#Considering it took me FOREVER!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dozyrogue · 4 months

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Hey I'm an old tubbling (dsmp days) that hasn't been really keeping up with the qsmp but knows some of tubbo's lore. What's all this about a revived tubbo? If you don't mind explaining of course.

Hiii anon!! As you hopefully remember tubbo does a lot of subtle lore so the only way to understand the revival is if u get some conext before that. Sorry if it gets just a little bit rambley

I will do my best to explain but for some background ever since maybe purgatory 1 qtubbo has been spiraling. Then he got sunny and genuinely tried to be good for her. And he was!! Hes a great dad to sunny but qtubbo is very mentally ill.

Then he got kidnapped for purgatory 2 and came back significantly worse. He became very passively suicidal, like he didn't outwardly say he wanted out, but from his actions you wouldn't know any better. At least from chats pov. Like he would jump off the top of tubchunk and get downed and sunny would be forced to revive him. "Accidentally" falling off the wall when hanging with phil. Going against the eye workers and just not caring how many times he died. It was pretty bad.

He started feeling like all his friends didn't really care for him and only wanted to use him for the factories he made and the supplies he had created. Then fit and pac got together and again he got significantly worse. So because the relationship that is morning crew changed even tho they claimed it wouldn't. Tubbo started actively pushing people away. Like he would purposely be suppppper fucking annoying and loud and abrasive. It was like he was testing who would stay with him even if he was being a dick. And basically no one passed really. Like even sunny would constantly go to fit or pac or bagi. Saying she doesnt know how to help her dad, he needs help, plz help him. And they would all respond in some variation of "aaahhh its just tubbo!!! Hes fine. Hes just being dramatic." Or assume its about fred.

On top of that because of tubbos mental stability. He couldn't really help Sunny's with her feelings and mental stability.

And I wanna mention all the eggs could see him rotting away and they would mention it too their parents, but they were like "well keep an eye on him" but didn't exactly do much. At least from tubbos pov

But moving on to the new island/spawn point.

For the most part he didn't really interact with morning crew at first. He was with foolish and the town of fobo and he was so fucking happy!!!! It was awesome!! Like even sunny was so excited that tubbo was happy again. Foolish and town of fobo was a new start for him and he felt appreciated. But everything changed when create was put behind a pay wall (I love atla lmao)

So foolish got to get to work on town of fobo projects but tubbo was feeling extremely useless. He couldn't participate in the only way he knew how. create.

He felt useless without a purpose, and was trying hard to get the money for create. He had his high with the beginning of town of fobo but this new create playwall would be the star of a new low. He was once again actively rotting in front of his friends especially his daughter and only she and a few eggs really noticed. His friends would laugh and giggle that hes being dramatic. He was rotting away again in real time. Faster than before really. Tubbo was lacking purpose, he was useless in his eyes and started looking for a purpose, a reason to keep living.

How did he find that you're wondering??? By getting two lives. So one day we had a bunch of the eggos with him. One being empanada and he brought up the fact she's the only egg with one life. How that sucks and if he could he would give a life up for her. Empanada of course refuses. But he keeps going and was like "oh you know what would be really cool..... Only having 2 lives and if I die I don't come back for good." *stares at chayanne*

Empanada is refusing and hes like "naaahh it would be really fun and cool tho." She even tries to get him to stop by bringing up sunny. And he stops for a millisecond and says something like "sure she wouldn't like that too much but I'll be fine" so now he's on two lives.

The thing is tubbo was not hiding this information, like he brought it up all the time. "I have to be careful I only have 2 lives" then he lost one. "I only got one life then I'm dead dead." Feb 13 he almost lost it due to radiation (he will never escape the nuke aesthetic lol) and the next day valentines day he dies.

And I have to make it very clear tubbo keeps telling everyone hes working on one life. He only has one life. Hes doing hardcore. Everyone thought he was joking. So on valentines he went out with a group consisting of sunny, fit, ramon, phil, chayanne, chunsik, and richarlyson. They wanted to compete a dungeon together and tubbo was down for it.

Tubbo ended up making a beat with richarlyson that he ended up losing. Richas killed him, qtubbo ended up dying begging for fit to help him but he died anyway. But it wasn't like last time he didn't come back. Fit basically left immediately sunny was left just standing over her dads body in shock. Chayanne also thought he was joking this whole time but unfortunately learned that he was being serious. And phil was there to just laughing saying tubbos being dramatic lol. No one took his death seriously, like they were all joking and laughing in front of his daughter saying he was having a tantrum and would be back when create is back. The only other person who understood sunny was chayanne.

People only started takeing his death kinda seriously was after creation showed up. The eggs did at least

Now creation is a robot that a ~version of~ qtubbo made to protect the eggs. More importantly protect sunny. Especially in the event that "primary protector" aka tubbo is gone. So late during the valentines stream on phils end, creation shows up confirming that qtubbo is dead dead and hes not coming back unless creation has the proper data. His purpose. The only way to get tubbo back is to bring him back with his purpose

And now I can finally talk about this weeks streams. Creation comes and we are shown the message that was left for sunny. Saying he doesn't know how he got himself into this, and how sunny shouldnt have to hear this message. How he expects any of the adults there to care for her. He knows he hasn't been a good example of self care. But he explains that he will have no idea that he left the message, he will have no idea that the message will even exist. There's only 2 people that can show u this message, and he promises that he will make sure she will never see either of their faces. He apologizes and explains that he never expected to have to take care of anyone else. Goes on to say if he had known he was going to care for someone else he would have never signed up for this kind of "scheme" or "operation." We don't exactly know what hes talking about tho.

He again emphasizes that the friends that we have will take care of her. And how he refuses to believe that they would let anything happen to her. And tells her to keep going and have fun in life because she's just a kid. Then we were cut back to creation who finds sunny saying he needs to find people to help bring him back. They end up with a group consisting of bagi, sunny, empanada, and chayanne and they work together to get what creation needs to bring back tubbo. Its old smooth stone, form a mod, thats before the rest of the islands time. The old order creation stated. And eventually find a secret room in town of fobo, that bagi decodes a book to get the data needed to bring tubbo back. Builds a contraption and creation dies but tubbo is alive again!!!

Then we have the next stream and tubbo is back,,, but he's different-

he comes out of lava and only remembers dying and he thinks he's been gone a day at best. He learns that only fit helped sunny. He doesn't want to believe, but its mostly true. But oddly enough he plans to murder people cuz how dare people not take care of her. Hes more aggressive, he keeps making threats of murder and only sunny is safe it seems. Hes massively holding grudges as well.

they woke chayanne up and hes basically jumping on him and yelling lmao. Claims chay doesnt care cuz he didn't wake up immediately and isn't happy hes back. And like chatters know chay was genually fuck up after losing tubbo. But dude is s c r e a m i n g at sleeping chay.

Chay wakes up, they go outside and end up talking, learned he was gone a week but hes very loud not understanding the vibes of 2 depressed children who missed him very much. He keeps trying to speak but the windchimes are pissing him the fuck off to the point he rips them down. Noises in general is really pissing him off, like things that normally would be really quiet like fire places and the motor boats he gets really angry cuz he claims its really loud.

Just overall being a Menace. Like Chayanne apologized for hitting him and Tubbo was like "oh it's okay it's okay I understand but I will simply take note of that and you'll never know when I'll Strike Back." So he's threatening even the eggs even If he is joking. Qtubbo never use to do that, some.of the eggs ruined his farm and it sent him into a tirade of just talking about how things build up and up and up how they turn into large cracks in the wall and eventually the wall will break. But as he's doing this he practically yelling but aggressively. Also threatened chat saying he can prove how scary he can be lmao.

And was constantly asking people who they think the worse parent of the island is. Sunny and chay were just tryna see where he is mentally. But hes like cornering chay "DONT I LOOK FINE, IM ALL GOOD, WHATS WRONG???"

In other words hes very angry???

Fit was just existing and man's dogged on him "what you think you're so much better than me with your spit shine bald head of yours" and anytime any of the group would try and talk away from him hes just "ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME???" "WHATS HAPPENING, IS THIS ABOUT ME"

Oh and he keeps mentioning the little time people have left.

Like I said some of the eggs ruined Sunny and Leo's farm and he starts off calmish??? But just gets angrier or aggressive is a better term?. Planning to just stand over richas's bed and stare at him. Hes giving arg kinda need to draw that ngl.

He gets mad that the lil group of fit, chay, Sunny, and ramon for fixing the farm that the other eggs destroyed. And fit is trying to like convince him that it's okay like they're just kids it's a mistake. And fit is like it isnt your house so it's okay and tubbo is like "fit I think you're undermining my feelings how is that okay." And fit is just like "oh but it's just like a little thing so it's no worries." And this is how tubbo goes on his "chips and cracks in the walls monologue" that sums up his character perfectly.

Soooo yeeeaaaahhh revived tubbo something else

#qsmp tubbo #yes I could have constricted what I said more but I feel like that be really hard considering how tubbo presents lore #for me at least #qsmp creation #tubbo #imagine ctubbo's passive suicidel idiation but way worse #tw self destructive behavior #tw sui ideation #tw death #i know theres words wrong here and i can only fix so much #took me forever to write these i just feel like theirs so much context needed #this took me a hot minute to write #it's my magnum opus #asks #i wrote all of this and still feel like i didnt really asker the question

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paarthursass · 8 months

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well i GOTTA ask ""you haven't changed." "...do you mean that in a good way or bad way?""

exes to lovers dialogue

"You haven't changed."

Aurel did not meet Wyll's gaze. They sat within a breadth of each other; Wyll's hands were warm as he bandaged the burns on Aurel’s chest.

He had borne burn scars on his back, once. It seemed only fitting that now he would bear the reverse; a symbolic branding of the change he had undergone.

'I could only obtain one Scroll of True Polymorph. Karlach required it more urgently than I.'

"That's not what I meant," Wyll hissed.

Aurel almost missed the intimacy of when they had both carried tadpoles in their minds; the effortless psychic link that had cropped up between them, even back when Aurel was so desperately trying to hide himself from Wyll. He could have re-established the connection now; his own psychic powers were strong enough, and he did so dearly wish he could just know what Wyll was thinking instead of trying to interpret the cadence of his voice and the way he breathed.

But it would be an invasion of privacy, and it would mean facing the full force of Wyll's grief.

Aurel grieved himself enough.

'Then say what you mean.'

"You broke into Mephistopheles' library, Aurel!"

'Yes,' Aurel replied plainly, still not facing Wyll. 'We have spent months chasing inconclusive leads among Zariel's forces. Conversely, we knew with certainty that Mephistopheles' realm held tomes and scrolls of every arcane spell in existence. And with Hope’s House holding a portal to Cania, it was more efficient to steal a scroll from him than to chase flimsy rumors to every end of Avernus.'

"Don't do that," the small part of Aurel's heart that was still a man twinged at how Wyll’s voice broke. "Don't try and speak to me like you're just a mind flayer."

'I am just a mind flayer.'

Aurel felt bile rise in his throat. He snapped his head to the side to turn his cold, violet gaze onto Wyll. HIs old lover paused in his work, his dark devil-eye staring back unflinchingly.

There was a time he could have read Wyll’s face with ease. He would have known what the clench of his jaw meant, or if the way his fingers trembled were from anger or grief.

Or perhaps he had been fooling himself, lost in the throws of new love, and he didn’t know Wyll at all.

'You and Karlach have been putting on a pantomime. Whether for my sake or to ease your own grief, I do not know, but what I do know is that Mizora was right; Aurel died that day in the Astral Prism. His soul has left for the Fugue Plane, and I am only an echo of his memories. I am an abomination to illithid-kind, and a cruel reminder to you.'

Wyll’s jaw flexed, his lips pursed into a thin trembling line — grief then. Of course. The man he loved was dead.

Once, Aurel would have pulled him close to chase those tears away. He would have cupped his face in his hands, kissed his cheeks, held him as he wept...

His mouth was no longer made for tenderness, but for cracking through skulls and gorging on the grey matter within. His hands were warped into cold, slimy claws that inspired more disgust than warmth. His closeness would only bring Wyll more discomfort.

That seemed to be all he brought Wyll nowadays.

'Well, you need no longer continue this farce,' Aurel went on. 'With the Scroll of True Polymorph, Karlach can inhabit a new body free of the Infernal Engine. The two of you may return to the Material Plane.'

"You're not coming with us?" Wyll's voice broke, his remaining eye large and wet and grief-stricken.

'I will not force you to endure my presence any longer,' Aurel turned away. And he cursed his ceremorphosis — not for transforming him into a monster, but for making him this incomplete thing that still wavered when faced with Wyll’s forlorn gaze.

'There is ample food for me here, and I will take pleasure in knowing I am thinning Zariel's forces as I feed.'

"Alone?"

He hated how quiet Wyll's voice was. Why didn't he hate him? Why were they both clinging to a ship they both knew was sinking?

'I cannot be what you want,' Aurel said stiffly. 'I have told you; I am an echo of who Aurel was. I am a living reminder of your dead love. You need not suffer me any longer.'

"I don't suffer you."

'I see how you look at me, Wyll!' Aurel snapped his head around to look at Wyll once more, tentacles flaring. 'You do not see me; you see a dead man you once loved. You saw how Mayrina dragged along the rotting corpse of her husband; I will not be your Connor!'

Wyll flinched, as did Aurel — surprised by the force of his own psychic lashing. Every time he spoke he tried to keep a tether on his telepathy, tried to keep himself from probing too far and sharing too much but in that moment...

"That's really what you think you are," Wyll breathed, his eyes wide. "A shambling zombie trailing after me?"

Aurel's tentacles twitched, and he turned so he could no longer look at Wyll's large, sad eyes.

'Mizora was right,' he said again. He could almost hear her shrill laughter, echoing on the winds of Avernus. 'I am a worm wriggling around in a dead man's brain. I recall his life, his feelings, as if they were my own...and when left to my own devices, I still trick myself into thinking I am him.'

Aurel was quiet for a moment. The balcony doors were open, the rust-red sky of Avernus plain to see. The faint smell of sulfur wafted in, but in Raphael's old boudoir the smell of incense still overpowered Avernus's acrid stench.

They had killed Haarlep here. The incubus had leered at him, tongue tracing their fangs as they looked to make Aurel their next meal, and Wyll had held on to his hand so tightly, as if he was afraid one lecherous look from the incubus would pull him away from his side.

Haarlep hadn't taken him, but only a few days later...the Netherbrain, the Emperor, Orpheus...

'I thought about it.'

Aurel glanced back at Wyll, cheeks wet from silent tears but eyes soft with confusion. "Thought about what?"

'When Orpheus said what needed to be done,' Aurel turned to look back at Avernus. He couldn't look at Wyll, not when admitting this. 'I thought of asking him to do it instead.'

Wyll went quiet. Aurel did not know whether it was grief, or disappointment, or shame that caused his silence, but he persisted all the same.

'The rightful Prince of the Githyanki; their best hope of liberation and ending Vlaakith's tyranny. I thought of asking him to become illithid instead. Worse, I thought it would have been better to let the Emperor feed on him, to let them kill him and take his power, because that would have meant it wouldn't have to be me.'

The carefully maintained dam of his telepathy cracked again. Just a little as his grief, as his anger bubbled over. But it seemed to be enough; Wyll's lips parted, his eyes widened as the torrent of Aurel's emotions seeped through.

'I thought to damn the Githyanki people — Lae'zel's people. I was weak, and I was terrified, and all I could think about was how I wanted to go to that dinner with Karlach and Fytz. I wanted to see Gale’s tower in Waterdeep. Hells, I even wanted to help Astarion find a new home for him and the other spawn.'

Aurel's entire body had gone rigid. He shook, his claws digging into the sheets of the bed while his tentacles trembled as he stared intently at the wall.

'I wanted my father to recognize me when I went home,' he could not sob, not anymore, but the flood of thoughts and feelings felt nearer to hysteria than he'd been in a long, long time. 'I wanted us to have more than just that one night under the Wilden Oak. I wanted to go to sleep at night by your side and then kiss you awake each morning. And I wondered to myself, 'Could I?' Could I sacrifice the freedom of an entire people just so I could wake up each morning with you in my arms?'

His whole body trembled as those emotions ceremorphosis should have snuffed out spilled over into the air. A small, broken gasp escaped Wyll as he felt it, as all the rage and grief and shame that Aurel had been so desperately trying to hide all these months spilled over into the light.

'I was almost so weak. Weak and stupid and selfish. And I have spent these past months trying to convince myself that it was worth it. That becoming this was worth sacrificing our future.'

He didn't think he was capable of this anymore. This rage, this overwhelming grief, this pain.

The baubles on the nightstand were rattling, even the bed seemed to be shaking as his telekinesis bubbled within him.

He hadn't felt this raw and uncontrolled since he was an adolescent.

He forced himself out of the bed and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to blot out the everything as if that would stop this. Stop him.

He couldn’t.

It wasn’t just him shaking now; he could hear the bed rattling against the wall, the water in the bath splashing. Something fell onto the floor and shattered. He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t.

And then there was a clawed hand on his arm. Tentative; just a brush against his cold skin, but enough to share its warmth.

Aurel shuddered, and with that his telekinesis calmed. The rattling stopped, the House of Hope stood still once more, and Aurel stood there with Wyll hovering inches away.

Aurel stepped away from him. Out, further, onto the balcony. He turned to stare blankly out at the barren landscape of Avernus, at the red mountains on the horizon and the smoke rising in the distance.

I will never see the mountains of my home again.

I will never see my father again.

'It is bad enough that I must spend the rest of my days feeling sorry for myself, but I cannot, will not bring you down with me, Wyll. I will not have you standing by my side out of duty and staring at me while you mourn the man you love. That is no life, not for either of us. So leave; go with Karlach back to Baldur's Gate, grieve me, move on, and let me die here knowing I took as many of Zariel's soldiers with me as I could.'

A shuddering exhale escaped Wyll. He was right there, right behind Aurel. He could feel his breath on his neck, could feel the prickling of his warmth on his back.

"Is that what you want?" Wyll asked, his voice ragged and raw.

Aurel closed his eyes.

'What I want does not matter.'

"It does."

'I cannot have it,' Aurel snapped. 'Don't you see, Wyll? I want you to look at me without shame. I want to be able to walk with you in the sunlight. I want to see my father again, with you by my side. I want...I want to be me again.'

A shaky, rattling exhale escaped through Aurel's teeth as he looked up.

'But I am not. Even polymorphing back into my original body could not change that. I am...I am not him. But I don't know who I am when I'm not him. And I do not think I can ever know.'

This was why mind flayers forgot who they were. This was why partialism was such a taboo to them. No mind flayer would be able to survive this agony.

Aurel almost felt sorry for the Emperor. Deluding himself into believing he was still Balduran, that he was better as a mind flayer, had to be the only way he could survive such a thing.

Ansur really would have done him a mercy if he'd killed him.

A pair of warm arms wrapped around Aurel's middle. He tensed, his breath hitched as Wyll rested his forehead against Aurel's back and squeezed with his arms.

"Why did you go to Mephistopheles' library alone," Wyll murmured.

Aurel trembled.

'Because it was dangerous,' he said. 'Because if I failed, then you and Karlach would still be safe.'

Wyll's breath hitched as he squeezed Aurel.

"That's what I meant," he sighed. "Oh Aurel, I’m not leaving you here.”

‘You must.’

“No.”

Aurel tried to pull away, but Wyll only loosened his grip enough to spin Aurel around - to force them eye to eye while Wyll grabbed his shoulders. His claws dug into Aurel’s skin, and his eye blazed.

“You haven’t changed,” he insisted. “You’re still the same as you were before. I should have known from the moment you agreed to jump with Karlach into Avernus without a thought; you’re still the same man who bargained with Mizora for my soul, who risked a sinking prison for my father…who became a mind flayer to save the world.”

Wyll was crying again. The tears were running freely down his cheeks, spilling onto his tunic. Aurel stared at the dark spots dumbly as his head spun.

“And then you went and stole from Mephistopheles, and you could have just helped yourself but you didn’t. You thought…you thought I didn’t love you as you were and you still thought to save Karlach first.”

Wyll’s claws dug in further as he stared up at Aurel, and he gave his shoulders a firm shake.

“I’m not leaving you to sacrifice yourself to Zariel’s forces,” he said. “You’re the same. You’re the same.”

Aurel wished again to reach out his telepathy, to feel the edges of Wyll’s mind so he might know.

But instead he just nodded his head, and he relished the relieved sob that escaped Wyll.

He wanted to believe this.

Even if it was a lie.

#asks #oc: aurel #aurel x wyll #bg3 oc #bg3 tav #wyll x tav #bg3 spoilers #bg3 fanfiction #wyll ravengard #hi ty so much for sending this in and i'm APPALLED at how long it took me to get to this #it took me. forever to finish this #and it turned out SO much longer than i intended alskdfjds #it became a whole thing. hi.#anyways #i'm still not sure if i consider this particular route 'canon' but. enjoy the angst anyhow <3

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