#FUCKING KURT COBAIN??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME
Text
Nirvana - The Man Who Sold the World
1993
"The Man Who Sold the World" is the title track of David Bowie's third studio album, which was released in 1970 in the US and in 1971 in the UK. Although no singles were issued from the album, the song appeared as the B-side on the 1973 reissue US single release of "Space Oddity" and UK single release of "Life on Mars?".
In his journals, Kurt Cobain of the American grunge band Nirvana ranked the album The Man Who Sold the World at number 45 in his top 50 favourite albums. Nirvana subsequently recorded a live rendition of the song during their MTV Unplugged appearance at Sony Music Studios in New York City on 18 November 1993 and it was included on their MTV Unplugged in New York album released on November 1, 1994, nearly seven months following the death of Cobain. The song was also released as a promotional single for the album in 1995.
Nirvana's cover received considerable airplay on alternative rock radio stations and was also placed into heavy rotation on MTV, peaking at number 3 on MTV's most played videos on 18 February 1995; it also peaked for two weeks at number 7 on Canada's MuchMusic Countdown in March 1995. Nirvana regularly covered the song during live sets after their MTV Unplugged performance up until Cobain's death. In 2002, the song was re-released on Nirvana's self-titled "best of" compilation.
Bowie said of Nirvana's cover: "I was simply blown away when I found that Kurt Cobain liked my work, and have always wanted to talk to him about his reasons for covering 'The Man Who Sold the World'" and that "it was a good straight forward rendition and sounded somehow very honest." Bowie called Nirvana's cover "heartfelt", noting that "until this [cover], it hadn't occurred to me that I was part of America's musical landscape. I always felt my weight in Europe, but not [in the US]." In the wake of its release, Bowie bemoaned the fact that when he performed the number himself, he would encounter "kids that come up afterwards and say, 'It's cool you're doing a Nirvana song.' And I think, 'Fuck you, you little tosser!'"
At a pre–Grammy Awards party on 14 February 2016, Nirvana band members Krist Novoselic, Dave Grohl, and Pat Smear teamed up with Beck to perform "The Man Who Sold the World" in tribute to Bowie – who had died the month before — with Beck performing vocals.
"The Man Who Sold the World" received a total of 77,6% yes votes!
Dave Grohl has previously been featured in the polls with Foo Fighter's "The Pretender" at #111 and as a drummer on Queens of the Stone Age's "No One Knows" at #87, and David Bowie has been featured with "I'm Afraid of Americans" at #33.
youtube
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
zigmar i come to you humbly on this fine evening with the simple request that you give me some sort of might duck sustenance por favor and muchas gracias
they can be incoherent and stupid and goofy and silly to the max i just need to rotate this little kids like rotisserie chickens in my mind (esp fulton portman and julie)
random miscellaneous tmd thoughts !
✧ warnings: some of them may be ooc ngl
✧ additional info: u got it pookums 😈😈😈🙏 also these can be read as either platonic or romantic (not luis)
✧ m.list — nav.
♡ charlie conway !
the most insane taste in music literally ever
bro goes from madonna to death metal SO FAST
but ngl his playlist is always the best and he always gets to play music whenever u go anywhere
but oh my god he’d love pierce the veil in present day
HES ALSO LIKE SOMEHOW AMAZING AT MATH. but he cannot do science for literal shit
also his clothing style changes js like his music taste
will literally be kurt cobain one day and morrissey the next (hed hate morrissey though)
♡ adam banks !
every team sleepover/event/literally anything could js be a spontaneous hangout is always at his house
it’s because he’s rich and his house is huge as fuck and he has every board game known to man
just do not play uno because a fight always breaks out (charlie is always part of it)
he’s always the one who ends the fight also
he has this very calming presence that’s so nice to be around and him js talking to whoever got into a fight immediately helps calm them down
also weirdly good at comforting in the middle of the night but never during the day??
♡ lester averman !
he would watch full house religiously prove me wrong
his favourite character is obviously joey because they are one in the same
everyone on the team and their mother has been forced to watch full house while he’s been at their house/vice versa
he can also cook like. decently well !! it’s not something he’d prefer to do but he will for his friends if they’re tired or smth
♡ fulton reed !
this little shit
he is so unbelievably competitive over the smallest things it’s actually insane
typa guy to race u to see who can get to one side of the room first and start genuinely tweaking if he doesn’t win
at sleepovers he refuses to fall asleep first even if it’s just by a few minutes
he could be dead to the world but still have his eyes open cause he refuses to let u win (unless ur his s/o cause he might consider it that way)
♡ connie moreau !
she is definitely a theatre kid idc
her favourite musicals are probably grease, hairspray and heathers
she likes female main characters!!
everytime she gets into a new fandom she immediately starts thinking abt what it’d be like a musical and probably wanted to be a composer at some point
would 100% beg to use the aux on a road trip and then blast hamilton loud as balls
she wholeheartedly believes six is a top tier musical and she will DIE on this hill
(fun fact i’ve met andrea macasaet <3)
♡ guy germaine !
modern day guy would’ve loved basic white girl music
“life is too short to pretend to hate taylor swift” —him
also 100% a britney spears girlie. and nsync and every stereotypical white girl artist
but i wholeheartedly believe britney would be his favourite and he has her whole discography on cassette, cd, vinyl, u name it he has a britney spears collection
also his ass is NOT straight 💀 i’ve never met a straight man who listens to britney spears
♡ julie gaffney !
lowkey a regina george multitude if she wasn’t kinda. yk. a bad person
she’s a mix of cher and regina
everyone at the fancy ass boarding school literally loves her because she’s calm, smart pretty nice etc etc she’s just a really great person to be around
shes that one student who has every assignment finisher a week early, all a’s and 100% in every subject WITHOUT being mean abt it!!
her ass is friends with the whole student population and knows every well and knows all the drama but won’t tell everyone if she thinks it’s too personal (it’s it’s random petty nonsense she tells the team)
♡ ken wu !
secretly rlly good friends with julie but nobody knows even though they do not try to hide it at all
literally wander the halls talking abt whatever just for everyone to be like “y’all are friends???”
also this man secretly loves lana del rey
him and julie will sit on his bedroom floor and literally tell him the most insane and jaw dropping gossip she heard that day while lana is playing in the background
everytime someone asks his favourite lana song he says grandfather please stand on the shoulders of my father while he’s deep-sea fishing on did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean blvd to fuck with them
♡ dean portman !
is actually very very good at math!!
he was a tutor for the 9th/10th graders for a bit to get volunteer hours and also cause he just likes doing math
you’d expect it to be like doing homework with ur dad and the poor kid is in tears while deans like “WHATS NINE. TIMES TWO.” but he’s actually surprisingly patient
if he’s explained something a few times and they still don’t get it he’ll just try it a different way until they get it and work them through the problem
has rlly strong relationships with the 9th and 10th graders cause of this and is essentially their older brother figure
the amount of 14/15 year olds that he’s given relationship advice too is insane (id be one of the 14 year olds probably)
♡ luis mendoza !
his type is secretly quiet girls cause he finds them rlly interesting and likes the thought of them being happy around him but quiet around everyone else
he’s like yes girl be urself with me
it all stemmed from the girl he liked in 8th grade who helped pick up his pencils when she accidentally knocked his pencil case out of his hand (she was a quiet nerdy girl)
like a whole year later and he’s still trying to rizz her up 💀
he’s one of those guys who takes forever to lose feelings
the girl is actually good friends with him btw
♡ dwayne robertson !
i feel like he is fucking AMAZING at baking
his icon is dolly parton and he heard berry pie so he immediately learned how to bake
if someone he knows has a birthday he either bakes the birthday cake or brings them something he made depending on how close he is with them
and holy shit it’s the most amazing thing u will ever taste and nothing will ever compare
yes he’s one of those guys who will go on an 18 minute tangent on how amazing dolly parton is if someone talks shit about her (same i love dolly)
#mars writing 🧈#lee 🐴#mars silly little mutuals <3#the mighty ducks#tmd#the mighty ducks x reader#tmd x reader#charlie conway#adam banks#lester averman#fulton reed#connie moreau#guy germaine#julie gaffney#ken wu#kenny wu#dean portman#luis mendoza#dwayne robertson
77 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi, i really love your posts, i was wondering if you could perhaps do dating jess mariano hc’s. No problem if you dont want to but anything for jess would be amazing🤍
𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐑.
d a t i n g j e s s m a r i a n o h c!
pairings! jess mariano x fem! reader
a/n! oh my goddd i love him so fucking much guys. it’s practically an illness at this point. anyways i hope i did you justice ;)
+ being with stars hollow's own troublemaker was a front page story itself
+ everyone told you your heart would get broken and to not fall for such a rebellious kid
+ but he’s so much more than a gnome stealer with good music taste
+ he always brought you food when you were alone
+ and honestly got a little flushed when you walked into the diner one day in a mini skirt
+ he'd never admit it though
+ but he pulled you into the supply closet and placed kisses all over like he'd lose you in ten seconds if he didn't
+ "is it my birthday today?”
+ getting caught by luke right before the good stuff was gonna happen
+ "really you two? you're that rabid that you couldn't have gone upstairs? you're on food kids, this is a business. you can't multiply next to my cheese!”
+ jess pulling you out of the room before you could apologize (taking luke's advice and taking you upstairs)
+ making you a tape of some random songs that made him think of you
+ lots of the strokes, the smiths, inhaler, nirvana, pixies, and a bunch of random rock songs
+ obviously and i love her by kurt cobain
+ can't forget a few halestorm songs
+ a random knock at your window while you brushed through your hair made your head turn, already knowing who it was
+ he was sat there and raised his eyebrows at you as you opened the windows and he pressed a kiss to your lips
+ he handed you the tape, laying on your bed in the process
+ he denied whenever you teased him for the sweet gesture
+ even though it was all true
+ random visits through your window on a daily basis
+ your mom heard them nearly everytime but did nothing to stop the interaction as long as you were using protection
+ walks through stars hollow with his arm around you are by far his favorite activity
+ besides maybe reading together by a tree
+ ooh and gifting you books he annotated for you while he should have been working
+ taking little pins that say weird shit from record shops and putting them on your bag and on his jacket
+ so you're like always together
+ falling asleep on the phone and luke finding jess after he closed up, cuddling the phone to his ear
+ and don’t worry, he didn’t let his little lovebot forget
+ when you guys were just friends, he stole a photo booth slide from your mirror and kept it in his nightstand every since
+ and not for any weird reason but simply to see that pretty smile whenever he pleased
+ getting pissed off whenever you interact with a guy your age
+ even if you're just being polite or doing your job, he's all "hi" and giving you a wet kiss to make sure that guy knows
+ getting a stick and poke of your initial on his hand because he can. he's jess.
+ and since you're not quite there yet, you wrote his initals on your favorite pair of sneakers
+ "why did you yell at that guy at work he won't talk to me now?" "i told him if he did talk to you... i'd cut his tongue out and make him swallow it." "very mature jess, your psycho is showing." "good, thought i lost my touch."
+ calling into radio stations or camping out by himself just to get you concert tickets
+ luke trying to take a picture of the both of you
+ you smiling awkwardly while jess is simply annoyed but looks over at you, his eyes softening and a small smile falling on his face
+ that picture being framed above the fireplace the two of you share in new york <333
#gilmore girls#jess mariano x reader#lorelai gilmore#teddypickerry#jess mariano#rory gilmore#jess mariano x y/n#luke danes#jess mariano headcannons
496 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am on this Earth for a limited amount of time, and I will spend that time being cringe about South Park characters
I want to see Goth Kenny.
I always see shit about Kenny being a juggalo, or maybe grunge, which is cool, those kinda make sense to me. The juggalo hc makes sense because SP looooves to make fun of the McCormicks for being white trash, and even though ICP HATES white trash, it doesn’t stop them from being associated with each other… sadly 😔. The grunge hc makes sense because Kenny looks like Kurt Cobain. He just-… he just does.
But listen… goth Kenny makes sense.
He gets along with Henrietta, they flirt back and forth saying that they’re dark or whatever
he knows a lot about death, probably. which is pretty goth imo.
Him being immortal makes him experience pain no one could possibly relate to. “No one understands me” mentality
In the Hawaii episode, he shows to have quite the writing skill, I propose he has a poetry phase. There’s also that glitter art he made that one time of a murder-clown, and there’s an episode dedicated to his love of Halloween, he might be be a horror fan.
He fucking hates vamp kids. Why? I don’t know. Maybe he knows they’re truly just a bunch of CONFORMISTS!!!!! /j
Mysterion reminds me a lot of The Crow, who is a goth icon
He’s literally associated with an eldritch being, it doesn’t get more goth than that, are you fucking kidding me
I can’t really imagine Kenny being super mopey like the other goth kids though. Personally I think maybe he could play into the whole “perky goth” stereotype, but like downplayed a bit?
Take this with a HEAVY grain of salt. I love alternative subcultures, especially goths, but I can’t really say I’m an expert on this stuff, especially since I don’t really identify with the label
But anyway, I just thought it’d be a fun idea to play around with :P
#south park#kenny mccormick#goth aesthetic#gothic#alternative#alt aesthetic#henrietta biggle#mysterion#the fractured but whole#casa bonita#cringecore#cringe#ramblings
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sister's boyfriend (tate Langdon x harmon fem! Reader)
Summary: you were violets sister the lesser known one of the Harmon family and you finally met tate langdon whilst snooping around your dad's office
Chapter warnings: mentions of sh, being the outcast of the family
A/n: this was shit but i'm thinking of doing a part 2
•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°
Being part of the Harmon family was, well complicated, where do you start well first off your dad Ben, is a psychiatrist who cheated on your mom Vivian, who just suffered a miscarriage, your sister violet a teenager who smoked cigarettes and cuts herself, you smoked to you weren't cutting yourself.
And as for you well you were the troublemaker of the family, the outcast with depression and anxiety, who gets high almost everyday, the rebellious one, with the mental health issues but you didn't care.
Your family up and moved to L.A from Boston, your whole life now packed up in boxes your friends now in the past just you and your family, you were two years older than violet, you didn't want to pack up and leave your life behind.
But now here you are in a creepy old house, seeing all these weird things, ghosts?, you didn't know to clear your mind of this misery you were in, you sneaked in your dad's office snooping around, going through his patience files.
You finally came across one file in particular, Tate Langdon, he's the same age as you, seventeen, his mother requested he sees your father, looking in his file "snooping through files cool" a voice startling you.
"Who are you?" You asked the blonde boy infront of you the file in your hand as he looked through the file a smirk on his face.
"I'm the person who's on that file" your face dropped you didn't know what to say "oh right erm sorry" you awkwardly chuckled placing the file back down where it belongs. "So your my dad's next appointment" you asked closing the drawer on your dad's desk.
"Yeah my mom made me start seeing him I thought he only had one daughter" tate said confused making you realise that he was the boy she never shutted up about.
"Yeah I'm the kid everyone forgets about, the eldest" you sighed plopping down on the sofa tate stood in the room, awaiting your father.
"So how much older are you to violet?" He asked,"well I'm the same age as you so two years" you said your feet dangling off the arm rest of the sofa.
Tate could lie he was attracted to you, "you like nirvana?" He asked noticing your t-shirt with Kurt cobain on it, "They're my favourite band of all time" you smiled "mine too" tate beamed.
"Thanks for coming tate" your dad entered his office, "y/n what have I told you about being in here" your father sighed, "and since when did I listen to you ben" you smirked at your father's annoyance.
"How can you not be like violet she doesn't come in here and go through my things" Ben sighed, tate stood awkwardly as your father scolded you.
"Yeah that's right you want me to be like her but I'm not she's cold and bitter as for me I'm careless, relentless, well what's my problem doc?" You huffed storming out the room.
Tate and your dad started their session, you were in your room flicking through your albums, annoyed at your dad he always thought something psychological was wrong with you, he did sometimes with violet but with you it was worse.
"Fuck" you groaned kicking the edge of your bed in frustration, as nirvana played in the room.
"You okay?" Tates voice spoke through Kurt cobain's voice entering your bedroom, "Yeah I'm used to it" you said changing your piercing jewellery for your septum and medusa piercing.
Tate thought that you looked hot with the piercings, your style just you, "so you got a boyfriend?" He went on to ask.
"What's with the questions?" You then asked, only for him to shrug, "and if that's your way of asking if I've been fucked the answer is yes why aren't you fucking my sister?" You said screwing the ball of your piercing in.
"Just a question" tate defended, his hands up making you chuckle, "you like lana del rey?" You asked tate pulled a confused expression on what you had asked.
"Don't tell me you haven't heard lana fel rey tate I need to educate you" you said playing the born to die cd. Tate ending up loving her.
"We should hang out more often your fun" tate smiled getting ready to leave your room to go to violets, " we should" you smiled back as the blonde left your room.
You stood there confused why did your sisters boyfriend want to hang out with you? Yes you liked him he was definitely your type on paper, but he's your sisters.
#american horror story#evan peters#tate langdon#evan peters x reader#tate langdon x reader#james patrick march#kit walker#ahs asylum#kai anderson x reader#jimmy darling#kai anderson#ahs murder house#murder house#kyle spencer#austin sommers#evan peters x y/n#evan peters fanfic#evan peters smut#evan peters fanfiction#violet harmon#ahs coven#ahs cult#ahs hotel#ahs fandom#ahs#ahs apocalypse#ahs 1984#ahs double feature#ahs fanfic#ahs smut
283 notes
·
View notes
Text
Five Minutes with Joseph Quinn
Five Minutes with Joseph Quinn Eddie Munson Stranger Things Metalhammer Issue 365
Words: Rich Hobson
Stranger Things’ resident metalhead on playing Eddie Munson, guitar heroes and why Dave Grohl should write Corroded Coffin’s music
When you took the role of Eddie Munson, did you expect that it would take off like it has?
“Not at all. No, I think expectations get you in trouble in this game, and I couldn’t have predicted people’s warmth and acceptance for him. So it’s a really lovely feeling, it caught me completely off guard.”
What attracted you to the role in the first place?
“Well, the chances are so stacked against you - it’s very rare to be asked to participate in something that has this much kind of cultural significance so it was a no-brainer.”
How much of the character had been fleshed out when you were cast?
“I auditioned a couple of scenes that were actually in the show. We had no idea how many episodes he was going to be in; we were told at least four. But I didn’t know anything about what would happen at the end, or how much he would actually be involved in the season. So I’m delighed that I got as much to sink my teeth into.”
What were your influences for the character?
“I think we all those people that were a little bit older than us growing up, that we admired or had a soft spot for. I was always very impressed with those people that were a little bit older than me that were very nonconformist, a little attention seeking.”
How reflective is Eddie of you?
“Not much. We all have moments where we feel vulnerable, maybe overcompensate. I joined my school two years late, so I guess there was maybe a little bit of overcompensation there. But I’ve been very lucky, I’ve always had friends and haven’t felt like too much of an outsider. But with all of my characters, if you don’t humanise them, you don’t care about them, and if people aren’t vulnerable and themselves and authentic, you tend to not really want to be around them. I think we’re far more drawn to someone that’s offensively imperfect than someone that’s constantly trying to be perfect and impressive.”
We hear you “connected with the character through metal” - what were your entry points?
“I listened to Master of Reality by Black Sabbath over and over. Master of Puppets as well, Slayer . . . all that kind of stuff. That was my way into that whole world, really. Black Sabbath were my guys, and Led Zeppelin too, but I guess they’re less metal.”
Is it true you’re actually a guitarist too?
“Yeah, I’ve played since I was a kid, but it’s been woefully under practised in recent years.”
What was it that got you into guitar?
“Well, my dad played guitar and my granddad played for a time, so it’s something we’d do as a family. We are by no means virtuosos, but we all have a go.”
Who are your guitar heroes?
“Hendrix is an obvious one, I was always very enamoured with him. Nirvana were my first proper band obsession, I had all of Kurt Cobain’s posters on my wall. It’s kind of cliché, but it’s true.”
Did you get any input on the epic Master of Puppets solo in the new season? Was it your choice?
“I don’t know where the fuck the showrunners got it from! Ha ha ha! But it was completely their choice. It was the perfect song for a crescendo to take us through this crazy sequence I think it’s an inspired choice, really.”
Will we ever hear Eddie’s band, Corroded Coffin?
“We’re working on an EP . . . Joking! I’m joking!”
It’s not that ridiculous - Dave Grohl did it with Dream Widow this year . . .
“Maybe I should email him - ‘Would you writ the music for Corroded Coffin please?’”
How would they sound?
“Oh, thrash! Proper, old-school thrash - really fast, really evil.”
If you could play any rock star in a biopic, who would you choose?
“Keith Moon would be pretty cool, you could have a lot of fun with him. I don’t understand how that hasn’t been done already. I’ve actually heard that there’s something in the works, but I don’t think I’m in consideration for it. Whoever gets to go at that . . . That’ll be a lot of fun.”
-
Stranger Things Season 4 is streaming now via Netflix
#I can't believe metalhammer is trying to make people buy their magazine for this one pager#release the interview fuckers!#gatekeeping isn't metal#you can make money from the website you know#joseph quinn#joseph quinn interview#joseph quinn interview metalhammer#eddie munson#stranger things 4#metalhammer issue 365
275 notes
·
View notes
Text
Music Ties (kurt cobain x fem! reader) (pt8) WARNING: this is a very disturbing part! mentions of rape & kidnapping & vomit
Kurt POV: Y/N gave her attention to the TV, watching whatever was playing. i fucking hate it. Television has brainwashed our society into whatever the government wants them to believe...that and i want her attention on me...i really like her....ive always wanted alot of attention from people i like since i was a little brat...i get it mostly cause of my shit-headed father....not even father....my shit-headed dad...he doesn't deserve to be my father...i didnt realise i was so frustrated that i caused my stomach to hurt...i can deal with it...i did for 6 years...i want to be close to her...i dont wanna move away from her at least for a second. i was already so attached to her...but why?...was i afraid krist or dave would hurt her?....no....krist has shelli...but dave....i dont know about him....will he kidnap her...take her away from me?...rape her than eat her kids 9 months later? will he rape her and torture her like sylvia likens?....i didnt even realise i was so scared that i made my stomach hurt. but i can hopefully deal with it...i have for 6 years..."kurt...you ok?" Y/N spoke, snapping me out of my trance of worries. she placed her hand over mine "you look really pale" she said placing her other hand on my cheek. i leaned into her soft loving touch. it was like a mothers touch. "hm" i groaned "nope im fine" i said smiling a tad bit "dont lie to me kurt....is your stomach bothering you?" she asked. "im fine seriously" i said with a stronger tone. she sighed before standing up. "where are your meds" she asked me. i took a deep breath in and sighed. "my dresser..." i mumbled. she left the room to scavenge mine. "need a bucket?" krist asked, causing me to jump. "oh fuck i forgot you were there...i should be fine after i get my meds though" i said chuckling a bit. it felt like hell when i did though. "kurt..your out" Y/Ns voice spoke. she held my empty bottle in her hands. "ill get your bucket..." krist said leaving the room. dave walked in right after krist left. he held the coffee in his hands. the thought of it made me hurl. my mouth grew watery as i tried to keep the puke down as long as i can. krist came rushing back in with the bucket. he placed it down right in front of my face. i began to gag more before i finally puked up all the contents in my stomach. i burned so badly. i was leaned over a bucket puking and crying. very embarrassing. Y/N ran over and pulled my hair out of my face while everyone watched me puke up coffee and blood. it was normal to puke or cough up blood since of my irritation in my stomach. doctors say it IBS but its really a red spot that becomes inflamed whenever it wants. i stopped puking after a few minutes. i sat there on the couch completely drained. "i feel so bad for you" krist said. "shut the fuck up i dont want your pity" i said a bit angered. "well..wanna try to make it to your room?" dave asked "sure just give me a minute" i said panting a bit. i sat there for a few seconds holding my stomach. "ok...im ready" i said. dave and krist got on both sides of me and wrapped their arms under mine to lift me. i couldnt walk on my own since i could collapse at any moment from pain. we stumbled in my room and i threw myself on the bed, which i have been sick in many times. Y/N stood in the doorway watching with worry on her face. i wanted to tell her im ok...but i'd be lying to her.
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
♡ Weekly Tag Wednesday ♡
Thanks @jrooc for the tag ♡♡♡
Gonna tag @exyfexyfoxes @a-crack-kinda-girl
Name: Yeva
Age: More than Kurt Cobain ever was :(.
First Pet? Crazy cat named Sasha, super aggressive little shite.
First Celebrity Crush? Probably youngish Matt Damon or something?
First IRL Crush? Peter (or at least that's his name in English) We were like what, 4 and 5? Something like that.
First kiss? Same guy as above. Didn't waste time lol.
First Word? Dunno. I only know I didn't speak much till I could form actual sentences.
First Car? I don't drive. Medical reasons.
First time on a plane? Was awful, my ears got fucked up so much I spent like two weeks home, not going to school or anything.
First Foreign country you visited? UK.
First cellphone? Shite LG. I chose it because I was really into green, and they had green ones.
First apartment/house/dorm/whatever away from your parents? Rooming with my friend from middle school. She had an apartment and my family was/is a shitshow
First concert? Shitty local emo band, none of you heard of. My more affluent friend asked me to tag along. We were kids, so that was fun.
First career aspiration? A prosecutor (well, after I've learnt more about legal stuff I would totally be a criminal lawyer like Saul Goodman) or a writer
First sport you ever played? Ah shite, there were so many! Competitive swimming, probably. I remember loving to swim since I was very young.
And finally… tell me about the first time you wrote/drew/created/whatever something that made you think "wow": I used to make little figurines from plasticine when I was little.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
alright this is pt 2 to 'i spent my teens in rage, spiralin' in silence' AKA the long ass yellowjackets fic i'm writing AKA the sam fender fic
pt 1 is here, pt 3 is here, ao3 link here
and uh yeah. lets go pt 2
also, during any wilderness scene this takes place in-between s1e7 and s1e10, laura lee is alive, taivan came out slightly earlier (during/around the wolf attack)
it feels weird, she thinks, to be this focused on a girl when one of the greatest albums in nat's collection is playing-and for once, for once-no one on the team is complaining.
but natalie's sitting in one of taissa's chairs, nirvana's 'bleach' halfway over from her record player-and nat can barley focus on the lyrics.
they don't need to, they know it by heart, but there's something about the way lottie's lips move to the lyrics of 'paper cuts' that make nat's stomach feel fuzzy.
van flops down next to-practically on top of her, and after one glance at their pink cheeks, nat twists around to see taissa walking out of the hallway that leads to the bathroom. she smirks at van, raising an eyebrow, how'd that go? and gets a smile and a thumbs up in response, pretty damn good.
'and they cock and-' "WOAH."
natalie's jolted out of her wordless conversation with van, as well as their increasingly more concerning lottie thoughts (now that's she's taken the time to unpack with van and realized what they actually mean) by laura lee's shocked yell, quickly scrambling to stop the record.
"laura lee, the fuck?"
"that's not-i don't get-why would that be in a song?" her face is getting redder by the second, and nat feels a small twinge of remorse, "kurt cobain-"
"it's actually an abuse metaphor," lottie interjects, and natalie's jaw almost hits the floor. the taller girl’s words are soft, her hand resting on laura lee’s knee to calm them, and nat feels a pang of jealousy. “the lyrics before 'the lady whom i feel maternal love for / cannot look me in the eyes / but i see hers and they are blue' is about how the mom who's abusing her kid can't look him in the face, but the kid can-"
"and the kid sees her true self." natalie interjects, and lottie gives her a soft smile that sends a jolt down their throat, her brown eyes flickering in the light of the lighter van is playing with-who snorts and lets nat continue. "and that true self is a monster."
she twists their hands in her lap, laura lee's eyes flicking around while she processes it, maybe they shouldn't have jumped in to explain those lyrics. van notices, and a hand closes around natalie's as tai turns to lottie, "how do you know that?"
the other girl shrugs, "i knew nat liked them, i figured it'd be a fun thing to check out and research."
the fuzzy feeling returns, racing to nat's heart as she spots a little blush on lottie's cheeks.
"i...thanks, lot."
van audibly groans, "alright, um...nat can you grab me some water, dude?”
"why the fu-oh. yeah, anyone else want some?"
laura lee holds out her cup, “me please.” while lottie raises a hand, "i'll go with you?"
natalie nods as van shoves her out of the chair, flashing a thankful look at the redhead, whos already moved on to show laura lee how to make a paper airplane out of taissa's homework.
the two end up in tai's kitchen, and when nat remembers that van loves chewing on ice in their water, lottie offers to hold open the freezer door while nat grabs some.
they do so, thankful for the burst of cold air that can be used to excuse the pink tinge on her cheeks.
it's only when natalie straightens, turning around and placing the glass on the counter next to them-she realizes that with lottie's arm stretched to prop open the door, when they turn, natlie is not only standing semi-inside the freezer-she's also chest-to-chest with lottie, who clearly wasn't expecting being this close either, and who is looking down at nat with those goddamn brown eyes.
"i-sorry, i can move-" lottie reaches to pull her arm back, and without thinking, natalie's hand lands on top of her wrist, holding it in place on the door, they can feel lottie's pulse racing-mimicking the quick thudding in nat's chest.
"....don't."
they've somehow ended up even closer now, and it's a single look; lottie's already been looking slightly down at nat-but now, her eyes drop impossibly lower for a split second-right to her lips, and directly back up to their face.
it's the 'go ahead' that she needs.
nat's hand leaves her wrist, moving to grab and pull lottie by the collar of her blue flannel while lottie's hand simultaneously cups the back of natalie's head, pulling her up ever so slightly.
it feels so different from all other kisses they've had, from all the boys when they were drunk or high or both, the boys who she'd kiss so she could ignore who she really wanted to kiss, all the times when they've been fully in control.
lottie doesn't feel like she's kissing natalie to do anything else. not to go any further or to get something out of it. it feels like she's kissing nat simply to feel their lips pressed against hers. it's a breath of fresh air-a joyous laugh in the face of everyone who made nat think you had to go further.
lottie isn't kissing natalie to go further. natalie's never wanted to go further. lottie is kissing natalie's just to kiss her.
and natalie's heart is cheering.
there's no control, everything is sliding in their brain, landing perfectly in it's place-it feels so, so right.
lottie tastes like strawberries and chocolate and for some reason natalie loves it. she wants to bottle it up and drink it when they're having a shit day, or just hold in this moment and never let go.
she feels like she's on the step to the edge of the diving board, right before you jump in, the first breathe of summer air when the school bell rings, the way biting into buttered challah feels.
there's a glowing heat spreading to their chest, their lips, their fingertips as lottie's other hand rests on her hip, she's leaning forward and natalie steps back, intending to let her back hit whatever wall was behind them-forgetting it's an open fridge-and nearly headbutts the pickle jar.
they break apart, and for one terrifying moment, natalie thinks lottie's going to run, back upstairs, back, back and away from her.
but insted, lottie smiles, tracing her hand down nat's arm and intertwining their fingers together.
---------
natalie really thought that after seeing coach's crushed leg, maggots inside a deer, her girlfriends possession and her dad's half missing head every night in their dreams for the past few weeks-nothing gory related could shake her much any more.
clearly, based on how the moment tai's legs gave out and van crumbled in front of them, natalie caught one look at the soaked blood through the clothes on van's face, down their side, down taissa's side and froze-they were very wrong.
she could hear everyone else screaming around her, maibly coach ben’s voice-trying to give off some futile attempt to show authority-but everything tunneled down to van's hand, gripping nat's leg like a lifeline, and the repeated tapping becoming more and more urgent until-
'hug?' morse code.
"yes. yeah, god fuck. van-" natalie wraps her arms around van from the non-injured side, tai still holding tightly onto van's hand.
a vivid memory of both van and nat flinching away from needles during the flu shots given, van bursting into tears only seconds after natalie, comes surging back as nat watches akilah angles the needle to van's cheek, taissa’s fear stricken face, gently rubbing van’s forehead, nat feels van's legs shaking.
nat can barley even watch without feeling her whole body go into panic mode, instead forcing themself to look at laura lee's soft hands holding down van's arm, a carefully crafted mask over the blonde girl's face, whispering silent prayers. she nods at nat, then at akilah. coach ben is at van's head, terror clear as day in his eyes, “carful. please.”
nat holds down van's legs while holding back tears. why van? why happy, funny, kind van? why her best friend? the sudden stillness of van's movements letting nat know that they've passed out does nothing to ease her anxiety, in fact it might make it worse.
she refuses to leave, mirroring tai as the two sit and silently watch over van's sleeping figure. it's only when shauna and lottie come in, shauna sitting next to tai and slowly coaxing her out of the room (not without many protests on tai's part, and one minor attempt from ben-that does not work) and to sleep for the first time in what nat thinks is around 36 hours.
"if you're going to tell me to sleep-"
"never."
lottie's voice is calm and caring, as she takes tai's former seat, gently taking natalie's hand, breaking the grip that the blond had been holding her other wrist in, leaving small, crescent shaped marks.
lottie ran her fingers over nat's hand, tracing the lines and keeping it in place when nat subconsciously jerks back to indenting their own skin.
nat dosen't realize she's begun to cry until lottie's hand cups their head as they fall into her, shaking silently.
something about lottie and holding her head always made nat feel safe. maybe it was the way lottie's hands were always soft, despite the manual labor they'd been in for the past weeks, or maybe it was because she always held nat close and tight. maybe it was that natalie could just exist around lottie, she didn't have to say anything or do anything, just existing was good enough.
the brunette said nothing, just held natalie as close as possible, that same soft, caring way she always did, gently running her hand through their hair.
"they'll be alright."
"what if they're not, lot? what if they'll never be alright? what if-"
"nat." lottie interrupts before natalie can send herself into a spiral, "breathe, baby. ok? can you do that for me?" nat shakes her head, worse case scenarios popping up each time they try to inhale, fists clenched tightly in their lap.
they feel their body move, vaguely aware of her back pressed to lottie's front, lottie's hands worming their way into nat's fists.
lottie's good at this, diffusing natalie's anxiety-not as good as van, she thinks as a fresh wave of anxiety hits.
they don't know how long they sit there, but natalie can feel their breathing go back to normal, can feel lottie press a soft kiss to her temple, "feeling better?" "mhm."
van whimpers, lottie and nat instantly on their feet as van's face twitches.
lottie squeezes nat's hand, another soft smile that has natalie feeling warmer even after lottie's hand leaves, quickly leaving the room to go retrieve taissa.
"nat?"
van gets an answer, non-verbal, but physical, with natalie throwing herself onto van (avoiding all of the wounds) and squeezes them so tight she can feel her own arms straining, "if you ever" nat manages to breathe out, "scare me like that again and i swear on laura lee's bible i will fucking kill you."
van's chest shakes slightly, they wince, slowly forming words, "good to know you love me."
"so fucking much."
---------
only jackie taylor would find a way to have a team bonding moment while trapped in the middle of nowhere.
travis, javi and coach are off having a ‘boys night’ or whatever the fuck that means (lottie thinks they just wanted some alone time) so all the team members are outside around the shitty fire they managed to make with a lot of swearing, minor shoving, and nat’s lighter.
in all honesty, lottie didn’t even want to be here. it’s been getting harder and harder to block out the thoughts that aren’t in her own voice, or to not flinch when she looks at one of her friends and spots a bug on their face. it always starts small.
she’s been falling back in on herself, regressing to behaviors she hasn’t shown since middle school. laura lee notices, laura lee was there when she freaked out in seventh grade, laura lee was there when she got diagnosed, laura lee’s always been there, she always knows.
nat notices, but natalie dosent know, lottie doesn’t want them to know. she’s heard natalie waking up every night, breathe tight and fast, whispers of dead men who haunt them when they’re asleep and even more when they’re awake. natalie dosent need to know. she won’t, if lottie can do anything about it.
lottie smiles to herself at the sight of natalie's face, pushing back her mind and focusing on the shorter girl.
mouth slightly open, pulled into a slight smirk at the left side, brow furrowed with one eyebrow raised, freckles across her nose shining out bright as day in the firelight, she's scoffing at jackie, van snorting next to her, a tight lipped smile doing little to hide the humor on their face while tai watches, a lovesick expression clear as day on her face.
jackie's expression doesn't shift, and laura lee flashes lottie a look from across the circle, "what about never have i ever?"
natalie looks down, mindlessly drawing in the dirt with her fingers, shrugs, "what the hell else are we gonna do?"
"i can recite-"
"van, dude, babe, sweetheart, love of my love-i love you, i truly do, but if you recite the plot of 'dead poets society' again i do not think laura lee will recover from her tears."
"it's really sad, ok?!"
lottie grins again, "ok, next time how about 'heathers'?” van flashes her a grin and a thumbs up as they slump against taissa, the latter kissing them on the forehead as they do, “but for now, we don't need to drink, just hold up five fin-ok we all know how to play."
nat knocks her elbow into lottie, only to drum on her sleeves with her fingers while rolling their eyes at the taller-but it's accompanied with the same smile that lottie only ever sees aimed at her.
mari goes first, 'never have i ever thrown up in school', lottie's finger goes down-a side effect of the first meds her parents tried, so does van's-that one time their mom made them go to school with the flu, and right after seeing van vomit at practice-yep, there goes shauna.
gen next, 'never have i ever gone surfing' where, to lottie's surprise, taissa and melissa are the only ones to put a finger down.
it goes like that for a bit, natalie and lottie both go out for being high at school, jackie for accidentally hitting someone's mailbox more than once in the same car (lottie had to question laura lee's specificities), lottie goes out again with taissa, jackie and shauna for traveling out of the country before, and then it's misty's turn.
"uh..never have i ever had my first kiss?"
van snickers, but around the circle-jackie, shauna, nat, tai, van, lottie, akilah, and laura lee's fingers all go down.
taissa's eyebrows shoot up and lottie can almost predict what she's going to say before she does, "wait-laura lee, who did you kiss?"
the blonde grins shyly, "that wasn't the question."
jackie holds up her hand to laura lee, "nicely done, laura lee."
nat leans forward "ill give you a really cool lookin' pine cone if you tell me." but shauna interrupts before laura lee can respond, “we could go in a circle and say who our first kiss was?"
no one opposes, so she glances at jackie before at the rest of the group, lottie can see most people look calm, jackie looks slightly more on edge, but she's hiding it well.
"so..who's first?"
out of the corner of her eye, lottie sees van and nat glance at each other, then burst out laughing, through gasps of air, they each choke out the others name.
"what?!" taissa's starring at van in shock, and lottie can only imagine that her face holds the same expression as she looks at natalie.
van holds up their hands, giggling at jackie's startled expression and misty's wide eyes, "look. look-we were like 14, and-"
"it was so fuckin’ bad."
"nat!"
"i'm not sorry! it was, it was like kissing your sibling! hated it."
van pauses for a moment, composing themself,"yeah i hated it as well."
lottie sighs, scooting closer to nat, "jealous?" the blonde whispers at her, slight anxiety coating her words, lottie shakes her head, "i think it's funny." nat nods slowly, smiling up at her "ok, thanks."
van giggles, "hey, i mean-remember that spin-the-bottle a while ago when tai and nat kissed?"
taissa scoots away, van almost falling over, "dude!" "i thought we agreed never to mention that."
the four of them laugh again, and misty raises her hand, "wait-ok. who did laura lee kiss, and...how many people here have kissed natalie?"
laura lee catches lottie's eye from across the circle, tilting her head to the side, a silent 'is it ok?'. lottie nods.
"i kissed lottie."
"i beg your fucking pardon?" nat is staring at lottie with the same face she was just staring at them with.
"LOTTIE?!" jackie's mouth is hanging open so wide that shauna lifts up her hand to put jackie's chin back.
"hey! welcome to the gays, man." van is grinning madly when they say it, a double thumbs up in laura lee's direction.
shauna turns to face lottie, who can feel herself going red from how hard she's trying to hold back her laugher, "i was trying to figure out if i liked girls.....what are friends for?"
laura lee giggles, "it was a fun experience, it's not like it was anything bad."
mari shrugs, "i feel a little slighted by the fact that you've kissed someone before me, but going back to the other one-nat. how many team members have you kissed?"
lottie turns to natalie, who glances up at her with a sly grin, "van and tai we've already covered, lottie, shauna-that time at a temple trip on a dare, and ja-"
"it didn't count."
shauna's head snaps to jackie so fast that for a split second lottie thinks she whiplashed herself. "you've kissed natalie?!"
"it didn't count!" jackie repeats, "my first kiss was jeff. besides it wasn't even a real kiss, i'm not a lesbo, anyway."
instinctivly, lottie's hand gripped nat's, who's had already curled into a fist, laura lee and tai had both flinched slightly, while van was glaring daggers at jackie, “what the fuck, man?” -shauna looked hurt.
lottie watched natalie's gaze harden, "yeah, didn't seem to count-what with you pushing me into the locker and-"
jackie lunged forward, clapping a hand over natalie's mouth, knocking them flat on their back while jealously lottie didn't know she possessed spread out through her stomach.
"shut the fuck up." jackie nearly growled, she removed her hand from natalie's mouth, only for the blonde to flash a wicked smirk, "make me."
there was more venom packing the words than any other time lottie had heard nat speak them, and yet while jackie's face flushed red, lottie felt the urge to shove jackie off nat and kiss the latter seneless.
she caught nat's eye, the blonde flashing her a familiar look, 'i can stop if you want.' but as much as she was tempted to nod, some part of lottie enjoyed what she was watching. she shook her head, and natalie grinned.
"what's your problem anyway, taylor? i never said you were gay."
"i'm not!"
van's laugh was stifled by tai's elbow-but she was also giggling.
nat's grin only grew, "then how'd you like to stop straddling me, 'cause this looks pretty fuckin' gay to me."
"i wouldn't know if it was gay or not. i'm not gay." but she still flew off natalie like they were suddenly on fire.
now lottie was trying to refrain from giggling, even shauna-who had looked a little like a kicked puppy up to this point-had shaking shoulders and a hand over her mouth. laura lee looked as if she was about to cover her eyes, but also didn’t seem to want to stop watching.
jackie, on the other hand, was bright red and a mix of angry and embarrassed, "seriously just fuck off, scatorccio-i'm not a fucking dyke, i don't like any of that shit."
van flew to their knees before lottie even had a chance to react, "jackie taylor i swear to fucking god-" but the combined hands of taissa and natalie-both of whom looked like they were about to slap jackie to hell and back, pulled van back down.
looking back on it, it was not the smartest choice, or even the best-and god knows lottie could have come up with a better line-but she thought it was clever in the moment, and so with a glance at natalie, then to jackie, "well, maybe your not watching the right shit, here-let me help with that.”
and with that, she pulled natalie back up to their feet and kissed them as hard as they could.
she could feel natalie's hands digging into her t-shirt, always moving, the warmth radiating off of them, and when nat leaned back into a tree, pulling lottie with her, lottie couldn't help but smile into the kiss, nat grinning right back at her.
they broke apart at van's wolf whistle, that was quickly shut off by laura lee's stage whisper of 'van! let them have their moment!'
later that night, curled up under blankets, listening to mari and gen's soft snoring, lottie pulled natalie closer to her.
the blonde was already half asleep, so lottie faced no sarcastic, half-assed protests that would only really lead to nat cuddling closer like she did every night. she only felt the rhythmic rise and fall of nat's chest and their hands wound tightly in lottie's shirt.
"hey nat?"
"hm?"
"i love you."
nat's eyes shot open, bright blue in the moonlight, staring directly into lottie's.
"......"
"you don't have to say it back-"
"do you really mean that?"
it was only her tone that made lottie hesitate. for the first time that night-even after jackie's comments, they understood but it was still out of line, even after it all-this was the first time natalie's voice was anything aside from sure of themself.
to lottie, they sounded scared, terrified that she didn't mean it and that it would all go up in flames.
lottie didn't want to hear that tone from natalie ever again, not if she could help it.
"yeah. yes. of course i do."
relief washed over the blonde, and lottie felt herself smile, grinning like she was in a cheesy romcom.
"i love you, lottie."
#gay in space writes#lottie matthews#nat scatorccio#natalie scatorccio#van palmer#vanessa palmer#taissa turner#jackie taylor#shauna shipman#misty quigley#laura lee#travis martinez#javi martinez#ben scott#akilah yellowjackets#mari yellowjackets#taivan#vantai#lottienat#jackieshauna#taissa x van#van x taissa#lottie x natalie#natalie x lottie#jackie x shauna#shauna x jackie#aven writes
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is absolutely apropos of the "was kurt cobain trans" discourse that always happens Every Fucking February 20th And April 5th. it's a lot of messy, angry, teary-eyed hollering about Kurt and me and how i discovered myself and why i decided to live, but also why people fucking hate thinking of being trans as a positive thing and why i hate that.
cw for suicidal ideation, some drug usage, and transphobia.
so it's 2010. i'm 15 and in a suburban high school. i'm stuck in the liminal space of understanding that i was a trans woman, but also understanding that all i had was a feeling of being disconnected from my body. i had this inexplicable jealousy and yearning to be like all the moody grunge-lite girls that dissected roadkill and stank of menthols and weed. i had moved on from considering myself just a sad, apathetic cis boy with a sensitive side and projecting onto Dead from Mayhem. the hypermachismo of heavy metal was a place i was never welcome, but the anger and angst of being forcibly masculinized was still with me. cue Kurt Cobain.
Kurt Cobain was the new fixation the moment I heard Bleach (via Mayhem's Deathcrush EP and Melvins' Ozma). i tore my pants at the knees, i fell in love even harder with my guitar, and i always got shoved into the urinals by all the scene boys for being an "off-trend homo" with pink nail polish i borrowed from the girls at lunch. the irony of being too girly for guys who wore makeup wasn't lost on me.
so I found myself scouring his journals, seeing how much he talked about being effeminate, growing breasts, hating machismo, being an ardent feminist, revering women, wearing dresses in his private life, and I said to myself, "fuck, this sounds so much like me. Maybe I can get away with being a self-loathing closeted trans woman if this is what it looks like. Maybe he was like me, too."
which, i shouldn't have to stop and do the Spongebob Flying Ice Cream Truck bit and say i'm not imposing my identity onto Kurt fucking Cobain. frankly, i think that's both a loaded accusation and a nonsensical one. in a world where being trans is a non-issue, this would be a non-issue, but alas, this is the "trans women get banned for selfies" site.
it's almost always treated like it's a sin to wonder if a historical figure might've called themself trans, given the chance to, by analyzing their own words and thoughts about themselves, the way they presented themselves in their daily life and art, everything. interestingly, speculating if someone might have been gay/lesbian in the same way is treated with no moral weight, as if we all live in a world where everyone is openly, happily pansexual and that has no bearing on any other part of your identity.
it especially sucks to see from other trans people. i get that patriarchy constantly imposes its will onto our bodies, our minds, our relationships with ourselves and each other and all of culture, i really do. god knows that's stunted all of us in a lot of ways. but that said, do you really think that's the same thing as looking at someone having internal conflicts so much like yours and saying "huh, i wonder if they could have been like me?" how is that "imposing your identity" onto someone? do you think you're going to plague this person with Curse Of Being Dysphoric decades after they died? get real.
"but Heather, what about trans musicians who are alive right now? what about back then?" yeah, i'm a trans musician; what about us? did you go and mosh with the guitarist/singer for Pollyanna (NJ) when you were so stoned you were vomiting out your three-decade depression spell? did you listen to Throbbing Gristle and daydream about being part of your own Pandrogyne project with the only other trans kid in your high school? do you actually care about trans musicians, or are you gonna post a listicle on Medium that reccs everyone Against Me and Cavetown for the umpteenth fucking time? spare me! there's an hour left for Bandcamp Friday, actually - go throw your spare change at some of us if you're that concerned!
i'unno. i'm mad because frankly, i think we as trans people really love to hate ourselves on behalf of patriarchy and wrap it in a veneer of... whatever fucking sociological buzzword is hot right now. anything to convince ourselves that seeing ourselves in people we admire is bad, helping people learn more about themselves as trans people is bad, letting trans people make their own judgements is bad, being trans is bad, bad, bad. eventually you internalize that being alive means being trans, and if being trans is bad, being alive must be bad. if i hated being alive that much, maybe I was like Kurt. too much. i knew the combination to my dad's safe. i knew how to use a shotgun. i knew how to disappear into Northern Michigan.
but i knew how to stop hating myself, too. i'm a math major, kinda. i calculated the number of days it would take me to outlive Kurt. the date figured out to be April 6th, 2022. i said to myself "girl, if you can fucking make it that much further, you have to stop coasting on high-dose edibles every fucking night. you have to go on HRT. you have to love yourself. you have to live."
it's been thirty years since he died, and two years since i decided to take estrogen. i'm finally starting to see myself as a person with her own complicated life, her own shortcomings, her own successes, and her own reason for being alive: i just... have to, y'know? why shouldn't i be? i can't be happy if i'm dead.
i like to think Kurt was the same way: just another flawed human being with his own complications and crowning achievements, as different as they are from mine. i don't really see myself in him anymore. i see myself within me, and that's the best place for me to be.
#heather hollers#long post#i'm baring my fucking heart to the wORLD here deal with me LOL#april 5th#you're not obligated to agree w/r/t speculation but also i am NOT in a mood to debate anyone.
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
okay sleepover saturday:
top 3 yellowjackets girlies (3 young vs 3 old) (if you could give a lil explanation as to why i’d love that bc you have the hottest takes)
my young / old are literally the same honestly disksksksksk
natalie - i just love her so fuckding much i relate sm to her and i love her arc and the way she goes thru life thinking she is so toxic and that she hurts people and that shes like this terrible monster when shes just like a really caring loving person who cares sm whos been put in all of these shitty situations way before the plane even crashed like we've seen and how so much of her arc is explained in that one scene with her dad and how she's just going through life literally just trying to make it through the day like UGH she is so real to me i love her so much thats my BABY my best friend i know her personally!!!! i love you natalie scatorccio i love that u bleached ur hair bc u love Kurt cobain and wanted to look like him i know this bc i know u so fucking personally actually
taissa - another bitch who is truly character of all time like shes a lesbian she has sleeping problems shes kind of an asshole shes caring shes going through so much all the time she killed her sons dog she eats dirt she won an election got into an accident walked out on her wife who's in a coma she has a dog she got to replace the dog she killed but nobody is feeding that dog bc she walked out on her life to hitch a ride w a voter on a 18 wheeler to get to her ex shes in a cult now she might either kill herself or hunt a friend she is truly just. ICONIC. SHE ATE A CLASSMATE AND SHE WAS ASLEEP..SHE ATE HER FACE. taissa turner is unmatched like. every single thing you learn about her youre like..this person is the senator of new jersey
lottie - SHE IS SO. CHEWS THROUGH A DOOR SHE IS EVERYTHING SHE IS GOD SHE IS JESUS SHE IS A PROPHET SHE HALLUCINATES HER THERAPIST SHE IS A LESBIAN SHE IS LEADING A CULT SHE LOVES BEES SHE KIDNAPPED NATALIE TO SAVE HER SHE LOVES HELIOTROPE, ACTUALLY, ITS NOT PURPLE, SHE MAKES PEOPLE DRINK HER BLOOD SHE LET SHAUNA BEAT HER WITJIN AN INCH OF HER LIFE BC SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP HER she is just. like. lottie matthews. She Is Lottie Matthews. like. are you fuckding kidding.
sleepover saturday!!
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
REPOST & LIST 6 SONGS THAT INSPIRE YOU TO WRITE YOUR MUSE .
( i know this is a multi but i'm picking rue and alice since they're the ones i write the most for this meme, just becauuuuse jfc who wants to see me post that for 8 fucking muses, nobody, that's who )
RUE BENNETT
born sinner ft james fauntleroy - j cole
i'm a born sinner / but i'll die better than that, i swear / you were always where i needed you to be / whether you were there or not there ( i was there ) / i was born sinning / but i live better than that ( better than that ) / if you ain't fucking with that, i don't care / ( ooh, ooh, ooh ) yeah, yeah, yeah
shampoo - ilya
i left my necklace on your counter / trapped my soul inside your heart / painted lipstick on your mirrors / took what you left me with and turned it into art / and i know that you’re not stupid / your hungry heart was overfed / say you made your bed you gotta lie in it / but then you lied to me instead
i will carry you - safari riot x old man saxon
give me your pain / give me your sorrow / tell me what hurts / if not today then tomorrow / whats the protection from life and death / things already seen, fear or regret / all we ever do is choose, pain is inevitable / pick your poison, feel your cup / but i will carry you / is that enough?
naturally - tinashe
i been wondering why we do, i'm at the highest of highs / can i have you back, maybe just for tonight? / baby, i can see the ecstasy when you with me, i know / ain't no time for jealousy, but i see she don't get you like i do
fade away - lucky daye
i just want this feeling to last / i bet i'll beg for you to face it / feels, they change like the weather / close my eyes, find forever / gotta be nice on the / other side, 'nother side / is it cruel of me / to pretend i can't see / when i pass you by? oh / is it wrong of me / to feel the same pain / but not know why? / not know why
3:16 am - jhené aiko
i do not feel the fear of fallin, i wanna fly / if it all goes well then i will / but what if i don’t? / i'll be right where i was before / but i’m not alone, you say take my hand / and we go ( and we go ), and we go ( and we go ) / and i hope that we don’t overdose / cause we don’t ( cause we don’t ) / no we don’t ( no we don't ) / ever know when we have had enough / wait…
ALICE LIDDELL
pink + white - frank ocean
that's the way everyday goes / every time we've no control / if the sky is pink and white / if the ground is black and yellow / it's the same way you showed me / nod my head, don't close my eyes / halfway on a slow move / it's the same way you showed me / if you could fly then you'd feel south / up north's getting cold soon
dangerous ft kid cudi - schoolboy q
i'm feeling dangerous, i'm feeling nauseous / road left me crazy, soaring, i wanna / smoking and faded, i got enormous / drinkin' and swangin', i'm feelin' dangerous / greet me by my hand 'til you teach me to float / head is in the clouds with my stomach below / somethin' 'bout this feeling, i felt it before / took this pill and it swallowed me whole / pinch me on my arm, is it heaven or fun? / if i don't come back, had a hell of a run
cherries ft aminé - hope tala
the cherries in your mouth spill stars / scarlet venom to keep in jam jars / we all build worlds with joined up scars / but your constellation has stained my guitar / and the french in your mouth breaks ribs / makes heads go light and hands lose their grip / pulling teeth behind a bottom lip / to look for cherry stones and rotting apple pips
true crime ft miso - epik high
the world has given you names that deny you / "obsession," "addiction" and "taboo" / you're a controversial work, the spark that incites my heart / don't care what they say / you make my dead heart beat again / when i'm surrounded by enemies / you make me clench a pen instead of a fist / love is where you find it, whatever that placе is
top again ft saba - audrey nuna
'cause it's raining / your favorite / grass is green / i might just kurt cobain it / just face it / shameless / complacent / new precipitation but you waste it / just waiting / i was dancing all this time / dancing on this mic / don't call the night / loud like mordechai / dancing all this time / dance 'til the pretty die / don't come inside / 'til I'm on top again
jotto - bibi
seeing you digging into my skirt / my hatred towards humans is on the rise / the anxiety and longing you gave me as well as pills and wine / i laugh and swallow them down / what sad thing happened / what wonderful love did you have such that / with your body and mind that have become a rag / how could you come knock on my door
tagged by: @imsobrooklyn
tagging: @444fm / @sunxsin / @chmerical / @sylkshe / @prettydead / @ripjulie / @dangaer / @awalkoflife / @rach8 / @perniicious / @killjoysanonymous / @temporalobjects / @freak1ish / @godstrayed / whoever omg pls it's a fun meme
#❝ r. bennett ❞ ┆ headcanons ┆ it kind of collapses time !#❝ memes ❞ ┆ turned what you left me with and turned it into art !#❝ a. liddell ❞ ┆ headcanons ┆ who in the world am i ? that's the great puzzle !
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
have you seen the movie "Nerve"? could you write something where Tate and Y/N are the main characters in the movie? i help with ideas with whatever you want just please write this for me because i need to read something like this without me writing it, peace ✌🏼
Nerve Part 1 (Tate Langdon)
Summary: Y/N is a broke college kid who can’t afford tuition. He’s a struggling musician, who’s found a site called Nerve, where he can gain money and fame from doing stupid dares. But what happens when he kisses the wrong girl on a dare? The night is young, and they are shackled together for 12 hours. What could happen? (part 1)
Warning: Language, mentions of being naked?? idk the main warning for this is language because I didn’t censor at all.
Note: this is actually a really cute idea i’m so glad you suggested this. i forgot how much i liked this movie lol. anyway, for obvious reasons, tate is alive, and not a criminal, just an edgy teenager (but canonically 19 cuz idk i didn’t wanna write this knowing it’s gonna be a 17 year old kid so he’s now a legal adult) Also, I didn’t stick completely to the movie events because then it’d be boring
At Jerry’s Pizza, Y/N sat, after a long, taxing day of school and homework. She was a college student at UCLA, but all her hard work that had gotten her through her first year of college seemed for nothing. She soon wouldn’t be able to afford her tuition anymore.
“God, what am I going to do?” She sat at the bar, an hour or two after the restaurant had closed. Normally, being 19 and all, she wouldn’t be allowed to sit at the bar like this, but seeing as she was best friends with the owner and it was after hours, the rules were bent for her. She rests her head face down on the counter.
“Look kid, it can’t be that bad, you can pick up a few extra shifts around here if you really need the money,” Jerry, the owner reasoned with her. Jerry was well into his 50s, but could often times be described as ‘young at heart’, and this was evident given the hipster style of his restaurant he owned, the bands he allows to play at said bar, his sleeves of tattoos, and Y/N, a young woman with whom he became instant friends with when she walked in after her first day of university.
“That’s not gonna help, I need $10,000, in like, two seconds in order to keep going. Fuck, what am I going to do?” She cursed.
It was at this moment that the rowdy group of men behind her, standing with their instruments on the stage were getting increasingly louder, annoying the shit out of her.
“UGH! Can you assholes shut up?” She bursted at the four men, horse playing now that their set had finished several hours earlier.
A few of the men gave Jerry an offended look, as if he should reign her in in some way. “Hey guys, it’s getting late, your set ended a while ago, you should probably pack up,” he decided to take the easy way out of confrontation with the band.
“Yeah, yeah, I just need to get something done really quick,” a blond man, the guitarist, Y/N had recognized, spoke up and came forward. He wore a striped dark green sweater and distressed jeans, very Kurt Cobain-esque, and his dirty blond hair added to the look, the shagginess of it showing he wasn’t exactly high-strung.
Suddenly, he ran up to Y/N, gripped her face so tight she was certain it’d leave a bruise, and smashed his lips into her own. She expected to taste liquor, some type of brain altering substance to smell on him, but he only smelled of cologne and sweat.
His band mates counted down 5 seconds in the background, then he ran out with the group the moment the count was over.
“Hey! Stay out you fuckwads!” Jerry called after them, knowing better than to chase after them, given he’s not as young and fit as he used to be.
“NERVE RULES!” another one of the men screamed as they made their way out of the restaurant.
Meanwhile, Y/N, still disgruntled and shocked from the previous event, looked at Jerry in confusion.
“What just happened? What’s Nerve?” She asked, disregarding the fact she had just been kissed and could probably be at risk for mono or something stupid.
“Oh, it’s just some dumb site the kids nowadays are using. Basically, you complete dares for money, or you pay to watch people and dare them to do stupid shit, I mean, real dangerous shit, I heard a couple years back, some kid fell off a construction crane in a dare,” Jerry rubbed his hand down his face, then returned to tidying up the bar.
“They do it… for money?” Y/N asked with curiosity and Jerry nodded, not understanding what she meant by that.
“Yeah, I heard if you get to the finals without giving up on it, you can make some big bank. It’s some real stupid, dangerous shit, though. I see kids coming in here everyday on some dumb dare, scaring off my customers, making fools of themselves.”
This sent Y/N into a bout of quiet contemplation. Looking at their past, there was little Y/N wouldn’t do for money. Feet pics, car washes, hell, she even considered trying out prostitution until she got a job at the pizza place.
What’s a few little dares?
“Hey, I gotta- I’m gonna head out, see you tomorrow!” Y/N packed up their bag and all but sprinted out of the restaurant to catch up with the boys, who couldn’t have been far from the building.
With some luck, she found the blond one alone, outside, standing on a ledge of a bridge. “So what, are you gonna like, kill yourself or something?” She jokingly asked him.
He turned his head back and met her beautiful eyes with his own chocolate brown ones. “I gotta jump off this bridge and do a flip,” he stated simply, like she was a part of whatever he was in on. She wanted to be, but she wasn’t.
“Why?” She questioned, although she was beginning to piece a few things together. If she was being honest with herself, that band kind of sucked during their set, with their cheap guitars and mics that kept cutting in and out during the performance. Not to mention their messy hair and tattered clothes.
Sure, grunge was making a comeback, but who was she kidding? Those boys were as broke as she was. She noticed his phone next to him on the cold gray stone of the bridge, propped up against an empty beer bottle, about to record his act. “Do you need someone to film?” She asked.
“Yeah, could you?” He smiled kindly at her, and she didn’t want to admit it at that moment, but he was actually really cute. Sure he kissed her without asking, but if he asked again, she’d probably be okay with it the next time.
She filmed the entire dare on his crummy little iPhone 6 camera, and when he came out, soaking wet, he walked over to her to see what the watchers were commenting. The way he stood so close behind her, his rugged breath harsh against her neck with adrenaline, she felt nervous to say her next words.
“This whole Nerve thing, how’s it work?” Her words made him change his focus from the screen in her hand to her face, and he erupted in a smug smile.
“Why, you wanna join or something?”
“Well, I don’t want to, but you just made $300 doing that, and I need to afford my college tuition. So, you think you can help me?” She hopefully asked, hoping this site could keep them together a few hours longer.
Within the next span of 10 minutes, the boy helped her join Nerve as a player, then he soon went on his way to find his friends again.
She sighed at the loss of a cute boy, before a new dare popped up on her screen.
‘Find the boy and kiss him for 1 minute’
Weird, almost identical to what she imaged his dare looked like back in the restaurant. Oh well, a dare’s a dare, and she was being offered $100 for it.
She bolted forward to catch up with him, who was now with his pals again. Similar to previous events, she turned his face to look down at her and smashed her lips into his for the second time that night. He seemed surprised, but not offended, since he didn’t reject her, and kissed back, despite not knowing she was being dared.
His friends hollered and cheered as she they all filmed the kiss like the watchers they were. Y/N’s world spun around rapidly for only a moment before the minute was up and she pulled away. She checked her phone, and like clockwork, $100 was transferred into her bank account.
“Fuck yeah!” She hollered to the group.
Now seeming to understand her motive, his genuine smile dropped for a split second, before recovering. “Wow, how much was that for?” He asked.
“$100 man, this shit’s gonna be easy,” she laughed to herself.
Suddenly, the group was approached by a tall blonde man in a leather jacket, who handed them a plastic shopping bag, gave them a quick ‘here you go,’ then ran away as fast as he approached.
“What’s in there?” Y/N asked as the boy tore open the bag and reached inside. With curiosity, he pulled out a pair of silver electronic handcuffs, with a digital screen on it, displaying the word ‘Nerve’ over and over again in blinking blue light.
At the same time, they both got a chime on their phones, which they opened in synch, to see the exact same dare.
‘Handcuff yourselves together for 12 hours,’ it read.
“Wait-” Y/N starts.
“Oh shit,” the boy quietly cursed. At this, his bandmates were screaming and hollering, their phones blowing up with over 700 watchers now. “Look, if you don’t want to-”
“It’s $600, I don’t know about you, but I can’t pass that up,” Y/N explained, then turned to look at one of the boy’s friends, extending her left wrist to him, as he now held the cuffs. “Cuff me.”
The blond boy gave her a surprised look, but nonetheless, extended his right wrist out to his friend as well. When the cold metal clicked around both of their wrists, a timer on the digital screen face of the cuffs started, counting down from 12 hours.
“Have fun man!” The drummer shouted to the blond boy as the rest of his friends left to go elsewhere, leaving Y/N and the blond boy alone together, something they were going to have to get used to.
“Well, this is-” He started before getting interrupted once again, this time by a chime on his phone.
‘Go skinny dipping in the community pool with her’
He just sighed in defeat, knowing he was in for it now, for a whole 12 hours alongside this girl he just met, and not to mention kissed twice. He looked at his right wrist tethered to her left. “You’re right handed, right?”
She nodded. “Good, I’m a lefty. You sure you wanna go through with this? If you want to quit now, I’d be okay. I’m not gonna make you do anything you don’t want to,” he spoke sincerely, looking deep into her eyes and making a connection with her.
“I’m in, I’m all in,” she spoke back, not breaking eye contact, studying every part of his handsome face.
“Good,” he grabbed her hand through the chains of the cuffs, giving it a squeeze. It was just them together against the world. For 12 hours at least.
“Oh, and by the way, what’s your name?” She asked, giggling with excitement from being close to a complete stranger.
“My name? It’s Langdon. You?”
“Y/N.”
“Well, Y/N, we have a pool to break into. Shall we?” He nodded his head towards the general direction of the pool. She nodded with a cute smile on her face, and then the two were off, hand in hand.
#tate landon fanfiction#tate langdon x reader#tate langdon#tate langdon fluff#evan peters fanfiction#evan peters x reader
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Monsters, Metallica and Keith Moon: meet Eddie Munson actor Joseph Quinn
By Rich Hobson( Metal Hammer ) published about 12 hours ago
Stranger Things' Eddie Munson actor Joseph Quinn talks heavy metal, guitar heroes and why Dave Grohl should write a Corroded Coffin EP
(Image credit: Netflix)
Actors can spend their entire careers waiting for a role like Eddie Munson. The resident metalhead of Stranger Things core setting of Hawkins, Indiana, Munson captured the hearts of viewers worldwide, becoming a hit internet sensation that turned actor Joseph Quinn from a relative unknown in the world of TV and film into a star-in-the-making. Hammer sat down with Quinn earlier this year to talk Eddie Munson, his guitar heroes and why Foo Fighters should write the music for his on-screen band, Corroded Coffin.
When you took the role of Eddie Munson, did you expect that it would take off like it has?
“Not at all. No, I think expectations get you in trouble in this game, and I couldn’t have predicted people’s warmth and acceptance for him. So it’s a really lovely feeling, it caught me completely off guard.”
What attracted you to the role in the first place?
“Well, the chances are so stacked against you - it’s very rare to be asked to participate in something that has this much kind of cultural significance so it was a no-brainer.”
How much of the character had been fleshed out when you were cast?
“I auditioned a couple of scenes that were actually in the show. We had no idea how many episodes he was going to be in; we were told at least four. But I didn’t know anything about what would happen at the end, or how much he would actually be involved in the season. So I’m delighted that I got as much to sink my teeth into.”
What were your influences for the character?
“I think we all have those people that were a little bit older than us growing up, that we admired or had a soft spot for. I was always very impressed with those people that were a little bit older than me that were very nonconformist, a little attention seeking.”
How reflective is Eddie of you?
“Not much. We all have moments where we feel vulnerable, maybe overcompensate. I joined my school two years late, so I guess there was maybe a little bit of overcompensation there. But I’ve been very lucky, I’ve always had friends and haven’t felt like too much of an outsider.
But with all of my characters, if you don’t humanise them, you don’t care about them, and if people aren’t vulnerable and themselves and authentic, you tend to not really want to be around them. I think we’re far more drawn to someone that’s offensively imperfect than someone that’s constantly trying to be perfect and impressive.”
We hear you “connected with the character through metal” – what were your entry points?
“I listened to Master Of Reality by Black Sabbath over and over. Master Of Puppets as well, Slayer… all that kind of stuff. That was my way into that whole world, really. Black Sabbath were my guys, and Led Zeppelin too, but I guess they’re less metal.”
Is it true you’re actually a guitarist too?
“Yeah, I’ve played since I was a kid, but it’s been woefully under practised in recent years.”
What was it that got you into guitar?
“Well, my dad played guitar and my granddad played for a time, so it’s something we’d do as a family. We are by no means virtuosos, but we all have a go.”
Who are your guitar heroes?
“Hendrix is an obvious one, I was always very enamoured with him. Nirvana were my first proper band obsession; I had all of Kurt Cobain’s posters on my wall. It’s kind of cliché, but it’s true.”
Did you get any input on the epic Master Of Puppets solo in the new season? Was it your choice?
“I don’t know where the fuck the showrunners got it from! Ha ha ha! But it was completely their choice. It was the perfect song for a crescendo to take us through this crazy sequence. I think it’s an inspired choice, really.”
Will we ever hear Eddie’s band, Corroded Coffin?
“We’re working on an EP… Joking! I’m joking!”
It’s not that ridiculous – Dave Grohl did it with Dream Widow this year…
“Maybe I should email him – ‘Would you write the music for Corroded Coffin please?’”
How would they sound?
“Oh, thrash! Proper, old-school thrash – really fast, really evil.”
If you could play any rock star in a biopic, who would you choose?
“Keith Moon would be pretty cool, you could have a lot of fun with him. I don’t understand how that hasn’t been done already. I’ve actually heard that there’s something in the works, but I don’t think I’m in consideration for it. Whoever gets to go at that… That’ll be a lot of fun.”
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
34 - The Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
THE album that got me through high school.
No joke, there was a week in my life, i want to say Junior year, where i listened to the song "1979" *at least* a hundred times. I most certainly hung down with the freaks and ghouls.
Also, this is a Double Album, so buckle in, because this is gonna be a *long* one.
(editing afterwards: yeah, it took me over a week to get through. Who'd have figured this one would have some pretty heavy shit associated with it that would put me in a really bad headspace for a while?)
Actually cutting this one, because I'm not THAT much of an asshole.
[Dawn to Dusk]
•Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness-
Such a simple little piano piece, but so pretty, and then the other layers start coming in and it continues to ascend. Up there on my all-time favorite intro tracks list.
•Tonight, Tonight-
The song that made me want to be a drummer. Jimmy Chamberlain beats the shit out of his drum set all towards the end of this one, but in a way that almost feels...polite.
The violins and cello soar throughout the entirety, this song really wouldn't be as amazing without them.
Regardless of how you may feel about Billy Corgan's voice, if these lyrics don't resonate with you, then congratulations on being the happiest person to exist.
The longing, the wanting to be wanted, the dread of the possibility of misplaced hope, the terror that these might be the best days of your life, but you won't notice until much, much later...
Now, if only we could get on with that "crucifying the insincere" business.
•Jellybelly-
This riff is a fucking killer.
I've always associated this one with optimistic nihilism. Everything's fucked, we're trapped in the belly of the beast, there's no way out, but there's nothing stopping us from doing whatever we want *because* nothing matters.
•Zero-
The bass line to end all bass lines.
More nihilism, but much less optimistic this time. More of a "she's here and she makes me happy and that's literally the only thing in the world that matters at this point" vibe.
•Here Is No Why-
The malaise of the star. Rich and famous and a household name and utterly, utterly depressed. I might be*the only one* who thinks this, but i kinda always saw this song as a kind of weird goodbye ode to Kurt Cobain, who's basically the poster boy for 'rock stars who never, ever wanted to actually be famous'.
•Bullet With Butterfly Wings-
Show me a better opening line than "The world is a vampire, sent to drain."
I used to like this song a lot more as a teenager than i do nowadays, likely because at this point it feels like: "what are you rebelling against?" "What do you got?!"
Just lashing out at anyone and anything, but ultimately it really doesn't matter and was a waste of time, effort, and anger. You're still just a rat in a cage.
•To Forgive-
A lot more chill musically after Bullet, but the lyrics are way harsher, talking about loss and pain and childhood trauma.
"I sensed my loss, before i even learned to talk.
And i remember my birthdays,
Empty party afternoons won't come back."
We moved *a lot* when i was a kid (5 schools in 6 years), so i was always the New Kid, Weird Kid, don't talk to him, we don't know him, shun him and maybe he'll leave.
This one always hit me hard.
•Fuck You (An Ode To No One)-
Back to the heavy riffs, back to angry Billy.
The constant New Kid finally hits high school and hasn't moved again, and he hates everybody because everybody hated him for years, but he hates himself the most because he simply cannot leave.
"Destroy the mind, destroy the body, but you cannot destroy the heart.
I don't need your love to disconnect."
•Love-
Fun fact: the guitar is so fuzzy and distorted that the first time i heard this song i thought my headphones had just broken.
Possibly Billy at his most nasal.
Last song i screamed that i didn't *need* your love, but that doesn't mean that i don't *want* it.
The heavily distorted guitar tones sound great throughout the song, but the solo rules.
•Cupid de Locke-
When i say "i love strings in rock music", I'm typically referring to the violin or the cello, (or the double bass if you're TRULY nasty), but i have to say that the harp is a truly underrated instrument these days: incredibly pretty, but incredibly difficult to play well, and it's played so well here.
The lyrics kinda feel like Billy tried his hand at some Shakespeare, and it mostly works.
•Galapogos-
This one hits me a lot harder now than it did when I was a kid, but who could expect a fifteen year old to really get a line like: "and tell me, am i still the man I'm supposed to be?"
But now? That line really resonates with the layers of self-doubt and revulsion that i have utilized as armor for the last 20 or so years, not to mention the more modern confusion and realization regarding things like gender and sexuality.
"And should i fall from grace, here with you,
Will you leave me, too?"
•Muzzle-
And the first line of this one continues the feeling of inadequacy from the last song:
"I fear that i am ordinary, just like everyone."
Without trauma-dumping, lemme just say this one hits close to home.
"I know that i am meant for this world."
Another one where Jimmy is beating the absolute shit out of those drums.
The end of it just feels like the prettiest, nicest ego-annihilating trip ever, to be honest.
•Porcelina of the Vast Oceans-
This intro is so pretty, but it's also interminably slow.
This was honestly one i usually skipped back in the day.
Billy is just being really extra Billy through most of the verses, and though James, D'arcy and Jimmy go ham throughout at least half of the 9 whole damn minutes of it, it's not quite enough to save us from Billy's poetry.
(My phone autocorrected that last word to pussy and you will not BELIEVE the strength it took to fix it.)
And then, an equally long outro and we're almost *halfway* done!
•Take Me Down-
I was always in love with James Iha's voice.
A ver sweet little song, almost a lullaby. If you have never felt like this, i feel bad for you.
Man, i just don't like that last line though.
[Twilight to Starlight]
•Where Boys Fear To Tread-
I LOVE this whole intro. What a great way to start the second half of the album. Doom_barrel_explosion.wav usage and everything. WAKE THE FUCK BACK UP.
This one IS heavy enough to save us from Billy's poetry.
•Bodies-
•Thirty-Three-
One my favorite Smashing Pumpkins songs, though like The List, mutable positioning is always involved.
Certainly one of the prettiest, imo.
This one is really tied with 1979 for "lyrics that could be a chapter from my biography", just... Very different chapters.
•In The Arms Of Sleep-
No joke: the title is correct. This was on a sleep-themed mix CD i had back in the day, just to have music on but nothing that would be too jarring.
Which is really selling this one short, because it's mellow but gorgeous.
•1979-
A song i have literally done speeches about. One of my all-time favorite songs.
One of my favorite music videos. This song is "high school". It's "adolescence", in all of its ups and downs and confusion and depression and (possible, occasional) glory.
•Tales Of A Scorched Earth-
This might be one of the hardest intros on this whole damn album, possibly one of e heaviest songs overall.
Angry Billy at his best, imo. This song is so fucking mad at everyone.
•Thru The Eyes Of Ruby-
I always figured this was about commitment anxiety, especially with the lines with marriage symbolism.
Really cool instrumentation that gets harder as it goes.
•Stumbeline-
Funny thing, the last song was 7 minutes long, but this one FEELS 7 minutes long. Acoustic strumming and more of Billy's poetry. There are some good lines in this one, but a lot of not great ones. 🤷
•X.Y.U.-
Another rather heavy song with some pretty dark lyrics.
And i apologize for an earlier mistake, THIS is the heaviest song on this album.
I liked this one more when i was a kid, but that was also when i was really into nu-metal, so...
•We Only Come Out At Night-
So, i have spent quite a few years working in the arena of late-night pizza, as well as made attempts at being some kind of warrior/poet, and this song feels incredibly accurate to large parts of my life.
"It's goofy, but i love it anyway." -how i feel about this song, also, words my wife has likely said about me.
•Beautiful-
This sounds like the kind of song that might get accidentally played at a wedding because they only half-heard half of the lyrics and didn't realize it's about a stalker.
•Lily (My One And Only)-
One of the better-written songs about a Peeping Tom, in that by the time you realize what's actually going on in the song, it's already almost over.
•By Starlight-
I really like this one overall, but the dead eyes parts makes me think of Jaws. (Dead eyes, like a doll's eyes...)
Did...did Billy fall in love with a shark?
•Farewell and Goodnight-
Another almost lullaby song, and it's really nice and peaceful with the whooshing noises and hand drumming throughout.
More of James singing is always nice, and D'arcy has a pretty voice as well. Man, i forgot how much i liked this one, and the return of the leitmotif in the very first song is such a nice closing to the album, very circular.
Okay... this album has taken me DAYS to get through (thanks ADHD) and it's finally done. Now... to power through the backlog.
Okay, Spotify, this album is long enough already, do we really need the super hyper deluxe edition with 4 ½ extra *hours* of demos, other takes or arrangements?
Who wants this? How often is any of it actually listened to by humans? Why the fuck can't i just listen to the regular, no frills, no demos, standard-ass version of this album?
Gripes with corporations aside, this is on my top 20 all-time favorite albums list.
(Do not ask to see the list, manifesting the concrete existence of the list is like nailing down your shadow.)
For better or worse, this album had a hand in shaping my adolescence.
It's safe to say that i might have been a better person overall during my 20s had i never heard this album.
There are some songs on it that are very likely to be going through my head on my deathbed. I will carry this album with me for the rest of my life.
Which is why it is sucks that Billy Corgan is such an asshole! In this TED Talk i....
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
no, i agree, that people seemed more attractive in the 90s. and i think that it's because of the media spotlight on modern-day celebrities making them feel much more unapproachable. it's like, a lot of the famous people don't feel real in a way - or more like, they make themselves marketable more. and like, it's not that 90's celebrities also didn't market themselves, but i feel like they were more authentic in a sense? or as authentic one can be when having a whole public persona. but i just feel that in the 90s (and 00s!) that people were more "real". they weren't mass-marketed schemes on instagram and such. (even if they were still selling products). and i think part of it is that they still had this uniqueness to them? like they are all (on some level) distinguishable from the next - even when they are in similar genres (e.g. Britpop). but now, you could show me a picture of someone famous, and it could be like a whole slew of people (rather than being identifiable, original, and THEMSELVES). and i think part of that might be like the commodification of aesthetics and scenes? like you (I) can call Damon a poser for looking laddish, but it's nowhere near the way that now, there's all these like "ohhhhh [x] scene/aesthetic is popular with the kids on tiktok? that'll be my whole music aesthetic". it's like - when MGK tried going all pop-punk/emo and was pretty much ridiculed. it's conformity trying to be non-conformist (don't even get me started on the fashion like the tiktok punk fashion that's all from fucking shein or whatever). there's no soul in the lool/aesthetic now because they're all just trying to sell something. there's the genuinness missing. and as much as yeah, 90s celebrities were also trying to sell you something (because that's how all famous people make a living) i feel like there was more heart and soul put into it. it's the "virgin Made for Media Consumption vs. chad Just Some Guy", but even weirdos from the 90s are in the chad group cause it's themselves y'know? idk, there's just something missing (the heart!!!) in a lot of modern-day celebrities and musicians that leads to points being taken off the attractive scale. like, isn't everyone's advice always to "just be yourself!" - and yet most of modern celebrities are formulated to be "how can you sell the most? what is trending and how can you fit into that? what is your brand and you have to stick to it." like. i'd take all the "if kurt cobain played football he wouldn't have killed himself" (and all the other red flag hilarious britpop quotes like those old men are sooo fucking funny objectively) like yeah they're uhhhhhhhh concerning to say the least but. it's identifiable. it's like. there is no pr team creating an image that you stick to.
(sorry for the hella long rant i'm quite tipsy atm)
Lots of good points here. "Conformity trying to be non-conformist" is a great description of a lot of what we see in music and media these days.
Also it makes me weirdly happy that someone still remembers "virgin Made for Media Consumption vs chad Just Some Guy" I should draw that someday
4 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
