What kind of memes I think the Bucci gang would send in the group chat

Giorno

He's still figuring humor out, so his memes are either very uncanny valley or they make you feel like you need to ask if he's mentally okay (he is not).

Bruno

Threatening self care reminders and animals being silly, vaguely like your parents using social media on occasion

Abbacchio

Threatening and self-deprecating memes

Mista

Controversial takes and stuff that is true but you shouldn't say it

Narancia

So stupid but fucking hilarious

Fugo

He's still figuring memes out, but they're usually nerdy or aggressive

Was this an excuse to share some of my memes with you? Yes.

Will I do a part 2 if prompted? Yes.

Death and Croissants: A Novel by Ian Moore #Review #Giveaway @PPPress

Death and Croissants: A Novel Humorous Literary Fiction/Amateur Sleuth 1st in Series Setting - France Poisoned Pen Press (March 14, 2023) Paperback ‏ : ‎ 256 pages ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1728270553 ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1728270555 Kindle ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0BGYQZ4K2

Meet Richard Ainsworth: an almost divorced part-time B&B owner, part-time film historian, and full-time self-deprecator. Hoping to continue running his B&B in the quiet Val de Follet, he has no idea of its hidden intrigue, from the mafia to swingers, to the peddling of (il)legal grape seeds. His quiet has flown the coop on a fateful afternoon with a bloody handprint, a missing guest, and one dead Ava Gardner (a beloved hen). Dollycas's Thoughts  This is the first book in the Follett Valley Mystery Series. It features Richard Ainsworth, a middle-aged Englishman living in France and running a small B&B as he goes about living his boring life and he is very happy doing just that. He has a vast knowledge of old Hollywood movies and watching them keeps him entertained. His wife has left him to find a more exciting life which shouldn't be too hard. He stays in touch with his 27-year-old daughter, Alicia, via FaceTime but the conversations are usually pretty short. He also has 3 chickens, Ava Gardner, Lana Turner, and Joan Crawford.  Nothing much exciting happens in his life. Then an elderly guest disappears, leaving behind a pair of glasses and a bloody handprint and a beautiful Italian woman checks in with her dog named Passepartout for an open-ended stay. The woman, Valerie, takes one look at the handprint and easily persuades Richard to join her in investigating the elderly guest's disappearance. From that point on Richard's life is new longer his own and it is far from boring. Mostly dazed and confused he follows Valerie hither and yon to solve the case of the missing guest. Oh, my stars! Ian Moore puts his comedic talents to very good use in a tale that will have you laughing out loud and shaking your head as you read this twisted-up mystery. Laid-back Richard is a feckless individual that gets drawn into a web of mystery complete with the Italian Mafia and nudist swinger B&B owners as femme fatale Valérie d'Orçay drags him deeper and deeper into the world of crime. It is not long before Brigadier-Chef Principal Philippe Bonneval enters their lives along with Chez Bruno and Judge Grandchamps and they find they end up with more questions than answers. I also have to mention Richard's cleaning woman Madame Tablier. She is a hoot! All these characters are cleverly created and intriguing in their own right. Mr. Moore wraps his characters in a madcap mystery with so many secrets, twists, and turns I totally lost count and just hung on tight and enjoyed the ride. I really enjoyed the descriptions of the French countryside and the village of Vauchelles and every other place Richard and Valerie traveled. The people and the food and drink were well described as well. When I started the book I wasn't sure if it was going to be my "cup of tea", and truth be told I had seen some reviews that almost kept me from reading it, but I couldn't stop reading,  Death and Croissants had it all. A lighthearted mystery, quirky characters, laugh-out-loud funny, and unbelievably crazy situations, along with a few chickens.  I escaped right into this story and I was delightfully entertained. Now I hope we don't have to wait too long for the series to continue but I don't know how the author would top this story.

About the Author  Best-Selling author Ian Moore is also a stand-up comedian and conference host in the UK, and husband, father of three boys, farmhand, chutney-maker, and Basil Fawlty impersonator in France. Since doing less stand-up, he's stopped taking himself so seriously. Death and Croissants is the first book in the Follett Valley Mystery Series.

Thanks to the publisher I have 1 copy to give away! The contest is open to anyone over 18 years old with a US or Canadian mailing address. Duplicate entries will be deleted. Void where prohibited. You do not have to be a follower to enter but I hope you will find something you like here and become a follower. Followers Will Receive 2 Bonus Entries For Each Way They Follow. Plus 2 Bonus Entries For Following My Facebook Fan Page. Add this book to your WANT TO READ shelf on GoodReads for 3 Bonus Entries. Follow Poisoned Pen Press on Twitter for 2 Bonus Entries! Pin this giveaway to Pinterest for 3 Bonus Entries. If you share the giveaway on Twitter or Facebook or anywhere you will receive 5 Bonus Entries For Each Link. The  Contest Will End April 13, 2023, at 11:59 PM CST The Winner Will Be Chosen By Random.org The Winner Will Be Notified By Email and Will Be Posted Here In The Sidebar. Click Here For Entry Form  Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Receiving a complimentary copy in no way reflected my review of this book. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”                                      Read the full article

Alma: Tonight we can’t have any more problems!

Bruno: Oooooohhhhh. So THAT’s why you let dad die

Alma:

Pepa:

Julieta: (gasps)

Bruno:

Alma:

Pepa:

Julieta:

Bruno: Get it? Cause I’m the youngest… and a problem? Couldn’t risk having TWO Brunos running around

Alma: I’m starting to believe you might be right…

Julieta: Mama!

I just got back from watching Disney Encanto and I have some ✨headcanons✨ tw: self harm

Listen; if I was Dolores and I had to spend the last years hearing my uncle live in the god damn wall of my house I would be dang confused and also piss off.

When it’s nighttime and Dolores hears Bruno muttering and knocking, it’s hard for her to sleep. And when your from a family that has emotional issues and bottle things up, it comes out

Dolores will sometimes bang on the wall, quietly, whispering threats “Bruno if you don’t shut Up i swear I WILL go find you and hit you” her threats are empty but she still makes them when she’s tired

When she was younger she try to tell parents, and the other grownup about Bruno, no one believe her and her parents would make her stop talking about Bruno

Around breakfast and dinner time she can hear Bruno so she sometimes leaves food for him and his rats.

When it to loud and Dolores gets overstimulated, she goes to a quite part of the house and tries to relax and calm down. She sadly doesn’t have any headphones but she uses pillows to cover her ears and sleeps with a heavy blanket.

Even though Dolores can hear everything, she don’t like complete silence, sometimes she would go outside and listen to natural or she’ll hum. White noise.

Bruno kind of knows that Dolores know he there, he don’t come out that much, when he does it usually to get food. One night during a heavy rainstorm Dolores can’t sleep so Bruno ends up in Dolores’s room and he just sits near her, telling her stories from his childhood or fairytales.

Both Bruno and Luisa have negative self thoughts, while Luisa is more positive and trying to get better, she keeps burning herself out and overworks, and if she mess up she either cries or tell herself that she’s worthless and physically hurts herself. (Pitching, pulling, punching, biting)

Bruno on the other hand mostly talk negative about himself, he self deprecating himself through humor (calling himself creepy, weird, odd), it doesn’t help that he has his rituals (I headcanon him having autism, OCD, dissociate, and depression) he’s also has minor agoraphobia.

During his teens I feel like Bruno really internalize what people were saying about him. He feel weak compared to his sisters and felt outcasted, it didn’t help that he was the only male at the time and people expected him to be a leader or physically strong.

Because of how everyone treated him I think has problems with eating (in the movie he gives his food to the rats and I didn’t see him eat) and well as self harm. The scars he has are around his upper arms and shoulders, but also on his torsos. I feel like during a low low moment he try to physically remove his eyes to get rid of his power. Julieta found and stopped him. In a panic Bruno threat to cursedJulieta if she told anyone about what she saw.

That’s all the headcanon I have for now!

Hi! I've been watching Brooklyn 9-9 and I just had a thought: a detective!reader who's like Jake Peralta 80-90% of the time (and who's also a stand-user) with Bruno. Maybe reader helped him when he was injured but didn't know that he's a part of mafia but then boom, they meet again when reader went undercover maybe, so reader is just ":0!!!" Sorry if it's weird, have a nice day/night!

|| so sorry this took so long ! i tried to watch some Jake Peralta scenes to help me since i haven’t watched Brooklyn 99 before but i didn’t really capture his character at all. the mood of this story is like. entirely different from the request and i didn’t add the stand user part bc i forgot- sorry!  it was meant to be better but somehow my tab deleted with my first version of the story. :,) honestly i’d be happy to try again for a more light hearted story if you want to request again!

Bruno Bucciarati | Second Meetings

“Truth be told, I never wanted us meeting like this,” he confessed, wine glass in hand while he purposefully turned it in circular motions to watch the red liquid swirl. It was like you - rouge lips, red dress and the perfect pair of heels to match.

“Honestly, I didn’t think we’d meet again.” You laughed softly, your own wine glass empty and placed on the balcony’s fence. The moon was full and the night was far from cloudy. A perfect excuse not to look at him, not yet at least. Let it all sink in first.

You had waited endless days, months and almost a year to be given an assignment as important as this; the amount pleading and begging you had done was unmeasurable. Of course this is what you wanted, ever since you become an official rookie cop. No - ever since you were old enough to realise the truths of the country you lived in.

Here, the weak are preyed on and the wealthy get away with it all. Street thugs to Mafia members go unpunished while others suffer for their wrong doings, and it’s the furthest thing from fair. That’s why you committed not only your heart but every moment of your life training to become the person you are now, a police officer who can at the very least help a town become a safer place for everyone who lives in it and visits.

Still, you never expected to be in a situation like this.

When you had asked your boss to give you a more important task outside of street patrol and parking ticket duty, you were expecting to be sent to do arrests and investigate some crime scenes, but you were sent on the cheesiest mission in the world. None of your coworkers even expected it, seeing you - the woman who sent the whole station into a riot on your first day just by cracking a couple of jokes - in a dress that showed more than what a modest person could imagine.

The plan was to investigate the members attending a party that only the ‘underground’ members of society could attend, try to overhear any plans, find out the statuses of some mafioso’s and if you were lucky, talk to a Capo. Gain their trust and let them have something slip. You just had to be careful they you weren’t found out and killed. They were the sort of men and women who were merciless when outsiders tried to interfere with their business and you being a cop wouldn’t help at all.

When you entered the party hall, well decorated and filled, you instantly knew this was going to be harder than it initially seemed. ‘There’s no way I could find out anything just by asking questions, it’s too suspicious. I’ll just drink and blend in until I can strike up casual conversation,’ you explained to yourself as you approached a silk covered table, glasses filled with all sorts of beverages on top.

Wine seemed like a good choice, you weren't much of a drinker at all but whatever calmed the nerves! If it did at all. Again, you weren’t much of a drinker. You threw your head back as your lips pressed against the rim of the glass and downed all of what the glass contained in seconds - the flavour barely hitting your tongue and the drink simply running down your throat. Something fizzy was definitely better.

A low, impressed whistle was then let out, followed with a few claps and a voice, “impressive. I can’t say I’ve seen anyone here finish a drink as fast as you have!”

That was the start of leading you to your current predicament.

“You still have that middle aged woman hair cut I see.” Light teasing, nothing truly offensive and even he chuckled a little, head shaking at your comment. You had described it just like that when you first met, insulting him at first until you apologised sincerely and cracked some self deprecating joke about your own messy hair.

His lips held onto the rim of the glass and slowly the wine was disappearing. He seemed calm and relaxed but even he would be a bit on edge in a situation like this.

Bruno knew you were a cop, a truly good hearted one at that, you had told him about it the day you met and proved it through your conversation and actions alone. That was the problem however, being a police officer while he was the Capo you were looking for. It was a tragedy you two met again like this, and he knew you couldn’t leave this place without something to help the police force. You just had to help others in some way. He didn’t know many people who would help him out in a situation like the last.

It must have been a month ago, more or less, and he had fallen by your doorstep due to exhaustion from who knows what; he never told you after all. You never asked questions though. When he awakened, you can imagine his surprise to find himself in a stranger’s home with a woman only feet away, humming to herself as she prepared a meal. That was one of the more noticeable things about your home, how close everything was together.

“Where am I?” He asked out loud, knowing that keeping a level head would be the better option instead of panicking right off that bat. Thankfully, it had caught your attention and you rushed to his side immediately, checking to see if he was alright before explaining to him how he had passed out in front of your home. It was confusing but the pieces came together quickly. Right before blacking out, Bruno was going against a stand user who was trying to climb the ranks of the mafia and though he had succeeded in winning, the exhaustion of the battle had gotten to him too quick to comprehend.

“Name’s [F/N] by the way, I’m a cop so don’t worry about me doing anything shifty while you were asleep! Your outfit’s a bit too whack to touch anyways.”

It was just his luck that a police officer was the one who had helped him.

Still, he was grateful and even more so when you started offering him the food you were making.

“I’m Bruno, a pleasure Miss [F/N].” Better not use last names.

When you parted ways, you jokingly pouted at him, “need to go so soon? I was just about to get used to you being my new room mate, bob cut.”

“How sweet you of, perhaps I’ll be seeing you later,” he laughed, detesting the nickname while simultaneously appreciating your light-hearted and humorous nature.

“I hope that’s more of a promise than a farewell!”

Luck wasn’t kind to him again. Seeing you here like this was a curse, a mistake, anything that he could easily say was the cause of the small break in his heart. It was wrong to even feel that pain, you didn’t deserve a gangsta. Not when you were so purely justice driven.

“So you really are a capo, hm?” You didn't sound angry nor disgusted. More detached if anything, which you were. You wanted to let go of this reality and assume this was a dream mixed with a nightmare.

Now two empty glasses resided on the balcony, along with two young adults who just didn’t know where to go from here, Bruno only nodding in response to your question.

A small sigh left your lips, shaky from either the cold whipping against your exposed skin to which you tried to cover by crossing your arms, or from the nerves. “You’re not going to um-“ Noticing your shivering, Bruno had moved closer beside you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer towards him so that he could shield you from the wind. Not entirely effective but the gesture threw you off from the horrific question you were going to ask.

He answered anyways. “Kill you? No, no, I don’t even think about hurting those you don’t deserve it. [F/N], you’re a good person. A sweet one who shouldn’t be risking herself by coming here and yet you have. I respect you far more than I show - you have to leave soon before someone notices you.”

You shook your head in response to that. You couldn’t leave! Not yet, not when you barely had any information to report. You had gotten this far, you just had to find something good, something worth knowing. “Bruno I can’t! I have to stay, just for a bit longer!”

“And risk someone finding you out?” He sounded harsh, just for a second. He softened once he noticed your worry. “I’m sorry, but you can’t just risk yourself like that. I’m going to get you out of here.”

“Bruno…”

“If it helps. Some people have been talking about terrorising the main street in a week’s time. Scare off the locals and rob what they can before anyone tries to stop them so,”

“Beef up the patrol there and we should be good,” you finished for him. It wasn’t exactly ‘take down the mafia’ intel but the fact you were alive was a miracle. “Thank you. I- I’m glad there’s at least some good in gangs, even if you seem like you’d be a better cop.” Your smile was thanks enough to him. How unfair of the moon to highlight your face like an angel’s when he should be telling it ‘goodbye.’

“Call us even, for last time.” His arm around your shoulders then lowered to be around your waist, guiding you away from the balcony and back inside, voice much lower now. “Let’s get you out of here now, if anyone asks I’ll just say you were my date who had to leave early.”

You giggled at that, “your ‘date’?”

“Hey, it makes for a good story. Plus, it makes me look good too, having a beauty like you on my side.”

Neither of you should be joking like this, the attachment was wrong. It wasn’t stopping you though, the two of you continuing to chortle at each other’s words. Quipping back, you teased him, “I don’t know if they’ll know which of us is meant to be the woman here, bob cut.”

When you were by the exit, you two made the mistake of looking into each other’s eyes, you taking a moment to appreciate his blue orbs and him doing the same with your own.

Pulling away from each other’s gaze was harder than you thought it would be. You tried to play it off by snapping your head to the side and faked a cough. “So I guess it’s goodbye again now, right?”

Bruno was looking elsewhere too. He seemed more interested in a potted plant or the wall when really he could only think of you. “Well, for now maybe. If we’re lucky, I’ll be seeing you soon.”

Was this excitement? Compose yourself, [F/N]! You were still on the job. “Make it next Friday soon, you know where to find me.” So much for composure, you were smiling.

“It’s a date.”

Risotto and Abbacchio get along great. Risotto encourages him to use less self deprecating humor and Abbacchio does ((for a little bit)). They both gush ((but in the most monotone expressionless way)) about how great their boyfriends are.

nsfsjsbg Risotto reveals how much of a softie Prosciutto actually is behind closed doors and how much he worries about the teams wellbeing and Abbacchio chimes in that Bruno is the same way. The see how those two were together in the past lol 

I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT UR SELF-INSERT/OC CUZ CUTE CAT THEY'RE INTERESTING AS HELL

Thank you so much for asking ; ;

My OC is literally me, so she's not that interesting ; ; I use this universe to escape from reality, so I need this type of self insert, I guess ahahahah.

She got accidentally involved with the Bucci Gang (modern day AU, everybody lived, +12 years after Giorno's takeover) while working as a librarian/teacher, because of an ancient artifact forged in meteorite metal that awakened her Stand.

Her Stand is called Negura Bunget (I wanted to celebrate my Romanian roots) and she can create portals through the shadows, allowing her to move wherever there is shadow within the fraction of a second. Her Stand lives in "The country beyond the Fog" (Tara dincolo de Negura, a song by Negura Bunget), where time moves differently. This becomes relevant after Negura Bunget Requiem is awakened (in regard to the artifact). Negura is shy. I imagine her to be entirely black and she has a serpent tail instead of legs. Her three fingered hands end in sharp talons.

Ombra is her nickname. She is cold and bitchy at first glance, quite intimidating - especially to men - because of her Eastern European permanent RBF™. She cares about her appearance, especially her super long hair and makeup. She is hyperfeminine most of the time. She seems stoic and collected, elegant even. Once you get to know her, she has the dumbest sense of humor and is extremely self-deprecating. She despises Passione, because she holds strong ethical beliefs, that are not compatible with the mob. She isn't scared to tell Giorno to his face that she despises what he does. She doesn't treat him with the respect a Don usually gets from his underdogs. Her resilience and self-restraint are her strongest qualities, but they often lead her to close up in her shell and face her challenges alone. Deep down, she is soft and likes to help people. She has a fucked up attachment style, which leads her to want to heal other people to the point of ignoring her own needs, but she also refuses any help from others. Independent to a fault. She pushes people away, because she fears abandonment :')

She calls Abbacchio a pig to his face, but they are besties. She has a soft spot for Bruno and would die to give him a hug, because he looks like he deserves one, but she is scared of violating his boundaries. She works with Fugo on the artifact and she respects his intelligence, but rolls her eyes at his arrogance and temper tantrums. She is like a mother figure to Narancia. She always corrects his grammar and tries to teach him new things. Having worked as a teacher, she is extremely patient, unlike Fugo.