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#BUT MY BRAIN IS GETTING STUCK EVERY TIME I TRY
odditycollector · 1 day
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Good news everyone I have accidentally discovered the stupidest fucking conceivable way to make myself to do chores
It goes like this…..
-
My car: *low gas light on*
Me: I mean, I COULD stop at the gas station on the way home… OR! I could just NOT do that and deal with it tomorrow
Me: but what if I get stuck in a time loop starting tomorrow and every day I wake up and my car is on empty that would be so annoying
Me: uggghhh FINE I will stop at the gas station.
****LATER THIS EVENING:****
My sink: *has all my bowls and tea mugs in it*
Me: okay I don't actually care about this problem for tonight I am not planning on eating soup or tea
Me: …yeah but if i do end up being stuck in a time loop starting tomorrow it is going to SUCK to have only dirty tea cups in the morning forever
Me: uuuuughhhh okay clean sink it is
-
I hate this. My brain must have an extremely low opinion of me to even try it, and it worked.
But hey, I don't have to try to remember to leave 5 min early tomorrow for a gas run?
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all-purpose-dish-soap · 11 hours
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I don't think you understand
The mer price fic is absolute perfection.
Like I'm talking a literal masterpiece
This fic will stay engraved in my brain forever. You're an absolutely amazing writer. Thank you ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
anon, THANK you. i am actually thrilled to see other people enjoying mer Price and remora reader as much as i do. please please please let me brain dump more about Price taking remora reader back to his home reef to meet the rest of shark mer 141:
SOAP is enamored instantly because you're so fucking grabbable.
within moments of seeing you peek out from behind Price's tail, he darts around and snatches you up with greedy hands. you're so small!! so tiny and cute when you squirm. and you make noises. 
he handles you like a toy until Price barks at him to cut it out. he does (and Price makes him promise not to be so rough with you; you're fragile, he claims) but Soap is incorrigible.
he follows you for days afterward. just obsessed. he loves chasing your silver tail as you dart around the reef, trying to hide from him. when he catches up to you, you have little choice but to give in and let him manhandle you. he certainly toes the line of whatever Price meant when he said no rough play, you little shit, i mean it.
he pushes the limits of your docile nature. when you do eventually reach the end of your patience and dart out of his hands just to get a break from his grabby claws, guess what? you've triggered his prey drive and he gives chase. he catches you, of course, and then before he can stop himself, he bites you.
your squeal brings Price out into the open instantly and Soap gets an earful again. he grins at you the whole time as you hide over Price's shoulder.
after that, Soap gets a little craftier about it. he eases up just enough to figure out exactly how playful (rough) he can be before you can't take any more. he learns how to stop just shy of making you shriek again. Price is aware, but he's a little too indulgent to stop it. he's happy to let Soap have his fun as long as he doesn't break you. you just have to suck it up. that indulgent nature is how you ended up with Price in the first place, after all.
goes without saying, but Soap is the first one to use you as a sex toy.
GHOST seems to take zero interest in you at first. you're not the sharpest urchin in the tide pool, are you? you can't be if you're here willingly. he figures you won't stick around long, and if you do, you won't stay intact.
you attempt to take up grooming his skin and tail and teeth as you do with the others. he moves away from you without a word, lashing his scarred tail to re-settle himself several feet away.
if you follow and try to groom him again, you earn a deep growl.
you dart off the moment he voices that rumbling displeasure. he notes your skittishness around him and uses it to make you leave him alone.
you, however, have a job to do. you won't be scared off that easily.
after he chases you off that way a few times, you begin to find him and simply sit near him. mirroring him. no big deal. instead of grooming him, you use the time to groom yourself. can't keep everyone else clean if you're grimy, after all.
he notices you and growls to warn you off again. you pretend not to hear.
he flicks his tail in irritation, considers cuffing you over the head to teach you a lesson, but you're too far away to reach without kicking his whole big self up into the water to move several feet. so he elects instead to turn over and ignore you. you keep this up for several days. you sit a little closer every time.
one day, you finish cleaning your own tail fin and casually begin to clean his. he growls. you pause. when he stops and does nothing further, you resume your work. he growls again, and you continue grooming him as if you don't hear him. he keeps growling, but once you begin to run your claws over a stubborn patch of skin to dislodge some stuck grit that's been bothering him, his growling fades into grumbling. and then silence. he lets you keep at it. victory.
this becomes a habit. you seek him out (never the other way around) and typically find him lazing on the floor of some cave or sunning in the reef's shallows. you set to work grooming him thoroughly. all business. he grumbles and growls occasionally when you move his arm or tug your fingers through his hair, but he never stops you.
one day, Soap comes looking for you and finds you in the middle of this little cleaning ritual. Soap nudges you away, insisting you instead let him chase you around the reef. but the moment your hands leave Ghost's rough skin and he hears you protest, he opens his eyes and snaps his teeth at Soap.
Soap pulls back (and so do you) until Ghost grasps your lil wrist and drags you back down wordlessly to where you were sitting and cleaning his shoulder.
Soap smirks at him. Ghost glares back.
"you got something to say, then say it."
"here i thought you were toleratin' it for her sake. seems i misjudged the situation."
"there is no situation."
"whatever you say."
Soap leaves with a flick of his tail. you're so pleased that, when you're finished grooming Ghost, you burrow yourself between his arms as he lays on his side. you nuzzle into his neck and bunt your head up against him, practically purring now that you know you've apparently won him over.
he grabs you, pretending to be disgruntled, but then instead of releasing you he crushes you against his chest again and settles in for a nap. no, you don't get to leave.
GAZ wonders what exactly is going on inside your head. it doesn't escape his notice that your """instincts""" seem to have you by the throat in this situation. but he suspects you're leaning a bit more into that whole brainless servant thing than you're letting on.
he's perfectly happy to let you groom him, flatter him, fetch him whatever baubles or snacks he'd like at the moment; he's perfectly polite to you, too. really likes it when you butter him up. tell him he's got the sharpest teeth and the strongest muscles and the fastest tail in the reef and he'll listen to you for hours, preening in the sunlight as you clean the grime off his fins.
plus, he praises you too, and you love that. that's why it takes you so long to notice he's watching you much more closely than anyone else is.
see, you've already disarmed Price. Soap sees you as a toy more than a fellow mer. Ghost cares more about finding the best places to lurk around than understanding the little mer that shares their reef now. it's fascinating--how you've successfully passed yourself off as a silly, stupid little fish. the more he watches you, analyzes you, the more he wonders what exactly you're getting out of this.
when you groom him each day, he asks you questions. casual ones. are you enjoying the reef? what games do you like to play? how fast can you swim? how many other mer have you met? are you eating enough? what's your favorite food?
it's enough to make you wary, but then, he seems harmless. you're honest with him. it pays off, because when you tell him how much you like the taste of those little brown seabirds that dip into the reef from time to time, you're shocked the next day to find one of those very seabirds sitting dead--neck cleanly snapped--just for you in the shallow alcove next to where Price sleeps (and you by extension).
you find Gaz that instant and insist it's too kind a gift; you can't accept it. what you can't tell him is that it's not a good idea for you to eat in front of them. you eat scraps, and you eat them where of them can see. that's the deal--obviously you do what you do for these four sharks in exchange for protection and ostensibly for food, but you need to avoid looking like you're taking more than your fair share. and to sharks, a species that is notoriously food-aggressive, your fair share must be vanishingly small.
he just smiles at you--so disarmingly that you flounder for a moment. somehow he convinces you to keep the kill.
he begins to turn up--looking amused but not surprised--when you steal scraps of food after the group has had its fill of a fresh kill. it makes you nervous for him to see you with food in hand (much less to watch you eat) but he scoffs at the idea of holding it against you. 
at some point, he begins to bring you fresh meat himself. this is-- it's unacceptable. you're supposed to be the one working while he rests. he's not allowed to give you that kind of comfort. if you're not earning your keep, after all, you don't have a place here. you push his gifts away, busying yourself with some other task. he insists. you decline.
"you're refusing me?" he asks, feigning surprise. "i thought that went against your instincts."
you fluster, ruffling up in what he assumes is a pout. he's trapped you in a catch-22. ultimately, you have to accept the stupid meat-gift because it's what he wants. you find this makes you more irritable than it should. he smirks at you, which serves to irritate you more.
he pulls you into his lap as you eat. and he thinks it's so cute the way you scowl the whole time.
from then on, whenever you act a little too stupid for his liking, he pries and pokes and prods until he draws out that other, haughtier side of you. he has a knack for frustrating you. he loves to sass you, and when you finally drop the act and sass him back, he falls a little bit more in love with you every time.
...
more mer au / masterlist tag
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chaconnehoonie · 2 days
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Obsession-(follow up) L.HS
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✶ Heeseung X Fem! Reader
->This is a follow up to the first part, but you may read it alone if you please, reading the first part is just recommended to get the full story.
Synopsis- Your relationship with Heeseung proves that sometimes you’re forced to make commitments and sacrifices for those you love.
WC: 3.4k
Warnings: toxic relationship, cursing, insecurity, derogatory terms, smut, angst
Smut warnings: dub-con(?), oral(m) somnophilia, kissing, unprotected sex, spanking, rough sex, orgasm denial
A/N: I know I posted the first part to this a while ago but I felt so disappointed with it that I wanted to write something to follow up with. I’m also terrible with my writing schedule so hopefully this will get me back in the game, enjoy!
This is fiction and the scenarios are completely fake and from my brain, none of the characters are like this in real life, MDNI!
Heeseung was trying to be a good boyfriend. Sure, there are moments where he frustrates you or makes you question your relationship. But relationships are all about making commitments, right?
You’re committed to Heeseung- of course you’ll do whatever it takes to be with him. You’ll put up with his mood swings or his trust issues, accepting that he may just be a naturally jealous person.
He makes it hard, though, as he’s too jealous sometimes. He always has trouble believing you only have eyes for him, whether it’s when a stranger is checking you out at a party or you’re being too close for his liking with your best friends—who just so happen to be guys.
God, you love your friends, but it’s clear that Heeseung doesn’t. You don’t expect him to, of course, however you expect him to accept your close bonds with all three of them. They were existent in your life before him, after all.
You can’t bring this up around him though, as he gets quiet each time, stuck in his thoughts and fears of you leaving him. Being the understanding girlfriend you are, you decided to show him just how special he is to you.
✶.
Heeseung sits alone on the couch in your living room, mindlessly scrolling through Netflix in search for new movies or series to start. Since the beginning of your relationship, you both decided on having movie nights every Friday; cuddling up on the couch together with a warm blanket and a plethora of snacks.
You haven’t come home yet, sending him a quick message to let him know you’d be stopping by a grocery store for snacks, then you’ll speed home to see him.
He sits there and waits, grabbing a bag of chips to munch on, watches trailers for new horror movies with stupid plots and terrible actors, then waits some more.
What’s taking you so long? It’s not like you would stand him up, it’s not like you can stand him up—he’s in your house, anyways. Maybe the checkout line is taking too long. Maybe you stopped to buy some alcohol too, or what if that’s what you were planning but forgot your ID in the car?
What if he’s actually going the wrong rout and you had gotten into an accident? Or decided you didn’t like him anymore and wanted to sneak off with someone else before seeing him tonight- “Baby?”
Heeseung jumps at the sound of your voice, quickly turning around to see you shutting the front door, hanging your keys and slipping off your shoes. He had been so caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t even hear the front door opening.
Your face holds a concerned look, rounding the couch and placing your bags next to Heeseung before dropping to your knees in front of him. “You okay? What happened?” Your hands gently caressed his knees in hopes to comfort him, knowing he’s a sucker for physical touch.
He only shakes his head and pulls you to sit next to him. “Nothing, pretty. I just really missed you.” His voice sounds unsure, but you decided to accept his answer, knowing he hates being pushed to open up.
“I missed you too, cutie. I actually bought something I want to show you.” You peck his nose and his eyes light up in excitement. “I need to go prepare it in my room, but I’ll be back out before you know it.” You smile at him and he nods quickly. “I have to use the bathroom anyways. Perfect timing, I guess.”
You place a soft kiss on his upper lip before grabbing one of your bags and rushing upstairs while Heeseung makes his way to the bathroom. He takes a long look at himself, analyzing his features and taking note of how much better he’s been looking since he’s gotten with you. He’s taken care of himself more, focusing on eating healthier and getting haircuts more often, as well as doing some skincare and shaving his facial hair.
He really feels better with you, smiling to himself in the mirror when he realizes that he’s truly in love with you. He loves you—and he hopes you feel the same way.
After flushing the toilet and leaving the tap running for a minute, Heeseung makes his way out of the bathroom, pausing when he sees you wrapped up in your blanket, waiting for him on the couch.
Walking up hesitantly, he smiles anxiously at you. “What did you wanna-“ he’s cut off when you throw the blanket off of yourself, sat prettily with the most delicate lingerie adorning your body.
Black lace cups your breasts with thin straps hardly covering your shoulders, matching black lace panties sitting high and tight on your hips as the fat of your hips and butt jut out around the material.
Heeseung stands in front of you stiffly, mouth hung open and eyes locked on your figure. Siting up, you reach a hand towards his face and place it under his chin, gently forcing his jaw shut.
“Do you like it?” Your voice is soft and sultry, provoking him to finally touch you. He strokes your head, feeling your soft hair under his fingertips. He’s so in love with you— just that touch sends blood straight to the weight between his legs and he’s suddenly too weak to stand.
Sitting on the couch, he pulls you onto his lap without breaking eye contact. “I’ll take that as a yes.” You giggle and cup his cheek, pulling him into a kiss that only lasts a second as he’s murmuring against your lips. “Yes- fuck, yes.”
You gasp when he pinches one of your nipples through your thin lacy bra. Pushing his tongue into your mouth, he plays with your own in a mess of drool and moans, all while rocking your hips against his.
He pulls away to moan loudly, resting his head on the back of the couch. “I’m glad you like it.” You kiss his neck, licking his jaw slowly before sucking a mark into his skin.
“The boys helped me pick it out.”
His eyes shoot open at this, quickly sitting up and looking you in the eyes. “The boys?” He furrows his brows, confused, but also hurt. You let the boys-Jake, Jay, and Sunghoon, not only see you in lingerie but pick it out? For your boyfriend to see later on?
“What do you mean they helped you pick it out? Like you went to the store together and let them chose it? They seen you in it?” He sounds like he’s going to cry, voice cracking but there’s also a hint of anger.
You nod, eyes wide and worried. “Well, yes. I asked for their opinions because they’re also guys, you know? I thought that’d be the best way to figure out what you’d like…” you trail off as you take note of the irritation appearing on his face.
He finds no point in complaining, no reason to explain why he’s so hurt. Instead, he pushes you off of his lap rather harshly and you land on the soft cushions with a quiet ‘oof’. Of course he didn’t mean to be so aggressive, but with the way he stomps to the front door and angrily grabs his keys, slamming the door shut as he leaves, you can’t help but tear up at his angry demeanor.
Was he really that upset? Over your friends helping pick out a gift, for him? Sure, maybe you didn’t have to wear the lingerie while showing them but Heeseung should know by now that your relationship with your friends is nothing more than platonic.
Deciding you’re too heart broken after being left so alone and exposed, you head to bed early. Well, not exactly early if 11pm was anything to go by, definitely too late for Heeseung to randomly leave and expect you not to worry, but early enough for you to sleep off the mental pain and end up in a better mood in the morning.
✶.
You wake up as an odd weight hits your cheek, repeatedly tapping on your face as you feel the warmth radiating onto your skin. Your eyes open slowly, blinking a few times to fully wake yourself up.
It’s still dark, but you can make out the silhouette of someone standing uncomfortably close to you. Taking in a sharp breath, you turn to your alarm clock and note that it’s around 2am, quickly reaching to turn on the bedside lamp.
The light flickers on and Heeseung groans, quickly reaching his own hand to switch it back off. While he does that, you notice the way he’s fully clothed, save for his hard-on that’s currently face-to-face with you, peeking out from above his sweatpants.
“What-“ you’re cut off as he places a finger upon your lips, slipping it between them and into your mouth to tug your jaw open. You can’t tell what he’s doing with the lights off, but you don’t wonder for long as you suddenly feel his tip entering your mouth, sliding against your tongue.
You’re stiff, laying there in shock as he uses your mouth for his own pleasure, biting his lip with a groan. Heeseung has grown to be more comfortable around you, no longer trying to impress you in order to get you to like him, yet instead trying to impress you to get you to keep liking him—always outdoing himself to prove he’s worth your love.
However, he’s still shy at times, especially intimate times, so seeing him fully take control of you, take advantage of your sleeping figure, is new to you. It’s kind of arousing, but after what happened earlier you just can’t get yourself to enjoy it.
Especially with the way he grips the back of your head and shoves himself fully into your throat, holding you there until you gag and drool onto the ground. The position is awkward; he’s standing in front of you while you’re laying on your side, head hovering off the bed just enough to miss the sheets as your spit strings onto the wooden floor.
He lets out a deep moan, mumbling to himself about how wet and warm your mouth is, but not directly speaking to you. How could he speak to you after what you pulled earlier? Why would you deserve praise for going out and prancing around like that with your friends, basically slutting yourself out for them?
What you do deserve is the harsh thrusts of his hips as he fucks your mouth, pulling your hair harshly as he keeps your head in place while his cock suffocates you. You try to breathe through your nose, but you only choke and whine around him as tears blur your vision, not like you can see much in the dark, anyways.
He groans louder, thrusts harder, grips harder, all while you lay there and take it. He lets out a particularly loud moan as he pulls your head towards him, shoving your face far enough to touch your nose to his pubic bone, and then he’s cumming down your throat.
His hips are still as he twirls strands of your hair between his fingers, holding you in place as his release fills your mouth.
Finally pulling out, he breathes heavily before stuffing himself back into his sweats. He makes his way to the bathroom, situating himself before coming back to bed and wrapping an arm around you, pulling you close enough to be his little spoon. It confuses you, but you’d rather have this than have him stay angry at you.
“Thank you, pretty.”
✶.
The next day goes by smoothly, Heeseung acts completely normal when he goes to work for a couple hours, then coming home as you prepare lunch.
You’re glad he has work early enough for him to be done by the afternoon, but sometimes you wish he could stay in bed with you just a little longer than leaving at 5am, but at least he gets to come back at 1pm and spend the rest of the day how he pleases. You quickly learn though, that today he decides to use the day as he pleases by pleasing himself.
As you put ramen to boil and chop vegetables, humming a random song to yourself, you hear the front door shut. It doesn’t slam, so you know Heeseung isn’t angry, at least not enough to show it.
He walks up behind you, grabbing onto your waist and you smile, turning around for a kiss. He grips your chin, turning your face back to the counter and speaks lowly in your ear. “Keep chopping.” His voice is stern and you know he’s serious.
You hesitantly pick up the knife again, slowly cutting the vegetables as he pulls down your pants, panties going along with them, leaving you bare and exposed for him. It was only last night he was using you for himself, maybe he’s repaying the favor?
That idea is quickly shut down as you feel his tip prodding at your not very wet entrance, wincing at the stretch of the head doing its best to make its way between your folds. Of course you’ve both have had sex without foreplay before, but that was after a while of kissing and obvious arousal.
This time, he fills you up dry with only his precum coating your walls. You whine at the pain, stepping closer to the counter in an attempt to get away from him, but he only manhandles you back towards him.
Pulling out to the tip, he gives you a second to breathe before he pushes himself all the way back in, continuing with rough thrusts. He lands a loud slap to your ass, leaning forward and biting onto your shoulder. You cry out in pain, trying to take his cock the best you can while he uses you once again.
He’s fucking you, skin to skin, so that must mean he’s not upset anymore. You try to convince yourself as he thrusts harder, hands bruising your waist and hips as his knuckles turn white from holding you so tight.
He’s more vocal this time, moaning into your ear as you bounce between him and the counter top, knife now laying further away from you and vegetables roll off the counter, landing with a hard thud on the floor.
You moan as he picks up the pace almost inhumanly fast, wet sounds showing signs that you’re finally aroused enough, the slide of his cock against your walls is no longer painful.
He pushes your upper half forward more, fully bending you over the counter as he lands a harsh slap against your ass, echoing through the kitchen along with your high pitched moans.
His thighs slap against the back of your own, wet and covered in slick as you can’t hold back the squelching noises your pussy makes while being stuffed full.
“Oh God, Hee…” You whine but he’s tired of hearing you, placing his palm over your mouth to muffle your moans. “I don’t wanna hear it.” This confuses you, mainly because he’s always loved hearing your noises—proof that he’s pleasing you right. But now, he suddenly doesn’t want to hear them? Going as far as covering your mouth to shut you up?
Even with this hurt side of you, the pleasure is undeniable and before you can process it, you’re close to orgasm as Heeseung lands another harsh slap against your ass.
“Hee-baby, I’m gonna cum!” You pant heavily, inhaling a deep breath in preparation for your orgasm, only for it to be taken away from you. “No you’re not.” Heeseung slides his wet cock out of you, instead spreading your ass and pushing himself between your cheeks.
You scoff, now frustrated and in pain, wondering if this is what blue balls must feel like. You try to reach back and slide him back in, but he grips your wrist, pulling both of your arms back so your cheek lands harshly onto the counter top. Wincing, tears start pricking your eyes and you try to squirm away from him.
“Not letting you…d-don’t deserve to cum.” He grits through his teeth, pushing your butt cheeks together tightly as he thrusts, still keeping his fast pace.
Leaning forward, he rests his forehead between your shoulder blades, finally releasing as ropes of cum spurt out of his tip, landing across your back and staining your shirt, some reaching your hair to find in a sticky mess later.
You’re both panting, catching your breaths after whatever kind of rough, angry sex session that was. Still confused, you try to turn around, calling out to your quiet boyfriend. “Heeseung…” your voice is soft and comforting, and as much as he wants to accept it, he just keeps you turned around.
“Just- don’t.” That’s all he says before tucking himself back into his jeans and walking upstairs. The bathroom door shuts, still not slamming, but you can now tell that he is definitely still angry at you.
✶.
“So, what? He’s upset that we helped you and now you guys are having hot steamy hate sex?” Jake laughs to himself, taking a bowl of ramen from Sunghoon. A bowl of ramen you cooked for Heeseung.
You sigh, playing with your own ramen as you push it around the bowl with your chopsticks. “Yeah…I was cooking this when he came home and he just…did that.” You trail off at the end, not wanting to go into detail because no matter how good it felt, you were still hurt.
“Waitwaitwait.” Jay mutters with his mouth full, swallowing harshly before speaking again. “This ramen doesn’t have a special ingredient, right? His cum shot didn’t fly into here and now I’m consuming his babies?”
“Dude! What the fuck is wrong with you!?”
“Come on- I’m trying to eat here!”
“You’re actually disgusting.”
Sunghoon gags as he imagines the scene playing out, downing his glass of water to calm himself. You pat him on the back as he keeps gagging, mainly to piss off Jay who now regrets what he said.
“Okay, Hoon. You can stop now, I get it.” Jay rolls his eyes, picking up his beer bottle and taking a sip while sending glares towards his friend.
Your face drops to your palms, sighing again as you think about these past two days. “He left like an hour before I invited you guys over.” You speak up, eyes teary as you bite your lip. “He didn’t eat…didn’t say goodbye…he just left.” You break down, a sob escaping your lips at the thought of your boyfriend leaving you so alone and embarrassed.
“Do you know what this means?” Sunghoon places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly to ease your tension. You shake your head no, confused as to what he’s implying.
He sighs, looking between Jake and Jay, then back at you. “This means you’re going to have to choose.” Your eyes widen, shaking your head more aggressively now.
“What do you mean choose?” You can’t believe they’d recommend something like this. “You know, choose if you want to stay with him. Let him treat you like that, let him get away with those things.”
He grabs your hand, keeping his eyes locked with yours. “Or you can choose to stay with us. Keep being our friend, let us save you from this disaster.” His words hurt, but you know they must be true. “He just…” you inhale a shaky breath, “He just needs time. We’ll figure something out.”
Yeah, that’ll fix it. You’ll figure out a way to keep Heeseung happy and stay close to your best friends. Hopefully, without cutting any ties or creating an awkward atmosphere. But you’ll do whatever it takes to keep each of your boys happy.
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hopelessromantic5 · 2 days
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HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!
Expect a dump of my drafts in the coming weeks.
I love you and I hope you’re having the best gay time.
Here’s a Merthur snippet. Somewhat based on a very specific scene from Heartstopper.
Merlin is there through all of it, with Arthur.
He faces it with nothing but bravery.
And then the parade of brides come waltzing through and Merlin has never been more terrified in his life.
The world as he knows it, may end in the next few months.
It starts with whispers in the kitchens, as most things do.
Merlin had gone to get the Prince’s breakfast, as he did every other morning. Just as he slid the tray off the countertop, his sensitive hearing picked up a murmur.
“They’ll be coming from all over. Bringing gifts and things, y’know, to sweeten up the Prince’s favor.”
A whisper came back.
“I don’t see gold or trinkets sweetening up our prince, but it will sure be fun to watch them try.”
They giggle in unison.
Merlin is frozen. His back is still turning to them and he’s glad no one else has come in the door in front of him yet, because he has no power to control whatever horrified look is gracing his face.
This is it.
The beginning of the end.
Okay, maybe he’s being a little dramatic. He hadn’t heard anything officially yet, but if the kitchen heard, it was only a matter of time. And maybe, Arthur won’t even like any of them(unlikely). Even if he doesn’t, Uther is most likely the brains behind this grand scheme, which means pressure to marry.
Which means Arthur might not have a choice.
So it is.
The beginning of the end.
Merlin tries to swallow it down. He tries to school himself back into routine, but everything’s upside down now. Once Arthur is married, he will have no room in his life for the bond they have between them. They spend a lot of time together, whether it’s the normalcy of manservant duties or Merlin helping Arthur with his own duties. And sometimes it’s neither. Sometimes they’re just quiet. Sitting by the fire, thinking their thoughts silently, together.
But with a wife, Arthur won’t have time for that.
He has to go. He has to leave and continue on with his life, as if destiny hadn’t just taken a shard of broken glass and stabbed it into his starving belly.
So he moves, he forces one foot in front of the other, balancing the tray with effortless perfection. Never dropping a thing. He’s in a trance until he’s faced with the door to Arthur’s chambers.
He takes a deep breath, and tries to pretend he’s okay. After all, nothing had actually happened yet.
The room is filled with light when he arrives. Arthur is standing over his desk, head bent reading. He’s dressed, which is miraculous, and Merlin ignores the pang of disappointment that gets stuck in his throat.
Arthur is beautiful in the morning sun. His golden hair sits perfectly in place, his broad shoulders giving an air of regal grace, even here, in his private chambers.
Merlin sighs without being able to stop himself.
Arthur looks up at the sound, and when he sees that it’s Merlin, he smiles. A smile that Merlin only ever sees when it’s just the two of them.
The manservant holding breakfast might as well be a puddle on the floor.
“Good morning.” Arthur says, quietly, already moving to the table. “Come. Sit.”
Merlin obeys without question, Arthur has been asking him to sit with him while he eats for as long as he can remember.
He thinks Arthur doesn’t like to eat alone. And he’s perfectly okay with sitting there, watching him, while pretending to mend tunics.
“Eat.” Arthur grumbles not meeting his eyes, as he pops a grape in his mouth.
This is another thing Arthur does. He keeps feeding Merlin his royal food. And Merlin feels guilty every single time.
“Arthur, it’s your food. You do actually need it to survive.”
“Did you not just watch me eat a grape? I eat, okay? There’s more than enough here for the two of us, and you know it. So stop pouting and eat your breakfast.” Merlin obeys, once again, fighting a smile.
They have this argument every other morning.
And Merlin’s heart sings with it.
‘It’ being…well…ya know.
SIGH
Love.
Merlin was in love with him.
Like an idiot.
And it was a growing thorn in his side every waking moment, like a wild ram who can see his demise coming his entire life.
“What are you staring at?” There was no malice in Arthur’s voice, simply fond exasperation.
“Just making sure you do actually eat, sire. If you collapse during training, I’ll patch you all back together just to throw you to the wolves myself.”
“Are you threatening your future king, Merlin?”
“Future, being the only word of import there.”
Suddenly, Merlin remembers the world outside those doors. The expectations awaiting both of them, the whispers in the kitchens.
He sighs, again, involuntarily.
“What?” Arthur asks quietly, worry coloring his gentle tone. He’s looking at Merlin now. And even though they’re the only ones in his very locked chamber, Arthur leans in to ask, like they’re sharing trade secrets in the presence of foreign diplomats.
“What?” Merlin parrots back, obviously not realizing he had made his melancholy apparent.
Arthur narrows his eyes, searching Merlin’s expression for…something.
“What’s wrong? I know somethings wrong, you have that look on your face.” Merlin could almost cry at how soft Arthur sounds. Of course, out in the world, he could never be this openly honest with Merlin, not in front of others.
Merlin breaks under his awaiting blue eyes.
“I…heard something. In the kitchens this morning.” He mumbles, but Arthur hears it, of course.
Arthur looks confused.
Merlin realizes in an instant.
He doesn’t know.
“Arthur, I think…this could be completely false, I haven’t heard any other mutterings but- I think your father is inviting some…guests.”
Arthur is still confused.
“Guests…” he draws it out, still trying to grasp at what Merlin is telling him.
“Yes. Mostly female guests, I’m assuming. I think it may have something to do with-“
Merlin cuts himself off when he sees the same horrified look on Arthur’s face that Merlin experienced himself.
“No.” Arthur whispers, almost commanding it to be so. “He wouldn’t go behind my back and do this…would he?”
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reganmian · 2 days
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hello gay relatives gallavich nation!! i am finally making an intro post :)
thank you @callivich for creating such a comprehensive guide to the community here + encouragement for lurkers. i’ve been encouraged. 🫡🩷
Name: yi + my username means ‘hot dry noodles’ which is a popular chinese noodle dish. i picked it bc 1) it’s delicious 2) it has ian embedded
Age: 20
What made you fall in love with Gallavich? they’re complex characters who go through harrowing experiences, ups and downs, pain and suffering—situations where it seems impossible for any good to materialize. in spite of it all, they find each other over and over again. they scrape together every last sliver of hope. they try and try again, until they can finally match each others' pace, slow down, and just exist together. tl;dr - even with the deck stacked against them, they emerged from the angst victorious and in love. and i'm supposed to not eat it up?
How long have you been a fan? 67 days. i had seen a lot of shameless clips on youtube over the years - mostly of white boy carl, to which i was like wtf is this 💀 and ignored. eventually came across the clip of mickey chasing ian re: mandy in s1, checked the comments out, saw someone say “i can’t believe these 2 guys got married” and i was like What LMFAO? and fell into the All Gallavich Scenes | S01-S11 + Hall Of Shame | 1080p playlist and kinda got stuck there. started watching shameless a couple weeks later just for them
Favourite Gallavich moment/scene? when mickey’s on the brink of losing ian (many such cases) and in a split-second, decides to risk it all for him and comes out to everyone/his pos father at the alibi. then they get to beat him up. i giggle everytime at ian flipping terry off as the cop car pulls away, and sniffle when he kisses mickey’s head. mickey’s courage and fierce love for ian is so clear and it fills my heart with pride to see him finally out.
Favourite Shameless character apart from Ian and Mickey? fiona + mandy <3
Do you write or draw or make edits? i mostly write + i’m currently working on an AU fic—my very first for gallavich 🫡 i also draw once in a blue moon (limited to b&w sketches)
Favourite type of Gallavich fics? i'm drawn to AUs!! much of the canonverse is, for a lack of better words, ouchie. i will pretty much read anything tho; this fandom publishes some impeccable literature.
Favourite Gallavich quote? “ian, what you and i have makes me free. not what these assholes know.” instant classic.
Anything else you’d like to share about yourself? i’m taller than mickey/noel, speak en/fr/中文, and i’d love to make friends and pick writer brains and scream abt gallavich fics/ideas and gallavich themselves. i have so many thoughts abt them i will explode!!
i also wanted to say thank you so much for all the love received on the ian drawing i posted for his bday!! i hadn't drawn in a loooong time and i was met w/ so many kind words for which i am so grateful! 🫶🏻
that is it for me for now. i hope to hear from yall soon! 🩷
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horizontalsplash · 1 year
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AUUGUHDHDGDFJSHSGSJ
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manasurge · 4 months
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#sometimes I wish drawing wasn't such a lonely activity#am in a bit of a social mood but can't find anything to socialize about#i also wish I didn't need to spend ALL DAY trying to prep my brain to try to draw; despite it being something I wanna do and enjoy#why must i have executive dysfunction over my hobbies#this is why it takes me one million years to something I can actually get done in a few days at most#i'm so incredibly frustrated and it's super depressing and bumming me out#it's just so frustrating and i'm so irritated at myself#i know it's shark week so maybe it's why i'm a bit of a mess; but usually it doesn't affect me during the time so idk#also i love how every night I get to deal with the crippling dread and lowkey anxiety attacks bc everything i'm avoiding/afraid of and it-#- keeps festering in my mind and makes me avoid sleep for as long as possible and i'm stuck in an eternal negative feedback loop#i can't even do the thing i enjoy bc my brain is making it hard for me#not to mention that I constantly get those thoughts about how i'm never getting anywhere in life and i am in fact; ALONE#no irl friends or family and it still scares me to think about how worse things will get in the future for me.#not to mention not having a career or being capable of doing any kind of secondary schooling makes the dread even worse#but again frustrated and i can't even apply positive activities like how I'd usually do; not to mention i'm just always mad at myself about#-everything lmao#stupid brain just let me enjoy me hobby bc i wanna do it and you're not letting me and it's making me feel worse#delete later probably idk lmao
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moe-broey · 1 year
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Fuck it my brain feels super clogged so I'm posting my agenda with little to no context + one doodle idk if I'll color but I kinda want to but I kinda don't LMFAO
(wips I'm hoping to return to ect ect, just a few snippets from a larger Thing)
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very-lost-hobbit · 2 months
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I've been stuck with writer's block since December and usually it'll let up by March if it's the seasonal depression but it HASN'T :(
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apocalypticdemon · 25 days
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ughhhh writing hard
#it has truly been like pulling teeth today.#sometimes i write things that are actually good with prose that makes me go 'oh that's clever'#and sometimes writing is like it is today. where i all i do is 'they do this and then do this and then do this and oh my god.#i have repeated myself 3 times already i can see it. but i don't know how to fix it'#yes yes i know that's what editing is for but god dammit do i wish i didn't have to edit every fuckin' thing i write#if only things could be good the first time i try. ugh ugh ugh#i know where i want it to go brain just doesn't want it to go anywhere today#worried that it's bloated. that i have too many words. that too many things are irrelevant.#that there's no real plot despite Altogether Too Many Words. that i haven't put in enough conflict to warrant this many words.#that things are just cobbled together upon my whims and will not read in a way that is intuitive.#mrghhhhhh#it's fine i'll be fine i just want this to be good. i don't want to post altogether too many words of poor-quality writing.#i want it to be good and atmospheric and compelling like so many fics i've read that have been impactful.#i'm afraid it won't be good at all.#i'm trying really hard not to get in my own way and not get stuck on these moments#and just get actions and happenings down on the page so i don't get hung up on my writing quality#and just never finish anything#i've been writing on my own for a few years now (fic that i haven't cobbled into anything coherent and never posted)#but i don't really know if it's good. sometimes there are moments. but it's never what i want it to be.#and i'm afraid. but i want it. i'm trying.#just painful today is all.
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vodid · 11 months
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wishing youtube or spotify had a "times played" stat on specific songs like my mp3 player from 2005 had. because i knew my sibling and i collectively listened to "surface" by dimrain47 at least 583 times on that thing, but i'm not even sure how many times i've listened to tobe nwigwe's "on my soul" now even though i'm sure i'm gonna eventually catch up to that number at this rate. i can't stop. it's hours and hours a day. many days. that i am listening to this song.
autism.
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voiceshearingyouloud · 4 months
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Me when my life is trauma and mental illness all the way down but I am determined to make something good of it in the end
#I’m in such a weird spot right now because I can barely remember anything positive that’s ever happened in my life#every time I look back on any year I just see all the pain. and there has been lots of pain#and I know logically there was joy or happiness or something positive or I would’ve killed myself a long time ago#but I can’t remember it at all and my brain is trying to convince me I should kill myself now so I can escape the pain#if my life is just going to continue being pain#I know it’s not true. there’s been joy in my life before and there will be again but everything just hurts so bad#I don’t know how long I can keep going for#but even if I quit my job or drop out of school I’ll have to stay with my parents and that makes me want to kill myself more#in fact maybe that’s what’s making me so suicidal. staying with them now is not triggering my hypervigilance but it is making me flashback#to every trauma I’ve ever had much more often than usual#I’m not myself right now and I need to remember that there is a me to get back to#maybe I’ll go out tonight and remember I’m not destined be stuck in my parent’s house for the rest of my life#anne speaks#like. I realise that yeah I’ve had a great deal of pain in my life (I don’t mean to be navel gazing and also I have been super privileged in#a lot of ways but also ten mental illness and child abuse and ptsd three times over is a little excessive I think)#but there was joy before and there will be joy again! even if I’m exhausted I’m gonna hold on like I always have and one day I’ll be#glad I did#it sounds and feels trite but it’s happened before and it won’t be trite when it’s true#tw suicidality#tw suicide mention
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running-in-the-dark · 5 months
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I guess it just feels like I'm stuck in a cage made entirely by my own thoughts. that sounds so dramatic but it does feel like that.
like, it's not just that I'm scared of things so everything is kind of hard. it's that there's many, many things I would like to do or at least try, but I can't make myself do them. not 'oh this is a bit difficult so I'm afraid to try', no, it's not. an option. there's no path from 'want to do this' to 'I'm doing this'. I can't convince myself to do it. there's no tricks or anything. my brain, the useless thing that I need to do literally everything, doesn't allow it.
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hl-obsessed · 5 months
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areyoudoingthis · 6 months
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I'm gonna have to get on the evil pills pms is really ruining my life
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bereft-of-frogs · 11 months
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ahhh welcome back ‘I should be monetizing every second of the day and it’s a bad thing that my primary hobbies cannot be monetized and I should be ashamed’ feelings
🙃 this is because of student loans 🙃
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