#Dawn Watches KP
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in my 30588th version of a Kimchay reconciliation, Kim sends Chay the video with this text. They get back together exactly four hours and one doctor's visit later.
EDIT: I have 0 self control and this is now a fic.
#kimchay#personal#kinnporsche#kimporchay#Dawn is still not over KimChay#Dawn watches KP#porchay kittisawasd#kim theerapanyakul
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The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 14
Sleuthing and Scantrons
Welcome back to Fantasy High where we are back from winter break and hitting the ground running starting with our girl Kristen who just learned that the proselytizing patriarch of the Dawn clan–Bobby Dawn–is her new Cleric teacher.
Kristen decides to not make waves and just vibe out the situation. Bobby isn’t doing anything obviously out of pocket like calling people heathens, but his vibe is way preacher-y than Yolanda’s more neutral academic style and Kristen can clock that he’s giving certain kids a harder time than others (likely based on their choice of deity).
We’re still on downtime so let’s run through Kristen's tracks.
She thinks about doing a Mystery roll to learn more about Ankarna but rolls Academics first for a 19. A+.
Next, she rolls Popularity and she specifically wants to hit up Gertie. She passes with room to spare on a 21 and, amidst some awkward flirting that at least Gertie seems super into, asks her some questions about the Devil’s Honey. Gertie says that she hasn’t made a ton–just a few bottles. The nectar you need to make it is pretty rare. Her client (the trucks and thus, presumably KP) ordered two bottles right after the new year which is twice as many as she got last time. Kristen tries to get Gertie to switch the honey with a placebo but Gertie isn’t willing to lie so she settles for Gertie reporting back on if they ask for any more (which is logged into the school records anyway). With the logs, Kristen can see that the first delivery of Devil's Nectar happened a week or two after spring break last year--this is before Lucy even died.
After that she has a Relationship roll and wants to finally have that chat with her parents. On a 27 they have a reasonably cordial meeting at Krom’s Diner. Her whole fam is there–brothers and parents. Her parents are pretty happy that Bobby Dawn is the new cleric teacher (though the have a foot in mouth moment when they realize that Yolanda was murdered and not fired like they thought and that they were basically just celebrating a woman’s non-Helio sanctioned murder).Bucky’s happy to see his sister and a little bummed that he hasn’t been able to convert anyone in his party to Helioism.
She asks how her parents feel about Gal and their vibe is like, “Shrug, she’s fine.” Not Helio but she’s not infernal or anything. Kristen floats the idea of her attending church one Sunday–not to come back to the church, just to observe and for her class–but her parents are practically salivating at the opportunity to bring her back into the fold. Her mom specifically points out that it seems kismet that she, as Helio’s chosen (even if she’s not currently in the church), was the one to bring back the sun.
Bucky catches a glimpse of Kristen’s Cass shards and asks about them but, before she can tell him much, her parents cut her off and end the encounter. They tell Kristen they’ll pay for her bill so, naturally, she runs up a huge tab.
Final roll is for her campaign and she gets a Nat 20! She is absolutely crushing it–and why wouldn’t she be? She’s a world saving, total stud who rides with the coolest kid at school, a literal rockstar, and the people’s dork. And her opponent is Kipperlilly, ultimate bad vibes generator. Kristen and KP have a tense standoff where Kristen asks her what’s she’s trying to forget with the devil’s honey and KP tells her to fuck herself.
All of the Bad Kids square up, ready to throw hands on the spot but Oisin–wizard of the Rat Grinders–breaks it up. There is a long beat of the Bad Kids trying to recruit Mary Ann for reasons that are beyond me that you’ll just have to watch for yourself and the Bad Kids declare that all the RG’s are a lost cause except for her. Adaine, in an uncharacteristically un-aggro move for her–says that the wizard actually seems kind of cool and Brennan asks for a Perception check.
She rolls like trash but everyone wants to know what the cute wizard thinks about her and social engineer some romance for their girl so they pile on the buffs to turn her four into a dirty 20. With them coaxing her to pay better attention, they see that Oisin is waiting to say something to her–he casts the Message cantrip and gives her a quick, “Sorry,” to apologize for her friends’ behavior. Then their whole crew heads out. Fig reveals that she’s the one behind the entire Complicated Women Podcast. Where does your web of deceit end Figueroth???
Next up to run through tracks is Gorgug.
First track is Barb and he crushes it with a 26. Porter is so proud. A+!
Next is Artificer (Brennan only makes him roll once, not three times) and he gets a 31! He’s officially a Barbificer which means he can hold concentration on pre-cast spells while raging. Henry is super proud of him too! He gets some more cool gadgets so he’s all twins-y with Riz. Green guys with gadgets!
His next track is Mystery and here’s where things get juicy. He wants to dig into Henry’s deal and, with Flash of Genius, gets a 20. He snoops around Henry's desk before his class one day and finds a note from Ruben asking for a ride home, nothing about the Cloud Rider engine, and some Grix parts along with his notes which seem to indicate that fixing Grix isn't his top priority and he's gonna leave it until Aguefort is back. Suddenly, Gorgug hears something from outside the door--a conversation between Henry and Jace. Jace says that he got Henry's letter about Ruben and he's just there to assure him that everything is fine. Henry doesn't sound super assured and wants to have a more in depth meeting but Jace gets pretty aggro pretty quick. He says he's too busy for that and they should meet at the school year when Aguefort is back and when Henry pushes back on that, Jace Misty Steps to be all up in his face and says he should keep his fucking nose out of other people's business. Henry walks into the class, clearly shaken, and Gorgug plays dumb effectively, slipping on his headphones like he didn’t hear anything.
Finally, he rolls Owlbears and fails. Rather than push it (which would make him take his fifth token) he decides his heart isn’t in it and drops Owlbears. Fabian and Gorthalax are both disappointed, even though they understand. Riz gets promoted from off the bench to fill his spot, much to his glee. Fabian and Kristen both try to roll relaxation but they fail (which has no mechanical downside).
Speaking of Riz, let’s do his tracks next!
As always he does Academics first and rolls a 31. DC to find the Rogue Prof is 30 which means he’s right on her trail! We don’t resolve that this episode but Brennan says that he finds Eugenia Shadow’s (the teacher) death records which means that, as they suspected from episode 1 of this season, she’s almost certainly a ghost.
Extracurriculars with disadvantage is a dirty 20 so he’s still on top of those.
Third roll is a Mystery roll to try and figure out how the Rat Grinders became the Rat Grinder from the High 5 Heroes. A 23 is only enough for some basic clues which are as follows. From Gertie, he learns that part of what makes Devil’s Honey work to make you a good liar is it makes you in the moment believe what you’re saying which erases some of the tells of lying from your expression and body language. It also allows you to lie without speaking which is useful for Wizards speaking telepathically AND for its original purpose: lying in prayer. Fig thinks this could maybe be used to pray effectively through doubt. Riz also catches Jawbone (who just finished giving a muffin to a hard at work Adaine–cute!) and asks about Kipperlily and her finding the rogue teacher. Jawbone says it was all above board though she did find her crazy fast–8:01 on the first day, literally the first minute it was possible. (Adaine/Shiv remembers at this point that she has ethereal vision and can def help Riz find a ghost). Jawbone mentions that the people at the morgue are trying to do something about the runes on Lucy and Yolanda and racing the clock before rezzing them because borderline impossible--they're getting close to the one year limit with Lucy. Riz knows there’s more info he can get but it would mean stealing the file from Jawbone and listen. He’s a good guy rule follower but he’s also a Rogue baybee. Nat 20 to snatch it with Jawbone none the wiser. Brennan says that he’ll properly dig into it later but, for at a quick glance, he sees that she's been coming to the counselor since Freshman year for anger issues and that his name is in the file for some reason. Mysterious!
Fourth roll is Owlbears and, with a portent roll from Adaine, he manages to hang on and not totally flame out. I like to imagine she literally used her oracle magic to predict what was gonna happen and drilled the moves he needed to not get tackled into his head like DDR steps.
Last up is our girl Fig!
She does her Work track first and actually works on her album properly for the first time in ages. With an insane plus 20 to Performance (????) she gets an ungodly 38 and writes the most metal song ever which is an 8 minute epic about gods and devils which requires Adaine to make a magical copy of Gorgug just so he can play the drum part. It’s called Dawn of Justice and it rocks so epically hard that she is able to inadvertently magically call dibs on Ankarna. No one can rez the goddess but her. She also casts Find Greater Steed and is able to summon the horse that Ankarna used the gifted wedding bridle on So, clearly Fig took those warnings about Ankarna finding worshippers super to heart!
[Note: My notes say that the bridle was a gift from Ruvina to Cass actually, but hey. I guess when you're married what's mine is yours and all that.]
Next track is Paladin and she gets a 29. A+! While she’s working with Porter, she asks him about the Mountains of Chaos which she thinks is on another plane but he clarifies it’s just up north and parties go there to clear dungeons all the time–including the Rat Grinders many times. That’s news to me because this is the first we’re hearing of them doing anything besides stepping on rats.
Next for Fig is Mystery and she wants to use her Dream spell to visit Lola. In Lola's dream, she's remembering a email between her and Ruben about the podcast (Fig realizes she never followed up on that) and also she sees that Lola was talking to Ruben with Jace CC'd. Fig appears as herself in the dream and tries to be like, “Hey, I talked to Jace, cut me in on the plan.” Lola wants to know if she wants to go back on tour because Ruben just canceled, which surprised both me and Fig. But Fig hides it well and is like, “Yeah, Ruben just canceled, that’s why I want in.” She gets a Nat 1 Insight so Lola seems pretty clueless about a plan. When Fig floats the idea of Jace being a part of a plan to summon a god, Lola says she has no idea what she's talking about and Jace isn't a planner, he just gets in her way. But what she sees as him being a nuisance looks a lot like clues. Apparently Jace doesn't want Ruben touring and he was the one who made Ruben get Frosty Folk moved to the Thislespring Tree. Fig stores away that info and then warps the dream into something normal (by dream standards) to cover her tracks as she gets out of there.
Lastly, she wants to leave a note for Zara saying, “Hey not coming to class this week” but Brennan has her roll and apparently the note is an excellent example of attempting to get your way that Zara respects because it’s still a 34 and and A+! Our kids are doing really well!
Except, here’s the thing. They’re not actually. Or at least, Kristen isn’t. It’s mid April now, just like IRL, and grades have come out. Kristen is failing Cleric classes again. She’s expelled.
Everyone is outraged. She’s been working so hard under insanely difficult circumstances! They march to Jawbone’s office to get answers and he sees the problem. Yolanda made allowances that let her be a cleric with a dead god but Bobby got rid of that. He said no god is an automatic failure. Riz is so stressed that he elects to take a fourth stress token. Gotta respect Murph for the move but that’s crazy.
[Note: This doesn’t become relevant in this ep but it’s mentioned around here so I just wanna say, Riz hasn’t had a chance to dig into KP’s file yet but there’s something about her going to a cemetery in Ashgrove which he connects to the ghost Rogue teacher. Also, they all share the info they learned in downtime.]
ANYWAY, the Bad Kids are ready to throw hands once again and head for Bobby Dawn’s classroom, but Kristen has them all wait in the hall while she confronts him and she tries a novel tactic. She goes in crying. She claims that her Cass shards have been destroyed and that she’s lost and directionless. She gets a 26 on her Deception and Adaine, with all the quiet confidence of the elven Oracle, says that Bobby gets a 1 on his Insight roll. Kristen says she’s ready to come back to the fold and allows Bobby to pray with her but when she asks about the paperwork to get her reinstated at school, he’s not interested in that. He believes that she’s sincere but he’s not gonna break rules or make allowances for her. Kristen gets the sense that he actively wants her to be expelled for some reason and he got what he wanted.
Her friends are outside, practically salivating as they get ready to kick some Foghorn Leghorn ass, but Jawbone shows up and says that they qualify for The Last Standard–aka the Last Stand Exam–and they all decide that that’s a better first option than murdering ANOTHER faculty member. As Kristen leaves, Bobby Dawn gives her a bit of advice that seems to point to her falling in line and being Helio’s chosen again and Kristen calls him a control freak and says he’ll never win–which is a satisfying way to leave a room but a waste of a great Deception roll! The other kids cast various spells on him so he smells like shit the rest of the day because they’re all loyal, petty gremlins.
Jawbone explains what exactly the Last Stand is. It’s an endurance test that replicates the conditions of a desperate last stand. They’ll have to answer questions while waves and waves of monsters try to kill them. Adaine and Riz are the only ones excited about the questions. There will be 12 questions (two for each of them) and a proctor. They lose 30 points (Out of 100) if the proctor (who is some rando named Gavin Pundle) dies. There will be a cleric on hand to rez them if they die but it’s more like when they die. We don’t learn this until later but this isn’t an exam where you’re not expected to TPK. But hypothetically you could stay up the whole time because there’s a limited amount of monsters. Also, it’s not like you die, you're out. Kristen can still rez her friends. It’s just a TPK that ends it all. And one more piece of info I’m gonna give you early to keep the rules together. The questions they have to answer are not rolls. They are timed questions/challenges that the actual at the table players have to answer in real life. But they do have a lifetime. Remember how Gorgug won a mysterious academic resource for getting double Nat 20s in his classes earlier in the year? Well that gets the party a stamp that they can use on two of their questions before the time runs out to skip it without penalty. OK, that’s everything! Got it? Good. The Bad Kids get a good night’s sleep and the next day, it’s time for the Last Stand!
The Last Stand is held in some kind of extra dimensional pocket dimension full of illusory, cheering Agueforts. Buddy Dawn is the volunteer cleric on duty and the group seems wary of him even though he’s taken a divine oath that will strip him of his magic if he fails to rez them.
Because the Bad Kids are doing so well in school, they get a grace period to set up a bunch of buffs and readied actions and stuff. You already know the drill–I’m not gonna do a play by play of every single spell, buff, and attack for this fight but I’ll give highlights. Kristen casts Death Ward on the proctor (great forethought) and Adaine summons Moggy the Doggy to protect him. Fabian has the Hangman and summons some rats (Adaine is happy that Fabian is using her present). Adaine summons the Dry Guys and does Mirror Image. Fig disguises herself as the Proctor, summons Ankarna’s fiery steed as well as spirit guardians, and does Armor of Ayda on herself and her mount. Riz has his Mage Hand out. I’m sure I’m missing stuff but the point is, they’re buffed as hell and ready to go. They pump themselves up with a Hoot Growl chant and then it’s off to the races!
The first wave of monsters includes an otyugh, a gorgon, a steel bull, a hydra, skeletons, and three ochre jellies. Brennan tells them that they’re literally at adventuring school so it’s not meta gaming to know things like you have to cauterize a Hyrdra’s neck lest two more heads grow in its place or that jellies are weak to fire.
Highlights!
Riz does CRAZY damage with all his rogue stuff. Adaine and Gorgug do a cool tag team where he cuts a Hydra head off by boomeranging its head off with an ax before she cauterizes it with a Chromatic Orb. Emily/Fig throws away her dice cause she’s rolling SO BAD.
At the top of the next round, Riz gets the first folder with a test question. There is one marked Investigation and one marked History. He grabs the Investigation and Brennan hands him an actual Scantron (everyone hated that) with the phrase “Bony Girth” written on it before turning over an hourglass. They’re allowed to work together on these and we get to see some teamwork in action. Ally and Murph both realize right away that it’s an anagram. Murph gets the word Night and Ally hits him and says, “Night Yorb!” A “Correct” stamp graphic hits the dome. They got one!
Fabian goes for a folder as well and his choices are Athletics and Common. He goes for Athletics but the desk turns out to be a mimic and attacks him. He just tanks the damage because he doesn’t have the time to fight it. This is a multiple choice question about who the Owlbears’ rival team is. They're between the Buccaneers and the Hellions. Siobhan thinks it’s the Buccaneers since Bastion City is right nearby but realizes that Lou is correct when he says that that’s actually the professional team that Ragh is trying out for, not their high school team. Lou says Hudol Hellions and that’s another one in the bag!
More highlights!
Fabian makes quick work of the Hydra, doing a ton of fancy Fighter moves to cleave the rest of its heads and then sending in the Hangman in dog form to fire breath all the neck stumps. Fig Fireballs the otyugh and two of the jellies! Gorgug gets TWO NAT 20s in a row plus another hit to get the bull from 100% to bloodied.
And to close out the episode, Kristen sends a quick prayer up to Cass and then does Turn Undead, destroying all the skeletons on the field. Whatever else happens in this fight, you can’t deny that the Bad Kids are off to an amazing start. Let’s hope they can keep the momentum going as we head into the second half of the Last Stand, next week!
Detention
Bobby Dawn for Failing Kristen
I knew I wouldn’t need to wait long to put him on my shit list. He can absolutely go to hell for saying that letting Kristen remain in class was “against the rules” somehow. That’s a simple exercise of discretion! And if anything, isn’t it more impressive that Kristen is still running circles around other clerics with a dead(ish) god? That her god is still able to communicate with her in this state? ALSO, if we’re getting technical, Cass isn’t actually dead! We've established that. She’s, as Miracle Max said, only mostly dead which is still partially alive! I know this needed to happen to force the Last Stand but he can still jump into a lake. I hate that, even when she's actually earnestly and effectively applying herself, Kristen is getting smacked down by the system.
(Also, I have to assume Helio died for three days at some point and came back since he’s basically frat bro corn Jesus. Gods die and come back! It’s a thing! It’s a thing that they do!)
Honor Roll
All of the Bad Kids for Loyalty and Badassery
I really couldn’t pick this week so I decided to just give it to all of them. I tried to do a more in depth recap this week to really highlight the coolness of everyone. I think they have especially good team synergy this week from trying to help Adaine get her kisses in to being ready to throw down for Kristen. And everyone got at least one major piece of Mystery info in their downtime rolls. Not to mention how strong they came out for the first part of the Last Stand. I’m just super impressed and I love them individually and as a unit!
Random Thoughts
OK so obviously the biggest red flag right now is Jace. As I pointed out in the last recap, he was there talking to Kalina in the conversation Ragh saw and now we have two more suspicious actions from him. Now I’m questioning his other actions too. Like, making Riz a part of the interim staff. Was that in order to make sure he fell under the staff category for an ulterior motive bylaws related reason? And is he fully working with The Rat Grinders? He’s a sorc but what origin? What if he’s divine soul and wrapped into this god stuff somehow?
(This could be nothing but the other big loose end besides the above that’s been stuck in my craw in Soph year is Sandra-Lynn talking about a couple that made things hard for her and I’ve always wondered if Jace was involved there.)
Handing a Nat 1 portent roll to your DM must feel like doing drugs.
Kipperlily had had rage issues since Freshman year, huh? Does that mean she’s been in league with the corrupted Ankarna since then or just a really easy target? And why would Riz’s name be in her file? I so badly want to know what else is in that file. Brennan, I know you need to control the pacing of the story to some degree but in no world does Riz see his name in that file and go, “Welp I’ll check that out later.” Absolutely not.
Also, two more Rat Grinder points. KP ordered the honey BEFORE Lucy died? That’s suspicious. And Porter confirmed that they’ve been to the Mountains of Chaos many times which means our understanding of their activities has been off. Like, I suppose it’s obvious that they must have been doing more than literally just stepping on rats because we know they’re making moves, but this seems a bit out of left field. Though it does answer the question of what they likely did for their Sophomore Year quest because that’s been incongruent. Multiple times is also pretty suspicious. That points to going there for a specific reason. Also, that’s where the celestial gods were traveling en route to Cass’s wedding. Maybe there���s a connection there. Were they searching for Ankarna’s name?
Maybe I’m just being paranoid and I know Riz literally tattooed Night Yorb stuff onto his body of his own free will but a part of me wonders whether a part of that wasn’t a bit of Sol/Helio manipulation trying to get Kristen back as a cleric. Like, her mom is right. Her bringing back the sun could have been a dramatic prodigal daughter moment.
Buddy mentioned Bucky being “led astray” a few eps ago and I’m really curious to know exactly what that means because he seemed to be mostly in good little paladin mode this ep besides some slight curiosity about Kristen’s shards.
In addition to the moment with Bobby Dawn, Kristen tipped her hand AGAIN In this ep to when she revealed that she knew about the Devil’s Honey. Like, girl. I know you love a dramatic mic drop but keep some secrets, damn!
Curious about what was written on the physical note that Emily gave Brennan when she said she was skipping Zara’s class.
Where did Ally’s “girl Winnie the Pooh” bit come from? It was so confident and out of nowhere that I burst out laughing.
Brennan has been doing such a great job with battle eps this season. We’ve had back to back bangers with really creative mechanics. I can’t wait to see what the other questions are! (This is why I always say I identify with Adaine and Riz most of the BKs)
“The Last Stand” and “Dawn of Justice” are both subtitles of superhero movies. That doesn’t mean anything. It’s just weird that it happened twice. Two nickels and all.
Saved this for last–yessssss Oisin. Be apologetic about your friends being weird. Take the extra time to personally apologize to Adaine and only Adaine while her friends to air traffic control signals to get her to pay attention to you. Very happy that everyone at the table seems to be as invested in making this happen as I am (and that Adaine volunteered that she thought Oisin could maybe be cool even when she could have demurred or said nothing or been really harsh like she usually is with the Ratgrinders). I especially love Fig being like, “We’re trying to make this romance happen!” Like, hey girl I got me my wizard paramour, let’s get you yours. Get you a ride or die friend like that.
One last thing! It’s my birthday on Friday and, to celebrate, I made my thesis visual novel free on itch.io for the weekend. It’s called A Tale of Two Sisters and it’s very meta and fairy tale-y and sincere. I put a lot of hard work into it and, if you enjoy my recaps, I’d appreciate you checking it out and leaving a review. Again, it’s totally free for the weekend! I have another game on there that you can check out but that one's free all the time.
#Dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#d20#d20 spoilers#fantasy high#fantasy high spoilers#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#spoilers#Ha! this is the earliest I've ever gotten a recap up!#I can't believe I don't get paid for this#like 4k+ words#the report card
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top 3 BL characters :3
Dawn, I am so sorry to be boring, Kinnporsche is the one and only BL I have ever watched 🤣 so you're actually getting an intense ranking of my top 3 KP characters
Big is my ultimate blorbo, the blorbo to rule all blorbos. When I was liveblogging this show to Faye, he and my second favorite character were my hyperfocuses. I am enraptured with his wet, pitiful watch dog demeanor. His tragedy is rooted in his loyalty and adoration being his downfall.
Pete is my second favorite because he's also a tragic figure, but at least he gets a happy ending out of it. His tragedy is rooted in his abilities being in direct contrast to his self worth, and I'll never get over it
Porsche. I'm sensing a pattern: another tragic figure in this tragedy of an epic. His tragedy is rooted in working to better his and his brothers life and getting everything he wants at the cost of his autonomy. He's everything to me.
Saturday Night Sleepover at Snel's
#thank you SO much for asking this though now i wanna write all the worbs#answered#talking to my friends
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So. I’m rummaging around in Ep 13 again, and I’m reminded ... do you want to know two of the places that KP and VP and BibleBuild pulled the most visceral reaction out of me? Two of the places that I still haven’t picked apart to examine intellectually because I think I might still be recovering from the emotional gut-punch of them when I watched them the first time, places that I still wince away from, like a bruise that’s still tender?
- Vegas, cooking, following his Youtube directions, clearly making a meal to please and pamper Pete, and my dawning - then growing - horror at the realization as the scene went on that Pete was nowhere to be seen and nowhere to be seen and nowhere to be seen, and that his absence likely meant that he was probably still chained up in the bedroom. Like, even before we cut to him and confirmed it, the anticipation that it was coming just wrung my heart out between two fists.
- Vegas tipping that bowl of noodles onto the floor. I don’t think I was ever ever as terrified at any other point during the show as I was watching that maneuver. I know I’ve posted about how the degradation of him shoving Pete’s face into the congee in Ep 11 was the most difficult of the torture scenes for me to watch, and I was so so afraid that he was going to get Pete down on the floor again, push his face into those noodles, that that was how far we were going to regress, and I’m’a be honest, I remember thinking that I would never ever be able to get past that. That I’d kept the faith this long, and that Vegas was getting ready to kill it.
I don’t even know ... I don’t even know that I have a point here. I think maybe I just needed to start exorcising the impact those moments had on me?
#vegas theerapanyakul#pete phongasakorn#vegaspete#kinnporsche#how we feeling vegaspete nation?#liveblogging ep 13 i guess#(although not really?)#(although kind of?)#(that's just become the tagging system i guess)
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Don't you think you are missing the point? Because of how often Ron is overlooked whenever he gets any ounce of attention, it usually goes to his head. I think the chapter focused on this flaw not to make the conflict as one-sided on kim's end. Ron was being a bit patrionizing through the episode. So, Ron acknowladging it was the Kim factor, despite being Ron who defeated the villain showcase his character growth and is a sign of humilty and modesty.
Is one of my favorite moments of his character, I like how supportive and kind he is to Kim. Maybe what was missing was Kim acknowladging Ron more often? how would you've liked to see the episode/ending play out? What would you change?
I wouldn't say I'm missing the point. I'd say I'm saying it's stupid. Huge difference.
Furthermore, as I have rewatched the series recently, I can confidently say that, attention does not, actually, go to Ron's head when he receives it.
(And even if it did, that's not an excuse to constantly beat on the guy's self-esteem when even the anon asking this question admits he's constantly over looked.)
At this point in time, "Ron Millionaire" hasn't happened yet, so Kim's only examples would be "Bueno Nacho", "The New Ron", and "Two to Tutor", and in none of those did Ron get a big head.
(But if you're someone who's threatened by other people being successful and confident, it's the same thing.)
In "Bueno Nacho", Ron invented the Naco and got the job as the boss because of it. Being good at his job and actually enjoying it doesn't mean it went to his head, nor was asking Kim to do the job she originally signed them up for.
In "The New Ron", Ron started caring about fashion and hair-care, but this still doesn't mean he had an ego problem.
In "Two to Tutor", Ron was successful, popular, and confident because of his baking skills, and that still doesn't mean he had an ego problem.
Know why? Because he was enjoying the positive attention without putting down others or making fun of them.
Was Ron a little rude in this episode? Yes. But to say it's a recurring problem when it provably isn't shows more about Kim than Ron.
Namely that, to Kim, it doesn't matter if Ron actually has an ego problem or is just confident, it's unacceptable for Ron to be anything but her insecure, bumbling sidekick.
(Seriously, Kim is allowed to say she can do anything, but Ron isn't allowed to say he's good at one thing? How is that a fair and equal relationship?)
It's also worth mentioning that, yes, Ron is provably important to Kim's success, because she has failed any mission she tries to do alone.
Ron's already humble and modest, to the point of insecurity and self-deprecation. He really didn't need to be told, again, that he's nothing special.
How would I have liked this to go? Easy:
It starts out pretty much the same, but, at some point, Kim is watching feeds of her missions and sees, from an outside perspective, how important Ron actually is to her success.
*cue dawning look of realization*
At the end, after Gemini is defeated, we get an exchange like this:
Kim: "I was so upset about this whole Ron-factor thing at first, but, after watching some surveillance videos, I realized they're right."
Ron and Rufus: "Huh?!"
Kim: "I'm really good at the action stuff, but your quick-thinking and resourcefulness has been more helpful than I realized. I'm sorry I never acknowledged that before."
Ron: "Thanks, KP. That means a lot. Sorry I was kind of rude earlier. Friends?"
Kim: "The best."
*hug*
Ron: "But, for the record, it's not you or me, it's us. We're a team. It's not about a Kim Factor or a Ron Factor, it's us together that makes it work."
Dr. Director: "Hmm...perhaps we should spend time studying both of you."
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I don't get why Kate's stans are calling it a PR stunt. Meghan used to do the same thing while she was on Suits. It's actually really sad to watch them demonize her. She is minding her business and left their precious royal world but it's still not enough for them. It's not her fault that royals are bland. Do you think that they will ever leave her alone? It's honestly turning into a witch hunt and Meghan is not a witch.
They're calling it a pr stunt because that's the kind of behavior they're used to from the Cambridge's. Kate went to Sarah Everards memorial maskless, her people moved mourners out of the way to ensure a clear shot, then when Sarah's grieving family failed to publicize that Kate sent them a letter, KP leaked it themselves. It hasn't dawned on these people that Meghan did this out of the kindness of her heart because they've never seen this behavior from a member of the BRF before.
They'll never leave Meghan alone because they're obsessed. She lives rent free in their minds.
Plus, look at the way that Meghan was trending yesterday on Twitter with close to 100k tweets. No one in that family can trend beyond a few thousand tweets from their fanclub except for Meghan. That is power. So much for the Sussex's "becoming increasingly irrelevant" eh?
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Try and/or Dish for Ron and... like anyone really. Put that boy in the kitchen.
[ TRY ] — sender cooks receiver their favorite meal
featuring . . . RON & GINNY | because i don’t write enough of this friendship and also we get to watch Ron attempt to redeem himself in the kitchen
—
How hard could it be? That’s what he said to himself about an hour ago, in the supermarket, looking at the list Daisy wrote out. He’d found the ingredients with ease and was in and out of there quickly enough. He didn’t have to do everything, just get it started and she’d be home in enough time for Ron not to fumble with the salt or let the pasta cook for too long or use too much garlic.
And then she called, and essentially damned poor Virginia Brant to some kind of pasta-induced stomach ache.
“There was an accident on the football field, I’ve gotta wait for the ambulance. Can you finish dinner?” Ron blinked, brows furrowing.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah! Yeah, I think it might be an ankle sprain but Julie went home at dismissal so it’s just me,” he let out a small breath, nodding even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “I shouldn’t be back too late but if Ginny beats me to it, you know where I am. You know where I keep the binder, right?”
“Mhm,” The realization was only just dawning on him, but he figured since she had other things to worry about — it probably hadn’t occurred to Daisy yet. “I’ll be fine.” He reassured, before they exchanged goodbyes and brief ‘I love you’s.
He wasn’t going to make a big stink about his… culinary difficulties, as she’d once put lightly. He’d just have to figure it out for himself. So here he was, staring at the recipe written in Daisy’s hardly-neat handwriting. Ron got used to reading it a while ago anyway. At the very least, she’d adopted the habit of writing them down explicitly for these very instances.
Still, Ron’s notorious for always slightly burning his eggs, and for the unfortunate incident where he did, in fact, mistake salt for sugar. He’d been lucky that he wasn’t in charge of KP duty and that nearly everything in the Army came out of a can. And he was lucky that he and Daisy had the general agreement that he was better at washing dishes anyway (and that Daisy liked cooking).
Apparently, luck runs out eventually.
He stares at the parmesan cheese with a scrutinizing eye as it melts together with the garlic and the spinach and tomatoes, stirring meticulously when he hears a knock at the door and, subsequently, the dogs barking in the backyard like there was an actual threat at the door. Ron turns the heat down, scrunching a face at his own hands and wiping them precariously on his jeans before making his way towards the door.
“Hope you didn’t miss me too much, Major,” Ginny hums warmly, opening up her arms to give him a tight but quick hug. Ron rolls his eyes with a small chuckle.
“Barely had any time to,” He looks past her, expecting Dick right behind her to no-avail. “No Dick?”
“Am I not enough for you these days?” She asks rhetorically. “He couldn't get off so he’s coming Saturday. Try not to weep too much in the meantime, alright?” Ron nods, shutting the door behind her and setting her bag by the stairs, before making his way back to the kitchen.
“Daisy’s held up at work. Football incident.” Ginny whistles low and he doesn’t have to turn and look at her to know that she’s probably going to say something else that’s probably smug.
“And she’s trusting you around an open flame? Big milestone.”
“Yeah, it’s almost like we’re married or something.” He refutes sarcastically, and Ginny snickers as she leans against the counter, looking into the pan and smiling. She moves to open one of the drawers, where they keep the utensils, and grabs a spoon. He looks at her as he turns the heat off.
“Do you mind if I…?” While usually his pride would rear its head right about now, he knows this isn’t his strong suit, so he backs up and allows her to dip the end of the spoon in until sauce is clinging to it. Ginny brings it to her mouth, pokes her tongue out, then hums. He almost feels like a kid again waiting for his teacher to give him a grade on a test — and the only class he was ever partial to was gym.
Ginny hums again, reaching over to pinch brown sugar between her fingers before sprinkling it in and stirring, then repeating her taste test. Then, she grins again.
“Congratulations, Major Speirs, you might not decimate the Army if you’re put on KP Duty after all.” Ron opens his mouth to say something sharp in reply, but the door’s already opening, and the rattle of the screen reverberates throughout the house.
“Sorry for the hold up! But uh… kid’s okay!” His smile softens at the sound of his wife, and he feels Ginny nudge him with her elbow, before calling out to Daisy.
“You just missed it! We witnessed a miracle over here!”
#postwar sweetness#this is not in fact the end of Ron's cooking curse#ok listen there's smth so personal abt befriending your wife's bestie#they are family your honor#. virginia brant#band of brothers fic
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I posted 8,906 times in 2022
That's 1,652 more posts than 2021!
254 posts created (3%)
8,652 posts reblogged (97%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@carydorse
@akindplace
@head-full-of-things
@sapphireswimming
@teamteerayus
I tagged 5,619 of my posts in 2022
Only 37% of my posts had no tags
#wei wuxian - 342 posts
#wenzhou - 297 posts
#zhou zishu - 262 posts
#kp cast - 246 posts
#wangxian - 241 posts
#jiang cheng - 226 posts
#wen kexing - 222 posts
#kinnporsche - 209 posts
#kinnporsche the series - 174 posts
#vegaspete - 171 posts
Longest Tag: 134 characters
#youre all cooler than me 😌 when i see my mutuals in my activity feed i ‼️🥹 and scurry to see what post has your approval of coolness
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Aaaa I just- I love this gesture.
It’s so quick, considering the pace of the scene and the focus of it - Porsche and Korn - but it’s so telling.
Honestly, the first few times I watched this moment, I didn’t get the significance. I thought Kinn’s careful movement, the rigidity of his hand here, was a continuation of his hesitance in the previous scene: remembering Porsche’s rejection of his touch, the way he didn’t hug back although he allowed it (and isn’t that a lovely contrast - the way Kinn is so respectful and careful of Porsche’s boundaries now, when in the beginning he “crossed the line” without consideration).
But watch Chan in the background: he ducks his head at Porsche’s immediate exclamation, readying himself (perhaps against his personal feelings) to subdue Porsche the second he is shows aggravation towards Chan’s boss. Kinn attempts to place this placating hand on Porsche’s waist at the exact same moment.
So I can’t help but think that this gesture is actually a signal - Kinn, the family heir, immediately acknowledging the escalating threat in Porsche as he shrugs Kinn off, but signalling to the head bodyguard to wait.
To that end, consider how it’s not just a finger lifted in silent gesture by Kinn: it’s the finger that holds the Theerapanyakul ring, and the camera lingers.
It’s a silent command. A silent signal that this is a family dispute - Porsche is family, not a security threat.
Even though the focus in this scene is Porsche and Korn, and there is so much context to distract us, there is still this little moment reminding us of the power dynamics between the bodyguards and the family they protect. And it serves to remind us, too, that Porsche has transcended that boundary.
And just as Kinn trusts, Porsche defers to Korn’s power, even as he rejects everything he now sees has been bestowed upon him at Korn’s whim. (Even- Kinn? Porsche may think- but no, that’s whump for another day.)
Wait, is what this gesture says. I know Porsche - I know him. There is no true danger here.
And then that same arm grabs for Porsche as he suddenly rejects everything Korn has offered him (does that- include-?) Yet Kinn, despite the frown on his face, waits for his father’s nod to follow.
The subtext.
156 notes - Posted August 10, 2022
#4
Hear me out, okay: Pete’s breakdown in episode 13 has a lot to do with Tankhun.
I know!!! I don’t want to think bad of Tankhun either! Tankhun is so earnest about Pete being missing - and even perhaps reveals too much of his own sharp intuition to Porsche, because as far as Porsche knew to this point, Tankhun doesn’t keep track of anything but his dramas. Which is how it’s supposed to seem. Which brings me to the next scene with Pete:
Allow me a little play-by-play commentary, because damnit, I can’t take Vegas’s face in episode 13. The way horror dawns across his face as Pete says, “I’ve lost my humanity. No - I never had it. I don’t exist. I have no feelings. I’m useless.” All the while forcing Vegas to hold a knife to his throat.
It’s the way Vegas utters, “Pete.” Helplessly, like it slipped out before he even knew what he was saying. Sexy, Vegas called him. Strong. “It’s no fun if you don’t choose.” He wants to know someone chooses him.
But Pete - “I don’t exist”, he’s not allowed to have feelings, or a choice. “I didn’t like it,” Pete whispers to himself - a confession. Private, secret. Pete asked himse, “Why didn’t I say no?” Because in his job, in his life, he’s not allowed to say no - not allowed to have a voice. And for all that Pete may have wanted Vegas, he didn’t want him - like this. No choice. No humanity.
This is Pete, unfettered. Raw. Unmasked. And Vegas can’t believe how blind he’s been. His mouth falters around silent vowels as his throat works to gasp in air.
It’s the way they wrestle for grasp of the knife, the way Pete screams “Let go!��� and Vegas backs away instantly, hands raised and voice cracking - “Pete. Pete.”
See the full post
166 notes - Posted August 13, 2022
#3
Currently obsessing over how P’Pai described Sky as “Sexy, occasionally sad.” He really saw that anger for what it was in 0.01 seconds of foreplay, huh.
218 notes - Posted October 9, 2022
#2
See the full post
534 notes - Posted November 2, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I just have the urge to see Porsche coaxing Pete from Vegas's side, those first few numb, liquid hours in the hospital while Vegas is stabilized. Peeling him out of his blood-soaked uniform, limbs as limp and heavy as a doll, and ushering him into a warm shower. Standing with him under the spray, washing the blood from Pete's hair, from under his fingernails. Holding him as the tears come. Dressing him in clothes Arm or Pol has brought from the compound, from the room Pete will never share with Porsche again. Returning Pete to Vegas's room where, outside the door, a pale Macau is wrapped up in, surprisingly or not, Tankhun's arms. Tankhun takes one look at Pete, and pulls him in too.
Big brothers Tankhun and Porsche looking after Pete, who has shouldered so much on his own, and Macau, who is just a child thrust so suddenly into the horrible truth of his family's world.
990 notes - Posted August 26, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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Sleeping through the night after 14 weeks of staying up so so late until just right before dawn watching KP as they're released and then followed by going to this site to see the immediately appearing gifs, meta(s), thought(s), and crack(s)... now feels so weird.
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PRAGUUES!!!! What did you think of the latest Kinn Porsche episode?? I think I need 3-7 business days to process this.
Is this the last episode of kinn Porsche? Was Kinn Porsche based on a comic?? Have you read the comic?
The acting of this show is incredible!! I hope you are able to see the cast live!!! I don’t want this show to end. Take care and I hope you have a good day!
KP ANON I MISSED YOUUU! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? WE REACHED THE END. ITS DONE?? WHAT DO I DO NOW? you are absolutely correct in saying you need several business days to process 😂 I'm actually tragically travelling at the moment, and I kid you not, I woke up at the crack of dawn so I could watch the finale before having to be busy being a tourist.....
The show is based on a Thai novel(s), which does have english translations now (I think they were done by Bible actually!). There is more to the novels, and some sequels too, which is why people are hopeful for a season 2! I think the way that they ended the season has left some potential plotlines open to explore in a new season too! Like Korn, that bitch?? YEAH still don't trust him. And Porsches mum? I couldn't quite decipher what her look was in her last scene. There could be more to it..
In saying all that though, if they did end it with this finale? I'd be happy. Sometimes sequels are not a good thing, and maybe what we really need is that other mileapo project instead (it's me, that's what I need). Idk, as long as I see these actors again, I'll be happy yknow?
I'm so glad you watched it along with me anon, and that you enjoyed it ❤️ Please still keep in touch! I hope the kp fandom stays lively now even though the show has ended!
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Inconsequential
Pairing: Ezra x reader
Word count: 1.7k
Warnings: the not very uplifting product of an existential crisis (do with that what you will), main character death ...or is it?
A/n: listen, I’m not even sure where this came from. One second I was listening to Indifference by Pearl Jam and the next... this. I’m sorry okay? Also, yes, the gif is from Interstellar.
[ masterlist ]
You’d missed it.
Just barely.
Your last chance to get home from the toxic green moon and you had missed the sling back by minutes. It was Ezra who in his obstinance not to admit you were stranded had tried to chase the damn thing. His efforts were fruitless of course with the beat up and burnt out pod. It was like a row boat trying to catch up with a cruise ship. There was no comparison.
Your fuel reserves were just enough to get you to the freighter. No more, no less. You had never considered the possibility you wouldn’t make it. You hadn’t wanted to. But now you didn’t even have enough to get you back to the green rock that had been your own personal hell for cycles on end. “I’m sorry, dove. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Ezra, silhouetted only by the light streaming in through the window, muttered as the power inevitably went out. You had enough food and water to last you a little while. You were comfortable enough. It was your oxygen supply that would be the issue.
“It’s alright Ezra.” You hummed back but he was already shaking his head. You were stuck, floating in its orbit, so close to the rock it felt like the slightest nudge could send you back.
“No, it’s not. It’s my fault we missed it.” He rebuked, gaze dropping to his feet as he sat on the cot in front of you. Sure it was easy now to count back the minutes and wonder what would have been different if you had just kept walking instead of taking that water break, if you had woken up a little earlier, if you had taken a left instead of a right but none of that mattered now. What was done was done, you had decided. There was no use mourning the loss of a future that never came to fruition. With all the possibilities in the world you would never drag yourself out of bed with that kind of weight on your shoulders.
“Besides, it’s not so bad.” You remark. “We’ve got a view some only ever dream of seeing,” you say gesturing out the window to the moon, so close but so far away and dwarfed by the planet it orbited. That, dwarfed by the emptiness of space beyond it. It was funny how perspective worked that way. The forest had seemed so vast when you were on the ground and yet now it all seemed so insignificant. You couldn’t help but feel you could relate. You had never intended for your life to be quite this short but you supposed that wasn’t your choice to make. “We’re in as much of a home as we’ve ever had,” you go on “We’ve got food and water. We’ve got beds and blankets” you say, noticing the slight chill that had swept over the pod since the heating had gone out. “We’ve got each other...” you say, feeling the words tug at your heart strings when you finally process them. You and Ezra had never thought of yourselves as much more than work partners but you knew you cared for him as deeply- maybe even deeper than you had ever cared for anyone in your life before and you had no reason to believe he felt any different towards you. You had always looked out for one another, taken each other in when you had no place else to go and supported one another when you couldn’t support yourselves. “It’s not such a bad way to go.” You shrug up at him, a weak smile at your lips. “I’ve heard it’s just like falling asleep.” You say and you watch as the tension in his shoulders subsides with a tight sigh.
“You were gonna make a life for yourself though.” He noted, gaze still fixed on his feet. “You were gonna get out. You were gonna learn and travel until you found a place that felt like you belonged.” He reminded you. But those we’re just dreams. Ghost stories you told yourself so you wouldn’t give up too soon. You knew you would have to face them at some point- that reality would set in and you’d have to be prepared to let them slip from your grasp. That’s what you had done as you watched that freighter drift out of sight.
Ezra had never admitted this to you but those dreams- your dreams, had kept him going too. They gave him more hope than he could have wished to muster himself. It was part of the reason he had been a little overzealous on the harvesting front. Why he’d decided to take his time and indulge his greed. For you and him both to stand a fighting chance at achieving it.
“Maybe I’ve already found it.”You murmured, shuffling a little closer to him so your knees knocked against his own as you slipped his hand into yours.
“You don’t mean that.” He said, eyes wet with unshed tears when he looked up at you.
Ezra had given up once before he met you. He had accepted he wouldn’t see old age and he wasn’t convinced he wanted to but by some miracle he had survived. From there he went on existing day to day. It didn’t make much sense to him to try and do anything else. Until you cropped up in his life and all of that changed. Suddenly it felt like his life had purpose. He wasn’t so sure he was willing to give that up again but as he looked around the dead silent pod he finally realized there weren’t any other options. And with the calmness and resolve with which you spoke it didn’t seem so bad anymore. Maybe this was his purpose. To stick it out so you wouldn’t be alone when the time came.
“I’ve lived my life, Ezra.” You whispered, your free hand coming up to brush a rogue tear from his cheek. “This was all it was ever going to be.” You said. In truth, you weren’t sure there was a future for you beyond prospecting. The gamble, the risk, the thrill. They had consumed you. They were all you knew and now that the moon was spent you couldn’t help but feel that you were too. “But meeting you...” your words trailed off. “Meeting you was more than I ever could have dreamed of.” You explained. You could never have hoped for such true companionship. For as much honesty and trust and security as you felt when you were with him. That was‘s something you could have ever anticipated experiencing in your life. With that he sniffed back his onslaught of tears gave a curt nod and it was decided.
You weren’t sure what kind of love you felt for one another as you curled into each other’s embrace. If it was romantic, platonic or just sheer desperation to feel something in the drudged void of space but what you did know was it was strong and uncompromising. Having been drifting for some time now the pod’s insulation never stood a chance without the heating systems functioning. It was now below freezing and enough for your fingers and toes, your lips and the tip of your nose to feel numb as you gripped onto each other in your double layers of blankets. You’d never held each other so close before and you couldn’t help but wonder why now with the way you fit together so effortlessly.
With your ear laid to his chest you could hear each shallow breath and grounding beat of his heart beneath your head. His arm had snaked its way around you, the soft pad of his thumb rubbing circles into the sliver of exposed skin where your shirt had ridden up at the small of your back. Your arms and legs felt heavy now as they tangled around him. He hummed your name softly, voice quiet and slightly hoarse from the dryness of what little air you had left. You both knew today would be the day you would fall asleep with no guarantee of waking again. You knew the air quality in the tiny drop pod had fallen dangerously low and you knew your consciousness wouldn’t remain for long.
It took you a moment longer to respond than usual and for a second his chest contracted at the thought that you may already have drifted off. With your muscles fatigued and brain slightly fuzzy, it took almost all your energy just to lift your chin to look up at him. “Mmm?” You groaned back, eyelids heavy as you pried them open and he felt his muscles relax slightly upon hearing your voice.
“Thank you,” he whispered, his lips pressed to the crown of your head and his breath, soft and warm as it tickled your hairline.
“For what?” You breathed back.
“For making this inconsequential existence feel a little more... consequential.” he mumbled, that honey sweet voice of his rumbling under your ear. You could feel each reverberation as it thrummed against his rib cage, and you felt the corners of your lips pull up into a watery smile. His heart beat picked up ever so slightly as his next words dawned on him but they never reached his lips, his breath growing shallower despite his resistance against the exhaustion tugging at him and threatening to pull him under the veil.
“I love you.” You murmured back, your eyelids falling shut as you focused on the pulse beneath your ear. “Ez,” You said, somewhere on the boarder of consciousness and un when you got nothing in return. “Ezra?” The name was choked as tears threatened to squeeze past your shut eyes. You hoped you weren’t too late for this too as you choked back a sob. You refused to let your last thought be a sad one as you clung to the dissipating heart beat. He heard you, you assured yourself. He drifted off knowing he was loved. That thought was enough for you as you let yourself slip into oblivion. It was soft, gentle and all encompassing, a wave of thin black silk drifting over you and causing your senses to go numb to anything else. You were unsure if the static that rung through your ears now was real or a product of your imagination as you teatered just on the edge, ready to follow in Ezra’s foot steps.
“KP-4N9, come in KP-4N9, this is KP-8F7, do you copy? over.”
“I repeat, KP-4N9, this is KP-8F7, do you copy? over.”
[ masterlist ]
Permanent Taglist: @agirllovespancakes @chaoticspaceidiot @engineeredfiction @pedropascalito @dreamgirl-67 @wickedfrsgrl @hillarymurray4 @din-damn-djarin @yespolkadotkitty @wille-zarr @oloreaa @this-cat-is-dea @marydjarin @roxypeanut @opheliaelysia @cryptkeepersoul @prxtty-boah @aliciaxglasgow @elena-myth @theocatkov @bioticgoddess @edencherries
Pedro Boys Taglist: @theravenreads @seasonschange-butpeopledont @chaotic-noceur @deafspaceperson
Ezra Taglist: @my-awakened-ghost @on-the-razor-crest @legallyabastard @thepjofanqueen
#ezra x reader#ezra prospect#ezra#ezra (prospect) x reader#ezra (prospect)#prospect#prospect 2018#Prospect (2018)#prospect fanfiction
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in my 28935th version of a Kimchay reconciliation, Kim sends Chay the video with this text. Chay replies, "you right," and they get back together two days later.
#kimchay#personal#kinnporsche#dawn watches KP#dawn is still not over KimChay#kim theerapanyakul#porchay kittisawasd#KimPorchay
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Restrained (Santiago “Pope” Garcia x Reader)
RESTRAINED
(i just do what my brain tells me to, guys. it wouldn’t shut up until i wrote this.)
Word Count: 2660
Summary: Santiago issues a challenge. Purely innocent of course. But to be fair, those should not have been in the supply closet.
Warnings: Little bit o’ language.
(with prompts: “do it. i dare you.”; “how about a hug, hm?”; “is this your first time?”)
Santiago Garcia walked back into the munitions room with two more canvas duffel bags and threw them on the small counter. “Hey, got more bags.”
“Thanks,” you replied, turning around to grab one. You almost bumped into him in the close quarters. “You load ammo, I’ll check and load the weapons?”
He nodded in agreement, grabbed the other bag and started packing it. You worked in a comfortable silence.
It was more of a closet than a room, really, but it had all the fun toys you needed for your next mission. So here you were in over 100 degree heat, in a teeny room, getting things ready to go. You puffed a piece of stray hair off your forehead and wondered if the temperature in the small room wasn’t just being caused by the brilliant sunshine outside.
You side-eyed your partner, noting (not for the first time) that it wasn’t fair for him to look that good in fatigue pants, dark grey tank, and combat boots. The thin sheen of sweat on his brow as he worked only added to the effect. You felt the tips of your ears start to color and turned back to concentrate on the rack of artillery in front of you.
Pope was giving you some side-eye too, but he was equally subtle about it. You were dressed the same as he was, only your tank was olive green and he thought you wore it better. He turned his attention back to the ammo crates next to him.
You had worked together for two years, after both being assigned to operations in Colombia. One semi-drunken night not long after you’d arrived at base, you had bonded with the group you fondly called The Boys, Pope in particular. You just had an easy-going back-and-forth, he was easy to talk to, and you’d had some similar experiences in both your families that helped to deepen your connection. You considered him your best friend; he felt the same.
The Boys, much to your annoyance, had a bet going on how long it would take you and Pope to get together. It was no secret they all thought you would make the perfect couple, or at least the perfect hookup. Both of you laughed it off. It was not a time to even consider having a relationship, much less with your best friend.
Not that you hadn’t actually considered it. More than once. Okay, maybe a lot. And neither of you would even consider that the other might have done the same. You were best friends.
Suddenly his short, sharp laugh broke the silence. “What in the hell?”
You looked over and saw him holding up something silver. Definitely not a weapon or ammo. You squinted, huffing that damn piece of hair out of your eyes again.
“Are those...handcuffs?”
Pope sounded a mix between amused and surprised. “Um, yeah.”
“Santi,” you tilted your head. “Why do you have a pair of handcuffs?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. They were just here in the ammo crate.”
“That’s incredibly odd,” you chuckled. “Why would we have any use for handcuffs?”
Pope laughed full-on at that. You reached over and swatted at him. “That’s not what I meant, you ass. I know what handcuffs are for.” Okay, so you really were trying to get your work done, but you couldn’t help joking with him. It was just what you did.
He looked at the handcuffs in his hand, then up at you. One side of his mouth lifted in a smirk and he raised an eyebrow.
You took a step back and pursed your lips. You knew that look. That look was never good. That look meant trouble and shenanigans when you were not inside a munitions closet, and probably meant exactly the same thing inside one, knowing how Santiago worked. And you knew how he worked. He might be a master tactician and an exceptional soldier, but his sense of humor and penchant for mischief was definitely off-kilter and somewhat juvenile at times. You could almost see the thoughts forming in his head.
“Seriously, Pope? We need to finish packing this shit up and get it loaded. We leave in two hours. Put the cuffs down and get back to it,” you said sternly.
He paused a second, but his expression didn’t change. “What if…”
Your heart suddenly vaulted up into your throat. The room was getting warmer.
“What if we make a bet? I bet you can’t finish packing that bag in less than five minutes if you’re cuffed.”
Now your heart was almost oozing out of your ears. You put on the blankest expression you could muster. “I’m sorry...what?”
“You can’t pack that bag in less than five minutes while you’re cuffed,” Pope repeated, more of a challenge this time. He took a step closer.
“What’s the wager?” you asked, trying to sound normal. It was...sort of working.
Pope thought for a moment. He pulled his bottom lip with his teeth as he did so. “Okay, if you win, then I pick up your KP for a month. If I win...I take you into town for dinner and dancing next time we have leave.”
Your jaw dropped. You weren’t sure which was more unsettling right now: the fact that you were almost one hundred percent certain you could actually do it, how much shit you could give Pope for having to cover KP, or the fact that your best friend wanted to put handcuffs on you and watch you try. Or maybe it was that you were one hundred percent sure you were going to let him. And on top of all that...did he just ask you out on a date? By challenging you to do tricks while handcuffed? Well, if that’s the game he wanted to play...before you could stop yourself, the words flew out of your mouth.
“Do it...I dare you.”
A strangled sound echoed throughout the room as Pope nearly choked on his tongue. He did not expect you to actually agree. But he quickly recovered and in an instant he had closed the few steps between you and slapped one of the rings around your right wrist. He was about to put the other one on you but you grabbed his hand. You had just thought of something.
Your eyes narrowed. “Do you even have the key for these?”
He shrugged and you noticed that mischievous flash spark in his eyes again. “Nope. But don’t worry, honey, I can pick the lock.”
He almost had time to catch the matching glint in your eyes before you moved your hand in a flash, grabbed the metal ring, and locked the second cuff around his wrist.
“You do not play fair,” he snapped, eyes glued to your now-joined wrists.
You couldn’t help the wry grin that broke out on your face. “You’re the one who wanted to put these on me and have me pack a weapons cache!”
He bobbed his head from side to side slightly and smirked back. “Fine, fine, points to you. But, um, how are we getting out of this now?”
“Pope! You said you could pick the lock!”
“I can,” he shot back, “but the tools I need to do it are over there and we have one small problem.”
As if being handcuffed to your extremely attractive best friend in a supply closet wasn’t a problem.
He lifted his left wrist and grabbed the support pole that was between you.
Oh. That small problem. The pole basically split the worktable in two, and it was only about an inch away from the wall. Which was fine except you hadn’t noticed the handcuffs had somehow gotten threaded behind the pole before you attached yourself to Pope. There was no way for either of you to maneuver around the pole, and the tools were definitely out of reach. Just out of reach, of course. You had been so distracted by him and his newly-acquired apparatus and you silently cursed yourself and Pope for this major oversight.
You were stuck.
“Damn it, Pope!”
“It’s not my fault!”
“How did you even get the cuffs around the pole?!”
“This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t cuffed me!”
“This would have happened at all if you weren’t so...so…”
“So...what?”
Before you knew what happened, you were only inches apart from each other. The room was definitely getting warmer. A lot warmer. Both of you stared at each other, breathing hard and not speaking for what seemed like forever.
Your eye contact broke first. You couldn’t look at him anymore. You were too close, too sweaty, too nervous, too fucking handcuffed to Santiago Garcia.
“Hey,” he said suddenly, as he placed his index finger under your chin so you looked back up at him. His eyes had lost the up-to-trouble spark, and now he looked like he might be worried that you might actually be mad at him. But, being Pope, he only let that show for a second. “Is this your first time?”
“My...what?” your lips curled in confusion and you just...stared...at him.
“Is this your first time in handcuffs?” He tried to keep a straight face. He really did. But it was so hot in the room and the ridiculousness of the situation had really started to dawn on him. So did the idea that this was a chance he did not want to waste. His face refused to cooperate and the bastard was laughing.
You punched him in the shoulder with your free hand, a bit harder than you intended.
“Ow!” he yelped as you muttered “Sorry” and tried to look away again. He didn’t let you.
Pope raised an eyebrow and you couldn’t help it, you started to smile back. Might as well keep playing the game. You could still win. “No,” you replied.
“No?” There was no way Pope could hide the amusement in his voice now. Not just amusement, he thought. Definitely not just amusement.
“Nope,” you sighed as you reached your free hand up towards the strap of his tank. “Just the first time in handcuffs with you.” The inflection in your response made it abundantly clear that...oh god, your brain screamed at itself. What were you doing.
“Mmhmm,” Pope hummed as he pulled you as close as possible, what with two of your hands stuck around a pole. His eyes darkened and you thought his voice sounded more raspy but at this point your brain wasn’t exactly firing on all cylinders so you just kept your stare focused on his. And also his lips.
He looked at your lips, too. Despite the way your nerves were suddenly misfiring, you were very aware that Pope stared at your lips. He did that damn thing where he stuck the tip of his tongue out over his bottom lip and then pulled his lip with his teeth.
You shuddered ever so slightly.
You were now even more aware that his lips were centimeters from yours.
“How about a hug, hm?” he practically whispered, that stupid grin still on his face. His hand moved to brush that rogue strand of hair off your sweaty face.
“Just a hug?” you whispered back.
Your breath hitched and you both felt your hearts beat faster and faster and the room got even hotter and you swore the walls were actually shrinking as made the barest movement towards each other…
“Oh! That’s where I left those! I’ve been looking for them everywhere.” Frankie’s voice rang out in the room.
You and Pope quickly pulled away from each other and swung your heads to the doorway in surprise. Frankie stood there, hands in his pockets. He looked between the two of you.
“Aren’t you supposed to be packing for a mission?” he asked, nonchalance radiating off him.
Pope ran his free hand over his jaw. “Frankie. What are you talking about?”
“My handcuffs. I’ve been looking for them.” Frankie made it sound like it was the most obvious explanation in the world.
You and Pope exchanged a confused look and Pope sighed. “Why do you have handcuffs and why were they in...you know what? Never mind. I don’t even want to know.”
Frankie wagged his finger between you and Pope. It seemed like he had just noticed your predicament. “I’m not sure I want to know either.”
You rolled your eyes. Of all the people who had to show up. “Fish, trust me when I say I don’t want to know either, and never mind how this happened, but...”
Frankie giggled. You ignored it and continued. “Anyway, do you happen to, I don’t know, maybe have the goddamn key?”
“Of course I have the key,” Frankie replied, as if it was perfectly normal to lose a set of handcuffs and also just happen to have the key in his back pocket. He pulled the key out and walked over. “How long have you two been stuck like this, anyway?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Pope replied, stealing a glance at you. Not long enough.
“Can you just let us go so we can get back to prep?” you asked sweetly, stealing a glance at Pope. Not long enough.
“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Frankie said and unlocked the cuffs first from you, then from Pope. He put the cuffs and keys in his back pocket and passed a suspicious look between the two of you. “You know, you really should stop fucking around in the munitions closet.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose.
Pope closed his eyes. “Frankie, you had a pair of handcuffs in here.”
“Didn’t say anything about me and the munitions closet.” He ducked Pope’s hand and ran out of the room. His laughter cackled down the hallway as he went and you heard him shout, “Benny! You’re never gonna guess what just happened and you owe me $10, fucker!”
Pope looked up at the ceiling like he was praying for strength.
You turned back to the abandoned weapons bag and started to pack it up again. Pope turned back to the ammo bag and did the same. You worked in an awkward silence for several minutes, until you zipped up your bag and turned towards the door.
“I could have done it in less than four.”
Pope didn’t turn his head to look at you, but the corners of the eye you could see crinkled deeply. “I know you could have.”
“Were you going to...” A light bulb went off in your head. “You were going to cuff me to the pole the whole time, just so you could win the bet, weren’t you.” Your lips twitched as you leaned on the door and fixed him with a stare. Was Pope blushing? He would probably argue that it was just really, really hot in this little room...but you knew better.
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t look at you. He just cleared his throat and kept packing the bag.
“Santiago Garcia, you could have just asked me. I would have said yes.”
He looked up quickly. “Really?” That was the answer he had hoped for. It was not the answer he actually expected, but definitely hoped.
“Really. There’s that cantina down by the water. I want enyucado when we get back,” you gave him a sweet smile before you turned and left the room to pack your bag into the transport.
A moment later, you head poked back into the doorway. “Oh, and Santi?”
“Yeah?” he asked, a somewhat dumbfounded grin still on his face.
“If you wanted to have me in handcuffs that badly...I would have said yes to that too.”
Santiago’s jaw hit the floor as he watched your retreating form. He finished packing his bag in a daze and followed a few moments later. Oh, he was definitely going to take you up on that offer.
~end~
#oscar isaac#oscar isaac character#santiago pope garcia#santiago garcia#triple frontier#prompt fic#fanfic#spicy fluff#is it hot in here or is it just me#santi santi santi#santiago garcia x reader#santiago garcia x you
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THE VISAGE PART 1: Messages from the Mists
So I was GOING to get an AO3 account, but they’re doing maintenance on the website’s invitation system, so I can’t. I’ll have to check back when things are all clear.
BUT I wrote the prologue to my fanfiction today.
It is a recursive fic involving the gods and universe from @snellyboi‘s SPOP universe. I’m very nervous to be showing it off. But this is the Prologue to a multi-part, multi-chapter fic about a girl who leaves the horde.
The prologue is 1,686 words long. I will be writing maybe a chapter a day, but I do plan on finishing this work. if I get an AO3 then I’ll have more incentive to do this every day.
Enjoy!
PROLOGUE: A Disciplined Disciple
Eliana Okaram. It meant something in Old Etherian...not First One, that language was long dead and unrecognizable. But in what little she'd read on the subject from books she'd 'borrowed', she was aware that her name meant something important. It meant fire, or bird, or rock, or...something. She didn't know what order it was. What was it with Etherians and weird names for birds?
Eliana Okaram…
Eliana knew Shadow Weaver's lab was not the time to think about this...she was convinced Shadow Weaver could read her thoughts, could see what she was thinking all laid out. That's why Shadow Weaver put those plugs behind her ears. That's why Shadow Weaver made her cover her eyes whenever she slept. She could see into her. Eliana knew she could.
“Eliana...” A gentle cup of the chin, a subtle twist of the head. Eliana lost control to her. “You're growing well...what a fine soldier you will make...” Shadow Weaver said, turning away and walking to a small table of tools. The taller woman took one in her hands, something resembling an angle grinder…
“Thank you, Ma'am...why have you called me here?” She was wise for a 10-year-old. Exactly as wise as Shadow Weaver needed her to be.
“Don't worry, child. We're going to deal with those pesky little marks on your back.”
“...Marks? You mean the circular ones on my back?” Three concentric circles, surrounding an inverted triangle. Hard to miss when you're bathing.
Eliana continued, “I thought they were normal, that all human children got them...”
“No, child. If you wish Hordak to keep you, you'll need to get them removed...” Shadow Weaver took Eliana, and laid her onto her stomach, lowering her shirt to make her back visible.
“Why? What's to bad about them?” Eliana asked.
“They mark an illness...something that's hard to cure, something that weakens the spirit...”
“Oh...”
“Don't fret, my child...I shall cure you of this illness...and you shall not remember how I did it.”
“...what?”
The whirr of machines, the sound of a scream, but no pain…
A flash of black, a darkness...and then…
Eliana woke up in her bunk, positioned on her front...she tried to rise, but gasped out in pain. She laid flat on her stomach and huffed, what had happened to her? She slipped the cover off of her eyes to try and catch her bearings. Shadow Weaver was wrong about the monsters that went after children's eyes, or maybe they just didn't want Eliana's. Either way, she'd become more flagrant with her disregard of that particular rule.
Eliana saw her arm. Perfectly normal...she slowly and painfully slipped out of her bunk, walking over to the room's mirror, usually used for personal care...she turned to see her back, looking over her shoulder…
Her back was covered in bandages, all tinged with some horrible liquid...she couldn't see color. She knew that much. But she didn't need to be told that color. She knew what it was. Her back covered in blood and cuts and scrapes, all hidden by gauze and tape. Hiding her markings…
She knew why, of course...it was a miracle Hordak was letting her keep her hair that long. He wasn't much for expression amongst his ranks. Eliana couldn't blame him...the other kids would surely be jealous of her marks. Of course! That's why Shadow Weaver wanted to get rid of them...but...if that was the case, why not just make her wear a shirt? The cat lady already bathed privately, why not Eliana?
Eliana got back into be, the soft, familiar ringing lulling her to sleep.
The heft of the staff came down onto Eliana's back, knocking the wind out of her and sending the 12-year-old girl sprawling. She sputtered as she looked up to see who had landed the blow. As she looked back, she saw her..Force Captain Catra...of course, it was always her. Force Captain Scorpia was there, too. Followed her around...Eliana didn't know or care why.
“Hey there, longhair.” Catra used a nickname given to the girl unceremoniously by a few...less-than-friends. No one was friendly enough to stop her from this, even as people passed by.
“...What is it, Force Captain?” Eliana asked, through gritted teeth and hidden fist.
“What're you doing near here, anyways?” Asked Catra, looking down at the younger girl.
“I'm on special orders from Force Captain Enric.” Eliana replied, slowly beginning to calm herself. She couldn't afford another fight…
“Well, stop it. You got new ones.” Catra said, getting closer. “Because you've been moved to MY team.” She smirked gently, forcing Eliana to look at her with a hand on the chin.
“...Yes, Force Captain.”
“Scorpia is going to be securing a fort on the Plumerian border. YOU, though, You're coming with me.”
“Force captain, I'd probably be better suited for a role with force Captain Scor-”
WHAM.
Eliana's head was protected from the steel wall only by Catra's hand, which didn't do much to break the impact. She huffed, looking Catra in the eye...one yellow, one blue. She could see those colors...she thought. Maybe they were different…
“I'm your CAPTAIN now...so you're going to do what I say...understand?”
“...Yes,” She spoke once again through gritted teeth and angered expression, “...Force Captain.”
“Good. Listen,” Catra showed her claws, “YOU aren't Shadow Weaver's special little pet anymore. You never were, and you're not anymore.” Catra threw Eliana to the ground.
“...I'm in charge here, Eliana. And I don't take well to people who think they're better than what they are...”
Silence from Eliana...she simply looked up, a mix of anger and disgust on her face…
“Briefing room in 45 minutes. You're getting your rank and assignment there.” Catra simply walked away.
“Scorpia, get moving. You need to be at the fort by nightfall.” Catra said, before turning a corner.
Scorpia walked over to Eliana, helping her up from the floor. She smiled gently, rubbing one of her shoulders with a closed pincer and patted her back. She looked the young girl over. She noted the bruise on her face, and the messy bun of hair atop her head. But the main concern was the eyes...still that strange dull gray.
“Hey, kid, don't feel too bad...Catra's just going through something right now.”
“...She's always been like that, Scorpia. She's been 'going through' something ever since Shadow Weaver started acting up...”
“Well...you weren't the only one who spent time with her.” Scorpia said, as she began to move towards the transport doors.
Eliana followed close by, “Any idea what she's going to do with me? Gonna send me on some suicide mission and finally let me die?”
Scorpia shook her head, “No, no, no! She wants you alive...I think she wants you to be a courier or something. Deliver packages and all that.”
Eliana shook her head, “Better than KP, I suppose...I'll brace myself.”
The transport doors opened, and wind poured in from the outdoors, transports heading in and lifting off, getting assigned. Scorpia knelt down to eye level with Eliana, squeezing her shoulder with a pincer.
“You'll be fine. Promise.”
Eliana watched as Scorpia boarded the transport...and then, Eliana made her way to the briefing room. Looking at her hands, she thought for a moment about existence...she quelled those thoughts. She didn't need to be thinking about that right now.
Eliana heard that ringing in her ears...she was hearing it more often nowadays. Less a lullaby, more a nuisance.
“In your 2 years as a courier, you have done nothing but good things for the Horde, Eliana.” Force Captain Holst was in charge now, having taken Catra's Unit. He was a genuine man, but a Horde man, nonetheless. This was just a recording, but Eliana could hear the man shift uneasily in a seat once belonging to Hordak. Hordak was missing. Catra, too.
Everyone was missing.
“But it appears the Horde's days are numbered...I'll be honest with you, Eliana. I'm sending you on this mission so that you can escape.”
The words on the tape seemed hasty and ill-formatted. Not official like they once were, not the way they were supposed to be. Nothing was the way it was supposed to be anymore.
“Pack everything you can, and work your way to Rosetree. It's the capitol of Plumeria, home to the queen. Try and fall in with the locals there, maybe start a new life.”
Eliana packed what she could...drawings, a small flag, the eye-mask she used to sleep, a collection of amulets...she would take them off of the people she had to dispatch. Amulets for the gods. She kept THOSE well hidden. Other than that, not much to pack, other than clothes for a few days, even some clothes she'd snuck out of Bright Moon on a mission.
“Your mission, to any officers that might stop you from escaping, is a spying mission. You're officially being placed there to spy on Perfuma of Plumeria. But you're not doing that.”
She walked to the transport doors, past the few watching eyes that still looked her over, past the security cameras that couldn't catch her anymore. She still had the circles on her back, and constellations on her arms. No one was taking those away from her now. Not a damn soul even wanted to touch her.
“Wear your black clothes, and slip out at night. If you keep walking, you should hit Rosetree by dawn. Just keep walking. If you see enemies, keep walking. If you see friends, keep walking.”
Eliana heard that ringing...she was wearing her visor, something all of the couriers wore to keep themselves focused. She didn't know why, she just...figured she should wear it. A flag of a dead empire.
“I'm setting you free, Eliana. You know what that word means? In Old Etherian?” The tape asked as if she could answer it…
“Firebird. Phoenix. Burn down, and start anew.”
Eliana slipped out of the courier's barracks one last time. She still heard the ring. It was almost constant nowadays. She looked over the destroyed Frightzone, as if the carcass of a great beast...and she began walking. She repeated that to herself…
Burn down.
Start Anew.
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Wine - What is your opinion on alcohol? (and does it exist in your world?) Orange - What are some of your comfort foods? Spice - Do you like to cook? Do you cook often? Tangerine - What is your favorite fruit?
Wine - What is your opinion on alcohol? (and does it exist in your world?)
The haunting cloud of despair had slowly begun to fade as merriment and revelry echoed about the town square. Men, women, and children laughed without hesitation or fear as joy crept back to their lives with the death of the creature. Kegs and bottles were opened and drinks poured to fill clinking cups with the backdrop of a massive horned head. The beast of Dornal was dead and so could the townsfolk return to what they called normality. But peace always came with a price and the witch hunter would bear that payment back to the Stand in a covered wagon.
“A drink for ya inquisitors?” Spoke the bawdy voice of a heavy set woman, her thick hands working a key with sure fingers and a wide smile. Candell and Dunn looked up, their face clean and patched in contrast to the stains and weathering of their leathers.
Cheryl Dunn wore a thick wrap about her temples and a fresh set of stitches across her chin but still managed a thankful smile. She’d taken quite a bruising to the beast and it’s lackeys, the claws and teeth of the low men nothing to scoff at. A slight shake of her hand was quickly steadied before accepting the clay mug with a weary breath. Beside her, Eldridge Candell, was in similar shape despite his lack of facial bandages and more of a sling for his arm and heavily wrapped midsection. The elder inquisitor grasped the the other stein with a nod, his grim face a reminder of the recent incursion of the dark.
“To Dornal’s saviors!” The thick woman replied as she helped herself to a clay mug. The two hunters looked between themselves before looking to the wagon, the three bodies of Roberts, Schwenke, and Hauser sat still.
“To the saviors.”
Orange/Spice - What are some of your comfort foods? Do you like to cook? Do you cook often?
Steam steadily rose from the cook pot, wafting far into the darkness above the small camp letting it’s scents carry for all of nature. A metal spoon would clink and scrape as it shifted the hearty vegetable stew, Eld’s blue eyes steady to the simmering liquid.
“You sure it’s safe for a fire tonight?” Cheryl asked quietly, gently depositing the tree debris she’d been gathering for the last ten minutes.
Eld grunted softly, letting the spoon go before reaching into an old segmented box for a few bits of spice to dash in their dinner. “Monsters or cold, we can’t prepare for both.”
“I’d think a few extra blankets would be better than being eaten,” Dunn countered as she hunkered beside the campfire, adjusting the axe at her side to her empty hands. “Or worse.”
The witch hunter snorted as he wiped his hand on his trousers and leaned back from the fire. “We’ll be fine.”
“If you say so,” the younger inquisitor replies as she half inspected her weapon and half kept an eye on her wounded teacher. “Least it smells good.”
“There’s not a lot of comfort on the road,” Eld answered with his half cryptic and knowing tone. “Have to find it somewhere. Hot food, seemed the easiest option.”
Cheryl would slide up to the fire and idli stir the soup, lifting the metal spoon to blow out some of the heat before sipping. Smacking her lips softly to fully taste the road stew. “Could use some salt.”
“Shut up.”
Tangerine - What is your favorite fruit?
Cheryl Dunn wiped out the last of the cookpot with a hunk of dry rye bread, a final gift from Dornal and the work they had done. Three dead bodies seemed a high price for some old bread.
“Thought you’d didn’t like it.” Eld spoke softly from across the fire, his hand idly rubbing the head of the black hound Bandit. A hint of uncharacteristic mirth was in the older man’s voice as he caught her cleaning up.
“I didn’t say that, just you don’t use enough salt,” Cheryl spoke in between chews before fetching a bit of water to boil out the bottom of the pot. “They say you lose your taste first as you get older.”
The witch hunter snorted again as he pet the dogs the head still, his eyes watching the flames of the campfire as his apprentice cleaned up the meal. Cleaning up for two was much easier than the five had been, Cheryl thought sadly as she wiped out the bowls. She’d complained at first on being stuck on the first ‘kp’ duty when they trekked west. Hauser seemed to use everything in the mess kits to make a simple porridge and meat dish. They’d argued and said to many foul things that even Eld had told them to knock it off. She’d been ready to knock the ranger flat on his back if he’d said one more thing to her about being young and entitled to everything. He’d been ass and the other two were not far off from his point. Now as she slipped the metal gear away, she’d give anything to hear their voices again.
Her eyes would rest on the back of the covered cart a moment, stacks of dried herbs and flowers to cut off the smell of death thick about them. It was a long road to Arom’s Stand but they needed to come home. They needed a proper rest.
Cheryl shook her head before going back into the food crate that Dornal had provided for their journey home. Bread, dried meats, tubers, and dried fruit were a welcome sight to fight off the dark shadows of the precious day. A jar of preserved apricots would be pulled forth with a soft smile, her mind drifting back to childhood teas and afternoons with her gran. Time flies when the world is ending.
The young Inquisitor sat with a thump and cracked open the jar with a pop, a clean spoon dipped before being consumed. Sweetness swamped her mouth as she smiled at the taste, savoring the jam as a final close to the evening meal. Another dip brought another mouthful to help prolong the pleasure of enjoying a simple treat. By the fifth, Eld would finally speak.
“Better save some of that for Rusty,” the older man spoke. “Or at least ditch the jar before we get back.”
Cheryl blinked and set aside the spoon, embarrassment riddling her face as she realized how much she’d eaten. “Sorry, it’s been a long time. Apricots were my favorite as a child.”
The woman would lift the cap and turn it tightly with a click of glass and metal as she continued on. “My gran had a tree near her house and I’d help pick them during the season with my brother. We’d spend the rest of the day boiling them down into her jam before packing them for Winter Veil. She was a sweet woman then and a good cook.”
“I see.” Eld knew where the story would go, but refrained from dredging up the memories of Regina Dunn. She’d been a good cook, good enough to hide all those bodies.
Cheryl sniffed and rubbed at her eyes, despite what Eld had not said her own memories were clouded with the stain of corruption. She hadn’t deserved it. To be fair, she didn’t think any of them did. Clearing her throat she’d tap the jar top and look to her teacher. “You have a favorite fruit?”
“Pears.”
“Pears? Why’s that?” Cheryl asked curiously, her hands drawing up her knees to hear some kind of story.
Eld smiles for a brief moment, his hand still stroking the dog’s head as he lived in the past for a brief time. Smiling faces, hungry eyes, and a kind gesture were more feelings from a long lost childhood that he was too tired to visit. “Just do.”
A moment of frustration took over Dunn at the lackluster answer, the old man never shared but always took. Her mouth was ready to run but stopped. Cheryl watched him, his eyes and body language giving the sense of being far away from the camp, from this life. She’d just done it herself but had to speak up. To blab and talk and share and react, she had to fill the silence. Fill the void of three dead men.
She knew the witch hunter couldn’t. Cheryl knew Eld wouldn’t.
With the insight dawning on her, Cheryl felt herself withdraw into the crackle of the campfire and the silence of the night. Knees drawn up and head down, her eyes would close in an uncomfortable position and exhausted sleep.
@lylianwyatte
#ask answered#wine#spice#orange#tangerine#colors prompt#cheryl duun#order of embers#inquisitors#witch hunter#roleplay#dornal
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My 19 Favorite Albums of 2019
2019 is coming to a close. The entire decade is coming to a close. This list has been an increasingly comforting exercise the last few years. I guess this will be the eighth annual version of the linernotesandseasons favorite albums of the year list! Crazy how time passes. So here are the collections of songs that I used to mark my personal time & space this year. The lyrics that I learned by heart & sang out in dark & dirty rock clubs. I also made a spotify playlist with two songs from each album if you’re interested in listening along as you read.
This year most of my writing focuses on when & why I fell in love with a specific album. Sometimes the history is important, building a base or connecting some threads, so when relevant, I have also included my history with when I fell in love with a specific artist. And finally, as has become more important to my music chasing brain in the last few years, why this artist or album is important to music right now. What they’re doing to leave a mark on the world, in whatever small space or way.
So without any further ado, here it is, in no particular order (unless you’re particularly knowledgable or fond of the english alphabet) my 19 (well actually 20 cuz freaking Big Thief put out two!) favorite albums of 2019. It’s been a pleasure.
BETTER OBLIVION COMMUNITY CENTER / Better Oblivion Community Center
Spring 2019 in Denver was cold & breezy, sunny & exciting. I had spun the Phoebe Bridgers/Conor Oberst match-made-in-indie-emo-sad-folk-heaven record once through, but in late March I made a game time (like I bought a day-of ticket off stubhub at 6pm!) decision to drive down from work and see their show at the Gothic on South Broadway. I’d been up since 7am the night (morning?) before, watching opening day baseball live from Japan (on March 20th?!). Ichiro’s final game and I was feeling maybe a little emotionally fragile already. But anyway… Better Oblivion Community Center’s live show (they call them meetings) has all the potential to come off as cheesy or contrived. A recorded voice welcomes you, self-help-cult style, and invites you to “celebrate sound & light” & “travel the well worn pathways,” because “we are one.” A mystical backdrop gives a hint of what you’re in for (I didn’t know what I was in for...) with letters at the top reading “It will end in tears.” The band is brilliant, loose, & fun. They play all the songs. They play “Lua,” “Bad Blood,” & “Easy/Lucky/Free” from the endlessly varied Bright Eyes catalog. They turn Phoebe’s “Funeral” into a punk blast. They cover The Replacements! They wear shades and sing a song from lawn chairs! The show feels effortlessly cool and I feel like I’m part of something special again. Music has a way of doing that.
The record is perfectly equal parts Phoebe & Conor. From the opening lines, where Phoebe takes control with “my telephone it doesn’t have a camera” sounding for all the world like a gloriously mopey “Smoke Signals Vol. 2″ to the way Oberst sings the first lines of ethereal closer “Dominoes” sounding 100% like Cassadaga-era Bright Eyes. If you know & love either, you should know the other now. Phoebe carries a torch from early 2000′s emo with a sad-at-heart, genius songwriting style that emphasizes pinpoint autobiographical lyrics, a cutting, (even humorous at times) wit, and a teenage, feminist, internet, millennial heart. Oberst for his part has kept up a steady output since Bright Eyes, and (at least lyrically) doesn’t seemed to have cheered up much. Better Oblivion Community Center’s self titled debut feels fresh & catchy. While there is definitely an aching sadness in the duo’s songwriting, light hearted moments abound, and the writing often points to getting older, all hard work & growth. There is the bouncing outro to “Sleepwalkin’” where their voices rise in unison singing “Acting insane, playing it safe, I wasn’t sold on that plan anyways. Feeling afraid of making a change.” Or in the bright, rolling verses of “My City” where they go looking for “little moments of purpose.” But the one song I kept going back to; the one I recorded to cassette tape and played on almost every drive home from work at 4am through April & May, is the bittersweet closer “Dominoes.” Ironically, this one is a Taylor Hollingsworth cover (I think that’s him adding the random, spooky voice overs) but Conor takes the lead on vocals, singing a mostly lonely, hopeless tale, until the last verse when Phoebe cuts in. She’s “carpooling to kingdom come, into the wild purgatory.” Encouraging us to “Experience a magic rainbow, all you gotta’ do is follow. & if you’re not feeling ready… There’s always tomorrow.”
“The world will not remember when we’re old & tired / We’ll be blowing on the embers of a little fire…”
BIG THIEF / U.F.O.F. & Two Hands
2019 was the year that I finally finally got really really into Big Thief. A band’s band known for their live show (I still have yet to see them live) their following seems equal parts cult-y and universal. How a band that sounds the way they do, made it almost to the top of the indie-rock world is an exciting & inviting mystery.
This year, for me, the catalyst was “Cattails.” Released at the beginning of April, this song struck me and stuck with me, making its way onto almost every mix I made last Spring, Summer, & Fall (including this one for my Mom!) A real song of the year contender (& my #1 most listened to song of 2019 on spotify!), “Cattails” is a melodic, driving, beautiful tune, that finds singer & front person Adrienne Lenker marking Time (”riding that train in late June”) & Space (”going back home to the great lakes”) with grace & depth. There is a sacredness & mysticism tied up in a lot of Lenker’s writing and she refers to her writing experience with “Cattails” saying…
“It was one of those electric, multicolored waves of connectivity just sweeping through my body. I stayed up late finishing the song and the next morning was stomping around playing it over & over again. We thought why not just record it … & when James and I were playing it felt like a little portal in the fabric had opened and we were just flying. Listening back to it makes me cry sometimes.”
In truth, U.F.O.F. (the last f stands for “friend,” a way of humanizing the foreign) is a gorgeous record. Soft & gentle, full of songs about the constant tussle between things known & unknown. A real headphones-on-an-airplane record. And then, out of nowhere, Big Thief announced that they had a second (!) record on the way in the Fall. A dirt & earth twin for U.F.O.F., a special surprise gift for their burgeoning fan base. They announced Two Hands with the vicious single “Not,” a song very unlike “Cattails.” A brooding, ravenous rock song that made me remember why I love unhinged, well-written, unafraid rock & roll music. Another song of the year contender. If you’ve followed this blog the last few months, my well thought out comments to “Not” were “ohhhhhhhhhhhhh shit” & “oh my holy shit.” to the live version! But it was actually the second track on Two Hands that solidified Big Thief’s greatness for me. “Forgotten Eyes” is sonically similar to “Cattails” and rides the same effortless rhythm, driven by Lenker’s repeating guitar riff and James Krivchenia’s consistently impressive drumming. The riff seems to fall in & out magically, and the writing bookends “Cattails” with lyrics that speak to both a great pain & a great universal truth. While she wanders through homelessness & death, Lenker reflects beautifully on the life cycle we (& our planet, & maybe everything?) are all going through.
“Forgotten dance is the one left at birth / Forgotten plants in the fossils of earth / & they’ve long passed but they are no less the dirt / Of the common soil keeping us dry & warm / The wound has no direction / Everybody needs a home & deserves protection…”
BLACK BELT EAGLE SCOUT / At the Party With My Brown Friends
After finding Black Belt Eagle Scout’s debut album late last year, I soundtracked many a dusk, dawn, or midnight drive with her swirling vocals & entrancing guitar, usually in the cold & dark, through the early part of 2019. It made my 2018 favorites list, and her Larimer Lounge show in May was a highlight. I guess it makes sense then, that I didn’t truly fall for her sophomore album At the Party With My Brown Friends (released in August) until it got cold in November and I was able to take it out for some dark, snowy drives. Moody & serious at times, Black Belt Eagle Scout sounds every bit like the gray Pacific Northwest where front person Katherine Paul (KP) hails from. The lyrics are simple, repeating phrases, full of deep, important ideas. Family & friends. People & land. There are bursts of guitar coming out of rewarding slow builds, shredd-y, rhythmic, & melodic. Also, all the instruments on ATPWMBF are played by KP, and the drumming is fucking fantastic.
I have some sort of longer form writing building somewhere in the back of my mind about listening to music in cars, and both Black Belt Eagle Scout albums are perfect examples for that. I have always loved the feeling of having roads (highways or simply long straight dirt back roads) & music to listen to. In high school, we would sometimes get in the car simply to drive & listen to music (small town life ya know?) and I still relish any chance I get to take new (or old & long loved) songs & albums on road trips or just commutes around town. The time to sit with the songs, to focus on nothing but the words & melodies, instruments & voices, & the pull of the road, mystical & magical. Black Belt Eagle Scout’s songs have been a calming companion on a lot of drives over the last year, and I recommend you taking them out on a spin of your own. Drive to that coffee shop that’s 30 minutes away that you’ve been wanting to go to, drive out of town just to drive, alone with your thoughts & the road. You just might learn something about yourself.
“& I wake up / I love you / Screaming loudly / Screaming softly too / Am I here? / My heart dreams…”
BON IVER / i,i
Bon Iver is a long time favorite and if you’ve followed this blog at all, you know how much I love his albums and how much Justin Vernon’s Eaux Claires festival has helped shaped my musical timeline. Seeing 22, A Million (the record that precedes i,i) live in Wisconsin by the river for the first time, was something special. That record made my 2016 favorites list, but until this year, until i,i, my story of the music felt very insular. Special & secret for me, confined to very specific times & places. Only to make me feel certain things. It’s why I was hesitant to buy a ticket to see the Red Rocks show last September. Or why I questioned streaming the album early while I was on vacation in Holden Beach, North Carolina. I thought the songs were only meant to carry me back to the river, back to Wisconsin, back to the Summer. Back to a very specific, special place in my heart. But thanks to the wonders of spotify, and the Bon Iver crew just up and releasing the album a week early under the simple & generous guise of “wanting folks to have the album & learn the songs before the tour!!” I obliged and… YESSSS that’s how you do an album release in 2019! I had the album in my headphones as I ran and sweated on the beach in North Carolina, letting brand new songs transport me thousands of miles away.
i,i is a gloriously weird, perfected mess of a hit indie record. It’s everything I wanted the next chapter of the Bon Iver story to be. It feels personal & widescreen. Little moments stretched out and shared with family & friends. Lyrics about growth & hard work & life (& a few WTFs, it’s Bon Iver after all!) The gang’s all here again (the massive crew that worked on the album are all pictured on the record’s gloriously, weird inside gatefold!) recorded from Vernon’s home (April) base in Wisconsin, to Sonic Ranch in west Texas (also pictured in the liner notes) walking distance from our southern border. The sounds are all here again too. There are hints of For Emma’s Winter falsetto folk in the gorgeous acoustic guitar of “Marion.” There are the industrial swells & stomps, bleeps & bloops of bi, bi’s Spring in the warbling, green grass, warmth of “Holyfields.” Then there is the distortion, the choppy samples of 22, in the jigsaw glory of “iMi,” the way it starts & stops, all choruses & voices, real & programmed. Threads of new songs tied up with threads from long, long ago. There is a fullness to i,i, a generosity, a true front to back album, with hits & new favorites sprinkled everywhere. The second half blooms with the charging folk of “Salem” & “Faith” and the contentedness of closer “RABi.” These are songs that I will love for years to come. These songs make me happy. They make me think. They make me want to share them with friends. They make me want to work on relationships. Songs about life. Songs about true, unconditional friendship. As Justin said way back in 2015, when my journey with the Bon Iver story began “The story is history, nothing more. Only the music can rise anew. & it is gone as soon as it is sung. & so we sing again…” I am soo soo happy to sing again, with songs anew.
“Living in a lonesome way / Had me looking other ways / Cuz I am lost here again / But on a bright Fall morning I’m with it / I stood a little within it…”
EARTHGANG / Mirrorland
EARTHGANG’s major label debut Mirrorland comes in hot & dancing, a hip hop duo with a true tribute to Southern culture, and a whole world encapsulated in 14 tracks. My personal introduction to the EARTHGANG universe, came courtesy of a dusk till dark dance fest at Denver’s Underground Music Showcase on South Broadway back in sweaty July. Their energy was infectious, their stories hilarious, & their songs stuck in my head. Specifically the Young Thug featuring “Proud Of U,” a song that carries enthusiasm & positivity through to the end. Other standouts include colorful, bouncing opener “LaLa Challenge,” & the squealing horns of Atlanta hot spot, name dropping “Wings.” A concept album of sorts Mirrorland references “The Wiz” as a jumping off point saying,
“We thought about how, if we’re going to make a project sonically to rival The Wiz, we got to create another world for people to imagine & go to. You know when Dorothy got swept away and she met the Munchkins? That was such a beautiful thing. You could see Quincy Jones on the piano, just playing away. It’s really colorful. It’s really dangerous. It’s really trippy. It’s literally Freaknik Atlanta in the summertime—folks riding around in cars with big rims with paint on their faces.”
EARTHGANG was formed in 2008 by high school buddies Johnny Venus & Doctur Doc in Atlanta, GA. It’s impossible to ignore Outkast comparisons and for their part, EARTHGANG does their best to keep up the Southern hip hop tradition. Mixing in bits of soul, blues, & jazz, Mirrorland plays like an homage, a soundtrack to the South. A real reminder that the album is not dead. These songs sound best played together. Also, that the hip hop group, or duo, is not dead. And finally, that touring and playing live shows is most definitely not dead. I probably still wouldn’t have heard about EARTHGANG if it wasn’t for their primo UMS slot (at the same Import Mechanics stage where Leikeli47 & Kiltro played!) and infectiously positive live show. Speaking of their live show, see y’all at Cervantes on February 3!
“One time, one time for your baby moms / Two time for the hand in the candy jar / Holy Ghost showed up in my favorite thong / Three times in the car for the way we are / Another white man scared, another black man dead / Another rich man war, another red man bled / I been writing this album down way too long / When I drop my shit, pray it hit the toilet like lala, lalalalala...”
FRUIT BATS / Gold Past Life
In the Autumn of 2013, my coworker Cassandra Disney at Mile High Organics played me “When You Love Somebody” by Fruit Bats (had that song already been out for 10 years in 2013?!) on one of her early morning work mixes, and I immediately put it on one of my favorite (if embarrassingly bro-folk heavy) mixes I have ever made myself. Discovering a weird/cool indie band in the vein of all my other loves (Band of Horses, The Shins, Modest Mouse, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, etc…) but more underground (!) was hipster heaven. I subsequently forgot about Fruit Bats for awhile, but was reminded with their graceful “comeback” album Absolute Loser in 2016. Although that one missed my favorites list, it gradually became a constant road trip companion; from the mountains of Colorado, through the great American Southwest, and even on some epic Mexican back roads. All alt-country, lost 70′s AM radio classics, and wistful, witty, & wise writing about highways and scenery. A true classic.
I was therefore super excited for Gold Past Life (Fruit Bats’s seventh album?!) to drop on Merge Records this Summer, and fell in love pretty quickly on a late afternoon drive across the high road between Taos and Santa Fe, New Mexico back in late June. Swirling guitar, bouncy piano. and Eric D. Johnson’s piercing, clear, impassioned vocals. Fruit Bats sound timeless & effervescent. Upbeat guitar rock with some weird twists, and Johnson’s consistently bittersweet, humorous, & big hearted lyrics. Growing up, growing older, & grinning a wry smile at a golden world. After catching back to back beautiful Fruit Bats shows in Fort Collins & here in Denver at the Bluebird this September, these folks are the real deal. Long live touring bands, long live seventh albums, long live music marking time & space! Here’s to many more Fruit Bats albums, Gold Past Life will be car stereo classic for awhile.
“Still waiting around for some mystical shift in the winds / So honey please, don’t go just yet / Cigarette fingers, a shake in the knees / A bit blue, kind of tired, but not broken… Anticipating a magical bend in the road / So hang on, take it slow / Your go bag is packed & your hangover gone / Another dawn at the edge of the known world…”
HISS GOLDEN MESSENGER / Terms of Surrender
Durham, North Carolina’s Hiss Golden Messenger (folklorist, family man, & singer-songwriter MC Taylor & revolving crew) have become something of a mainstay on this music blog & in my car’s cd player over the last five years. I picked up a used (!), advance (!) copy of Lateness of Dancers in the $1 bin at a record store in Seattle, Washington. after having been passed a burned copy of his 2010 solo album Bad Debt by an old coworker. Lateness ended up on my 2014 favorites list. Two years later, Heart Like A Levee made my 2016 list, and the next year, Hallelujah Anyhow was one of my favorites of 2017! I referred to the songs on Hallelujah as Hiss “building a repertoire, creating a legacy.” This may seem like quite a bit of superfluous backstory, but believe me, it is essential to the story, a journal of the journey. Geographic art for a topographic heart if you will. But anyway, Terms of Surrender…
The title is cryptic, referencing (as Taylor puts it “what we are prepared to sacrifice in order to live the lives that we think we want”) and the songs are deep (& growing deeper) & timeless. Not so much timeless in the way Yola’s songs sound timeless (skip down a few albums on this list to read about Yola!) but timeless in the way the songs seem to seep their way into my bones and stay for years. Terms burst on the scene with the release of the first single “I Need a Teacher” back in stormy June. With bright, rolling guitar stabs courtesy of The National’s Aaron Dessner (whose upstate New York recording studio was home for the Terms recording sessions), “Teacher” is about “the search for infallible guidance in an ever-changing universe.” but it is also about everyday work. Dedicated every night of the tour to all the teachers in the room, a political statement wrapped up in the seemingly obvious sentiment of “Defend Public Schools.” See what I mean? Timeless songs written for the here & now. “Bright Direction” & “My Wing” are reminiscent of Hallelujah’s “Jenny” & “Darkness.” a 1-2 punch of driving, drifting major key numbers, written from a hillside in Virginia, high on mushrooms. They contain multitudes. With a murky middle (Brad Cook gets funky on “Old Enough to Wonder Why” & “Cat’s Eye Blue”) & the already canonical Hiss’ live fav “Happy Birthday Baby,” the back half of Terms spreads out the Hiss’ sound in new ways. New live favorite, the nostalgic “Down at the Uptown,” had me googling maps of San Francisco to find the mythical Uptown bar where Taylor first heard Patti Smith’s Horses.
In late October, Hiss played an absolutely glorious three night run at little Globe Hall over in Globeville, just Southeast of where Interstate 70 meets Interstate 25. I went to all three shows. The shows were special & career spanning; from “Jesus Shot Me in the Head,” to Dead covers (& a Jesus & Mary Chain cover!) to all the Terms songs. I spent the Saturday afternoon before show #2, walking around the disappearing & rapidly gentrifying neighborhood in & around Globeville (& drifting across the highway into Sunnyside) listening to Terms of Surrender on my headphones. Thinking about the things I’m willing to sacrifice, thinking about the life I want, what are my Terms? After all, “It’s a real live world & I wanna live in it.”
“Something drove me crazy / Love had me lazy / Backwards won’t get me to my destination / Move me in some bright direction / Looking to be captured, looking for my freedom / Oh, dreams will come to get you / So careful what you’re wishing / Your family might correct you / Your heart might take a pounding / Make sure you take a picture…”
JUNE JONES / Diana
I can’t remember where I first heard of June Jones, but I’d like to think it was from one of my many Australian music friends (thanks Camp Cope, Julia Jacklin, Middle Kids, Courtney Barnett, Gang of Youths etc…!) The music community is a wonderful thing. June’s songs can be hard to explain, but Diana is an epic album that burns with a steady, stately drama. Most of the songs ride swelling synths and measured, 80’s sounding drums and center around June’s unique, emotive voice and head turning lyrics. Jones had fronted the Australian rock band Two Steps on the Water and written songs on the guitar for many years, but it’s pretty clear from listening to the writing and sound on Diana that these songs were meant for piano, synth, and a solo album. Her own writing. Her own words.
The album begins with the brooding “Rome From Afar” and the opening line “I got drunk again last night & I fell down outside the bathroom at my little sister’s party.” It then follows a dancing bass line into an apocalyptic nightmare of a world ending. “Meryl” is a gorgeous, autobiographical (?) song, an ode to “complicated” hard working women everywhere. There are parts of Diana that nod to it being a break up album, like in the gorgeously melancholic “Boulder Falling Slow” (”I am a boulder falling slow / You’re a magnificent spiderweb”) but I have been viewing it as just a complex, everyday life album. Jones lets her magnificent voice trail slowly over seemingly uncomfortable or awkward topics that she strives to make… not so. Sorry Alex Cameron, your “eating your ass like an oyster” line in “Miami Memory” is only the second best “eating ass” line this year after Jones’ “Look at You Go!” Her voice often belies the emotion in her lyrics, she works it up & down, and lets it stretch out over words, like in lonely closer “Sixteen Horses,” but she also sounds almost matter of fact at times. There is a moment in the piano led “Thorn” where she glibly throws “Have you seen the moon tonight? No, me neither, who cares about the moon when everything is dying?” over an understated horn trill. Everything is dying after all, but I want June Jones to sing it to me like an Australian Lana Del Rey or Matt Berninger. Trust me, you’ll be hearing more about June Jones in the coming years. Watch out.
“I haven’t thought too much about family / Ain’t got no husband or a couple of kids / I’ve spent 26 years in this office / I said goodbye to my relationships a long time ago / What does the mayor of a small town heart do after she retires?”
JUSTIN PETER KINKEL-SCHUSTER / Take Heart, Take Care
My long time music friend Adam over at songsfortheday had been trying to tell me about Justin Peter Kinkel-Schuster for quite a few mixes with songs I loved from his 2016 release Constant Stranger. But it somehow wasn’t until I needed Take Heart, Take Care, that Schuster’s work hit me right. It didn’t feel like a light at the end of the tunnel, but more like a light in the tunnel, something lasting, a collection of songs lifting up & out towards a light. As Schuster wrote upon it’s release…
“Here, I’ve fumbled my way, as always, and of necessity, into a collection of songs that hold a light to the joys & comforts of life not given up on, those that appear over time as we are looking elsewhere, to surprise & delight us when we need them most. Sure, it’s me, so there are glimpses of and nods to the dark, but the dark is not winning anymore. I simply mean to acknowledge its presence. To me, that’s the most fundamental job of songs, of stories, of all art — to be allies, friends, companions, when we need them most and it’s my hope that these songs can do that work in a world that seems to need it. If you are lucky enough to have something good to say, say it. Please. We’ll thank each other, now & later.”
So i guess it’s that second part that I have found solace in through my 20′s and into my 30′s. That songs (and stories & all art, but songs & albums seem to be my thing) can be allies, friends, & companions, and that sometimes (like Hanif Abdurraqib wrote in his brilliant collection of essays “They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us”)…
“If you believe, as I do, that a blessing is a brief breath to take in that doesn’t taste of whatever is holding you under: say I Speak To God In Public and mean more than just in his house, or mean more than just next to people who might also speak to God in public, or say God and mean whatever has kept you alive when so many other things have failed to.“
Take Heart, Take Care is a straightforward, well written, indie rock album. The songs ring true with light & darkness, an uplifting take on growing older and finding “Plenty Wonder” still to be found in the world. Schuster played the Hi-Dive on South Broadway in November, the last show on the Take Heart tour. A show I had bought tickets for months in advance, and I found myself in a crowd of maybe 15 people, celebrating the songs of Take Heart, Take Care. Listening to a writer with something good to say. Trying all in our own way to hold our own. I have a feeling I’ll keep these songs with me for awhile.
“Time is the mender / Whose strange mechanics yet untold / Bid us rise entwined together / So take heart, take care / Be true but beware / & honey we need not be scared…”
KARA JACKSON / A Song for Every Chamber of the Heart
In only 10 minutes & 42 seconds, Kara Jackson creates an intimate, magical world with just her voice and a guitar on her debut EP A Song for Every Chamber of the Heart. Four intricate & intentional songs, none longer than three minutes, finger picked slowly & methodically, Jackson balances a poetic, whimsical wandering with a steely focus on the craft of songwriting. These are the bones of songs, played honest & upfront, with no adornment. There is room for Jackson’s lyrics to really shine, all aching & wistful, yet practical. Like the way she balances “I have a crush, I have an ache” with “I know that love’s just a pain in the ass” in the bittersweet “Crush.” Her songs buzz with a youthful energy & teen angst. Wise beyond their years, finding their way in the world. As a songwriter and a poet, Jackson writes about race, activism, social justice, self, bodies, & humanity.
At 20 (!) years old, Chicago’s Jackson is... oh also a poet. The 2019 National Youth Poet Laureate (!) in fact, and it was her absolutely breathtaking writing about being a teenager that first caught my attention. She quotes Gwendolyn Brooks (pulitzer prize winning American poet) in her Ted Talk saying “write what’s under your nose.” She says that Brooks took the mundane and put it on a pedestal. That she understood there are “poems in train cars, poems on front lawns, & poems in microwaves & tea kettles.” An almost obligation to celebrate the ordinary. Ordinary folks celebrating similar ordinary folks. It’s the way that John Darnielle howls on The Mountain Goats song “Werewolf Gimmick” (track nine on 2015′s Beat the Champ) about “nameless bodies in unremembered rooms.” In his prerelease essay for Merge Records, music writer Joseph Fink wrote that the entire career of The Mountain Goats has been about “giving names to nameless bodies and remembering unremembered rooms.” and what a worthy cause that is. That thought has stuck with me for years and I have always loved the specificity of it. Whether it is Darnielle resurrecting historical characters real or fictional, or the way Lady Lamb (keep reading a few more albums down!) celebrates the specifics of her friends & family, in all the messy details. Written in song, remembered forever. It is also essential that all cultures have artists who look like them and think like them, as the ones doing the remembering. It’s why it’s so important that Kara Jackson is the one doing the remembering for young black girls. The same way Eve Ewing did for her, and Gwendolyn Brooks did before that. I can appreciate the magic of the remembering, but I need to let them be the ones to tell the stories. Oh, speaking of appreciating, I bugged Jackson enough on social media and got a handmade PHYSICAL copy of the EP that I’m hanging onto forever cuz it’s probably gonna be like the next original pressing of Bon Iver’s For Emma! Thanks Kara!
“Don’t take my pillowcase, that's my place to be alone / Don’t take my lamp from me, it helps me read about places I don’t know / Don’t take a lot for me to be on my own...”
KILTRO / Creatures of Habit
My end of the year albums list usually has at least one local Denver band. The Lumineers way back in 2012, Gregory Alan Isakov & Covenhoven in 2013, Nathaniel Rateliff, Covenhoven (again!), & The Yawpers in 2015, Nina de Freitas in 2017 (hey Nina & the Hold Tight, new album in 2020 please?!), and Izcalli last year. Kiltro is a part Coloradan, part Chilean folk band that have been putting on one of my favorite live shows around town this year. The brainchild of Chris Bowers-Castillo, a native Coloradan who spent time growing up in Valparaiso, Chile, Kiltro is named after the Spanish word “Quiltro” meaning a mixed breed dog. A dog that Kiltro has taken for their logo. In their own way, Kiltro is a mix breed; both in the way they mix the sounds of South America with the folk music of North America, and also the way they mix organic, acoustic instrumentation, with electronic, looping sounds and effects pedals. Their live show is a masterclass in layers, with Bowers-Castillo adding loops of guitar rhythms (sometimes simply bare hands slapping beats on the top of the guitar) to steady bass & drums, until the songs swell & build into dramatic crescendos and almost EDM-influenced drops. The extended intros & outros are my favorite parts of their songs and the live versions (from their sweaty 2pm UMS dance party, to Lulu’s Downstairs in Manitou Springs) have stirred hearts & feet alike with dancing not usually found in the Colorado “indie-hipster” scene. Keep an eye on these guys and maybe come out to Larimer Lounge in January and witness the dance party for yourself!
“Somewhere down the bank where the dogs go / Por la calle que te lleva a Curicó / & down the beach, where no others can find / Ni por agua, piso, coche, ni avión...”
LADY LAMB / Even in the Tremor
As I have been writing this year’s favorites list, I’m realizing that so many of the albums I loved & learned, came hand in hand with experiencing the artist, and specifically that new album, live. Lady Lamb released Even in the Tremor, her masterful & moving third album, way back in April, and I had a Spring-y three weeks to learn all her intricate, visceral lyrics to sing back at her Larimer Lounge stop in Denver on the Deep Love tour. Maine by way of Brooklyn’s (by way of a bunch of other places) Aly Spaltro has always written songs for Lady Lamb like her hair’s on fire. Wailing & gasping about blood & guts & death over spiraling electric guitar, there is a realness to her writing that reminds me of the east coast emo I grew up on. But for all the blood red gore & messy heartbreak that colors much of the Lady Lamb discography, there is a light hearted tenderness as well. Tremor has songs written for & about friends, lovers, parents, & god. Quirky opener “Little Flaws” is a first-dance-worthy love song, while personal favorites “Strange Maneuvers” & “Emily” are odes to platonic friendships, mental health, & growing up. In the same way I wrote about Kara Jackson celebrating the ordinary, Lady Lamb has always celebrated specifics of people, time & space. Tremor’s characters are Spaltro’s real life people (Emily, Shervin, Kurt (Kurtie Bear), Isaac, & her Mom), and the places (the diner, the batting cage, Templehof Park, Midtown, Berlin, Montreal, Madrid, a fast food joint, the stage of a church, someplace upstate, Lavanderia & Graham Ave) are specific, varied, & globe spanning. Her stories are autobiographical and rewarding and the music is stirring, singer-songwriter rock & roll with some punch behind it. She is one of my favorite modern writers for her ability to not just tell a story, but to find wonder in the small things and to celebrate the ordinary. Like she tells Shervin, minutes before “Emily” closes the album on a gorgeous, uplifting high note, “No photographic artifact, but here is something better than that.”
“There’s a picture that I found, my first car in the falling snow / Seems like yesterday I drove down into low tide / & Isaac snapped a polaroid of me pretending I was sinking, pressed against the glass pleading / I misplaced it but I’m looking... / When we are young, if only we could see beyond our fears where we are free / When we are lonely if only we could know that in our stillness we are growing... / All the portraits we collected, while we were running around in the desert / We were trying to seem fulfilled to rewrite our New York City narratives / But Emily we were utterly dejected / We took turns crying on the passenger side of America / Too clouded to be empowered by towering Redwoods... / When did we lose the ancient truths? / Is it what we’re born bending our bodies toward?...”
LIZZO / Cuz I Love You
For much of 2019, Lizzo could be heard playing everywhere. The 31 year old Minnesotan’s third full length album Cuz I Love You, came out in April, after a busy three years of huge singles, consistent touring, & building a repertoire of songs capable of headlining arenas. When Lizzo finally exploded these last few years, it has been fun watching the whole world embrace her uptempo, bold, self-love anthems, and hearing them blaring from open Subaru windows in Cap HIll, from balconies & rooftops in uptown, and on the lips of countless joggers & bikers, loving themselves in the Denver Summer sun. I know for my part, I took Lizzo with me to the beaches of North Carolina & through the Southern mountains of Colorado, dancing, singing, & gleefully giggling along. Bottom line, the songs on Cuz I Love You are FUN! You try not to crack a smile as Lizzo romps through “Never been in love before, what the fuck are fucking feelings yo?” on the bouncing, brassy, vocal led, track one title track MOMENT. Or the way she makes up the word “accessorary” on the spot (“my ass is not an accessorary”) and then fires back with “Yeah, I said it, accessorary!” Lizzo has been an outspoken supporter of our generation’s version of the self-love, body positivity movement, and has put her money (and body) where her mouth is, inspiring legions of teens & twenty somethings to do the same. “Soulmate” is a loner anthem that finds Lizzo belting “True love ain’t something you can buy yourself / True love finally happens when you’re by yourself / So if you by yourself, then go and buy yourself another round from the bottle on the higher shelf.” The soulful slowdown “Jerome” is about being the bigger person and ending a relationship that isn’t working. Lizzo manages to actually address her own issues, focus on the work she needs to do (“I’m trying to be patient & patience takes practice.”) and still absolutely belt a singalong chorus that rhymes Jerome with “take your ass home.” Also, the deluxe version of Cuz I Love You tacks on three previous Lizzo singles that hadn’t found an album home. Those singles? “Boys,” “Truth Hurts,” & “Water Me.” Three songs totaling almost 555 MILLION plays on Spotify. With apologies to Ariana Grande & Billie Eilish (Billie see ya in a few months at the Pepsi Center!) Lizzo is the biggest superstar that I want on this list. And she 100% deserves every bit of it.
“If I’m shinin’ everybody gonna’ shine...”
ORVILLE PECK / pony
There is an appealing, theatrical quality to the dramatic country songs on Orville Peck’s debut record Pony. I spent my high school years growing up in small town Western Colorado so country music has been embedded in my brain since I was 11. I’ve gone through so many phases of loving it, hating it, loving it ironically, nostalgically, hating it for it’s sound, cheesiness, backwards politics, etc... But with Pony; these are true country songs written by a gay, masked cowboy anti-hero from.. Toronto? Maybe? Who is Orville Peck?!?! It’s like all the best parts of “country” music came together. And the mask? The fringe? All the packaging & theatrics? It makes it fun. Part Bowie, part Coheed & Cambria, part Grace Jones, part Ghost, part Brandon Flowers. Hollywood meets Vegas meets Carson City.
When I listen to Orville Peck’s songs it brings together so many feelings from my youth. From country radio & boxes of old country cds, to the dramatic side of theatre, play acting on a stage, dress-up, halloween, cowboys, loneliness, & the open road. From the tumbleweed roll & mournfully powerful coyote howl of opener “Dead of Night,” to the shoegaze rumble, autumn ride of “Winds Change.” Peck’s lyrics are honest & heartfelt, drawing on sweeping, western imagery, & idolizing the classic country ideal... the cowboy. Music marks time & place and Peck makes sure to reference the cities along his highway songs. Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, Carson City, Kansas, a veritable Rand McNally road map of the American West. In the same manner as both Black Belt Eagle Scout albums, Fruit Bats, & Caroline Rose from last year, it wasn’t until a highway drive that I truly fell in love with Pony. It was a brilliant November sunset & still warm, but windy & changing, and we knew we had to hustle to beat the snow back to Denver. Highway 159 from the Southern Colorado border through Costilla County, on the way towards Fort Garland & then Walsenburg. Purple & Orange out the window to my left, Winter on it’s way. Peck’s songs sang with a heartache... a loss. a rhinestone loneliness that country finds a way to revel in. When “Kansas (Remembers Me Now)” statics out like a long lost FM radio. When “Hope to Die” fake ends at 3:30 and instead key change pivots like a washed-up Broadway starlet, shooting her shot on a dusty jukebox. When “Nothing Fades Like the Light” draws its last, peaceful breath, closing Pony like the last light of that November sunset. Thanks Orville, this one’s a classic.
“Fell in love with a rider / Dirt king, black crown / Six months on a knucklehead hog / I like him best when he's not around / He gets me high, oh, big sky... Fell in love with a boxer / Stayed awake all year / Heartbreak is a warm sensation / When the only feeling that you know is fear / I don't know why, oh, big sky...”
RAPSODY / Eve
Rapsody’s third album Eve is a masterclass on rap music, and the Snow Hill, North Carolina rapper sounds relaxed & loose, while still staying focused & on topic with an album that reads as, as Rapsody herself puts it “a love letter to all black women including myself.” She is at the top of her game right now, and these songs cement Rapsody as one of the premier rappers in an exciting field of rap talent both young & old.
Each track on the album is dedicated to one of Rapsody’s personal heroes, and I am going to focus these words & my research for Eve (besides listening to it nonstop, which I’m currently doing now!) on those black women. Track one is for Nina Simone (”without Nina there’s no Lauryn Hill, & without Lauryn Hill there’s no Rapsody.”) and features critically important verses about black heritage & culture over Nina’s terrifying & sobering classic “Strange Fruit.” Rapsody is recognizing her legacy and the importance of heritage, but she is clearly claiming her spot in that bloodline. “Cleo” preaches standing up for yourself over a Phil Collins sample (between Cleo & Lucy Dacus, “In the Air Tonight” is getting some serious love this year!) and is named after Queen Latifah’s character in the 1996 movie “Set it Off.” From there Rapsody recognizes artists (Aaliyah), philanthropists (Oprah & Michelle Obama), actresses (Whoopi), athletes (Serena Williams & Ibtihaj Muhammed), writers (Maya Angelou & Reyna Biddy), models (Iman & Tyra Banks), and historical figures & activists (Hatshepsut, Myrlie Evers-Williams, Sojourner Truth, & Afeni Shakur). Bottom line, ALL of these women are essential google material (you’re reading this on your phone or laptop, google and give yourself a five minute refresher if there’s anyone you don’t already know!) While you’re at it, google the lyrics for Eve (and Jamila Woods’ equally incredible, equally name dropping LEGACY! LEGACY!) and listen along. This is an important time capsule document for Rapsody and it’s just a damn good rap album.
“I am Nina & Roberta, the one you love but ain't heard of / Got my middle finger up like Pac after attempted murder / Failed to kill me, it's still me, woke up singing Shirley Murdock / As we lay these edges down, brown women, we so perfect...”
SABA LOU / Novum Ovum
When I listen to Saba Lou’s intoxicating sophomore album Novum Ovum, I am transported to somewhere magical & different. Maybe older, maybe out of place & time. Everything about Novum feels… classic. From the dusty, record-store-bin-find look of the out of focus cover photo, to the laidback natural way Saba Lou seems to dance along on top of a rollicking house band lifted from the 70’s. There are elements of surf rock, shoegaze, late night soul, and classic rock & roll on Ovum, but it is all driven by the singular writing & vocals of Saba Lou. In the liner notes of the record, a note can be found, claiming that this album is meant to be from the future. 2286 to be exact! Is a concept album?! Is it actually from the future & delivered to us by a time traveling band of Germans?!! Does it have songs about Star Trek??!! Maybe, mayyyybeee... & YES!
Yet to turn 20 (!), Saba Lou is a German born singer songwriter who has been making & releasing music since she was literally six years old! Novum Ovum is Latin for “the new egg” and features a hot four piece full band, and wonderfully fleshed out songs that bounce and swing with palpable energy. The lyrics span an awesomely wide spectrum from endometriosis pain (the title track obv) to a Star Trek mindmeld tune sung from the perspective of Gracie the pregnant whale (closer “Humpback in Time”)!! All in all, Saba Lou is an absolutely electric songwriter and her youthfulness & fervor are contagious. It’s the reason I love making this list every year, and what makes discovering new music so exciting. Can’t wait for the next one!
“A brick wall around your placenta / Cut them all off from her mother blood / The hounds call for appassionata / A phoenetic paste for the fetal bud...”
SHARON VAN ETTEN / Remind Me Tomorrow
Over the last few years I started the practice of making a draft favorite albums list in January and adding albums throughout the year, as I fall in love with them. This way I don’t forget the ones I loved in January & February, the ones that got me through the backend of the Winter. I’m able to track my year in music as it develops, a sort of captain’s log. A living, personal journal using music to mark time & space as I sprint my way through another increasingly faster, increasingly chaotic year. Sometimes, scrolling through the list acts as a comfort. “That album only came out this year?! OK, this year isn’t moving too fast, that feels like forevvverrrr ago!” Sometimes it helps to show me how much I’ve grown, how much an album has meant, or has helped with my mental & emotional growth. This year, the very first album I added to that list, the very first album that I fell hard & holy hell in love with... was Sharon Van Etten’s Remind Me Tomorrow.
A blast of energy. A weird synthy, pulsing red & blue darkness. Simultaneously club-y & indie rock vibey. Van Etten’s fifth album is supposedly written from a place of contentment. A marriage, a child, a life & happiness discovered. Less desperation, more introspection. I hear in her voice & words, how taking care of yourself, how striving to be your best self, can bring out the most powerful, most emotional art. She also isn’t afraid to let her voice go and I think her vocal performances are what truly take Tomorrow to another level. “Memorial Day” rides a haunting vocal loop & tumbles in nearly wordless, glimmering vowels, all ethereal magnificence. The chorus of the brooding “Jupiter 4″ spirals upwards & then rollercoasters, a late night drunken banger. But at the heart of Remind Me Tomorrow sits one of my songs of the year, one of my songs of the decade, “Seventeen.” I had heard it first live, way back in October 2018 in the rain in the mountains at Red Rocks. I got tipsy & wrote about it the day it came out, January 8, 2019, after a long, cold stretch working the night shift. This album & especially this song will stay with me for a long time. Sharon has taught me to keep working on myself. To look back in fondness. To think about how, with hard work, how much joy & peace & comfort await in my coming years. But she also taught me to lean into emotions. To embrace the ache of memories and the bittersweetness of growing up. Thanks for making this album Sharon.
“Downtown hotspot, halfway up the street / I used to be free, I used to be 17 / Follow my shadow around your corner / I used to be 17, now you're just like me / Down beneath the ashes & stone / Sure of what I've lived and have known / I see you so uncomfortably alone / I wish I could show you how much you've grown...”
TIM BAKER / Forever Overhead
I have a special feeling tied to the collection of intimate, swirling songs Tim Baker released this year from Canada. Forever Overhead carries a certain small town holiness, recognizable to those who grew up in small towns , but specific to his own personal, north-north-eastern-eastern “small” town, St Johns, in Newfoundland & Labrador, Canada. Growing up on the farthest coast of the Atlantic on the tippy, tippy point of Canada (seriously google it!), Baker fronted emo band Hey Rosetta! for four albums until striking out this Spring on his own with Arts & Crafts Records. There is a very Springsteen-esque bent to the way he writes about growing up somewhere (as someone) small & wanting to be somewhere very big and exciting. He captures the bittersweetness of growing up so perfectly. From the teenage romantic feelings in swaying opener “Dance” & the rousing “Mirrors,” to the friends & bars & singing found in the melancholic “Spirit” and the absolute hit “All Hands.” The latter is the core of the album, a bright, rhythmic guitar number that builds & swells with voices & instrumentation to a few huge, singalong choruses. A real song of the year contender. Baker isn’t afraid to let the songs go on journeys on Forever Overhead and they rarely finish where they begin. Horns & handclaps burst in at points, celebratory & fearless. The sexual tension of “Strange River” is lightened with a false start and a “sorry. In ‘D’” followed by a belly laugh, before restarting. The light & dark are present throughout Overhead and listening to these songs remind me of growing up. I feel like I’m being given a secret glance into Baker’s youth and the parts that mirror mine make me want to lift my voice in unison with those that understand. Sometimes small collections of well written & well played songs can do that, and to me... it’s sacred. Hopefully I get a chance to visit St Johns someday, and if I do, these songs will be playing as my soundtrack.
“A boy in bed, all the windows wide / You can hear the hot rods running from the light / From the light, into the dark / That's all I wanted in my cousin's car / To listen to the wind & to the lead guitars / & feel the reckless running of your heart / Now is that gone or does that all remain? / Can I go back and have it all again? / Well now I know it, where I'm going / I'm going back behind the river / I'm going back behind the rain / Cuz no matter where you're heading / You end up where you’ve been...”
YOLA / Walk Through Fire
It’s clear from the first minute & 30 seconds of Yola’s debut full-length Walk Through Fire, that this album is destined to be an all-time classic. She comes in slow & wistful with “wish I knew what you were wishing for...” over a soft wash of cymbals and mournful country-soul guitar. Then one minute in, her voice swells to gigantic proportions, seeming to lift the song right off the page, carried into another stratosphere, timeless & magnetic. That “Faraway Look” in your eyes.
From there, Yola (36 year old Yolanda Quartey from Bristol, England) takes her commanding voice through bluesy, fiddle-led country (”It Ain’t Easier” & the title track), and laid back soul (”Shady Grove” & “Deep Blue Dream”). Personal fav “Ride Out In The Country” became a backroads, summer anthem for me this year on multiple trips through Southern & Western Colorado. Through it all, her voice booms, whispers, & rocks gently, propelling the songs forward with warmth & light. Her lyrics are full of both dreamy memories & work-a-day stories about the challenges of life. It was fun this year to have different friends & family members get into Yola at different times, getting texts like “have you heard of YOLA??!!” Sharing songs, & collections of songs (like the ones on Walk Through Fire) is what makes making this list every year so fun, and I’m always excited to see what new, life-long favorites I will discover. See you in a couple months at the Bluebird Theater on Colfax here in Denver Yola!! Can’t wait!
“A little shady grove / A memory long ago / A tale too old to know the ending / I gave it all away / It takes my breath away...”
#yola#tim baker#Sharon Van Etten#saba lou#Rapsody#orville peck#lizzo#lady lamb#kiltro#kara jackson#june jones#hiss golden messenger#fruit bats#earthgang#bon iver#black belt eagle scout#big thief#better oblivion community center#justin peter kinkel-schuster
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