#Donnie tries to ignore it but day by day it gets louder
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Haunting Me
A Donnie Angst fic
Tw, possibly distressing content
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Donnie couldn’t remember anything the first night it began.
He couldn’t remember anything about it, and if you asked him he wouldn’t be able to tell you about it.
He wouldn’t be able to tell you about the mission that came before the argument, or how he was the one to screw it up once again.
About how his self righteous, self serving ass and his stupid tech fucked up.
How the ride home was quieter than it ever had been in ages.
And he wouldn’t be able to tell you about what his brothers said to him when he got home.
He couldn’t remember how Leo looked at him with pity.
He couldn’t tell you about how Mikey wouldn't even talk to him.
And he wouldn’t be able to tell you how Raph lashed out.
How he yelled and screamed. How he called him emotionless. How he spoke so fast to the point where Donnie couldn't even focus on what he was saying. He couldn’t tell you how that fight pushed him over the edge. He couldn’t tell you how his blood ran cold when he heard that they were going on another mission, when for one day he just wanted to stay home. He couldn’t tell you how for once, he let someone else drive his beloved turtle tank. He couldn’t tell you how once he got there, the yelling and the action and the sounds of scraping and screeching and demands being given sounded like nail on a turn table. He couldn’t tell you how it all felt like so much, too much, that he could barely even focus on anything. He couldn’t tell you how he fell off, or went over the deep end.
He couldn't tell you that he rushed forward during the fight, unable to find himself caring about anything.
Just wanting to end it. End something, either the fight or himself.
About an attack coming straight for him, the creatures leg piercing his back.
Piercing his shell, flesh, and his lungs.
He couldn't tell you how he kept moving anyways.
And he couldn't tell you about how he bashed that screaming bitches skull.
Everything. It felt gross, it all felt wrong. He wasn't sure if it was overstimulation, heightened by blood in his lungs from the attack. He wasn’t sure if it was the feeling of the blood of his enemy staining his hands and Bo. He wasn't sure if it was the uncomfortable leather texture of the chair they sat him down in when he got home. He wasn't sure if it was him lying again and again, pretending the injuries were only surface wounds when in reality he could feel it moving inside him with every breath he took. He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t remember.
And he couldn’t remember how Raph said he was benched.
But he could tell you how his shell felt bear, without the pressure of his battle shell that morning. He could tell you the way his skin felt on his pants, and the way his muscle felt on his bone. He could tell you how that morning when he woke up all he could hear was the sound of the air conditioning, and the clock, and the fan, and the refrigerator all buzzing loud, louder than ever before. He could tell you how that day even his safe foods felt wrong, and how even toothpaste felt like shards of glass against his tongue. He could tell you how every texture against his skin made him want to rip it off like peeling wax.
He could tell you how it reached out that morning.
It reached out.
That first initial connection had haunted him, haunted him like nothing else.
The feeling of it entangling with him, it seeping into his pores, his wounds, his body.
HIS body.
After that it never felt like his anymore.
It was always there, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. Its tentacles, the boundaries of life and death, it and him, their identites blurred and merged together. He couldn’t get rid of it, but he NEEDED it to be gone.
It was simply a problem, an issue, but the sound of its heartbeat thumped in his head like his own, and it’s movement became his as it latched on like a leech, like a parasite, and refused to let go.
It was terrifying. The few minutes he was connected he felt it like he felt himself. It consumed him. Its emotions if you could even say it had any, were now theirs. It’s memories, he experienced thousands of them just in a second. Thousands of universes reduced to ash, millions of souls crushed under the weight of the monstrous machine. The engulfment and the struggling of the billions, it consumed as they, like him, tried to take control.
Tried to control something. The ship, themselves as they felt their humanity being ripped away from them as the biomass wrapped around their flesh and brain, as it infested their skin and bones.
He did that. It did that, all of that. And now that was a part of him.
The grief of thousands, engraved into his mind.
The burden of knowledge per say, haunted him. And this knowledge seeped into his mind, and his soul, and to every aspect of his self.
Now? He was different. Irreparable and unchangebly different.
Disgusting. And broken, and plagued, and diseased and tainted and infected and invaded and-
Impure.
He would never be the same.
He would never be dirt free.
And these thoughts plagued him as he laid in his room, in his bed, alone.
Unable to, not allowed to get up, to get his mind off of it.
He was stuck. Trapped and paralyzed.
He rocked back and forth in his bed and scratched his neck, almost as if to try and claw the skin off.
God, what was he doing?
Was he insane or something?
He stared at his computer screen on his desk, looking at the code he had yet to finish.
Why did it haunt him?
It was nothing, he had experienced the least out of all of them.
And yet, they all seemed to be recovering.
So why?
Something was wrong with him.
Fundamentally and irreparable wrong, even before the Krang
And even before he learned how to fight and create, even though he had been creating for as long as he could remember.
Just don’t think about it.
It’s simple. Just don’t think about it.
Ignore it.
He’s not thinking about it.
I’m not thinking about it.
It infected him, latched on deep, down to his bones
He felt it.
Felt it all.
He had felt it as Raph disinfected his wounds, as he talked about how according to the scans, it almost hit Donnies lung.
He had felt it with Mikey as he helped him to his room, as with each breath he took it got harder to breathe.
Felt his twin be crushed between unfamiliar limbs, limbs that weren’t his but felt as if his own.
Felt the rot wrapping around Raph, spoke the words of the lies whispered in his head. The lies that were used to control him.
Felt the vines that tangled and entangled his youngest brother, restraining, snaring, and destroying.
He wasn’t supposed to be moving around, as his injuries supposedly bedbound him, but laying any longer in these sheets and allowing him to rot away in his room (and let the rot infest in his wounds) would kill him.
Or at least make him kill himself.
He swore he could feel it, feel them deeper than he had before.
As now, he was sure it wasn’t in his head.
Now? It was in his wounds.
He could feel it wrap around his lungs, restricting his breath and constricting him alive.
A parasite, digging into his wounds like an infection. He swore he could feel it, like maggots infesting his wounds.
And he could taste it, in the back of his throat. Like bile or blood, the metallic taste of his scorching his throat with each breath he took.
And he could smell it, the disgusting scent of blood and flesh. The smell of it, the oddly clean aroma, almost like bleach and alcohol mixed with the blood and flesh of thousands.
And he could hear it.
Whispering in his ears, thousands of thoughts flying through like a symphony.
The harmony of the machine, each metaphorical gear turning and churning.
And he hated it.
Hated that during those few moments of connection, he felt more alive than he had ever been.
And after, when he was changed and now a ghost of his former self, he had been more alive then anybody had ever been.
And he hated that when entangled with it, he felt a connection.
A connection that he had never felt with anybody else, not Splinter, not April, and not his brothers.
Donie scratched at the back of his neck.
He didn’t need, he didn’t even want it.
It was a nuisance, a problem, something to be solved and fixed and begone of.
None of it was valued. No honorable deeds would ever be done by it. It, what was left of it was repulsive and disgusting.
But he couldn’t get rid of it, he couldn’t!
No matter how much it’s thoughts plagued his mind and no matter how it destroyed him, it CAPTIVATED him.
It needed him, he couldn’t just abandon it. It was a part of him.
He didn’t need it or want it or love it, it repulsed him, but it was the only thing keeping him alive.
He could feel it;s heartbeat as he swore his stopped.
If it didn’t enchant him, he would dig it out of his wounds where he stood.
The softshell stood up and began pacing around his room, muttering to himself, almost as if to talk to it.
He couldn’t do this right now, he couldn’t do this ever-
Ever. never ever.
He needed to get his mind off things.
To run, to flee, to escape. From it, from his own body and mind.
He needed to.
He needed to-
Donnie looked to his digital clock.
2am.
Nobody was up right now.
He was alone.
He looked to the sewer grate, resided just outside his room.
He needed to get some fresh air.
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Okay, that wasn't so bad. Sure as hell wasn't good, but not bad.
This is not a one part fic, there will be more to come. Side note though, next parts will likely involve drug addiction and grooming (likely non sexual)
I haven't posted in a while because I've been losing my will to live. Anyways, more Donnie centric content to come. We love making him suffer.
#donnie tmnt#rise donnie#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#donnie angst#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles donnie#tmnt angst#rise april#rise leo#rise mikey#rise raph#rottmnt april#rottmnt donnie#rise donnatello#rottmnt angst#angst#rottmnt leo#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt raph#april o'neil#raphael#raph tmnt#leonardo#leonardo tmmt
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a gift i made in like an hour don’t judge it too harshly it’s like midnight and i’m procrastinating studying for my finals 🙏
⚠️TW⚠️: CSA, incest, child abuse
*throws this and runs away*
the day started badly.
it was warm, and for the first time in a while there was some food in the fridge, leo wasn’t throwing a bitch-fit and the lair should still be clean from his duties last night.
but none of that mattered.
because dad was upset.
and when dad was upset, everyone was upset.
he tried to ignore it, tried to let the droning, mindless creature take control of his body, take control of his mind so he didn’t have to, so he could relax. but he couldn’t. every time the man’s footsteps dragged across the cool concrete floors, raph’s shoulders would tense.
his ears would tune in to any move, any noise that would clue splinter into a sudden rage so he could be a step ahead of him. the presence would drag him back to consciousness every time.
just another thing he’s forced to do.
the steam from the pot below him warmed his cold hands, defrosted the ice buried in the grooves of his fingers as he added ingredients and stirred with precision so natural, it might as well have been mechanical.
twice left.
once right.
the liquid boiled beneath him, softly bubbling against the confines of the walls the pot held it in. the heat pricked his fingers uncomfortably.
twice left.
once right.
someone was making noise. voices. the familiar words from his siblings were muffled behind the lairs doors.
mikey and leo. donnie wouldn't be out of his room yet.
twice left.
once right.
a heart beat quickly in the chest he resided in, pumping adrenaline through his veins. the voices were getting louder. they’d be yelling soon.
twice left.
…
how many times right?
green hands shook around the wooden spoon, no longer circling the pot. the soup bubbled fiercely beneath him, hypnotic to his eyes as he stared at the concoction.
one.
two.
pop.
the corners of his vision flickered hazily to static. his gaze didn’t move.
one.
two.
pop.
“-god, you can be such a dick sometimes!”
“don’t get upset because i take training more seriously than you!”
one.
two.
pop.
“training? you think this is about training?”
“what else would it be about? it’s not like you can contribute anything else of worth to this clan!”
one.
two.
pop.
“maybe i don’t wanna be a part of the clan! maybe i should just take MY brothers and leave!”
one.
“oh, cause that worked so well last time! i know you have the IQ of a goldfish, mikey, but don’t you remember you got caught?”
two.
“because you don’t want us to leave, but you don’t want us around either! leo, what the fuck do you want us to do? it’s not our fault you’re fucking psychotic! if you weren’t such an asshole then-”
“can you two SHUT UP!”
pop.
silence fell in the sewer. the air was still, charged with a current of anticipated anxiety. his breath left him in pants, hands shaking under the white knuckle grip against the lip of the counter.
his veins flooded with ice, jolting through his fingers and toes, melting down the nerves of his legs. his face was flushed red earth radiated from his cheeks.
he heard a door close somewhere in the house.
his breath caught in his throat, a quiet, struggled whine leaving his lips instead as the oxygen cut itself off.
a pair of footsteps dragged slowly closer, agonizingly slow. patient, like he had all the time in the world, like no matter how long he took, what he was looking for would still be there when he arrived.
he would. he knew he wouldn’t run even if he could. his feet stayed planted against the concrete.
“red.”
his blood went cold.
“follow me.”
he could see leo and mikey in the corner of his vision, peaking around the corner of the door frame. mikey’s breathing was strained and subtle, watching with panicked eyes.
leo was silent.
he desperately tried to wrangle a breath into his constrained lungs, as he turned off the heated stove with shaky hands. splinters back was to him. somehow that made everything more demeaning.
he lowered his gaze to scowl at the ground. splinter walked casually, almost nonchalantly towards the dojo, and raph felt his heart freeze again.
the door slid open with a creaking ‘whoosh’, and raph obediently closed it behind him, much to his dismay.
splinter walked to the head of the room, his usual place in front of a faded mural depicting the hamato clan through the ages. the paint was dull and chipping, the faces too worn down to make out anything other than initial basic features.
it still made him feel watched.
“kneel.”
raph knelt at his father's feet, face hot with rage and shame boiling under the surface of his skin.
he tried to let the parasitic creature in his mind dig it’s claws into his frontal lobe, stabbing a razor sharp tail into his hippocampus to blind his memory from whatever was about to happen.
he stayed in control.
“what,” splinters voice was low and dangerous, a facade of calm masking the brewing storm beneath the words. “was so important, you had to disturb me with your pointless whining?”
was raph supposed to speak? was that his cue? was this a trick question?
he opened his mouth to stumble over a useless explanation, but he was cut off sharply before anything could leave his beak.
“well? i’m waiting!”
“i just- mikey and leo were- “
a sigh quieted him instantly, his mouth snapping shit with an audible ‘click’.
“red, you understand you’re lucky, yes?”
“…yes sensei.”
“do you know what my father would have done to me if i did the same stunt you just pulled?”
trick question.
“he would have been much crueler with his punishment, sensei.”
“good.”
a thin, clawed hand landed on his shoulder, the grimy fur felt rough against his skin.
the hand rubbed gently, back and forth on his scales, and he cut his airway off, closing his throat to stop the anxious, distressed churr from leaving his mouth.
“red. you’re a good student.”
…
what?
“you’re strong, you have potential to serve this clan well. you could be a ferocious ninja one day.”
raph stayed silent. there was no manual for how to navigate this.
“do you know why i’m so hard on you?”
“…no sensei..?”
like a switch, the clawed hand dug into his flesh, and a whimper bubbled in his throat. he fought it down, along with the vomit churning in his stomach.
“it’s because while you have physical qualities the hamato clan prides themselves in, you are a disaster mentally.”
i wonder who’s fault that is.
“you are disobedient, your self control lacks anything of worth, you’re too quick to anger, and you are nothing this clan stands by. why haven’t you fixed this yet? why do you cling to the resolve of your flaws so desperately?”
“…sensei i- “
“and that’s another one of your issues! you’re impatient and disrespectful.” the grip on his shoulder loosened a fraction, sharp claws retracting from his skin. a shallow breath escaped his lips.
“look at me.”
the hand trailed lower.
no.
ice clotted in his veins, his muscles tensed under pale, flushed skin.
“dad i don’t- “
“that’s your problem,” the rat hissed through his teeth, eyes narrow and daring. “you think you get a say.”
his claws hit the ridge of his plastron, and he lightly trailed his hand along the ledge.
raph was gonna puke.
he couldn’t do this again.
“you think you’re in control of things you can’t even comprehend,” splinter seethed, running his finger through the dip down the middle of his front, roughly where his chest would have been.
acid green eyes stayed locked on the ground, and he prayed splinter couldn’t feel the frantic drum of his heart in his chest. the man shifted, crouch down closer to the ground.
“tell me,” he demanded. “tell me who’s in control.”
…
“you, sensei.”
“tell me who you owe your life to; who gave you a roof over your head and food on your table, who you would be dead without?”
“you sensei.”
“and yet you act so ungrateful. all i want is one day of peace and quiet, but you can’t go one minute without whining and complaining, can you?”
“…”
“i asked you a question!”
he angrily blinked the tears out of his eyes, face flushing in shame and humiliation as his body lit a distressed fire through his skin, the furry hand landing roughly on the skin of his thigh.
“…no sensei,” he whispered. his voice broke pathetically as he futility attempted to steady his trembling breath.
his eyes caught sight of his other hand in his peripheral vision, before it settled on his chin, aggressively ripping his chin up, forcing their gazes to meet.
“i’m feeling generous today. you get one more chance.” his breath was hot and acidic where it hit leathered green skin. “don’t waste it. if you pull shit like this again, i’m going to pull you back in here, and show you who really has the poser here. is that what you want?”
he fought desperately to keep his eyes dry and connected with his fathers, pitifully steadying his shaking breath.
“no, sensei.”
“yeah, that’s what i thought. are you going to be good?”
“yes sensei.”
all at once, the hands left him, and his lungs took a greedy breath of grateful, relieved air.
splinter didn’t give him the time of day, casually walking towards the doors of the dojo. “i expect dinner on the table when i get back out there. you have five minutes.”
the door shut, locking the room in an oppressive silence.
his feet were shaky and unsteady beneath him as he stumbled back onto his legs, patting towards the door.
mikey didn’t meet his eyes when he saw him on his way towards the kitchen, but the sight of tears glistening along the path they dropped off his face set in an emotion raph couldn’t name a light in his chest.
leo glanced at him from the couch, expression blank and untelling. he said nothing, just pursing his lips and looking away from him, a fleeting, subtle look of guilt flashing through his eyes.
the soup was already dished out when he got to the kitchen. the dishes were drying on the rack.
he could have sworn his bowl was more full than it should have been.
he didn’t take the time to linger on the thought as the skittering sound of footsteps hitting the concrete floor bounced off the walls.
the rest of the night passed in a haze. only blurry images whipping through his mind at any chance of recollection he attempted to take.
the mattress under him was ratty and old, but the cotton inside of it provided a familiar comfort as he lay in the dip his body had worn over time.
the day started badly. the lair was warm with sunlight; the food was fresh in the fridge.
but the feeling of grime under his skin was just as present, and it would last far longer than some fucking food.
i don’t know how to write splinter man, all i know is that he’s a piece of shit who craves control cause he lost the control of his own life 😭
uh. ur welcome?
HEY. HEY. LOOK AT ME. WHEN I FINISHED THIS I SAT BACK AND ACTUALLY SCREAMED "AAAH. FUCKK" OUT LOUD. THIS IS. THIS MAKES ME FEEL. AUGHSAUGHAH ??? I HAD TO ILLUSTRATE HOW THIS MADE ME FEEL CAUSE THERE WAS NO BETTER WAY TO DO IT I. I. AUGHHHHHH.
#nnstuff#ask#teenage mutant neglected turtles#neglected fic#FOR REAL THO THIS CAME AT A PERFECT TIME IREALLY NEEDED THIS THANK YOU#csa tw#incest tw#sa tw#child abuse tw#abuse tw#tmnt raph#tmnt splinter#nnart
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After Leo finishes with the debrief and dismisses the group, Mikey is waiting for him just outside the doorway. He's wearing that solemn expression that tells Leo what's wrong before he even opens his mouth.
“Glad you're back safe, Lee.”
Leo pats him on the shoulder, ignoring the bone deep exhaustion that he feels. “Thanks, little brother.”
A few seconds of silence pass between them before Mikey sighs and speaks again.
“I've been trying to pull him out of it, but...” He doesn't elaborate. They both know how Donnie gets when this happens.
Leo closes his eyes for a moment before opening them again.
“How long?”
Mikey looks away, staring at the floor. His response is quiet, almost drowned out by the sounds of distant explosions far, far above them.
“Three days. Hasn't been eating, but I got him to drink something yesterday.”
Leo nods. Swallows.
“I'll take care of it.”
-
The makeshift lab is darker than usual, the familiar notes of that song growing louder in Leo's tympanum as he walks further in. The melody makes his throat tighten, makes his chest ache, and the sight of Donnie doesn't help.
He's sitting at his worktable, random bits of metal scattered about, but he isn't working. He's staring at nothing, hunched forward with his forearms resting on the surface of the table. One hand rubs the lavender mask tied around the other wrist between his fingers. His face is blank, his eyes unfocused, and Leo can see the dark bags under his eyes even through his mask and visor.
The ending notes of the song fade out. There's heavy silence for a moment before it starts again, and Leo forces himself to breathe through the grief that squeezes his lungs like a vice.
Focus on Donnie.
It's been a while since he was this bad, Leo thinks. Donnie doesn't react to the chair he's in being turned. His hands just fall into his lap, still rubbing the lavender fabric between his fingers. He doesn't react to Leo removing his visor, either, or to Leo softly calling his name. It isn't until Leo places his hands over Donnie's own that there's a reaction. Don's breaths stutter, eyes blinking and searching until they finally focus on Leo's face. There's the barest hint of recognition, and Leo tries to smile.
“Leo?” Donnie's voice is a quiet rasp, his tone uncertain in a way that physically hurts to hear. Leo presses on.
“Hey Tello,” he murmurs. “I need you to come eat something, okay?”
Donnie just stares at him. His eyes start to drift, and Leo grips his hands tighter in an attempt to keep him focused. It works, thankfully, Donnie's eyes finding Leo's once again.
“She's gone,” he whispers, looking down at the tiny mask looped around his wrist. “They're… they're both…”
Leo feels his eyes start to burn and pushes down the grief still swelling in his chest. He can't afford to give in to it right now. Not with Donnie like this.
“I know, Tello.” He stands, pulling Donnie's hands until he's standing, as well. The song ends before starting up once more. “Come on, bro. Let's get you something to eat, yeah?”
Donnie doesn't respond, but he lets Leo lead him toward the mess hall and away from the melody that haunts them both.
Leo will make sure to turn it off before he lets Donnie return to the lab.
#me wanting to shoot you but 1) i started it and 2) i literally asked for this#ask tag#symphony tag#not my fic#OOF. HURTS GOOD. LOVE IT THANK YOU
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So you think bayverse Mikey gets insecure about being the shortest/smallest ?
Lol this is so random and you can completely ignore this but it's been in my mind all day and how his brothers would conform him and stuff😭
Huh! You know what! I think you are right and you should say it louder. To be fair I think he has other insecurities as well (and honestly all of them do. Raph, Leo, Donnie. But it's not about them rn).
Brace ya self I am having HC/ opinion and might be speaking outta my ass lol. And oh I am very chaotic with my thoughts so there's that
In Poland we say "it's darkest under the lamppost", which means the most obvious things are hardest to spot. Mikey is perceptive to others emotions but kinda blind to his own until someone points something out. Like
"Mike, why do you keep flying on that board."
To be fair I think the height insecurity easily relates to his other fears. He is the youngest, the smallest. He isn't as smart as Donnie and often says things others find annoying. He doesn't have "a great burden of leadership" like Leo, isn't the big protector like Raph. He is the silly one. He just wants his family together and have fun with them. Be with them. But he sometimes feels worse than them. Smaller than them in both height and purpose.
Maybe it was a mission that went wrong. While the other brothers were trying to run damage control Mikey didn't know what to do? His brothers' backs now so much taller and competent than his own.
I think first to notice something would be April. She is the most inquisitive - pros of being darn good reporter.
She notices how Mikey isn't cracking as many jokes as before. He spends a lot more time up in the pipes, not even flying around just sitting above everyone.
Mikey has always been an open book. He wears his heart and thoughts on his sleeve like 90% of the time. So a gentle push and a smile is all it takes for him to spill his guts and worries to her. Plus, how can he say no to April, his favourite human.
He wished to be taller, like Donnie. He could reach further, maybe go faster. Prevent bad things from happening. Help people better.
April reassures him or tries to and just hopes to get him to talk to his brothers. She promises she would be there with him to provide support. He's also her friend.
So she gets them all together. She gives Mikey the stage and he starts talking. Probably too much because now he's crying and the brothers just group hug him and just remind him of all the times he saved their hides. Yeah he's wild but being their wild card is good. He's so artistic, great at music and what's important he has so much compassion for others and emotions are so easy for him. Being the heart of the family doesn't make him less important. Without him the family is out of whack.
Raph probably remind him how being shorted than him has it perks because Raph can't get through narrow and tight spaces like Mikey can. And he's not as fast as Mikey.
Family isn't being uniform unit. It's their differences that make everyone work so well together - Splinter reminds them to cherish who they are and build each other up because of the differences not inspite of them.
Then Raph grabs Mikey and sits him on his shoulders. He wants to be taller? Then big bro can carry him around.
Special pizza delivery that night ;)
Hope this was something you were looking forward to XD
@turtle-babe83 @leosgirl82 @madammuffins @thelaundrybitch @dilucsflame33 @sharpwindow @pheradream15 @m1dnyt3-w0lf
#tmnt michelangelo#bayverse mikey#bayverse michelangelo#tmnt 2016#tmnt bayverse#tmnt 2014#tmnt#headcanon#eve answers
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RotTMNT | Whumptober 2023 (and I don't give a fuck that it's not October anymore)
Story 1: But now this room is spinning while I'm trying just to fill in all the gaps
Safety Net | Swooning | "How many fingers am I holding up?"
Pt. 1
− Hey, Don-Tron, it's breakfast time! – A clear and indecently cheerful voice for such an early hour came from a speaker near the ceiling of the laboratory. Donnie didn't even have to look at the cameras to figure out who was bothering him at such a time. Exhaling noisily, he commands a mechanical hand to press the microphone button.
− Not hungry, Nardo.
No matter how hard he tries to make his voice less tired, the low volume and blurred sonorous consonants betray the degree of his exhaustion. Donnie's fingers slide over the keyboard, typing more and more new lines of code, and the monitor's light at minimum brightness is reflected in his dark brown eyes. A loud cough coming from outside makes him twitch and frown in displeasure. The camera broadcasting what is happening outside the laboratory shows the same displeased face of his twin.
− Bullshit. – Leo's right leg, not in a cast, hits the metal door. — C'mon, buddy, get out of your dark realm. You've been stuck there forever.
– Fifty−nine hours, – Donatello corrects dryly, but his older brother doesn't hear it.
The tapping of the keys becomes louder and jerkier. Yeah, damn it, he's been sitting here for more than two days, but hasn't been able to get far in creating advanced software for his systems. Among the lines running on the screen, every now and then there was some stupid mistake that makes his teeth grind with displeasure. Donnie tightens his jaw and shakes a head. Blurring appears at the edges of vision for a moment, but it dissipates as soon as the ninja blinks several times in a row. A quick glance at the nearby monitor — Leon is looking directly into the camera, his posture tense and radiating... something not very positive. Well, Donatello was really bad at reading emotions.
− Ignoring me? Okay. — The turtle in the blue mask turns around, the sound of crutches serving as his support beats an uneven dull rhythm. – Starve to death there.
As soon as these words reach his ears, Donnie's stomach reflexively twists into a knot and emits the unpleasant howl of a dying whale. The genius curses and leans his head back on the computer chair. Physiological needs always disappear from his list of tasks as soon as a worthwhile project appears on the horizon. Sometimes he regrets that he has not yet made himself a cyborg who does not need breaks for sleep, meals and the toilet. A broken smile appears on his face when Donatello imagines himself with a shiny chrome body. It seems like the dream of a moody child, so what?
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise donnie#rise leo#disaster twins#whumptober2023#Don't beat me up for machine translation#I'm not English.
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For the prompts you're doing * mf deep inhale * FIC PROMPT! The whole squad going to the mall cuz we NEED it! (03' turtles too, if it's alright and doesn't get to messy to write abt cuz dialogues with big groups are HARD, so it would be understandable ngl ;-;) Everybody needs some shopping tours. Aaaaand perhaps Leon getting lost cuz i'm a sucker for stupid things suddenly happening. I love drama.
I am so sorry with how late this is aaand I did try to get the 2003 boys in there but....it was a lot to balance for something I was trying to keep short so I hope it being Post-The Portal Home is okay!
You do know I know what an interworld market is, right?”
“Clearly you don’t because you call it an ‘interworld market’ instead of a shopping mall,” Leo grumbled.
“That’s what you call a large market with a variety of products from multiple regions! I don’t come up with the names for things…although I guess since Earth hasn’t made contact with other planets it would be an inter-nation market?”
“Shopping center,” Donnie corrected from above. “Or, more commonly, the Mall.”
Chula rolled her eyes fondly, leaping from their current rooftop to the next.
Their new member, however, loudly interjected, “Why would you call a building the maul? That sounds like a terrible idea to get people to restock there.”
“Not ‘maul’, a ‘Mall’!,” Mikey corrected.
“That’s what I said!” Seena protested.
Chula laughed now, hard enough that she had to pause or risk mis-timing her next jump. Seena growled as she ran past, pausing just long enough to smack her shoulder. The blow barely did anything but Chula still reached up to rub the spot and let out a tiny whine.
“I know that didn’t hurt! Cut it out Verd!”
Chula laughed again, louder, before moving again.
It’d been a few days since she and Seena had returned to the boy's dimension. Of course, she and Donnie had gotten to work, making plans to try and track down Astra and the battalion. Since it was obvious that combing each possible reality would take way too much time, Donnie had proposed that they work on the transdimensional communicators and pass them out to the various turtle teams in each reality. When she’d asked why other versions of the brothers he’d gone on…quite a rant that basically boiled down to ‘we attract weird, both versions of ourselves that we’ve met attract weird. Any other versions of us are most likely to bump into a magic space wizard and a ship full of human copies.’
It was the best idea they could come up with that could be done in the relative near future but it meant that trying to look before the communicators were done would be a waste of time. Which meant Chula was stuck waiting for that near future to become the present.
And while she’d tried not to mope around too much…one of the boys must have noticed.
She suspected that was why Raph had proposed this outing. She suspected that it was actually a group idea to try and keep her spirits up and to introduce Seena to more Earth stuff.
So, they were breaking into a ‘shopping mall’.
And apparently, shopping malls on Earth were contained in large buildings.
“Why would it be inside?” Seena asked as they peered down at it.
“Where else would it be?” Raph asked.
“Outdoors.”
“Why would you want to shop outside?” Leo said as he pulled out a katana. “Sounds weird.”
“Your planet is the weird one.”
“Children, let us remember that we’re from different realities,” Chula said as she moved away from the roof edge and waited for the portal to be opened.
“...still weird,” Seena muttered.
Her comment went ignored as Leo opened a portal and all the boys hurried to push Chula and Seena through. Leo bounded in last, sweeping his arms wide in a showmen-like gesture, “Ladies, welcome to the Queen’s Place Mall! Our go-to hotspot for all the latest fashions, food and learn valuable lessons about multitasking and prioritizing!”
“Wha-”
“Just roll with it,” Chula cut Seena off before she could finish the question.
The other boys were already chattering over each other, trying to pull the pair of aliens in every direction as they pointed out storefronts and the food court and Chula picked up Raph mentioning an indoor public gym that he liked to frequent.
Chula chanced a glance to Seena, snorting when she saw how lost her friend was in the middle of the kids' excitement. But she was letting Donnie and Mikey tug her along, stiffly nodding as they pointed out what looked to be a clothing store, so Chula wasn’t that worried.
She turned to Leo, grinning broadly, “She’s goin’ to be comin’ back in a completely new getup, isn’t she?”
“A good chunk of the plan for this was to get her a new fit,” Leo admitted breezily. “Seriously, does everyone in your reality just have the one outfit they wear all the time?”
Chula frowned, “I’m literally wearing a second outfit to what I normally wear.”
“And no offense, but this getup looks like you just snagged it outta a thrift store because you needed a change real quick.”
“Leo!” Raph chastised.
Chula just shrugged. Because Leo wasn’t entirely wrong in his assessment of how she got her ‘casual’ attire.
Leo led the way, taking Chula to another clothing shop. She expected him to open another portal to get past the gate covering the entrance but instead he dropped into a crouch and whipped out a lockpick set from his belt, “Watch and be amazed.”
Chula hummed but let her eyes roam around. The main bulk of the building was a large open area covered in shiny tiles and polished wood. She could see various little stands scattered around and further away a water feature stood as a centerpiece. Above their heads were walkways for a second floor, probably a copy of the first. She absently wondered if this was what the markets on Courcsaunt looked like, perhaps they could bring Astra here and ask when they found her.
The metal gate made a rattling sound and Chula looked back to see Leo swinging open the shop door. She followed both the boys in, eyes scanning again at the new space.
There was….quite a lot of clothing. And accessories and flashy trinkets scattered everywhere.
“Earth doesn’t skimp on the variety, does it?”
“People like to have a lot of choices,” Raph said. “And this one is one of my favorites. They have a lot of plus size options.”
“Which means we can find something in your taste without going to a mens section!”
“Thank Ashla for that,” Chula chuckled. “What are you pullin’ out back there?”
“Oh, just some options,” Leo circled around another rack and out of view. “You are getting the full Earth experience with this!”
Raph wandered off as well, browsing the racks absently. And with nothing better to do, Chula went in another direction to look around.
It really was quite fascinating to see how many different things this one shop had. Granted, for all she knew, the Core Worlds back home were much the same but she’d tended to avoid anything beyond Mid-Rim. And most of the shops and markets tended to only have a handful of things unique to the individual vendors.
But it seemed Earth locals liked having as many choices as possible in one place. Chula would bet her slug-thrower that every other shop and stand in the mall had just as much variety available.
She looked around the racks surrounding her, taking in the bright colors, intricate designs, layers and layers of fabric-
Her eye spotted something bright blue with rainbow accents.
Curious, she wiggled it out from between the other bright colored clothing around it. And smirked when she realized what it was.
Leo and Raph were finding things for her, she saw no reason not to return the favor.
—------------------------
“Have fun?”
Seena sent Chula a seething look. She was carrying her normal armor and wearing a dark gray jacket over a white top and loose pants that matched the jacket, “Seems I’m not the only one.”
Chula chuckled, grabbing the skirt of her new flower printed dress and flapping it dramatically, “Leo has excellent taste.”
“Then why is he dressed up in a Quarf jumpsuit?”
Chula glanced back at Leo, happily showing off the clothing Chula had found for him to his brothers, “He said it’s called a unicorn onesie.”
“Whatever. Did all of this at least cheer you up?”
Chula’s grin became softer as her hand smoothed over the silky fabric of her new ensemble, “Yeah. I think I needed this.”
“Thank Force for that then. I never want to have a ‘makeover’ with those two again.”
“Says the woman wearing that makeover.”
“Shut it Verd.”
Both pause for a moment as the group started moving towards the exit.
Then Seena spoke again, “Sooo, we’re just straight up robbing this place?”
“Donnie said he’d leave money. Non-humans aren’t really…widely accepted on Earth.”
“Ah….so why do you want to live here again?”
Chula grinned, looking back towards the boys just in time to see three of them climbing up Raph, “The company makes up for the need to hide.”
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Frostbite (Casetello)
AN: do these two have a ship name? Caseytello? eh whatever it’s casey x donnie and they’re gay
special thanks to cal for reading this for me and saying i should post it <3
There were quite a lot of things Casey Jones loved. Hockey, pizza, riding his motorcycle, video games, beating the crap out of his opponents. Normal teenage stuff. Lately he had been doing the latter, ever since he and April officially joined the 'Unofficial Turtles Team' , helping alongside the teen mutants on patrol. Goofing off with Mikey and Raph were the highlights, but he couldn't deny spending extra time with April was also a benefit. Even if they barely got a single word out- too busy fighting off random mutants scattering the city, it was still nice.
But what wasn't nice, downright unpleasant about patrol...was Donatello. There was an unspoken, mutual loathing that the pair shared that even quick glances at each other led to glaring and arguing. Leaving them together in the same room was never a good idea. Casey hasn't understood why the purple genius was so hostile towards him at first. But the reasons became obvious the first time he caught him staring helplessly at April, fumbling his words and blushing profusely. Not that Casey didn't feel similarly, heck, that was the problem. Both were attracted to April. Obviously Casey had the upper hand, being human. A turtle and a human girl in a relationship was built for disaster.
But their hatred didn't stop there. It wasn't just about April. Eventually, everything about Donatello annoyed him. His whiny voice, his love for using complicated words to sound superior, soon every little thing bugged him.
Things were easier if the two stayed as far apart as possible.
Of course, fate seemed to work in mysterious ways.
It was starting to get late, the moonlight illuminating the sky. The group stopped on a rooftop, perched by the edge. Leo halted them silently, then turned around.
"Why'd you stop, Fearless?" Raph asked.
"I think we should split up. We'll cover more ground. If you see any sign of trouble, use your T-Phones." said Leo.
"No way dudes!" Mikey squeaked. "I saw this scary movie last night where the team split up! And then..." He paused for dramatic effect. "They all got taken out one by one. Starting with the cute funny one!" He trembled, hiding behind Donnie, who rolled his eyes.
Raph smirked, always prepared for a sassy remark. "Which means, you'll be just fine since you're neither of those."
"Hey!"
"And you'll be in pairs." Leo crossed his arms. "I've got it all planned out. Raph and April. Mikey and me."
"Mikey and I." Donnie corrected under his breath. Casey fought the urge to whack the smart aleck turtle with his hockey stick.
Leo ignored him. "Donnie and Casey-"
Casey involuntary let out a loud groan. Just his luck.
Leo narrowed his blue eyes, unamused. "Something wrong, Jones?"
"Er..." His eyes darted to Donatello, who seemed stoic, but equally frustrated with this predicament. On one hand, he wanted to argue and beg to be with literally anyone else. On the other, he didn't want to deal with the leader in blue getting annoyed with him. "Nah Leo, that's fine by me. Right, D?"
Donnie huffed. "Yeah, that's alright."
"I think this will be good for you both." April grinned.
"Of course, April." Donnie agreed.
"No problem at all." Casey smiled through gritted teeth. When she turned away, they both shared an equally menacing glare.
"I knew I could count on you two." April smiled softly, though even she didn't look entirely convinced.
This was going to be a long night.
~•~
Turns out, Casey had underestimated the scrawny (ugh, svelte) turtle. In what Donnie lacked in muscle, he gained with his speed, mobility and of course, his mind. It was practically impossible to keep up once Donatello had leaped from the first building, tumbling and landing with ease, while Casey was coughing his lungs out as he ran desperately after the brainy terrapin.
"Okay, now you're just showing off." He panted irritably, nearly collapsing once he finally caught up with him.
"Are you coming or not?" Donnie gave his trademark gap tooth grin as he turned, slowing down.
"I am! You're just moving too fast!" Casey complained. "I thought turtles were supposed to be slow! I didn't even have time to get my grappling hook."
Donnie shrugged, ending the conversation with one simple movement.
They walked side by side, neither wanting to say anything. They both knew it would only end in arguing.
"Can I just say-" Casey started.
"No, you can't."
"I didn't say anything!"
"Exactly."
"Listen, Gap Tooth, I don't like this either!" He flicked a stone off the roof with his shoe. "But we have to ..." He swallowed. "work together, right?"
Donnie said nothing. He looked deep in thought.
"Is it because of April? Because it's not my fault she...y'know likes me more."
At the mention of April, Donnie turned away, eyes flashed with hurt, which only filled Casey with that annoying feeling of guilt.
"It isn't about her."
"Alright." Silence. "Sorry, let's just-" He cleared his throat. "Let's just work together, we don't need to be friends. Just get through the mission. After that, we can go back to hating each other."
"That was...surprisingly mature, Jones. Glad we can agree on something." Donnie quipped. "And for once, you're right. This mission is more important than our petty squabbles. No matter how insufferable you may be."
"Now you're just making up words."
Donnie fought the urge to roll his eyes. "So, that's two more hours of this."
Casey scoffed, but couldn't help but chuckle. Quietly of course. Last thing he wanted was for Donnie to think he was actually amusing.
"So...deal?"
"Deal." Donnie said, then added: "Cave Mouth." Which made Casey shove him lightly.
For a brief moment, they seemed to share a mutual understanding. The silence that followed wasn't awkward or forced, it was comfortable. Well, as comfortable as they could possibly be.
Donnie paused, startled by something. Lifting his bō carefully, he tried to follow whatever the sound was.
"What the-" Casey raised an eyebrow.
"Shh!" He hissed. "Do you hear that?"
"No?" Casey scrunched his nose, listening closely. It sounded like a...buzzing noise? Like a fly or mosquito. Irritating, but not dangerous. "Chill Don, it's just a bug or something."
"No, listen!" The turtle looked frantic and alert.
The buzzing became louder. Then, it was followed by the sound of snapping wood. Deliberate and exact. Casey gulped, taking his own weapon.
A massive shadow flew over their heads and landed in front of them. Donnie yelped in surprise, stumbling forward.
"Ah, shell." He swore, lifting his head to face the hideous insectoid mutant with acid green eyes. Scumbug spread his deformed wings, antenayes raised, prepared to strike.
"Well, I was right. That definitely is a bug. Scumbug! Wicked! This'll be fun!" Casey sneered.
"Which makes no sense, considering stag beetles aren't even bugs! They're insects!" Donnie spun his staff like a propeller, hitting the mutant face on.
"Not the time!" Casey tackled Scumbug, who roared, jostling him aside like a ragdoll. He smacked the floor with a sickening thud, directly on his arm. He fought back a scream of agony. "Do you- gah- seriously have to be such a know it all, all the time?" He looked at his arm, which currently looked seriously messed up.
Donnie looked affronted. "I am not a know it all!"
"Yes you are!" Another whack of his trusty hockey stick, followed by a knock to the ground, face first. He wiped his mouth from the metallic taste of blood.
"No I'm not!"
"Yes you- Donnie, look out!" Casey shrieked, sounding less manly than he intended.
Scumbug, now furious, had efficiently used his enemies' bickering to his advantage. Before he could turn around, a spider web twirled from its appendages binding Donatello to the ground, who kicked and struggled furiously.
The mutant now crouched over the captured turtle, prepared to strike with his signature acid spit.
"Hang on, D! Casey Jones is here to save the day! GOONGALA!" He bellowed, racing towards Scumbug and latching onto him like a demented parasite. It was hardly the most graceful of moves, but it distracted him briefly.
He raised his hockey stick, poking him hard in the eye in an attempt to gouge them. Eyes were sensitive- he remembered Splinter telling him that.
With the extra time, Donnie reached for his bō, ripping the web apart with the extended naginata blade.
Scumbug, now looking more disheveled and horrifically disfigured than normal, retreated blindly into the misty air.
"I didn't need your help." Donnie said bitterly.
"Aw, is that any way to say thank you?" Casey retorted. "I just saved your shell." He poked his plastron roughly. "I think I deserve a little appreciation for my heroism."
"I had it handled."
"Did you? Because you looked just about ready to be eaten by Scumbug."
Donatello scowled, moving closer. "And he got away. So your heroism didn't exactly work, did it?"
"Would you rather have acid stuck to your face?" Casey growled. "You'd look even freakier than you do now. Next time you're a little 'turtle in distress' don't expect me to come save your-"
"I didn't need saving." Their foreheads pressed together, any moment ready to face each other on.
Casey gritted his teeth. "Sure, whatever you say. I didn't help because I actually cared about you or anything."
"Then why did you?" Donnie snapped, pulling away. "You could have left me."
"Because I- you- argh!" Casey felt his temper rising. "Because I'm not a monster, alright? We're a team, and we help each other. That's the deal." He wiped his chapped lips again, the disgusting taste of blood still lingering. He winced, clutching his arm.
"I can patch you up at the lair." Donnie said softly. "It just looks sprained."
"Mm." Casey grumbled, still pissed. Stubbornness was taking over any injury he had. He'd rather have his arm stay at this awkward angle than admit he was hurt in front of his rival. "I'll just wrap it up at home. I'll be fine."
Donnie sighed, raising his palm to his face. "Don't be so stubborn, I can help you."
Casey didn't look convinced.
"To repay the favor?" His warm brown eyes looked surprisingly sincere. "You did help me, after all. I'd probably be toast if you didn't."
Casey snorted. "You got that right."
A beat. Donnie looked unsure, as if he wanted to say something else. But whatever it was, it was holding him back.
"So...we should go back to the lair then?" Casey suggested, easing the awkwardness.
"Huh? Yes, of course. Totally. " Donnie nodded. "Naturally."
"Alright then."
"Jones?"
Casey turned, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah?"
"I just wanted to say...thanks."
"Hey, no problem. But don't tell anyone I saved your ass."
"Deal."
~•~
Casey never expected to be sitting in Donnie's lab table, in between Timothy the blob-organ filled mutant and several bunsen burners, but life tended to be weird that way. He also didn’t expect to be pouting on said table like he was at some freaky doctor’s office. The rest of the team returned shortly after them, and seemed surprised that Donnie was actually willing to fix Casey's arm- and not begrudgingly.
Donnie returned with a first aid kit, setting it on the table. He hummed a familiar tune to himself, as if to fill the empty air of any more awkwardness.
"I've seen these before." Casey said, poking the bunsen burner tap, immediately then swatted away by Donatello. "At my school's science lab."
Donnie nodded, rolling up Casey's sleeve to examine his bare arm. Casey flinched, not comfortable with the random act of touching. "Hey don't!"
"Do you want your arm fixed or not?"
"...yeah."
"Then let me work my magic."
Casey frowned, staring at the bottle the turtle was holding. "Your magic looks like antibiotics and advil."
Donnie's lip twitched.
After his arm was treated somewhat, Donnie wrapped him up gently with a clean bandage. The slow movement made his heart race increase every time Donnie's fingertips brushed his arm, but he ignored it.
Don't be weird, Jones.
"That should be good. Don't put any pressure on it." said Donnie, passing him the advil. "And take this, it'll soothe the pain."
Casey pretended to look offended. "Here I thought you were gonna kiss it better."
Donnie rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. "Don't push it, Jones. We aren't there yet."
Casey laughed. "Yet. Thanks for fixin' my arm, D. You...aren't so bad, I guess. But let's go back to hating each other, alright?"
Donnie smirked. "Whatever you say."
#tmnt#teenage muant ninja turtles#donatello#casey jones#caseytello#casetello#do they even have a ship name#enemies to lovers#rivals to lovers#fanfic#tmnt 2012#i miss them#author is sleep deprived#jonestello#is that their ship name?#they're gay your honor
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Into the night.
A/N: You should read the post before this to get an understanding of this AU. Fair warning, this is pretty long. Enjoy! ���
Disclaimer: mention of child abuse ahead. Be warned!
Cold. Merciless. Dangerous. Mysterious.
They were the only words that many used to describe the Hamato Clan. No one wanted to mess with them in fear of what they would do, countless stories were told of those who had double crossed them and in result, hadn’t lived to see the next day. The most feared gang caught in a dark and ruthless world of crime, violence, blood and lust. Others wanted their wealth and power but not everything is what it seemed to be.
The cold breeze hit Leonardo’s face, as he gulped down air quickly into his lungs. He was sure those horrid nightmares would have stopped, it had been almost 11 years for God’s sake. Cursing under his breath, he knocked down the tub of medication which rattled on the floor. The view of New York was beautiful from all the way up here and as frantically as he tried to focus on it, those poisonous thoughts blazed through his mind and he had no power to control it.
“Father please don’t leave again” The young teen cried, trailing helplessly after the rat who swore angrily. Being only 13, he wasn’t able to grab those supplies that his brothers needed. They were forced to rely on Splinter but he would hardly help them. They were lucky if he even brought down the bare necessities for them to survive on.
“How many times do I have to tell you leave me alone?! Enough!” Splinter growled, loosening his tie as he made his way to the sewers steps. But Leo had to try for his brothers, he couldn’t look at their pain anymore. He couldn’t go back empty handed, to witness Raphael put up a brave front despite actively bleeding and bruised practically everywhere on his frail body. He couldn’t see Donnie on the verge of another panic attack because he didn’t know how to fix them. He couldn’t bear to see Mikey trying to hold it all together but breaking down in the bathroom , when he thought nobody was listening because he couldn’t live in this nightmare.
“R-Raph is hurt and we don’t have any more bandages” Leo spoke timidly, trying to sound clear and confident but his voice trembled. Splinter stood still and the turtle could already smell the sour whiskey from his clothes. It had been a bad day, he presumed. Whiskey was only drunk whenever a loss was incurred. And that usually meant he wouldn’t be home for days, much o the turtle’s pleasure.
“What have I said about speaking back?!” Splinter bellowed, his arm whacking Leo backwards until his shell hit the tunnel. The side of his shell had already been damaged due to constantly training day and night to perfect the routine Splinter had set them. But an audible crack had been heard and a small gasp left his lips, already seeing a trickle of blood roll down his skin staining the previous bandages. He hadn’t even time to register the pain until Splinter loomed over his body, his eyes black and dangerous.
“Father I’m-” Leo’s breath hitched in his throat, tears prickling his eyes painfully watching his hand raise slowly. ‘Not again, please not again’
“You’re absolutely hopeless, you hear me?!” Again Splinter punched the turtle, laughing each time when the terrapin recoiled in pain. Leonardo held his tongue, scared to further anger the drunken rat. Every slap, punch and kick was taken without a sound because the punishment for wincing was double the amount than the beating now. And he wasn’t so sure his shell could take anymore.
“Look at you! You expect to take on my legacy acting like a pathetic little girl?! Get out of my sight before I finish you” With one swift punch to Leo’s jaw, Splinter left to go topside. He could hear his evil voice cackle on the phone to one of his partners in this mysterious business he refused to utter a word about.
“Why do you hit us so much? What did we ever do to you?” Leo sobbed quietly, curling into a little ball on the floor. The punch on his plastron seared throughout his body, burning in hot white pain. Yet it must be nothing compared to what his brothers were going through. They were awaiting Leo but the eldest could barely move, let alone walk to their home.
Home, usually described at being comforting and loving but he hadn’t felt any of these emotions since they moved in. He used to yearn for a mother to come and take their pain away but as he grew, that dream slowly died as hope in him also began to wither.
Maybe one day things would be different...
---
Blaring traffic shocked the turtle out of his trance and with a shuddering breath, he took several deep breaths. He l
“Why must I be reminded of such memories?” Leonardo sighed, his hand drifting over his temple to soothe the dull ache. No matter how long it had been, the wound from his past was still fresh. They say time healed all pain so why did his still hurt? Some nights it was bearable and some nights it felt like he was being suffocated in his mind, slowly driving insane.
Physical pain definitely was a lot more tolerable than verbal, even now he could still hear the echo of Splinter’s voice reprimanding him whenever he failed. Those stabbing words ringing louder and louder in his ears, berating him for being stupid and weak. Laughing at how his ridiculous attempt of leading a team. Leonardo never wanted anything more than to make Splinter proud but during his years, he realised that it was never going to happen.
Splinter only cared for himself and Leo, along with his brothers, were merely pawns in his cruel game.
But now was not the time to dwell on these matters, things had to be done and completed. His phone rang jarring him out of his thoughts and he picked it up rather reluctantly.
“What is it, Silas?” His assistant/companion spoke quickly, picking up the disinterest in Leo’s voice. He was never one for sugarcoating his feelings or emotions, if the boss wanted something done it was pronto.
“Beast is requesting dinner with capo and the mob. Your presence is required, sir” Holding his urge to groan, the turtle glanced down at the lights that decorated the buildings of New York. They were so beautiful but he couldn’t even take the time to appreciate it, reality had called and with great reluctance he had to answer.
Beast... what was there to say? He was a snob, ignorant, extremely wealthy but lacked any common sense or values. Leo’s patience was practically non existent whenever he communicated with him. While he provided a great reference for other business partners, Beast himself was on thin ice with the brothers.
“Dinner at... 1am?” Leo scowled, looking at his watch. Beast, while had been an average business partner, had constant demands and ideas that were completely absurd. The brothers were tiring of his constant requests and awful timing.
“I did not suggest the convocation at this late sir” The assistant began but Leo interrupted him, wanting to end this conversation.
“Be that as it may, unfortunately I cannot attend. Cancel my plans for tonight, I have a reconciliation to attend to and the conference will take up most my time” He ordered, observing the bonsai trees that stood on the balcony. One thing he grew to adore was his plants, they were simple and with enough care and love, blossomed into something gorgeous.
“I don’t think Beast will be pleased with the rejection. He only wants a few words with the mob and especially you, Capo” Silas tried to reason but the terrapin was adamant.
“Enough. Reschedule this meeting tomorrow at 11pm sharp. Am I understood?” Leo commanded and Silas nodded, already writing it down in his notepad.
“Crystal. Enjoy your night sir” ‘Unlikely’... Hanging up, the blue cladded turtle inhaled a deep breath to collect his thoughts. Cancelling the meeting is a mistake but there were bigger fish to fry tonight. Other duties lay heavy on his mind and with a turn of his heel, he left his safe haven.
As he entered his room, a young woman appeared at his door. Her heels echoed on the polished marble floors, grinding on his last nerve. God he really didn’t want to deal with her right in this moment. Her eyes settled on his and her face lifted into a small smile, one he did not mirror back.
“Katherine, what brings you to my quarters? Surely you’re old enough to understand you cannot barge in whenever you please” Leonardo watched as the young woman quickly stepped back, picking up the heavy discomfort that lay in the air.
“My apologies Leonardo. It’s Raphael, he said that you guys are attending a conference tonight but it’s our 3 month-”
“I fail to understand how this is my problem” He was quick in letting her know, he hadn’t the time to listen to her. Truth be told, he would never understand why Raphael stuck with her. She caused more pain and grief than anything to him.
“Okay... but could you tell me at least why?” She cocked her head and Leo turned, his face set in a hard frown.
“That is between me and my brothers Katherine. I do not appreciate when people interfere in my business. That much should be painfully obvious” His tone was calm but the harsh voice was clearly heard.
Opening his cupboard door, the small picture of Eva caught his eye. A small pang of sadness washed over his body before getting a grip on himself, refusing himself to succumb to the weakness. Eva was the past yet it seemed no matter how long the years had gone by, the yearn was as strong as ever. He wondered if he would ever be free from the shackles around his heart that locked tightly in his chest.
He had to accept that no matter how much he hoped on a wishing star or to the sky, she simply was not coming back. On the side showed a glass mirror, outlining all the features on his face. Sleep hadn’t come to the turtle much recently, he was lucky to get 4 hours and that was on a good day.
“You know you can just call me Kiki like everyone else” She raised her brow as he grabbed his navy blue velvet suit, the unreadable facial expression plastered on his face while his dark sapphire eyes burned into hers. Still standing at the doorway, she felt almost scared of him. Despite being with his brother for around 8 years, she never felt like she knew Leo. No one did, he kept to himself and only showed his true colours to those he cared about.
“Katherine, if that is all you have come to say then I highly suggest you leave me be now. It would not bode well for you to overstep your boundaries” With an almost snarl, he walked forwards and closed his door.
---
“Would you like some champagne, Mr Hamato? It’s the one you specifically requested, Dom Pérignon” The waiter asked and Leo nodded his head, flicking through the newspapers as he awaited the rest of his brothers to join him. This meeting was better suited to the office, he didn’t need any extra ears or eyes to listen in on the information discussed between them.
“God, I need a drink” He could hear the brute’s voice carry through the halls and into the meeting room.
“Right away boss” Greyson, his assistant spoke and vanished to make his preferred alcoholic beverage.
“What is the occasion, dear brother? As much as I like to spend time with you, I’m assuming you haven’t called us for fun” Donnie sat down, his ankle resting on top of his thigh as his attention diverted to his brother. Delicately folding the papers up and placing them to the side, Leo eyed his younger brother with a smirk.
“Always straight to the point Donatello. And you’d be correct, I’ve called this meeting to discuss our next steps” He spoke authoritatively as the turtles settled in their seats, glancing at the board which held ideas and secret plans.
“Did ya cancel tha meetin’ with Beast tonight?” Raph asked, eyes skimming at the tablet. That was very unlikely of the leader, he was the one always nagging to keep up with business meetings and such.
“Yes, I’ll be damned if I have to listen to another lie of his again. He cannot speak clearly and I have no time for beating around the bush. Once we’re done with this proposal, it will be a big relief to have him off our backs” Leo sipped his wine, flicking through his notes. A few names picked up but on the whole, everything seemed relatively calm. But there was no resting, they couldn’t afford not to be on their guard. Trouble was brewing on the horizon, he could feel it in his body.
“Fuck sake, how many times do I have to tell you I hate when you organise my notes like this” Mikey sighed irritably as his brothers smirked, looking at each other with amusement.
It was a running joke that Mikey couldn’t hold an assistant down for more than 2 months. Perhaps it was his picky way of being organised or that he had a short temper and hated his things being out of place, they didn’t know. This new assistant fumbled with the drinks, paling as his boss shouted his displeasure.
“What happened to Donetti Licata?” Donatello asked, chuckling at his younger brother expecting another childish story about organisation as it as had been the story before.
“Fired him. Caught him screwing Mia in my bed. Which reminds me I really need to employ someone who actually has a working braincell” Mikey spoke nonchalantly while his brothers looked at each other wide eyed.
“Oh... shit. M’sorry Mike, that must’ve been hard” Raph murmured, surprised at how well his little brother was taking the whole thing. Almost... too well in his opinion. Amelia had been the light of his life, his love at one point. They both brought out the best in each other but perhaps it was simply a mirage to the toxicity that lay just under the surface.
She wasn’t the Amelia he fell in love with and as he came to grips with that, the idea of losing her forever felt absolutely scary to him. He tried everything to put their relationship on track but it was Amelia who refused to partake in anything.
“Hmm? Oh.. yeah. It was tolerable once I beat the shit out of him. I can’t ever believe I trusted the fucker....” Mikey leaned back on his chair as another glass of wine was placed in front of him. Yet the lump in his throat felt unmovable, rendering him breathless.
“Don’t tell me ya still wit’ her Mike. Yer deserve better than that” Raphael’s hand ached to knock some sense into the terrapin. Even if she would countlessly cheat on him, which she probably had done, all she had to do was flutter her lashes and sweet talk him. And just like that Mikey would forgive her in that second. In his eyes, Mia could do no wrong. She had Mikey on a leash but of course, he was oblivious to it all.
“You still with Kiki?” Mikey retorted, venom in his words while his eyes glared at his brother. Raphael’s frown deepened, holding his gaze. While he knew it was in the heat of the moment, he wished Mikey could see the damage Amelia was doing to him. Kiki was different only because Raph knew her past, knew that she was damaged too. How could he, of all people, leave her hanging alone?
“Children, behave. What do we do about these last few payments? I’ve talked to Xavier and he’s saying Gomez hasn’t responded to anything. It’s high time we pay a special visit, he’s got to know who exactly he’s messing with here” Donnie rolled his eyes at the quarrel and adjusted his glasses, raising them closer to his eyes. Leonardo seemed to be in deep thought for a few seconds before looking at his family again.
“If that’s the case then I want you and Mikey to check it out tomorrow. Me and Raph will deal with Beast, we all know how dramatic he likes to get when he doesn’t get his way” They all knew the last time they messed with Beast, how he threatened to take his money away and leave them bankrupt. Regardless of his filthy money, the turtles were not affected without it.
Years of investing and saving up had allowed them to live luxuriously. They had everything they ever wanted, Beast was just a liability to them. They needed him to increase potential business partners. To be able to stay at the top, they needed to associate with people at the top. If that meant doing business with idiots who couldn’t hold their ground and lacked any sense of morals and values, then so be it.
This was the mafia, after all. Nothing was pretty here.
“He’s clearly trying to inherit the property, why not just kill him altogether” Mikey pointed out, leaning back on his chair but Leo shook his head.
“Too risky. He may be a fool but he’s a smart one. He has plenty of connections with others, much powerful than the ones we have. We’ll keep him on the side but don’t turn your eyes, he will strike when least expected. Once we secure this deal, you can unleash all your anger on him. For now, we stay in his good books. However long that may be” He grimaced at the thought of the meeting they were supposed to have instead of this one. How long the turtle brothers would remain on his good side was unknown but hey, only a few more months of his bullshit and it was home run. The brothers continued to talk about upcoming events and nearing the end of the meeting, they all grabbed their belongings.
“Wait a sec, Amara’s coming here tomorrow?” Mikey read out the small note on the board and Leo nodded, finishing off his wine.
“Yes, well technically she’s visiting but we needed some help around here and she agreed to stick around for a while” She was a close friend to the turtles, meeting them after they newly escaped Splinter’s clutches. She had found them at a time when they were barely breathing and even without knowing who they were, she nursed them back to health. They all were indebted to her. Throughout the years, she went back to Italy since her father was part of their own mafia but her loyalty to the turtles never wavered.
“At least we get ta see a new face ‘round here. But goin’ back ta before, I can’t wait ta finally kill that bastard” Raphael cracked his knuckles, unbuttoning his vest. He never was one to take orders from people, he was incredibly stubborn and arrogant to take commands from someone else. He barely followed Leo’s on a good day, let alone someone who continually threatened him and his family. If it were up-to him, he would have Beast’s head on a silver platter and sent directly to his team
“All in due time brother. For now, let’s focus on getting our money back and dealing with Beast”
#tmnt mafia!turtles#tmnt mafia!leonardo#tmnt mafia!raphael#tmnt mafia!donatello#tmnt mafia!michelangelo
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Some BakuIida as requested by @donnie-with-a-cup-of-coffee !! This took forever because I couldn't decide if they were going to kiss or not :') but it's finally here like a while month or so later and I'm sorry about that delay. I hope you still enjoy <3
• Adrenaline Rush •
Cw// foul language
. . .
"Glasses." Bakugo snapped from his place in the common room. Legs drawn up to cross in an improper fashion but Tenya supposed it was better than his previous position with his feet up on the table. His note book pulled into the bowl of his lap, Crimsion eyes glaring at the others in the room.
"Yes Bakugo?" Iida hummed, his own navy hues clashing with the blond's. A dying sun over the ocean, his grip on the small borrowed book in his hand increasing.
"Let's go, these idiots are too loud." Bakugo scoffed, ignoring the indignant whine that left Kirishima and Kaminari's mouths. They were sat against each other on the floor, bright colours flashing across the screen in a racing game they'd been yelling over for nearly an hour.
"Alright." Tenya said stiffly, the warm feeling he always associated with Bakugo's attention tingling through his limbs.
It had been an odd feeling to be on the receiving side of Bakugo's harsh affection. His words still cutting but his eyes relaxed in a playful manner, one that expected the energy to be returned. Something Tenya struggled to do, his clipped speech and perfected mannerisms hard to over come.
"I stole a pair of your shoes the other day, they're under my bed let's go." Bakugo breathed out in a whisper like tone.
"Bakugo, we are not allowed-"
"Cut the bullshit Glasses, we aren't going far. Just the track." Bakugo snarled pulling on his own shoes and the jacket Tenya assumed he must have taken when he also took the shoes. The relaxed fabric swallowing his narrower shoulders.
"The track?" Iida repeated, that warm feeling bubbling up stronger than before at the sight of the other. They'd never discussed it before, Katsuki's tendency to cling to Tenya's personal items, quickly snatching them back after Iida had them washed. Nor had they ever brought up the warmth that spread across their skin like sunlight in the summer. It was an odd dance of give and take.
"That's what I said. Let's fucking go already." Bakugo had already thrown open his balcony doors, the soft crackling in his palms growing louder as he threw himself in the direction of the ground.
"Why do we never take the front door. Cerfew isn't even for another few hours." Tenya grumbled, his own leap over the balcony much more precise to insure his joints were protected in the landing that was always too heavy.
"Tch." Bakugo snarled, his face screwed up in a way to intimidate others but over time it had struck Iida is endearing. He kept the feeling sealed away in his chest, afraid of the reaction it would spark in the other. His protests were always short lived on nights like this, where the blood was still pounding in his ears from the leap and Bakugo was already sprinting towards his destination.
"No fucking quirks"
The first thing that tumbled from Bakugo's mouth the first night they'd done this. His eyes adverted and his fists clenching and unclenching with soft crackles of light. Maybe it was seeing Katsuki embarrassed in the privacy of his own dorm that started the spiral of Tenya's thoughts.
"Come on dumbass." Bakugo taunted already too far ahead, a feral smile pulled over his features.
"Yes of course." Iida laughed to himself before he was well on his way, his body built for running, quirk or not. Iida had pushed his body to the physical limits so his quirk could do the same.
Katsuki had never won this race, but he always did a little better each time. His chest rising and falling too fast as he bent over his knees, red faced and sputtering half hearted curses. Tenya adjusted his glasses, a soothing hand on the blond's back and a water he'd snagged from Katsuki's night stand at the last second.
"Thanks." Bakugo spat, sipping the water between heaves of air.
He grinned when he stood again, pink tongue darting out over straightened teeth a feral display that stole Tenya's breath away and set fire to the butterflies humming peacefully in his chest.
"Of course." Iida breathed through clenched teeth, eyes cast to the side as he adjusted his glasses and ran a hand through his wind tossed hair to smooth it back out.
Bakugo shed himself of Iida's jacket and left it in a partially folded pile by the mostly empty water bottle as he moved to stretch out his legs.
Tenya had come to associate Bakugo with the uncomfortable thudding of adrenaline in his chest. The burning feeling that crawled up his throat and demanded to be let free in the form of fond words and gentle touches. But he'd come to know the blond quite well and he'd seen the angry scowls when Kirishima or Kaminari got too close. He had no right to receive a different response.
"What's your problem anyway four eyes?" Katsuki growled half heartedly from where he sat, legs stretched in front of him and nimble fingers pulling at his toes.
"I'm sorry?" Tenya hummed back from where he was mimicking the pose.
"You've been fucking weird." Bakugo sat up straight, his vermilion glare locking iida in his place, "Not that I fucking care or anything, but I don't want to train with a loser. Bad enough you're friends with the damn nerd."
It pulled a laugh from the depths of Iida's lungs. His shoulders shook with the effort and a hand clamped over his mouth to try and stifle the sound. The soft blush that covered Katsuki's nose in the setting sun was breath taking and his childish behavior amusing.
"That's not a nice thing to call Midoriya." He scolded it partially, "But thank you for asking, I'm alright."
"Good, I don't like comforting people or whatever, but if you need to say anything I could fucking listen I guess." Katsuki was stubbornly looking anywhere but the smiling face of Tenya Iida.
"Thank you, Bakugo." Iida hummed, "We're friends, and I'll listen to you too."
"I don't have fucking friends." Bakugo sputtered, his crackling palms face down against the grass by the track, trying to keep a lid on everything that was trying to claw itself free.
"Of course." Tenya laughed softly, "But I consider you my friend."
"Tch, whatever nerd." Katsuki snarled finally standing and making his way to the marked starting line on the track. His shoulder bumping against Iida's side in a way to say he was just flustered, not angry.
"Are you ready then?" Iida hummed, locked in a running position patiently waiting for the other.
"Damn straight. And I'm going to win." Katsuki barked, his eyes locked forward.
He was glowing in the setting sun. His hair like a halo around him and vermilion eyes alive with adrenaline and determination. Ethereal. The word echoed in Tenya's head like the beat of a drum and he struggled to lock it away like he did with all his strong feelings twords Katsuki.
"Go." Bakugo shouted as he took off down the track.
He wasn't meant for running at the speeds Iida could achieve but he was getting there and Tenya was blindsided by the overwhelming desire to see Katsuki radiate with victory. The way his quirk would pop and smoke would drift around him. A feral smile and shining eyes that screamed with vanity. He tripped and stumbled right from the beginning, a problem he never had before.
"Fuck yeah." Katsuki celebrated as he put more distance between them.
"Not so fast." Iida shot back as he quickly regained lost time. This is who he was, a runner. It had been baked into his ever fiber. He would live up to his family name.
"Shit." Bakugo was whining, but he would never admit it and Tenya would selfishly never share the information.
Katsuki never won this game, but Iida could hear the heavy slap of his feet cross the lap line only moments after his own.
"Katsuki that was amazing." It slipped out before he really had time to think, he had turned around so quickly and the praise he'd tried to keep down couldn't be tamed any longer.
That warm feeling danced over their skin in a painful blush. Bakugo's mouth hung open like he didn't know how to respond. Iida had always strived to be proper, but here he was breathless on the school track with Bakugo Katsuki, the almost pro that snuck into his room to steal his jackets.
"Stupid," Katsuki finally grumbled, stalking forward and latching on to Iida's lose shirt, "Idiot."
He yanked the taller down before stretching onto his toes and slamming his lips onto the other's. It was all teeth and harsh movements. Tenya's shaking hands carding through the soft spikes of Katsuki's hair. The emotions Iida tried so hard to keep down came washing over him suddenly and overwhelmingly. Bakugo shoved away first, breathless and embarrassed he darted over to Tenya's jacket, pulling it on and cursing to himself. Iida couldn't find words as the blond was flying through the sky back to the school.
"Oh." Tenya whispered, a hand clentched over his chest where Katsuki had latched on and fingers brushing over his stinging lips.
He walked back to the school, Bakugo's water bottle in his hand. His mind elsewhere as he walked into the front dorm room doors. The common room was empty, but he could hear the distinct sound of everyone milling around in the kitchen and dining area.
"Iida, you're back! Kachan is making spicy curry and Shoto made enough cold soba of you'd rather that." Midoriya hummed from the doorway.
"I'm not hungry, thank you." Tenya sighed back, his skin prickling at the mention of Bakugo.
"Oi, you idiot, you have to eat after that work out." Katsuki snarled from where he stood behind Midoriya, a wooden spoon extended like a weapon.
"Oh." Iida blurted out, unsure of what else to say to the soft blush that painted Bakugo's features and the flutter of butterflies in his chest, "I'll help then."
. . .
Aaaa idk I have mixed feelings but overall I'm pretty okay with how this turned out. I hope you enjoyed <3
#bakuiida#bakugou katsuki#tenya lida#mha fluff#mha au#bnha fanfiction#kirishima eijirou#kaminari denki#bnha fandom
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Cold Pizza (Raphael x Gender Neutral Reader)
Rated: T
Gender Neutral Reader, power outage, banter, light angst and fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers, Raph can cook
<5k words
*
Snow falls gently upon the city outside your window, and it should be calm. You should want to listen to soft jazz or something. You should be sipping tea and enjoying the sight. But instead you're stifling a laugh at the sound of Raphael swearing behind you as he stubs his toe in the dark.
"Shit. Why the hell is that in the middle of the floor?"
"It's a coffee table, Raph. It's in front of the couch same as always." You haven't redecorated the apartment in months, but it's only Raph's second visit. You can't really blame him for not knowing the layout of the place by heart. But he's a ninja, isn't he? Shouldn't he be better at finding his way through the shadows?
The table scrapes against the hardwood floor as he drags it back into place and you snicker into the sleeve of your long-sleeve tee. The building only lost power ten minutes ago but your hands are already getting cold.
The crinkle of the last bag of potato chips gets louder as Raphael comes up behind you. "Don woulda neva let this happen."
"Really?" You huff. "Donatello wouldn't have let the blizzard get so bad that it took down the power lines?"
"Well, he woulda made sure the generator was workin', but no. That's not what I'm talkin' about." He crunched and munched in your ear.
As payback for the purposefully annoying chew, you snagged a chip out of his hand and gnashed your teeth over it hard. Crumbs fell to the ground and he snarled, shaking his head.
"You heathen. This is the last of the food! Your cupboards are bare."
"My cupboards? Ok, grandma..." You don't hide your snicker this time. "There's canned soup and, like, other stuff in the pantry, dude. Don't get your panties in a twist."
"We can't turn on the stove if there's no power, genius."
"It's a gas oven, genius."
"I don't know what difference that makes, Einstein."
"It means all I need is a lighter and I can ignite the gas, Einstein."
"Well, you don't smoke, Edison."
"Valid. But I do have a lighter. It's in a drawer somewhere."
It does take another ten minutes to actually find the lighter, in your nightstand, having been tossed there after you used it to light some candles in your room forever ago. And even after you find it, you set a pot of water to boil only to have Raphael complain that he can't find the pasta you were sure was in the pantry.
"Well, what is in there?" you ask as you light a few more candles around the kitchen.
Raphael places a jar of tomato sauce on the counter, but his tone remains unimpressed. "Flour and shit."
"That's fucking gross."
"You know what I mean." Raphael opened the cabinet door wide. "Flour, sugar, salt... I don't know. Like, a thousand different jars of seasonings you've probably never used ever."
"How do you know I've never used them?"
"Probably because they've all got their plastic seals on?"
"Right. I don't really cook that much."
Raphael gestures to the otherwise empty shelves. "I'm shocked."
"Well..." You pass the jar of tomato sauce you were going to use for the pasta you actually don't have from one hand to the other as you think. "There's gotta be something. Grab the cereal, at least."
The Honey Nut Cheerios barely have a bowl left. It's hard to ignore it when Raphael's stomach growls.
"Ok, ok. Maybe we should order take out?" But as you form the question, you notice something more than hunger and frustration in the way Raphael wraps his arms around himself. "You feeling alright?"
"Sure." Raphael shrugs, and though you have to squint in the evening's fading light, you think he looks a little paler than usual.
"Raph?"
He's the master of compartmentalizing and hiding his feelings -- until they bubble over into a fiery mess -- but he's utter crap at suppressing the shiver that runs through his arms while you're staring.
"Dude… you're sick or something."
"I'm not," Raph says, relaxing his arms from around his body to his sides, but his shoulders remain tense. His arms stay tucked tight against his sides. "I'm fine. There's nothin' to say. We're stuck here. Right?"
"Call Donnie."
"He can't… he can't come out in this weather."
"The weather?" The winds had died down. And yeah, the drifts were pretty high in some parts of the city, but it was dark enough that- "Are you too cold?"
Raphael shrugs.
You move closer to him, reaching out, and his arm under your hand feels cold to the touch. "Raph…"
He leans into your touch a second longer than he wants to, chasing the heat as you pull your hand away. You're close friends, but you don't go around holding onto each other or anything. The way he chases the warmth of your hand, the small needy sound in his throat, breaks you inside.
"It’s why we got generators at the lair. They mostly run on street power Donnie got hooked up, but… don't do so well in the cold, y'know?"
"Shit. I'm sorry." You turn on another burner and fill another pot of water. "Can you, uh, get in touch with D? I know there's a way to get the oven going but I, er, don't wanna blow up the apartment in the process."
Raph nods and you notice another shiver. He hunches in on himself as he thumbs out a text to his brother.
While he's occupied, you rush over to the living room and grab a blanket from the couch. You're not sure he wants to admit just how cold he is, so you don't wrap it around his shoulders yourself, but you place it on the counter with purpose and head into the bedroom to find a heavier sweater for yourself. And some socks. You definitely need to double up your socks. And shit, maybe you should offer Raph some socks too.
But what the hell socks do you have that'll fit him?
You grab the comforter from your bed and hug a pair of pillows to your chest. The way to the livingroom causes you to stumble and you know you're not looking the cutest you've ever looked when you crash into the couch with your load, but you manage to grunt like a buffoon when you bounce off the couch cushions and land hard on the floor.
"Graceful." Raphael says from the kitchen counter. He saunters over, wrapped up in the blanket, wearing it like a shawl and looking ever so much like a reptilian version of the big bad wolf pretending to be grandma.
"My, what big eyes you have." You kid, and you smirk, but color blooms high on Raphs cheeks and you watch him duck his head just a bit as he tries not to break your gaze.
"They um… they're the same as always , y'know?"
From there on the floor, you look up at him and wonder when he became so shy. He's been your best friend for ages. He's muscles and bravado. He's a ninja skill set and a heart of gold. He's fire and sugar and the kind of spicy that'll catch you on fire if you stay too close, but you always want to be close to him and you know one day you're going to get burned. It's why you don't touch. It's why you point to the blankets and pillows on the couch and you back away from the pile so he can get them himself.
You know if you get too close. If you let yourself linger near him, you'll stay too long. You'll get burned. What's between you simmers when you keep your distance. That's good. That's better. You don't want him to push you away, so it's better to keep some distance. He hasn't pulled you closer, so you think you're doing the right thing. If you were reading this wrong, there would have been some clue. Someone would have said something. Raph would have said something. He's not one to mince words about what he wants.
He's very much the guy who tells you what he wants when he wants it.
"Don says we can light the pilot and have the gas oven heat the room, but you're gonna have to do it because my hands are too big."
"Know what they say about a man with big hands?"
Raphael crosses his arms over his chest, unamused. "Woulda lit the damn thing myself if my hands were smaller so it don't really matter what people say about big hands. At the moment these big hands are useless."
"Geez, Raph," you scoot around him to get at the oven. "You're not useless. Chrissake."
The oven lights and you crank it up to 500°F. "We can leave the door open a crack and let it warm the room."
"Or we can make pizza."
"Sure. Yeah." You say, dripping with sarcasm. "We could totally learn how to make pizza in the dark with no electricity or ingredients."
"We don't got no ingredients." Exasperated, Raphael throws off the blanket and gestures toward the pantry. "You got spices. Sauce. Flour."
"What about cheese?" Your hands are on your hips and your toe is tapping because you just know he's going to come after your snacks.
"I saw like 7000 Polly-O string cheese things in your crisper drawer-"
"Don't touch my string cheese!" He wouldn't dare.
"We can grate it down for-"
"You monster!"
Raphael is more snarl than laugh when he crows, "You're being ridiculous! I'm making pizza. Are you in?" His gaze narrows and you think he may be serious about tossing you out of the kitchen. "Or are you just in my way?"
As it's the only warm room in the apartment, you're ready to make all the sacrifices necessary to keep your ass in the kitchen.
Raphael and his big hands leave you at a loss as he uses his thick fingers to ever so delicately arrange his phone against the tomato sauce jar. “Sit still ya lil fucker.” With each adjustment he makes, the phone slides down the counter, unwilling to stand in place so that he can read the recipe without getting his phone dirty with sticky doughy hands.
You shouldn’t just stand there watching with a grin, but you really can’t help it. It’s adorable. You really think you may be falling in love with him just watching the way he shifts the phone inch by inch. Then when he finally has the phone in place, he throws his hands up in the air, victory writ large upon his features. His smile is open and wide and it’s such a stark contrast to see him now, his body flooded with joy and warmth as opposed to when he was near frozen, that you can’t help but smile back. You’re a little thrown by just how charming that smile can be. You lock eyes and get stuck. He’s so handsome. He’s so true to himself. He’s just real and raw and he doesn’t care that this is only a tiny victory of some phone vs man vs counter slip ridiculousness. He’s excited and he lets you join him in this celebration because it’s fun and it doesn’t have to mean anything more than fun.
You shake your head as you grab the flour from the pantry and place it on the counter. “One small step for a man, one giant leap toward making a pizza. We actually need to get some ingredients in a bowl, methinks.”
Raphael takes the flour and tears the never opened bag open from the top. He’s obviously never done it before. Flour ends up everywhere and you don’t even bother to tell him that he could have easily unfolded the flour bag and made far less mess.
As you watch his flour dusted face reemerge from the plume of flour, you’re actually glad you didn’t mention it. Or else you wouldn’t have had the chance to see him look so surprised. To surprise a ninja, now that had to be some kind of feat.
Raphael’s green eyes blink at you, stark contrast green from the white floured face around them. His mask is caked in the stuff. You laugh as you reach forward. “May I?”
He hasn’t really said yes, but he’s spoken no objection either, so you slide the mask over his head and dust it off before laying it on the counter.
Seeing him without his mask is always a pleasure. One of the small pleasures you don’t mention out loud. Like standing too close, it runs the risk of being burned. Something Raphael could take away if you make too big a deal of it. So, you try not to stare, while simultaneously trying to memorize every bump and slope of his features.
“You’re a real mess,” you say, wiping Raph’s cheek with a clean hand. “How much of this flour are we gonna lose before you whip up dinner, huh?”
Raphael has been staring at you. He hasn’t even been paying attention to your words. In fact, he’s not sure you’re speaking. Everything feels like it’s moving in slow motion because your hands are reaching toward him for the second and third time today and that never happens. That never happens and Raph knows for sure because he pays attention to that sort of thing. He notices when you come close because he waits for it. He wishes for it. He clocks each step you take toward him and bites back a pout each time you pull away.
When your hands reach for his mask, he doesn’t know what to say, so he stays still. And you unmask him. And the world doesn’t stop turning, but it sure feels like all of the air has been sucked from the room. But you’re smiling, so he knows nothing bad has happened.
You’re smiling so the world is still spinning.
His mask is in your hands and flour is falling to the floor like weightless raindrops and he can almost make out your laughter past the sound of his own thoughts. There’s nothing Raphael loves more than his time with you. The sound of your voice. The curve of your smile. The barely visible sunburst of silver under the pigment of your iris.
He shouldn’t know about that design. He shouldn’t pay such close attention to your eyes that it would be plastered in his memory. But he has. He does. He watches you when you’re not paying attention. When you’re playing around with his brothers or working at your computer. He watches the light reflect off your eyes. He could map the lines of your irises. And that’s probably weird. He’s no artist. He knows that. He can’t do flowery words or paint a picture. But he has a mind like a steel trap. He remembers everything about you.
So, when you tease him about making dinner, he knows you’re probably thinking about your own lack of culinary experience. You’re worried about screwing things up and probably relieved that Raphael is a little clumsy himself.
Raph uses this to his advantage, to make things a little easier for you. With a kind smile, he points to the cabinets. “I need a mixing bowl and some measuring cups. Oil, salt, and sugar. And yeast. We need yeast.”
“Yeah. OK. Like I have fucking yeast up in this bitch.”
Raphael hums and turns. He’s pretty sure he saw something that looked suspiciously like yeast in the cabinet. And there, on the row with all of the other unused herbs and spices, was a jar of the stuff. “You really suck at this.”
You raise an eyebrow in surprise. “Don’t I know it.” There’s no way to argue around it.
Taking orders from Raphael isn’t a turn on or anything. You’re not getting goosebumps from his praise or hanging on his every word like it’s the air that you breathe. But he’s standing close and the way his breath is warmer than the air around you makes your blood feel like it’s thrumming through your veins a little more quickly tonight than it was just minutes ago.
Standing in front of the open oven is hot work. You don’t know much about dough, but you’ve watched enough Great British Bake Off to know this rise is going to happen fast in the hot kitchen.
“We should close the oven door,” you suggest. “Get the inside temperature right and let the dough do it’s thing before we shape it and sauce it up and stuff.”
“Wow, that’s a lotta we talk. You sure you’re up to the task? Thought you were taking more of a supervisory role, here.”
“I grated the cheese, didn’t I?”
“You made more wine than cheese, sweetheart.”
“Yes, well, it was my favorite snack.”
“It’s sacrifice will be worth it.”
The pizzas only took about ten minutes in the oven before the dough was crispy, the cheese not quite burned, and the sauce was bubbly hot. Raphael moved them onto the bare countertop to cool. “So, we keepin’ the oven on or?”
“Of course we can.” You glance at the oven and then at the pile of blankets and pillows in the living room. “Can’t we?”
“I could ask Don? Seems like the power could be out all night. Not sure we should leave the oven on indefinitely.”
“Well… we’ll figure that out after we eat, I guess.”
Eating was weird. You sat close, sharing the light of a candle to make sure you weren’t dripping sauce all over yourselves. Your elbows nudged each other as you moved and you had to stop yourself from shifting further away each time. It would look suspicious. You weren’t close because you wanted to be, because you desired to be as close to Raphael as physically possible without fear of your feelings being known… you were sitting elbow to elbow with him now because you needed to. He wasn’t going to read anything into it.
“You have sauce on your chin.”
“I what?”
“Sauce,” Raphael said, quieter than you expect from him. Perhaps he worries about shouting in your face. Things do seem louder in the dark. So then why does he sound like he’s whispering?
“Oh. Yeah. The sauce is good, Raph. You, uh, know your way around that spice rack.”
“Nah, I mean…” Raphael shakes his head good naturedly and sighs before lifting his thumb to your chin. He takes your face in his hand as he drags his thumb over your chin, wiping your skin clean with a smooth drag of his thumb.
“Raph?” You suck in a breath and you catch his gaze. He’s squinting at you as you struggle to make sense of his sudden closeness.
When he pulls away, you watch as he wipes his hand on his shorts. “You had sauce. Ya know? It was uh, just there.”
“Oh!” You wipe at the spot Raph has already cleaned, your cheeks and ears growing hot. “I… thanks.”
“Yeah, no prob.” Raphael clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck. He’s still not wearing his mask, so each twitch of his eyes is out in the open. But you wonder if it’s a trick of the light, him looking embarrassed and unsure.
“The blankets and stuff. I was gonna say we should tuck under them. I don’t know about you, but that oven’s been off for a minute and I’m already feeling like-”
“The blankets are good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Raph says, swallowing hard. “The cold makes me a little tired, you know?”
You shrug. You suppose it makes sense. You feel a little tired yourself. “You could sleep. Do you mind if I share the couch with you? That’s my stuff from my room.”
“No. I mean, yeah. I mean. I don’t mind sharin’. Donatello says humans run hot?”
“Compared to you?” You know you probably shouldn’t joke about something like this when Raphael was vulnerable, but you always joke about everything. To not joke about this feels like it would make things worse, make them mean more, give the vulnerability more weight than if you treat it the same as everything else. “Yeah. I guess. We’re warm-blooded.” It feels weird to refer to humans as we and the turtles as they. You rarely think of yourself as different from them. You haven’t thought of them as other than the guys for so long. “It’s um…”
“Yeah, so, like sharing would be fine. It’s cool.”
“You wanna use my body, Raph? That what this is about? You tryin’ to steal my heat? My human fire?”
“Are you kidding?”
“About mi fuego humano?”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Baby you can light my fire.”
“I don’t even know you.”
“You wanna sleep with a stranger! For shame!”
“Don’t slut shame me. I never slut shame you.”
“Yeah ok, sure, dude.”
“What? I don’t.”
“Uh, you crap on every guy I’ve ever been out with.”
“No, I don’t. No I haven’t.”
Suddenly all the joking isn’t fun. Because if Raphael can’t see how hard you’ve tried to get over him. How hard you’ve tried to move past your feelings for him, feelings that he so very clearly does not reciprocate, then you really don’t want to play this game anymore.
You stand up and move to the couch. You won’t deny him your body heat if that’s what he needs, but you don’t think you can carry on this conversation. By the time he gets to the blankets, they’ll be warm, you think. Then maybe you can have a minute to yourself.
Raphael follows you to the living room in quiet contemplation. “I hate the guys you date.”
“Great. They were real winners anyway so, thanks for running them off. Never did stand a chance with them.”
“They weren’t good enough for you.”
“Pfft.” He doesn’t get it. None of them were good enough, yeah. Because every guy you’ve ever talked to, ever listened to talk about their hobbies and dreams and hopes and family, every guy who has ever taken an interest in you, you’ve compared to Raphael. And every one of them has come up short.
“You know how good you are? Like, a good person. Not like 'tries to be good' or 'does the right thing' kinda good…”
“Gee thanks, big guy. I’m blushing.”
Raphael turns to face you on the couch, his back braced against the arm rest and honest to god shoves you with his bare foot. You can’t help but notice his toes are ice cold. “What I’m saying is you’re the 'real' good. A good heart. You do the wrong shit for the right reasons kinda good. You hurt because you care, yet you still care.”
You let Raph ramble because you don’t know what you’d say if you stopped him, if you acknowledge the things that he says. You let Raph ramble and you pull his ice cold foot into your lap under the blankets. You warm it in your hands. Maybe it should be gross. He’s been walking around the apartment since early this afternoon barefoot. But it’s just feet. Just skin. Just flesh and bone and it’s all so cold between your palms.
Raphael scoots down against the armrest, just a little so that his foot is resting comfortably in your lap. He turns away from you to look at an alert on his phone, all the while still talking about how good you were when you tried to help Leo with his attempt to try every flavor of Pringles that you could find at the gas station mini mart. It was a valiant attempt and Leo didn’t want to do it alone. You both ended up with pretty bad indigestion, but it was fun and Raphael had seemed extra happy to see Leo making a friend and being a total idiot with you.
“Donatello says the power should be up and running again sometime tonight. There was an update on the website or something.”
“They give updates on this shit?”
“I guess?”
Your hands move to Raphael’s other foot as you nod. “I don’t really like the guys I date either,” you admit aloud. “It’s not that I set out ready to dump them, it’s just that they don’t interest me. I try to get to know them, I try to let them get to know me. But it goes nowhere. I don’t get that feeling, you know?”
Raphael’s jaw tenses, but he doesn’t answer.
You think maybe he doesn’t know that feeling. Maybe he doesn’t feel romantic attraction the way you do. “Raph, have you ever-”
“I don’t like it.”
You nod, thinking you’ll get more out of him if you stay silent. But when he doesn’t elaborate, you realize you have to say something. “You don’t like…”
“All those guys goin’ out with ya. They don’t know ya. They don’t treat ya the way ya should be treated.”
“Really? How do they treat me?”
“Like… like… They don’t let ya let go. I see ya going off with them and you go quiet or you laugh too loud.”
“I’m too quiet. I’m too loud. Which is it, Raph?”
“You deserve somebody who lets ya have fun. You make jokes and goof off and sometimes yeah it’s cause you’re nervous but mostly it’s cause ya have funny shit goin’ on in ya head and ya wanna let me in on the joke.”
You nod. You really do think you’re the most hilarious person on the fucking planet. It’d be a shame to keep all the good stuff to yourself. Even so, you don’t share your thoughts with just anybody. Raphael is right, it’s him who you want to let in.
“If I took ya out, it’d be like tonight.”
“Oh. Yeah. Yeah.” You say thoughtfully, sarcastically, poking fun and rubbing at your chin not caring a whit that you just had Raphael’s feet in your hands. “Like tonight. You’d cut the power to the city so we could freeze our asses off, then set up a super romantic dinner where we eat by candlelight.”
“We’d be laughing. Teasin. I’d make you dinner and if you want fucking candles I’ll light you a fucking candle.”
“And I’d rub your feet to thank you for making me such a delicious dinner.”
“Yeah. I deserve some pampering.”
“What about me? I don’t deserve to be pampered?”
“I just made you a romantic dinner with candles and all that shit.”
“Hypothetically. Yet here I am, literally rubbing your feet.”
“So what do you want, you want a foot rub for you too? Huh? You want a little shoulder rub cause you worked so hard watching me work my ass off in the kitchen?”
You pinch his ankle surprised he can feel anything when it all feels like rock solid muscle. Instead of answering with words, you give him a wry grin and move around a bit under the blankets. You relax into his chest, lying your head over his heart and settling your body between his and the pillows. “You’re a real smartass.”
Beneath you, Raphael lies still.
“This OK?”
Raph shifts a bit, you feel his hands rise and fall. “I don’t really know what to do with my hands.”
You hum and nod your head against Raphael’s chest. You reach blindly for Raph’s arms, one by one, and wrap them over your back. “Don’t have to do anything.”
Raphael relaxes a little at the news. He ducks his head low and you think you can feel him breathe you in. He rests his cheek on the top of your head before asking, “This that body heat thing?”
You nuzzle his chest, allowing yourself to slip under his arm a bit. Better position for falling asleep. “Yeah,” you say. “Sure.”
Raphael squeezes his arms around you, but he doesn’t say anything. You have to ask or you won’t be sure. Even if it means getting burned. Even if it means you’ve put too much meaning into things and you’re going to be pushed away, you have to know.
“This is more than a body heat thing. For me.” You bury your face in his chest as you wait for his response. At least, for a few seconds longer, you can pretend his heart is beating for you.
“When I take you on a proper date, there’s gonna be tables and napkins. And maybe something fancy to drink...”
“And then-”
“This. And then, this.”
“I like this.”
“Me too.”
#Raphael TMNT#Raphael x gender neutral reader#raphael#gender neutral reader#this was left in my drafts for a long while#i don't think i've posted it#enjoy it's got some cute shit in there especially toward the end#my writing
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Beyond the Bay chapter 4: Dinosaurs seen in sewers!
Commander Mozar hated everything about this planet. From the thick green foliage disrupting the simple gray of the city’s landscape to the sweet taste of the air, everything about this planet reeked of inhospitality. He thought such a cold place should be nothing more than a snowy wasteland, like some of the other planets his kind had tried to lay claim to that experienced similar temperature. This planet wasn’t one of those; it was crawling with Federation scum, and under the very feet of these knockoffs were vermin at considerable numbers. The entire settlement seemed to be infested and he wouldn’t be surprised if the entire world had similar plagues. Filthy, lower life-forms spreading disease and devouring food that could be used to feed the higher life forms that dominated the savage landscape; perhaps it would make sense for some of them to be spared for the purpose of farming if these aliens were omnivorous, but there were far too many here, and far too small to be practical for hunting! He failed to see how these hominids, as his scanners reported them, had yet to destroy such creatures. Then again, they weren’t a very advanced race compared to his .
The commander snorted and shook his head, giving a bellow to call his soldiers to his side. The Prime Leader had made it clear that they should at least try to stay out of sight; they didn't want another potential enemy on their hands. Mozar didn't understand the command; these hominids were obviously no threat to them. They had hardly even gotten out of their backyard as far as space travel went, and they had no claws or fangs. They were incredibly small, and slow, and clumsy. Still, the Prime Leader knew best and Commander Mozar made every attempt to be as silent as possible during their harvest of the rare and precious element that this planet harbored.
While Zark and Zeno took up their posts on either side of the long stone pathway, pinned between two large structures, Zog and Traximus took their positions over the manhole. From his shoulders, Zog pulled out a metal carver, holding onto one of the handles while Traximus gripped the other. The power of both bull triceratons was enough to crack the stone beneath them, forcing the blades into the earth, and together they started to turn the wheel at a slow pace to slice through rock and metal. A solid clank told them of their success, and they lifted both machine and stone from the earth to reveal a new, much more suitable entrance for them. They tossed the stone aside and Zog returned the carver to its place on his back.
Traximus opened his mouth, drawing in a deep breath of the terra’s sweet air and the putrid odor coming from the hidden tunnel they had just revealed.
“It stinks of rot and waste in there.” He reported to his commander with a low rumble.
“Then breath through your nose, Traximus.” Was Commander Mozar’s response. Another deep chuff called Zark and Zeno to rejoin the herd. After Commander Mozar leaped down into the tunnel, sinking knee-deep into the waste below, the rest of his unit were quick to follow.
Traximus groaned and readjusted the mask over his nose, taking a deep, slow breath of the familiar, homely burn of his world’s atmosphere. His chest refused to work as well with the pressured gravity of the terra planet, his breath much shallower than what his body would prefer. He couldn’t wait to return to the mothership, where he could breathe and move again without the weight of his body pushing down so hard.
Zeno offered his locator panel to their commander, who snatched the piece of tech from the technician's hand and scrutinized it with narrowed eyes. He flipped the panel from left to right, tilting his head before holding the panel by its corner, dangling it precariously.
“What is this? This makes no sense!”
“Uh, commander?” Zeno said lowly, then reached forward to flip the tech so it was facing the right way. “Look at it like this.”
“I knew that!” The commander snarled, and then it faded into a rumble as he looked over the map. “I was just testing you.”
A whip of his tail was all it took to call his crew into position to follow after him, deeper into the dark tunnel.
~~~
It was like a crash of lightning in his mind slashed through the fog and make Mikey sit upright. He immediately had regrets as the sudden movements brought him to almost keel over, choking smog in his throat stopping any breath that tried to force its way through. Something was wrong. Something was wrong and something was coming and he had to run or that something would find him and take him away. But how could he run when his body was made of lead? When his legs had no feeling other than an intense burning that hardly mattered compared to the fire that had surely swallowed his right arm. He didn't care. Even if he had to crawl, he would find some escape from the danger heading his way.
Mikey forced his body to stand— and then immediately fell as his legs gave out on him. The impact seemed to slam his senses back into his body, first in a numb sting and then in throbs that seared through shell and flesh in turn. The bang had also served to make Donnie jolt up, hand snagging his bo and holding it out in a defensive position during the seconds it took him to stand at attention. He looked left first, then right, then down. Only when he saw Mikey on the ground did he drop his defensive stance, muttering a loud swear as he fell to his knees to help lift Mikey into a sitting position. At first, Mikey resisted the touch that he immediately assumed to be from the bad he was trying to escape. When he recognized the hands, the voice, the mutant helping him, he didn't fight any more.
“Dee…” Mikey whined.
“I got you Mike. Here, up we get.” Donnie wrapped his arms around Mikey’s middle to lift the turtle back up and onto his bed. He made sure to push Mikey as far back as the cot allowed so the box turtle was supported against the wall. “What happened?”
“I fell.” Mikey grumbled; he was grateful for the help but now there was a hammering on the inside of his skull that refused to leave him alone.
“Yeah, kinda guessed that much.” Donnie immediately started to tend to the slightly-bleeding gash on Mikey’s forehead, dabbing it with a rag as he worked to clean it.
“We have to go, Dee.” Mikey said, trying to swipe Donnie’s hand away. Donnie simply ignored his brother’s attempts to remove him.
“Go?” Donnie indulged steadily, eyes focused on his work, “Go where, Mikey?”
“Uh… dunno.” Mikey said. The words were heavy on his tongue and came out weird, and he didn't like it. He frowned and reached his hand up, the left one that wasn’t so stiff, to touch his mouth and lips. They felt normal. Why was it so hard to talk then?
“Well how can we go if we don’t know where we’re going?” Donnie asked, offering a sly smile to the younger turtle while making a mental note of the speech deficit.
Mikey gulped, but didn't respond. It didn't take long for Donnie to finish cleaning and patching Mikey’s head wound before trying to guide Mikey to lay back down. Once more, Mikey immediately resisted and started to push and struggle against the taller mutant while Donnie calmly and patiently continued to position Mikey down on his carapace.
“No no no no no…”
“Easy, Mike.” Donnie made quick, shushing sounds, “You’re okay…”
“No no no no, we haft to go Dee, we haft to…”
Eventually, Donnie’s persistence won and he was able to lay Mikey down in the cot, pulling the blankets over him and fluffing out the pillow like he knew his baby brother loved. It concerned him when Mikey only whimpered, but he said nothing of it. He planted a kiss on Mikey’s forehead and then went to return to his desk, resigned to the fact he wouldn’t be getting much more sleep.
His resignation proved true on multiple levels. The minute he sat down, his fingers hovering over the keyboard ready to input the code, he was nearly knocked out of his seat by a blaring alarm.
“Woah woah woah— what?” Donnie was back to his feet quickly, the sudden, jarring beeping reverberating in his head in a way he just knew would cause a headache later in the day. He worked quickly, the habit of thinking out loud hitting him hard as he rushed to complete his task. “Breach in the fan room… camera’s camera’s camera’s… woah.”
The curtains were practically ripped down as Raph and Leo came busting in, hands on their weapons and back to back with each other so they had eyes on both sides.
“Donnie, what happened?” Leo demanded.
“B… breach in the fan room.” Donnie repeated, motioning to the screen. Leo’s voice sounded like it was on the other side of a great canyon, the distant words echoing and slowly getting closer and louder. Donnie’s mouth was like sand, words like daggers slicing his tongue. “Enemies approaching.”
Leo shouldered his way past, leaning closer to the cameras presented on the screen as he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. At first, they could have very easily been mistaken for rhinos; these ones would have been far bigger than Rocksteady, and there were far more of them. A closer look on a different display screen showed a front view, revealing three horns instead of two.
“Is that a fucking dinosaur?” Raph’s words were more surprise than anything else, eyes wide and growing wider by the second.
They were dinosaurs! At least, Leo was almost sure they were. It was hard to tell just how big they might have been, but they definitely weren’t small. They each had three horns, two on their heads just in front of their frills and one on their nose; beneath their nose horn were masks that covered their nostrils, feeding back into a massive amount of tech on their backs. All but one of them were a vibrant orange with disrupting patterns of red and yellow markings; the outlier was a dark red and in the lead, so Leo immediately singled him out as a potential leader.
The earth beneath their feet started to tremble like a train was going by, enough to disrupt some of the artifacts on Donnie’s shelf and make a few of them fall; Donnie made a dive to catch every last one of them before they could hit the ground. The dinosaurs in the cameras reached the fan blades, the last defense separating them from the lair, and they shredded right through without stopping. Leo wanted to swear, but he held his tongue, his grip on both katana tightening as his body tensed for a battle.
Raph growled and shook his head, moving against Mikey’s cot and standing like an unmovable wall in front of it, watching the fan room tunnel as if daring the attackers to come anywhere near his brothers. The attackers, it seemed, accepted his dare as the five of them flooded out of the tunnels and into the open lair.
@brightlotusmoon @selfindulgenz @scentedcandlecryptid @digitl-art-monstr @ilo-artistry
#enter the threat#Donnie is a good big brother#rottmnt#Tmnt#bayverse#Tmnt 2014#Tmnt 2016#tmnt crossover#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt au#bay turtles
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I have done the first prompt: Losing their Temper.
Read on Ao3 here, or beneath the “read more”
Takes place directly after the events of 2012 Season 4 Episode 5: Riddle of the Ancient Aeons
We see Raph lose his temper plenty of times, that's old news. So for this prompt, I decided to explore the aftermath of one of those times... Specifically, when he accidentally pushed Mikey and caused his helmet to shatter.
Shattered Glass
The sound of it still rang through Raphael's mind, right behind his own enraged yelling. Mikey's terrified face, eyes wide and panicked as he gasped for air he didn't realize he hadn't lost, struggling this way and that. The edges of glass framing his face, and Raph's own outstretched hand. He was helpless to do anything but watch.... to do anything but watch and regret.
It had happened hours ago without consequence. Mikey had been fine, just panicking from the expectation of death, not anything that his body was actually reacting too. The air was breathable... and Raph didn't know what he would've done if it wasn't.
Still, it was all he could think about.
He tossed and turned, thankful for the darkness of the room that covered the reflective surfaces. Fugitoid kept his ship clean and polished, the silver of the metal so bright some days it hurt his eyes. Tonight, he couldn't bare to stare at his own reflection. He'd rather die. He needed the darkness to hide everything, to hide his own tear stained face he'd deny ever having.
Mikey was fine. That was what he told himself, over and over. It didn't matter that he lost his temper. It didn't matter that he pushed him. It didn't matter than he nearly killed his own baby brother. It didn't matter. Because Mikey was okay, Mikey was alive and sleeping in the room next door, and Mikey was breathing. He hadn't died.
Raph squeezed his eyes shut and tried to pretend it really didn't matter.
"Mikey is fine," He whispered, ignoring the shaking in his voice. It wasn't there. It just wasn't. "Mikey's fine."
But what if he hadn't been? For all they had known at the time, the planet's air was toxic. With the blood red skies and demons living underneath the accursed clouds, that kind of air really would've made more sense. Raph knew that. He knew that, and he still shoved him. Raph still screamed, and for Mikey's tiny mistake, shoved him as hard as he could until he fell straight onto that rock, and the glass of his helmet hadn't been strong enough to survive the fall.
Maybe it was actually Fugitoid's fault. Surely, he should have made sure their suits were durable with indestructible helmets. After all, anything could happen in space! Yes, it was definitely Fugitoid's fault.
Raph huffed out a breath of humorless laughter. As if he could believe that stupid blame-shifting lie for even a second.
It was Raphael who hadn't stopped to think about the consequences that attacking his little brother could bring. It was he who hadn't realized how fragile life really was. It was he who had let the passionate fire inside him grow even stronger than usual. The planet's curse had dumped jet fuel on it, bringing that blazing heat from a constant flame to a raging forest fire before he even realized it was happening. Sure, it had affected everyone like that... but he could've fought it, he could've if he tried. He hadn't, he had embraced the rage, and that had nearly cost Mikey his life.
Raph shoved his pillow over his face, and screamed. It was safer to do that here than at home in the lair; the Fugitoid's ship's walls were soundproof. And even if they weren't, the constant hum and buzz of the ship's engines would cover up the noise nicely. He screamed louder.
What if the Aeon's planet's air had been toxic? Raph shook his head to himself; that was another null question. If it had truly been unbreatheable, he would have taken off his own helmet and shoved it onto Mikey's head, aeon rage be damned. He'd suffocate himself if he had too... Raph would never take his brother's life, not even on accident. He wouldn't. He couldn't.
It didn't matter if, in the moment it had happened, he had frozen. It didn't matter that he had felt like he was dying right alongside of Mikey. It didn't matter that he wasn't sure if he could have moved a muscle if he tried. It didn't matter. He wouldn't have let him die.
The turtle jumped out of his cot, nearly banging his head on the bunk above him. It was Casey's bed; the two shared a room. However, tonight he had elected to sleep somewhere else. If Raph had bothered to ask him where he was going, Casey would've said April's room, even if they both knew he was really going to Donnie's. For once, Raphael really didn't care.
"Damn it!" He shouted, kicking the bottom of the metal bunk as hard as he could. "Damn it!" He kicked it again, and again, and again. His foot throbbed, and he kicked it again anyways.
His damn anger. His damn strength. If he had thought he had hated himself in the past for roughing Mikey up too much, for pushing their games just a little too far, well... that past Raphael knew nothing of the self hatred that he felt now. He almost wished that the air had actually been toxic, so he could've given his helmet away and suffocated himself. That was the fate he'd nearly given his brother, and that was the fate he deserved now.
He tried, he really did, to ease up on his self hatred. Raph even made one brief and half hearted attempt at convincing himself it wasn't his fault; it was the Aeon's. It was their rage that spurred him on, corrupted his thoughts and actions. Look, even Leo had been affected! Surely, it was unfair to expect him to fight it that early on if even Leo couldn't. Right? Right?
Never mind that he already pushed and shoved Mikey all the time without the planet's help. Never mind he was that rough already. Never mind shoving Mikey over when he annoyed him was a simple action he'd already done dozens of times in the past.
He clenched his jaw, squeezed his eyes shut, and repeated that damned mantra over and over again in his mind.
It didn't matter. It didn't matter at all. It didn't matter that he knew that that same scenario could have easily played out with only his own natural rage to help. It didn't matter that he didn't believe any of the shit he thought up to try to comfort himself. It didn't matter.
"Damn it!"
Raphael punched the bedframe, and growled when it didn't move. Damn the metal for being a part of the ship itself. Damn the metal for being too strong to fall over. He punched it again, and again, and again, until he found himself wondering if this much pain in your hand was normal. Maybe he had broken it. He punched the metal once again for good measure, and then crumpled to the ground in pain, mental and physical.
Breath coming out in pants and gasps, he hugged his knees tightly, and tried to pretend he couldn't feel the tears falling down his face now. His fingers and knuckles throbbed, the green of his skin turning to the painful purplish-brown that came with the bruises, and he tried to move his fingers experimentally. Wincing, he pushed that injury aside to deal with another time; it didn't matter anyways. It didn't matter.
His hands found their way to the tails of his mask, and he ripped it from his face without a second thought. Raph threw it across the room as hard as he could, and buried his face in his knees. Maybe one day, he'd figure out how to shut his mind up and lock away the memories.
"Woah, dudes, we can breathe air here! Sweet!"
Mikey's voice still rang through his mind. He had never sounded so relieved. Raph clenched his jaw; his brother was relieved he hadn't murdered him. It didn't matter that he saved him multiple times later on in the journey. He couldn't undo that first fight, so it didn't matter.
Once they got back on the ship, Mikey had hugged him once, his way of telling Raph all was okay, and that there were no hard feelings. But then he left, and he hadn't spoken a word to him for the rest of the day. Raphael tried to talk to him, to get him alone to apologize, but Mikey avoided him. The way his wide eyes searched for an escape when he asked to speak to him, the way he mumbled a half-assed excuse about helping Donnie out with one thing or another... Raph's stomach turned at the thought. Forgiveness was a given, but forgetting was something else entirely. Mikey was avoiding him.
The worst part was, he couldn't even blame him.
The hum of the ship shifted. A slight noise, one that most would never notice, but Raph had spent month's worth of quiet nights alone. He knew that sound all too well; it was nearly their waking period, and the ship was adjusting to send more power to the utilities and machines they'd be likely to use during the day. Everyone would awaken soon, Fugitoid was definitely out of his sleep mode and chances were Leo was getting up too.
Raph inhaled deeply, rubbing at his eyes. He hadn't gotten any sleep at all, but it was time for him to leave the room. Maybe Leo would be willing to spar. Leo wouldn't ask questions, and maybe Raph would be able to get in a few good rounds before the pain in his fist became too much to bare and he'd be forced to ask Donnie or Fugitoid for help.
Okay, that was a lie; he definitely wasn't going to ask them for help. But even Leo would notice the way he winced trying to use it, especially if they sparred. Sooner or later, he would be forced to visit one of them, whether he wanted to or not.
So he picked up his mask, and wiped his eyes one more time before tying it around the back of his head tightly, struggling slightly from doing it one handed. The red fabric would hide the darkening circles under his eyes, and the way the skin and scales around them puffed up from the hours spent crying. For all his brothers knew, he had slept fine, and he just wanted an early morning spar. That was it. He could play that part easily.
He rose to his feet, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. He opened the door.
And Raphael was fine.
He found Leo within 5 minutes, and Leo had smiled at him, wished him good morning. Raph's stomach twisted in his gut. Instead of thinking about why, he simply challenged his older brother to a spar, and ignored the concerned look his brother shot at him. He ignored the caring "Raph?" that came from his mouth. He ignored the offered help, and pretended he was relieved when the subject was dropped.
Because he was fine.
And it didn't matter.
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2012#tmnt fanfic#tmnt raphael#angst#hurt no comfort#im not sorry
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RAMifications Chapter 7 - Kiss Me
Book: The Royal Romance (AU)
Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella)
Song Inspiration: Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran
Characters belong to Pixelberry; MC Ella Brooks belongs to me
A/N: This entire idea came from @burnsoslow and her unBEARable series featuring her OTP Drake and Alyssa. This is Ella’s backstory and how she met the love of her life King Liam of Cordonia and became his queen.
Catch up here
Big thank you to my beta reader/snippet looker-overer (?)/my biggest cheerleader @burnsoslow - always catching little details that my mind overlooks.
Warnings: Some swearing; hinting of 🍐 or 🍋?
Words: 2002
“Lady Ella. Might I have a word?”
Ella wasn’t sure about the protocol for inviting the King inside her bedroom … but this was his palace after all. She nodded and stepped back, allowing him to walk past her as she shut the door.
“Hello again, Your Majesty,” Ella put one foot behind the other in an attempt to curtsy when Constantine waved his hand in the air.
“There’s no need for that, dear,” he studied Ella for another moment before speaking again. “How are you feeling about Liam?”
“Your Majesty?” What the hell does that mean?
Constantine blew out a breath. “Are you here for wealth? Fame? A title? Why are you here? Liam needs stability above all right now, Ella. You … joining in the middle of the social season, having not been in Cordonia long and knowing nothing of our traditions … that concerns me. We have suitors that have prepared their entire lives to be queen. This could be potentially dangerous should our enemies see this as a weakness!”
Ella grit her teeth and clenched her jaw in an effort to hide her irritation. What the fuck? “Sir, if I may speak freely?”
He nodded and gestured for her to go ahead.
“Why are you trying to intimidate me?” She spat out.
The King was taken aback at her tone and could only blink as a response. He hadn’t expected this very small woman to behave this way. Ella continued speaking, not even waiting for him to respond. “I may not have prepared my whole life to be a queen of an entire country, but I’ve spent a majority of my adult life studying. Studying diplomacy, trade, investment … how to recognize when someone is going into cardiac arrest and bringing them back to life,” she said the last few words louder than the rest, unable to hide her aggravation. “I have no doubt that these other ladies studied hard to be queen. But did they study how to be a wife? How to console someone when they lost everything they own? How to be compassionate towards people of a lower stature? The people need a Queen that understands them. Liam needs someone that can be a queen AND a wife. I’ve embraced your country, as well as your traditions.”
Constantine gave her a questioning look.
“I know I have because instead of just being with the man I want to be with … I have to parade around with four other women trying to win him.” Ella’s eyes met his, not backing down from his stare.
He was momentarily speechless. No one had ever spoken to him that way, ever. Except maybe his wife, but he hardly paid attention to her and her ramblings anyway. This young woman was fiery, and he wasn’t sure if he liked that or not. “I am not here to intimidate you, Ella,” he finally said slowly. “We will see how the rest of the season goes. I want what’s best for my country, that’s all.”
“What’s best for your country is a successor that has it all. If he’s happy AND can run a country with someone that loves him, then I don’t see the problem … sir.” She had forgotten that she was speaking to the king. He could have her gone and back to California in a hot second if he wanted to.
Constantine carefully took in her words and nodded. “Alright, Ella. We’ll see what happens. You have a good night.” He turned and let himself out of the room.
Ella walked over, locked the door and pressed her back up against it. My mouth might get me in some serious trouble here. She finally went to get ready for bed, slipped into the comforter and fell into a deep sleep.
**
Soft, constant knocks on the door woke up Ella the next morning.
“I’m coming … sheesh,” she mumbled, stumbling out of bed and tripped over her comforter that her foot was caught in. “Oh shit!” She shrieked as she hit the ground and the knocking stopped for a second.
“Ella?”
“Um, yes! Just a second!” Real smooth. Ella picked herself up off the ground, threw the stupid comforter on the bed and rushed to the door to open it.
There stood Liam, leaning on the door frame wearing a white polo shirt that outlined his chest and arm muscles perfectly. She roamed her eyes down further to take in the navy blue slacks and brown loafers. Ohmigod. It’s entirely too early to look that good. She inadvertently sucked her bottom lip into her mouth.
Liam cleared his throat and tried to hide a smile when he noticed she was staring. “Good morning, Lady Ella. I wanted to stop by and see you before I headed in to meetings today. May I come in?”
Ella blinked and quickly nodded. She moved aside so he could walk in the door and she closed it behind him. “Good morning, Your Highness. I’m sorry if I-” She was interrupted by Liam’s mouth on hers. Ella strained on the tips of her toes to meet him so she could kiss him back with fervor. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pushed her tongue into his mouth and he groaned in response.
He could hardly control himself. As soon as he saw her open the door wearing a tank top - she wasn’t wearing a bra, dear God - and the shortest Hello Kitty pajama shorts known to man, his cock jumped in his pants and his mouth watered. She looked like a goddess, with all her dark hair piled on top of her head, and her sleepy disposition; he was so tempted to just take her right then and there. It took all of the effort he could muster to pull away from those soft lips. “I’m sorry, I … really just came to say good morning,” he said in between breaths.
“Sure … you did,” Ella panted and laughed breathlessly.
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to see you much today,” he said sadly. “My father and I have meetings and things to take care of before we leave.” Liam gulped. “Remember, we have to be, somewhat secretive, just until the social season ends,” he gave her a guilty look. He still kept his arms around her, not wanting to let go just yet. “I’m so sorry about this.”
“It’s alright, I knew what all this entailed. And I know you have things to do today. I have some interview that Bertrand set up so … I’ll be doing that,” she smiled up at him.
“I … can text you though, right?” That sounded so pathetic.
Ella giggled. “You’re so cute. Of course you can.”
Their intimate moment was interrupted by loud knocks at the door. “Ellaaaaaaa! Wake up sleepy heeeeead!”
“That must be Maxwell,” Ella whispered and they laughed. Liam leaned down to kiss her one last time before releasing her.
The door flew open. “Good morning sunshine!” Maxwell bounced into the room and stopped short when he saw Liam. “Hey buddy!” He grinned wide at the both of them.
“Good morning Maxwell,” Liam chuckled. “I need to get going, I’ll see you two later.” He grabbed Ella’s hand and squeezed it before walking out into the hallway.
“He came to … visit you huuuuh?” Max wiggled his eyebrows at Ella and she blushed.
“He just came to say good morning, that’s all.”
“Mmmhmmm. Is that what you crazy kids call it these days?”
She rolled her eyes but ignored his question entirely. “Okay, so I’m assuming you’re here to take me to get breakfast?”
“You are correct! Breakfast, the boutique, and then I’m also supposed to prep you for the interview. Bertrand will be here later to prep you some more!”
“Alright, let me get dressed really quick.”
**
45 minutes later, Max and Ella were eating in the dining hall. “So, what are they going to be asking me anyway?”
Max bit off a piece of bacon. “There’s only one person coming from Trend, her name is Ana de Luca. She’s pretty cool actually, the royal family and the nobles trust her with their interviews. Sometimes she brings Donnie Brine with CBC, but I don’t think he’s coming. She will most likely ask you about where you came from, what you did there, how you met the prince, how you feel about the prince, what would set you apart from the other suitors … things like that.” He shoved another piece of bacon in his mouth and washed it down with some coffee.
“Did you guys want me to be truthful or do you have some script for me to follow?”
Maxwell shook his head. “No, no, no, there’s no script. I’m sure Bertrand will want you to say things about House Beaumont … but, just be yourself. They want to know about Ella! So tell them,” he smiled reassuringly at her and continued eating.
A few hours later, after spending an hour in the boutique with Maxwell throwing all kinds of dresses over the fitting room door, she finally found a dress she loved. A black chiffon midi length dress with purple flowers on the bottom, it had an A-line silhouette and short sleeves. It was elegant enough for a daytime interview with the press, and was also Maxwell and Bertrand approved.
Ella sat in her bedroom with Maxwell, listening to him chatter away next to her about his new awesome playlist that he made. She was feeling her stomach twist with nerves, her hands clasped in her lap and she could feel her palms getting sweaty. She heard footsteps come right outside her door and knew it was Bertrand. Ella took a big breath in and let it out slowly. “You ready, Ella?” Max took her hand and squeezed it. “You’re going to do great!”
They both stood and walked out into the hallway meeting Bertrand and a petite woman with blond hair. “Hello,” Ella smiled.
“Hello, Lady Ella I presume?”
“Yes, Ana, allow me to introduce Lady Ella of House Beaumont. Lady Ella, this is Ana de Luca from Trend Magazine.”
Ella and Ana shook hands. “It’s a pleasure, Lady Ella. We are all very curious to know more about you.”
“Wonderful to meet you, Ana. Where are we having this interview?”
“In one of the ballrooms, I’ve had the crew set up already. Follow me.”
The four headed towards one of the open ballrooms, smaller than the other one Ella had seen a week ago. As they rounded the corner, Ella spotted two women coming towards them. One with jet black hair and the other with flaming red hair. The woman with the dark hair just looked at Ella curiously, while the other woman gave her the death stare. As Ana, Bertrand and Maxwell walked into the ballroom, Ella looked back at both women. The redhead walked up to her and snickered. “Well, well, well, look what we have here.”
#RAMifications#Liam x MC#Liam x Ella#Liam Rys#the royal romance#choices the royal romance#the royal romance fanfic#the royal romance au#choices trr#choices liam x mc#choices trr au#choices liam#pixelberry#play choices#trr fandom#trr fanfic#trr#trr au
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little talks
Donatello x fem! reader
This is a massive self insert because I feel so anxious and some of you told me that mindlessly writing could help so that’s what I’m doing. Hope you like it
summary: You feel like utter shit and don’t know what you need so Donnie comes to the rescue
warnings: non, this is pure fluff
You get into he lair and lay your bag down on the sofa, no one seems to be around and you’re so thankful for that. You feel as though the second someone acknowledges your presence you’ll burst out crying.
It hadn’t been a bad day, far from it, actually. You’d gotten things done, been productive and even indulged in a little bit of self care but when you deal with mental illness bubble baths and face care routines that cost a fortune are a luxury. This is dark shit, where hauling your aching bones out of bed feels like an act of war against the world. You just can’t shake this feeling that the universe is too big and you’re only a tiny atom floating around, afraid of being swallowed alive. Afraid of being consumed.
Your hands are clammy and shaking as you strip off your coat and place it next to your bag. Everything is too much for you right now, you don’t know what you need or what will fix this. You just want everything to go away for a while. A nice dark cave to sit in and ignore the outside would be preferable but the sewers would do just fine for now.
“hey, pet. Long day?” a familiar voice comes from behind you
oh no. Now you have to be a person and interact with the man you love. Not ideal, as mean as that sounds. He tries to give you a hug but you shake him off.
“Not into touching right now” is all you can make out. It sounds so harsh. Short, compact sentences and the look on his face is enough to break your heart but, you feel like if he holds you you’ll shatter.
“ok, noted” he remarks “can we sit, at least?” he gestures to the seat next to him on the sofa. You take your place but can’t make eye contact with him. “what’s wrong?” he asks
“it’s the void, again” you reply, bluntly.
“and what’s the void saying?”
“nothing. everything” you just about make out that last word.
“I need a little more than that, if you can...” he urges.
“I feel like I was born with this...this big black hole inside of me. And it calls out day and night for whatever it wants but it can never be filled. No amount of sex or alcohol or bad coping mechanisms will satiate it but, the whole point of the void is to be filled. What is something that never fills? That can never be emptied?”
You both sit in the silence of what you just said for what feels like forever but was probably only a few moments.
“Have you ever tried just telling it to shut up?” he finally says
“to shut up? How does that work?”
“Give it a face and a name, but no power over you. Make it into a familiar presence, like an old friend who always comes around when they need money. Then look it straight in the eyes and tell it to fuck right off”
it sounds ridiculous but just might work. You smile to yourself at the idea of it. You’d never thought of that before.
“fuck off, void...” you mutter to yourself and you hear a small laugh from next to you. You say it again, slightly louder this time. “fuck off, void!”
It makes you laugh to say it out loud but it kind of works, really. As silly as that sounds, addressing the matter instead of letting it consume you really does work.
You look over to the turtle sitting next to you and give him a gentle smile.
“I think I’m ready for that hug now”
“let’s not push it, how about this?” he hold his hand out to you and you gratefully take it, he rubs his thumb over you hand a few times and looks into your eyes adoringly.
“Now, lets see if the void is also hungry because if I know you, you’ve forgotten to eat”
“the void is starving, and so am I” you giggle.
Hand still in his, you both walk over to the kitchen to root through the cupboards and you feel mildly more relaxed.Still shaky, still anxious but better knowing that you have someone on your team. Less alone and ok with that for once.
“I think Clarence is a good nae for a void” he suddenly says while taking out a packet of bagels.
“so we’re naming him, now?”
“every good villain has a name”
you think on it for a moment. “Clarence it is, then”
He take your face in his hands and looks down at you, his big amber eyes peering into your soul.
“the net time Clarence starting calling out for things, you tell me and we’ll set him right. Together”
“together” you repeat.
You watch him for a few moments, times like this are domestic bliss, just seeing him potter around and do mundane activities. You can’t quite put words to why you like it so much. It’s comforting, maybe, seeing him just be normal and not the hero the city knows him as. You get behind him and wrap your arms around his torso, pressing your face against his shell.
“thank you, Donnie”
“For what? This was all you, darling” you can hear the smile in his voice.
This wouldn’t be the last time that “Clarence” reared his ugly face but, knowing you’re not alone in dealing with him, knowing that you have someone to understand and support your fight helps more than he could ever know.
You take your snacks over to the sofa and you rest your head against his shoulder as you eat, taking in his scent and just enjoying his presence.
fuck off, void... You think to yourself and smile.
Fin
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I Sing the Body Electric 4
Michael
Michael woke up a few days later in an unfamiliar place.
Strangely, he didn’t feel the need to panic.
“Oh. Hey, dude. Didn’t think you’d be able to visit us yet...Well, I mean, visit me”. Michael turned to see the older Mikey in a kneeling position.
“Give me a minute. I’m finishing my prayers,” said Mikey. Michael knelt next to him. He looked at the shrine Mikey was praying to and realized with a sinking feeling...this was a shrine that looks like Gram-gram Karai’s shrine at home.
This one had incense burning in a small holder and had a single picture of a human man, a woman, and a baby. Whoever they are, they must be very important to his brothers in this dimension.
Michael lowered his head and quietly said a prayer just like his father taught him.
When he looked up again, his counterpart closed the shrine and held out a hand to him with a smile.
“Thank you,” Mikey quietly said. “It means a lot man”. Then after a minute, he commented, “I didn’t know you spoke Japanese”
Michael rubbed the back of his head. “I don’t. Dad just started teaching us after our Gram-gram Karai...well, he taught us how to care for her shrine”
Mikey blinked, not sure what to say to that statement. He then led Michael out of what he assumed was a dojo.
“Karai’s your grandmother?”
“Technically she’s our ancestor. We only knew her for a short while but...we love her you know? She’s amazing...was amazing...I...I really wish we could have gotten more time with her”
Michael’s eyes welled up with tears. It still hurts thinking of Gram-gram. He felt a hand on his shoulder.
“I’m so sorry for your loss. Hey, you know what? It’s not the same of course but...umm, our Karai? She’s our eldest sister here”.
Michael brightened up just a little. “Your sister? That’s so cool!”
Mikey chuckled, put on a helmet and pads, and picked up his skateboard. They headed toward the kitchen then Mikey put out a hand for them to stop.
They could hear arguing that was getting louder coming from the kitchen. Mikey sighed then looked at Michael and gave him a pained smile. “We can skip the kitchen for now. You don’t need to see that”. He turned a confused Michael around in the other direction.
“Where are we going?” Michael asked. He noticed this lair was very somber, with a lot of grey tones.
“To give Donnie the heads up,” Mikey replied. They reached an enclosure that was probably the entrance to Donnie’s lab.
Mikey knocked on the door. There was no answer. Mikey sighed. He knocked again. “Donnie”.
Nothing.
Mikey knocked louder this time, “Hey, Donnie-”
Loud footsteps came crashing and something violently wrenched the door open.
“STOP IT WITH THE RACKET. WHAT DO YOU WANT!?”
Donnie looked furious, eyes much more bloodshot red, and he was jittery with his mask off.
Michael hid behind Mikey. Mikey’s eyes widened, hurt. Then he narrowed them and shot out a hand putting Michael firmly behind him.
Donnie seemed to realize that it was Mikey that he shouted at and he shrinks back putting his hand up.
“I-I didn’t mean...Mikey...I-,” sputtered Donnie.
Mikey looked away. “You might wanna avoid the kitchen. Raph and Leo are at it again”. Mikey turned and walked away from his brother.
A hand shot out and grabbed Mikey’s wrist. Mikey didn’t bother to look back. “Mikey…Please…I’m sorry”
“Are you really? Then what, the next time I come by, you’ll shout at me to ‘Get the fuck out’ like the last time I tried to talk to you?”, Mikey spat.
Donnie shook his head, “No! I’m sorry about that time...I was stressed and-”
“You’re always stressed, Donnie. Is that really an explanation or is that an excuse? You need help, man”
Michael watched Donnie slowly let go of his brother. Mikey walked away without looking back. Michael stared at Donnie’s distraught and heartbroken expression. His eyes widened when he saw Donnie scratched at a scale on his arm then pulled it out making it bleed. Donnie didn’t seem to notice.
Michael scrambled after Mikey, “Hey...um...Your brother… Donnie...he...his arm… his arm is bleeding”
Mikey winced...then pushed on. “He gets mad when you point it out to him and does it some more. The best thing to do is ignore it”.
Michael shook his head, “Dude, no. That’s not…”
“I know. Just...just leave it. Please,” Mikey said quietly. Michael stopped and looked at his counterpart in concern. Mikey sighed and patted Michael’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s have some fun”
---
“Dude...Is--Is this safe?” Michael asked, eyes wide at the steep drop of the building. Mikey adjusted his helmet and pads. Then he positioned his skateboard over the edge.
“It is! Think of this as a huge half-pipe, yeah?” Mikey said excitedly.
Michael frowned. “Sure….but it’s made of glass…”
“Plexi. It’s pretty sturdy. Here, I’ll do a run so you can stop worrying,” Mikey bumped shoulders with Michael. He positioned himself on the skateboard.
But before Michael could stop him, their surroundings suddenly changed.
“Woah!!!”
They both landed on their bums and looked at their surroundings. It looked like they were inside the sewers again...except this time it’s spacious with lots of clear water flowing through.
Mikey helped Michael up and looked around.
“Oooh. It looks like the lair except it isn’t as colorful as your home but it isn’t...um...grey as mine”
“You think this is Mike’s home? Let’s find him!”
“Yeah!”
“Race ya!”
The two orange-clad boys ran off giggling and chasing each other. They soon found a large area and heard voices.
“So, can you tell us why you called us here? Is it because of the kids you guys said you have been “visiting” lately?”
Mikey put up a finger to his lips and Michael nodded as they quietly sneaked closer to the group they now realize were the four Splinterson brothers and two humans.
The lady with fire red hair leaned on a table and said excitedly, “And can you tell us what they’re like? Please? The last dimensional versions of us were older”
Mike came out with beer bottles in both his hands and passed them around. Leonardo chuckled and nursed his bottle. “Really young. Although one Leo just turned eighteen, the other is just fourteen. Why do you want to know, April, Casey?”.
“That’s their April and Casey?” Michael asked, surprised. Mikey tilted his head. “They look like ours….but a lot older”. Michael blinked, “Really!?” “Shh!”
April took a swig of her beer, “Professional curiosity. Not like Donatello will tell us what he’s working on”
Donatello was on a table, tinkering with something. “Believe it or not, a stable portal to each other’s dimensions,” he explained without looking up. “Don and Donnie are working on a portal on their end”.
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” Michael whispered gleefully. Mikey looked away thoughtfully. “I guess that’s why he’s much more irritable as of late”. Michael stopped hand waving and frowned. “You...You don’t mean that, right Mikey?”. Mikey sighed, “Yeah...sorry”.
“Don and Donnie, huh? You guys gave them nicknames already?” Casey said amusedly. Raphael clinked their bottles together as he passed by.
“Makes it easier to figure out who’s who,” Raphael said. He settled next to Leonardo who, to Mikey and Michael’s surprise, took out a cigarette and lit it.
“Not in the lab, Leo,” Donatello reprimanded without looking up. Leonardo moved to an open window.
“Sorry, Donny. Anyway, April, what were you asking again?”
“You were talking about the other Turtles! Tell me about them, please guys? What do they look like? How are they different from you?”
Leonardo chuckled. “Well for starters, one set of turtles are different species and ages from each other”
“Oh my gosh! Really? I'd love to see that!”
“Same! Ah man, that must be awkward tho, huh? They probably don’t have that much in common with each other…”
Raphael looked at Leonardo and smirked. “Actually, the kids are really close. Like their own Raphie is the biggest, the eldest, and their current leader-” “Oh my gosh!” “What, no way!” “Yeah- I know! But he’s such a good kid. His brothers are very protective of him and him of them. He’s a lot calmer too. Must be because all his brothers are different types of hyper-”
“So he offsets them!” April finished, her eyes shining. “He sounds amazing!”
“He is! He knitted sweaters for Klunk and Raph’s Chomper-”
Mike put down his beer bottle eyes wide and a touched smile on his face, “He did? That’s--wow. What a sweet kid”.
“I know! Let me finish. He also gave Leonardo his blessing to train Leon to take over as leader sometimes...speaking of which--,” Raphael, Mike, and Donny put down what they were doing and glared at their brother. “---Leo, I hope you didn’t give the kid a hard time. He was acting out at the table”
Leonardo lifted his hands in frustration, almost dropping his cigarette. “It wasn’t me!” He sighed. “But you’re right. I didn’t do anything to stop Leon and Leo from fighting and it turned into a huge misunderstanding...I’m sorry”. He put his free hand on Raphael's shoulder. “Good thing Raphie was there, huh? You all should have seen it. Leon...Leon’s a good kid but he’s...he’s so carefree. But I can see so much potential in him, and Raphie confirmed it. The kid is a natural- it’s a shame I also see he doesn’t know how to follow instructions or doesn’t have that much confidence in himself--”
Mike came over and nudged his brother’s shoulders. “He’s a teenager . An actual teenager living his best life. From what I see, their Splinter raised them as actual kids instead of ninjas”. He looked wistful, “I’m so happy for them”.
Michael looked down, red in the face. He felt a pat on the head and he turned to see Mikey, also smiling wistfully, “Don’t be sad, man. That’s a good thing”. Michael looked confused, “But...what does that mean?”. Mikey doesn’t answer him.
Leonardo smiled, “Heh. You’re right, Mike. I’m happy for the kid too. As for Leo...the kid is quite capable and knowledgeable but...something’s off. Like really off, I can feel it. I hope the two of them won’t resent me too much when I train with them”.
Raphael leaned back and sighed, “Same with Raph. He’s actually a quiet kid but I could feel something’s wrong. I could feel the anger and frustration but I don’t think it was at me or Raphie. Like it was directionless and directed everywhere”
Leonardo took a drag of his cigarette and smiled wryly at his brother. “Looks like you’ll have to guide him, Raphael”. Raphael rolled his eyes and chuckled.
They all looked over at Donatello. Donatello continued working. April poked him. “Come on Donny, spill-”
“No”
“What? Why?”
“Patient-Doctor Confidentiality”
Raphael frowned. “The kids aren’t our clients-”
“Even more reason to not say anything. It’s not any of our business-”
It was Mike who interrupted. “That’s all well and good, Donny, but as your brothers, don’t think we do not notice how your arm bleeds or your recent sliced thumb the last time we visited the kids”.
Raphael and Leonardo got up in alarm. Mikey looked down and glared at the floor, frustrated. Donatello sighed in annoyance. “It’s fine. I’ll handle it”.
Mike frowned, “If you say so. But if you need help-”. This time Donatello looked up and gave his brother a fond smile, “Yeah, don’t worry. If it’s too much, I’ll ask for your help”.
Raphael shook his head. “Or mine. It sounds like my area of expertise too”. Donatello went back to what he was working on. “It’s better if I handle it. They open up quicker and better to someone familiar. Even if that person is a different version of themselves”
April tapped her chin, “I don’t want to diagnose without getting the full picture but...it sounds like sensory overload that is triggered due to...something. Stress is a factor but another could be trauma-”
Donatello shook his head, “April, I’m sorry but what did we all agree on in early diagnosis?”
April rubbed her arms sheepishly. “Sorry, Donny. I can’t help it. How about you Mike?”
Mike turned his head and was about to reply… then he swiveled his head in the direction of Mikey and Michael and grinned. The boys gulped.
“I could tell you, but I think it’s better if they can explain themselves. Boys, come out”
Michael rushed out and hugged Mike. Mike gave out a laugh and a slight “Oof. Hey, bud”, while Mikey lagged behind. Mike put a hand on Mikey’s head and rubbed it. Mikey chirred quietly in response. Michael chirred back happily.
“Woah, ASL, Japanese, and Turtle speak. You guys are really talented, you know that?” Mike commented, impressed.
“Ooh! They’re here? How are they? Are they alright? How did they feel when they traveled here?” Casey asked intrigued. April rocked on her heels excited, “Hi kids! You probably have guessed but I’m April O’Neil and this is my husband, Casey Jones! You’re welcome to our humble home any day”
“Wow! Casey and April are married here? Tell them I give my thanks, Mike,” Michael cheered and he hopped up and down excitedly.
“Married...Woah...uh...um tell them thanks! I’d love to meet them face to face,” Mikey said.
Mike relayed what the boys said and April clapped her hands excitedly. “I can’t wait to meet you all! When Donny finishes the portal anyway”
“Actually-”
“What’re your hobbies? I’d love to get to know you!”
Mike grinned, “Little Michael here-” “Hey!” “who is a smidge smaller than me, is a really good cook. You should see him in the kitchen. He also uses a kusari-fundo instead of nunchakus, am I right?”
“And saws! But I can use nunchucks too when I use ninpo-”
“And Mikey here is a master prankster like me. He can dance and is really creative. Come on dude, own it! Also, you’re like what 5’6? I’m a 5’4 man. You’re tall, kid. And you’ll grow even more I bet”
Mikey slightly retreated into his shell, embarrassed. Michael nodded enthusiastically.
“They’re both good skateboarders. Must have gotten it from me-Hey, Raph, not cool!”
Leonardo chuckled because Raphael had thrown a well-aimed grape.
Michael kept bouncing up and down. “This is so, so cool!”
Mikey put a steadying hand on Michael, “What were you guys saying about clients and diagnosis and stuff?”
“Hey guys, the kids wanna know about our day jobs. Is that cool?”
When Donny, Leonardo, and Raphael nodded their heads, Mike replied, “We’re therapists, and April and Casey work in the same field too. Analyzing behavioral patterns come out naturally to us”
Mikey scrunched his nose while Michael let out an “Oooo!”. “That’s...cool? What do you guys do?”.
Mike patted his plastron proudly and gave a huge grin. “I’m a certified youth and school counselor! I deal with kids from all walks of life regularly”
Raphael collected his and Leonardo’s empty bottles. “I’m a physical trainer with certification in both exercise and trauma work. I handle physical and mental recovery from...er...really bad stuff”.
Leonardo put out his cigarette and threw it away. “I’m a social worker. I handle displaced and marginalized people in the city. I also am sensei to….a bunch of rowdy mutant kids”.
Donny put down his work to reach for something glowing. “I’m a behavioral therapist with some overlap in trauma. I deal with the rehabilitation of mental health disorders”
Casey scratched the back of his head. “Mine is a bit complicated. Closest I can get is nutritional and exercise therapy. You...you cannot believe the things people do to their bodies,” he shuddered.
“I’m a psychiatrist with a specialty in pharmaceutics. Anything that needs medicine, I supply”
Michael was gob-smacked, but Mikey looked confused. “I’m surprised but...why would ninja need to do all that stuff?”
Mike gave the boys a sad smile. “Because there is an influx of mutants in the city and see, there aren't a lot of people willing to help them or the humans lower in the social ladder who desperately need help”. He gestured to his brothers and sister. “So we did what we could and stepped up. We’re kind of all they have at the moment”.
Both Mikey and Michael stared at their counterpart in a new light and deep admiration. Mike scratched his cheek in embarrassment.
“And I have never been prouder, my dear children. The battlefield has changed, and so you all adapted in ways I have never expected,” said a soft voice.
Out from the shadows, a grey rat hobbled towards them all. He took Raphael’s outstretched arm and sat in front of Michael.
“From what I have gathered, you apparently have guests, Michelangelo”
“Yes, Master Splinter. You can’t see them but Michael and Mikey are here. They are very young, father”
“I see? How old?”
“Mikey and his brothers are eighteen. Michael is thirteen and is the youngest of his brothers”
April gasped and put a hand over her mouth while Casey sucked in a horrified breath. Splinter closed his eyes.
“Each iteration gets younger and younger. I grieve for the innocence lost, and I am sorry”
Both Michael and Mikey looked down solemnly.
“It is a shame I cannot see or hear them-”
“Excuse me, Father, but this is what I have been trying to say since earlier,” Donatello interrupted. He gave a grin and pulled out seven crystal wristbands and pointed to a floating, glowing, orb. Donatello looked to the side and chuckled as if he responded to something only he could hear.
“The portals are done and stabilized on all our ends. We can now visit each other”
#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt 2003#rottmnt#tmnt 2k12#tmnt fanfiction#arc 1 done#therapists 2003 tortols#a bit of angst with 2k12 donnie and mikey#april o'neil#tmnt leonardo#tmnt raphael#tmnt donatello#chapters
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A Talk
A Rottmnt Fanfic
He felt useless.
Hours before, he and his brothers had encountered a new mutant. They of course had to fight them since the mutant attacked first, but the slider felt like he hadn't done anything. Donnie and Mikey attacked the creature from both sides as Raph hit it from its front. The battle was supposed to end with Leo making a portal to send the beast away from them, that way the city would be safe once again.
But things just had to go wrong, didn't they?
As Leo swung his sword to create the portal, nothing had happened. The sparks shot out of his odachi like normal, but the portal hadn't formed. Standing there like the complete idiot that he knew he was, he looked at his brothers in fear.
Raph had noticed this and he decided to take matters elsewhere.
He told Leo to work on the portal while Donnie and Mikey helped him lead the mutant somewhere else. They had left Leo alone with his thoughts and his sword, and that didn't exactly make the slider feel any better.
Leo tried to create a portal, but nothing had worked. He knew that he had to focus, but that same voice in his head kept coming back and it just distracted him more.
"Come on..." Leo muttered. "Make a portal already!"
You're such a failure.
That voice was back again. That sentence would be engraved into Leo's mind and he tried to ignore it, but it would just get louder and louder. Sometimes it got to where Leo couldn't hear anything else.
His brothers had returned back to him cheering, and that made Leo feel even worse.
Nothing. He did nothing to contribute to the fight. He had one chance and he blew it.
He had masked it behind his smiles and one-liners, so his brothers didn't think anything was wrong. Leo knew this would happen, and that's why he did it, so that his brothers didn't see how weak he really was.
But now it was hours later; 2:05 in the morning to be exact, and the slider was wide awake while his mind wandered. It kept going back to the fight, and that chant was still in his mind.
You're such a failure. No wonder your family doesn't trust you.
His family did trust him though!
Right?
Most of the time they did... But...
Leo groaned as he looked up to the ceiling of his bedroom. He grabbed his phone from his desk to check the time again as he stood up and put all of his gear on. He grabbed his odachi from the corner of his room and walked out towards the entrance of the lair.
He needed someone to talk to. His brothers were definitely out of the question, and he knew that April wouldn't be up at this time, so that left only one person.
~~~~~
As he served the last customer and waved goodbye to them, the skeleton let out a sigh. It had been a busy day today; it seemed like everyone had wanted a slice of pizza from his restaurant. He didn't blame them though, the pizza was just that good.
As he flipped the sign on the door to "I'm sorry, we're closed.", he walked over to the tables to start cleaning up. It was then when he heard an knock on the door and sighed. Some customers just couldn't take a hint. The sign was clearly up, and they just had to ignore it, didn't they?
Hueso had done this before though. He would go through the same old speech and say that the restaurant was close and to come back tomorrow, and if he was lucky he would get the understanding customers and they would leave.
"I'm so sorry, but we're close," he said as he walked towards the door. "Please come back-"
He stopped as he looked at who was standing on the other side.
"Pepino?" He questioned as he unlocked the door. Leo looked to be in pretty bad shape. He had bags under his eyes and he was shivering pretty badly. The temperature was extremely cold today, and it had only gotten colder that night. His face also seemed to be wet, but it hadn't been raining. No other part of him was wet either, so what had happened-
Oh... Hueso thought to himself. Is it one of those nights again?
"Hey, bone man," Leo said with a small smile. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Sure," Hueso said as he let the slider in. "You look terrible."
"Wow, thanks," Leo said sarcastically.
"I don't mean like that," the skeleton replied as he led Leo to a table. "Are you feeling ok?"
Leo looked up at Hueso and opened his mouth to speak, but he closed it quickly. He waved his hand as he sat down at the table; dismissing the skeleton's question.
"Busy day, huh?" Leo smiled as he looked around the room. "The restaurant's a mess."
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't exhausted," Hueso replied. He knew that Leo was trying to avoid his question, and at the moment he would let off on asking the slider if he was alright. He had to coast into the question instead of just saying it suddenly.
"Are you hungry?" Hueso asked him. Leo looked up and smiled, shaking his head slightly.
"I don't wanna put more work on you," he said softly.
"Since when have you ever felt that way before?" Hueso chuckled. "Just tell me what you want and I'll make it."
The slider smiled again as he ordered his food and waited patiently for Hueso to come back with it.
As he sat though, he couldn't help but have his mind wander back to the previous fight they had earlier.
Why did his sword have to be so stubborn? Why couldn't it work like his brothers' weapons?
Or was it not the sword that was the problem, but instead it was him?
Don't blame the game, blame the player...
A saying that Leo knew a little too well. He would say it all the time when he would play video games with his brothers, and his mind would chant it to him whenever he was dealing with moments like this.
Why did you come here? You're only making things worse.
But he wasn't trying to make things worse! He had only come here to seek help from Hueso.
You're taking up his precious time. He only let you in out of pity.
But Hueso didn't even know why he was here... Right?
Hueso was always nice enough to let the turtles in, even after hours. But Leo felt so sure that he was cutting in on the skeleton's time that he couldn't think straight.
He was the worse. The absolute worse, and even more he was a complete failure.
~~~~~
"Pizza's done!" Hueso called out why carrying out the food. "Sorry it took so long, I was trying to-"
He stopped as he looked over to Leo's table, seeing that the slider's head was down and he was shaking.
"Pepino?" He asked concerned. He walked over to the table and placed down the pizza as he put his hand on Leo's shoulder.
"Are you ok?"
Leo looked up slowly and wiped his eyes as Hueso frowned. He could see that Leo had been crying for quite some time now since his eyes were red. Hueso's frown only deepened; he looked so sad, and it was hard to look at one of his most cheery customers like this.
"Yeah... I- I'm fine..." Leo answered with a sniffle.
"You're clearly not, Leo," Hueso replied as he sat down beside the blue masked turtle. "Did something happen?"
Leo didn't answer and Hueso sighed softly. He was going to have to do this the hard way, meaning that he would have to guess.
"Did something happen to your brothers?" He asked. He got a head shake from Leo and smiled softly.
At least he knew that his brothers were safe now.
"Did you fight with them?" Hueso questioned; earning another shake of his head.
"Did you loose something?" Hueso asked. Leo then chuckled slightly and that made Hueso smile a little.
"It'll take you all night to figure it out at this rate," Leo replied.
"Well then, are you going to tell me?" The skeleton asked.
"I guess I have to now," Leo answered quietly.
He sighed as he began to speak again.
"Am I... Do you think I'm useless?" He asked as he turned towards Hueso.
"What?! No!" Hueso responded in shock. "Why would you ask such a thing?"
"Because I'm useless..." Leo sighed. "I can't do anything for the team, I have no special talent, and I'm a failure. So what's the point of helping my brothers if they can manage just fine without me?"
Hueso sat quietly as he thought about what Leo had said. He didn't realize how bad the slider had been feeling. Calling himself useless and a failure meant that he didn't believe in himself, and Hueso didn't like seeing Leo in this state.
He looked over at Leo and saw him facing the other direction. He realized that he still hadn't answered the slider's question, so he cleared his throat and started to speak.
"Leo, you are not a failure," Hueso began. "If anything, you're a hero."
Leo scoffed at Hueso's statement. He looked up and stared.
"How am I a hero?" He asked.
"Well for one thing, you save the city of New York every day," the skeleton replied. "And when your brothers need help, you are so quick to helping and or giving them advice."
Leo listened quietly as Hueso continued.
"You also have many talents," Hueso said. "You can cheer up anyone when they are feeling down, you bring out the best in people, and you're great at making up plans on the spot. And aren't you the doctor of your family?"
"Yeah," Leo responded.
"Then that's another thing you do to help your family out," Hueso smiled.
"But I fail so many times," Leo said with a sigh. "I failed today in a battle. I had one chance to make a portal to send away a mutant, and I blew it."
"Everyone fails in their lives at some point," Hueso said. "Even me."
"Oh really?" Leo looked up. "Like when?"
"Remember when I had to call you and your orange brother here since I scheduled for the Makers of Brutality and the Master of Barbarianism to dine on the same night?" Hueso asked, which earned a smile from the slider.
"Yeah," Leo chuckled. "Those were some rough guys to deal with."
"Exactly," Hueso smiled. "Everyone makes mistakes and or 'fails' at times, but that doesn't make you a failure."
Leo smiled at Hueso and looked down at his pizza. He took a slice and ate it while he smiled the whole time.
"Thanks, bone man," Leo replied after eating another slice. "For the pizza, I mean."
"Sure, Pepino," Hueso chuckled. "But just know that if you need anything, my door is always open."
"That's not really true though," Leo laughed. "Because it was locked when I came here."
"That's not what I-" Hueso groaned, but he then began to chuckle.
He could yell at Leo any other time. But for now, he was just happy to see the slider back to his usual self.
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt fanfic#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt leo#rottmnt raph#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt hueso
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