#December 17 2022
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Dogstomp #2908 - December 17th
Patreon / Discord Server / Itaku
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Joel was sweeping the snow out of his house (damn those snowmen that kept popping up, tracking snow into everyone’s houses), when someone landed behind him.
“Ah, Papa Cheeks, is it?”
Joel turned around to find a wide-eyed man standing before him. “Well, only Sausage gets to call me that- how on earth do you know it?”
“Ah, forgive me.” The man put his hand to his chest. “I am Keralis, I was one of the hermits who was in your wonderful empire lands. I stayed with Papi Sausage in Sanctuary, we had a wonderful time together.” Keralis held out a hand.
Joel shook it, squinting at the man. “You know, I don’t really remember seeing you about.”
“Ah, yes.” Keralis shook his head, cupping Joel’s hand with both of his own. “Well, if I am to be honest, and I am an honest man, I only stayed with the lovely Sausage for a week, and it was quite the pleasurable week, indeed.”
“Yeah, I bet.” Joel muttered, looking Keralis up and down.
“But then, I was called to another realm, as you all call them, and I had to go. But I am back, both with my hermits and new friends such as yourself, Papa Cheeks.” Keralis said, ending his statement with a wink. “But, as it were, I have some, ah, apologies to make. My princess is very upset with me, and I need a present to make it up to him.”
“Present? Well, you’ve come to the right god!” Joel said, breaking away from Keralis’ grasp and lead him over to a chest. “I happen to be quite good at making children. Head, armor stand, the standard stuff. And they’re gift-wrappable too, you just gotta make sure there’s a few air holes.”
“I heard of your skills from your baby daddy.” Keralis purred. “You are quite correct, I was looking for a child, as I’ve read that fixes most relationship problems.”
“You’re so right.” Joel said, lying through his teeth. He went through the whole process of making the child, including the running around and shouting. When the child was finished, Joel held them in his arms and held out his hand to Keralis.
“So, that’ll be three diamond blocks, please.”
Keralis made a tisk tisk noise. “Ah, well, Papa Cheeks, that is a mighty price… you are a guest in these lands, after all.”
Joel rolled his eyes. “Oh please, I know you hermits are all loaded. And no amount of sweet talking can change my mind. I’m not Sausage.”
“Ah, ah, ah, now, now, let’s not be rude or hasty…” Keralis said, taking a few steps forward, until he was uncomfortably close to Joel. “Look into my eyes, nothing but my eyes…”
“What are you- oh.” Joel couldn’t help himself. He looked right into those wide eyes, and they were mesmerizing. Joel couldn’t look away, didn’t want to look away. His mind felt floaty, and his jaw fell slack.
“Now, about that price…” Keralis said, voice low and dominating.
“Yeah. Free for you.” Joel found himself saying. He didn’t know why he said it, but it must have been the right thing to do. His hands moved of their own accord, handing Keralis the child.
“Clever girl….”
It was the last thing Joel heard before he passed out.
——
“Princess!”
xB scoffed. “Don’t even, Keralis. I’m still mad at you.”
“But I have a gift for you!” Keralis said cheerfully.
“Bribery?” xB asked, looking up and almost choking on his own spit in surprise. Keralis was holding a child in his arms.
“Keralis.”
“xB. My princess.”
“What is that.”
Keralis set the child down, and they went off to investigate a small slime that was bouncing around xB’s cavern.
“That is a child. For you. And I. A present to you, Princess!” Keralis spread his arms wide as if wanting a hug.
xB stared at Keralis, then at the child, then back at Keralis, mouth open. “You’re kidding, right? I- where on earth did you even get a child? Did you steal it?”
“Well, no, well, yes, okay, listen, Princess. I knew you were mad, and I heard about a new shop that had popped up from one of the empires guys, a god named Joel. He makes children out of armor stands, and very kindly made one for us!”
“Very kindly… Keralis, did you use your eyes on him?” xB asked. The child wandered back over and tugged on xB’s pants. xB picked them up without really thinking about it, bouncing them around as he stared at Keralis.
“Ah, well, yes, I did. It was expensive! And it was Sausage’s baby daddy, so I felt it was only right.” Keralis replied.
“Oh, here we go again, Sausage this, Sausage that!” xB said, rolling his eyes. He wasn’t actually mad, but he couldn’t help yanking on Keralis’ chain about it.
“Ah! Princess, I am sorry! Let me- I’ll get you another child right now!”
“No, oh my god, Keralis good lord no!” xB tried to stop him, but Keralis was already gone.
#December 17 2022#fic#Keralis#smallishbeans#xbcrafted#long post#bit of a weird one lol#suggestive#bc it’s Keralis and Joel what can I say
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Today's Card Is: 7 of Cups
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#art#digital art#i hope you have a good day today#ibispaintx#it's a doodle noodle#for fun#December 17 2022#aviisick13#avii
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351/365 👣
#daily mort#december 17 2022#so my prompt for this one was mort celebrates julianuary#but then i realized i don't know how they celebrate besides giving gifts to julien and dancing#the former not being mort-centric enough and the latter not holiday exclusive#so then i was gonna put him in the trenches hiding from the marauding red night goblin but that seemed mean#so we get mort with his lil war drum#which doubles as little drummer boy mort uwu#merry mortmas#canon inspired#anna's faves
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I'm Ready..... 😊
Alright Austin & Lizzo.... Let's see what you all got tonight on SNL lol... 😏
.
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I know one thing, Austin has a tough act to follow after last week's show hosted by the OG's Steve Martin & Martin Short. Their opening monologue was actually quite funny lol. 😅
youtube
Maybe it's just me, but I actually liked seeing two hosts hosting at the same time. I hope they will do that more often in future shows lol.
Anyway, I hope Austin does well. 😊 He's also hosting the last SNL show of the month, as well as the last SNL show of the YEAR...lol.....
No pressure!! lol 😅
😅
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What: Lululemon Wunder Puff Jacket in Sunset Orange - $223.20
Where: Out & About in LA - December 17, 2022
Worn with: Nike Air sneakers
#lucy hale#lucy hale style#lucy hale fashion#Lululemon#jackets#2022#december 2022#december 17 2022#out & about 2022#out & about#fashion#riverdale
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There are only 2 genders. Change my mind. - 👤
me: "So... what is this person's gender?" them: "Oh, they're non-binary." me: *sigh* "What sex are they?? Do they have a penis or a vagina?" them: "Non-binary, and I'm not gross enough to check. What is so hard to understand about that and what is wrong with you?"
December 17 2022
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mmm i took a nap from like 2-4pm today woke up for some hours (in the hopes i would stay awake after dinner). ate dinner. watched a movie with my mom and dad. got on the couch and fell sleep after a couple hours. like i was like forcing myself to stay awake.
so i went to bed at like 11pm and i’ve just been wide fucking awake reading. like i started to drift off around 1am i think but then i woke myself up and have just kept reading. and then when i stop i still just can’t get my brain off so i just go back to reading lol
i’m not like overly concerned cause i’m working the next three nights so i’m gonna be up all night those nights lol it’s just annoying. and i know part of why i have this problem is that i don’t want to miss out on hours i’m home and not having to work
i also had to buy two new freaking tires yesterday like i knew i would ugh
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Another morning gone, to thoughts of you, your tea left on the counter, cold.
Another winter night, another sentiment remembered. The fire doesn't burn as warm. I wish you could have stayed.
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He's
Just
Doing
This
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Mom told me that one of her co-workers messed up with medication yesterday and nearly killed someone and Mom acted like her co-worker crying the rest of the day was over-reacting. Why did I have to get stuck with a soulless freak?
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The rift, forever a source of mystery and chaos, was shrinking. Yeah. Shrinking.
It had been, what, like a week since the hermits had come back through the rift, and the empires guys had followed? Well, no rest for the rift, apparently, as it was very clearly shrinking now.
When Grian had noticed the change, he’d done what any normal person would do- he noped out of his basement and simply ignored the issue, instead going to prank Scar and drinking so much of Bdubs’ seasonal hot chocolate that he got kicked out of the coffee shop.
The rift investigation procrastination only ended when Grian seriously considered working on the back of his megabase, having done everything else possible to avoid said rift issues. That shook him to his core, and he headed down to his basement, a cold dread washing over him.
“What are you up to?” He asked Grumbot, landing in front of his machine, purposefully avoiding looking at whatever state the rift was in now. He looked up into Grumbot’s face, but there was nothing to be disconcerted from it. Just aimless flashing lights and buttons.
Gritting his teeth, Grian turned around to a blank stone wall. His heart sank for just a moment, before he caught sight of the one-block hole right near the ground, which still shone with that purple portal stuff.
“Oh no.” Grian whispered. He thought of the empires fellas, of the beautiful lands that were on the other side of that portal somewhere. If the rift was gone… what then?
And then, there was a faint squeaking sound, like metal wheels turning. A faint rumbling, one that was all-too familiar to any person who has, at the very least, loved villagers before. And through the one block of rift that remained came a minecart, which stopped with no rail to continue.
Grian slowly walked towards the rift and the minecart, heart racing and that awful curiosity-killed-the-cat (or bird, in the case) feeling that always seemed to get him in trouble.
There was a chest inside the minecart, and Grian opened it. Inside was a note, which read:
Hello?
-Mumbo Jumbo
Grian gasped. “No way! What? I- Mumbo?” He dropped the note and began mining at the wall where the rift had been. But it was just crumbling purple and black material, and lead nowhere. “No, no! Mumbo, are you here?” He called, but there was no answer. He looked back to the minecart and the rift. A sense of déjà vu rushed through him, and he knew what had to be done. He dug around in his chests and found a scrap of paper. In shaky, quick handwriting he wrote:
Mumbo? Is that you?
-Grian
He placed his note inside the chest, closing it and pushing the minecart through the rift. It vanished at once, and Grian sank to the floor, holding Mumbo’s note to his chest. Mumbo! His Mumbo! Well, okay-
Now that he had a moment to actually pay attention, there was something… odd, about the note. It looked like Mumbo’s handwriting, a kind of scrabbling cursive mess, but there were minuscule differences that no one would notice, unless that person was Grian, who had spent a good part of season seven sending notes back and fourth to the man. There wasn’t that unnecessary loop in the “e”, and his signature looked nicer then Mumbo’s ever had.
“This is ridiculous.” Grian said. “Someone’s got to be playing a cruel joke on… me…” As he said it, the minecart came back through the rift, landing neatly in front of him. He opened the chest without really thinking about it, so desperate for that new note.
Yes. It is me. It’s been a long time, Grian.
Grian shut his eyes tight, letting out some kind of choked laugh-cry. It had been a long time. It seemed less and less possible that this was some kind of prank, or perhaps it was just the desperation clinging onto any hope. Grian found another bit of paper and began to write.
It has been. I miss you, Mumbo. Where are you? Are you in the rift?
He sent it off with his heart in his throat, trying to remind himself that Mumbo was a slow answerer, to remember the disappointment in season seven where he rarely answered at all.
But that didn’t happen. Instead, notes came back within fifteen minutes of Grian sending one, each one as engaging as the last. Grian lost a week sitting in front of the rift, just staring into the small, swirling remains of the rift, waiting for Mumbo’s responses, with a stack of paper ready to go.
They talked about many things, mostly reminiscing and Grian telling him all about the empires server and the king and even the diamond pillar war. Mumbo kept saying he missed Grian, that it wasn’t the same without him.
Perhaps Grian should have seen it coming, what Mumbo was really after. But he was so caught up in it all that it came as a surprise when a note came that read:
Come through the rift in the minecart. Notes aren’t enough anymore.
Grian looked at the note in confusion, then at the one-block high rift opening.
I won’t fit. And how do I know this isn’t some kind of trap?
He sent the minecart back, a sudden clarity shooting through him, like someone had dumped water on his head. He was sore and cold, the hard stone of his basement floor having sapped the heat from his body a long time ago. He looked at the dozens of notes laying around him, all in that almost-Mumbo handwriting.
He looked to Grumbot, who was just as still and quiet as he’d always been. Not exactly Mumbo and Grian’s son. Perhaps this Mumbo was the same? Mumbo was mayor in Grumbot’s world, and Grumbot had come through the rift…
The too-familiar rattling of wheels on rails broke through Grian’s thoughts, and he scooped the new note out of the chest without a moment’s hesitation.
I would never hurt you, Grian.
Grian stood up, sucking in a painful breath. It was Mumbo, Mumbo would never hurt him, not in ways that mattered. In every world, they had to be friends, right? And friends would never lie to each other, right?
Perhaps it was desperation. Or the person on the other side, Mumbo or not, was more manipulative then Grian could imagine. But either way, Grian was never known to fully flesh out a plan, much less with his own safety in mind.
And so, with the final note from Mumbo clutched tight in his hand, he sat in the minecart, scooting it forward until the heavy feeling of the rift was upon him. He closed his eyes, not knowing who or what was going to be on the other side. All he could hope was that his Mumbo Jumbo, however he was, was waiting for him.
#December 17 2022#fic#hc9#grian#Mumbo jumbo mention#the rift#Grumbot mention#long post#hiii sorry for vanishing off the face of the earth I got sick:(#feeling better now tho
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Harry is allegedly flying back HOME from LA to London tonight Dec 17 2022 (x)
#harry in LA#harry flying#harry december 2022#harry at LAX#i'm going home i'm going#dec 17 2022#dec 2022
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girlfriends
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