#DAMN ive been stressed
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lars- n. e. ways
#;; lars mówi#DAMN ive been stressed#only slept 2-3 hours a night the last couple months#not related to anything just. talkin#parents are in jail. may possibly end up going to prison#gen losing most of our cognitive skills like weve got fucking. dementia or something bc of the lack of sleep#having to check dads games and our games and look up this and write this down#and go to doctors appointments and go shopping and feed the animals and eat and take my medicine and go here n go there#dads got cancer and a broken wrist (from the cops)#and moms got a broken knee that wont get looked at#we're gearing up for a lawsuit against the prison since they're committing willful neglect#like. god damn make this shit quit#surprisingly we've only had what? 1 or 2 new alters split during this time?#im surprised since i imagine the high octane stress would have exploded the system's size#its only been calypso#whos technically already existed#just fully dormant#so idk?#does that count?#anyway#vent#dumb post im just stressed n explaining why
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she’s going to break something
click for better quality
reblogs >> likes
#night in the woods#nitw#nitw fanart#night in the woods fanart#mae borowski#nitw mae#mae nitw#night in the wood mae#my art?#ive wanted to make n.itw fanart for years and every time ive tried it has been Weirdly Impossible this is by far the furthest ive gotten#i did 57 different color versions of this and just ended up eyeballing colors from one of my dream sequence screencaps#yes there are layers that should be under other layers on top of them instead. no I don’t know how to fix this. yes ive used this program#for almost 6 years#it happens man#i just fuck around n try to make it work out in the end#havent posted fanart of any sort in. Long Time damn#n now ive got 3 posts in the drafts#i had. forgotten the stress element ngl#dang#the things suddenly rly wanting to draw cats again will lead you to do ig panik be damned#mmmmm I think this is one of the things that every time I look at it. i like it less im just gonna post it i think then#to be fair. i Did Not Sleep#anyways. this game is beautiful i want to draw so many things the colors. augh. eats them
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Do you think Bormaby ever barks alot at night and the neighbors (especially Frank) are just like:
realistic answer: i don't think he barks! at all!
for funsies answer: hee hee yea <3
#damn somethings fuckin with his mailbox. WOOF BARK WOOF AWOOOO-#also: bormaby#rambles from the bog#btw sorry the tags have been lacking lately everyone! ive just been so stressed that my brain is Fried!
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TASKMASTER EPISODE TITLES — Series 14
#taskmaster#taskmasteredit#tvedit#comedyedit#userbbelcher#chewieblog#panelshowsource#s14#tmeps#gif#*#i remember stressing after making the system of endless plates bc i was worried that it wasnt gonna fit the ratio#and then it did fit and i was like ive surely got the longest title done#and then i saw the guide for the finale and they had to do the longest title of tmhistory#like damn am i gonna have to remake seven of these gifs TT#and then praying it would have a simple bg so i coukld dupe it#anyways this is a project that i have been meaning to do for a long time and we;re allowed 30gifs now so it makes it more easier#and hopefully i wont be another abandoned one oops
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👍🏼🌟
#smudgy.png#trigun#livio the double fang#FINALLY DONE!!!!!#if it turns out this is smaller than i thought im gonna flip <3#ill. check it on pc later. (shaking)#ANYWAY. squishing him like a stress ball#i love him !!!!!!!! grrrrr. starts biting him#oh my godddd im already noticing things iwant to change but ive been working on this too❗damn❗long❗#so..... post !!!
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Either scam/Jodie 1c or oakworthy 1f :)
once again i did BOTH!!
um. ive never drawn scam i dont think LOL so i kinda just went with Funky Guy fjdsklfdjskd + i went with the somewhat more demonic jodie i drew last night 🕺 i'd like to think they were sort of an enemies to lovers thing. scam pissing jodie off til they fell in love. a "you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up" "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" kind of vibe 😌
hermie unworthy king of conflicted feelings + normal oak king of Big Emotions.......... my son boys!!!
[send a prompt!]
#dndads#oakworthy#scam likely dndads#jodie foster dndads#hermie unworthy#normal oak#scam x jodie#whatever these tags are man idk !!!!!! i think hes back to scam likely instead of scam actually#so im goin w/that lol#cereal tries to draw#asks#dungeons and daddies#scam is wearing like. a jumpsuit themed after uhhh. bowling alley carpet#and like a 60s/70s vibe idk when jumpsuits were popular i think the disco era#idk i was googling outfits and saw something like it then was like BOWLING ALLEY CARPET PATTERN#and sparkling skin. bc sure why not#and then yea just hermie stressing out over genuine affection or w/e#ive been drawing all day it's already 6pm damn
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Somehow
My apple pencil fell out of my bag when i got gas this morning
Stopped by the gas station on the way home to find it by the very pump i got gas at. It had clearly been run over a couple of times
BUT IT STILL WORKS
and ive already ordered replacement tips, a cap, and a case!
#literal miracle#i was so terrified it wouldn't work#ough#i wanted to draw today BUT HAD NO DAMN STYLUS#ive been stressed about this little fuckin pen all day#worried id have to drop $100 on a new one#cuz literally in a week im starting art full time#couldnt have happened at a worse time#but the universe threw me a bone#holy fuck
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wanting to be involved in your friend group as well as sharing your interest and anything about yourself
but you keep stopping bc all you can think is "who cares" and start getting so anxious about saying anything when it comes to your interests that they no longer feel like actual interest and you slowly loose enjoyment from them bc it somehow feels fake
like you know you're only gonna be about something for a month or 2 and now you don't get too invested into anything, especially not anything you're willing to gush about :\
#mental health#avpd#social anxiety#bpd#cluster c#avoidant personality disorder#been thinking about how ive been trying to push myself to just talk about anything im enjoying with friends#only to 1. coming up with nothing. and 2. feeling like why would give a damn if i did find something im interested in rn#it's gotten to the point where i see them talking about stuff i do like or know about#but get really stressed at the thought of dropping in and joining the convo like i constantly feel like im not welcomed for no reason
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// venting weird fandom feelings
I feel like I must be the only person who gets stressed af when I see someone else post their headcanons/theories for something i already have a lot of headcanons/theories about. Like, “oh shit someone else already did it now I can’t :(. If I post mine I’m stomping on their turf” or like I feel like mine are now wrong because clearly this person knows more about the topic than me or knows something I don’t. Which is wild because I should be excited when I see people who like the same things I do, but instead I feel weirdly territorial. I just have an odd inferiority complex about it
#honestly headcanons and theories for tes are fun to come up with#but stress me out in ways no other fandom ever has#it’s just so damn lore heavy that I always worry I’m gonna look like an idiot because I’ll post something that contradicts some random#book that shows up in a library in eso#mine#vent#kinda#I just get anxious about everything so there’s that#for awhile ive been like 'ok well i doubt theres anyone else you knows a lot about the niche my degree is in so i could apply that to tes'#but nope i just saw someone who posts about that so now my brain has barred me from ever posting about it#oh well i guess#which is why most of my art will be silly or light hearted becasue im too scared to post my actual thoughts about anything
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twitter is so fucking broken and annoying fuck you forever
i dont even get work from it lately i get work from nowhere things are very bad
#im being fake dramatic honestly yeah im not making any damn money but ive been studying a lot so im not as stressed out as i could be#very focused on smth else while still trying to entertain u guys with art and have fun together....
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considering faking my death to get out of this project. would still like to get a passing grade for it.
#googles how to get good grades even though you have died#ok this is about be a rant in a half and way too much info so excuse me but#ive been hyperfixating on our flag like crazy all month long#and i knew that and knew that i was going overboard#and i said all last weekend that i was feeling insane about it#but i didnt realize why until last night when i watched eps 6 & 7 and got mildly disappointed by what happened#because up until that point i was just having so much fun so that one small moment of not having fun#felt like a balloon had suddenly been popped and i was like OH FUCK! I HAVE TO DO THIS PROJECT!!!#like girl the reason we were hyperfixating that hard to such insane levels that we made a theory post about when ed and stede would fuck#was because we were avoiding doing/thinking about the project#and now ive just been sitting here still stuck and worried about this damn thing like holy shit when/how am i going to do this???#like holy shit did you know i was insane because i was stressed? i didnt!!#i have not stopped thinking about our flag all month and i just did not have time for all that!#AHHHH#anyway like......help i have to fake my death#personal
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the desire to do comms vs my inability to remember that i got a message FIGHT-
#its like 'oh a message! i will respond later'#and then later never comes cause i have no damn object permanence Or working memory#then its like... what do i even say#'hi sorry i ghosted your simple question for two days i forgot you messaged me' AGH#or especially lately#i mean to do things and then i get a New piece of distressing information about the way my life is going#which then consumes my thoughts and leaves no room for anything else#ahaha thanks! ill claw my eyes out now!! wow!!! FUCK!#trying to keep up the things i enjoy is. so tough rn#but ill flounder w/o em so! hard work that i am mostly failing at but i Keep Trying#yes i wanna do comms. yes i wanna draw. yes i wanna talk to people. can i? mmmmm......#can't wait for this chapter in my life to be over. goddamn.#ive been in a perpetual state of intense stress since early childhood#but my fucking duck things lately have been taking the cake#absolutely unprompted#oh no this is turning into a vent post Look Away#well my mother called again last night and was all 'im getting you a car'#and uh. i started physically shaking while profusely thanking her (lying through me teeth)#GIRL!!! I DONT NEED A CAR THATS TOO MUCH RN!!!#she's always mentioning how the collective We are tight on money#and that rn i need to focus on making decisions and getting a job ill hold for like. a month#and then she slams this down outta left field??? thats so much extra stress i dont need right now???#now i gotta worry about parking and maintaining it and gas money i dont have And And And-#i cant exactly tell her Dont Fucking Do That bc then she'll blow up in my face and call me inconsiderate & ungrateful again#me and my stepdad dont have the fucking TIME to get one! and then she was like 'oh i can always come down to help'#please dont. do not do that. i cant deal with you in person right now that sounds hellish#anyway. case in point#cant even think about messages and stuff i Want to think about bc all this bullshit is taking up my entire mind#metaphorically slamming my face into a brick wall till theres nothing left. aaaghhahsbkjadadj#its too much its Too Much everything is so much and its too much and can i be let be for two fuckin seconds please
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got these fancy melatonin gummies hoping they will heal me . they better not be snake oil............. but i would take a placebo effect at this moment LOL !!!!!!!!!
#ive been so damn ornery and its definitely cause im late on my T and im stressed out and no sleep and overstimulated and understimulated and#*it continues on for four paragaphs*#does a bear blog in the woods
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omg it’s been a while since you’ve updated, so I hope you’ve been having some of the most relaxing few days ever rather than stressful ones. and if it’s the latter, I’m so sorry about that and I hope you get the rest and relaxation you need ❤️😊💖
!!! if i'm being very honest for the past week i had a lot of homemade brownies and did a lot of puzzles while i had very bad internet connection which somehow really felt like. super relaxing and made a lot of other stress go away so.....
thank you so so much for these well-wishes they mean so much 🥺💙 looking forward to what i can give you the next few weeks 💙
#asks#ok tbh somehow i relaxed but dont feel relaxed#and also somehow i wasnt so stressed but damn the past month ive been overwhelmed#brain is wild and i should have paid attention in the biopsychology class i took in college#for brain stuff#but i really really appreciated getting this and thank you so much for it <3#it literally just. this ask made me so like.#happy
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This is like legit kind of stressing me out. I own all these games, bought them nearly 10 years ago. How are they all worth $100+ each?!?!?
Also yes I know the p2 innocent sin is with the cd soundtrack. That is the version that I have. I still have the cd in a box in my living room 😭
They all still have their booklets, too... if I decided to sell them, I could get a pretty penny for them...
#speculation nation#persona#BUT I WONT bc i still love them very much#seriously considering sticking innocent sin in the psp. i miss eikichi.#like im.not Genuinely stressed but it's just fucking crazy knowing that that first pick has like $600 worth of games in it#over... 3 games. god damn.#the p3p isnt the same version i have but my version is straight up unavailable on there. so.#crazy. wild. fucking astounding.#by just doing nothing i have acrued a great amount of value of video games#I DONT EVEN WANNA THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH MY WHOLE GAME DRAWERS ARE WORTH NOW 😭😭😭#I HAVE A LOT OF OLD GAMES MAN... IVE BEEN AT THIS SHIT FOR WELL OVER A DECADE... MAN........
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i have to make appointments & also let my doctor know id rather continue one of the new meds she put me on bc it actually helped but ive been completely unmedicated for 2 fucking days & the thought of doing Anything makes me wanna throw up im so over being a person
#mine#i rly do not have it in me to make appointments dawg i have medical trauma can i get used to one new doctor#before im tossed around like a gd hot potato to numerous others. i literally attend my appointments w my cane#what's not clicking abt me having VERY fucking low energy in the aftermath of sm straining stress bruh#but like i dont have a choice bc i could have some of my meds stopped if i dont see certain doctors & im just here like 🫠#i feel somewhat stupid like damn i rly thought finally i had a chill doctor w common sense but no i still gotta fight for my gd life#just be given say over MY OWN GODDAMN WELLBEING#'oh well this causes physical health concerns' to be completely blunt idfc anymore.#truly i fucking do not#my body is a fucking nightmare my entire system resents at this point bc we always have some lvl of bs going on w it#we've no choice but to stop fucking caring bc the numerous mental strains we're dealing w worsen them ON THEIR OWN#& also like literally fuck off bc my body wouldn't be this shit if doctors actually TOOK CARE OF ME PROPERLY#before it got this bad.#there's no fucking fixing shit now by worsening my already overwhelmed & strained body/mind by making me a gd hot potato#if im not Actively Perishing or on the immediate brink of the risk IDC#I NEED TO FUCKING BE ALLOWED TO //CHILL THE EVER LOVING FUCK OUT//#//that// SHOULD BE THE PRIORITU#ive been strained for YEARS but esp since last year to a CONSTANT degree#can i fucking get one GODDAMN foot on the ground to pick myself back up jfc#im so tired & annoyed & sick of there always being SOMETHING#i just wanna fucking chill & finish my preps to stream again & get back to pursuing what i love please#im gonna LOSE MY MIND
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