#ELY YOU ARE SO REAL FOR THIS
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>> memory fragment \ not categorized
Now when he snaps awake it’s to his heart racing in his chest, sweat prickling across his skin like shards of ice, and Bridger staring at him wide awake from across the fire.
—
Thrawn reflects on his time trying to get back to Eli's side.
POST·MOR·TEM // FILE 03 [READ ON AO3]
ship: Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo/Eli Vanto
words: 80 490, completed
tags: minor character death, it's ronan, sorry to all the ronan stans but he drew the short straw on plot armor unfortunately, canon-typical violence, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, this time for real, post-star wars: rebels, thrawn and ezras whacky space adventures, reluctant bonding over childhood trauma, little bit of whump, and mentions of torture, not gore but gore adjacent, literally everyone commits murder in this, epistolary elements, pov thrawn as usual, five stages of grief but they're at war so they're only doing anger, thrawn gets absolutely dragged for his crimes, mutual pinning (angry version), i promise it's not miscommunication it's just ptsd, they'll get there eventually, somehow still canon compliant
series: pt 3/3 of postmortem - excerpts from former grand admiral mitth'raw'nuruodo’s private journal of catalogued memories
FILE 01 | FILE 02 | BORIKA INTERLUDE | FILE 03
#thranto#thrawn#eli vanto#it's done!!!!!#i did it#the happy end for real this time#thank you to everyone who's been on this journey with me!!#honestly still feel a bit unreal about the response#and about the fact that i'm done now??#kinda bittersweet#anyway#thank you for reading#i's not letting me post alt text again i'm so sorry
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I think what I hate most about the Teen Wolf movie is that there were at least three instances where Scoot was parenting Eli and basically stealing formative moments from Derek in an attempt to endear the audience to an Eli and Scoot relationship and prime us to accept Scoot adopting Eli….
Crime #1: growling in Eli’s face to get him to transform??? What dude? How does that even work when Eli faints at the sight of a transformation? And if it’s that easy then Eli should have transformed anytime Derek flashed his eyes. It’s so messed up because Derek would have LOVED to be there for his first transformation, even just partial, but it was ripped from him bc Scoot wanted to be Mr. Alpha badass.
And no, I don’t think Derek guiding Eli through his first beta shift makes it better because Derek should have had the opportunity to guide him from his very first shift and help him maintain that shift so he could do it at will.
And don’t try to tell me it was necessary because super strong and fast alpha wolves should be able to carry fifteen year old scrawny boys.
And super strong and fast alpha werewolves should be able to outrun their half dead ex girlfriend without breaking a sweat.
And don’t get me started on Derek being injured. Actually I will get started!
when you consider Derek was originally hurt bc Scoot didn’t just go after Allison with his fast werewolf speed or sniff her out with his super werewolf nose tells you all you need to know about Scoot and his connection to his werewolf. he won’t be a great wolf teacher BECAUSE HE DOESNT KNOW SHIT. And I am blaming him (for the reasons above) for Derek being injured in the first place, so Scott set the whole stealing Eli’s first transformation from Derek thing into motion.
Crime #2: Derek is basically begging Eli to practice with him, but Scoot is the one who gets to play with Eli?? No way. That’s stupid. I reject it
Crime #3: DEREK DIDNT GET TO WATCH ELI PLAY OR MAKE THE WINNING SHOT??? After he convinced coach to give him some time on the field?? Blasphemous.
ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING he was only prevented from doing so bc of some stupid shit that didn’t even really involve him?? Like none of that shit was his business???
It’s like Jeff is trying to make Derek seem like a bad parent who doesn’t know how to help his own son and Scoot is a natural born parenting genius. He posits all these moments of good parenting but gifts them to Scoot instead of Derek. Derek is trying and trying and instead of having even one scene where Derek and Eli aren’t being standoffish and frustrated, Jeffery attempts to give us some easy as pie, natural, buddy-buddy relationship with Scoot and Eli.
we were given crumbs for Derek and Eli’s relationship and it’s sick, really.
And I will never forgive Scoot for being tongue deep with Allison THE MOMENT Derek is BURNED TO DEATH (a crime punishable by life in prison)and RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS GRIEVING SON (have some class! You’re thirty or whatever!)
There are so many more crimes in this movie but I’m trying not to remember the movie at all, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#teen wolf the movie#teen wolf spoilers#girl when I say#fuck jeff davis#I mean he can choke#and why did Allison feel entitled to adopt the son of the man she stabbed and shot through the neck some 24 hours before he died#did Derek even get a chance to say he loves his son before he was the sacrificial lamb?#because I don’t think he did#anti scott mccall#listen I don’t go out of my way to hate that guy#but it’s so very easy to hate that bland man#also!! why did every jog softly instead of genuinely run and then get surprised when they’re caught?#dearest you were even moving of course you got caught#leelee gets real#and don’t get me started on the pacing#it was fucking terrible and I couldn’t tell if we were in the same day or not#Derek Hale#eli stilinski hale
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I'm curious what people think about Victor and Eli's relationship during the Lockland Era. I'm of the opinion that Eli cared about Victor as a person more than Victor cared about him, which isn't to say I don't think Victor cared, but I think his care was a lot more focused on himself and how Eli made *him* feel. This isn't an analysis or anything, really. I don't have evidence from the books to back me. I'm just more sharing a headcannon than anything. If anyone has any thoughts on this please share them I'm curious
#its like#i feel like Victor saw Eli as a puzzle to be solved#he wanted his attention and companionship#but any actual worry or care he has for him is stuffed down so far it only surfaces when he thinks Eli might not come back#And Eli definitely has those moments of selfishness too#but he clearly cared a lot more about Victor's safety than Victor even cared for himself#his feelings are nowhere near entirely selfless but to me it felt like he had a lot more affection(?) for Victor before it all went to shit#which made him even more willing to kill Victor in the end#because in his mind the Victor he knew and loved was already dead#and whoever was left was just a crude imitation wearing his skin#and when that opinion gets called into question he doubles down on it#because he cant handle the idea that this is who Victor really is#or the fact that everything hes done was to his real friend#anyway thats just my take on it#let me know what you think#vengeful ve schwab#vicious ve schwab#victor vale#villains series#eli ever#eli cardale#evervale#vicious#vengeful
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Update on how reading Thrawn: Alliances is going
I am s t r u g g l i n g to finish it..im barely past halfway
#to those of you who warned me..i should have listened to you#yall were right it really isnt the same as that first book#i'm still gonna finish it though because i have the uncontrollable need to learn everything i can about my hyperfixations#i really like the clone wars era flashbacks...but every time it switches back to the empire era stuff i get bored and put it down#so far my favourite parts have been:#anakin being a dumbass trying to hide the real nature of his relationship with padme from thrawn#vader being a dumbass worrying about whether or not thrawn knows he is anakin#vader being a delusional dumbass referring to anakin as a separate person even IN HIS MIND#vader shutting down every mention of anakin by just saying#anakin skywalker is dead#and thrawn being like#sure jan#the chapters ive liked the most though are the ones from padmes pov....i wish there was more of that#anyways im 60% in and i have 9 days to finish it :)#also the further i get into this book the more i miss eli#i still think thrawn is an awesome and super interesting character#but man i miss his dynamic with eli#thrawn#thrawn: alliances#darth vader#anakin skywalker#padme amidala#palpatine#the clone wars#thrawn: alliances spoilers#thrawn novels#star wars novels#eli vanto#mitth'raw'nuruodo#chiss ascendancy
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the witches. investigating the irminsul. are the ones writing STORYBOOKS
#personal stuff#thorn plays genshin#VINDICATIONNN#like i called it w nahida preserving info as a story so it wouldn't get changed#you can't convince me that at least SOME of the witches aren't also doing the same. like holy shit i love being right#THIS WHOLE QUEST KICKS ASS I LOVE HEXENZIRKEL LORE#GARDENING METAPHORS WITH GOLD AUUGH#RIPPING AND TEARING [POS]#OOHH THE VOICE WE HEARD AFTER THE SCARAMOUCHE THING WAS A HEXENZIRKEL MEMBER???#also oh my goddddd alice's way of speaking reminds me a lot of ely#it might just be a trope? for that particular kind of character? but it stood out to me here#also. also also. not relevant to the quest but the yt video description.#alice being referred to as a friend to adults who yet harbor hope........starts cryign#anyway YEAH windblume was fun :]] autistic cyno real. also backstory for him???#and collei n sucrose's interactions were so sweet i care them
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gritted teeth. i cant believe im saying this but house of the dragon is really fucking good.
#its a bit messy in some places but man. its real good#im an avid got show hater since s2 bc i have genuine fondness for asoiaf books as clumsy as they are#and bc got was like. soulless bar the casting and riding on plot points it never understppd the themes of#but hotd works bc its entirely separate from got and asoiaf's own themes#turns out once you get good writers who take inspiration from source material to make their own story it works!!#like sure its v girlbossy.#but the characters are fantastic and they all suck so much#inspired casting and directing and music#just finished ep 4 btw do not spoil#eli talks
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"nobody talks like that" is a statement that just doesn't work for a species of 8 billion jabbering insane apes
#i'm an autistic person who often has a strange manner of speak#so it vexes me when people say that#(case in point!)#also funny when this is said about characters played by jeremy davies or michael emerson (no they actually talk like that)#or characters written by eli roth (eli actually does or at least did speak like a hyperactive frat bro blasted on monster)#Boy Have I Got News For You#if you witness somebody in fiction talking in some way you consider weird just assume somebody in real life actually talks like that#oh like when people criticize the dialogue in life is strange#''nobody actually talked like that'' no. no i promise you that happened. i still say hella
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yeah, yeah, eli and demetri are cute, but miguel and eli? they own my heart now and forever. out of all the bonds that eli could ever have and i want to see more on screen, in order it goes: eli/miguel, eli/sam, eli/robby, and eli/tory. i said what i said.
#out of character. ⁽ edie ⁾#don't get me wrong#eli and dem are incredible and they had a beautiful friendship but the show refuses to acknowledge that dem genuinely never accepted#that eli was growing and changing and tried to pull the hawk persona from him without a care of why it had happened or what it meant to eli#he looked down on him for it and it's why hawk turned all the affection he had into active hatred#and eli was horrible to him and you don't just move past that and go back to how things were. eli and dem are so so different now#and they need to fix so much between them. they can and they will but it's also okay to not go back to how things were#they outgrew each other and that's okay. it's valid and it happens and they can still be close without going in circles#eli and miguel's friendship is so important to me because they grew together and miguel actually saw eli for who he was#miguel was the only one who could see his friend even when he took the rage and anger and need for control too far#he knew eli didn't stop being eli just because he was putting up this front and diving head first into it#also the fact that sam and eli have so much in common yet have always been on opposing ends and a balance to each other? makes me feral#i need more of them because i know they can be such a good team and it warmed my heart to see them root for each other#sam and eli are so passionate and have the capability of being so raw and real and their fighting styles are the most balanced tbh#they've been everywhere all at once and i need them to be a duo and fighting together because everything they hated each other for was a#doing of their trauma and their fears and everyone else tbh. sam and eli don't really know each other at all#and they have so much to unpack and see in each other because i do think that they have a lot in common and balance each other#eli and robby whew so much to unpack there too and i just need them to not gloss over what happened between them#and same with eli and tory because at some point they were all they had in ck when everything changed#and hawk was loyal to her and cared for her and he was displaced and it sent him deeper down#anyway justice for eli and actually seeing ties that matter without him just being shoved into an old friendship
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he's my babygirl, my princess, my everything
😧
#hes so cute [ photo of him looking like a hamster trying to consume more pellets even tho it has a whole banana slice stored in its cheek#last photo is live footage of him reacting to me giving pickens the top wr trophy#sauce would literally change his position to wr just so he could contend for it#and lose#hes not in the top cb which have a few more tops than the wrs but not many#n half of those are probably like 50 yrs old#now a REAL comparison someone should study is which side has more brats wrs or cbs#both got killer BOATS#Brattiest Of All Time#i think the wrs win for now only cus tbh we know more of them we kinda have to#we only know sauce eli ramsey so well because theyre mentally ill#someone who knows more football should conduct the study im busy thinking about my bbg 🥰#his lil mouth while hes chewing is so cute#the stance lmao#squirrels when u catch them starving out the birds ure trying to feed with ur bird feeder bcs the squirrels invaded#his nose 🥰🥰🥰#the way hes just a himbo in his commercials but on the field he is satan#inside you are two wolves (both are gay#really represents his dumbass smartass flipflop ways#his lips are so pretty#hes gorgeous#as long as he hides from harsh lighting like a mole creature he is my divine#harsh lighting can make most people look. questionable. so im not being mean im just stating facts#nfl yb pretends to like sauce only for his bdubs discount but slowly falls in love with him during their bdubs dates#but sauce finds out his original intentions and doesnt tell him. just goes on twitter n posts 'nba yb ass' and waits#they become bitter exes#they kiss#sauce
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Me personally, I DO believe in making Hannibal and Will's relationships all about each other. I think after they became infatuated with each other there was no room in their hearts for anyone else. As much as I love the concept of the "murder family" and I believe they both truly loved Abigail, I don't think it's a sustainable dynamic at all. I won't try to change anyone's opinions!! But Hannibal is so clearly obsessed with Will, and I think it's safe to say it's mutual seeing as Hannibal tried to kill Will's wife and son and Will chose to run away with him anyways. Anyone who thinks Hannibal loves Will more than Will loves him... now THAT I can't understand.
But this is a CONFESSIONS blog. So here goes: sometimes I have hallucinations or night terrors or I forget periods of time. I don't know what's wrong with me (hopefully not encephalitis) but sometimes when these problems scare me, Hannibal NBC is actually comforting to me.
Like, look at Will. He had these problems and he turned out FINE. Yeah it was rough for a minute but now he's frolicking in Europe somewhere with his unfathomably sexy husband on their murder honeymoon. HE LIVED and sometimes these issues scare me so badly I feel like I'll die. I guess it's just nice to think that I'm not the only person who has these problems. Obviously Hannibal is NOT real life but it does make me feel less alone when my issues are really bothering me.
P. S. This is a confession because I have no idea if it's healthy or normal behavior and I'm nervous about what y'all will think
P. P. S. I'm also the anon who was traumatized by what Dolarhyde did to Chilton. AND the anon who was pissed for no reason about Chiyoh kissing Will. (You were right, it's because he should be kissing Hannibal)
P.P.P.S Sorry this is so long
yeah I knew it was you HAHHSSHAHHAH my analytical brain is never turned off. I feel like I understand you. in the most humble way possible. I won't lie.
#hannibal confessions#star-motif#and I've been too scared to say but I agree with you wholly on this. I just have a habit of agreeing with everything#everyone says compulsively. but this I agree with. sorry guys I just don't believe in murder family.#I wish it were real but it would never have worked out.#now I don't know if this is going to make you feel better or not but I also can relate to the other stuff. I understand.#I feel “normal” when I watch that show#or more so I feel less condemned for not fitting into “normalcy” standards#if that makes sense.#also are we the same. are we the same person. night terrors. hallucinations. we could be the same if we really wanted to.#literally make these as long as you want#I'M sorry about the long tags. i felt like i had to say something. wishing you the best Eli.#Eli my DM's are open for you if you wish to chat. i'm all ears
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the official drink of lysatra is an arnold palmer
#twitter saw it first#this was just so real to me i had to share it here too#(if you don’t know an arnold palmer is half ice tea half lemonade)#also zsforss had a great addition and that eli makes his with pink lemonade#lysatra#eli vanto#sw
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Don't mind me, I'm just being emo thinking about Sparks taking Steris's advice to have faith and follows it up by taking a level in Paladin 🥺🥺🥺
#Eli Speaks#Frostmaiden#Sparks#Steris#g-dddd I love them#Sparks is going through a real rough time#and she hasn't been able to express it yet#but she is so grateful for Steris's guidance#aaaand#(Sloane Nat and Claire stop reading if you see this lol)#I love her taking that to heart and praying and connecting with the goddess of joy 🥺#ace put it well#he's taking a step away from his toxic patron who told him what sort of chaos and joy he should be having#and walking towards someone who will allow him the choice to do as he pleases and find joy in things like helping others#it's too much
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im enjoying still being stuck in degrassi like i have the last sixth plus months, as you all know, so when i make my degrassi multimuse just know for sixth months ive been waiting to pull the trigger — also i have barely scrolled the dash since yesterday but idk what happened or what’s going on, i only know and am referring to my own personal experiences here idk what’s going on otherwise
#im partially joking but like#that’s one of my fav shows for nostalgic and other reasons#and honestly being away from the animanga fandom for a while has been nice#i doubt ill make a real new blog but i might change things here going forward#in the meantime im still on break and im going to update my rules#bc as much as i snapped a bit yesterday honestly i let way too much slide#so there’ll be some adjustments#if you were wondering my fav character(s) eli and cam are my two babies#but my partner would write cam id write eli#i have other favs but you start slow and also ngl eli is def a character i identified with bc his reactions i definitely can just get#i don’t usually have characters like that but he and adam combined really were my two HS fascinations#wonder why
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I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is Eli Clark
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS ELI CLARK
Santa told me that he's really there
Santa has hear me, I've been so good this year
All I want is one thing, my true love is here
He's all I want, just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here
Santa that's my only wish this year
DEAR LORDT IN HEAVEN I LOVE ELI CLARK SO MUCH 😭❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
#I FUCKING LOVE ELI CLARK#ELI CLARK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH#eli clark shitposting#nekodroid shitpost#idv shitpost#MY BELOVED HUSBAND ELI CLARK#LORD IN HEAVEN MY LOVE FOR ELI CLARK IS REAL#FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I LOVE ELI CLARK
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gd i'm so glad i abandoned aot/snk back in 2014 but also every so often i'm reminded of the ending the manga got and it legit brings me to hysterical laughter
#EREN.............. WHAT A MAN YOU ARE................#can't even be angry about it i knew what hisayama was already but to see it laid open this way was so fucking funny#it's so fucking bad!!!!!! and it's so poorly executed!!!!! it is however v funny in its own morbid way.#EREN THANK YOU FOR COMMITTING MASS MURDER FOR OUR SAKE AND NO GOOD REASON#gd everything from the forced shounen ending romances to the genocide apologia to the dickriding for eren. incredible shit#and TIME TRAVEL??? I THOUGHT THE TIME TRAVEL THING WAS A JOKE UNTIL I CHECKED AND ITS REAL ITS SO BAD#eli talks#anyhow.
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entry level retail job with 3 years prior experience required just tell me to kill myself maybe
#eli unemployed era doing irreparable damage#havent been able to sleep in weeks because im so anxious abt not having a job and ive applied to every place within a 20 mile radius#and not gotten a single call or email back i think i might just end it all even mcdonalds dont want me#never should have quit my waitress job where i was worked 62 hours a week and only given half my paycheck while my drunk boss yelled at me#because thats all i deserve obviously why else would all these places that would actually pay me and give me real scheduled shifts hate me#starbucks pretended they were gonna hire me then once again i got ghosted instead of hired super cool#reapplying to everywhere just to remind them that hehe uhm its been a few weeks and we r both still desperate why dont you want me haha#if only i had a job so i had money so i could afford to get diagnoses and medication for my cocktail of severe mental issues
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