#BEST STEPDAD
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Sir Tim Laurence and his stepdaughter, Zara Tindall 🥰💕
#BEST STEPDAD#😭😭😭#HE LOVES HER LIKE HIS OWN#ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR HER 😭#bless him#HE WOULD'VE MADE SUCH A GREAT PAPA 😭😭😭#tim laurence#timothy laurence#princess anne#princess royal#zara phillips#zara tindall#brf#british royal family#posts
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Lies
I used to lie as a kid and last year but my mom is the liar in the family and would make me seem that I am making up lies but she is the one that is she says that she has never hit me. But she has and would tell me not to tell anyone and I couldn’t do anything and when I feel sick she doesn’t care all she wants is for my grades not my health. The person that cares for me is my dad he is the person that is kind to me and I love him like if I told him that I was gay he would support me and he gives me money just for be having and my siblings would get jealous because they are so greedy and they get that from my mom. When I try to nice to my mom she would take advantage of me when I ask her if she wants something and she would sometimes say no and when I buy something with my own money and would still asked me for it. Like what the hell I bought it I don’t have to share it with you and I asked you if you want something and you said no so don’t asked me. And she said that she doesn’t steal from me and I have check my wallet as a kid and find that she has stole form me and when I confronted her about it she’s would confess and I asked her why she told me for her garage sales and for her to buy clothes. She would still give me the money but I was pissed at her. And talk to her for a week.
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it’s the picture of diana in lawrence’s wallet with her arms wrapped around a dog, it’s the horse riding awards in her bedroom and and the snake toy she has draped over her headboard .. it’s adam who wanted so badly to be a vet, adam who loves cats and brings them saucers of milk despite there being barely anything in his fridge .. it’s them bonding over their love of animals, diana showing adam her amazing animal facts book and adam asking for one every time he sees her, it’s adam saving up his own money so he can surprise her with a trip to the zoo for their next adam-and-diana day when lawrence and alison are at work and need someone to watch her, it’s him taking his camera, getting pictures of her with her favorite animals and developing them, it’s diana telling adam she wants to be a vet when she grows up and him getting excited, grabbing lawrence’s stethoscope when diana says she wants to play vets and taking his job oh so seriously when diana says that he’s gotta be her assistant, it’s .. its ..
#sorry for getting a little sick in the head about adam being the best stepdad ever as if its my fault#ohhhhhhhhhhh. its all a little too much for me#starts sobbing in a terrible nd agonising sort of way right after pressing post#good god man. talking to self#get a grip#chainshipping#diana gordon#adam faulkner stanheight#📹#no way in hell lawrence dr gordon md has a dog they do not have pets. maybe hed be ok w a rabbit#uhoh motifs cant stop wont stop#that dog is definitely an uncles or an aunts i just dont see in any universe lawrence having a dog or even a cat unless adam is involved#unless in some sort of fun au lawence finds a cat nd takes it to vet adam for the plot but otherwise no#n e way !#amazing animal facts was published in 2003 so it checks out actually#i checked for the post nd everything i take this all very seriously you know
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any chance you could write stepdad!steve catching you sneak back in from a party?
Pleaseeeeee 🤤 This is a lil short one but I might give it a second part
"What time do you call this?" You knew you were fucked when the taxi dropped you home and the light in your kitchen illuminated the drive way. Your mum made a habit of turning it off every night and you were only getting away with this if everyone was asleep.
It was well past the time your mum and stepdad usually went to bed. Hell, it was well past the time you usually went to bed yourself. You didn't often stay up to 2:37am and you absolutely never stayed out that late. Despite the fact you're in your 20's, your new stepdad had set the rule that you were to be home by 1am every night. No exceptions. Asshole.
It usually wasn't hard to follow his rules. No boys in your bedroom. Don't stay out late. Fill up the fuel you use in the car. Nothing really out of the ordinary. But then again, he kept telling you that you weren't the rule breaking type anyway.
"Sorry, I lost track of time." You did your best to avoid looking at your stepfather while you lied through your teeth. You'd known damn well what time it was and you'd had every intention of staying out until the lights in the club came back on. You just didn't think you'd get caught.
"Mhm." Steve's hum almost sounded convincing, pausing while he folded his arms, his navy blue pyjama top straining around his biceps. "You expect me to believe that? You're a bright girl, sweetheart. I know you can tell the time."
Damn your own body for betraying you like this. His praise makes your tummy flutter and you know it's so damn wrong.
"I know you want to be a good girl, don't you?" He pauses again, waiting for your response and he seems satisfied when you nod. "Always so well behaved for me. You know what? I'll let you pick your own punishment. Just this once." His eyes are trained on your face, watching for any sign of discomfort at the way things are progressing.
"Option 1. I confiscate your car keys." Fair enough but that would be really inconvenient. "Option 2. I confiscate your phone." Oh no, absolutely not. "Option 3. I confiscate that shitty little vibrator you keep in the drawer beside your bed."
How does he even know you have that? It's mortifying enough that he feels able to punish you but this is a step further than you were expecting.
"No need to be shy about it, honey. I get it. You've got needs. Nothing to be embarrassed about. And if it makes you feel better, I could show you how a real man should touch you. You'll forget that little plastic thing even exists."
Fuck, that's an offer you could only ever have dreamed of. In fact, it's painfully close to what you imagine while you're frantically rolling the vibrator in question over your own clit.
"If you'd rather lose your car keys or your phone, feel free. Choice is yours." Steve sounds awfully nonchalant for someone who's just made a proposal like that but there's no chance you're turning down his offer.
"Option 3." Your voice is barely a squeak and you almost think you've made the wrong decision when Steve raises an eyebrow.
"Good girl. Go get it."
#asks answered <3#anon#becca writes spice#stepdad!Steve rogers#Steve rogers x reader smut#Steve rogers smut#tw: stepdad#tw: stepcest#a short one#because I've been writing my essay all day and I need to get back to it#I needed a break from it#I took some leave from work this week and now I don't want to go back tomorrow 😩#I had the best time off#chilling in a hot tub#taking myself to nice restaurants#going on walks in a city I'm not familiar with#coffee shops with a good book#doing a lil bit of shopping#found a new MSc I think I'd LOVE
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Thinking about agreeing to seduce your best friend’s stepfather “as a favor” because she can’t stand the guy and hopes her mother will leave him if she sees what a piece of shit he is.
You know it’s a shitty thing to do regardless of the reasoning, but you’ve seen Mr. Bakugou fresh out the shower once before. You have a pretty good idea of what he’s packing and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to experience it first hand
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One of my favorite obscure fic concepts for the mdzs fandom are the ones where Jin Zixuan does some math on his head, decides he's now Wei Wuxian's stepdad and must take responsibility for him. It makes sense too, Jiang Yanli was the best parent her little brothers could have asked for (pour one out for my parentified oldest daughter tho), but since her family situation was what it was she ended up babying Wei Wuxian a bit more, nothing too harmful, she just doted on him a bit more than she did Jiang Cheng (not to say she didn't dote on Jiang Cheng, but bro would not have enjoye getting the exact same treatment as Wei Wuxian on this one), it's not a strech to say she's most likely the closest thing to a mother figure Wei Wuxian had ever since his own died. Enter Jin Zixuan, who now realizes he became a stepdad to a grown ass man overnight, he's not gonna back down tho, he'll earn that best dad mug goddamn it (and if Wei Wuxian screams "You're not my dad" at the least once like some emo kid rebelling against his mom's new boyfriend that just means he's on the right path)
#mdzs#xuanli#jin zixuan#jiang yanli#wei wuxian#wei ying#accept your new stepdad babe#he just wants what's best for you
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yes yes jamie’s mom was everything i hoped and dreamed she would be... i am not speculating on the truth bomb... beard and ted’s backstory... not the truth bomb... god that scene with jamie and ted on the pitch was pure perfection... WE DO NOT MENTION THE TRUTH BOMB... colin scored a goal van damme was unstoppable as his namesake jamie got an ovation from the man city crowd i AM NOT THINKING ABOUT THE TRUTH BOMB
in unrelated news jason sudeikis call me immediately i just want to talk
#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#jamie tartt#colin hughes#jamie's mom omg and his stepdad the best ever#gahhhh
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In light of Father's Day...
Yuu: Happy Father's Day *hands Crowley an envelope*
Crowley: Oh, Prefect! You see me as a father-figure and got me a gift! You shouldn't have- *opens the envelope and stares at it* This is a restraining order?! AND YOU'RE SUING ME?!
Yuu: Exactly, see you in court, bitch.
. . . meanwhile . . .
Crewel: I got those adoption papers you handed in with your last exam.
Yuu: And? *hopeful look*
Crewel: Welcome to the family. *small smile* Also, how did Crowley take the restraining papers and the su-
Crowley: *loud sobbing in the distance*
Crewel: Nevermind then-
#twst#twisted wonderland#dire crowley#divus crewel#twst yuu#twst shitpost#i want to hand crowley a damn restraining order and sue him for all the bs he pulls#bonus; azul's stepdad is your lawyer [yes i know he's a divorce lawyer but let me have this]#the best dad of twst award goes to trein though [sorry lilia you nearly dropped silver way too often as a kid]#breaking news; dire crowley headmage of night raven college was sued for child endangerment get the full scoop at [redacted]!#i honestly forget about father's day every year but i guess i can give people this#twst drabble
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Okay, I was just thinking about a legal justice plotline in S3(meaning Wilhelm and Simon essentially having legal proceedings against August) and I don't think that we will get this in S3 at all but it's really really interesting to think about nevertheless.
Because usually in queer stories, coming out solves all the problems like a magical, fix-it-all solution and the mains live happily ever after. But YR heavily leans on realism and even if the S2 ending is an ambiguous but fitting ending for a queer show (sort of a coming out montage), it does not work for this show.
It has been repeatedly said by the cast and crew that Wilhelm's problem is not being queer, it's being a prince. The systemic traditions weighing on a person who can't even grieve his own brother without being shoved into empty traditions and a PR machiavelli. A person who cannot even fall in love with another person without a thousand worries crossing his mind in every move. A person who tried to confide in his own cousin but his privacy got shattered in front of the whole world instead. It's not that Wilhelm being queer itself is a problem. Instead the domino effect it would bring to people around him is the problem. And that's why it was such a task for Wilhelm to get his mother on board for the idea of a relationship with Simon- because everyone (and it includes Kristina) will try to enforce the heteronormative narrative again and again on him, pretending like his feelings don't matter because in the end, it's easier for them. It's easier for them to live in their centuries-old metaphorical gilded cages and try to enforce the traditions on the royal family itself because the monarchists and the rich (old AND new) thrive under the "stability" the monarchy provides to their social stature and their bulging pockets. Even August's motivations towards the crown are two-fold: he's not only in a constant want of power, but he is also a firm believer in continuing traditions and he directly benefits from the monarchy running as it is. And having the power in his hands will let him ensure that his own estates and rich-people solidarity is never threatened again.
But Wilhelm emerges as an anomaly in the system- he will not tie himself down to hollow traditions. And it threatens everyone's stability, which leads to the denial- and the swirling wave of change calms down. But then Wilhelm starts refusing all the traditions and eventually retracts the denial- and the wave hits all of them like a storm.
And Wilhelm trying to seek justice through the legal machinery is not only very poetic (a prince trying to seek fairness in a democratic system because the monarchy inevitably fails him), but it will also rock the boats of so many people. They will finally get to understand that rich and powerful people also have consequences for their actions and their safety nets can blow away no matter how much money they throw away to keep themselves afloat.
I can understand one argument that August is also young and maybe legal consequences will be a bit extreme for him. But, like, any other common person will be blown apart by the system despite being innocent, why is he any exception? If human lives have equal value, why their actions should be treated differently? I would still like August to have a chance at a realization of the severity of his actions rather than facing legal consequences, but I also do want him to face the legal mechanism or atleast face the fear of having legal consequences for his actions. These two things can co-exist. Simon can easily be torn apart because of the whole dealing thing, and no one would come and save his ass for it. It's the biasness for me.
Overthrowing the monarchy or letting August have a redemption arc is just not possible in a single 6-episode season. It will simply be unnatural to the progression of the story. However, atleast in my head, Wilhelm and Simon seeking justice through a legal system can bring the consequences into action without the added labour of scrapping away a deeply rooted institution or changing the way a person's psyche works.
#young royals#prince wilhelm#simon eriksson#august of årnäs#i don't even know if it's logistically possible and i am not putting it out as a prediction or something at all#it was just swirling in my head and you should just let your mind wander sometimes methinks#they both are minors and Wilhelm being a prince is also a big problem with this#but August's stepdad being a lawyer#Sweden's one of the best lawyers apparently#and Sara filing a police report at the end of s2#the way Wilhelm raking back the denial will lead to a public reaction and can lead to people discussing about the perpetrator#i just can't stop thinking about a legal storyline ngl#but again this is also very difficult to fit in a 6-episode season tho so yeah
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I'M
STILL
NOT
OVER
THESE 😭❤️
#I'LL NEVER BE OVER IT#NEVER.#HER DAD TWO#BEST STEPDAD#😭😭😭#HE'S SO SOFT#HE'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR HER#FOR THEM#I'M CRYING#IT'S TOO MUCH FOR MY HEART#tim laurence#timothy laurence#zara phillips#zara tindall
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Abuse
I Never talk about this but I have been abused my dad and my mom have abused me ever since I was five. But they would never hit my younger brother because he was my parents favorite. And after 7 years when my dad left my mom still says she is going on what happen seven years old and I made a promise to her that if I go do military service I will give her papers to this county and she will give me 20,000 dollars but she keeps acting like I am her servant and I have to her work and never asked my brother to do it and she is a complete jerk she goes and tells me that I am stupid and that people like are the reason that we have shootings. When I try my best and makes me want to kill my self and every time and she made cry I would slap my self in the face and would sometimes cut my arms with a knife. And she wants me to be a straight person and marry a women which I don’t want to because I am gay. And if I tell her if I am gay she would be harassing me to be straight. And would tell my whole family. She talks about her manager in work and how she is so mean but she is worse then her manager. My stepdad has always been nice to me when she would be such an asshole and she is reason why I have depression and she has no idea about it because she wants to believe that she is not the cause of it but she is. Today when I stood up to her she told me that she was going to hit me.
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going insane thinking abt people's effects on our personalities btw
#raccoon's thoughts#like oh my god guys. we're just fucking mosaics of everyone thats been in our lives#i still make scrambled eggs the way my boi dad taught me.#i organize my inventory in animal crossing the way my honorary aunt does#i do redstone the way my friend from elemenrary school showed me#i use the same swears when i die in borderlands that my stepdad used bc i grew up watching him play#i haven't fucking spoken to my best friend from 4th grade in years but i still draw comics the way we used to#hhhhhhh fuckin sobbing
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i hope that your interview went well!!!
WOODROW!!! HI!!! holy shit woodrow cameo on the art blog!!!!
i honestly could not definitively say that it went well Or bad! i panicked and clammed the fuck up halfway through!
#my dude my guy my man hows it hangin#stayin zesty i hope!#but yeah the interview... insert Ben Affleck Smoking On Balcony.jpeg#based on my stepdad's reaction to my brief recount over the phone. uh. i dont think i did well!#but! i can hope that the power of Needing Employees and Nepotism pull through!#rambles from the bog#its fine its fine ive never landed an interview much less attended one. so i think i did as well as i feasibly could#i did my best and thats what matters! 🫡#ty for the well wishes homie <3
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Daddy Knows Best Masterlist
Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI
Pairing: StepDad!August Walker x StepDaughter!Reader
Summary: August Walker and your father were once friends. One mission, a single decision, made them enemies. August decides he needs to get his revenge. And what better way, than to become your new Daddy? {DARK FIC}
Dividers by: @saradika
Cover Art by me
Support/Reblog banner by me
Spotify Playlist is here.
YouTube Music playlist is here.
Parts: I - II - III - IV - V (possibly on hiatus)
My Masterlist
#henry cavill#henry cavill characters#henry cavill fanfiction#henry cavill fanfic#august walker#august walker fanfiction#august walker smut#august walker fanfic#august walker x reader#ellethespaceunicorn fanfic#mission: impossible fallout#mission impossible: fallout#mission: impossible fallout#mission impossible fallout#mission impossible#august walker x ofc#august walker x you#stepdad!august walker#stepdad august walker#dead dove do not eat#dead dove fic#tw stepcest#stepdad#stepdaughter#dark!august walker#dark august walker#dark! fic#dark fic#dark!fic#daddy knows best
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An eye on you (Daniel Ricciardo)
Even though your son knows Daniel since he was born, he turns a bit protective over you when you start dating. Fluff.
Note: I love the StepDad trope, really. One of my favorites. Plus, Daniel and kids it's always a go. So...
Daniel was one of those childhood friends you never lose touch with. We had been together since we were 11 or 12 through ups and downs.
He was one of the first friends who came to visit when I gave birth, carrying a huge teddy bear on his arm and telling Michael how to carry the flowers.
He had been stunned when he met Elliot, but gave me a weird look when I told Michael to be his God father. But as Elliot grew up and his dad and I broke up, Daniel and I got closer. Super close, actually. Elliot was 5, almost 6, now and Daniel and I had been dating for months. Not officially yet, but a lot of stuff happened.
Elliot loved Daniel. He loved to do 'crazy' stuff with him. He loved to go Karting with him, to go to his farm, he was good friends with his niece and nephew and loved hikes with Michael and Daniel. So I wasn't worried.
"Hey, Elliot."
"Hey Mum. Look at this. It's Spider-Man" He showed me his drawing.
"Oh wow. It's amazing, honey."
I kissed his head and sat on a chair with him.
"I want to talk about something"
He looked at me.
"Daniel has invited us to his farm to spend the weekend. With his family"
He smiled. Elliot knew Daniel and I were more than friends now. He knew about all the times we had gone out and how special Daniel was for me.
"Will Isaac be there?"
"Um... I don't know, maybe. The thing is that..."
"Daniel is your boyfriend"
I looked at him surprised.
"Well. Yes. Kind of. But you are friends with him, right? You like him"
"I do, yes. He has cool cars and a pool. Will he take me to see the sheep?!"
I smiled.
"Of course he will. You know he loves spending time with you"
"Ok"
Elliot seemed happy when I drove to Daniel's farm. The driver was waiting for us with his parents. He had one of those hats and a huge smile. He loved Elliot so much and was super excited to have us here for the weekend. It was the first time we would go there as a family plan, not as a friends plan.
"Hey buddy!"
Daniel ran to him and helped him unbuckling his belts.
Even though Elliot always was excited around him, today he seemed more serious.
"How was the road?"
"Good" Elliot answered.
Daniel looked at me for a second and I gave him an "I don't know" look. Elliot had been a bit weird recently.
"Okay..."
Daniel greeted me with the biggest hug and a super fast peck on my lips. His parents and my son were there.
"It's everything alright?"
I kissed his cheek.
"I think he just needs some time"
Daniel kissed my forehead.
"I'm happy you are here. Michelle and the kids will come later"
"He already asked about them"
We walked to Elliot, who was standing there and looking shy at Dan's parents.
"Elliot, mate. Come here. I want you to meet my parents."
Elliot took Danny's hand and walked to him while I put our bags out of the car.
I looked at them and saw Grace hugging Elliot with a smile. It made me blush a bit. Daniel already treated Elliot as his. It was so nice to see his parents welcoming us so warmly.
"He is so cute, YN. He has grown so much. You mum always shows me pictures but look at him..."
"Thank you, Grace. He is a little man already." I said hugging her.
Joe and Daniel were already talking with Elliot about going around the farm.
Elliot turned a bit and looked at me.
"Elliot! You wanted to do something with Danny, right?"
"Oh really?" Daniel said with an exaggerated surprise.
"Can we go and see the sheep?"
"Of course we can. Just go with mum and get some comfy clothes. And then we can go."
Elliot nodded eagerly.
Daniel took him everywhere around the farm. When Isaac and Isabelle arrived, he played with my son and his niece and nephew.
Right after dinner, we were all around a little fire. I was cuddled against Daniel's side, seeking for his warmth and keeping an eye on the kids. The three of them were playing on one side, but Elliot was looking at Daniel and me once in a while.
One of those times, he caught Daniel kissing my lips and frowned. He wasn't used to this kind of gesture from Daniel. I feared that he may feel jealous of him, or felt as if I was forgetting about him because now I was dating someone. After all, Daniel was the only serious thing I had after breaking up with his dad.
Elliot stopped playing and looked at his hands for a couple of seconds. Then, he got up and walked in our direction. Standing right in front of us.
"Danny, can I talk to you for a second?"
What?
"Elliot, son. Are you okay?"
"Yes, mum. I just want to talk to Danny"
Daniel looked at me.
"Elliot, really. Is everything okay? Do you need something?" I touched his hair.
"No, mum. I'm good."
"Hey, if the little man wants to talk... You want to go somewhere more private?"
Elliot nodded.
You looked at Daniel. He was truly the best. There wasn't anyone in this world you would chose over him.
Both guys left.
"Danny loves him" Grace said.
"I know. Elliot adores him too. I'm really happy."
"Elliot was a bit shy today, right?" Michelle asked.
"Yes. I don't know, maybe it's because things are changing"
Minutes went by and they didn't come out of the house, so I excused myself and went inside. I was worried. Even though Elliot said he was okay, my mum's instinct made me worry.
I saw light in the living room, but when I heard Elliot's soft voice, I stopped. Half-hidden I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but Daniel and Elliot were sitting in front of each other and they seemed to be having a very serious conversation.
"My mum told me that if you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend you have to love them so so much and take a lot of care of them. And I heard my mum saying once that my dad didn't love her. So if you are going to be my mum's boyfriend and she is going to be your girlfriend you will have to take a lot of care of her. And love her so much because she is super nice and the coolest. And she always takes a lot of care of me and buy me chocolate when I'm sad. And she told me she loves you and that's why she wants to to be her boyfriend and live with us. So I will only let you be her boyfriend if you make a pinky promise to me. Okay? Promise you will take a lot of care of her and love her so so much"
I had tears on my eyes and had to cover my mouth so they wouldn't hear me sob.
"Wow, Elliot. I-I promise, buddy. I really do. Pinky promise. I will take a lot of care of her. Trust me." Daniel threaded his pinky with Elliot's and smiled. "I love her a lot. I have for a while."
"Not more than me"
"How I love your mum is different from how you love her" Daniel said gently.
"But you will take care a lot of care of her, right?"
"Of course I will, buddy."
Elliot nodded and reached his hand to Daniel.
"Okay, treat. But I will keep an eye on you"
I bit my lip smiling. I couldn't really describe how I was feeling.
"Give me a hug, mate" Daniel said.
They hugged hard.
"Are you going to be like my second dad?"
"Um. I don't know. I can be your step dad"
Yes Danny, there is nothing I'd love more.
"Yeah, you are cool. Will you show me how to ride those dirt bikes?"
"Your mum will kill me if I do"
"I will"
"Mum!" Elliot threw his hands to the air. "We were having a secret talk"
"Oh, sorry honey. I just arrived"
He frowned.
Daniel looked at him with a smile and then at me.
"Elliot, go outside with Isaac and Isabelle, okay?"
He nodded and ran past me. Daniel got up and walked to me. I smiled and took a deep breath. He hugged my waist and I circled his neck with my arms.
"Can I?" He whispered.
"Can you what?"
"Be his step dad"
I smiled and kissed him deeply.
"There is nothing I want more, Daniel"
"Really?"
I nodded and touched his nose with mine.
"I love you" He whispered. "And I love Elliot a lot"
He kissed me again.
"You heard him, right? Your son gave me the talk"
I laughed a bit.
"I'm lucky that I have you both" I said looking into his eyes.
"So I am. Step dad is better than godfather" He said smiling.
"Is that so?"
"I can get to do a bunch of adult things with the mum"
I rolled my eyes and hit the back of his head.
"Idiot"
"Privileged"
Later that night, still in front of the fire, Elliot got comfortable between our bodies, his head on Daniel's chest and my arms around the both of them.
"Mum?"
"Yes baby?"
"If Danny is my stepdad now... Can I have a baby brother?"
Daniel looked at me and I heard his mum gasp.
"Well... Do you want one?"
"I do"
Daniel bit his lip.
"We could arrange that, right?" He said looking at me.
"I think we can, yes"
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i’ve seen other people sharing their family lore and such on here before and i wanted to share mine because it’s really fucking funny and i will literally never shut up about it. so i used to live out on the (american) west coast with my mom and bio dad, and when i was like 4 (ish) my dad decided to do some fucked up shit (understatement) and so he decided to do the most logical thing possible when faced with court hearings: my father, who i have inherited many fun and interesting mental illnesses from, tried to fake his death in the most cheesy and absurd way possible.
he (again!! in order to escape court hearings) decided to set up his apartment like it was something out of a crime drama. he left dozens of empty beer bottles around, left a really incredibly overdramatic ‘woe is me, my life sucks, the world isn’t worth me’ note for people to find, and then (this is the best part) he left a MAP. on the TABLE. he had CIRCLED A CLIFF ON IT and EXPECTED EVERYONE TO JUST. ACCEPT HE JUMPED OFF???
the way that my mom found out where he even WAS happened because he got caught selling drugs in las vegas with his girlfriend and the cops called her and were like ‘hey is this your husband’ and she was like ‘yeah thanks guys i’ve been trying to prove he disappeared so i can divorce him’ and at that point it had been like a full year and my mom had had to hire a literal private investigator in order to PROVE he was actually gone at all and it wasn’t just her trying to steal money while he was away on a fishing trip or whatever
(she did end up divorcing him btw and remarried to my step dad who very much stepped up <3)
but yeah that’s… how my dad both failed and succeeded faking his own death 👍
#thought this would be a fun one to share#bit of dad lore never hurt anybody#apparently he’s trying to clean up his act recently and like honestly based on his consistency with telling people straight lies 24/7 i-#don’t really think it’s out of line for me to just Not Believe him#i think the best part about all this is that i didnt even hear it from my mom or stepdad or anything#i heard it from my aunt#she just CASUALLY dropped it into conversation like ‘yeah when your dad faked his death to avoid jail-’#and i was like HE DID WHAT?? EXCUSE ME????#then i asked my mom and she confirmed it#so. there’s that#storytime#dad lore
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