Dazai Osamu (BSD): a case study of a nihilist turned absurdist

I've talked a bit before about the themes of absurdism within BSD, and I think this plays heavily into Dazai and the personal journey he's gone on throughout the series (light novels included). From my perspective, his character development has followed a shift in ideology, from nihilism to absurdism.

First, I'd like to define how these two philosophies are similar yet different. Nihilism is the belief that life is intrinsically meaningless, and that there's no value to seeking meaning. Absurdism also believes that life has no intrinsic meaning, but states that revolting against the absurdity of existence is the way to create meaning.

While I don't think Dazai 100% fits either category fully at any given point in his life as we've seen it thus far, I think in his PM days he leans more towards a nihilist perspective, and following Oda's death he leans more towards an absurdist perspective.

Dazai's reasoning for joining the PM was because he thought that perhaps being around violence and raw emotions would help him understand humanity, giving him a reason to live. This doesn't sound quite like nihilism, but honestly, I think he gains a more nihilist point of view as time progresses and he realizes that he can't find meaning in the PM. I'm not even sure he believed that there was meaning to find in the first place, he was just desperate to prove himself wrong, and then failed, which really cemented this nihilistic mindset for him.

Friedrich Nietzsche, often regarded as the founding father of nihilism, claimed that nihilism "not only the belief that everything deserves to perish; but one actually puts one shoulder to the plough; one destroys.”

If life doesn't have meaning, then it doesn't matter to Dazai if he destroys. So, he fills a corpse with bullets, he horrifically abuses his subordinate, he actively tries to take his own life.

Nihilism is right in line with his suicidal nature. This isn't to say that all nihilists are inherently suicidal, but when one believes that life has no meaning, it's quite easy to come to the conclusion to kill oneself. I think this mindset really lends to his general depression and suicidal ideation, on top of the fact that he feels generally disconnected from humanity. It's so easy for him to consider himself inhuman because he has this nihilistic point of view that nothing matters and everyone else in society seems so dead set on opposing that worldview.

And then you have Oda. He is the closest thing Dazai gets to finding meaning within the PM. Like Chuuya, this is a person that fascinates Dazai, although his reason for fascination is much different. To Dazai, Oda represents what is good in the world, he thinks that he is a good man, and struggles to reconcile how a good person can come out of an existence so seemingly pointless and horrific.

Then, Oda dies.

It's an absurd occurrence, and to Dazai it only proves that life has no meaning. This is exemplified when Dazai speaks to Fyodor about God in Meursault: "[God] is known for is famous for his coincidences and absurdism, I've seen it countless times," and a flashback to Oda's death is shown. A good man died for seemingly no good reason, and to Dazai, this only proves life's meaningless, because to the universe it didn't matter who Oda was, he died, regardless.

(I quoted the dialogue from the BSD anime English dub because I feel it better suited my argument, but you can see that he's essentially saying the same thing).

This event should have only further cemented Dazai as a hardcore nihilist, but fortunately for him, Oda was able to get a word in before he passed. He told Dazai that as long as he believes the sides of good and bad are the same to him, he should be on the side that helps people. Oda suggests fighting against life's inherent absurdity -- and that's absurdism in a nutshell, revolting against a meaningless universe.

Dazai takes his advice, and within a few years, he's working for the ADA, he's on the side that helps people.

In that same conversation with Fyodor, Dazai speaks further about life's meaning:

"Those who scream within the storm of uncertainty and run with flowing blood." That's absurdism, the rebellion against uncertainty, meaninglessness, absurdity.

While I don't think Dazai is a bona-fide absurdist due to his suicidality (absurdism basically sees suicide as giving into meaninglessness), I think he's on his way there because of moments like this.

I don't think he's totally convinced that life is completely and utterly meaningless anymore. He, at the very least, has a respect for those who forge their own meaning through the act of revolt.

"Man stands face to face with the irrational. He feels within him his longing for happiness and for reason. The absurd is born of this confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world." - Albert Camus

Loid Forger set the standard and he set it high!

Also to note, Loid is te complete opposite of this:

he always regurlary takes his lovely wife out for wonderful dates. Aniversiry or not

He partakes in housework by cooking and occationally doing the laundry. he helps in childcare by helping anya with the homework and always checking up on her.

He always cleans up after himself or guests, even if Yor does the cleaning.

And to top it all off, his mom is dead... why is this making me tear up, it started soo wel.

I'm going to randomly copy and paste some musings I wrote on my private account on Twitter, cause I find it kinda amusing and I want to share it here too :3

"The moon is really beautiful, isn't it?"

"Because it's something about you, Akiho-san."

Kaito's behavior in the special chapter might appear "new" and sudden, but he's actually always been throwing "bombs" at Akiho, exposing his feelings just like it was the most natural and normal thing. 🤭❤️ The only difference is that now he understands what those feelings are 😁

Like, I can totally expect that one day in the future he'll just go "One day, when we'll be married..." completely out of nowhere while they're chatting & having dinner and Akiho will struggle to not choke on her plate 😂😂😂 Yeah, somehow I don't see very flashy kind of proposals from either of them, probably cause they've been through enough "out of ordinary" shit that normal and comforting is what makes their heart beat the fastest, and makes them the happiest ❤️

In this regard, I'll say once again that Kaito totally reminds me of Sakura. The way they can just blurt out their feelings in such a nonchalant, almost naive way, while not fully understanding what they are. Here Sakura is basically doing the same thing Kaito did throughout Clear Card! Saying stuff like that ☝️ and yet not understanding that she was falling in love with him herself. 😁

The nonchalant way in which Sakura and Kaito's feelings surface makes people misunderstand them for "friendship" or common affection, throughout their respective arcs. Like, I can't count how many times I've seen people say they didn't understand when Sakura started to fall in love with Syaoran, and that the realization at the end felt too sudden. It's because, as usual with Clamp, you have to pay attention to what they're NOT spelling out. That's what happened with Kaito too. 🤷‍♀️ People couldn't see that he's been literally spelling out his feelings himself since long time (that's why Momo got mad! Like "how can you say something like that and not REALIZE IT??"), they got sidetracked by the idea he was a villain (and therefore just manipulating and using her), and then by his relationship with Lilie (all stuff Clamp did on purpose, mind you, cause it was too soon for you to be sure of it yet). It's been clear for a long time, but in their Spaces lately CLAMP reiterated how they love to keep their readers guessing and on their toes till the end, so in my opinion they won't hesitate to try to sidetrack you a little bit along the way (but if you stick closely, you'll understand what's the real deal). I guess with Sakura they tried to sidetrack with her crush on Yukito. 😁

So yeah, I've been saying multiple times during the serialization how those two gave me such a similar vibe (and that maybe helped Sakura empathize with him).

Akiho is quite straightforward too, especially after she found her own confidence and voice, but I was just thinking that Syaoran is quite the opposite instead, he's very conscious of his feelings and even in Clear Card, he had to prepare himself days in advance before managing to ask Sakura, stuttering and all, for a date himself 😂 Thankfully, at the end of the special chapter he was able to make his own romantic statements without getting too flustered 😆 (at long last, after 2 years of dating! 😂)

stuff of horrors

Their Dreams 🤍

i wanna hear your thoughts about black lizard <3

S U R E. I love the Black Lizards so much, in my mind they really are the closest to family the pm has. You have these two very dysfunctional traumatized kids made of:

Gin we don't know much about except that they grew up in the mafia and have a brother who literally doesn't know how to express any emotion that isn't raw primordial rage

Tachihara who like. Where do I even start, since childhood had major younger sibling complex™ that evolved into trauma when said brother died in war making him also develop major revenge complex™, was dysfunctional to the point of becoming a thug to cope with his complexes, got caught and recluted by the fucking police that on top of likely body modifications assigned him to be a spy at (makes some very quick calculations) 16, apparently, to the major criminal and most dangerous organization of Yokohama

They both found themselves working in the mafia under pretty similar circumstances, two (by the looks of it) non ability users yet nonetheless exceptionally skilled mafiosi which allowed them to climb the ranks of the pm pretty quickly. Their similar positions and complementary skills made them perfect fit to take part of an accurately schemed, all-comprehensive team that could carry out both long range attacks (Tachihara) and close range assassinations (Gin), accompanied by someone who could fill in anything the other two missed– a pm veteran, powerful ability user with enough experience to handle any escalation, and also pass on his experience to train the next generation of pm high ranks. That's how the Black Lizard was born, a team set up with clinical precision, the perfect cold expression of what the pm is like under Mori. But it was never accounted to be a family! In fact, it probably started off on a rocky start, because what else would you expect by putting together two teens - let's say the Black Lizard was formed about three years after Tachihara joined the pm and one year before the current events, so when both Gin and Tachihara were 18 - who their entire lives never experienced a single interpersonal interaction that wasn't conflictual. Still, somewhat held back from exploding into extreme conflictual outburst by their intimidating senior (who very conveniently is also proficient in handling dysfunctional teens), Gin and Tachihara kind of… Start getting each other. Or at least, start thinking they do. And soon enough their shared experiences and feelings bring them closer than they ever felt with anyone else. Because they're both like, this guy gets it!! They get what it feels like having an older brother that is so distant from you you can't seem to connect with in anyway. They get what it means having to toughen up so to not give any chance to the world to hurt you, what it feels like to hide your soft core. Even despite neither of them being aware of the other's secret identity, that's another thing they have in common and probably got them even closer. I've talked about it before but to me Gin and Tachihara became to each other the brother they always wanted but never had- someone you could take jabs with, share inside jokes, playfully send death threats to - overall, just the warm, genuine and fun feeling of siblinghood compared to the stiff and distant relationship with their older brothers that has hurt them a lot in the past (about that, at this point I truly fail to interpret the Black Lizard scene in chapter 5 any other way. “You're two minutes late” “Creepy ol' Gin's even later than me” “Ever the freak, ain'cha” “Enough, you imbeciles! Or would you prefer to be listed among the casualties?”: in no world the whole conversation between the three of them doesn't sound family-like. I can swear to you the Gin / Tachihara interaction is just the average siblings experience.)

They're so family!!!! They're so family, they make me cry. Chaotic siblings and their exasperated grandpa who loves them very much. The father figure neither of them ever had!! (I mean, Gin never had. Tachihara we can't exactly say, but if anything the little flashback of his family in chapter 73 doesn't look good). I think so much about Hirotsu and Gin specifically, Hirotsu taking Gin under his wing, Gin genuinely holding affection towards him to the point she'd even show herself more vulnerable to him and sincerely treat him as a father; in my headcanon, Hirotsu is the only person in the pm and thus the entirety of Yokohama to know Gin is a girl other than Ryuunosuke, Mori and Kouyou (and Verlaine? How are they related again?).

Idk, in my mind deep deep down Gin is a little more hopeful (or naïve, depends on how you want to see it) compared to Ryuunosuke; not that she trusts people (she doesn't), but she does believe some, very little people can actually be… Good, and well intentioned, which is a low standard but still better than Ryuunosuke believing all people are fundamentally always selfishly fighting for survival and the sorts (actually, I think Ryuunosuke is the exact reason Gin doesn't believe that, because knowing him taught her that even the most ruthless, heartless of people can still hold affection and dedication– and I'm talking about his devotion and utter love for her).

I digress, but you see how they're really this little family. They'd go on family trips and have card games and stay late at night to work on their plan for their next mission and Hirotsu would narrate exaggerated gangster stories to a Tachihara with sparkling eyes and Tachihara would make sure to cook for everyone and make a little more for Ryuunosuke too because one night Gin confessed to him she worries about how little he eats. They're family.

Except they're not. except Gin has her secrets and Tachihara has his secrets and Hirotsu has his secrets nobody can share with the others. And Gin and Tachihara are young and passionate and living the moment, are happy and satisfied with how their lives are now, whereas Hirotsu is highly perceptive and thanks to his sixth sense given from being a pm veteran he can read the signs and he just… Knows something's up with all of them, knows the good times won't last much longer; and yet can't bring himself to voice it because he loves his new subordinates / kids too much and really can't ruin their fleeting happiness, the first time in their lives they feel, more or less consciously, like they finally found a place for them. So it's all so bittersweet and tragic, you see what I mean???

Btw, Gin really doesn't have the slightest idea that Tachihara is a spy. Like, even worse than that, when she'll found out she'll first go through severe denial. She's going to hate him for that, like she never hated anyone before. And Tachihara is going to be so obviously heartbroken!! And it's so sad, because both of them are doomed to lose the closest brothers they ever had– in Tachihara's case, for the second time. It's so tragic.

Chapter 77… Man, chapter 77. Black Lizard is THE pm family, seriously. Just- I don't even know how to describe it: the warm and domestic and familiar feeling to the scene, the image of a family coming together again after having surpassed an hard time, Gin with her guard completely down and so serene, comfortable, ecstatic from the relief that despite all that happened all of them are safe and sound, and nothing else matters. The way Gin and Hirotsu cackle when Tachihara asks them if he's suited for the mafia. For Gin, the idea he isn't is absurd, insane– that's how Tachihara has always been, her mafioso coworker, her partner, friend, brother. For Hirotsu, it's the confirmation of that something is off he's already sensed so many other times; yet, he wants to reassure Tachihara, like a father would do to his son; he wants to keep the family together a little longer, as long as possible, cherish those last little serene moments where they can still be a family. And it's such a gentle, heartbreaking scene, the bittersweet knowledge that Tachihara knows that's the last time the Black Lizard can still be a family, Hirotsu who probably took a good guess on that, Gin being completely oblivious to it. How the image of the wounded bodies of Gin and Hirotsu - his wounds - is going to hunt Tachihara forever. I just love the Black Lizard so much!!! The tragic family who was brought together for one year which is alos probably going to be the only year of happiness the three of them will experience their entire lives which will change all of them profoundly to the point no one will ever be the same after breaking apart really does it for me (╥﹏╥)

Oh my god, I'm writing again. Oh my god, it's not my dissertation 🤡