Idk who needs to hear this but I definitely do so here we go.

You can't be perfect.

There's no such thing as perfection. There will always be be room for improvement. This can apply to a lot of things: who you are as a person, things you write, draw, whatever. It will never be perfect. So keep growing and learning and improving.

if you keep telling yourself "I'll wait until I get better at this" you'll never do anything because you were only waiting. So do it now.

You can look back and see how much you've grown. Even if it seems like barely anything, it's better than nothing at all.

<3

Ep 209 | The Merry Writer Podcast

In today’s episode, Rachel and I share our own dealings with perfectionism and discuss some methods that can help when dealing with it. “How Do You Deal With The Problem of Perfectionism?” Continue reading Ep 209 | The Merry Writer Podcast

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I know being perfect is impossible, but I still struggle. Being a perfectionist won’t actually fix anything, because you won’t be able to get anything done if you can’t ever finish it before it’s perfect. Perfection is relative to people’s subjective opinions, so how can you please everyone you meet? Trying so hard to please other people won’t make you more successful, more useful, or worthy of love. But it will make you feel lonely and burnt out, and you will become even more frustrated on your own failure, even though needing rest is such a human thing. Being a perfectionist is exhausting.

Maybe other people don’t have the same high expectations you set for yourself, maybe no one is judging you as harshly as you judge yourself, maybe no one cares as much about the smallest detail of the things you do because they too are worried about their little mistakes and are afraid of failing as well.

All you can do is try. No matter the outcome, what matters most is to try.

Watering down Sweetheart's family a smidge since I know I once said heroics run in the family but like...I want to still have Glitter and Guilt be a story about a black magical girl and sort of the wonder of her life going from mundane to magical and how that's affected her and it's hard to go from that mundane to wonderous thing when it's sort of established that her normal was having supers in the family.

OBVIOUSLY there wasn't a ton of super heroes in her family initially, I honestly only have like....1 that is truly a super hero in the states while everyone else tends to have jobs people view as the more mundane type of hero like firefighters and doctors (and janitors because I don't care what people say, the world would be a mess without them). Even her parents weren't heroes initially planned (they have faint ties with 'em but nothing super life altering).

It's also more impactful having her being a normal girl once who gets thrown into this world of magical and heroics and the pressure to be perfect because obviously, this is a gift she has been given. Someone out there saw her as worthy enough to have powers.

So it makes Bitterbat's relationship with her even more of a guilty pleasure of hers because it's a big no-no but it also feels really nice to be loved entirely both as her hero self and her normal self.

🖤 Mao Mao as a Caregiver! ❤️

(Completely self-indulgent I just like to see him as a cg)

🖤 Lets you sleep under his cape

❤️ His most common nicknames for you are “little hero” and “kit”, otherwise he’ll just call you by your name

🖤 *Extremely* into playing pretend and telling stories! He’ll use his voice acting skills to really get you invested

❤️ He’s an amazing cook, and has fun making all your favorite foods!

🖤 Likes to hum you lullabies to help you sleep

❤️ Hates to admit it, but he misses you a lot when you’re not around

🖤 Trains you to become the best hero you can be

❤️ Will never, ever repeat the same mistakes his father made. You want attention? He’ll make sure you’re appreciated! You want cobbler? You’re free to have it and enjoy it (in moderation, don’t want a tummy ache)!

🖤 Follows any and all rules of your littlespace! Rules are super important to him as a sheriff, he’ll even help you come up with rules if you need it

❤️ Superb cuddler! And even comes with purring capabilities

🖤 Lets you play with Bao Bao if you want!

❤️ If your little age is *really* young, he’ll start to baby talk at you. It may embarrass him at first, but seeing how happy it makes you will make it all worth it

🖤 Won’t let anyone at all hurt his little, whether it’s physically or emotionally

❤️ Secretly wishes he were a switch, but staying regressed can be hard for him

🖤 Unlike his father, he won’t bully you for being too small <3

❤️ “Oh, hey Kit! Whatcha got there? ...a...drawing? Of us? Woah...did you draw all this yourself? It, it’s amazing...hm? N-no! No, I’m not crying. *Sniff* I’m just impressed! You got my muscles just right, heh!”

🖤 “A vital part of becoming a hero is keeping your brain in check and in shape! So tell me...what’s 1 plus 2? Good! What’s 3 plus 2? Great work! What’s 4 plus 3? ...er- hey hey, shhhh...it’s alright- let’s count on our fingers, alright? Practice makes perfect.”

this is gonna be an extremely awkward ride home

I don't really subscribe to the "Mystra groomed Gale" fan theory (we know Larian is playing fast and loose with official Faerun timelines, but she only reappeared in 1487). Their relationship was more along the lines of a PhD candidate and their department chair is one of the top researchers in the field and their advisor, who initiates the relationship. (Or maybe he's among the top researchers, but she's the one who controls funding and grants and publishing and conferences.) He walked into that relationship flattered and thrilled and proud, only to realize after a while that Mystra is holding his metaphorical grades and thesis and future research opportunities hostage. And what is he if not his genius intellect?

Mystra's attention was flattering, but she could just as easily move on to the next hot young genius with the Weave. So he has to do the only thing he knows he is good for: be a genius with it. He wants knowledge (don't we all), she's rightfully gatekeeping it, and he knows that if he pushes, she'll toss him aside, frustrated with him. We get the impression that she only told him to stop wanting, but didn't give any reason why. Maybe Gale, in hubris, didn't listen. But no matter. Gale is convinced he's only good for his Magic, and Mystra is only with him for it, so he tries to do what any of us would do: impress her.

Why does Gale believe that he's only good for his Magic? Because society groomed him. Society viewed him as the genius wizard. Teachers only praised his abilities. He gets attention not for his other skills or personality traits, but because he's an eight year old who can cast Fireball with ease at at time when Mystra has barely started reconstituting herself. Society taught him the only thing people noticed was his skill. Look around at how many former gifted kids hit walls doing undergrad or grad school, don't understand how to take notes or how to study because it's always been innate, and burn out. Being able to read collegiate materials is no longer impressive when everyone is reading collegiate materials. A huge part of the identity of gifted kids, praised since childhood on their academic talents, gets lost when they hit this wall or realize they're no longer special. (Trust me, being teachers' pet and doing top-notch academically gives you an ego. Doubly so if your family are academics, which we have some evidence that Gale's family is at least moderately wealthy and/or connected with other mages.)

Is Mystra's relationship with ANY of her Chosen a good thing? I'd still say no, unless they both can keep it platonic and mentoring. (I had a great professor in college who did just that: mentored me. My high school physics teacher is still a friend. He was a guest at my wedding.) As soon as romance or sex enters that relationship, it's gonna be a bad time, even if the romance is one-sided on the part of the mortal. It's inherently difficult, shaky ground for a relationship, because of the power dynamics. If you piss her off enough, she can take your connection to the Weave away, and the closer you are to the situation, the more likely you are to think someone deserves punishment. And if she does punish you, it feels like not just a fall from grace but also like you are particularly a problem. There are evil mages all over, and Mystra hasn't taken their powers (the Weave is True Neutral, but still...you think every mortal mage is going to understand that if you eliminate the evil users it actually destabilizes the Weave?). She's the only god who can't really punish those that dramatically deviate from her alignment, because of what she is the god of. Think about that. Every other god can say "you are not following my rules, get out". She can only say that to her clerics and paladins (5e can kiss my ass, paladins need a patron to hear their promise), maybe to her Chosen, but certainly not to anyone who uses her power.

I love Gale, but this really puts things in a different light.

WHICH VERY SPECIFIC CHARACTER ARCHETYPE ARE YOU ?

the Matryoshka Doll. Someone with layers, and a painted surface hiding deep intricacy below. A person who changes completely in a blink of an eye, a person with contradictions but something cohesive holding everything together.

tagged by: @greydeath

tagging : @daekarys , @dreamtfyres , @sentys , @stormbcrn , @lcerys

Complex PTSD from Surviving to Thriving: A Guide to Recovering from Childhood Trauma by Pete Walker - notes by me

if just one other human being finds my notes helpful, i can be at peace

a document of the parts of the book I found most insightful and impactful. There's a table of contents so you can skip to the parts you might find the most helpful :)

Please keep in mind that this is not a full summary so it's not comprehensive! If you want more detail I'd absolutely recommend checking out the book from a library or buying a copy.

My drawing ideas versus my inability to find good references for them versus how quickly i lose motivation trying to find them: FIGHT

Every time I read something new about OCD I realize it's affecting my life more than I thought.

i think a lot about helia being saladin's grandson and how it's heavily implied that he's close with codatorta too and him being codatorta's best student at some point. and how most of the characters either immediately assumed nepotism or weren't exactly disagreeing with it. and how saladin and codatorta go out of their way to Not treat helia better and how all of that combined can really fuck with a young teen's mind and perception of themselves.

he never thinks he's good enough or the right person for the job. he always wants to prove himself. he's really sensitive to making mistakes and immediately assumes everyone hates him when he makes one. always tries to prove his worth in physical and mission related ways. feels responsible for red fountain and guilty for having other interests. manages a stable art career but ultimately goes back because he's too emotionally attached to everyone and especially rf. it's just... dude...

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It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be.

i made these comics a while ago, but they all still feel close to home

[words/translation] vvvv

drowning isn't just physical

it's mental too.

it's an overwhelming feeling

one that swallows you whole

right now i'm drowning

and i can't swim out

I HATE THIS WHOLE AREA OF RESEARCH lord if you plan on killing me sometime soon i would appreciate it immensely if you would just hurry up