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#Crisis Cutie writes

crisiscutie · 1 year

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First Class Boyos reacting to their S/O booping their nose scenario.

This just came up in my head and I just had to write the boys reacting to it, enjoy~!

Genesis: He'd feign resistance, pulling his head away from you with an amused smirk on his face. He acts like he's so above it. Such a childish action won't be acknowledged by him, totally not. Then, you would try to do this in front of Sephiroth and Angeal. He’d really try to act like it bothers him in front of his friends, but his subtle, delighted grin and the sparkle in his mesmerizing blue-mako eyes tell you a different story when you finally did it. Just don't do it in public, however. He’d be so flustered. He has to look sharp to keep up his reputation, you know.

Sephiroth: The first time it happened, you two were caught in a playful argument. To end it, you leaned in and gave him a gentle boop on the nose. He was taken aback when he felt the soft nudge on his nose and the cozy sensation that followed. His heart skipped a beat when he saw your sweet, inquisitive face in response. As a result, His inner child's glee would increase every time you did this, as evidenced by his growing smile... Congrats, The Crisis Cutie now requires you to give him a fair share of nose boops each week, especially when you two have a friendly squabble. At least you got a good chance to win the argument since he’s so weak for them. Fair warning though, He might go into a sulky pout if you deny him the boops he yearned for.

Angeal: As you gently pressed your finger to his nose, he felt a wave of nostalgia wash over him. He remembered his mother doing this to him once when he was a child, and the memory brings a sense of comfort to him. You will get a nose boop in return for the first time, without a doubt. He won’t want them all the time though, so it would have be done sparsely. You can count on it as a great pick-me-up when he needs a bit of comfort, or just needs a soft reminder that everything will be okay. It might become a thing you both do with Zack.

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sillyunknownkitkat · 5 months

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Undertale, Underswap, and underfell brothers react to a reader (platonic or not) that is hyper sexual

Minor dni pls, vague nsfw under the cut and sentive topics

No dni banner because there's nothing really explicit but it's implied

Undertale :

Sans

He noticed slight changes in your attitude before your crisis started. You were getting more and more bold, which is quite unusual for you.

Sans was worried for the few day you disappeared but understood that you may not want him to know about your problems. It didn't make him any less curious though.

It was a week after your first "symptoms" that he really got worried. So he went to your hiding place to confront you about it.

"Knock knock" Sans said, standing right in front of the bedroom's door.

"Sans?" You asked surprised and a bit panicked.

"S'not how the joke goes, kid. Knock knock." His tone wasn't particularly harsh, but he made it clear that he wasn't leaving. He used a tone that you had learned to interpret since knowing him.

"Who's there?" You said recluantly, you didn't want anyone to know about your bad habits

"Will." You thought for a bit, trying to guess the end of the joke but couldn't figure it out with your head still full of what's currently going on

"Will who?" Sans smiles a bit. Even in bad times, he still likes his jokes. It helps him relax a little.

"Will you open the door so we can talk face to face?"

So after putting on a sweatshirt and pyjama's pants, you get up and open the door.

"Hey.." You look down at his slippers.

"Hey, how 'bout we sit down and talk a bit, mh? M'not upset with you, just worried."

After you both settle down on the bed, you bring your knees to your chest and wait for him to start talking.

"Soooo, what's up, kiddo?"

Yeah... This is awkward for the both of you

So after you explained the things you were doing and how you felt while he patiently listened, he just asked you one thing.

"Is it because of a traumatic event you've been through?"

Now I let you decide what happened or not because everyone is different, but let's just say that if a person did something to make you feel that way, they're going to have a not so friendly chat with Sans.

Papyrus

Now, this cutie definitely didn't wait to ask you what was going on. I imagine him being autistic

So, while our pretty boy is definitely not stupid, I like to think he still struggles a bit with social clues. This means that he did ask you as soon as he noticed, but it might have taken quite a while.

Now, we all now Sans almost canonically struggles with depression so Paps can definitely help you a bit.

So, since no one can resist that cool face, you explained what was going on and let me tell you... That man was upset! Not at you but at the fact that you felt that way and he couldn't do anything about it. Not that it was his fault, but yk (*￣∇￣)ノ

Now he spent days telling you how amazing you were, how he loved you (platonically or not *wink wink*), and trying to get you attention on something else than your problem so you'd feel better.

Because you do. Not "maybe", you do 😭🔫😾

The cat is me, obviously 🙄

Underswap :

Blue (sans)

Might get hate on this one, but I think he struggles with hypersexuality too. I don't remember who's Au's it is, but there is one where he's popular on Instagram and where he's close friend with Viper (sf sans from that au which I use). So he knew what was going on before you told him.

Bb explained that he was like that, too, so you guys took care of each other :3

Like getting in comfy clothes, cooking a bit, cuddling, watching a movie, ... whatever you want!

And like spa treatments to echother too!

I'll probably write a part two for him in the future because, like this scenario + him, it's just ✨️perfect✨️

Stretch (us papyrus)

Even tho he's younger than blue, he still took care of his brother and therefore knew what was going on too. So when he sees you, he just picks you up with his magic, drags you to the couch, and pretty much instantly falls asleep on you. Well, he's not really sleeping, but you don't know that.

After a while, you start to cry silently because you feel kind of disgusting. Stretch cling to you a tiny bit harder and starts to purr "in his sleep" to try and console you.

Yes, skeletons purr, don't ask me why or how.

Anyway, after a while of being soothed, you fall asleep, and Stretch is smiling like an idiot because he managed to help you even the tiniest bit.

After both of you wake up, he goes to ask Blue what he can do to help you and apply with the wtv he tells him.

Blue might even join to talk to you a bit :)

Underfell :

Red (uf sans)

He knew what was going on but didn't want to bother you with it. The man already knows how hard it is when you're going through tough times.

So he kinda let you be but sometimes he comes buy and offer you to do some things.

It's not in a really nice way but not rude either, just a bit rough, I guess

He was like, "How 'bout you do something instead of just lying there, huh?"

He is not an asshole. He just grew up in a difficult world and therefore kinda has a stick stuck up in his non-existent ass.

If you don't move, he'll literally drag you out of bed and sit you on the couch with a movie already picked paused on the TV.

If you talk about it, he'll listen and suggest things that might help you, but if you don't, he'll do whatever he can while being "subtle."

Edge (uf papyrus)

He catched you crying when he opened the door of your bedroom to ask you to come downstairs since dinner was ready. Now Edge is by no means a cruel person, but he had to do things to survive in the underground. I like to think that when they all got out, he and Red cut links with most of the other monsters.

So now he got quite a lot softer, but it's still Edge, so don't expect too much.

He sat down next to you and brung a hand to your back (a bit awkwardly, but the man is learning people)

"I'M HERE IF YOU NEED TO TALK." he told you in the softest voice he could manage to get out (it wasn't soft, but since you know him and how he talked you understood that he was trying)

Same as his brother, if you talk, he'll listen, but he might be a bit more insistant with his advice. Again, not in a rude way, just in his way of saying thing.

If you don't, he'll probably get a little offended that you don't trust him even after he tried his best to be soft but still understands why you may not want to talk about your problems.

Not verified afterwards, sorry ;^;

So this is it :) it's a bit shitty ngl but I tried my best.

Kinda self indulge, honestly, but I'm better now so dw

If you have a similar problem or even another one, my dm's are opened, don't stay alone in your misery.

I might not answer right away (I live in Western Europe), but I will as soon as I can

Have a good day/night, and be safe, everyone. <3

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bunnygirl678 · 8 months

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Back at it again with another Reguri AU that I don't have time to write. So steal it please! Seriously feel free to write, draw, or use it to distract your mind enough to fall asleep (is that a thing other people do or am I just freaking weird)

-Red and Green are on their honeymoon in alola (duh) and they are doing a fun little couples battle with some of the alolan pokemon they've caught

-one of the tapu's sees them and wants to fuck with them cause they're unhinged (my 5 year old has rewatched the sun/moon anime like 15 times and i still can't remember which one does what)

-sends green back into time (note this is gonna be like dragon ball z time travel where it just created a new timeline or whatever)

-he gets transported midbattle with little red, but like not the championship and most of his pokemon haven't evolved yet

-Big!green is just like awwww you guys were so cute, little!red immediately realizes that somehow Green aged like 12 years in a flash and is obv confused, green explains that he was on vacay with his Red and got sent here somehow, let's go to the lab and see if gramps can help

-they travel to the lab or whatever, and the prof is immediately like "My dead son!" cause my hc is that green looks identical to his dad, and big!green is like nah sorry gramps it's just me from the future

-and they all talk and little!red is like, you aren't an asshole, anymore? and big!green like apologizes for little!green, and is like it may not seem like it but i know he cares about you, because big!green knows that during their journey he realized he had feelings for red, but like didn't want them so he just started being an asshole

-at some point daisy sees the ring and is like "oh you got married?! Whos the lucky lady anyone we know yet?" and big!green kinda like does an awkward quick glance at little!red, and is trying to figure out how to not out his past self because this isn't his secret to tell

-the prof is like 'oh holy shit you and red figured things out' cause he observes and figured it out when green was like 7 or something, and little!red is like wtf and big!green is like yeah but not for a while and then he gives little!red some training just cause what else are they going to do, plus little!red is having a crisis, cause he thinks his version of green hates him

-then it like flips to big!red's perspective and little!green shows up freaking out shouting for his red cause they were just together, and he see's big!red who is swole af and doesn't look that much like his red so he thinks his red has been kidnapped or something, and little!green goes absolutely feral, cause remember he has feelings for his red

-he's like i'll kill you, did you hurt him, where's red, and big!red is like this is the most adorable thing I've ever seen, and like big!green at one point had told him that he had feelings for Red when they were small but Red didn't really believe it until that moment, and also he's like hmmm green and i should adopt cause he's like high on honeymoon and little!green is such a cutie

-Big!Red is like i'm red, it's fine, little!green doesn't believe it until big!red brings up something that like only he would remember like they caught a caterpie together or something idk

-big!red goes and buys little!green some food and they kinda talk and little!green can't stop staring cause wow big!red looks so different, then he sees the wedding ring and is like devastated, and is trying not to cry or whatever and big!red is like able to read him like a book cause it's green even though it's little!green it's still green, and he like pulls out his phone and it's a photo from their wedding and little!green like short circuts cause he didn't even realize that was an option

-somehow they get to switch back and the other timeline red/green work out their issues quickly both with knowledge of the future and they start dating at like 14, cause 11 year olds don't date, and red never goes up the mountain except for the occasional week of training and green always goes with him and it's never angsty like the other timeline

-the alolan honeymooners are just glad to be together again and they finish their time in alola and red's like let's adopt and green's like whatever makes you happy

#namelessshipping #originalshipping #reguri #red x green #i really like the idea of this i just don't have the time and too many open fics i'm working on #maybe it'll get added but whatevs #sorry if it isn't concise #it feels a little all over the place

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absolutebl · 1 year

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This Week in BL - 2023 Begins!

Jan 20232 Wk 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) 4 of 12 - I keep saying this, but I can’t get over how delighted I am to have Perth back on my screen, and under the GMMTV umbrella. He is a stellar actor. I like that the first kiss of this show wasn’t btw the leads. Felt more realistic to high school. Big drama next week!

My School President (Fri YT) 5 of 10 - I missed these two so much last week. But also there was A MUSICAL INCIDENT and it caused a bit of a rant from yours truly.

Between Us (Sun iQIYI) 9 of 12 - no ep this week, resumes tomorrow WATCH ALONG HERE.

609 Bedtime Story (Fri WeTV) 7 of 11 - Game remains my spirit animal (pushy fucker), and the plot of the main couple is interesting even if I don’t like the cheating component.

Cutie Pie 2 You (special) 1 of 4 - Oh it’s a full on special. Very very pretty and, is possible, more sappy and full of manufactured angst. Nuea protecting Hia’s interests was sweet. Lots of making out. So... more of the same, basically. What year are we in now, anyway?

I Will Knock You (Fri Gaga) 8 of 12 - (note from my Thai language spy rgr ep 5: the writing on the stone tablets was their names + 2 family members) And now we are suddenly firmly in BL territory and baby Dom is just a baby Seme. No bisexual identity crisis needed... just diving into cheese fest.

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 13 of 14 - I would have kept JaFirst apart for longer, quite frankly. I mean otherwise why bother split them up in the first place? Please just end this show already.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The New Employee (Korea Weds Viki) 3 of 8 - I love them so much, and they are so cute, and this is not open to discussion. Viva la age gap!

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner (Korea Weds iQIYI) 7-8 of 10 - There is a lot implied about the leads history together, but it was still nice to get backstory plus GAT KISSES. I love it when they flip the dynamic and give the uke agency. I’m really enjoying this show now, I’m even invested in the love triangle.

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) 2 of 10 - Side couple ascension: Daddy Long Legs trope, it’s been a while since I have seen this in ANY romance drama. I’m not really into the main couple, at least not yet (and I totally missed that they hadn’t met each other in person yet), but I really love the side dishes. It’s like H4 all over again only with less dub con.

Candy Color Paradox AKA Ameiro Paradox (Japan Fri Gaga) 4 of 8 - nothing this week.

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

Love Bill (Vietnam Sat YT) - Bah Vinh is back but I’m too distracted. Also there’s a lot of fund raising stuff going on with them. I can wait.

The Star Always Follow You (Vietnam YT) - same Team RL peeps we have seen before (Sunshine, Stupid)

Moonlight Chicken GMMTV’s Midnight series (Weds YT) 1 of 8 eventually - first segment has begun bit it’s not the EarthMix messy gays. Sorry all, I’m so not interested in messy hets, so I’m waiting until they grace my screen.

Questions!!!

Should I watch The Warp Effect? Tublr seems excited about it and BL bits look good? Will they end happy? Thoughts anyone?

Till the World Ends (Thai YT) finished at 10 eps, the heat looked good but I don’t know about the ending with that kind of title, so did anyone risk it and want to tell me what they thought? I haven’t seen much chatter on my feed so I am not optimistic.

In Case You Missed It

2022′s The Usual Night (Twitter account) from Japan is a 10-ep fake documentary series starring the members of Jpop group the Fantastics. It flew under everyone’s radars but apparently has a BL subplot featuring Yagi Yusei (My Beautiful Man) and Seguchi Leiya. This officially means they beat OnlyOneOf to the punch as the first inter-group BL pairing. Keito Kimura (Onoe from Candy Color Paradox) is also a member of Fantastics and in the show. Source reddit. No word on official international release. Japan is like that.

OnlyOneOf’s Nine dropped the last (?) in their BL Kpop series, 'beyOnd' (be #6)

I posted all my 2022 wraps, top picks, industry stats, etc..

Next Week Looks Like This:

Jan 19: Individual Circumstances 8 eps - A reunion romance between a movie director who was once promising and a writer who disappeared due to past wounds. Stars JunQ (main rapper of 2nd gen group MYNAME) and Han Jung Wan (Mr International Korea winner).

2023 forthcoming BL master post is in the works... wait for it... I had to finish all the 2022 wrap ups first. Also waiting for the last of the studio announcements.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Never Let Me Go

Ah the love triangle.

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner caught himself a live one.

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? You gotta check out VIXX (sub unit) new single. Gonna Be Alright = 2 BL stars in one croon. (Hyuk Color Rush 2 & Leo Happy ending Romance). *props chin on hand and bats eyes winsomely at Ken* So?

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cocteaucherry · 2 months

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mr twenty something

summary- yuji not liking the fact his teen years are over.

tags; aged up! yuji, existential youth crisis, fluff, not really angst, reader has no defined pronouns but wears light pink, yuji being a cutie. Not proofread, light cursing, relationship with reader is platonic in my eyes but you can view them however you want ☺︎

a/n- (can you guess I was listening to ribs and 20 something while writing? update on t&t expect a prt 2 this fri or saturday ☺︎

“Happy birthday Yuuji!”

Shimmery confetti fell into his pink hair making him smile, a chocolate cake with the big numbers two zero.

When he blew out those candles something tugged at his heart, his last moments as a teen (kid) were over just like that.

A smile was placed on throughout the night giving the same passive answer.

How does it feel to be an adult?

What are you gonna do now?

Ready to be in the new adult world now?

All met with the same smile and the same answer “I'll figure it out!”

Yuji never thought about how different he'd feel getting older. He thought he'd enjoy every second. Why was he already planning his funeral?

When the party came to an end Yuji was left sitting on his balcony watching the cars and people walk and drive in the night.

“Hey Yuuji, mind if I join you?”

His head snapped back quickly to be met by your face, he grinned with a smile. “yah! Of course!”

Everyone had agreed to wear some shade of pink to the party, Megumi resulting in wearing a hot pink shirt that was eye melting. You and Nobara dressed accordingly wearing light pinks that were less of an eyesore.

“How you feeling?” you asked, sliding onto the chair in the balcony, yuuji groaned quietly.

“Like I should be paying taxes and doing elderly shit.”

You raised a brow, “Yuji, you should've been doing taxes like two years ago.”

“But it's different now! Everyone thinks I should be doing something “productive” . He made a barf noise and you couldn't help but laugh.

“Yuji, are you having a pre-midlife crisis?” you covered your mouth giggling.

Yuji pouted, crossing his arms, “Hey! I'm having a rough time,” he sighed, rubbing the side of his arm, “I didn't think getting this old would be so scary..” he mumbled.

“Are you turning twenty or fourth?” you hummed standing up to walk over towards him, you both stared out into the night sky in silence before it was broken by you.

“Look Yuji.. You don't need to adhere to any “standard” out there for being twenty, you're still the same person you were yesterday.”

Yuji fiddled with his hands letting out a shaky sigh, “But.. It's just so, I'm not sure- insane to think I was just fifteen.. Now I'm not a teenager anymore.”

“You'll get through,” you nodded, placing a hand on his back to softly caress it, “Think about all the wonderful journeys you'll have..” you smiled leaning your head against his shoulder.

Yuji couldn't help but feel warm about your sentiment, “I guess so.” he hummed, leaning into your warm touch some more.

Maybe his twenty somethings won't be so bad.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu x reader #x reader #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #yuji itadori #yuji x reader #yuji fluff #jjk yuuji #jjk yuji

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fbfh · 1 year

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rocks at your window pt. 9 - ricky bowen x reader

disclaimer: this series contains smut and chapter by chapter warnings, so as with all nsfw works, ricky is aged up to 18+!! ricky and reader are 18 and in their senior year

additionally, we're working towards a ricky x therapy plot so he's going to start expressing some symptoms of mental illness and bpd but he does get therapy eventually and has a good support system but he gets worse before he gets better yk. Obviously I'm not a professional and this is for entertainment so while I have done my research pls take this with a grain of salt!! or several!! /lh

!! contains some spoilers for season 1 of hsmtmts, and previous chapters of this fic !!

wc: 9.6k

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, not really fluff but a lot of high highs and a lot of low lows

pairing: ricky bowen x (afab she/her) reader

warnings: miss jenn is a legend icon queen slay goddess (cited two times), iconic interactions between the cast, jealous ricky being a cutie, ricky and EJ are not bros yet, nini has gone from messy to borderline evil, your mom is a legend, kourtney anxiety foreshadowing, opening night/theatre vibes so strong it made me tear up a little /hj, lynne bowen is a horrible horrible toxic person!!!, todd jumpscare, ricky has a mental breakdown, EJ is trying his best but horribly misreads the situation, ricky is in a crisis, ricky bpd episode, art to cope :'), ricky has a good support system, reader is good in a crisis, nini is REALLY testing your patience, gina gets a well deserved moment to shine, terrible theatre etiquette, ricky gets emotionally ambushed, mike is a good dad, nini gets yelled at by reader (slay), reader yells at lynne (slay), reader gets slapped (in a dramatic way not a violent or sexy way), reader gets called a slut as an insult, ricky defends you, messy necessary screaming match (slay), things are said that cannot be unsaid :/

summary: opening night is just as magical and incredible as ricky hoped it would be, just as wonderful as you made it sound - until the worst case scenario comes to fruition. but the show must go on, right?

song recs: something about this night - finding neverland obc, twenty million people - my favorite year obc, opening up - waitress obc, twinkle in her eye - leann rimes, window seat - amelie obc, this is how I disappear (instrumental) - my chemical romance, un organo suona - ennio morricone, the music and the mirror - a chorus line obc, holding onto you - twenty one pilots, you oughta know - jagged little pill obc

other media: "art is not a luxury, it's sustinance" - ethan hawke ted talk clip, "and the way he sings sends a chill right through me" - lullaby for the taken lyric by kimya dawson, "what a mother does for you out of obligation vs what a mother does for you because she wants to" - text post/poem by tumblr user vympr,

a/n: fangz to cici for reading!!! I felt like my immortal chapter 6 "paragraph" 4 while writing the last part trying not to under or overuse dialog tags lmao. remember when I said it's gonna get messy? it gets worse :)

tags @yesv01 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @afidiofobia @aliyahsutherland @pikzel @demirunner @brinaslittlefreak @girlfriendwhoseawitch @matiere-detoiles @ifilwtmfc @uselesssapphickitten @nxstalgicnxbxdy @ggclarissa @n-slayaaaaa @stormi-ames @rainforest-daisies @sunshineangel-reads

You and Ricky had been planning to get to the El Rey early on opening night since tech week, to make sure you have plenty of extra time to get ready, warm up, and get in character. Plus, you’ve been telling him how much you’ve missed just being in theaters, and near stages. The more time you’re there, the better. When you’re on the way over Ricky couldn’t shake the excitement gripping him. You can’t seem shake the feeling something was going to go wrong.

It was different from nerves, different from anxiety or worries that everyone can get before a big event. It was the same small, nudging feeling you got the night the basement flooded during your run in Matilda. It’s not as bad as it had been that time, but you take in a breath, steadying yourself and knowing you should be ready for anything. When you do, the feeling is quickly overshadowed by your excitement. You haven’t acted in far too long, and you’re ecstatic that you’ll get to perform again soon.

Once you get to the theater, you and Ricky are the first to sign the sign in sheet. You draw a little smiley face next to his name, and when he glances back at you, eyes falling on the paper. He smiles, struck by sudden joy at the little face. He leans back over and grabs a pen, drawing a smiley next to your name on the line below. Miss Jenn glances down when he returns the pen.

“Oh!” she exclaims, seeing the little faces, “How cute. I love this energy we’re creating.” she gestures vaguely before shooing you off to your respective dressing rooms to get ready.

Soon everyone’s there, and you’re once again wrapped up in the familiar hustle and bustle of show nights. You and your castmates are simultaneously getting in costume, warming up, and trying to get ready while helping each other’s hair and makeup. Ashlyn and Nini join you in an impromptu karaoke session, singing your hearts out to Bop to the Top while Nina riffs and harmonizes. The boys, one or two rooms away, start singing Getcha Head in the Game at the same time. In spite of the chaotic cacophony of voices, it's both a good way to warm up, and a good outlet for the nervous energy growing, bouncing from one person to the next, turning electric.

Kourney enters suddenly, grabbing some bobby pins.

"Do you know if you have any safety pins?" She asks.

"Uh," you pause doing your hair, tying it up into a bouncy low half updo, and fumble through your bag, "how many do you need?"

"Two or three?" She says hopefully. No matter how many you buy, bobby pins and safety pins always seem to be in short supply at every theater you've been to. You dig around for a minute before finding them, handing them to Kourtney.

"Thank you!" She declares, "Seb's shirt just completely-"

"Has anyone seen my glasses?" Ashlyn asks, and Kourtney pauses, noticing she's not wearing them.

"Shit," Kourtney mutters, both of you looking around for them.

"Knock knock!" Comes Seb’s voice from behind the door.

"Decent!" You and Ashlyn reply in unison. Seb enters, holding the side of his shirt together with his hands.

"Any luck?" He asks Kourtney.

"Right here," she replies, holding up the safety pins. "Turn around." Nina puts in her headphones and starts doing some vocal exercises and scales to warm up a little more. Seb lifts up his jacket so Kourtney can pin the ripped seam back together.

"Oh," she remembers, "have you seen Ashlyn’s glasses?"

"The really big ones?" He asks.

"Yeah."

"Nope." He shrugs. She turns to Ashlyn.

"We'll find them." Kourtney reassures her. Seb heads back to his dressing room he shares with Ricky and EJ, and you move on to the last few steps of your makeup routine.

"Where are they?" Ashlyn huffs rhetorically. Natalie pokes her head in a moment later.

"40 minutes till show time!"

"Thank you 40!" The three of you reply together. A little while later, you’re finally dressed and waiting for the glue on your eyelashes to get tacky, when you hear EJ call your name. You stumble out of your dressing room, zipping up your boot, and you’re greeted with EJ in his Chad costume, clearly in a huff.

“Can you help me with my eyeliner?” he asks, a slightly petulant tone to his voice, handing you a black pencil. You laugh.

“Yeah, hold on.” you go back into your dressing room, passing by Seb telling Kourtney something. You dig through your makeup bag as Seb reenters, Darbus glasses in hand, presenting them to Ashlyn.

"Where were they?" She exclaims.

"The prop table!" He says.

"Why?" Ash asks, stating your thoughts exactly.

"Natalie says they're technically a prop because in the detention scene when you…" you find what you're looking for, missing the tail end of his sentence as you leave a moment later with a stiff angled brush in hand. You grab EJ and lead him to the stairs where he can sit down. He does so, and you rub the bristles against the eyeliner, demonstrating for him.

“This will make the application a lot more precise. Close your eyes…” you instruct, tilting his head back. You smudge the outside of his lash lines, careful not to make it look like too much.

“Okay, now this is the scary part…” you trail off, gently lifting up his eyelid. “I swear I’m not going to stab you, just look down and don’t blink.” you instruct at the worried look on his face. You tight line the middle of his lash line for a defined, natural effect, then repeat the step on the other side.

“Okay,” you say, pulling away to check that it looks even, unaware of Ricky standing a few feet away, watching you hold EJ’s face. You look so focused, and a twinge of jealousy flashes through his stomach, wishing you were holding his face, looking focused at him like that.

“You should be good,” you say, and Ricky approaches, dragging you away as EJ thanks you.

“I just need to borrow her for a second.” he cuts EJ off, smiling tensely at him - one he returns. Ricky takes you a few feet away while EJ goes back into their dressing room.

“What’s up?” you ask. He lets out a breathy laugh.

“I just… I can’t figure out this whole bronzer thing.” You bite back a smile. You know that it’s bullshit, specifically because you went through his whole stage makeup routine with him twice last night. He could do his makeup and anyone else’s with one hand tied behind his back, so he obviously just wants your attention. You can’t deny that it’s really cute - and it’s working. He’s probably nervous, you figure. You chuckle, taking the brush from him.

“Make a fish face,” you instruct, sucking in your cheeks and puckering your lips. His face mirrors yours, and you blend the product into his foundation. Your hand rests on his jaw, angling it this way and that until you’re satisfied with your work. He glances briefly back at the stairs, where EJ has long since left. Ricky’s about to look for any other excuse to keep you here for a few more minutes, your eyes light up, remembering something.

“Oh!” you exclaim, turning around, “Stay right here.” You’re back a moment later after digging through your bag past bobby pins, safety pins, your water bottle, script, sewing kit, extra makeup, makeup wipes, bandaids, and throat lozenges. You grab a small box, holding it triumphantly before running back out to Ricky in the hall. You stand in front of him, that glimmer in your eye.

“I have a surprise.” Excitement swirls in his chest.

“What is it?” he asks, trying to suppress the anticipatory giggle bubbling up, his energy matching yours. You hand him the small box, and he looks at it, confused. He opens it slowly, pulling out a little charm. It’s a dog tag with the number 14, and a metallic T on a jump ring.

“Oh my god…” he breathes, looking at it closer. You’re beaming, so glad that he likes it.

“You know,” you say softly, “something to remember your first show by. And your heart ring was looking kind of lonely.” You smile, pointing to the plastic ring he still wears around his neck, waiting until the last possible minute to take it off. You barely get the words out before he grabs your arms, pulling you close and kissing you. His lips are warm as they move against yours, and for a split second, you forget where you are, completely losing context for everything around you.

“I love-” he murmurs against your mouth, freezing for an instant. Your hearts skip a beat in tandem, then he cuts himself off to kiss you again. “I love it.” he finishes. You smile against his lips, pulling away very reluctantly. He leans back in, pressing a few more kisses to your lips before you wiggle out of his grasp.

“Ricky!” you laugh, “We’re gonna mess up our makeup. We can kiss after the show.” He runs his fingers up and down your arms, gazing at you as you talk. You have all his attention.

“Okay,” he says in that light hearted, joking tone of his that always makes you laugh, “but I’m gonna hold you to that.” You laugh again, and he takes off his necklace so you can slip on the new charm. After getting it fixed on the chain, you reattach it to his neck.

At the end of the hall where you’re standing, Nina lingers, watching Ricky touch you and kiss you like that. It makes her sick, and she finds herself holding back a gag. Her hours of research had turned into days, and she has your playbill.com page open on her phone at this very moment. She’s torn, reminiscing over how much she loved your performances and how obsessed with you she was as a kid, and simultaneously fuming over it. You’ve done all this professional work, you’ve acted on Broadway, and now you’re here at East High?

She scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief. She wanted so badly to be you, to have your perfect life, and you threw it all away for what? To come do crappy high school theatre in a town that couldn’t be further from New York? She fights a laugh suddenly, realizing just how much dirt she has on you. There must be a reason you’ve been keeping this secret, lying to everyone, lying to Ricky. She shakes her head. She doesn’t know why yet, but she’s going to find out.

35 minutes before curtain, Miss Jenn gathers everyone for circle time, and a cast meeting to boost morale before the show. Everyone is finally in costume and Kourtney follows Seb, makeup pallet in hand, adjusting the finishing touches to the glitter on his cheeks. You can feel the energy stirring and growing, electric between all of you.

“Most of you know that our dazzling Taylor had to leave under family circumstances. Gina sends her love and support, but has left for the east coast and will not be able to make it to tonight’s performance.” Miss Jenn says. You and Ricky share a look, trying not to be too obvious. You got Gina a plane ticket together, and your mom is at the airport right now to pick her up. The last you heard from her, Gina’s flight was delayed. Now there’s only a slim chance she’ll get here in time. You silently keep your fingers crossed, praying to whatever theatre gods are out there that she’ll make it to the theater before it's too late.

“And so,” Miss Jenn continues, “I have asked… Kourtney to fill in, in her place!”

The room erupts into cheers. Kourtney smiles, eyes on the floor bashfully. She’s praying she doesn’t seem as nervous as she feels. It’s not that she didn’t expect you guys to be supportive of her subbing in as Taylor, but seeing first hand how excited everyone is for her eases some of the worries that have been building up.

“Now,” Miss Jenn continues, “everyone join hands.” After some heartfelt words of encouragement and other usual circle time warm ups, she claps her hands.

“Let’s go, wildcats! 20 minutes to curtain!”

Once again, the room erupts into cheers.

“Now, if I can get my main characters and my ensemble members starting the show with a mic on stage for mic check?” she directs, pointing towards the way to the wings. You walk with everyone else towards the stage, pausing when you pass Miss Jenn.

“Do you want me to help Kourtney get ready?” you ask. Her hair and makeup are done, she just has to get in costume, but you can sense that she needs a pep talk.

“That would be fantastic,” she says with a look that indicates she thinks Kourtney could use a pep talk too, “thank you, Sharpay.” She pulls out her walkie to let Big Red know you and Kourtney are going to be released from mic check early to finish getting ready. After singing We’re All In This Together while Big Red adjusts your volume from the sound booth, Kourtney sings Bop to the Top, voice getting louder and quieter as Red tweaks the settings. Once you’ve both gotten the thumbs up, you scurry backstage to your dressing room, handing her costume pieces while she gets changed.

“Oh, wait,” you say before she pulls on her top. You grab your setting spray you use for shows from your bag. “Close your eyes.” You mist her face with the product, fanning it dry so it doesn’t smudge.

“Thanks,” she says. You take one look at her expression, and can tell she’s nervous.

“You okay?” You ask. She hesitates, then sighs.

“I had two weeks to learn all my lines. I had two weeks to learn all the lines and the songs, I haven’t even gotten to rehearse on stage with you guys, and I’m just so worried I’m going to blow it, or choke in front of everyone…” she trails off. This is clearly the tip of the iceberg, and she fiddles with her bracelets, trying to get out some nervous energy.

“There is no way you’re going to choke.” you say confidently, “You know this show inside and out! Plus, haven’t you been running lines with Nini the whole time?” you ask.

“Yeah,” she replies, listening carefully, trying to grab onto your reassurance.

“Almost all of Taylor’s scenes are with Gabriella.” You state. Her expression changes as she realizes you’re right. She knows this part better than she was giving herself credit for.

“Plus there will be scripts in the wings if you need to refresh between scenes.”

“Yeah,” she says again, more confident this time. “I know my lines, I know the songs, I know the dances - mostly, at least - so it’s all going to be fine! Even if the choreography in Stick to the Status Quo is still totally terrifying, and I have no idea how to dance with a lunch tray or do a death wack, it’s going to be fine!” Her laughter turned from relieved to slightly panicked again.

“You think you’re nervous for Stick to the Status Quo?” you ask rhetorically, a comedic note to your voice, “I have to get caked in the face!” You exclaim with a chuckle. You’ve only practiced with an actual cake once, during the last tech rehearsal, and it was messy, to say the least. Literally and figuratively.

Kourtney laughs, remembering the whipped cream that got everywhere, how loud you were yelling in character before storming off. It took more makeup wipes than you'd expected to get the sticky sugar off your face.

“We’ll get through it together.” You state, holding out your hand. She squeezes it, reassuringly.

“Yeah. We will.”

“Five minutes to places!” Natalie calls, poking her head in.

“Thank you five!” you both reply. You check your phone one last time, the new text from your mom stating that she’s still at the airport, waiting for Gina’s flight. You text Ricky the same thing, letting him know you’re all still waiting for more updates on the delay. The good news is that your mom’s friend from work - who was planning on coming to see the show anyway - is going to stream the show to your mom until she can get there, that way she won’t miss anything.

It doesn’t feel like five minutes has gone by when Natalie is calling for places, ushering everybody into the wings and into their starting places and positions. Hushed whispers of encouragement and break a leg spread through the wings, and everyone falls silent as Miss Jenn begins her curtain speech. It’s unusual for a group of such high energy people to be so still, so quiet, and you soak up every moment of it. This is your favorite part - or one of them, at least; it's those few fleeting minutes when everyone’s backstage in the wings, the opening of the show is seconds away and hurdling closer and closer with every breath, every heartbeat. This is one of those magical, transformative, fleeting times that can only really be described as in between.

You never knew just how much you would miss this, the distinct and irreplaceable energy, the feeling of being in a theater. Tears spring to your eyes as it really hits you that you’re home, back where you’ve always needed to be. You close your eyes, taking deep, measured breaths to focus, to get into that headspace of being in character. Even with your eyes closed, you can feel it around you; the rich wood and cement mixing into different sections of the floor, the heavy curtains, the grid and catwalk and lights, all intangibly high and far away. It’s beautiful. It’s so beautiful that you don’t know how your body is supposed to contain it. You know now that you could never leave, not really. Theatre will always be your home, and you know this feeling will only solidify more and more with time. You realize, too, that it’s a home that will always grow and change and evolve with you, because that’s in its eternal, fleeting nature. That’s the most beautiful part, you think.

You squeeze Seb’s hand in excitement and encouragement and every other good thing, a gesture that he returns. In spite of the silence and the stillness, you know that everyone is just as excited as you are. Ricky’s in the opposite wing, or else you’d be squeezing his hand right now too right now. You use this moment, this stillness that's growing and getting more charged with energy every second, to become laser focused on giving this performance everything you've got - on really getting your head in the game.

Nini looks around, then over at Ricky - again. He’s been avoiding her this whole night, and she can’t stand it. She leans closer.

“I need to talk to you. After the show.” someone shushes her, and she lowers her voice, continuing. “She’s been lying to you about everything. You don’t know everything about her, Ricky.”

“Yes, I-” he cuts himself off, not wanting to feed into this. Not now. “I have to get into character.” He says, moving away from her. He tries to focus on the energy the cast is creating around him, on becoming Troy. He takes a breath, centering himself.

“Without further ado, I am proud to present… East High’s High School Musical: the Musical!” Miss Jenn’s voice is drowned out by applause, and the music begins.

The first few songs and scenes go smoothly; everyone is on time and remembering their cues, and the audience couldn’t be more engaged, applauding and laughing right when you want them to. During Jack Scott’s announcements after Darbus reveals what the winter musical is going to be, you leave to get ready for What I’ve Been Looking For. You pass by Ricky, who’s quick changing for Get’cha Head in the Game, and shoot him a big thumbs up.

“Great job!” you whisper enthusiastically, stomping your feet quietly in excitement.

“Thanks,” he smiles, beaming as he pulls on his jersey. He watches you scurry down the hall before getting nudged toward the stage right before his cue. He shakes his head, wondering why he let Nini get him so worked up before. Of course he knows you. He knows everything about you! There’s absolutely nothing on earth you could tell him that would throw him off, or scare him away from you. She’s probably just making something up to get in his head, to drive a wedge between you. That seems like something she would do lately.

“Let’s see some hustle! Move, move, move!” Coach Bolton calls from onstage, and Ricky jogs over to him, as ready as he'll ever be.

“Sorry I’m late, coach.”

As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, as much as he’s trying to stay in character and stay focused on the scene, Nini’s words are still echoing in the back of his mind, throwing him off a little. He catches his dad’s eye in the crowd as the music starts. He doesn’t think he’s ever looked this proud, and it steadies Ricky. He takes in a breath, and begins to sing. Part way through the song, he notices a woman in the crowd who looks weirdly like his mom. He doesn’t miss a beat, making sure to look in his dad’s direction instead. That’s weird, he thinks, but it can’t be her. There’s no way she’d come all the way from Chicago for something like this. Just like what Nini said to him before the show, he won’t let that distract him from performing, and tries not to let that throw him off.

During the dance break, he gets hooked up to his harness, and his stomach erupts into excited butterflies as he slowly moves up. There’s a collective gasp from the crowd that turns into cheers as he hovers in front of the hoop, ball in hand. Up here, he’s not blinded by the stage lights, and he looks down at the crowd, able to see his dad’s face even better than before. He’s filled with such euphoria, he knows you’re right - nothing can beat this feeling. He feels more alive, more awake than he ever has, simultaneously enveloped by a deep sense of peace, of rightness that he doesn’t want to let go of.

On the other side of the auditorium, someone moves, catching his eye. Some guy is making his way into his seat, presumably because he showed up late. He leans over to his date, kissing her and touching her leg. Nothing could have prepared Ricky for what he saw when he pulled away. Past the blinding stage lights, his stomach plummets back down to earth as he’s able to make out more faces in the audience - including hers. She’s here. She’s really here, and she brought that douchebag with her. She’s whispering something in that bastard’s ear, barely five rows away from his dad. They’re all over each other, talking close and kissing and smiling.

It’s only when she points up at him that he snaps out of it. He realizes the pit has been waitin for his cue a beat or two longer than usual, and follows up quickly with it. He had dropped his basketball when he was up there, and he’s scrambling to make it through the rest of the number. He tries desperately to get back into character, to focus on the lyrics and choreography, to focus on the music instead of what he just saw in front of him, but he can’t shake what just happened, what he just saw. Even as he’s being pulled backstage to change into the costume for his next scene, it takes all his effort not to let that overwhelm him. He can’t crumble right now, not like this. There’s a whole cast and crew, all his friends, that are counting on him. He gets some water, tries to pull himself together.

EJ looks for Ricky backstage, having a few minutes before their next scene. Even he has to admit he was impressed with Ricky’s performance back there. He looked so conflicted, so torn between basketball and singing. He even managed to make his distracted blocking and choreography look so organic EJ was worried he’d messed up for a second. He’s been giving him a hard time, butting heads on and off stage, but Ricky is really shining tonight. He’s committed, and EJ has to commend him for that.

“Ricky,” he says, just loudly enough to get his attention. Ricky turns around. “I have to hand it to you; you’re doing great out there, man. You deserve all the applause you’re getting.”

Ricky takes a breath, closing his water bottle.

“Thanks.”

He stares into space to the ceiling on EJ’s right, gripping his water bottle until his knuckles have a white cast to them. EJ’s brow furrows. He actually seems a little out of it.

“Are you okay?” he asks carefully. They’re not really close like that, but even EJ can see that he seems a little off.

“I’m fine,” he says a little too fast. “I am totally fine. Because it’s opening night, and nothing’s going to ruin this.”

Suddenly it makes sense. He knows exactly what Ricky’s going through. He sighs.

“Look, everybody gets stage fright. Just take a deep breath, and use the music and your lines to stay grounded.” He claps Ricky on the shoulder supportively.

“Thanks,” he chokes out again. EJ leaves to fix his mic tape, and Ricky is once again exactly where he doesn’t want to be - alone with his thoughts. Even though EJ has no idea of the scope of issues Ricky’s dealing with right now, his advice might still work. Instead of waiting in his dressing room, he hovers in the wings, going over the chemistry class scene as it happens, waiting for the lights to go down so he can talk to you, or at least be near you. He’s so tempted to barge onstage and drag you away with him. Instead he listens closely to your dialog with Gabriella. Just hearing your voice is enough for him to hold on to for now.

The lights go down, and you exit into the wings. You’re surprised to find Ricky there - he usually comes up about half way through Jack Scott’s narration. One look at his face and you know something’s wrong. Before you can ask, he’s pulling you into a less busy area by the prop table.

“She’s here.” He grips your arm, hand shaking. He doesn’t need to say anything else, you already have a full grasp on the gravity of the situation, the effect this is having on him.

“Here?” you ask, needing to clarify, and he nods. “Are you okay?” you ask sincerely.

“I’m…” he struggles for an answer, “trying to be.” You take his hands in yours so gently he doesn’t even notice until your thumbs are stroking his skin reassuringly.

“Okay,” you say calmly, and he can see the gears turning, see you figuring out the perfect solution as you speak. “Why don’t you have some water, stay right here, and I’ll go get Miss Jenn, okay?”

He nods, and you move quickly to Natalie, asking her if she knows where Miss Jenn is. She picks up her walkie talkie, asking Miss Jenn to come to the stage right wing. Jack’s narration scene wraps up and the crew changes the set to Darbus’s detention. You have seconds before you have to get out there, and you turn to Ricky, worried about him.

“Are you going to be okay?” you ask in a hushed whisper.

“Yeah.” he says, “I think so.”

You see Miss Jenn walking toward the stage right wing as you’re about to head onstage.

“We’ll talk to her right after.” you tell him in a hushed, reassuring whisper. You give his hand one more squeeze before you find your places in the dark. Moments later, the lights are up, and the scene begins. In all the time you’ve spent acting, you’ve gotten very good at staying in character, compartmentalizing thoughts and worries about your personal life while you’re onstage. You find it a little more difficult to keep the disgust at Lynne Bowen’s blatant lack of basic respect, or even awareness for the consequences of her actions, buried in the back of your mind as the scene plays out.

Sitting on the wooden flooring of the stage, warm under the bright lights, Ricky does exactly what he’s supposed to do - he uses the scene and dialog to stay grounded. He follows the dialog while doing his stage business, listening for his cues just like Miss Jenn thought him to do. If he stays in character, he doesn’t have to think about any offstage drama. As long as he doesn’t look out to that section of seats, as long as he can keep his eyes from being magnetically drawn there, he’s going to be fine. He stays in character, stays right there as Troy, clinging to his character like a life raft. If he can be Troy, he doesn’t have to worry about everything he’s going to have to deal with as Ricky for just a few more minutes. It's desperate and fleeting, but it's the only thing he can do right now.

Soon, the lights are down, and you’re hustling toward the stage right wing, where you know Miss Jenn is waiting. He finds your hand in the dark, the sparkly pink sequins on your outfit unmistakable even in the darkness. He holds onto you desperately, until you’re both standing in front of Miss Jenn. She knows from one look that whatever is going on, it’s bad.

“Um," Ricky starts, swallowing hard, "my mom is here…” he hates that his voice is already trembling so soon. It sounds more like a question than a statement, and his stomach twists at how foreign the word now feels in his mouth. My mom. The last time he called her that had been months ago when he told you and Miss Jenn what had happened. Ever since he’s only referred to her through pronouns and as briefly as possible, trying to disconnect the person she is from who she was supposed to be. Who he thought she was. The closest he’s gotten to addressing her has been vague statements; she didn’t call back, or I think that was her recipe, let’s find a different one. Actually saying it, actually calling her that makes his jaw feel stiff.

“My god.” Miss Jenn says softly, unable to believe that she could have the audacity to show up unannounced after what she put Ricky through. Ricky hesitates, and she knows there’s more. She nods, waiting for him to continue.

“And she, uh,” he swallows thickly, hating his throat for tightening up so much when he has to sing in a few minutes, “she brought her boyfriend…” Your eyes widen and Miss Jenn gasps.

“They’re in the sixth row, they keep talking and kissing, and-” he cuts himself off, unable to continue. His hands are balled up, tight and shaking.

“Okay. Ricky, sweetie, why don’t we talk about this somewhere a little more private.” You both guide him to the boys’ dressing room, and after making sure no one’s in there, she sits down facing him, and takes his hands in hers.

“From the beginning, what happened?”

He was barely able to get it out the first time, but now he can’t stop. Everything he’s been trying so hard to ignore and shove down for the last 20 minutes - and it’s felt way longer than 20 minutes - comes tumbling out. He doesn't think he could stop talking if he tried. He doesn’t even realize how loud he’s getting until Miss Jenn gently shushes him.

“We don’t want the audience to hear us.” he nods, taking a breath for the first time since he started talking. You left a minute ago to check on how much time you have before the next scene, and reenter the dressing room now, looking stressed.

“They’re almost done with Auditions.” you state. You need to go up there now, you and Seb have What I’ve Been Looking For soon, and you don’t want to miss your cue.

“Go,” she says. Ricky nods, so you do, knowing that Miss Jenn has this under control, that she can help Ricky right now. Your footsteps recede, and Ricky turns back to Miss Jenn.

“Ricky,” she starts calmly, “what she did was wildly inappropriate.” He already feels a little better, less crazy, and he waits for her to continue.

“Showing up unannounced with a…" she chooses her words carefully, "date, was… probably the worst thing that could have happened tonight.”

“Yeah,” he scoffs in agreement. She continues.

“You have every right to be as upset as you are. Whatever you need right now, just tell me, okay?” He nods. “I think what we should do is get your dad, and let him know what’s going on. I can try to have one of the ushers escort her out, but I’m sure the last thing you want tonight is even more drama.”

“Got that right,” he breathes, relieved.

“I’m going to talk to EJ and see if he can go on as Troy-”

“What? No.” he protests.

“Ricky-”

“No, Miss Jenn- I have to play Troy. Please, I have to!”

“It might be best for you-”

He stands up suddenly. “What’s best for me is going out there; acting and singing, like we rehearsed - like I’m supposed to! Please, you can’t…”

“Okay,” she says, standing up and trying to calm him down a little. “Okay. If you think you can do it, you can go back out there.”

He relaxes a little.

“Thank you.” his voice breaks as he speaks, and she realizes how badly he needs this right now.

“Why don’t we revisit this at intermission, see how you’re feeling then? Just to check up on you.” she adds quickly.

“Okay.” he agrees. She puts a hand on his arm.

“I’m going to let EJ know to get ready, just in case you change your mind. We’ve got to be ready for anything, right?” She smiles gently, one he tries to return.

“Right,” he says. A stagehand pokes his head into the room.

“Troy, we need you.”

“Be right there,” Miss Jenn says. She claps her hand over Ricky’s one more time. “Okay, Ricky, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go out there and sing a ballad with Gabriella that will make the audience swoon,” he smiles, “and I am going to do my best to get this situation resolved as quickly and discreetly as possible. If anything else happens, or you need anything, come tell me right away.”

“Okay.” he says, this time, with a note of determination in his voice. Miss Jenn pats him on the back, sending him off. He runs through the halls, making it just in time. Once he’s in the wings, she pulls out her phone to text Mike, and fill him in on everything that’s going on. He enters on Gabriella’s cue, and Miss Jenn pauses, watching him deliver his lines. All the distress, all the pain melts away as he steps into character.

It’s giving him a break from everything, she thinks, it has been the whole time. Theatre isn’t just a luxury or a passion for some people, it’s a means of survival. It hits her all at once, that in staying here, in facing the challenges and struggles that came from directing this show, she’s helping Ricky through one of the hardest things he’ll ever go through. She’s become the person she needed when she was his age; with only one parent, feeling completely lost at sea. Her chest squeezes, and she watches them sing, their voices sending a chill through her.

Backstage, in the few dark moments of the set change for Cellular Fusion, Nina somehow manages to corner you.

“What did you do to him?” she demands, and you know she’s referring to Ricky, who exited to the other wing. You stare at her, aghast. You lean in close, lowering your voice, desperately holding on to your professionalism.

“We have to go onstage, literally right now. I am not doing this with you right now.”

“Huh,” she scoffs with a fake smile, “you’re one to talk.” You have approximately two seconds to look at her, baffled by everything she’s saying, before you have to go on. You enter, and hit your mark. At the cue, you and Seb begin to harmonize. Right as you do, your phone - tucked away in the wings - silently begins to buzz. Your phone lights up with a text from your mom, informing you that Gina’s flight has finally landed, and they’ll be at the theater any minute.

You run off stage as Cellular Fusion wraps up, and Miss Jenn and Carlos are trying to figure out what to do about the Taylor dance break coming up. Kourtney has been doing great so far, but she doesn’t think she can handle choreography that complicated with so little time to rehearse.

“I could tell the pit to cut that section…” Carlos offers. You check your phone and your eyes light up, looking at the doorway.

“Uh,” you start with a smile, “I don’t think that will be an issue…”

Miss Jenn, Carlos, and Kourtney look over at Gina, smiling timidly.

“Oh, thank god,” Miss Jenn chokes out. She turns to Kourtney, then Gina. “You, go out there before you miss your cue. And you, quick change into something more 2006 before the dance break.”

They both agree, and a stagehand runs over with something for Gina to change into, guiding her to the dressing rooms.

“Is he doing any better?” you ask Miss Jenn before you go on. You don’t have much time, but you need to know if he’s okay.

“A little,” she says, “I think.” You both know it’s better than nothing, and you’re just hoping whatever he’s doing keeps working.

Stick to the Status Quo couldn’t be going any better. There’s so much happening, so much organized chaos, that he forgets about everything for a few wonderful minutes. There’s no time to think about that when he’s dancing on tables, begging his classmates not to sacrifice their individuality so they can fit in. It only gets better when you and Seb enter toward the end of the number. You look so genuinely pissed off that people are breaking free from the boxes they’ve been put in, and your voices sound perfect harmonizing together, reverberating through the auditorium.

He tries in vain to stop Zeke from giving you a cake, watching with bated breath as it smashes into your face. He turns away, just like he’s supposed to, but his eyes accidentally land on the one place in the audience he shouldn't be looking at. His stomach plummets. Has she been on her phone this whole time? After running from everything this whole night, it finally gets the best of him. He can’t stand it any longer, running into the wings as you let out an ear shattering scream, loud enough to finally make her look up.

“Someone… is going… to pay for this!” you yell furiously, before the lights go down. The curtain draws to a close as applause thunders through the building. The lights in the house go up for intermission, and you hear a slow rise of chatter as people mill about and make conversation as you exit the stage. You grab a makeup wipe a stagehand has ready, thanking them as Natalie calls out that intermission is starting, and you have 20 minutes to places for act two.

“Thank you 20,” you call out distractedly, searching for Ricky. You run to the back, wiping the rest of the whipped cream off your face, and check the boys dressing room to see if he’s in there. He is, sitting in there by himself, seeming worse than before. One look at his face and you know something else happened.

“She was on her fucking phone the whole time!” he states in disbelief, “Like…” The words dry up as he holds a pillow in his lap in a death grip.

“Oh my god…” you say, shaking your head. He’s not doing good, clearly. No one would be in his position. He pulls you in for a hug as soon as you’re close enough, one you reciprocate. He holds onto you tight, feeling just a little more stable as soon as you’re in his arms. Surrounded by your familiar grasp, it’s just a little easier to breathe, to think clearly. Unfortunately, it also means he has a much clearer grasp on everything that’s happened tonight and how it’s affecting him, how he feels about it. His dad is right behind you, and he lets go of you long enough to stand up and greet him. His dad pulls him into a hug, patting his back.

“I’m so sorry, kid. I had no idea she was going to pull something like this.” Mike’s voice wavers, and when Ricky doesn’t answer, you know it’s because he’s choked up. Miss Jenn enters a moment later, walking over to Ricky and Mike.

“The both of them have been removed from the premises.” She states.

“Thank you,” Mike says earnestly.

“Oh, it was nothing a little faked parking violation couldn't take care of," she says, earning a small smile from Mike. She turns to Ricky, continuing. “I filled you dad in on what’s been going on, too.”

“Maybe we should just go home,” Mike offers, knowing he probably won’t want to.

“No,” he protests, “I can do act two, I want to. Plus, if we leave now, she’ll know where we are and she’s going to ambush us again, and-”

“The one place you’re guaranteed not to run into her is here at the theater.” you finish quietly.

“Yeah,” Ricky agrees, motioning to you. Mike considers, weighing his options. Since she’s gone, if Ricky thinks he can handle it, he doesn’t see why he can’t do the second half of the show - especially since he seems to want to so badly. Maybe now isn’t the time to take that away from him, even if he means well.

“Okay,” he sighs. “But if anything happens, if you change your mind at all-”

“You’re the first to know.” Ricky agrees quickly.

“I want you to stay plugged in with me, okay?” Mike says, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Text me when you’re not onstage, let me know how you’re doing.” Ricky agrees again. Miss Jenn looks between them.

“Alright. Well, in that case, Ricky, you should get changed for act two.” She says with a tentative smile. He nods.

“Thank you. Thank you guys.” he says sincerely to his dad and Miss Jenn. Before you leave, you catch his eye.

“I’m going to refill my water, then I’ll be back here, okay?”

“Sounds good." He says, "Hurry back,” he adds quickly, giving you that sweet look with those big puppy dog eyes, and it makes your chest squeeze.

“Absolutely.” you agree.

You barely leave the dressing room before you're met with Nina. She barges forward and stands in front of you, arms crossed, and you realize she's waiting for you to move out of the way so she can get into the boys' dressing room. You don't budge.

“I need to talk to Ricky. I heard what happened, and I'm the only one who can convince him to go on for the second act, and I don’t need you-”

“Wow,” you begin, cutting her off, once again amazed at her audacity, “now is really not a good time. Don’t go in there and stir things up.”

She looks you up and down, letting out an indignant scoff.

“Don’t act like you know him like that. I’ve known him since we were in kindergarten, I know him better than anyone.”

You take in a deep breath, trying so hard to stay patient.

“Sure. You know him better than anyone.” you say, in a pacifying tone, “So you should know the last thing he needs is more pressure on him when he’s in the middle of a family crisis, right?” The question is rhetorical, and you continue, patience with her finally starting to run thin. “If you actually care about him, then for the sake of his well being you’ll leave him alone and let him get through this. Now is really not the time, Nina, read the goddamn room!”

The sentence is finished with an aggravated, humorless laugh. Your priorities right now are Ricky, and getting through opening night. You need to help him process some of the shit that's been happening tonight, make sure he’s okay, so he can perform like he wants to. The last thing he needs is Nina barging in there and telling him he’s letting the cast down, or that he’s not serious about theatre, and that he should have quit after auditions - all of which you’ve heard more times than you can count over the duration of rehearsals, even up to a few days ago.

You’ve tried so hard to be patient with her, but dear god, she’s really starting to get on your last nerve - nevermind the fact that you have a special type of hatred for the kind of people like Nina, who shit on people that are still learning about something they have more experience in; like telling someone they’re not serious about theatre because it’s their first show, for example.

“Do not fuck with him right now.” you state, rolling your eyes at her shocked expression.

You push past her, walking over to the water fountain. She watches you walk away, mouth hanging open, and lets out an indignant scoff. You swear to god, if one more thing goes wrong tonight, if one more person tries you, you’re going to absolutely lose it. You take a few deep breaths as you fill up your bottle, trying to calm down and center yourself a little. Once you’re done, you start to walk back to the dressing rooms, but you’re stopped by a woman who is definitely not cast or crew. She sees you and approaches, seeming a little pissy.

“I’m looking for Ricky Bowen?” she states. As she speaks, your stomach drops.

You recognize her voice from when you heard it on the phone, and from the voicemail Ricky showed you over Thanksgiving. This is Lynne Bowen. As in, the Lynne Bowen. The one that left. The same woman who’s made such a tactless and selfish decisions over and over that have ultimately caused her son to be on the verge of a breakdown just down the hall from where you’re standing right now.

“You are not supposed to be back here.” you state, desperately trying to figure out how to handle this. You pull out your phone and text Miss Jenn, ‘code red, really need backup’.

“Can you just tell me where Ricky Bowen is? I’m his mother.” she says it in a way immediately expects sympathy from you, sympathy she doesn’t receive. You stare at her blankly, and she continues, much less kind than she’d been pretending to be. “I need to see my son, okay? Maybe when you’re a mother someday you’ll understand-”

You’re not sure what about her, about the way she’s talking to you specifically is the last straw for you, but your patience is already running so thin it’s practically transparent. Against your better judgment, you cut her off.

“He does not want to see you. He doesn’t want to speak to you - or be anywhere near you right now, for the record - and you need to fucking respect that, okay?” you say decisively, offense written all over her face, “And you are really not allowed to be backstage if you’re not cast or crew, which you’re clearly not-”

“You are way out of line, young lady!” she yells, “I don’t care if he doesn’t want to talk. I’ll talk to him if I want to; I’m his mother.” She adjusts her purse, clearly expecting you to fold, to tell her where he is. You know you should keep your mouth shut, you know you should be diplomatic and patient and professional like you always are, you should wait for Miss Jenn to handle this, but you’ve spent the past three months watching Ricky suffer because of this woman and her choices. You can’t stay quiet when the woman who hurt him is right in front of you.

“I think you lost the right to pull that shit when you walked out the door and chose not to be in his life!” you snap, a dangerous smile on your face. The stunned look on her face is better than anything you’ve ever seen. It’s clear no one has ever tried to take her down a peg until now.

“How dare-”

“You gave him a free pass to hate you forever, because you’re not the parent who stayed! You didn’t try-”

Your words lose momentum as you find yourself suddenly looking at the wall to your right, your cheek stinging. The sound of her slapping you across the face echos across the walls for a moment before fading away, and you freeze, tears prickling the corners of your eyes from shock.

“Listen here you little slut,” she says, much more ferocious than before. All facades of a concerned mother have melted away. “You have no right to talk to me like that-”

“What the fuck?!”

You snap out of it, and she turns around at Ricky’s voice at the end of the hall.

“Ricky, my baby,” she starts, walking toward him, but she’s thrown off at how distant he seems toward her. “I’m sorry you had to see that, this girl is so-”

“Don’t ever talk about her like that again.” His voice is stone cold as he brushes past her, analyzing your expression closely to see if you’re alright.

“Are you okay?” he asks, voice shaky.

“I’m fine,” you say as calmly as possible, “are you okay?”

He’s decidedly not, but he tries to pull himself together.

“If you are, that’s all that matters.” Behind him, growing impatient, Lynne takes a step forward.

“Ricky,” she demands. He takes a breath, and leans closer to you.

“You should change for act two.” You look between them, wishing there was something else you could do, some way that you could make this better. You agree, stopping before you leave for your dressing room.

“Text me if you need anything.” you say seriously, and he agrees, understanding the subtext of your words. Text you if he needs backup, or if it gets to be too much, because you’re there for him. Lynne moves toward him again.

“Can we talk?” she says with a domineering tone to her voice, and you both know it’s not a question. You want to object, but all he wants is to get her away from you. He nods, indicating you should go, and you do - albeit, very reluctantly. He turns back to her.

“Yeah,” he says seriously, “I think we need to.”

She grabs his arm to lead him down another stretch of hallway, but he shakes her off immediately, walking a few feet in front of her.

“Ricky, are you alright?” she demands, once they’re relatively out of earshot. She crosses her arms. “I was so worried about you when you ran offstage like that.”

“I’m surprised you noticed.” he murmurs. She either ignores him or doesn’t hear. Regardless, she continues.

“Why did you leave? Is it stage fright? Because a lot of people are counting on you, honey. You made a commitment to this-”

“You’re one to talk about commitment,” he mutters, voice low, but loud enough to be heard. His impulse control is not at all where it should be, especially with how she just talked to you, what she called you.

“I’m sorry?” Lynne demands. She’s not used to Ricky yelling at her. She’s always had a lot of influence over him. He used to do everything she said, he’s always been such a mama’s boy until now.

“I mean, do you ever think about anyone besides yourself?�� he snaps, “Did you even care that you ruined the only thing I’ve been able to count on in my life- I can never get this night back, Lynne. And now…” he trails off, trying so hard to regulate his emotions, even though he knows he’s out of control. He takes a shaky breath, trying with everything he has inside him to reign it back in a little.

“...Why would you bring him to the show?”

Lynne looks stunned at his question.

“Wh-” she starts, “This is about Todd?”

“Why would you bring him here?” He demands, repeating himself.

“I…” she struggles for an answer, “wanted him to meet you.” she infuses as much guilt into her words as she can. He should feel bad for the way he’s speaking to her. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to throw you off.”

It doesn’t work this time, and he refuses to back down, to fawn for her. He doesn’t buy it for a second.

“So you waited until I was suspended, mid air over a basketball hoop, for me to see you all… cozied up together? You didn’t think - not for one second - that might be just a little upsetting to me?!”

“Ricky-”

“And what about dad, huh? How do you think he feels watching you feel each other up right in front of him?” tears brim in the corners of his eyes as everything he’s been suppressing all night, all these weeks and months finally breaks the surface. She lets out an indignant scoff and tries to say something, but he ignores her and keeps going. It’s an avalanche now, and he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to.

“He didn’t leave the couch for a week after you left!” he roars, remembering how hard it was to see his dad like that, to have to be the one to drag him out of it.

“...I didn’t know that-”

“How could you?!” he laughs bitterly, "You weren't there!" He screams. He doesn't think it's ever felt better to say something than it does now. "You weren't there the whole time I was rehearsing, you weren't the one running lines and going over blocking, and teaching me how to listen for cues and do stage makeup and quick change! You weren't there for any of the work that went into this, and you just waltz in here with the newest guy you're screwing to your fucking son's musical like you've been here the whole time, but you havent!" He's never yelled at her like this, but a part of him thinks after how much she hurt him - and his dad - it's long overdue. "You don't get to enjoy this show, and you don't get to be around me, or dad, or anything we do because you walked out!"

"You are way out of line-" she starts, voice cracking.

"No, you know what’s way out of line?" He demands, all too ready to throw her words back in her face. "Breaking my heart, breaking dad’s heart, then acting like everything is fine when it’s not!"

"You think I wanted to leave you?!" She screams back at him.

"Yeah," he answers quickly, "I do, because you did! And you know what? I'm glad you left." He spits, watching the pain grow in her eyes, his words like venom.

"All you do is hurt us."

She blinks like she was just slapped. He takes a step forward, shaking, angry tears silently spilling from his eyes. When he speaks, his voice is low and dead serious.

"Don't call me anymore."

Before she can say anything, he starts to walk away. She calls out to him, desperate to get the last word in, to make him know how much pain his words have caused her.

"You are really hurting me, Ricky." She says, voice shaking as she cries, "you're breaking your mother's heart."

The sound of his mother crying like that because of something he said should have wrecked him, but he pushes away any last remaining scraps of guilt his rage hasn't burned away yet. He turns back to her, no love in his eyes, and laughs bitterly.

"Yeah, I guess it runs in the family. You know, the one thing I got from you is the ability to ruin any relationship I have, so thanks for that, mom." He spits, turning to leave. She takes a step forward.

"Don’t you walk away from me-"

"Like mother like son, huh?" He barks. With that, he's gone. He doesn't stick around for any more of her manipulation or guilt tactics. He just really, really needs to see you right now.

#ricky bowen #ricky bowen x reader #ricky bowen angst #hsmtmts #hsmtmts x reader #hsmtmts angst #high school musical the musical the series #high school musical the musical the series x reader #high school musical the musical the series angst #:)#brace yourself #not sorry for this btw #it does in fact get worse #rocks at your window

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melobin · 4 months

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Oh!!! My bad🤭 Melobin*** and I am so happy you enjoyed writing that Wonbin piece! I enjoyed reading it hehe

Can I just say that I actually am struggling on picking a bias from riize? Like ofc I love my Shotaro because he’s the cutest thing but Sungchan?!37282 HES SO FINE, HANDSOME, CUTE, CHARMING AND JUSTBEUEJUDE I NEED HIM!!! Imagine him wanting to 69 with you 🫠

-❄️

cutie !! i love it… yk what i get it. sungchan.. something about sungchan is so !!! he’s so lovely and charming and sweet … he’s so hard not to pay attention to 💔 i feel like everyone goes through a bias crisis because of sungchan or eunseok at least once …

#✧ melody answers #✧ ❄️ anon

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atlasofthestaars · 5 months

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Would the Reader or the love interests giggle and twirl their hair while kicking their feet in the air like a middle schooler thinking about their crush? Jejwjdoe what a cutie patootie 😞

Probably not haha, mostly because the reader is oblivious to their own romantic feelings and writes it off as literally anything but romantic feelings. Example:

Reader: brushes hand with Liu Kang and gets butterflies

Reader:

Reader: i must be getting sick.

In the case where someone DOES spell it out for them, the reader would probably have a crisis over it

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brookietf · 1 year

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Crisis Core -Reunion- may still be a tonal and writing mess but atleast it has these two cuties.

#Cloud is so precious in this game #protect the boi #(literally the final mission of the game)#CCFF7R #Cloud Strife #tseng ff7 #Yuffie Kisaragi #Zack Fair

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zahri-melitor · 1 year

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Ok, I have now mopped up every extraneous storyline in my reread and I HAVE to start War Drums and War Games (and then I’ll do Identity Crisis afterwards, because goddamn is 2004 the start of the Grim Times)

Last thing I finished today was Nightwing #91-#95, so you know, I have been having some thoughts about Devin Grayson as a writer.

I’m very fond of Devin Grayson’s run on Gotham Knights, putting aside #16-17 and #20-21, the four issues focused on Dick Grayson only. I…don’t think that’s unusual; I think it shows the issue at hand.

I don’t think she’s a bad comics writer. She has objectively written clever, interesting comics that I have enjoyed reading. Most people would say GK Transference and 24/7 are great comic stories. After some thought, I think the issue for many DC fans is primarily that Dick Grayson is her all time fave but her headcanons about Dick long since departed from what other writers were doing with the character and she’s largely a fan of the secret Dick Grayson who lives in her head. And then she was handed the Dick Grayson book to write. It was a situation doomed to cause issues.

I’m not having a go at anyone for having “secret better version of a character who lives in your head”, we’ve all fallen foul to it on occasion. But the test case for whether letting someone who feels this way about a character write their comics is “are the fandom willing to go along with this”. Sometimes they are (please see Wally West’s backstory and supporting cast reappearing by sheer stubbornness of the fans and a handful of writers). Sometimes you’ve just pissed off your entire fandom while writing a whump storyline because you want to torture your favourite before getting to the catharsis (Devin Grayson).

Heck, if you look at what was the probable pitch for Grayson’s run up to #95, it’s…just a break the cutie whump run. Dick’s life falls apart, orchestrated by one of his nemeses, as his entire rogues gallery get the chance to attack him. We’ve all read this before. It’s the plot of Knightfall. The Maxine Michaels plot is supposed to be a Vicky Vale/Vesper Fairchild style story. We’ve seen these stories work and enjoyed them; the major difference is that they had resolutions. Devin Grayson never got to the redemption/catharsis bit of the story. I don’t know why.

The EXECUTION of the whump run however went far too hard in killing off supporting cast members and became egregious in parts (no really, why are we blowing up Haly’s Circus. And the apartment block. Why) and then, you know, #93-95 happened. But the starting idea wasn’t necessarily bad.

There’s even two issues in Grayson’s run up to #95 that I really like (#76 and #81) and I think that entirely comes down to the fact the storytelling picks up immediately when Devin Grayson is focusing on a character OTHER than Dick (Amy Rohrbach and Cass, respectively).

The issue isn’t so much “Devin Grayson is a bad writer”. The issue is that “Devin Grayson should not have been allowed to be Dick Grayson’s primary writer” and she should instead have been given books about characters she’s less obsessed with and worked out her desires to make her fave suffer by writing more fanfic.

#dc #z canon read throughs #the things Devin Grayson has done to characters

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crisiscutie · 1 year

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Sephiroth/Domestic Darling headcanons (Feat. Zack)

I wanted fluff headcanons. I wanted pregnancy headcanons. So why not both? Read part two here. Feat. Platonic Zack/Darling and platonic SephZack. Mentioned Zerith. Set late Crisis Core. TW: Pregnancy and body change. Sephiroth with yandere/possessive tendencies.

Honestly, neither of you were keen about children, especially since Sephiroth had just left SOLDIER. Zack was a lifesaver, helping you two decide where to go and coming up with a clever alibi for your escape. He would've made a great travel agent in another life, with his skill in planning the best trips.

You and Sephiroth will definitely miss Zack. You guys withheld the big news, not wanting to distress the poor boy with it.

During the journey, you had to fight off your fear and stress. You didn’t want your newly formed family to spend the rest of their days pursued by Shinra.

Sephiroth promises that he'll go to any length to keep you and your unborn child safe. He appears composed about the dilemma, though you wonder if it’s him just trying to appear strong.

You remind him it’s normal to feel scared and overwhelmed by this dilemma like you.

He then softly grasps your hands, looking deeply into your eyes. His gaze sends a wave of warmth through your body.

"My love for you surpasses my fear of Shinra."

The emotion in his voice and the fire in his eyes makes you weep tears of joy as you embrace him. How could you be so worthy of his devotion?

You two settled into a secluded village in the country. The farthest city is hours off, which is perfect for you both.

Sephiroth consistently keeps track of your every move. He usually accompanies you when possible.

He’s remarkably protective of you. He’ll scan your immediate surroundings for any signs of danger and assess your wellbeing often.

He's territorial when other villagers are around you. Although he maintains his professional and distant persona, it's easy to tell from his energy that others should say what they need to and then leave you two be.

If some hapless souls overstep boundaries and/or threaten you, they'll be begging for a speedy end to their anguish.

He needs to be reminded to take a deep breath and let go of any stress. Enjoying your new life together won’t be pleasant if you’re both constantly paranoid.

At first, he’d be reasonably naïve about maternity, but afterwards he’d research every book he can get about it. He strives to help and understand you as much as he can. He wishes to provide you with the same comfort and emotional security that you provided to him while he was in SOLDIER.

Sometimes, he'll swoop you up into his arms, just because he can. Holding you requires no effort, but he’ll treat you with utmost care, especially if you’re in your first trimester.

Since he developed a mild case of Couvade Syndrome, squabbles will occur more. He’ll become aloof after bothersome, foolish arguments (Going out by yourself at the dead of night? No way!). However, he’ll be ready for any crisis or needs you have. Nothing will be more important than you.

You’d have to forgive him for gently teasing you for your strange food cravings. He’d take a bite of the food just to put a smile on your face, though.

In your second trimester, your baby bump will show. The sight and feel of it mesmerizes Sephiroth. He absolutely worships your pregnant body. Belly rubs are customary under his watch!

If Zack miraculously encounters you two, you would happily welcome him into your home (with discretion, of course). He was the anchor that kept you both steady during the period of your separation from Sephiroth sometime ago. You feel an immense sense of gratitude towards him.

The announcement of your pregnancy was astounding to Zack initially. After the shock wears off, he is ecstatic, congratulating you both.

Before he asks to touch your belly, you and Sephiroth speak in unison.

“Permission granted.”

Despite Zack's trustworthiness, Sephiroth's arm instinctively wraps around you when he comes close to your belly. An unwavering sense of security radiates from him. Though this is not intentional.

Zack carefully lays his hand on your stomach, giving your belly a soft, singular stroke as he feels your baby kick within you.

You can't help but feel your spirits lift when you look into Zack's baby blue eyes, twinkling with joy. He merrily proclaims himself the honorary uncle of your little one.

Later on, after reflecting on the events he's gone through, Zack questions whether quitting Shinra is the right thing to do. You and Sephiroth offered him words of encouragement, pushing him to do it. You both cite your current lives as a testimony. Freedom from Shinra is the most precious gift a SOLDIER can have.

Zack grins, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he declares he will bring his flower girl sweetheart to meet you two if he carries out his plan.

You and Sephiroth said your goodbyes to Zack with heavy hearts as he departed. He vows to come back one day. You have faith that he'll choose to leave SOLDIER and become a hero of his own volition.

You and Sephiroth spent that night in peaceful silence near the fireplace. You sit on his lap and his head nestles into your neck. His warm hands lightly cradle your big belly. You can feel your baby kicking and squirming as you approach the end of your pregnancy. Your delivery date is almost here.

Having a lot more time with him and finally living together was a fantasy you’ve had. With the fantasy now a reality, you would never exchange it for anything. Nothing will tear you two apart.

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radioactive-earthshine · 11 months

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YJVol3 was a very…questionable run, but I do like that it 1) (Re)Established Bart as a Cutie™️, and 2) Established that if Kon were to ever have kids, he would name them after Ma and Pa, and 3) (Re)Established the lengths that Kon and Bart would go to for each other (although I think that’s the Cour 4 in general. Anywhores).

Unfortunately, these small list of pros are not enough to make for the countless other sins of YJVol3, especially Dark Crisis.

They're crumbs but I devoured them like New York City pigeons.

I agree that 2019 YJ had a lot of faults (Bendis MUSHY ass writing) but in my opinion it did not do irreparable damage to the Core Four and it was fun to read and we got some new characters. Kon and Bart I feel really saved that series. DCYJ had extreme continuity issues as a result of poor editorial direction (and just ??? writing) and the best part of it was Bart, as well.

Poor Bart is getting his arms built by holding up YJ.

#i might be in the minority with yj 2019 i honestly don't think it was THAT bad #then again i am coming from the lens of reading tom king and dan didio bs #is it faultless fuck no but it's not this horrible series that some people make it out to be #it's not ttv3 #THAT was bad #THAT did damage we're still healing from #when i first read yj2019 it felt like an apology for ttv3 #but that's just me

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heartfullofpony · 2 years

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ON YOUR MARKS

After a bit of a haitus, I have resumed my HINDSIGHT series of essays, rewatching and reflecting upon episodes in the series after it ended.

On Your Marks is truly extraordinary storytelling. It's the first crusader episode to follow up on the CMC's after they earn their marks.

In this story, Apple Bloom suffers from an existential crisis. The Crusaders all got their cutie marks in helping others with their cutie mark problems, but in reality, cutie mark problems are actually relatively rare. This begs the question: what are the three of them supposed to do now?

After a meeting, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo decide to go their separate ways - to try new interests - to explore other hobbies and experiences purely for the joy of it.

Scootaloo is excited to try bungee jumping. Sweetie Belle is thrilled to experiment with crochet. Apple Bloom, however, is embittered and heartbroken at the idea of having to do things on her own. She sings a melancholy country ballad about it and everything!

She even gets so wrapped up in her own lonliness, that she fails to recognize a cutie mark problem when she sees it.

Of course, it all gets resolved in the end. After much misunderstanding and drama, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo finally manage to get Apple Bloom to understand that they're still friends - that separating to try new things every once in a while doesn't affect their friendships - that it's healthy to pursue their own hobbies.

The three of them rush to solve that cutie mark problem that had been hiding right under Apple Bloom's nose - a young colt who loves to dance, but lacks the courage to perform.

This episode will be remembered mostly for how well it set the tone for the crusaders' future development, and of course, for its triumphant climax at the dance recital. I see in it, however, a profound insight into Apple Bloom's psyche.

If you think about it, the whole reason that the crusaders formed in the first place was because of Apple Bloom's existential crisis. All three of them were eager to earn their marks, but Apple Bloom is the one who seemed most desperate to fill a void in her life. To see that same desperation resurface even after they have their marks? To see that Apple Bloom is the only crusader to have these sorts of identity issues? To view the world through her eyes, and see her terror, resentment, and depression at the prospect of doing things alone - enjoying them for enjoyment's sake?

It shows us that Apple Bloom has issues that run far deeper than mere cutie marks.

Children who lose parents or siblings at an early age often grow up feeling like something is missing - even if they can't rationally explain what that something is. They become questing personalities.

Apple Bloom will always be prone to existential crisis because she lost her parents when she so very young. The void in Apple Bloom can never truly be filled.

But this doesn't make her a hopeless or tragic character. After all, everyone has some baggage or another. If anything, it makes her ultimate path as an instructor all the more noble. Apple Bloom defines her own meaning in relation to others - not just amongst her friends, but also her cutie mark clients. Helping others find meaning in their lives is what infuses Apple Bloom's own life with meaning. Her eventual career path at the School of Friendship will give her countless opportunities to lead, and to teach, and to quench her psychological thirst.

It's a calling. And it's beautiful. Apple Bloom's devotion toward others is a light that shines all the brighter because of the tragedy it comes from. The show never explicitly states this, but in hindsight, it couldn't be clearer.

-Sprocket

If you enjoy my writing, please consider supporting my work on Patreon

You can also Follow Me on Fimfic

#my little pony: friendship is magic #my little pony #mlp #mlp:fim #analysis #cutie mark crusaders #apple bloom #altruism

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ashtrayfloors · 8 months

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a journal entry comprised entirely of excerpts from letters & postcards written to friends

(@belialjones and @endreal - don't peek if you don't want spoilers!)

I remember in one of the letters you sent me, you asked what my current inspirations are, and even though they've changed since then, I thought I'd reply. What's inspiring me right now is: the photography of Nan Goldin, the art of Tracey Emin, the novels of William T. Vollmann, John Waters and David Lynch films, and the poetry of Cynthia Cruz, Forough Farrokhzad, and Alexis Rhone Fancher.

I'm currently on a little vacation with my family, up on the peninsula of Wisco. I've been reading a lot and hiking in the woods and going to the beach.

...

My vacation has been great. I've been reading poetry & eating pizza & watching the Perseids meteor showers.

...

I accidentally broke my own heart the other day. I had my 'on repeat' playlist on shuffle and what songs played back to back? Paul Westerberg's "Got You Down," followed by R.E.M.'s "Nightswimming." Fucking oof.

In general, I've been going thru a bout of nostalgic melancholy. What else is new? Haha, but really though. You know, I'm writing about all this stuff for RC #27, and reminiscing about one era of my life inevitably turns into reminiscing about others. And then I was up in Door County, driving down old familiar roads, listening to old familiar tunes, and remembering driving those same roads, listening to those same tunes, getting stoned with my friends circa 1997-2003, and I don't even miss getting stoned but I do miss those friends. I try to have a positive attitude about things changing, but I still get sad driving past places and thinking about what's gone—and more than that, who's gone. And I was thinking about the summer of 2013. And then I was thinking about the summer of 2012 and how that summer I was all nostalgic for the summer of 2006 and how it seemed impossibly far in the past, and then timeghost showed up and was like: "Oooo...2012 was closer to 2006 than it is to nowww, ooo..."

I realized that my whole life, I've been trying to get back to this mythic Perfect Summer that didn't really exist. Right now, I'm missing 2013 & 2012. In 2012, I wished it was '06. In '06, I wanted '03. In '03, I wanted '00; in '00, I wished it was '97, and on and on.

Other than that, I've been having feelings about small towns and Americana. It's kinda weird. On the one hand, I'm a deviant radical queer artist. On the other hand, I love so much Americana. But I think you get it.

...

I've been having hella zine/zinester nostalgia. Next year marks 30 years that I've been making zines. I'm thinking about putting a book together of the best stuff from my first 30 years of zines, and then having a release party w/ local bands n' stuff.

I've been particularly nostalgic for the early '00s Chicago zine scene. I'll never forget that time you and I went to Kinko's late at night to make Xerox art. 22 years ago, what the fuck? I also recently found my Loop Distro/Al Burian Totally Wants My Ass shirt. Oh man.

Recently I was having a bit of an identity crisis. See, I've always thought of myself as someone who gets crushes easily, and as a slut (in spirit, if not always in practice—meaning, even in a monogamous relationship I still have the desire to fuck lotsa people even if I don't act on it). But for a while I hadn't gotten a proper crush on anyone, and didn't really even think about hooking up w/ anyone but my partner. And it was weird! I was like, who am I, if I'm no longer the totally crushed out slut? But then after that, I had a couple sexy online convos w/ queer cuties, and got my flirt on IRL w/ a punk rock fella who lives in my neighborhood, a Scottish fiddle player, and a gorgeous redhead girl w/ a tattoo of a fox, and I was like: Oh. Guess I'm still slutty and crushed out, after all.

#ashtrayfloors #dear livejournal #letters #inspiration #vacation #door county #music #nostalgia #melancholy #we get one real summer #only one in our time #zines #zine life #chicago #identity #crushes #sluttiness

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nuri148 · 1 year

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LONG POST WARNING.

TLDR: Creative crisis, venting.

While I hope that the winter break, despite the social commitments of the Christmas Levi's birthday season, will provide quiet moments to write, I am also kinda worried and probably will have to take a moment to reflect.

The past 6 months were incredibly stressful due to Real Life™ Adulting™ stuff. The writing frenzy that I've been caught it since June is one of the outlets I turned to to help me deal with that.

As of last Sunday, the situation that had me on the brink of insanity has thankfully come to a (good) end.

I am drained both physically and mentally.

And whether because of the fatigue that comes after the storm or because, stress source removed, I may be seeing things from another perspective, I've started to fall into the familiar pattern of losing faith in my WIP.

It didn't help that I was reading a long fic that started great but made me lose interest in the second half.

Over the past weeks I was tinkering with the outline a bit. I felt the original outline was a fit far-fetched and made light of trauma (it's shit that hasn't happened yet in the fic - but think of a sorta insta-fix kind of scenario). So I worked it around a bit to reduce the angst-to-healing ratio, but now I feel I have no conflict for the mc to overcome.

So as we were driving to the airport today I thought maybe I should get back to the original outline. Create drama. Solve it with a twu wuv kiss. Who gives a shit, it's fanfic! Right?

And then of course I'm thinking again that following that line would be a slap on the face to people with actual issues that might be similar.

Call it impostor syndrome, call it overanalizing, call it being an idiot.

After all, I did post the flashback scene from ch. 3 with zero guilt about the sensitive issue it describes (see how nice I am in not giving spoilers?).

So, this is the situation now. Send me some #1 ☕️😉 bc I needz it.

If you read this far, you're a cutie patootie and I love you. 💙

#writing problems #clarity fic #writing fanfic #imposter syndrome #writers woes #venting #clarity tea house

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iguessitsjustme · 1 year

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All the Liquors - Eps 1 & 2 Drunk Thoughts

Here me out. I’m gonna get drunk while watching this show that heavily features and see what that does to the experience. For science. Also to get rid of some of my wine. I am but one tiny person who barely drinks. Why do I have so much wine? Also I am writing this little intro before actually getting drunk and watching. I need to make sure that at least part of this is coherent. Though I will let y’all in on a little secret, people have a hard time knowing when I’m drunk texting because I proofread everything I ever type so much due to my perfectionism. I’m trying to be better about it though so who knows what’s going to happen. Drunk thoughts start now:

-I’m now inebriated and I have my honey roasted cashews. Time to goooooooooooooooooo

-They are festive. Look at them.

-Sitting closer to the tv just means I need to turn down the brightness it does not helpful for reading the captions. Who designed this I want words.

-Ew a break up. Who would break up with that little cutie. Look at that face. Don’t worry baby you’ll find better. Look at you and how sweet you are. Come here, I’ll give you some wine and ice cream - I HAVE ICE CREAM. What a wonderful drunken revelation.

-Who goes to a cafe for beer? That looks like a place that serves cafe. Wait no. Coffee.

-He’s using his breakup as an excuse to drink and it turns out, so am I. Using his breakup I mean. I haven’t broken up with anyone. The day I stop being single is the day the world breaks out into another crisis. I’m not saying it’s related but the last time I got a serious boyfriend, covid struck.

-Those are the tiniest trash bags I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Maybe my back wouldn’t hurt so bad if my trash bags were that small. It is a hike to my dumpsters. I gotta walk through a restaurant

-These people just be fallin in these shows.

-Aw they provided him a safe place to be passed out. There’s a reason I only drink at home.

-THEY’RE ALL CUTIES

-”Is he pure or dumb?” you know I get that question a lot.

-He got really angry for someone asking about alcohol. Though he makes a good point. My dude did just pass out drunk and then immediately ask for more. My guy, methinks you might have a problem.

-Why these girls so mean? If they didn’t have that stick up their ass they’d be so pretty. Look at them being so pretty. Pretty and petty. I love the way he handled them though. Like y’all it’s so easy to just go somewhere else that can accommodate you. Good god.

-Why does everyone and their brother want this man to provide them alcohol? Just order what’s on the menu.

-Oh what a heckin dick. She’s just going to post that she ignored the restaurant’s policies and blame it on the restaurant? She’s no longer pretty in the slightest. Go get drunk elsewhere you absolute dillwank. There are other restaurants in Korea.

-I’m actually obsessed with this opening. I love it so much. Cannot explain.

-Starting episode 2 now. And you know. I’m starting to think this boy might have a problem. Wait I think I might have said that earlier.

-Chef: ”I’m going to quit cooking.” Me: “You’re going to stop cooking? How you gonna eat?...oh wait.”

-This show was right. All the liquors. One day I will try soju. It’s on my list of alcohols to try. I don’t have very many on the list. Anyone care to guess my favorite liquor? It’s rum. But only because I don’t think sake counts as liquor. But I’m not all that knowledgeable about alcohol.

-This show from the tsundere chefs perspective is WILD. This man shows up drunk, passes out, wakes up and asks for food and more liquor, then shows up again later with armfulls of alcohol.

-I need someone to come bring me food. Someone come bring me food please. In exchange I will give you…an unhinged and chaotic personality and also show you my favorite shows.

-OH MY GOD IT’S COME FULL CIRCLE. His friend is telling him to ask that chef.

-I cannot express enough how much I need that man’s cardigan. I need it more than words can express.

-I’m not wearing my glasses and for a second I thought that said “Restaurant Good.” Would you believe I’ve been to a restaurant called Good before? And that it is, in fact, good. They weren’t just saying shit. Delicious. Now I want to go back but it’s too far.

-Cuties ABOUND.

-But whyyyy does he not want alcohol? I mean I get it and I respect his decision. But his love interest is currently an alcoholic.

-OH MY GOD HIS ARM. HE OKAY????????

#all the liquors #all the liquors the series #all the liquors bl

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