not lost ANY of his old love or enthusiasm for playing the old T-800, but revealing exactly HOW he comes into the story this time would give away too much; the new terminator, meanwhile, is brilliantly portrayed by Gabriel Luna (probably best known for playing Ghost Rider in Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD), who brings predatory menace and an interesting edge of subtle, entitled arrogance to the role of Rev-9. Ultimately though, this is very much the ladies’ film, the three leads dominating the action and drama both as they kick-ass and verbally spar in equal measure, their chemistry palpably strong throughout – Hamilton is as badass as ever, making Sarah even more of a take-no-shit survivalist burnout than she ever was in T2, and she’s utterly mesmerising in what’s EASILY her best turn in YEARS, while Reyes goes through an incredible transformative character arc as she’s forced to evolve from terrified salary-girl to proto she-warrior through several pleasingly organic steps … my greatest pleasure, however, definitely comes from watching Mackenzie Davis OWN the role of Grace, investing her with an irresistible mixture of icy military precision, downright feral mother lion ferocity and a surprisingly sweet innocence buried underneath all the bravado, thus creating one of my favourite ass-kicking heroines not just for the year but this past decade entirely. Unsurprisingly, in the hands of old hand Tim Miller (working from a screenplay headlined by Blade and Batman Begins scribe David Goyer) this is a pulse-pounding thrill ride that rarely lets its foot up off the pedal, but thankfully the action is ALWAYS in service to the story, each precision-crafted set piece engineered to perfection as we power through high speed chases, explosive shootouts and a succession of bruising heavy metal smackdowns, but thankfully there’s just as much attention paid to the characters and the story – given the familiarity of the tale there’s inevitably a certain predictability to events, but Miller and co. still pull off a few deftly handled surprise twists, while character development always feels organic. Best of all, this genuinely feels like a legitimate part of the original Terminator franchise, Cameron and Hamilton’s returns having finally brought back the old magic that’s been missing for so long. I’d definitely be willing to sign up for more of this – such a shame then that, thanks to the film’s frustrating underperformance at the box office, it looks like this is gonna be it after all. Damn it …

8. DOCTOR SLEEP – first up, before I say anything else about this latest Stephen King screen adaptation, I HAVE NOT yet got round to reading the original novel yet, so I can’t speak to how it compares. That said, I HAVE read The Shining, to which the book is a direct sequel, so I DO know about at least one of the major, KEY changes, and besides, this is actually a sequel to Stanley Kubrick’s MOVIE of The Shining, which differed significantly from its own source material anyway, so there’s that … yeah, this is a complicated kettle of fish even BEFORE we get down to the details. Suffice to say, you don’t have to have read the book to get this movie, but a working knowledge of Kubrick’s horror classic may at least help you get some context before watching this … anyways, enough with the confusion, on to the meat of the matter – this is a CRACKING horror movie by any stretch, and, for me, one of the strongest King horrors to make it to the big screen in quite some time. Of course it helps no end to have a filmmaker of MAJOR calibre at the helm, and there are few working in horror at the moment with whom I am quite so impressed as Mike Flanagan, writer-director of two of this past decade’s definitive horrors (at least for me), Oculus and Hush, as well as a BLINDING TV series adaptation of The Haunting of Hill House for Netflix – the man is an absolute master of the craft, incredibly skilled with all the tricks of this particular genre’s trade, and, as it turns out, a perfect fit with King’s material. Following on from The Shining, then, we learn what happened to the kid, Danny Torrance, after he and his mother left the Overlook Hotel in the wake of his father’s psychotic break driven by monstrous apparitions “living” in the cursed halls, following him from childhood as he initially shuns the psychic gifts (or “shine”) he was taught to use by the hotel’s late caretaker, Dick Halloran. It’s only in later years, as he fights to overcome his alcoholism and self-destructive lifestyle, that he reconnects with that power, just in time to discover psychic “pen-pal” Abra Stone, an immensely powerful young psychic. Which leads us to the present day, when Abra, now a teenager, becomes the target of the True Knot, a group of psychic vampires who travel America hunting and killing young people with psychic abilities in order to consume their “smoke” (basically the stuff of their “shines”), thus expanding their already unnatural lifespans – they’re tracking Abra, and they’re getting close, and only her “Uncle Dan” can save her from them. Ewan McGregor is PERFECT as the grown-up Dan, delivering one of his career-best turns as he captures the world-weary seriousness of someone who’s seen, felt and had to do things no-one should, especially when he was so very young, the kinds of things that colour a soul for their entire life, and he’s clearly DESPERATE not to become his father; newcomer Kyleigh Curran, meanwhile, is an absolute revelation as Abra, bringing depth and weight far beyond her years to the role, but never losing sight of the fact that, under all the power, she’s ultimately still just a child; there are also excellent supporting turns from the likes of Cliff Curtis as Dan’s best friend and AA sponsor Billy Freeman, Zahn McClarnon (Longmire, Fargo season 2) and Emily Lind (Revenge, Code Black) as True Knot members Crow Daddy and Snakebite Annie, and Carl Lumbly (Cagney & Lacey, TV’s Supergirl), who beautifully replaces deceased original actor Scatman Crothers in the role of Dick. The film’s tour-de-force performance, however, comes from Rebecca Ferguson as Rose the Hat, leader of the True Knot – they’re an intriguing bunch of villains, very well written and fleshed out, and it’s clear they have genuine love for one another, like a real family, which makes it hard not to sympathise with them a little bit, and this is none more true than in Rose, whom Ferguson invests with so much light and warmth and intriguing, complex character, as well as a fantastic streak of playful mischief that makes her all the more riveting in those times when they then turn around and do some truly heinous, unforgivable things … as horror movies go this is the cream of the crop, but Flanagan has purposefully kept away from jump scares and the more flashy stuff, preferring, like Kubrick in The Shining, to let the insidious darkness bubble up underneath good and slow, drawing out the creepiness and those most unsettling, twisted little touches the author himself is always so very good at. Intent can be such a scary thing, and Flanagan gets it, so that’s just what he uses here. As a result this is a fantastic slow-burn creep-fest that constantly works its way deeper under your skin, building to a phenomenal climax that, (perversely) thanks in no small part to the differences between both novels and films, pays as much loving tribute to Kubrick’s visionary landmark as the original novel of The Shining. For me, this is Flanagan’s best film to date, and as far as Stephen King adaptations go I consider this to be right up there with the likes of The Mist and The Green Mile. Best of all, I think he’d be proud of it too …

7. SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME – summer 20019 was something of a decompression period for fans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, with many of us recovering from the sheer emotional DEVASTATION of the grand finale of Phase 3, Avengers: Endgame, so the main Blockbuster Season’s entry really needed to be light and breezy, a blessed relief after all that angst and loss, much like Ant-Man & the Wasp was last year as it followed Infinity War. And it is, by and large – this is as light-hearted and irreverent as its predecessor, following much the same goofy teen comedy template as Homecoming, but there’s no denying that there’s a definite emotional through-line from Endgame that looms large here, a sense of loss the film fearlessly addresses right from the start, sometimes with a bittersweet sense of humour, sometimes straight. But whichever path the narrative chooses, the film stays true to this underlying truth – there have been great and painful changes in this world, and we can’t go back to how it was before, no matter how hard we try, but then perhaps we shouldn’t. This is certainly central to our young hero’s central arc – Peter Parker (Tom Holland) is in mourning, and not even the prospect of a trip around Europe with his newly returned classmates, together with the chance to finally get close to M.J. (Zendaya), maybe even start a relationship, can entirely distract him from the gaping hole in his life. Still, he’s gonna give it his best shot, but it looks like fate has other plans for our erstwhile Spider-Man as superspy extraordinaire Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) comes calling, basically hijacking his vacation with an Avengers-level threat to deal with, aided by enigmatic inter-dimensional superhero Quentin Beck, aka Mysterio (Jake Gyllenhaal), who has a personal stake in the mission, but as he’s drawn deeper into the fray Peter discovers that things may not be quite as they seem. Of course, giving anything more away would of course dumps HEINOUS spoilers on the precious few who haven’t yet seen the film – suffice to say that the narrative drops a MAJOR sea-change twist at the midpoint that’s EVERY BIT as fiendish as the one Shane Black gave us in Iron Man 3 (although the more knowledgeable fans of the comics will likely see it coming), and also provides Peter with JUST the push he needs to get his priorities straight and just GET OVER IT once and for all. Tom Holland again proves his character is the most endearing teenage geek in cinematic history, his spectacular super-powered abilities and winning underdog perseverance in the face of impossible odds still paradoxically tempered by the fact he’s as loveably hopeless as ever outside his suit; Mysterio himself, meanwhile, frequently steals the film out from under him, the strong bromance they develop certainly mirroring what Peter had with Tony Stark, and it’s a major credit to Gyllenhaal that he so perfectly captures the essential dualities of the character, investing Beck with a roguish but subtly self-deprecating charm that makes him EXTREMELY easy to like, but ultimately belying something much more complex hidden beneath it; it’s also nice to see so many beloved familiar faces returning, particularly the fantastically snarky and self-assured Zendaya, Jacob Batalon (once again pure comedy gold as Peter’s adorably nerdy best friend Ned), Tony Revolori (as his self-important class rival Flash Thompson) and, of course, Marisa Tomei as the ever-pivotal Aunt May, as well as Jackson and Cobie Smoulders as dynamite SHIELD duo Fury and his faithful lieutenant Maria Hill, and best of all Jon Favreau gets a MUCH bigger role this time round as Happy Hogan. Altogether this is very much business as usual for the MCU, the well-oiled machine unsurprisingly turning out another near-perfect gem of a superhero flick that ticks all the required boxes, but a big part of the film’s success should be attributed to returning director Jon Watts, effectively building on the granite-strong foundations of Homecoming with the help of fellow alumni Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers on screenplay duty, for a picture that feels both comfortingly familiar and rewardingly fresh, delivering on all the required counts with thrilling action and eye candy spectacle, endearingly quirky character-based charm and a typically winning sense of humour, and plenty of understandably powerful emotional heft. And, like always, there are plenty of fan-pleasing winks and nods and revelations, and the pre-requisite mid- and post-credit teasers too, both proving to be some proper game-changing corkers. Another winner from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, then, but was there really ever any doubt?

6. US – back in 2017, Jordan Peele made the transition from racially-charged TV and stand-up comedy to astounding cinemagoers with stunning ease through his writer-director feature debut Get Out, a sharply observed jet black comedy horror with SERIOUS themes that was INSANELY well-received by audiences and horror fans alike. Peele instantly became ONE TO WATCH in the genre, so his follow-up feature had A LOT riding on it, but this equally biting, deeply satirical existential mind-bender is EASILY the equal of its predecessor, possibly even its better … giving away too much plot detail would do great disservice to the many intriguing, shocking twists on offer as middle class parents Adelaide and Gabe Wilson (Black Panther alumni Lupita Nyong’o and Winston Duke) take their children, Zora (Shahadi Wright Joseph) and Jason (Evan Alex), to Santa Cruz on vacation, only to step into a nightmare as a night-time visitation by a family of murderous doppelgangers signals the start of a terrifying supernatural revolution with potential nationwide consequences. The idea at the heart of this film is ASTOUNDINGLY original, quite an achievement in a genre where just about everything has been tried at least once, but it’s also DEEPLY subversive, as challenging and thought-provoking as the themes visited in Get Out, but also potentially even more wide-reaching. It’s also THOROUGHLY fascinating and absolutely TERRIFYING, a peerless exercise in slow-burn tension and acid-drip discomfort, liberally soaked in an oppressive atmosphere so thick you could choke on it if you’re not careful, such a perfect horror master-class it’s amazing that this is only Peele’s second FEATURE, never mind his sophomore offering IN THE GENRE. The incredibly game cast really help, too – the four leads are all EXCEPTIONAL, each delivering fascinatingly nuanced performances in startlingly oppositional dual roles as both the besieged family AND their monstrous doubles, a feat brilliantly mimicked by Mad Men and The Handmaid’s Tale-star Elisabeth Moss, Tim Heidecker and teen twins Cali and Noelle Sheldon as the Wilsons’ friends, the Tylers, and their similarly psychotic mimics. The film is DOMINATED, however, by Oscar-troubler Nyong’o, effortlessly holding our attention throughout the film with yet another raw, intense, masterful turn that keeps up glued to the screen from start to finish, even as the twists get weirder and more full-on brain-mashy. Of course, while this really is scary as hell, it’s also often HILARIOUSLY funny, Peele again poking HUGE fun at both his intended audience AND his allegorical targets, proving that scares often work best when twinned with humour. BY FAR the best thing in horror in 2019, Us shows just what a master of the genre Jordan Peele is, and it looks like he’s here to stay …

5. KNIVES OUT – with The Last Jedi, writer-director Rian Johnson divided audiences so completely that he seemed to have come perilously close to ruining his career. Thankfully, he’s a thick-skinned auteur with an almost ridiculous amount of talent, and he’s come bouncing back as strong as ever, doing what he does best. His big break feature debut was with Brick, a cult classic murder mystery that was, surprisingly, set in and around a high school, and his latest has some of that same DNA as Johnson crafts a fantastic sleuthy whodunit cast in the classic mould of Agatha Christie, albeit shot through with his own wonderfully eclectic verve, wit and slyly subversive streak. Daniel Craig holds court magnificently as quirky and flamboyant Deep South private detective Benoit Blanc, summoned to the home of newly-deceased star crime author Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer) to investigate his possible murder and faced with a veritable web of lies, deceit and twisting knives as he meets the maybe-victim’s extensive and INCREDIBLY dysfunctional family, all of whom are potential suspects. Craig is thoroughly mesmerising throughout, clearly having the time of his life in one of his career-best roles, while the narrative focus is actually, interestingly, given largely to Ana de Armas (Blade Runner 2049 and soon to be seen with Craig again in the latest Bond-flick No Time To Die), who proves equally adept at driving the film as Harlan’s sweet but steely and impressively resourceful nurse Marta Cabrera, whose own involvement in the case it would do the film a massive disservice to reveal. The rest of the Thrombey clan are an equally intriguing bunch, all played to the hilt by an amazing selection of heavyweight talent that includes Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Shannon, Toni Collette and It’s Jaeden Martell, but the film is, undeniably, DOMINATED by Chris Evans as Harlan’s black sheep grandson Ransom, the now former Captain America clearly enjoying his first major post-MCU role as he roundly steals every scene he’s in, effortlessly bringing back the kind of snarky, sarcastic underhanded arrogance we haven’t seen him play since his early career and entertaining us thoroughly. Johnson has very nearly outdone himself this time, weaving a gleefully twisty web of intrigue that viewers will take great pleasure in watching Blanc untangle, even if we’re actually already privy to (most of) the truth of the deed, and he pulls off some diabolical twists and turns as we rattle towards an inspired final reveal which genuinely surprises. He’s also generously smothered the film with oodles of his characteristically dry, acerbic wit, wonderfully tweaking many of the classic tropes of this familiar little sub-genre so this is at once a loving homage to the classics but also a sly, skilful deconstruction. Intriguing, compelling, enrapturing and often thoroughly hilarious, this is VERY NEARLY the best film he’s ever made. Only the mighty Looper remains unbeaten …

4. CAPTAIN MARVEL – before the first real main event of not only the year’s blockbusters but also, more importantly, 2019’s big screen MCU roster, Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige and co dropped a powerful opening salvo with what, it turns out, was the TRUE inception point of the Avengers Initiative and all its accompanying baggage (not Captain America: the First Avenger, as we were originally led to believe). For me, this is simply the MCU film I have MOST been looking forward to essentially since the beginning – the onscreen introduction of my favourite Avenger, former US Air Force Captain Carol Danvers, the TRUE Captain Marvel (no matter what the DC purists might say), who was hinted at in the post credits sting of Avengers: Infinity War but never actually seen. Not only is she the most powerful Avenger (sorry Thor, but it’s true), but for me she’s also the most badass – she’s an unstoppable force of (cosmically enhanced) nature, with near GODLIKE powers (she can even fly through space without needing a suit!), but the thing that REALLY makes her so full-on EPIC is her sheer, unbreakable WILL, the fact that no matter what’s thrown at her, no matter how often or how hard she gets knocked down, she KEEPS GETTING BACK UP. She is, without a doubt, the MOST AWESOME woman in the entire Marvel Universe, both on the comic page AND up on the big screen. Needless to say, such a special character needs an equally special actor to portray her, and we’re thoroughly blessed in the inspired casting choice of Brie Larson, who might as well have been purpose-engineered exclusively for this very role – she’s Carol Danvers stepped right out of the primary-coloured panels, as steely cool, unswervingly determined and strikingly statuesque as she’s always been drawn and scripted, with just the right amount of twinkle-eyed, knowing smirk and sassy humour to complete the package. Needless to say she’s the heart and soul of the film, a pure joy to watch throughout, but there’s so much more to enjoy here that this is VERY NEARLY the most enjoyable cinematic experience I had all year … writer-director double-act Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck may only be known for smart, humble indies like Half Nelson and Mississippi Grind, but they’ve taken to the big budget, all-action blockbuster game like ducks to water, co-scripting with Geneva Robertson-Dworet (writer of the Tomb Raider reboot movie and the long-gestating third Sherlock Holmes movie) to craft yet another pitch-perfect MCU origin story, playing a sneakily multilayered, misleading game of perception-versus-truth as we’re told how Carol got her powers and became the unstoppable badass supposedly destined to turn the tide in a certain Endgame … slyly rolling the clock back to the mid-90s, we’re presented with a skilfully realised mid-90s period culture clash adventure as Carol, a super-powered warrior fighting for the Kree Empire against the encroaching threat of the shape-shifting Skrulls, crash-lands in California and winds up uncovering the hidden truth behind her origins, with the help of a particular SHIELD agent, before he wound up with an eye-patch and a more cynical point-of-view – yup, it’s a younger, fresher Nick Fury (the incomparable Samuel L. Jackson, digitally de-aged with such skill it’s really just a pure, flesh-and-blood performance). There’s action, thrills, spectacle and (as always with the MCU) pure, skilfully observed, wry humour by the bucket-load, but one of the biggest strengths of the film is the perfectly natural chemistry between the two leads, Larson and Jackson playing off each other BEAUTIFULLY, no hint of romantic tension, just a playfully prickly, banter-rich odd couple vibe that belies a deep, honest respect building between both the characters and, clearly, the actors themselves. There’s also sterling support from Jude Law as Kree warrior Yon-Rogg, Carol’s commander and mentor, Ben Mendelsohn, slick, sly and surprisingly seductive (despite a whole lot of make-up) as Skrull leader Talos, returning MCU-faces Clark Gregg and Lee Pace as rookie SHIELD agent Phil Coulson (another wildly successful de-aging job) and Kree Accuser Ronan, Annette Bening as a mysterious face from Carol’s past and, in particular, Lashana Lynch (Still Star-Crossed, soon to be seen in No Time To Die) as Carol’s one-time best friend and fellow Air Force pilot Maria Rambeau, along with the impossibly adorable Akira Akbar as her precocious daughter Monica … that said, the film is frequently stolen by a quartet of ginger tabbies who perfectly capture fan-favourite Goose the “cat” (better known to comics fans as Chewie). This is about as great as the MCU standalone films get – for me it’s up there with the Russo’s Captain America films and Black Panther, perfectly pitched and SO MUCH FUN, but with a multilayered, monofilament-sharp intelligence that makes it a more cerebrally satisfying ride than most blockbusters, throwing us a slew of skilfully choreographed twists and narrative curveballs we almost never see coming, and finishing it off with a bucket-load of swaggering style and pure, raw emotional power (the film kicks right off with an incredibly touching, heartfelt tear-jerking tribute to Marvel master Stan Lee). Forget Steve Rogers – THIS is the Captain MCU fans need AND deserve, and I am SO CHUFFED they got my favourite Avenger so totally, perfectly RIGHT. I can die happy now, I guess …

3. JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3 – needless to say, those who know me should be in no doubt why THIS was at the top of my list for summer 2019 – this has EVERYTHING I love in movies and more. Keanu Reeves is back in the very best role he’s ever played, unstoppable, unbeatable, un-killable hitman John Wick, who, when we rejoin him mere moments after the end of 2017’s phenomenal Chapter 2, is in some SERIOUSLY deep shit, having been declared Incommunicado by the High Table (the all-powerful ruling elite who run this dark and deadly shadowy underworld) after circumstances forced him to gun down an enemy on the grounds of the New York Continental Hotel (the inviolable sanctuary safe-house for all denizens of the underworld), as his last remaining moments of peace tick away and he desperately tries to find somewhere safe to weather the initial storm. Needless to say the opening act of the film is ONE LONG ACTION SEQUENCE as John careers through the rain-slick streets of New York, fighting off attackers left and right with his signature brutal efficiency and unerring skill, perfectly setting up what’s to come – namely a head-spinning, exhausting parade of spectacular set pieces that each put EVERY OTHER offering in every other film this past year to shame. Returning director Chad Stahelski again proves that he’s one of the very best helmsmen around for this kind of stuff, delivering FAR beyond the call on every count as he creates a third entry to a series that continues to go from strength to strength, while Keanu once again demonstrates what a phenomenal screen action GOD he is, gliding through each scenario with poise, precision and just the right balance of brooding charm and so-very-done-with-this-shit intensity and a thoroughly enviable athletic physicality that really does put him on the same genre footing as Tom Cruise. As with the first two chapters, what plot there is is largely an afterthought, a facility to fuel the endless wave of stylish, wince-inducing, thoroughly exhilarating violent bloodshed, as John cuts another bloody swathe through the underworld searching for a way to remove the lethal bounty from his head while an Adjudicator from the High Table (Orange Is the New Black’s Asia Kate Dillon) arrives in New York to settle affairs with Winston (Ian McShane), the manager of the New York Continental, and the Bowery King (Laurence Fishburne) for helping John create this mess in the first place. McShane and Fishburne are both HUGE entertainment in their fantastically nuanced large-than-life roles, effortlessly stealing each of their scenes, while the ever-brilliant Lance Reddick also makes a welcome return as Winston’s faithful right-hand Charon, the concierge of the Continental, who finally gets to show off his own hardcore action chops when trouble arrives at their doorstep, and there are plenty of franchise newcomers who make strong impressions here – Dillon is the epitome of icy imperiousness, perfectly capturing the haughty superiority you’d expect from a direct representative of the High Table, Halle Berry gets a frustratingly rare opportunity to show just how seriously badass she can be as former assassin Sofia, the manager of the Casablanca branch of the Continental and one of John’s only remaining allies, Game of Thrones’ Jerome Flynn is smarmy and entitled as her boss Berrada, and Anjelica Houston is typically classy as the Director, the ruthless head of New York’s Ruska Roma (John’s former “alma mater”, basically). The one that REALLY sticks in the memory, though, is Mark Dacascos, finally returning to the big time after frustrating years languishing in lurid straight-to-video action dreck and lowbrow TV hosting duties thanks to a BLISTERING turn as Zero, a truly brilliant semi-comic creation who routinely runs away with the film – he’s the Japanese master ninja the Adjudicator tasks with dispensing her will, a thoroughly lethal killer who may well be as skilled as our hero, but his deadliness is amusingly tempered by the fact that he’s also a total nerd who HERO WORSHIPS John Wick, adorably geeking out whenever their paths cross. Their long-gestating showdown provides a suitably magnificent climax to the action, but there’s plenty to enjoy in the meantime, as former stuntman Stahelski and co keep things interestingly fluid as they constantly change up the dynamics and add new elements, from John using kicking horses in a stable and knives torn out of display cases in a weaponry museum to dispatch foes on the fly, through Sofia’s use of attack dogs to make the Moroccan portion particularly nasty and a SPECTACULAR high octane sequence in which John fights katana-wielding assailants on speeding motorcycles, to the film’s UNDISPUTABLE highlight, an astounding fight in which John takes on Zero’s disciples (including two of the most impressive guys from The Raid movies, Cecep Arif Rahman and Yayan Ruhian) in (and through) an expansive chamber made up entirely of glass walls and floors. Altogether then, this is business as usual for a franchise that’s consistently set the bar for the genre as a whole, an intensely bruising, blissfully blood-drenched epic that cranks its action up to eleven, shot with delicious neon-drenched flair and glossy graphic novel visual excess, a consistently inspired exercise in fascinating world-building that genuinely makes you want to live among its deadly denizens (even though you probably wouldn’t live very long). The denouement sets things up for an inevitable sequel, and I’m not at all surprised – right from the first film I knew the concept had legs, and it’s just too good to quit yet. Which is just how I like it …

2. AVENGERS: ENDGAME – the stars have aligned and everything is right with the world – the second half of the ridiculously vast, epic, nerve-shredding and gut-punching MCU saga that began with 2018’s Avengers: Infinity War has FINALLY arrived and it’s JUST AS GOOD as its predecessor … maybe even a little bit better, simply by virtue of the fact that (just about) all the soul-crushing loss and upheaval of the first film is resolved here. Opening shortly after the universally cataclysmic repercussions of “the Snap”, the world at large and the surviving Avengers in particular are VERY MUCH on the back foot as they desperately search for a means to reverse the damage wrought by brutally single-minded cosmic megalomaniac Thanos and his Infinity Stone-powered gauntlet – revealing much more dumps so many spoilers it’s criminal to continue, so I’ll simply say that their immediate plan really DOESN’T work out, leaving them worse off than ever. Fast-forward five years and the universe is a very different place, mourning what it’s lost and torn apart by grief-fuelled outbursts, while our heroes in particular are in various, sometimes better, but often much worse places – Bruce Banner/the Hulk (Mark Ruffallo) has found a kind of peace that’s always eluded him before, but Thor (Chris Hemsworth) really is a MESS, while Clint Barton/Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) has gone to a VERY dark place indeed. Then Ant-Man Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) finds a way back from his forced sojourn in the Quantum Realm, and brings with him a potential solution of a very temporal nature … star directors the Russo Brothers, along with returning screenwriters Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely, have once again crafted a stunning cinematic masterpiece, taking what could have been a bloated, overloaded and simply RIDICULOUS narrative mess and weaving it into a compelling, rich and thoroughly rewarding ride that, despite its THREE HOURS PLUS RUNNING TIME, stays fresh and interesting from start to finish, building on the solid foundations of Infinity War while also forging new ground (narratively speaking, at least) incorporating a wonderfully fresh take on time-travel that pokes gleeful fun at the decidedly clichéd tropes inherent in this particular little sub-genre. In fact this is frequently a simply HILARIOUS film in its own right, largely pulling away from the darker tone of its predecessor by injecting a very strong vein of chaotic humour into proceedings, perfectly tempering the more dramatic turns and epic feels that inevitably crop up, particularly as the stakes continue to rise. Needless to say the entire cast get to shine throughout, particularly those veterans whose own tours of duty in the franchise are coming to a close, and as with Infinity War even the minor characters get at least a few choice moments in the spotlight, especially in the vast, operatic climax where pretty much the ENTIRE MCU cast return for the inevitable final showdown. It’s a masterful affair, handled with skill and deep, earnest respect but also enough irreverence to keep it fun, although in the end it really comes down to those big, fat, heart-crushing emotional FEELS, as we say goodbye to some favourites and see others reach crossroads in their own arcs that send them off in new, interesting directions. Seriously guys, keep a lot of tissues handy, you really will need them. If this were the very last MCU film ever, I’d say it’s a PERFECT piece to go out on – thankfully it’s not, and while it is the end of an era the franchise looks set to go on as strong as ever, safe in the knowledge that there’s plenty more cracking movies on the way so long as Kevin Feige and co continue to employ top-notch talent like this to make their films. Eleven years and twenty-two films down, then – here’s to eleven and twenty-two more, I say …

1. THE IRISHMAN (aka I HEARD YOU PAINT HOUSES) – beating smash-hit superhero movies and unstoppable assassin action-fests to the top spot is no mean feat, but so completely blowing me away that I had NO OTHER CHOICE than to put this at NUMBER ONE is something else entirely. Not only is this the best thing I saw at the cinema this past year, but I’d be happy to say it’s guaranteed to go down as one of my all-time greats of the entire decade. I’ve been an ardent fan of the filmmaking of Martin Scorsese ever since I first properly got into cinema in my early adolescence, when I was first shown Taxi Driver and was completely and irrevocably changed forever as a movie junkie. He’s a director who impresses me like a select few others, one of the true, undisputable masters of the craft, and I find it incredibly pleasing that I’m not alone in this assertion. Goodfellas and The Departed are both numbered among my all-time favourite crime movies, while I regard the latter as one of the greatest films of the current cinematic century. I’ve learned more about the art and craft of filmmaking and big-screen storytelling from watching Scorsese’s work than from any other director out there (with the notable exception of my OTHER filmmaking hero, Ridley Scott), and I continue to discover more about his films every time I watch them, so I never stop. Anyways … enough with the gushing, time to get on with talking about his latest offering, a Netflix Original true-life gangster thriller of truly epic proportions chronicling the career and times of Frank Sheeran, a Philadelphia truck driver who became the most trusted assassin of the Northeastern Pennsylvania crime family and, in particular, its boss (and Sheeran’s best friend) Russell Bufalino, particularly focusing on his rise to power within the Philly Mob and his significant association with controversial and ultimately ill-fated Teamster boss Jimmy Hoffa. It’s a sprawling epic in the tradition of Scorsese’s previously most expansive film, Casino, but in terms of scope this easily eclipses the 1995 classic, taking in SIX DECADES of genuinely world-changing events largely seen through Sheeran’s eyes, but as always the director is in total control throughout, never losing sight of the true focus – one man’s fall from grace as he loses his soul to the terrible events he takes part in. Then again, the screenplay is by Steve Zaillian (Schindler’s List, Moneyball, Fincher’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo), one of the true masters of the art form, with whom Scorsese previously worked with on Gangs of New York, so it’s pure gold – tight as a drum, razor sharp and impossibly rich and rewarding, the perfect vehicle for the director to just prep his cast and run with it. And WHAT A CAST we have here – this is a three-way lead master-class of titanic proportions, as Scorsese-regular Robert De Niro and his Goodfellas co-star Joe Pesci are finally reteamed as, respectively, Sheeran and Bufalino, while Al Pacino gets to work with the master for the first time as Hoffa; all three are INCREDIBLE, EXTRAORDINARY, on absolute tip-top form as they bring everything they have to their roles, De Niro and Pesci underplaying magnificently while Pacino just lets rip with his full, thunderous fury in a seemingly larger-than-life turn which simply does one of history’s biggest crooks perfect justice; the supporting cast, meanwhile, is one of the strongest seen in cinema all year, with Ray Romano, Bobby Canavale, Anna Paquin, Stephen Graham, Harvey Keitel, Stephanie Kurtzuba (The Wolf of Wall Street), Jack Huston (Boardwalk Empire) and Jesse Plemmons among MANY others all making MAJOR impressions throughout, all holding their own even when up against the combined star power of the headlining trio. This is filmmaking as high art, Scorsese bringing every trick at his considerable, monumentally experienced disposal to bear to craft a crime thriller that strongly compares not only to the director’s own best but many of the genre’s own other masterpieces such as The Godfather and Chinatown. It may clock in at a potentially insane THREE HOURS AND TWENTY-NINE MINUTES but it NEVER feels overlong, every moment crafted for maximum impact with a story that unfolds so busily and with such mesmerising power it’s impossible to get bored with it. The film may have received a limited theatrical release, obviously reaching MOST of its audience when unleashed on Netflix nearly a month later, but I was one of the lucky few who got to see it on the big screen, and BELIEVE ME, it was totally worth it. Best thing I saw in 2019, ONE OF the best things I saw this past decade, and DEFINITELY one of Scorsese’s best films EVER. See it, any way you can. You won’t be disappointed.

#how to train your dragon the hidden world #terminator dark fate #doctor sleep #spider-man far from home #us #us movie #knives out #Captain Marvel #john wick chapter 3 #avengers endgame #the irishman #2019 in movies

9 notes · View notes

lakegenevaslumberparty · 5 years

Text

Dracula, ch. 1

Starting this readalong with @aflamethatneverdies ! I haven’t read Dracula since I was a kid-- I thought it was Mostly Boring then, but also I was ten and so I dare say my tastes may have changed a little. I’m excited to find out!

Running this on this blog because I guess this is where I put my Anglophile Lit now!:P

Ch 1-Jonathan Harker’s Recipe Travel Blog ...Okay more happens than that.

I know “Dracula is built on a lot of Orientalism” isn’t exactly a Hot New Take, but wow?? Harker’s obviously in full 19C Middle Class English Traveler mode, boggling at the Quaint Locals and reeling from the overwhelming shock of actual spices, and all the unfamiliarity of the place and the language of this society obviously works to make him more vulnerable, since he doesn’t have a sense of Normalcy and doesn’t really know how to ask the people around him about things.

But it’s sort of striking to me that Jonathan is not --or not just--in extra danger here because this is a spooooky Not British Place, but because he’s foreign -- and in Full British Traveler Mode, yet. The peasants he’s traveling with obviously care about the danger he’s facing, and they do try to warn him! Almost everyone he meets tries to warn him! They even directly use words that mean “vampire” ! But no matter how directly they speak to him, no matter how fearful they are, he reacts to them as...well, as Superstitious Foreign Peasants. So kind! So simple! Such quaint customs! I don’t know if they could possibly have explained the situation to him in any way that would make him take them seriously enough to call off his plans. And then, of course, they’re putting themselves at risk of vampiric retaliation even doing what they’re doing-- and he just will not pick up the anvils they’re dropping. I don’t know if Stoker meant Harker’s oblivious confidence to be the Greatest Foe, but it’s sure feeling like it here.

Burger’s Lenore! The line quoted in the carriage-- “the dead travel fast”-- is one I associate with one of Gautier’s articles about Gerard de Nerval (roughly quoting/translating here: ”the dead travel fast”, they say, but they do not travel so fast, those beloved spectres. that we do not turn to see them once more...”). It’s weird for me to see that a line I associate with grief and loving remembrance put here in a mood of terror.

..WHAT is going on with the blue flame, and the endless repeating road? This is really very mysterious to me! Is the Count’s Castle supposed to be behind a kind of Faerie/Otherwordly veil and these are the rituals to pass through? I can’t recall any sort of myth that ties into this! And what the heck is Dracula even playing at here? He doesn’t want Harker eaten yet, and he can clearly make the wolves stay away; why keep letting them mess with the coach?

...But boy I recognize that sense of being half-hypnotized by the movement and repetition on a long unpleasant trip at night, so time fades away and everything just collapses onto itself. Unsettling realism, there!

#Draculathon #Drac 1

7 notes · View notes

vincent-frankenstein · 5 years

Text

To My Heart and Soul

[ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | you are here | read on AO3 ]

Warnings: major character death, villain/abusive deceit, blood, fighting, panic attacks, creepy imagery

Pairings: logince, hints of moxiety, a tiny smidge of remile and past abusive anxceit

“So,” Roman began. “Logan’s a seer —”

“You’re a what?” Virgil asked, head whipping around to stare at Logan. Logan swallowed hard, shoulders tensing.

“Hush, Gerard Gay, I’m telling a story here.” Roman waved his hand dismissively. “About a year ago, he… gave me a prophecy in his sleep. And I interpreted it to mean that… Dorian would come for me. That he would kill Logan if I stayed, if I let him get involved in any way.”

“But I’m not dead,” Logan pointed out.

“No, you’re not,” Roman said. “My interpretation might have been… wrong. It seemed obvious at the time, but prophecies are meant to be ambiguous and vague. It's easy to get it wrong.”

“You jumped to a conclusion,” Logan said, raising an eyebrow. “And you acted rashly as a result.”

“I… I did,” Roman agreed. He shifted uneasily, not quite meeting Logan’s eyes. “I was scared, but that doesn’t excuse what I did. If I had just stayed, maybe — maybe things would have gone differently.”

Logan placed his hand over Roman’s and laced their fingers together against the floor. Their eyes met — and Logan found that it was still just as impossible to stay mad at him as it was before. How infuriating.

“What was the prophecy?” Patton asked, glancing around. The rest of the Council was back on their feet, mostly; they milled around, healing each other and just barely beginning to celebrate their victory. Logan could hear the relief in Patton’s voice; his family was okay.

“‘He who seeks to steal the throne,” Roman began, “will find the one who gave it away; he who rules a world of gold sends his puppet out to slay.’”

“Dorian,” Virgil said, shoulders tensing. Roman nodded.

“Exactly. Patton told me how hard he fought to get a seat on the Council, and how offended he was when they wouldn’t give it to him. He wanted to steal it, and I gave it away.” Roman twisted his fingers in his lap, an old nervous habit he’d had since Logan had first met him. “At first I thought Virgil was the puppet, because Dorian sent him after me quite a few times while I was on the run, but… I guess Dorian himself was the Golden One’s puppet.”

“Sorry about that, by the way,” Virgil said, glancing over his shoulder at Dorian’s body as if he’d get back up again.

“All water under the bridge of friendship, Hot Topic,” he said. “Anyway, uh. ‘Beloved husbands, torn apart. Beloved husband's time is nigh. Beloved husband finds his heart. Beloved husband, he must die.’ I assumed that was referring to you, Logan. You’re certainly my beloved.”

Logan made a noise somewhere between a cough and a squeak, his cheeks dusted with pink. “But again, I didn’t die,” he said, pulling the tattered remains of his tie back into whatever approximation of fixed he could manage. “You… appeared to be dead, for a few moments, but obviously, you didn’t die either.”

Roman shrugged. “I think I did die,” he said, eyebrows furrowing. “I may not have my magic anymore, but this is still my home. This place strengthens me. Even if my heart stopped for a few moments, that alone might have been enough to revive me. That, and — well, I could hear you calling out to me, Logan.”

Finally, he caught Logan’s gaze, and any response Logan could have possibly given died on his tongue. Roman stopped twisting his hands in his lap to take Logan’s hand again; Logan’s skin burned at the contact but he wouldn’t pull away to save his life.

“So you two are even more infuriatingly gross when you’re together? Great.” Virgil rolled his eyes, lips pursed sharply to keep from smiling. Patton nudged him in the arm, one hand held delicately to his cheek like he’d start crying at any moment.

“I think it’s cute,” he whispered, and — yep, he was crying. Tears began to fill his eyes and he sniffled. Virgil blinked, holding his arm, his eyebrows furrowing.

Roman winked at Virgil and continued. “‘Brothers caught in endless war; brothers trapped in heavy chains.’” He glanced at Patton. “‘One rules; one hides; one kills.’ That’s… us, obviously. Me, you, and… Dorian.”

“Heavy chains…” Logan repeated. “Roman, your chains were literal. Dorian appeared to be chained to the Golden One. Patton…?” He trailed off; Patton’s expression had shifted ever-so-slightly, a flicker of pain passing through his eyes, gone in the blink of an eye.

“Huh?” Patton shook himself, lips quirking up into a smile. “Oh, you’re wondering what my chains were? Well, I dunno! I don’t feel chained to anything, but I guess that could chain-ge at any moment.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. He remembered a few earlier conversations that seemed to indicate the opposite. “Are you sure?”

“Sure-tainly!” Patton said with a giggle. “Besides, this chain of events really helped tie up all those loose ends. Everything’ll be fine from here on out!”

“Right…” Virgil said, one eyebrow quirked in suspicion. He shared a Look with Roman, eyes flicking to Patton, concern and confusion written across his face, and Patton pretended not to notice. Roman shrugged and cleared his throat.

“Uh… ‘The seer will follow, and death will follow him,’” he continued. “‘Victory waits within the Hollow, and waits within a prophecy grim.’”

“Sleepy Hollow!” Patton burst out, his face lighting up. “I completely forgot — Roman, we met your daughter!”

Logan choked, the memories suddenly snapping back into place as Roman gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth in surprise. “Oh — oh my goodness, you met Sera! How is she? Is she okay, is she safe, how —”

“She’s fine,” Logan said, clearing his throat. “It was a… bit of a shock to meet her, as you can probably imagine. You — you don’t have any… other —”

“No,” Roman said quickly, with a nervous laugh. “Just Sera. Was it a… bad shock? I mean, you don’t have to like her, she’s not your responsibility —”

“No! No, she’s… wonderful,” Logan said, face coloring. “I simply didn’t expect — I mean — she’s a dragon.”

“I found her egg out in the forest ten years ago,” Roman said. “Her parents had been killed. I wasn’t about to let her die, too, so I took her in and took care of her. She imprinted on me the moment she hatched, and, well — the rest is history.”

“That’s so cute,” Patton whispered through his fingers, his hands smooshed up against his cheeks happily. “You should have seen Logan’s face when she called him ‘dad,’ I’ve never seen him so happy!”

Roman gasped. “She called you dad?”

If the windows around them hadn’t already been broken by the blast from before, Patton and Roman’s twin squeals would have shattered them. Logan shoved his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and pursed his lips, not quite meeting either of their gazes.

“Yes, she did,” he said, and even as embarrassment curled in his stomach, happiness floated just above it, a deep golden fondness at the thought of Seraphina. He shook his head. “Roman, continue the prophecy. Please.”

“We have a child together,” Roman whispered, ignoring Logan completely, and Patton squealed even louder.

“Roman.”

“I’m sorry, I just —” Roman’s hands flapped through the air excitedly. “Okay. Uh… ‘When he trusts none and believes all, the final battle will begin. Puppets freed; the chains will fall. Death will reap and you will win.’”

“Who’s he?” Virgil asked, picking at a hole in his jeans.

“I… I think it’s me,” Logan said, biting his lip in thought. “Right before I came here, I felt… I mean, it seemed as though… I didn’t think I could trust anyone. I saw you helping Dorian in the forest,” he said, turning to Virgil, who winced apologetically, “and I assumed that you had tricked me, that giving me the dragon’s eye was all a part of Dorian’s plan. Then I discovered that I’m a seer, and everyone seemed to want to lock me up because of it.”

“What?” Roman interrupted, eyes widening.

“F-For his own protection,” Patton said, eyebrows furrowing. “I didn’t want to, I promise, but… we figured it would just give Dorian more reasons to want to hurt him, y’know? We were scared.”

“I see that now,” Logan said, nodding, “but at the time, it seemed like no one would help me. Like… like I was alone. I believed that, with the weapon, I could fix everything on my own. I trusted none and believed all, I suppose.”

“I’m so sorry we made you feel that way,” Patton said, his voice ever-so-soft. Logan waved his hand dismissively.

“I understand your actions, there is no need to apologize.” He quirked a brow. “Besides, I think everything worked out in our favor regardless. It was meant to be this way.”

“Yeah,” Virgil said, drawing a knee up to his chest and resting his arms around it. “I mean, seeing you rush in here spurred me to go get the Council for help. And without me, they couldn’t have gotten through Dorian’s spell. If you hadn’t come… I think he would have won.”

Patton nodded. “We owe a lot to you, Virgil,” he said earnestly, offering Virgil a kind smile. Virgil’s face darkened; he looked away, his bangs falling in his face to hide his pink cheeks. “Anyway, now we know the prophecy. What happened after?”

“Well…” Roman sighed. “I went on the run for as long as I could manage. Once I figured out that Dorian knew I was still alive, I took the weapon, changed it so that people other than me could activate it, and gave it to Seraphina. Patton, I was going to give you the other key, and a letter explaining what had happened, but… I never got the chance. Dorian caught me, and I was dragged along with him as he searched for the weapon. When I wouldn’t talk… he decided to go after you.”

“And that’s where I come in,” Virgil spoke up suddenly. Roman shot him a searching look, his eyebrows furrowing, and Virgil nodded, letting out a shaky breath. “Yeah, I can… I can tell it. I met Dorian way before all this shit happened. We were friends, and then… more. A lot more. When Roman faked his death and Dorian started trying to get his spot on the council, my brother and I tried to help. We were a team, back then.”

“Your brother?” Logan asked.

“I’ll get to that in a second,” Virgil said, waving his hand dismissively. “When they refused to give him a seat, he… started searching for other ways to get power. He disappeared for a few weeks, and when he came back, he was… different. The Golden One had gotten to him. He had the power he wanted, but he wasn’t himself anymore. Honestly, I’m not sure if there was any of him left by the time you guys took him down.”

Patton and Roman had grown very still, and very silent. Patton held himself tightly, his fingers digging into his arms. Virgil didn’t meet either of their gazes. “Around the time that he caught Roman and started torturing him for information, my brother and I decided to leave. We were gonna escape together, go on the run until we could build a new life for ourselves, but… I was weak. Dorian had too strong of a hold on me. I chickened out at the last minute, and my brother… he got captured by the Council.”

Patton’s eyes widened. He leaned forward, disbelief sparking to life in his eyes. “What was your brother’s name?”

“Remy,” Virgil said, and Logan’s eyes widened. He hadn’t realized it before, but now he could see the resemblance; they had the same sharp chins, the same dark eyes. That explained Remy’s hostility. “Do… do you remember him?”

“Of course I do,” Patton said, slapping a hand over his mouth in shock. “He escaped a few months after we caught him, and we’ve been trying to — I mean, he’s been eluding us ever since. Just… causing chaos all over.”

“Exactly,” Virgil said. “He’s trying to find me. He’s probably pissed out of his mind over what I did.”

Logan pressed his lips into a thin line. “That’s… one way to put it, yes,” he said. “He attacked me about a week after you saved me from the shadowbeasts. He thought I knew where you were. He seemed… a little unhinged, in all honesty.”

“I’m not surprised,” Virgil said softly. “That’s… that’s why I have to go. I have to find him, and set things right.”

“Then I’ll come with you,” Patton said suddenly. “Toby and I, we’ve been trying to find your brother for years. Toby’s got tons of information on him. I’m sure if we work together, we can find him!”

Virgil blinked. “You don’t have to —”

“I want to,” Patton said, his voice firm. “It’s my job, first of all, but… you shouldn’t have to face this alone. We’ll find him, I promise.”

Crimson spread from Virgil’s cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears. He held Patton’s gaze for a long moment before turning away, glaring resolutely at the floor. “Right. Yeah. Uh.” He cleared his throat. “Sure.”

Roman raised an eyebrow and caught Logan’s eyes, and Logan shrugged.

“Anyway,” Virgil said, voice gruff. “After that, Dorian settled down here, and left me to keep an eye on Roman while he searched for the weapon alone. I was… in a really dark place, then. Remy was gone and Dorian kept disappearing for weeks on end and I didn’t know what to do. And Roman… he helped me through it. I was his enemy, and he still helped me out.”

“Not at first,” Roman admitted. “But once I saw how you were without Dorian around, I knew there was still good in you.”

“Ugh, shut up,” Virgil muttered, dropping his face to rest in the crook of his arm. “Anyway, eventually,” he continued, voice muffled, “he trusted me enough to send me out to help you, Logan. He gave me the dragon’s eye and the other key to his weapon, and… he gave me hope again. I wouldn’t have been able to break free of Dorian’s control if it weren’t for him.”

“No, no,” Roman said, fondness swirling beneath his soft voice. “That was all you, Virge. All I did was talk to you, you’re the one who took action. You saved yourself.”

“Wow, the great Roman, being modest? Amazing.” Virgil quirked an eyebrow teasingly, lifting his bright pink face out of his arms. At Roman’s offended gasp, he laughed. “Sorry, it was getting too sappy. I can’t stand that shit.”

“Do you still have the other key?” Logan asked, glancing at Roman’s bare hands. Virgil dug into his pocket and drew out the ring — their ring, the one that Logan had spent months painstakingly choosing. Roman reached out for it but Logan took it first, turning it over in his hands hesitantly.

He took a breath and took Roman’s hand, a thrill of warmth shooting down his arm at the touch. Ever-so-gently, he slid the ring back onto Roman’s finger, and then stood, pulling Roman up. “There,” he said, with a fond smile.

Roman laughed wetly, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. He leaned in for another kiss, and Logan was all-too-happy to oblige; their lips pressed together in a burst of warmth, and Logan could have stayed that way forever. When they pulled apart, he slipped his arm around Roman’s waist, and held out his other hand to Patton, pulling him to his feet. Patton giggled and helped Virgil up as well, intertwining their fingers with a cheerful grin, and though Virgil blushed profusely and mumbled something incoherent, he didn’t pull away.

Logan leaned into Roman’s side and smiled, a few stray tears sliding down his cheeks. It felt like the world had finally righted itself; like he’d been hanging upside-down for far too long, like finally, finally, he could stop holding on and start living again. He squeezed Patton’s hand and let out a breath, happiness blooming in his chest. This felt right. This felt —

“Guys?”

Toby stood beside Dorian’s body, peering down at it like a particularly nasty piece of garbage. They went to join him, still arm-in-arm; Logan tightened his hold around Roman’s waist and squeezed Patton’s hand comfortingly. It was hard enough for him to look at the body, and all Dorian had ever done to him was hurt and deceive him. He couldn’t imagine what it was like for the two of them, to see their brother killed in such a way.

“I don’t understand how that shit didn’t destroy him,” Virgil said, nose wrinkling warily. “That weapon was some of the strongest magic I’ve ever seen, it should have eviscerated him at the very least.”

Patton whimpered, his grip around Logan’s hand growing even tighter. “I-I mean — uh.” Virgil cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Roman said, his voice thick. “I don’t understand either. He… he shouldn’t be here.”

“I can’t sense any magic on him,” Patton said. His voice shook like he was on the verge of tears, and he held Logan’s hand like a lifeline, never tearing his watery gaze from Dorian’s body.

“Yeah, his magic’s gone,” Toby agreed. “The Golden Bitch probably took it with him when it died.”

“So you think it’s dead, then?” Logan asked. It did seem that way; the beast had disintegrated around Dorian with a final, agonized scream, and the spell upstairs vanished. The outside world seemed to have been returned to normal. Even the air itself felt different — like a great evil had been torn from it.

“I sure as hell hope so,” Toby said. “It makes sense, with your stupid prophecy. If the Golden Bitch is gone, its little silver bitches are gone, too. According to the old myths, their lives were all connected.”

“‘End of all,’” Logan recited. “Do we know for certain that the myths are true? What if they aren’t connected? And what about the rest of the prophecy? ‘Beginning of one.’” He readjusted his glasses, mind racing. “Who — or what — is beginning?

“Maybe it was referring to me?” Roman asked. “It certainly feels as though my life is beginning anew.”

“Could be me,” Virgil said. “I’m not trapped with… with him anymore, I can start over.”

Logan opened his mouth to speak, questions rushing through his mind — but then Toby tensed, and held up a hand to stop him. Eyes narrowing, he kneeled beside Dorian, placing a hand atop his chest. Logan’s blood ran cold.

No. He pulled himself out of Roman and Patton’s grip and kneeled beside Toby, setting his hand on Dorian’s chest. No. There was no way; it made no logical sense.

Gently, faintly — so weakly that Logan just barely felt it — Dorian’s chest rose and fell.

Patton covered his mouth in shock, tears filling his eyes. “Is he…?”

Logan’s heart pounded in his throat. He nodded.

“He’s alive.”

#AND ITS DONE #SOBS.....#there will be a sequel !!! at some point !!!!!!!!#and some prequels owu uwo #sanders sides #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #deceit sanders #ts deceit #villain deceit #abusive deceit #ts october #to my heart and soul #celeste's portfolio

7 notes · View notes

pilferingapples · 6 years

Quote

From that pair of snow-white cats had sprung three coal-black kittens, a mystery the solution of which I leave to others. Victor Hugo’s “Les Misérables” were then all the rage, and the names of the characters in the novel were in every one’s mouth. The two little male cats were called Enjolras and Gavroche, and the female Eponine. They were the sweetest of kittens, and we trained them to fetch and carry pieces of paper thrown at a distance just as a dog would do. We got so far as to throw the paper ball on the top of wardrobes, or to hide it behind boxes or in tall vases, and they would retrieve it very prettily with their paws. On attaining years of discretion, they forsook these frivolous sports and resumed the dreamy, philosophical calm which is the real characteristic of cats... Enjolras, who was by far the handsomest of the three, was marked by his big lion-like head and well whiskered cheeks, by his muscular shoulders, his long back, and his splendid tail, fluffy as a feather duster. There was something theatrical and grandiloquent about him, and he seemed to pose like an actor who attracts admiration. His motions were slow, undulating, and full of majesty; he seemed to be always stepping on a table covered with china ornaments and Venetian glass, so circumspectly did he select the place where he put down his foot. He was not much of a Stoic, and exhibited a liking for food which his namesake would have had reason to blame. No doubt Enjolras, the pure and sober youth, would have said to him, as the angel did to Swedenborg, “You eat too much.” We rather encouraged this amusing voracity, analogous to that of monkeys, and Enjolras grew to a size and weight very uncommon among domestic cats. Gavroche was a cat with a sharp, satirical look, as if he intended to recall his namesake in the novel. Smaller than Enjolras, he was endowed with abrupt and comical agility, and in the stead of the puns and slang of the Paris street-Arab, he indulged in the funniest capers, leaps, and attitudes. I am bound to add that, yielding to his street instincts, Gavroche was in the habit of seizing every opportunity of leaving the drawing-room and going off to join, in the court, and even in the public streets, numbers of wandering cats, “of unknown blood and lineage low,” with whom he took part in performances of doubtful taste, completely forgetful of his dignified rank as a Havana cat, the son of the illustrious Don Pierrot of Navarre, a grandee of Spain of the first class, and of the Marchioness Séraphita, noted for her haughty and aristocratic manners. Sometimes he would bring in to his meals, in order to treat them, consumptive friends of his, so starved that every rib in their body showed, having nothing but skin and bones, whom he had picked up in the course of his excursions and wanderings, for he was a kind-hearted fellow. The poor devils, their ears laid back, their tails between their legs, their glance restless, dreading to be driven from their free meal by a housemaid armed with a broom, swallowed the pieces two, three, and four at a time, and like the famous dog, Siete Aguas (Seven Waters), of Spanish posadas, would lick the platter as clean as if it had been washed and scoured by a Dutch housekeeper who had served as model to Mieris or Gerard Dow. Whenever I saw Gavroche’s companions, I remembered the lettering under one of Gavarni’s drawings: “A nice lot, the friends you are capable of proceeding with!” But after all it was merely a proof of Gavroche’s kindness of heart, for he was quite able to polish off the plateful himself. The cat who bore the name of the interesting Eponine was more lissome and slender in shape than her brothers. Her mien was quite peculiar to herself, owing to her somewhat long face, her eyes slanting slightly in the Chinese fashion, and of a green like that of the eyes of Pallas Athene, on whom Homer invariably bestows the title of γλαυκῶπις, her velvety black nose, of as fine a grain as a Perigord truffle, and her incessantly moving whiskers. Her coat, of a superb black, was always in motion and shimmered with infinite changes. There never was a more sensitive, nervous, and electric animal. If she were stroked two or three times, in the dark, blue sparks came crackling from her fur. She attached herself to me in particular, just as in the novel Eponine becomes attached to Marius. As I was less taken up with Cosette than that handsome youth, I accepted the love of my affectionate and devoted cat, who is still the assiduous companion of my labours and the delight of my hermitage on the confines of the suburbs. She trots up when she hears the bell ring, welcomes my visitors, leads them into the drawing-room, shows them to a seat, talks to them—yes, I mean it, talks to them—with croonings and cooings and whimpers quite unlike the language cats make use of among themselves, and which simulate the articulate speech of man. You ask me what it is she says? She says, in the plainest possible fashion: “Do not be impatient; look at the pictures or chat with me, if you enjoy that. My master will be down in a minute.” And when I come in she discreetly retires to an arm-chair or on top of the piano, and listens to the conversation without breaking in upon it, like a well-bred animal that is used to society. Sweet Eponine has given us so many proofs of intelligence, kindly disposition, and sociability that she has been promoted, by common consent, to the dignity of a person, for it is plain that a higher order of reason than instinct guides her actions. This dignity entails the right of eating at table like a person, and not from a saucer in a corner, like an animal. So Eponine’s chair is placed beside mine at lunch and dinner, and on account of her size she is allowed to rest her fore paws upon the edge of the table. She has her own place set, without fork or spoon, but with her glass. She eats of every course that is brought on, from the soup to the dessert, always waiting for her turn to be served and behaving with a discretion and decency that it is to be wished were more frequently met with in children. She turns up at the first sound of the bell, and when we enter the dining-room we are sure to find her already in her place, standing on her chair, her paws on the edge of the table, and holding up her little head to be kissed, like a well-bred young lady who is polite and affectionate towards her parents and her elders. The sun has its spots, the diamond its flaws, and perfection itself its little weak points. Eponine, it must be owned, has an overmastering fondness for fish, a taste she shares in common with all her race. The Latin proverb, Catus amat pisces, sed non vult tingere plantas, to the contrary notwithstanding, she is always ready to pop her paw into the water to fish out a blay, a small carp, or a trout. Fish makes her well-nigh delirious, and like children eagerly looking for the dessert, she is apt to object to the soup, when the preliminary investigations she has carried on in the kitchen have enabled her to ascertain that the fish has duly come in and that there is no reason why Vatel should run himself through with his sword. In such cases we do not help her to fish, and I remark to her, in a cold tone, “A lady who has no appetite for soup cannot have any appetite for fish,” and the dish is remorselessly sent past her. Then seeing that it is no joking matter, dainty Eponine bolts her soup in hot haste, licks up the very last drop of the bouillon, puts away the minutest crumb of bread or Italian paste, and turns round to me with the proud look of one conscious of being without fear or reproach and of having fulfilled her duty. Her share of the fish is handed to her, and she despatches it with every mark of extreme satisfaction. Then, having tasted a little of every dish, she winds up her meal by drinking one-third of a glassful of water. If we happen to have guests at dinner, Eponine does not need to have seen them enter to be aware that there is to be company. She simply looks at her place, and if she sees a knife, fork, and spoon laid there, she makes off at once and perches on the piano stool, her usual place of refuge in such cases. Those who deny reasoning powers to animals may explain this fact, so simple apparently, yet so suggestive, as best they may. That judicious and observant cat of mine deduces from the presence by her plate of utensils which man alone understands how to use that she must give up her position for that day to a guest, and she forthwith does so. Never once has she made a mistake. Only, when she is well acquainted with the particular guest, she will climb upon his knee and seek, by her graceful ways and her caresses, to induce him to bestow some tit-bit upon her. ...These be the chronicles of the Black Dynasty. Enjolras, Gavroche, and Eponine recall to me the creations of a beloved master; only, when I re-read “Les Misérables,” the chief characters in the novel seem to me to be taken by black cats, a fact that in no wise diminishes the interest I take in it.

My Private Menagerie, Theophile Gautier (warning for descriptions of pet deaths at the link, as well as general 19th-century attitudes)

#and I quote #Theophile Gautier #and his all-cat Les Mis AU XD #Four People and a Shoelace #My Private Menagerie

185 notes · View notes

queenofthedramedies · 6 years

Text

Mystic Falls: Homecoming Ch. 17

Hello, my lovely readers. So, we're still a little off schedule but the good news is that we get to see five of the six Original siblings! Yay! On with the show…

Chapter 17: Deal with the Devil

Jacob

New York felt hot. Jacob strode down a long alleyway—the body of his latest victim—lying beside a gray wall. He moved swiftly. There was work to be done, and no time like the present. His pace slowed only when he stood at the entrance of a brownstone. Nothing about it would tell you that two of history's most heinous killers resided there.

Smiling, Jacob ran up the steps and he began to whistle as he hit the doorbell. The maid opened the door. "Hello, Mr. Salvatore. Please, allow me a moment to inform them you're here," she said with a smile.

Jacob rocked on his heels, his ears perked to the sound of a teenage boy moaning about the public school system, and how private school was no better. Another voice joined the boy's. "Theo, we have tried everything in this town. You must settle on one, or the other."

"They're all lame, mom!" Theo Gerard's voice echoed down to Jacob's ears.

"Stop arguing with your mother. You'll never win. Trust me; I've tried," another voice added.

"Excuse me, ma'am. Sir. He's here," the maid told them.

"Yeah. Send him in," the third voice said with a heavy sigh.

Jacob waited for the maid. She led him into the house and to the living room where the family sat, all except the girl. "Mrs. Gerard. Mr. Gerard," he greeted them.

Rebekah pursed her lips, giving Jacob a quick glance before looking at Theo. Rebekah Gerard, nee Mikaelson would appear like an ordinary young woman to anyone, except Jacob, who knew about her secret. Not so long after her marrying her beloved Marcellus, he offered her a choice—to become like him. And so she transformed herself into part wolf, like her beloved. Now, she was a very special creature altogether.

"Go to you room, Theo," Rebekah ordered the seventeen-year-old, who stood over her. At six-feet-five, Theo did not look like the kind of boy that many people told what to do, unless, it was his parents doing the talking.

"Fine," Theo grumbled, he walked past Jacob with a nod.

Jacob grinned at them. "And I see I can still clear a room," he told them.

Marcel narrowed his eyes at him. "Get on with it, Jacob."

"Right then," Jacob said. "May I?" he waved at the couch, across from the couple.

Rebekah nodded, and Jacob sat down, throwing his arms across the back of the couch. "This is lovely. Where did you buy it?" he inquired. "Nice cushions. Are they difficult to clean blood out of?"

Rebekah let out a snort of laughter while Marcel let out a snarl. "Do you have anything useful to say this time, or do I need to dump you in an alleyway, like last time?"

"Touché," Jacob rolled his eyes. "Alright then. I have been with your little niece, Hope –" he began when Rebekah jumped in.

"How is she?" Rebekah asked, her eyes wide and a smile made her light up.

"She's lovely," Jacob told her.

"Good," Rebekah glanced at Marcel, who gave her a look. "Well then, did you two figure out how to fix us?"

"We're getting closer," Jacob told her. "We need a coven to make this work though. I'm on my way to Rio, to talk with Kol and Davina."

"You keep Davina the hell out of this," Marcel yelled at him, on his feet and in Jacob's face.

Jacob leaned away from Marcel; looking to Rebekah. "Before he bites my head off, I would like to point out that you do want you family back, yes?" he looked up at Marcel who looked to Rebekah.

Rebekah nodded. "Yes. I do. More than anything," she stated.

Marcel sighed, and stood back, moving to sit with Rebekah. She took his hand and a glimmer of a smile crossed his face before he turned to glower at Jacob. "Good," Jacob continued. "As I was saying. We need Davina, but do not fear." He offered Marcel a smile. "Hope is very powerful, on her own. And so am I. But with Davina's power, along with your sister, Freya's—and a few others—we could end any kind of curse."

"You seem pretty sure of yourself," Marcel snapped. "But I've seen things go down. Things that would make your hair stand on end. And if you put Hope, Davina, or anyone else that we love in danger, I will hunt you down."

Jacob nodded. "I'm sure that you would, if you needed to, which you will not." A smirk crossed his face and he got to his feet. "We'll be in touch."

~0~

Music throbbed in the club. People danced close together and Jacob reminded himself to bring Hope—here—when this ordeal was done. He scanned the crowd and spotted them. They danced in the middle of the floor. Their bodies were pressed together; mouths locked. Jacob could almost smell the sex.

Grinning, Jacob moved through the crowd and stopped near them, "May I?" he called and Davina looked over at Jacob, who held out a hand to her.

Kol turned on him, his lips pulled back from his teeth, fangs glinting in the blue lights that moved over them. "Kol," Davina whispered. "Give me a minute with him." She headed over to Jacob and took his hand.

Jacob winked at Kol, who gave him a death glare while Jacob moved to the music with Davina pressed to him. "Things are progressing. You'll have him back to his old self soon." Jacob promised Davina who pulled back to grin at him.

"I hope she likes you as much as I do," Davina told him, spinning back into Kol's arms.

"I'll see you two, again. Soon," Jacob called to Kol, who refused to acknowledge him. Jacob's flirty banter with Davina had caused Kol to dislike him from the get-go. That was alright with Jacob. He would have centuries to make Kol warm to him. Ending this thing with The Hollow would be a good start.

~0~

The countryside smelled divine and Jacob strode toward the vineyard. Elijah Mikaelson sat in a chair, reading a book, and drinking a glass of wine. "Bonjour, Jacob," he said, holding up a finger.

Stopping, Jacob waited for Elijah to finish the page he had been reading. He looked up with a fond smile. "How are you?"

"Well. Thank you for asking," Jacob replied. "May I?" he pointed at a chair across from Elijah.

Elijah nodded. "How is America?"

"It's been better," Jacob replied. "And worse, I suppose." He looked at the book that Elijah had set aside. "Dante's Inferno. Interesting choice. No light reading for you," he said with a chuckle.

"I believe you are not here to ask about my reading choices," Elijah said, he crossed his jeans-clad legs at the knee, steepling his fingers. "What can I help you with?"

Jacob clapped his hands on the end of the armrests of the chair. "I need help with a spell."

"I'm sorry. I do not understand," Elijah's eyebrows furrowed.

Nodding, Jacob sighed. "I thought you might not. It's to do with your family. The ten times he'd tried to arouse any kind of emotion on Elijah's part to do with his family's welfare, he'd received a flat-line. It was as if the Elijah Mikaelson, who struck fear in the hearts of others, who threatened The Original family was gone. He had been replaced with this…this piano-playing, Stepford Vampire, who did not have a care in the world. It might be amusing, if it weren't irritating as hell. Elijah was part of the plan. They could not defeat The Hollow—once and for all—without Elijah.

"It is about what was done to you," Jacob tried to explain. Again, Elijah gave him a blank look. "One day, soon, I will come back to speak with you, and you must come with me."

Elijah smiled at Jacob. "If I am not busy. I will attempt to help you. Good day, Jacob." Picking up his book, Elijah flipped a page and went back to reading. He might be the hardest part of their plan, but Jacob would reunite the family, even if he had to snap their necks and stuff them in their coffins to do it.

~0~

New Orleans teamed with tourists when Jacob arrived during a late evening. He walked through the crowds on Bourbon Street—on his way to the Mikaelson compound. When he got to the compound, he stood outside, waiting for Freya to sense him and come to the door.

It took over an hour, and Jacob wondered if Freya had forgotten about their meeting. Old age could do that to a person. Smirking, when he saw the woman heading toward him; he waved at her.

Freya attempted to smile back, but her smile seemed stiff. "Are you alright?" Jacob inquired.

Freya shook her head. "My girlfriend, Keenlin, she…" Breaking off, Freya stepped aside. "Come in," she said.

Jacob stepped through the gates and walked with Freya back to the house. "Keenlin is ill," Freya told Jacob.

"Oh, something I might help with?" Jacob inquired, pulling his shirtsleeve up.

Shaking her head, Freya looked at the ground as they walked into the home. "She has cancer."

"Oh," Jacob sighed. He knew from watching a human friend pass—years back—that there was nothing to be done. "How bad off is she?"

"She's got a month; according to her doctor. I'm trying see what I can do to make the progression slow, but the harder I work, the more pain I seem to cause her." A forced smile appeared on her lips. "We're enjoying the limited time we have left."

"I am sorry. Truly," Jacob told her, Freya nodded.

"Tea?" Freya asked him, picking up a teapot from the table.

"Yes. Thank you," Jacob watched her pour him a cup, and he took it, sipping it, trying to the think. "I'm sorry I came at this time, but we're drawing closer. I think that Hope is working on her side while I collect those we need to complete the spell."

Nodding, Freya smiled again. There was a glimmer of happiness there, overshadowed by pain. "Thank you, Jacob. For everything that you have done for this family, for whatever reasons that you have."

"You know my reasons," Jacob retorted. He knew that Freya and Klaus were the least trusting of The Originals. Not necessarily the most lethal, but the most paranoid.

"Yes. I know," Freya offered him a smile. "I've been in your head. I know how you feel for her. But if you hurt her, it will not be me you must fear, but Niklaus. His anger is something that no being would like unleashed upon them."

"Yes. I've seen Niklaus' wrath, and it put my own to great shame." Jacob was only half-joking.

"You will talk to Vincent. Convince him to help us?" Jacob asked her.

Freya shook her head. "Vincent needed no convincing. The Hollow took his wife and his child. He will do anything to end it. Once, and for all." Freya's eyes gleamed as she looked at Jacob, a small smirk twisted the edges of her lips and Jacob offered a smile in return.

"Good." Jacob got to his feet. "Thank you for the tea. I must return to Hope and see what she has accomplished. I will return for you." Freya led him to the gate, and Jacob turned to her. "See you again, soon, Aunt Freya," he added the last part with a teasing smile.

Freya smirked at him. "Do not get ahead of yourself. Hope is a willful girl. Her heart might lie with another."

"Oh, I suspect I know exactly where her heart lies, at this moment, and that is with her great love," Jacob paused. "Her family. I do hope she has room for one more." He offered Freya a smile and then walked back into the night.

Freddy

Another day. Another eight hours of his life lost to the public school system. Freddy felt bored, restless and annoyed. Todd was still pissed off at him. Not like Freddy cared. They'd never really been the best of friends anyway. Freddy partied with Todd, sometimes. They hung out in different circles. Todd was a jock, and Freddy was more of the cool guy who just floated around.

Freddy walked out of the high school; feeling free. He spotted Jos and Sandy, headed across the parking lot. "Girls," he called to them, chasing after them. He threw an arm around their shoulders. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Jos said, shrugging him off.

Sandy walked along, like he wasn't there. "Where are you two lovely ladies off to?" Freddy inquired.

"We're going back to Sand's, to study. You're not invited," Jos snapped, taking Sandy's hand and walking off.

"You wound me!" Freddy shouted after them.

Freddy's shoulders slumped as he kept walking. He spotted Sam and Fanny walking a few feet to his left. "Sam! Fanny!" he shouted.

Sam stopped, shouldering his bag as Freddy approached them. "I don't have any cash on me, Freddy," Sam said.

Rolling his eyes, Freddy leaned against somebody's car. "Sam, do you think that's the only reason I hang with you?"

"Yes," Sam replied.

Sighing, Freddy shook his head. "Man. That hurt." He stood up, and looked at Fanny who held a textbook against her chest. "Okay. Well, I'm sorry I bugged you. Later."

"Freddy, why don't you come to our house, and hang out?" Sam called after him.

Stopping, Freddy began to smile. "Ya sure?" he asked Sam.

Sam nodded. "Yeah. My dad's coming to get us."

Damon pulled up in the minivan while Sam was talking. "Hey, kids," he called to them.

"Hey, dad!" Fanny called, pulling a door open and climbing inside. Sam followed her in. Freddy hung back, looking at the car, his arms folded over his chest. If he got in there, and people saw him, his popularity would take a nosedive. Oh, well. Climbing into the back, Freddy sat between Sam and Fanny. He slid down so people couldn't see him. He so needed to get his car back from the garage.

"How was school?" Damon asked them.

"Great. Fine. Boring," the three said at the same time.

Fanny looked out the window, while Sam pulled out his phone like he expected a call. Freddy watched the view from the front windshield—hoping to get out of the school's parking lot before anyone saw him.

Thankfully, they got out, without seeing anyone Freddy gave a damn about. On their way to the house, Freddy sat up, and looked at Fanny, who looked like she lost her best friend. "How're things with you and Sandy?" he asked her.

"I don't want to talk about it?" Fanny mumbled.

Damon glanced at them. "Something wrong you and the Sand-Lady?" he inquired with a smile.

Fanny shrugged.

Freddy offered up intel. "Sandy's got a girlfriend."

"Freddy," Fanny snapped, smacking his right arm.

"Ouch," Freddy groaned, rubbing his arm.

"Anyone I know?" Damon asked Freddy.

"Yeah. Jos," Freddy said, and Fanny hit again.

"Everyone is going to know soon, anyway," Freddy snapped. "Stop hitting me."

"I'll hit you if I want to," Fanny snapped back, smacking him three more times.

"Fan, we don't hit people. No, we don't hit friends. No, we don't hit people, and tell mom about it," Damon told them.

Freddy let out a laugh. "Rules to live by."

The van stopped in the driveway, and Damon got out. "So, about you and Sandy not getting along," he began when Fanny looked over Freddy's shoulder.

"Oh, come on, dad!" Fanny yelled.

Freddy spotted Sandy, Jos, Li, and Hope on the Salvatore's front porch. "Bonnie and Caroline have a thing and they wanted to have a Ladies' Day at a spa, or some crap like that. Guess who gets to keep an eye on all of you?" He pointed at himself and crossed his eyes.

"This is not fair," Fanny mumbled as she got out of the car.

"It sucks," Sam added, his mood deflating as Freddy followed him to the house.

Damon walked past them. "Hello, girls!" he called to them.

"Hi, Mr. Salvatore!" they called back.

"Ugh," Damon muttered, opening the door, and waving them inside. "You wants chips and salsa, and whatever else I can microwave, since I'm tired?"

"Sounds good," Freddy called after him.

Damon left them in the living room. Hope kept staring at Li, Jos and Sandy. Jos refused to look at Hope. Freddy suspected that something was up.

"Thought you girls were going to your place?" Freddy teased Sandy, who gave him a dirty look. "Want to take this outside?" he said, pointing toward the back of the house.

"Yes," Fanny said. She led the way.

"We're going out to the pool, dad!" Sam yelled to Damon.

"Okay!" Damon shouted back.

The group went outside, and sat beside the pool. Hope broke the silence. "Freddy, can we talk?" she asked him. He felt confused as she nodded at the house.

"Sure," Freddy got to his feet and followed Hope into the house.

Damon walked past them. "I've got food," he told them.

"We're going out to the porch; I dropped something," Hope explained.

"O-kay," Damon rolled his eyes and continued to the back of the house.

"I need your help," she told Freddy, once they were outside.

"With what?" Freddy felt so confused.

"I'm bringing my family back, and your mom might try to interfere with that." Hope sat on the porch swing and looked up at Freddy. "But you have to stop her."

Shaking his head; Freddy laughed. "Me? Stop my mom from doing anything? You're funny, Hope. Really."

"Freddy, I'm serious!" Hope cried, grabbing his arm and pulling him down next to her. "Look, your mom is like this hunter, and she's going to be upset about my plan. And she can't get in the way. She might die, Freddy."

"My mom is a professor. Not a hunter. That was my dad," Freddy replied. Getting to his feet, he started to go back inside, when Hope darted in front of him; pressing her body against the door.

"Where is your mom, Freddy?" Hope questioned him.

Freddy sighed. "She's on one of her expeditions."

"Where?" Hope demanded.

"I don't know. It's not like she tells me everywhere she's going, or that I tell her everywhere I go," Freddy sighed, moving to sit down on the swing.

Hope sat down next to him. "She's your mom. She would tell you where she went, unless she didn't want you to know what she's doing." Her words rang true. Freddy settled back into the swing.

"Okay. So, what is it that you're planning on doing that you don't want my mom messing with?" Freddy asked Hope, who shook her head.

"I can't tell you," Hope replied.

"You want me to help you, and you refuse to tell me what I'm helping you with? No deal." Freddy got to his feet.

Hope tugged him back down. "Okay," she said, turning to him, and folding her legs underneath her. "Promise me you will tell no one?"

"Yeah," Freddy said. Hope gave him a long look. "Okay. I said: Yeah? You want my blood?"

"No." Hope shook her head. "I'm bringing my family back. The Original family."

Laughing, Freddy shook his head, and then he saw that Hope was not laughing. "No, Hope. I'm not helping you with guy who ruined my dad's life." He got up, and Hope jerked him back down, again.

"Freddy, please," Hope begged, taking his hands and nearly crawling into his lap. "Please, help me, Freddy," she cried, pressing closer to him.

There was a time that Freddy would have welcomed this kind of attention from Hope, but those days were long over. "Nope," he said, shifting away from her.

"I can help you see your dad," Hope cried as Freddy stood up and started to walk into the house.

Hope's words hit him like bullets, and Freddy felt like he should check for blood. "What?" his voice came out low as he turned to look down at her.

"I can. Jacob is working on a way to see his father. If we can do it, then there's no reason that you can't see yours. They'll all be in the same place. Freddy, you can finally meet Tyler," Hope cried, getting to her feet and grabbing him by the shoulders. "Isn't that what you've wanted forever?"

Freddy gulped. He'd heard so many stories about his dad, from his mom. But to see him, to talk to him and to be able to get a hug from his old man. Looking at the sun, Freddy felt his whole world titling. "How do you need me to keep my mom out of this?"

"By any means possible. She won't hurt you, and you won't hurt her. You just have to keep her out of the fray," Hope told him.

Sighing, Freddy looked at his sneakers, and then at Hope. "I guess I can try. But if your plan doesn't work; don't blame me. You can probably blame your boyfriend, because he's an ass." Freddy opened the door and walked back into the Salvatore's house; trying to not think about this conversation. Why did he feel like he just sold his soul to the devil?

The Originals will return in Ch. 19: Homecoming: Part I and will be with us 'til the end of this story, followed by more of them in Bad Moon Rising.

Thank you for reading, liking, reblogging and following. :)

Peace,

#jacob salvatore #marcel gerard #rebekah mikaelson #rebel #artemis gerard #theo gerard #kol mikaelson #davina claire #kolvina #elijah mikaelson #freya mikaelson #keenlin #sam salvatore #freddy lockwood #hope mikaelson #fanny salvatore #sandy bennett-gilbert #damon salvatore #tvd/tofanfiction

2 notes · View notes

brokebecauseconcerts-blog · 7 years

Photo

Father

John

Misty

Where oh where do I begin? I try not to pick favorites, in anything I do. I think picking favorites sets people up for failure. I figure there will be one day another candidate outshines the favorite, resulting in disappointment. But fuck it, Father John Misty is my favorite. And I trust it because there is virtually nothing he can do wrong that would take that title away- and he does a lot of textbook things “wrong”.

Josh Tillman stole my heart when I heard “I’m Writing a Novel” on WFUV Radio when I was in college (around 2012) Not knowing much about him personally, I started listening to “Fear Fun” and fell in love with his music. “Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings” and “Everyman Needs a Companion” landed every mixed CD (yep, still made CDS in 2012) and I decided to dig a little deeper and actually check the dude out. WOAH he’s hot! WAIT he was in Fleet Foxes? OMG he has the exact the type of humor that I adore, equal parts witty, snarky and dark. Fuck, he has a girlfriend. I’m absolutely done, they’re getting married. I can’t remember a time I fell so hard for an artist post-emo/punk/highschool days (Think Gerard Way and Travis Barker).

However, I’m really fucking glad he was and is in such a beautiful relationship because thats how his sophomore album came to be. i wasn't sure If I’d ever love an album as much as “Fear Fun” but lo & behold: “I Love You, Honeybear” took & continues to take the damn cake. Has there ever been an album (albeit, Rumours) that has described love so honestly? It talks about the honeymoon phase in depth, the ga-ga feelings and pedestals that we put our partners on in the beginning. The way new love helps us start to feel creative again, or creative in a new, fresh way. And then after time, how love can start to get a little paranoid and jealous. It’s messy, it’s raw and it sort of made me hate his beloved Emma (who eats bread & butter like like a queen would have ostrich and cobra wine. Listen if you don't get the reference but also stop talking to me: https://open.spotify.com/track/2eg2gvPXuwZ9FyrPaLgrXi) Could you I-M-A-G-I-N-E having someone write you a love song such as that? Fun fact, I heard this song for the first time freshly after ending a 4 year relationship. Bad timing? Nah, it actually was so beautiful and uplifting that the song gave me hope and made me feel secure that I haven't found the right person yet and that I didn't just lose that person (burn). It gave me hope that I’d eventually meet someone that I could picture having a satanic christmas eve with or dance around to a mariachi band with. Spoiler Alert: FJM did help me find love. I will get to that at the end. Any who, this album ruled and continue to rules my world. The title track “I Love You, Honeybear” is about taking on the shitastic world we live in with someone you love. “Bored in the USA” is about the absurdities within our pop culture and the bullshit promise of the American Dream gone wrong. The album as a whole is romantic and existentialist and I am 100%AboutThat.com

And then we were gifted “Pure Comedy”. I write that with a sigh. Not because I am disappointed but because It’s heavy. It highlights our current political and social climate and it does so in a very dark, darker than usual way. When he realeased the video for title track, “Pure Comedy” a few short months after the election I wept at my desk. The song itself is so eerie and fantastical with the baritone sax wailing the fuck off as Donald Trump’s face slyly pops up. I Think FJM is making the point that everything happening right now is so fucking ugly and wrong that it’s absurdly funny. Not haha-funny, just...funny. As in “something smells funny”, as in our country. He attacks religion, pop-stars (gotcha, Taylor Swift), environmental issues, the delusional lifestyle of LA inhabitants, you name it. But, in true Josh Tillman fashion, and we know theres a big beating heart in there, he ends the album in a hopeful way with “In Twenty Years or So”. In the song, Tillman addresses the cosmic indifference of the universe and the existential fear that comes with it. In the first two verses he sets up the great comedy: That despite all our grand gesturing and philosophizing (with the character of Father John Misty as the embodiment of this behavior), we ultimately don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Then in the second verse he starts to assign a little more meaning to the chaos.

That in twenty years More or less This human experiment will reach its violent end But I look at you As our second drinks arrive The piano player's playing "This Must Be the Place" And it's a miracle to be alive

I *think* he’s saying, “Look, the world is fucked, we’re only getting worse, it’s too much to handle, but thank god I have you to navigate it with. And we have music, and it really all is amazing, isn't it”. I’m sorry it sounds like a basic Audrey Hepburn wannabe annotation of his beautifully written song, but It comforts me. It’s like a really elongated and philosophic way of saying “All you Need is Love”, but The Beatles beat him to it.

All in all, “Pure Comedy” takes us through a (trippy) walk of life thats starts out as that scene in Willy Wonka where they’re all taking a boat ride through the tunnel of hellish images, to a calm setting where all you want to do is hug the people you love and be left with the simple yet complex thought, “it’s all going to be okay”. Bravo FJM for creating such a mature and powerful album. I think melodically it is not for everyone, as it is much slower that what he’s done. But give it a good listen through and really listen to what he’s saying. If 2017 had to sound like anything (besides screams and tears) it would sound like “Pure Comedy”.

Kk thanks for reading.

OH WAIT, yeah I forgot this is a concert blog. Well! I saw him last night at the Kings Theatre in Flatbush, Brooklyn. A tremendously stunning place to see live music, in my opinion. He played most of “Pure Comedy” straight through, without any speeches or commentary. Nerd moment- I fuuucking love when artists do this with newly released albums. it shows they care about it, it shows they're not just trying to appease the crowd with favorites. It’s saying here is the art i just created and worked on for mad amount of time. Sit the fuck down and experience it. He did every song except the 13 minute “Leaving LA” (good call IMO) and the last two songs, yanno, the uplifiting ones. Then halfway through he broke out the oldies, a couple from “Fear Fun” and a bunch from “I Love You, Honeybear”. The whole theater was standing and dancing and watching HIM dance and holy shit I love when tall lanky men swivel their hips. Probably one of the best parts about seeing Father John Misty live is watching him break it down. He was even slow dancing with himself at one point during “Strange Encounter” and i was both turned on and hysterically laughing. One interesting point to make was that he was oddly quiet. He’s known for long on-stage rants, whether they're actually anger driven or just a comedy bit- they usually always show up on Pitchfork the next day. This was my third time seeing him and i’ve had the pleasure of hearing some of those rants and raves. This time he was quiet, appreciative and...mature? IDK I really liked it. I think it mimicked the seriousness of his newest album and demanded that you pay attention to the music and what it’s trying to say. I noticed a bunch of Brooklyn bros at the end of the show making comments like “he wasn't that funny!” “I thought he was going to talk more” and thats fine, but maybe consider why that is. After he came back on for his encore he played the last two songs on “Pure Comedy” and ended on a very special and postive note with a v sweet sun and moon setting in the background. Father John Misty is giving us hope.

Also I felt this deserved it’s own paragraph but his band absolutely blew me away. I would 100% go see them live without vocals. He had an entire orchestra + five piece band. Another additive to the experience compared to past Father John Misty concerts, as he’s always played with just a 5 piece band. It made the album come alive in the most spectacular way.

All in all, he is still my favorite. I hope to see much more from him in the future because I think he has a really really good thing going on on all levels. So back on the topic on Father John Misty and hoping to find love. JOSH, BABE. if you ever see this, I owe you some thanks. If it weren't for you and if it weren't for Tinder syncing my Facebook page likes, I never would have matched with my current partner whom we both share a massive and almost grotesque love for you & we wouldn't have anything to talk about on our first date, or a an album to makeout to for the first time. so really, thanks. At the risk of sounding like a cheese dick, It’s amazing to me that your song, the one that gave me hope and an idea of an ideal partner, led me to so much happiness. Awwwww.

Steam “Pure Comedy” & go through an existential crisis, today! https://open.spotify.com/album/3CoFoDt6zt5EKxmTpOX32b

#father john misty #pure comedy

6 notes · View notes

mychemicalficrecs · 4 years

Note

Hi so I've read 2 my chem sports AUs recently (All We Need Is Daylight by Helena_Hathaway and Getting the Gold by frankiesin) and I loved them surprisingly a lot because My Chemical Romance and various sports are not something you'd expect go together. I'm wondering if you know of any other sports AUs?

Hi Nonny!

There's a few Sports AUs I know and if you don't mind High School Sports AUs, there's quite a few of those as well!

Sports AUs

All We Need is Daylight by Helena_Hathaway, Frank/Gerard, 240k [WIP], Explicit. Frank is thrust all too suddenly into a new life, one where he's not warmly welcomed. He's the best goddamn hockey player he knows, though, and he's not going to let anyone take that away from him. Or at least, not until his world comes tumbling down.

Getting the Gold by frankiesin, Mikey/Pete, 9k, General Audiences. It's Mikey's first time as an Olympic coach, and he's navigating the new role pretty well until he meets the men's swim coach. Pete's gorgeous, funny, and entertaining as hell, but Mikey's pretty sure he's already got a boyfriend. Also featuring Mikey and Lindsey being Super Bros, and way too many baby athletes in need of supervision.

you wanna get it for free by akamine_chan, Ray/Mikey, 2k, Explicit. Ray's a wrestler, you see...

Pages In Your Passport by inlovewithnight, Mikey/Pete, 15k, Explicit. Pete pursued soccer instead of music. He has a good long run in the game. Then in 2010, he meets this guy in a band.

The Circuit by stoplightglow, Frank/Gerard, 24k, Teen And Up Audiences. In the world of competitive motorcycle racing, nothing is more prestigious than the Grand Circuit Tour. Americans everywhere gather to watch as the twelve best racers in the nation compete for the title of Circuit Champion and $100,000. Gerard Way is no stranger to the race. When he was a teenager, his name was practically legend - but after disappearing without explanation six years ago, he's become little more than a relic of the past. Now, at age twenty-six, Gerard is back on the Circuit with something to prove. It's Frank Iero's first year on the tour, but he's more than ready. No one has seen a kid blast through the ranks so fast since Gerard Way first appeared on the scene a decade ago. With a cocky attitude and the whole country swooning over him, nothing can slow him down. The stakes have never been so high. Welcome to the Fourteenth Annual Grand Circuit Tour.

Down And Dirty by dear_monday, Frank/Gerard, 3k, Explicit. Gerard's own beloved cherry-red Harley has pedigree in fucking spades, sure, but she's seen better days, and she just doesn't have the power to outrun Iero and that revolting custom paint job. The matching helmet painted to look like a jack-o-lantern is just too much. An AU wherein the boys are dirty bikers, inspired by the recently-released photos from the Japanese Rolling Stone shoot.

shut up and drive by Trojie, uglowian, Patrick/Mikey/Pete, 139k, Teen And Up Audiences. Pete Wentz is the grid girl, Andy Hurley loves him (not like that), and Jared Leto is the bad guy. A.K.A.: the bandom The Fast and the Furious AU that literally no one asked for.

Another Cog In The Murder Machine by ace_writez, Ray/Mikey, 3k [WIP], General Audiences. Mikey's life is set. He's going to get a basketball scholarship for university and then play in the big leagues. All he has to do is get team captain his last year of high school. But he runs into some competition when another good player also tries out. Suddenly he's not so sure he's going to make it. Ray is also trying for a scholarship. As the star quarterback of Belleville High for three years, he's gunning for a fourth. When a situation at home suddenly drags him down, and a certain boy at school catches his eye, he finds himself at a crossroads. Two boys. Two sports. One school, and one story.

Day Seven: Half Dressed - Frerard by LeatherlipsIero, Frank/Gerard, 3k, Mature. Frank reached out his hand for the stranger to shake, "I'm Frank, let me buy you a drink as an apology?" He smiled again when the stranger grabbed his strong and callused hand with his own soft one. "Thank you, but it's my fault, honestly." The strange and pretty man tried to explain but Frank didn't care. "I insist." He said and sent the beautiful stranger a half smirk with half-lidded bedroom eyes, which had the poor boy blushing in seconds. Score.

Olympians by krissykane, Frank/Gerard, 3k, General Audiences. Frank is a shooter who has (somehow) made it to his second Olympic games. There he joins the crowd at a fencing event and sees a certain Team USA fencer for the first time.

Take One For The Team (Excuse Me If I'm Rude) by frenchpirate (Whiskey_n_speed), Mikey/Pete, 25k, Explicit. “So, your coach,” Gabe started, change of subject, thank god. “Yeah, what about him?” Mikey asked and glanced over at Pete who was heading towards the coach locker rooms, dragging a net of footballs after him. “You never told me he was hot. I’m pretty sure that’s withholding indispensable information. I should’ve signed up for the soccer team.” He said halfway jokingly, and William scoffed and rolled his eyes. “What, he’s not-“ “He so is. He’s like totally – small and handy,” He made a smooth explanatory hand-motion. “I want to fit him in my pocket.” * (Or; twenty eight scenes about skipping school, douchebag friends, post-college parties and way too much soccer)

Boxer!Fic by iamdali, Frank/Gerard, 47k, Explicit, General Audiences. After med school, Gerard had this idea of what life would be like. The idea now probably seems more than ridiculous, but still it’s what he clung to in order to drag himself through those gruelling morning hours after an all nighter of studying or writing some preposterously long paper on some disease or medical break through or why whatever part of the human body does whatever it does, and what happens when it doesn’t.

It's Not A Side Effect Of The Triple Axel (I'm Thinking It Must Be Love) by mizubyte (b_dsaint), Mikey/Pete, 10k, Teen And Up Audiences. If not for Alicia, Mikey never would have stepped on to the ice, let alone become a figure skater. Now, over 15 years later, Vancouver is Mikey's last chance for Olympic Gold. If he doesn't get distracted by snowboarder Pete Wentz, that is.

If The Skates Don't Fit by halfeatenmoon, Lindsey/Gerard, 12k, Teen And Up Audiences. Lyn-Z thought her rollerderby team might have a chance of winning some games this year, until she discovered that the new girl she'd recruited to the team was actually a man named Gerard. With a week to go until the first match against their long-time rivals, the Cobras, Lyn-Z and her teammates instead steal one of the Cobras' players - Maja, who has been feeling underappreciated since her side was joined by a new star. Maja's a great player, but it's a challange to learn to skate with a new teammate with only a week to go, especially when she still has some unresolved issues with her old captain.

Split lips hurt by toxic_fox, Frank/Gerard, 769 words, Teen And Up Audiences. Every Thursday, at six o’ clock sharp, frank goes boxing. He loves the adrenaline, the rush he gets from fighting, the blood, the pain. He kind of likes the kind medic as well.

Uppercut by mcrhomo, Frank/Gerard, 3k [WIP], Teen And Up Audiences. Frank is dealing with a lot in his life, including body dysmorphia. When he signs up for a boxing class to lose weight, he meets Gerard, and his whole life is turned several different ways (for better and for worse).

I Believe You're The Enemy (Game On) by imanemostan, Frank/Gerard, 2k, Mature. Constant affairs kept secret by frank and gerard, on different laser tag teams playing against each other. weirdly enough, both their schools have an official laser tag team. How will they ever be able to keep this a secret?

I Just Want You by Bridgetti, Frank/Gerard, 2k, General Audiences. Frank teaches Gerard to skate.

It's All In the Game by happilysurviving (orphan_account), Frank/Gerard, 46k [WIP], Mature. Even jocks have issues. Especially the closeted ones who have friends they have to kick off their football teams. And it gets even worse when they have to kick them off because of a homophobic coach. But of course that's only the beginning as this is Dan Howell and he always has to have larger problems on top of the ones everyone else would believe to be impossible to handle. Having Frank as his best friend certainly doesn't help or the head gossip guru in town as his mother but it could be worse, right? I mean he could be in love with an opposing team's quarterback... Oh wait.

Frerard Football Team AU For Which I Could Not Think of a Title by franks_hands, Frank/Gerard, 5k, Teen And Up Audiences. In the locker room and at practices, Frank was noisy, bordering on obnoxious. He seemed to bounce off the walls sometimes. He didn’t know about personal space.

of cute boys and rollerskates by etselec, Mikey/Pete, 1k, General Audiences. “I’m teaching you how to skate,” Mikey nearly fell as he removed Pete’s arms away from him. He squeezed his hand instead, “so our next date it won’t be as awkward.” “Date?” Pete asked. “Well, we’re holding hands already, aren’t we?” Mikey smiled at him.

Hand in Mine, Into Your Icy Blues by sundrowned, Frank/Gerard, 28k, General Audiences. Gerard is the captain of the hockey team and his overbearing father is the coach. When a new boy named Frank joins the team, Gerard has to decide weather to follow his father's orders to stay away from the boy or choose his own path.

Skating In A Ttutu by runaway_killjoy, Frank/Gerard, 51k, Teens And Up Audiences, Explicit. Frank has to move towns with his mom. He's disheartened to realize that teenagers are judgemental and manipulative no matter where you go. And no one gets judged quite as bad as the ballerina/skater boy who isn't even 5ft. Skater boy AU prompt, Frerard

Powderpuff by Gorgeous Nerd (gorgeousnerd), Frank/Gerard, 2k, Explicit. It isn't like Frank's opposed to powderpuff football. The timing's just kind of bad.

Get Up And Go by inlovewithnight, 6k, Teen And Up Audiences. Mikey Way: Ultramarathon Runner.

#fic rec list #frank/gerard #mikey/pete #ray/mikey #patrick/mikey/pete #lindsey/gerard #alternate universe #sports

11 notes · View notes