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#As for COD? Yeah I'm not gonna get into THAT
writerof-thewoods · 7 months
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tfw you have so much brainrot for something you never thought you would like, but now you do 😭 13 year old me's brain would probably short-circuit if it found out what fictional works I'm into now lol. it's not that they're bad of course! it's just not something I'd immediately expect to see from myself Idk I just think it's kinda funny
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cerise-on-top · 2 months
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Hello :3 and it’s completely okay if not of course but could you do a Kate laswell x chubby s/o, your work is amazing btw :)
Hello! Thank you! Don't worry, I've written about Farah with a chubby reader before, so I can do Laswell as well :-)
Laswell with a Chubby!S/O
As long as you’re healthy and doing just fine, Laswell really couldn’t care less about what you look like, so she really doesn’t mind you being chubby. In fact, to her it’s a  sign that you’re eating well enough. However, she will sometimes make sure that you don’t gain too much weight by eating too much sugar or other things that are unhealthy for you. Something along the lines of diabetes can be fatal very easily, and she really doesn’t wanna lose you to something that could have been prevented. She won’t always go out of her way to make sure you don’t eat a lot of sugar, she won’t monitor what you eat either, but she will make you aware and wants you to be careful. I know this could cause some disagreements among the two of you, but she just really wants you to be well. However, that doesn’t mean she wants you to change, not in the slightest, she loves you as you are. As long as you’re healthy you can do what you want.
Laswell isn’t a very physically affectionate person in general, so she won’t really do much in regards to hugging or cuddling you and using you as a pillow. Sure, she’ll give you the occasional hug and squeeze you a bit, but she knows there’s a chance you might be insecure about being chubby so she won’t go out of her way to make you aware of your being chubby too much. You’re beautiful in her eyes either way, it doesn’t matter to her how chubby you are.
If you ever feel down in the dumps about it, she’ll reassure you that you’re lovely as you are, that you don’t need to lose weight in order to be the prettiest person she’s ever seen. And she really does mean it. Again, she won’t be too touchy with you, but she’ll use her words to convince you that you’re worth so much more than you believe, that all those people hating on you are simply too insecure about themselves to see just how great you are. Laswell loves you and it shows through her actions and her words. However, she will support you if you do decide to lose weight. Might sometimes allow you to have a cheat day or two, though.
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avianii · 6 months
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so I just spoiled the entirw MW3 campaign for myself. whoops my bad but actually I am not sorry about it at all because this campaign legitimately pisses me off
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twilightarcade · 3 months
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man .
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allpromarlo · 1 year
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am i getting into a whole new thing bc i want to distract myself from the imminent disaster on sunday? absolutely
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wombywoo · 7 months
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Ok! I've finally decided to put together a (somewhat) comprehensive tutorial on my latest art~
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Please enjoy this little step-by-step 💁‍♀️
First things first--references!
Now I'm not saying you have to go overboard, but I always find that this is a crucial starting point in any art piece I intend on making. Especially if you're a detail freak like me and want to make it as realistic as possible 🙃
As such, your web browser should look like this at any given point:
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Since this is a historical piece, it means hours upon hours of meaningless research just to see what color the socks are, but...again. that isn't, strictly, necessary 😅
Once I've compiled all my lovely ref pics, I usually dump them into a big-ass collage ⬇️
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(I will end up not using half of these, alas :'D)
Another reference search for background material, and getting to showcase our models of choice for this occasion~
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When picking a reference for an actor or model, the main thing I keep in mind (besides prettiness 🤭) is lighting and orientation. Because I already kinda know what pose I'm gonna go with for this piece, I can look for specific angles that might fit the criteria. I should mention that I am a reference hound, and my current COD actor ref folder looks like this:
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Also keep in mind, if you're using a ref that you need to flip, make sure you adjust accordingly. This especially applies to clothing, as certain things like pants zippers and belt buckles can be quite specific ☝️
Now that we've spent countless hours googling, it's time to start with a rough sketch:
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It doesn't have to be pretty, folks, just a basic guideline of where you want the figures to be.
The next step is to define it more, and I know this looks like that 'how to draw an owl' meme, but I promise--getting from the loose sketch above to below is not that difficult.
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Things to keep in mind are--don't go too in-depth with the details, because things are still subject to change at this point. In terms of making a suitable anatomically-correct sketch, I would suggest lots of studying. This doesn't even have to be things like figure drawing, I genuinely look at people around me for inspiration all the time. Familiarize yourself with the human form, and things like weight, proportions, posing will seem a little more feasible.
It's also important at this stage to consider your composition. Remember to flip the canvas frequently to make sure you're not leaning to one side too often. I'm sure something can be said for the spiral fibonacci stuff, which I don't really try to do on purpose, but I think keeping things like symmetry and balance in mind is a good start ✌️
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Next step is just blocking in the figures. Standard. No fuss 👍
Now onto the background!
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It's frankly hilarious how many people thought I was *hand-drawing* these maps and stuff 😂😂 I cannot even begin to comprehend how insanely difficult that would be. So yeah, we're just taking the lazy copy and paste way out 🤙
I almost always prepare my backgrounds first, and this is mostly to get a general color scheme off the bat. For collage work, it's really just a matter of trial and error, sticking this here, slapping this there, etc. I like to futz around with different overlay options until I've found a nice arrangement. Advice for this is just--go nuts 🤷‍♀️
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Next, I add a few color adjustments. I tend to make at least 2 colors pop in an art piece, and low and behold, they usually tend to be red and blue ❤️💙There's something about warm/cool vibes, idk man..
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Now we move on to coloring the figures. This is just a basic block and fill, not really defining any of the details yet.
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Next, we add some cursory values. Sloppy airbrush works fine, it'll look better soon I promise 🙏
And now--rendering!
I know a lot of beginner artists are intimidated by rendering, and I can totally understand why. It's just one of those things you have to commit to 💪
I've decided to show a brief process of rendering our dear Johnny's face here:
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Starting off, I usually rely on the trusty airbrush just to get some color values going. Note--I've kept my sketch layer on top, but feel free to turn it on and off as you work, so as to not be too bound to the sketch. For now, it's just a guideline.
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This next stage may look like a huge jump, but it's really just adding more to the foundation. I try to think of it like putting on make-up in a way~ Adding contours, accentuating highlights. This is also where I start adding in more saturation, especially around areas such as ears, nose and lips. Still a bit fuzzy at this point, but that's why we keep adding to it 💪
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A boy has appeared! See--now I've removed most of the line layer, and it holds up on its own. I'll admit that in order to achieve this realistic style, you'll need lots and lots of practice and skill, which shouldn't be discouraging! Just motivate yourself with the prospect of getting to look at pretty men for countless hours 🙆‍♀️
I'll probably do a more in-depth explanation about rendering at some point, but let's keep this rolling~
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Moving forward is just a process of adding to the figures bit by bit. I do lean towards filling in each section from top to bottom, but you can feel free to pop around to certain parts that appeal to you more. I almost always do the faces first though, because if they end up sucking, I feel less guilty about scrapping it 😂 But no--I think he's pretty enough to proceed 😚
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They're coming together now 🙆‍♀️ Another helpful tip--make sure you reuse color. By that, I mean--try to incorporate various colors throughout your piece, using the eyedropper tool to keep a consistent palette. I try to put in bits of red and blue where I can
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Here they are fully rendered! Notice I've made a few subtle changes from the sketch, like adjusting the belt buckles because I made a mistake 😬 Hence why you shouldn't put too much stock in your initial sketch~
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The next step is more of a stylistic choice, but I usually go over everything with an outline, typically in a bright color like green. Occasionally, I can just use my initial line layer, but for this, I've made a brand new, cleaner line 👍
And the final step is adjusting the color and adding some text:
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Tada!! It's done!
All in all, this took me the better part of a week, but I have a lot of free time, so yeah ✌️
I hope you appreciated that little walkthrough~ I know people have been asking me how I do my art, but the truth is--I usually have no clue how to explain myself 😅 So have this half-assed tutorial~
As a bonus, here is a cute (cursed) image of Johnny without his mustache:
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A baby, a literal infant child !!! who put this wee bairn on the front lines ??! 😭
Anyway! peace out ✌️
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chlorinecake · 9 months
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𝐉𝐎𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐊 - a yjw oneshot 🕹️
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𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: a fun gaming session with your bsf leads to a night full of steamy shenanigans
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: gamer!roommate!jungwon x reader
𝐜𝐰: swearing, kissing, teasing, hickeys, y/n gets her boobies fondled, oral (f. & m. receiving), mentions of other enhypen members
𝐰𝐜: 3k | not proofread, written quickly
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You sighed, “I wish more people in the world cared about Roblox… it saved my life, bro.”
“That was easily one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard you say.”
“What?”
“I said-”
“EVER! Wanna play COD Mobile instead?”
“Bruh, that game is so mid.”
You scoffed at his remark, bringing a flared hand to your chest. “I’m goated at COD mobile, averaging like 100 kills per match. People praise me for that.”
“Because it doesn’t take skill?” He made it sound like a question, when he was really making a statement.
“Mkay. I bet I’d still whoop your ass on console, but we don’t have to go there.”
A hint of ambition sparkled in his eyes at the challenge. “Oh yeah? And what are we betting here?”
“Hmm,” you thought for a moment, “If you win, I’ll fix you a victory snack.”
He nodded at the enticing offer, “And if you win? Which you won’t, but-”
“The bragging rights will be enough for me, but you could always fix the broken shower head in my bathroom so I can stop using yours,” you interrupted confidently.
Jungwon forgot all about how you broke your shower head last week. You told him it was an innocent mistake, but his mind obviously wandered to other places once you told him. By now though, he had already gotten used to sharing a bathroom with you, so he didn’t feel any urgency to repair it. Still and all, he understood how you might want your private space back. “Ok. Fair enough,” Jungwon agreed.
He handed you a controller, waiting for you to join him at the loading screen. Setting up your gear and choosing what weapon you wanted, the match eventually started. Needless to say, you didn’t stand a chance against Jungwon and his team of CPU’s, feeling sore from defeat.
A prideful smile waved over his features, showcasing his prominent dimples. “Sooo,” he began, “I would like your leftover Twix bar from the fridge cut up over two scoops of vanilla ice cream. Don’t forget the sprinkles.”
You pouted, handing him the overheating controller. “I’m not fixing you a damn thing. You probably cheated!”
His eyebrows raised, “First of all, cheating is for weenies. Second of all, a deals a deal!”
“Ugh, fine. I’m charging tips, by the way.”
“Not a chance, crook. Unless,” he caught your attention as you got up from the living room couch, “you wanna go for another round?”
“No, that’s alright. I think I'm gonna just watch you play the game for now. You could invite Heeseung, too, if you want.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll be back, okay? I gotta use the bathroom real quick.”
Walking into the bathroom, you closed the door behind you, taking off the bra that had been killing your back for the past 12 hours. You didn’t know where else to put it, so you hid it under Jungwon’s bathroom cabinet before leaving.
“When do you ever wanna play games with me? Are you with Riki or something?” Heeseung asked from the headset.
“No, I’m with ____. She needs some testosterone in her life and wants to watch us play I guess.”
“I can think of a few ways to help her with that,” Jungwon could hear the smirk in Heeseung’s voice.
“Shut the fuck up and join me already.”
“What? It’s not like you’ll ever have the balls to make a move on her, anyway,” Heeseung chuckled. “How long have you know her for again?”
“Since the first day of college.”
“Damn, and you’ve barely even grazed first base.”
“She’s still sacrificing her free time to hang out with me, so I don’t see the loss here?”
“Look, buddy. Your rizz needs an upgrade. These cute little gaming nights you have every weekend needs an upgrade. Your wardrobe needs an upgra-”
“I get it, asshole.”
You came back with the snack he requested, eliciting a dramatic applause from your goofy ahh friend.
“Your majesty,” you bowed playfully, placing the bowl of ice cream on the desk in front of him.
You filled in the space next to him, resting an elbow on the arm of the sofa, your nipples now on full display through your thin shirt.
“Are you cold,” Jungwon asked, eyes not quite meeting yours. You meant to reply, but he was already reaching his hand out to grope your chest, using a thumb to smooth out your hardened buds with his warm touch. You eyes widened in shock.
“Woah- mmm, n-no, I’m okay” you stuttered, Jungwon smirking at how flustered you appeared.
What the actual fuck was that!?, you thought to yourself.
He went back to casually talking with Heeseung again as if he didn’t just rub your nipples…
You usually enjoyed watching Jungwon play the game, but now, you couldn’t take your eyes off of Jungwon’s pretty hands. The way his delicate thumbs maneuvered the joystick of the controller sent your mind into a daze.
“Hold up, Hee, I’m gonna put you on mute for a sec,” Jungwon said, handing you his controller before mouthing the words “play for me” with a catty smirk. He adjusted his headset over your head, bringing a finger up to your seal your lips. “Shhh,” he warned.
You knew Heeseung wasn’t actually on mute because there was an open mic symbol on the corner of the screen.
What’s he up to now?, you wondered.
Kneeling between your legs with greed, Jungwon’s fingers tiptoed to the waistband of your shorts. He paused before asking, “is this okay?," and you simply nodded in response. He smiled, tugging your shorts and underwear past your hips, knees, and ankles, stuffing them under the sofa.
He gawked at your wetness, your lips swollen with need. Heeseung started the match, and that’s when Jungwon started taking kitten nips at the sensitive flesh between your thighs, leaving a few marks. He blew at your heat before finally using his fingers to explore your folds.
“Cute,” he must’ve noticed the way your pussy pulsed in anticipation. Attaching his lips to your throbbing clit, he sucked it into his mouth, alternating with his fingers when breaking for air. He hummed at your taste, adding to the pleasurable sensations.
You tried focusing on the game for Jungwon’s sake, but you couldn’t resist the urge to reach for a handful of his hair and gently grind against his face.
“You’re doing so good for me, baby, just stay focused,” he said in between slurping at your wetness that never sounded so foul til now.
Did he just call me baby?
He inserted a finger into your tight hole and started pumping in and out of you, curling up to stimulate your g-spot. You were struggling to keep your moans in, rolling your eyes to the back of your head as he finger-fucked you. He looked up, noticing that you had fully abandoned the controller. “Keep playing or I won’t let you finish,” he purred.
“Fuck,” you panted quietly, how do you expect me to do that?”
“Don’t make me repeat myself, ____.”
You picked up the controller and started playing again. Heeseung was now swearing over the mic like a madman. “Bro, you’re really not helping out our stats here by letting the enemy clap your cheeks,” he scolded, but you weren’t really paying attention to his voice anyway. Jungwon dove back into your heat, licking rough stripes against your clit as he inserted a second finger. “Mngh,“ you mumbled dizzily, clenching around him.
“What?” Heeseung asked confused, having heard your noise.
You reached to mute the headset, but Jungwon gave you a look that told you not to test him. You gave in, and succeeded in holding back your whimpers, but your heavy breathing continued.
“Dude, I’m literally never playing the game with you agai- HOW THE FUCK DID I JUST GET DIED?”
One last thrust of Jungwon’s fingers, and you were finally coming undone, shaking from the intense wave of pleasure that washed over you. Slender fingers glided in and out of your needy hole, his knuckles adding to the delightful stretch. The match ended shortly after you came down from your high.
Jungwon licked his fingers clean of you and swapped the controller back. “Sorry about that, hyung. I was eating and didn’t wanna disturb you,” he lied, readjusted the headset on himself.
“Well, I hope it was worth it. Our team forfeited on some elite rewards.”
“You’re welcome,” he teased, which you didn’t know if it was meant for you or Heeseung, because he leaned in to kiss your lips softly, before going in for another match.
Still feeling your orgasm fresh in your viens, you reached under the couch to grab your shorts and underwear, putting them on and getting up from the sofa.
“Hey, what’s up,” Jungwon asked while taking a spoonful of the half-melted sundae into his mouth.
“I-I’m just gonna shower... and maybe go to bed after.”
“Alright. Me and Hee are gonna play one more match and I’ll be in after you. Don’t take long!”
"Dude, you’re abandoning me already? I thoughtyou were gonna help me take these punks to skill-ville," Heeseung whined over the mic.
"You need to immediately repent for saying that," Jungwon cringed.
You made your way to his bathroom with a change of clothes, closing the door behind you.
You entered the shower, trying to wash off the growing heat between your legs and any dirty thoughts associated with your roommate. A few minutes in, you also decided to wash your hair as it had been a week since that last time you did.
That’s when you heard the door open and close, followed by the sounds of clothes being removed and tossed on the bathroom floor. You peeked from the shower curtain, only to find a naked Jungwon standing right there. He didn’t notice you looking, so you pushed the shower curtain back.
“The shower is occupied at the moment, Wonie!”
“I know,” he smirked, entering the shower from the opposite end as if this was yet another casual ordeal.
“May I,” he asked, pointing to the spot you were standing at in the shower. “Oh, sure” you replied, trying not to make things awkward. He reached for the bottle of shampoo and started lathering the honey scented product in his hair and skin. You tried to avoid taking anymore peeks at his toned body so you busied yourself with a loofa and cleansed your skin for what felt a hundred times. By now, you sat idly in the corner of the shower, with bubbles waiting to be rinsed from your body. “Here,” Jungwon motioned for you to return to your original spot. “Thanks,” you said. “Would’ve been nice if you said that earlier,” he poked.
Oh shit.
“Here, let me help you,” he offered, rinsing off the soapy suds that painting your shoulders and back. Somehow, this gesture relaxed you. “Now turn around for me.” You faced him with a chest covered in bubbles. He quickly rinsed your breasts before lowering the shower head to your private, adjusting the water pressure from low to medium.
You could hardly stand up straight from the pressure building up at your center. The throbbing sensation between your legs travelled up to your quivering lips. You moved a hand to cover your mouth, hiding your lewd sounds. Jungwon didn’t mind though, because your squirming is what excited him the most. “Hold still, ____,” he teased, putting the water pressure on high.
Bracing your balance with his free arm, his soft lips met your damp neck, nibbling at the skin. The sensation was so sweet that you finally let your moans out. Developing a mind of its own, your hand reached down to stroke Jungwon’s hardness, a lustful look staining his features.
He groaned into your ear, making you feel more than half crazy. You felt your climax creeping up on you as it became harder to stand up or keep still. Starting to pump him faster, both of you were now on the verge of bussing.
A little voice in your head slapped you back into reality.
This has to stop! He’s my roommate!
You turned the water off from the faucet on the wall, retreating your hand from his member as if it tased you. Grabbing a towel from the curtain rod and covering yourself, you left Jungwon alone in the bathroom.
You went to your room and started to dry yourself off. You couldn’t quite wrap your head around what was happening but a part of you liked it and another part knew it was inappropriate.
You just touched Jungwon’s dick, and yes, it felt really fucking nice, but the thought will likely haunt you til the day you die. He was a good friend of yours, and you didn’t wanna let fleeting feelings ruin it.
You put on the scented lotion from your nightstand followed by your clothes before plopping in your bed. You didn’t bother locking your door because you never had you to worry about Jungwon intruding your privacy. Or at least, that was before today.
You buried yourself under the covers before a trail of footsteps made their way from the bathroom to your bedroom door.
Creak.
The door opened and closed.
Click.
He locked it.
Walking over to your bed, Jungwon sat behind you.
“I know you’re awake, so stop pretending,” he whispered in your ear.
Annoyed, you threw the covers off your head, giving him an exhausted look.
“What do you want, Jungwon? Huh?”
“I could always just show you,” he said, flashing you the sluttiest eyes you’ve ever seen on a man.
“You could’ve waited for me to finish up in the shower before barging in like that.”
“No, I really couldn’t.”
“We’re roommates, Won! Hell, we’re friends!”
“And? What does that have to do with anything?”
“You can’t just fondle my tits whenever you want to, or eat me out on the couch when you’re bored, or join me in the shower because you’re impatient.”
You let that sink in for a moment.
“Did you not like it when I did those things to you? Did you not like the way I made you feel,” he inquired, inching closer towards you on the bed. “Because the way I remember it, you never told me to stop.”
The room fell so quiet that your heartbeat sounded loud.
He reached over to grip your thigh, leaning in for a kiss before shoving his tongue past your lips, but you pulled away.
“Jungwon stop!” You reprimanded, turning your head from him.
He grabbed your chin and proceeded to kiss you.
“Jungwon, I said stop...”
“I can tell you didn’t mean it.”
He continued kissing you, shoving his hand into you panties and going straight to your pussy, sliding his digits up and down your moist folds, sending an ache through your stomach.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so wet for me.”
He called you baby. Again!
He didn’t waste any time to rub circles around your sensitive bud, causing your hips to jerk toward him.
“Stop it!” You raised your voice, pushing him away by his throat. Your hand never looked so small til now.
“Then make me.”
“What?”
“You know I don’t like repeating myself, ____.”
Darkness waved over both your features as you pressed his back flush against the bed, reaching for his drawstring and pulling his sweat pants down. He wasn’t wearing any boxers, so his pink tip sprung up, clear fluid leaking from the tip.
You grabbed his dick, giving it a firm stroke before grazing your teeth down his shaft, eliciting the prettiest whimper you’d ever heard from his mouth. The texture of his veins ran against your tongue as you took half of him into your mouth, using your hand to stimulate the base.
Your head bounced up and down as Jungwon grew dangerously desperate. Tapping your cheek, he guided you off of him to take a breath. Cradling your head in his grasp, he slid you back down until your lips reached his pelvis. “Hollow your cheeks for me, and breath through your nose,” he guided before using your head to please him. Your eyes began to water as his tip hit the back of your throat, causing you to gag a few times, but he ignored it.
“I’m so close, baby, just keep taking me,” he nearly begged, chest heaving as he screwed his eyes shut, “Be a good girl for me, mmm,” he grunted, picking up the pace.
You were getting used to being called “baby” by now.
“F-fuck,” he whimpered, bursting his load into your mouth. He lifted your head from his throbbing heat, using a thumb to wipe the cum that dribbled from the corner of your mouth. You went back down to taste his release, only for him to guide your head away.
“Don’t eat that, ____,” he giggled, but you swiped a finger to collect some of his cum anyway.
“It’s only fair, Wonie. Now we’ve both tasted each other.”
You went to the bathroom to wash your hands, coming back with a few tissues to help clean him up. Something about this dirty moment seemed so pure. So right.
“Okay, I’m going to bed for real this time, see you tomorrow,” you smiled, getting under your covers.
“You don’t expect me to go back to my room, do you,” he asked, giving you a look.
“Well, tonight, I’ll let it slide, but if you end up breaking your bed, don’t expect visitation privileges.”
“Thank you,” he let out a breath, smiling as he snuggled under the covers beside you.
“Jungwon?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think Heeseung has any idea about what we did?”
Ding.
Jungwon’s phone vibrated in his pocket:
Text Message from “Heenis” — Jake ditched me for a hoe 👍🥲 wanna call?
A mischievous smirk poked at the corners of Jungwon’s lips, “He can find out.”
“WONIE, IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER, I SWEAR YOU’RE SLEEPING IN YOUR OWN BED TONIGHT!”
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❁ if y’all can’t tell already, i am dangerously jungwon biased…
❁ anyways, thanks for reading “Joystick” by @chlorinecake! be sure to check out more works by me on my enhypen bookshelf!
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skylarsblue · 10 months
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✦Incorrect C.O.D Quotes, since AO3 is down✦
Gaz: I wanna know what exactly your type is. Y/N: I'm not just gonna give you more fodder to throw at me- Gaz: I have an idea of it already, but I want details! Y/N: No! Gaz: Like- König! Would you- Y/N: Of fuckin’ course I wanna fuck König! He’s huge, he could LITERALLY snap me in half and my dad didn’t love me, of course I want him to fuck me! Soap: *does that weird inhale-choke-cough*
— (Dick mention + a woman’s experience of a dude making gross comments. It’s funny I swear-) Fem!medic!Y/N: most of the time, people are pretty nice and sometimes impressed when when I bring up I’m a medical professional. Other times…eh.. Soap: Eh? Y/N: Sometimes you get conspiracy theorists. Soap: Ohhhh… Y/N: Some evangelists, gross dudes. Gaz: Gross dudes? What’s the worst you’ve heard? Ghost, sipping a whiskey: This outta be good. Y/N: Uh, once I told this man hitting on me I was a field doctor? He said, and I quote. “Been awhile since my last check up, mind checking me for ball cancer.” And I- Gaz: WHAT Soap: YOU’RE KIDDING Y/N: I am not. I just- I walked away. Price: Fuckin’ hell. Y/N: It’s fine. He got shot in the dick next mission, ended up with a male doctor. Ghost: Karma at its best.
- Graves: Oh FUCK YOU Y/N: Tsk, oooo…you don’t have enough money for that. Soap: HAHA!
- Soap, drunk: Back Street’s back, alright! Do do do do- Gaz, drunk on Price’ shoulders: Dodooodo- Price: Simon, get your boy. Ghost: *picking Soap up by his belt, carrying him like a bag* Yes sir.
- Recruit: When you gonna stop giving me blue balls? Gaz: Whoa hey!- Y/N: Aight, I got my steel toes on. How bout we make’em black and blue? Recruit: I- Y/N: Shut the fuck up. I’ve already turned you down, get a hint. Word of advice? Rather than shoot for the stars, maybe shoot your shot in your lower bracket, yeah? Recruit: Gaz: Someone get a fire extinguisher, this dudes been burned. Soap: On it. *sprays recruit with fire extinguisher*
- Soap: Nice onesie, does it come in men’s? Gaz, in his pyjamas: I think you cum enough in men for the all of us. Soap: ACK- Ghost: *slides out of the room*
- Ghost: Have you ever considered, just once, using your brain first? Soap: Now why would I do that?
- (Insert random name I HC for Laswell’s wife) Kate, after being in a bad explosion and ending up in this hospital: My wife, she’ll get upset if she sees you rubbing me like that on my chest. Diana: I am your wife. Kate …. Diana: :) Heart rate monitor: BEEPBEEPBEEPBE- Kate Hi. Diana: Hehe, hi. Gaz, in the corner: Oh to be in love. Soap: This is disgusting, why can’t I have this? >:,( Gaz: Cause your type in men is awful. Soap: Hey!
- Y/N: *walks into common room* Hello, I am very upset. I feel a meltdown coming on and you are all buff men, so I would like to request being picked up and held like a baby for a short period of time, please. Soap: Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you? Y/N: Nope. König: ….*slowly approaches and picks Y/N up from under their arms* Y/N, clinging to him like a koala and hiding in his shoulder: Thank you, I appreciate you. König: *awkward back pat*
- König: :) Y/N: Bloopbloopbloopbloop- Horagi: Y/N! Y/N: What? Horagi: Tha-That is our colo-that is a dangerous man! Y/N: He’s not a dangerous man! Horagi: What are y- Y/N: We’re bloopin’! Bloopbloopbloop- König: -w-
- Price: Kid, I need you to- Gaz & Y/N: *dancing like they don’t have jobs to do* Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: Fuck it up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: Fuck it up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: That’s what’s up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: I’m in love! Price: AHEM Gaz: Oh shit- Y/N: HEEEYY captaaaaiinn, what’s uuupp ahaha… Price: *sigh*
- (Based on; Me if COD was real. Deadass. Full serious. I am not kidding) Gaz: So have you met the Captain yet? Y/N: No. Gaz: Are you nervous? Y/N: No no, I have a firm belief that they’re just people. Obviously I’ll respect him as a superior but that’s nnnnnnnnwho the hell is that? Y/N: *fucking breaking their neck* Gaz: Oh- Nope. No no, THAT is Captain. Don’t think about it. Y/N: I’m thinking about it. Gaz: That’s not allowed. Y/N: Ive done worse for less, if he asks I’m sucking it, you can’t stop me. Gaz: Jesus Bloody Christ- Y/N: Tell him to call me when he’s on leave. Gaz: Stop-
- König: *walks in* Ghost: ?? Soap: Oh, hey! Gaz: Y’a need somethi- König: *picks up Y/N under his arm while humming, leaving the room* König: I love stealing, I love taking things!~ Ghost: What the f-
- Colonel!König: I’m 42 so, I don’t- Y/N: YOU’RE 42?! Colonel!König: Yeah. Y/N: …it’s okay no one has to know babygirl~ König: NEIN! Nein, don’t call me babygirl!-
- (Based on this awful Gaz outfit I saw on Twitter) MILF!Y/N: *doing paperwork* Gaz: Would you date me? Y/N: Baby we couldn’t even get a drink together. You can’t buy me nothin. Gaz: What do you mean? :( Y/N: Look at your outfit! What are you wearing? Gaz: I think I look pretty fly. Y/N: For who, your mom? Gaz: :((
- Gaz: STOP DATING MY CAPTAIN Y/N: ….you know what, I’m gonna start dating him even harder. Gaz: What’s that supposed to mean? Y/N: You know what it means.
- MILF!Y/N: *shoving apple juice into a cart* They gon’ need nutrition. Laswell: How many kids do you have? MILF!Y/N: Eleven! Laswell: So I’m assuming your kids really like apple juice? MILF!Y/N: No but they looove orange juice but they’ve been bad this week. Laswell: What grade are your kids in? MILF!Y/N: Sixteenth grade. Laswell: PFFT Sixteenth- that’s not even a grade! So your kids graduated college? MILF!Y/N: No they, they- …where are my kids?
- (Her “kids” on the other side of the store) Price: Boys please- Gaz: I AM NOT LOSING! Soap, in a fuckin’ headlock with him: Yes you fuckin’ are!! Ghost: *slipping cookies under his mask, he did not pay for them* König: *looking for a fruity snack* Horagi: *grabbing as many packs of spicy chips as he can* Alejandro: This is a disgrace. *holding up frozen burritos* Rudy: These are worse. *motions to frozen tamales* Alex: Did you know you can use coke as rust remover? Farah: …and you want to drink it??
- Y/N: So. Kyle. Gaz, already afraid: …yes? Y/N: I found some of your old playlists… Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Y/N: You an emo? Gaz: I was a SCENE as a teenager, get it right.
2K notes · View notes
empresskylo · 11 months
Text
ೃ⁀➷ call of duty incorrect quotes
⋆。°✩ all featuring gn!reader insert ⋆。°✩ AUTHOR'S NOTE | hopefully these aren't cringey lol, i pulled most of them from pinterest. i just thought they'd be fun. let me know if you'd want to see more.
cod masterlist | main masterlist
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soap: *bursts into the room, starts panicking* ghost: you: ghost: what happened? soap: no one died you: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER–
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gaz: have you heard the joke about the gaslighter? soap: no... gaz: no, you definitely have. soap: no I haven't. gaz: you've literally heard it before. soap: no i haVEN'T gaz: yes you have soap: I DON'T KNOW IT?!? gaz: you're crazy, man. ghost: *hiding his smirk* you: *giggling beside ghost*
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soap: I just fell– you: from heaven? soap: no, like I literally just fell– you: in love with me? soap: my fucKING ARM IS BROKEN you: okay, but do you think i'm pretty? be honest.
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you: i sleep with a dagger under my pillow. gaz: weak. I sleep with a gun. ghost: you're both pathetic. you: oh?? and what do you sleep with? ghost: soap. you: *spits out drink*
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you: what are you, 5? konig [snorts]: yeah, 5 heads taller than you. you: konig: konig: I'm sorry, please don't kill me.
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you [on the phone]: uh... price? price [tired]: is the base on fire? you: well...no? price: then it's not an emergency price: *hangs up* gaz: WHAT DID HE SAY? you: he said it's not an emergency. soap [pinned under a cabinet that ghost and alejandro are trying to get off him]: HOW IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY
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ghost: i invited you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game. you and soap [both nodding]: knife monopoly. ghost: i was actually going to hunt you for sport but now i'm interested in whatever the fuck knife monopoly is.
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ghost: *is carrying all the groceries* you: *holds out a hand to help* ghost: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold your hand*
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you: can you keep a secret? ghost: do you know anything about my life? you: no, i do not. good point.
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[you and ghost texting] you: where are you? ghost: turn around ghost: no the other way ghost: wrong way again you: ghost, where exactly are you?? ghost: at base, but the thought of you turning aimlessly in circles amuses me.
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soap: go big or go home! you [tears in your eyes]: i am begging you, soap. for once in your life, go home. please. just this once. go home. ghost: *nods in agreement* soap: i'm going big!
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soap: hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? you: peonies, why? soap: you: were you going to get me flowers? soap: you: soap: it's a possibility...
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you: why are you smiling? price: what? can't I just be happy? soap: gaz tripped and fell in the parking lot.
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ghost: i wish i could block people in real life. you: restraining order. soap: murder. gaz: jesus fucking chr–
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you: so you don't have a thing for anyone at the moment? soap: well... i didn't say that. you: oh. what's she like then? soap: you're just gonna assume they're a 'she'? you: are they– you: are they not a girl? soap: *gay panic*
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ghost: i made tea. you: i don't want tea. ghost: i didn't make tea for you. this is my tea. you: then why are you telling me? ghost: it's a conversation starter. soap [looking between you two, confused] you: that's not really a conversation starter. ghost: oh, it isn't? we're conversing, aren't we? checkmate. you [scoffing]: well it's a lousy one then. ghost: never said it wasn't. you: *looking at soap* soap: *looking at you*
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price: what does 'take out' mean? alejandro: food. gaz: dating. soap: murder. you: it can mean all three if you're not a coward. ghost: soap: gaz: price: you: what?
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ghost: look, i know you think my judgment is clouded because i like soap a little bit. you [holding ghost's notepad]: you doodled your wedding invitations. ghost: no, that's our joint tombstone. you: oh, right, my mistake.
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konig: hello, welcome to our first debrief. konig: today we're talking about... you [whispering]: building loyalty. konig: killing royalty. you [under your breath]: oh my god.
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ghost: i am a very bad person. very very bad person. i am a horrible person. soap: you: gaz: ghost: "no you're not, ghost! we still love you, ghost!"
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apomaro-mellow · 5 months
Text
Every Baby Needs a Daddy 4
Part 3
"And you said yes?", Robin said, her voice impressively even.
"I did", Steve said, phone on speaker as he got ready for work. "I figure, if he's going to have a sugar baby, might as well be me, right? I think this is the universe giving me a break."
"Okay, yeah, sure, until he takes you out and gets you involved in like drugs or something, or takes his anger out on you when he doesn't win a Grammy or something. Or worse, you're a mistress and his actual spouse comes for revenge. OR you actually get really involved with him, help him get even more famous, have very talented children, but then his drug running gets you arrested and when you get out of jail he acts like he doesn't know you and estranges your children!"
Steve paused in putting on his shoes, grinning. "You've been watching Empire."
"Terrence did Taraji so dirty Steve."
"But not enough to learn their characters' names. I need you to catch up so we can watch season 2 together." It hurt being away from her. Before, whenever one of them started obsessing over a show, they could literally sit down and put aside one of their days off to binge a bunch of episodes.
"Sorry, let's get back to you dating a rockstar? Steve? Steve."
"We're not dating. He's just gonna text me whenever he wants to fuck. That's it. He might buy me something nice from time to time." Steve grabbed his keys and went out the door, nearly stepping on something left on the floor in front of it.
"Okay, yeah, sure, but isn't this the reason you cut your parents out? Did they want this exact life for you?", Robin asked.
"No, this is totally different. For one thing, Eddie doesn't want commitment. He doesn't want kids out of me. And even if I attend events with him, I'm just arm candy, but you know, in a good way."
"There's a bad way to be arm candy?"
Steve thought back to the functions he had to go to when still under his parents' thumb. There was definitely a bad way to hang off someone's arm like a decoration. He looked to the little box in his hand. No note, but it had clearly been placed in front of his apartment.
He opened it and found an expensive looking watching inside. The face was a cool navy blue color. He didn't need a card to know who it was from.
"Eddie's different from the guys my parents wanted", Steve said. "And when it's over, I'll at least have something to show for it."
"Just don't be stupid about this, dingus. If this goes sideways, I won't be close by to save your ass."
"Noted", Steve said as he closed the box and continued on his way to work.
-------------------
The next time Eddie texted him, it was to go to lunch. It was a more casual setting than before, but still a pretty high end sushi restaurant.
"I must admit, I called you here under false pretenses, Steve", Eddie said as they sat in a booth.
Steve smiled at his serious tone. "I gathered, given our whole arrangement." Being taken out somewhere was typically a prelude for something intimate later, even in a normal relationship. When Eddie asked him out, Steve full expected sex. He wasn't complaining, last time had been very nice. He wondered how long until Eddie sent a simple 'u up?' booty call.
"I have to attend some fancy lunch meeting in a couple days and they're taking us to a sushi place", Eddie started to explain. "Problem is, I hate sushi."
"...Did you...are we here to train your taste buds or something?", Steve asked.
Eddie nodded. "These are some pretty important people and I can't sit there and tell them my favorite fish is whatever they use for fish sticks."
"Pretty sure it's cod."
"What? Nevermind. I just need to get one of everything and force myself to acquire a taste for it", Eddie said, eyes narrowing in focus at the menu.
Steve smiled. It was cute how serious he was being. He thought back to previous gatherings when some alpha would try and force a drink on him or when the hors d'oeuvres being served weren't to his liking.
"Want some advice?", he offered, continuing when Eddie nodded with his big Bambi eyes, "Instead of forcing yourself to like something, you should be able to say why you don't like something."
"Sounds like complaining", Eddie said, putting the menu down.
"No, you sound cultured", Steve clarified. "Watch." He cleared his throat and held up his glass of water. "Thank you for offering, but I only drink water from a natural spring. I prefer Canadian or Icelandic, but I'll take Swedish if you have it. Nothing from Switzerland though, it has this horrid mineral after taste to it." He set the glass down, adjusting under Eddie's wide eyed gaze.
"I don't know if that was bullshit or not but it sounded legit."
"It's legit what some girl said at a party once. I've never sourced where my water came from, but it works for just about anything. If you can articulate why you don't like something, it comes off better than just saying you don't like it."
"What kind of parties did you go to?", Eddie smirked.
Steve shrunk a little. "Just, you know, parties. So what's your experience with sushi?"
"Supermarket stuff", Eddie said simply.
"....You're kidding. How long have you been a rockstar?"
"I didn't realize this was an interview."
Steve tapped the table as he considered something. He looked to the other part of the restaurant. The bar where chefs were preparing the food. He almost asked Eddie a question directly, but remembered his role as a sugar baby. It wasn't his job to ask how much something would cost or even to ask Eddie to spend the money. All he needed to do was ask for what he wanted.
So he moved over to Eddie's side of the booth and leaned in close to his space. "I think you need something a little more...fresh."
"Fresh?", Eddie echoed as Steve led him to stand.
"And flavorful."
"Uh-huh."
"And satisfying", Steve whispered the last part before sitting down at the bar.
Eddie didn't know when Steve got him here but he did and he ordered something called 'omakase' and suddenly the chef's hands got really busy. He put a little filet of something on rice and then took a blow torch to it.
"I didn't know you could cook the fish..."
It was placed in front of him, but Eddie was still skeptical, which Steve noticed.
"'Omakase' means you're trusting the chef to pick out the best for you", he said. Then Steve took his chopsticks and picked up his piece. He ate it in one bite and Eddie subconsciously swallowed as he watched it pass his beautiful lips and then slide down that gorgeous throat. He wasn't even eating sexily, that was just how far gone he was.
Then Steve picked up Eddie's piece and held it to his lips. Eddie didn't even hesitate to open up and let it in. Tender rice, delicate fish, a total opposite to the sushi he'd experienced before. And it didn't stop there. The chef served cut after cut and each time, Steve asked him what he liked or didn't like.
Eddie was no slouch when it came to language. So he was able to come up with that on his own. He had just never considered respectfully refusing food and to do so with a haughty air deserving of a celebrity.
"Mmm, great choice on the shrimp", Eddie praised the chef. "Texture is superb. Sweet on the tongue too. Nice one, Tatsuro-san."
"Better than the crab?", Steve asked.
"I'm sorry, but nothin' beats an old fashioned crab boil for me. It's the only way I can eat crab."
"You've got opinions and you know how to voice them. I never imagined that be an issue for you, but I think you're ready now."
"Oh I've got opinions out the wazoo. I was just taught to never complain about food."
"Good boy", Tatsuro commented as he prepared something else.
"Very good", Steve agreed as an oyster on a half shell was put in front of him and Eddie.
Tatsuro winked at Eddie and he tried not to think about it as they finished up the course. He was absolutely not thinking about how oysters were an aphrodisiac, or how he'd had a great time, or how this felt like a date and not an outing with a hot piece. He wasn't doing a good job of being a sugar daddy, was he?
Time to fix that up right away. He paid for the meal, leaving a generous tip and led Steve out the restaurant, arm around his waist.
"You were extremely helpful. I can honestly say I like sushi now", he beamed. "And I think excellent service deserves a reward."
"You gonna give me a tip too?", Steve teased. And there was certainly a tip Eddie wanted to give him. Really the whole thing, but he had another idea in mind. And thankfully the appropriate place wasn't too far from here.
"You're buying me a suit?", Steve realized as they walked into a tailor's.
"I've got an eye for these kind of things. And you need something to match your new watch", Eddie said. He had a feeling Steve knew what to do, so he let him free.
Steve gave him a look and Eddie made a 'go on' motion. So Steve went, picking out different pieces for himself to assemble a new suit. There was a man awaiting any need of assistance and did so once Steve came out of the dressing room and stood in front of the mirrors.
Eddie was sitting before him, watching as Steve appraised his reflection and the tailor took some of his measurements. The suit was in silver, with a black shirt underneath. He finished of the look with a dark blue handkerchief in the chest pocket. It already looked great. Eddie knew he'd be breathtaking once it was bespoke. He ached to put his hands on him but public decency kept him from doing so.
"You look good enough to show off", Eddie praised.
"You look like you have somewhere in mind", Steve said, looking at the other man through the mirror.
"There's a shindig goin' down that I wouldn't mind having a date to."
Eddie put in the order for the suit to be done the day before the event. "Let's head back to my place."
This time, as they traveled, Steve was the one who couldn't keep his hands to himself. His hand stroked Eddie's thigh, getting close to where he wanted but never actually touching.
"What're you thinking about?", he asked when he noticed how hard Eddie was holding the wheel.
"Oysters. And you." And how he really should get a personal driver on hand.
Steve laughed softly and let a finger do circles on his crotch. "I think our chef was trying to be subtle. But I know what oysters are supposed to do."
"Oh?"
"And I don't need any culinary suggestion to get me in the mood." Honestly, he kind of felt like blowing Eddie now and probably would have chanced it if it wasn't still light out. "Can you be a good boy like he said?"
Eddie nodded.
"Good. Because we still have to take the elevator."
They didn't get as far as they did the first time they took this elevator but Eddie did attach himself to Steve's back and kissed at his neck. Once again, Steve could see their reflection in the wall. Eddie's eyes roamed his torso, wanting to go further but holding back. He only got bold enough to pinch a nipple through his shirt when the doors opened to their floor.
Steve only moved because of Eddie's prompting, finding it very easy to melt in his hold. They got about two steps out of the elevator before Eddie pushed him against the wall, kissing his lips and running his hands up under his shirt.
"Saw you lookin' at yourself in the elevator. Pretty baby likes how he looks?"
Steve's only response was to moan against his lips and rub against his leg. The closest camera was all the way at the end of the hall, though they'd be screwed if anyone opened up their door. He knew he looked good and liked looking good. And he'd seen the way Eddie's eyes were glued to him at the tailor's. That was a good feeling too.
Eddie took out his key card to open up his door and pulled Steve inside. They migrated to the couch, just needing to get horizontal. Steve lied underneath, Eddie's leg in between his again and providing friction as he rutted up against it. It was so hot, Eddie wanted to watch him get off just like this. If he got his pants off he could watch that sweet pussy drag-
Steve nearly jolted off the couch when a loud guitar riff sounded from Eddie's back pocket.
"Shit", Eddie hissed when he realized who was calling. He could ignore it, but he knew they'd just keep it up until they got to his door.
"You need to take that?", Steve asked, voice a little breathless.
"Just-just gimme a moment, it'll be quick." Eddie answered and Steve could be patient. He just couldn't be good and patient. He rubbed at Eddie's arm before taking his hand in his own. He brought it to his lips and swirled his tongue around his index finger, keeping his gaze down at first and then looking up at Eddie.
The man above him was speechless, up until whoever he was talking to shouted at him from the other end and got his attention again. Well, half of it anyway. The other half was on Steve sucking down two of his fingers now. Eddie groaned both in frustration and the beautiful man under him. Steve was only half following the conversation but it sounded like their time together might be cut short.
Eddie hung up with a sigh. "Baby...baby I gotta go."
"Right now?", Steve asked.
"Yeah but...but if you could, I mean you can stay here until I get done. It'll be quick, just a couple of hours tops. And I can take you out to dinner too."
"You want me to stay?"
Eddie's hair shook as he nodded. He stood up, glad he had a bit of time to calm his boner down. Then he saw Steve lying there on the couch, lips kissed wet and certain his lips farther down were just as glistening. He leaned over to cup him between the legs, feeling the warmth through his clothes.
"Don't forget who this belongs to", he growled when Steve whimpered.
"Okay." And because this man was sent from above, he whispered, "Daddy."
Eddie couldn't hold back then, kissing him hard, tongue marking his insides while rubbing Steve through his pants. He unzipped them, thinking he could just get him off quick when the ringtone sounded again. Pulling back was the hardest thing to do.
"Keep it nice and warm for me", Eddie said before fully removing himself.
"Hurry back."
And then Steve was alone. In a rockstar's hotel room. He thought about what a sugar baby might do when their daddy went off for what must be a very important but impromptu meeting, especially when it stopped such a heated moment. It became very obvious what he needed to do and so he headed straight for the bedroom.
Part 5
I need you to know that when I first envisioned this fic it was literally just supposed to be smut with connecting scenes but it somehow turned to "don't catch feelings" and "oops we're accidentally dating" the fic so here we are.
Tag Team
@awkotaco24 @lingeringmirth @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @tartarusknight @velocitytimes2 @mrsjellymunson @trashcanniballecter @marklee-blackmore @dragonmama76 @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie @sllooney @starman-jpg @oxidantdreamboat @xxbottlecapx @chaosgremlinmunson @newtstabber @tiny-enthusiast @desidrarry-wolfstarshipper @y4r3luv @hello-fellow-nerds @anonymousbandgirl @alyelf @potato-of-the-lord @beckkthewreck @greatwerewolfbeliever @croatoan-like-its-hot @pluto-pepsi
434 notes · View notes
n30nwrites · 3 months
Text
Fetch (Shifter! Tf141 x Male! Reader)
Chapter 4 of Good Doggy
Masterlist
Tw - Drunk Assholes (inspired by real stories from me :)), Slight blood warning, Language (its a COD fanfic??), OKAY SO LIKE I GUESS SLIGHT SUGGESTIVE STUFF?? I WANTED TO MAKE IT LONGER. A SMALL SCENE OF NSFW BUT NOTHING TOO DEEP BUT STILL PUTTING A WARNING, ITS IN BETWEEN THE NSFW GRAPHICS. Gaz has a praise kink.
Beta Reader/Editor - @letmelickyoureyeballs
Updated: 3/5/2024
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The bar is filled. It’s a Friday night, of course it is but you hate it. You don’t like dealing with assholes. Not after the conversation with Maya.
“I cannot serve you anymore. If you don’t decide to leave I will call the cops.” The man in front of you shouts profanity after profanity, angered by the law. Humans were stupid that way. “Here’s a water.” You slam it down, annoyed.
Idiots. Drunken idiots.
Yeah by Usher starts playing. The club you worked at was loud, you have ear plugs in just so you wouldn’t be overstimulated by everything, but you could still hear enough.
“Why do you have a mask on?” He's irritated already which means that this conversation will not end well. You usually strive to give your coworkers the assholes, not caring that he'll have to deal with it. 
"It's to stay safe, I don't want to get sick-"
The man cuts you off and you debate on spitting in his drink, "That's not gonna keep you safe, the only way to stay safe is to build your immune system." He keeps yelling, and some spit leaves his mouth. You place down the menu in front of him as he keeps yelling, "That's the only way to stay safe, not a stupid mask!" 
You walk away, going to your coworker and telling him to get his order cause if you do you'll be fired. You instead went over to the list of music that was going to play and put on a favorite song of yours, not caring for some disgruntled noise from other patrons as you bobbed your head to the beat, distracting yourself from the day you had.
"Ye lik' this song mo gaol?" It's the familiar accent and the way the hairs on your arms stand makes you more irritated. It was roughly 1 a.m. and most people would be tired. You'd reckon it would start slowly down in 20 minutes, which meant you could get some work done.
You turned to face Soap.
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"I'd hope so, I chose it." You tell him as you get closer to him. "You still stalking me?"
"Ah'ahmnot a stalker, juist wanted a drink." He smiles boyishly, as if he wasn't Sergeant John ``Soap" MacTavish with more confirmed kills than unconfirmed.
"At the bar I work at?"
"Juist a coincidence"
"I'd prefer it if you didn't lie to me." You told him while you mixed a drink. "You obviously have something for me."
"A'm in loue wi' ye"
"Not possible." You tell him, interrupting his "confession". You set the drink down in front of him. "$13" You tell him the price.
"I didnae orda a drink?" He looked cheeky, and you wished some part of you didn't find him attractive. But he looks up at you and you can't help but imagine other scenarios, particularly some where you're both naked.
"Well you can either pay for the drink and drink it, or pay for the drink and I'll drink it and talk with you some more." Soap immediately puts down two 20s.
"Th' rest can go to mah bartender." You slip the extra cash into your pocket, going to your POS system and breaking out for your thirty minute break that was required. You grabbed the drink on the counter and left your work area, Soap following behind like a puppy. You found a booth in the corner most people avoided. Sitting down at what could fit five others at most. Your mind goes back to Maya, who’s probably taking care of Icarus, your dog, and Marigold, her familiar. Maya worked as well, but it was an in-house job where she dealt with customers in need of assistance.
"You hurt our feelin`s earlier," He says first as you take a sip of the drink you made. "Hae we dane something tae offend ye?"
"Don't want to get your hopes up." You tell him, "I'm not one for soulmates."
"So ye know?"
"Of course I do. You reek of wolf." He starts to sniff himself and you want to laugh at how ridiculous it looks. "You wouldn't be able to smell it. And it's not a bad smell, just obnoxious cause there's four of you."
"So ye aren't human." 
"Nope, never was."
"What are ye?" You never felt shame in what you were. Didn't feel shame in general, it took Maya for you to start walking around in clothes. 
But you didn't want to tell him. 
"None of your business."
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Gaz knows that Price is going to talk about the bloodshed in the morning. He knows that Price already knows but doesn't care to stop it tonight. Price is just too drunk, Ghost doesn’t care, and Soap is who knows where. It wasn’t like he killed humans tonight, just some animals that were definitely going to get the town's attention (He might’ve killed a bear) but not the hunters.
He's decorated in blood and he loves it. It soothes some messed-up part of him. His teeth still have specks of flesh in it, that he licks clean
He smells you. Heavenly you. You who smells like some plant burning. He didn't understand it, but he loved it.
You're next to Soap, and Soap has the biggest grin as you walk together. 
Though you probably don't see it as together. You probably see it as him stalking you, but you don't seem to have your usual air of distaste. You have sunglasses on, something he hates cause he can't stare at them. Your mask is black, and you also have a hood on. You look perfect, he just wishes you were in his bedroom.
Preferably naked and-
Nope.
He kind of hates it at the same time though. Soap getting so close to you, still determined to find a way to be with you. Soap didn't lose hope, not like Gaz did. But he'd be damned if he didn't do something. He lets out a growl, standing menacingly as he runs forward, towards both of you, knocking Soap down as he growls at him, his teeth snapping. If Gaz doesn't get to be happy, Soap shouldn't either.
He just wasn't expecting your reaction.
"Get off him." He followed your command, staring up at you and following your eyes when you bent down to be eye level with him. "God you are so..."
"Cute." Your voice gets higher as you gently rub behind his ears, the blood not bothering you at all. Gaz almost forgets how you looked at him earlier, your words that cut him melted away and he just thinks he has a chance.
You loved dogs, who wouldn't? Even if that dog was actually a grown (hot) man. 
"Look who's such a pretty boy." You kept rubbing his head as Soap just stared in shock. "Such a handsome boy, who did you eat?" You coo at Gaz, who leans into your touch and praise, enjoying everything about this moment. Gaz has to take a moment to remember himself, that the praise you give him is nothing.
But he can't help but imagine scenarios in a different setting.
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NSFW Start
It's such a simple setting. In his room, the lights are low. He's flushed, shirtless and on the floor, while you sit above him.
"Can't you be a good boy for me?" You lick your lip before biting it, you stare at him, your eyes actually showing, looking at him with lust and love. A perfect combination, and your lips, god, you were perfect for him. "Come on, you know you want to." You lower your shorts and Gaz gulps, he stares at your cock, mesmerized.
"You're hungry for it, aren't you whore?"
NSFW End
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"Arr ye fecken' kidding me?" Soap says, breaking the peaceful moment, and Gaz's daydream. "A' it took wis a wolf fur ye to lik' us?" 
"I still don't like you all, but dogs are always a great company." You keep petting him, Gaz's eyes closing slightly, and Soap sits up. 
"Ah can do that toh." His accent gets thicker as he rushes to grab your hand, forcing it away from Gaz and instead putting it in his hair. Which was mostly shaved on the sides.
"You aren't a cute puppy right now." You yank your hand away.
"He's fooken' bloody!"
Gaz licks your face, and you slightly smile.
----
NEXT
Listen, hating people is one thing but I could never hate a dog, let alone a wolf. Reader still doesn't feel comfortable around the boys, but he does like the dogs.
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ghouljams · 9 months
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consider this... medieval!141
ghost who is a huge and intimidating knight for his gentle and kind princess
soap who is a thief who after he pickpockets you and accidentally stole a love letter you wrote to him falls for u
price who is the king who takes many women to bed but still hasnt found one for his heart but finds you who is absolutely not for his harem
i like history and beefy men so its a win win
God I have a medieval COD AU that I turned into original fiction and I am just... yeah. I'm gonna do something short for all the boys starting with Gaz since he got left out and ending with Ghost cuz he's my fave
Gaz is an advisor to the King, his quick wit and keen eye make him an excellent man to have on hand. He's always been more observant than is good for him, when he catches you pouring something into his evening drink he's furious. You're a favorite among the servants in the castle, a sweet little thing that he's had his eyes on and now your trying to kill him? You explain it's just a sleeping tonic, that you noticed he hasn't been resting well recently, but he makes you drink it yourself to prove you're not lying. You think maybe he knew what it was, the way his eyes follow the movement of your throat, the sly smile on his face when the tonic hits you drowsy. The soft kiss he places on your lips when he tells you how considerate you are, how good you are for taking care of him, more than makes up for his earlier anger. You're sent to bed aching for him.
Soap is a quick fingered rogue, more a mercenary for hire than a proper thief. Still, he has to pay the bills somehow and sometimes that means snagging a loose purse from a drunken noble. He spots you counting your coins carefully and slipping them into your pocket. He's careful not to knock you over when he bumps into you, conscious of his comparable size. When he catches you it's easy to pull your coins from your pocket, before sending you on your way. He pulls them from his pocket as he walks off, and finds smooth flat pieces of painted wood and rocks instead of metal. There's a crinkle of paper under his vest, and when he pulls it free it's a carefully folded love letter. Singing praises for the skilled fingers and pretty face of your favorite rogue, and warning him to keep those same fingers out of your pockets. Soap thinks he might be in love.
Price is a King, both lived and feared in equal measure. This is a throne that he's won, earned, not one that was simply passed to him. He's always ruled with the good of the people in mind, but that doesn't mean he hasn't enjoyed the benefits of rule. He tries to stick to widows and widowers, people that won't get him into trouble if they're found in his bed. Best not to bring anyone that might start having grand designs of marriage, or be considered "spoiled" after his nights with them. You're an emissary from a neighboring kingdom, quick witted, and not afraid to tell him your mind. You're only there to discuss trade, but he can't help trying to hold you in his keep a little longer. You're plied with wine and good food, your carriage is broken, your horses are sick, you're too hungover to leave. You take walks with Price and offer opinions on the state of his affairs, you find yourself drawn to him, waiting on his every touch. You can't help it if you wind up in his bed with a ring on your finger.
Ghost is your most devoted personal knight, and you are his dearly beloved princess. His every move is for you. His large hand closing around yours to help you out of carriages, help you down from horses, to offer stability as you enter ballrooms and rush up stairs. His touch always lingering, always just on the line of affectionate. He knows he shouldn't love you like he does, but he can't help it. You're always together, where you go he must follow. It's his duty, his privilege, his honor to be at your beck and call. Youve never said anything, but anyone can see you return his affections, of all the men that could escort you to events its always Ghost. The throne has stopped trying to set up meetings between you and potential suitors, it's pointless when Ghost is always there. Everyone assumes he's had you anyway. He hasn't, he would never deign to touch something as precious as you. Not that he doesn't want to, he fantasizes about it when he's alone, imagines all the ways he'd make you beg while he fists his cock, but he assumes that at some point you'll find a real match. Imagine how much it crushes him to hear you're getting married. Imagine his surprise when you tell him it's his wedding too.
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request. headcanons for simon price x reader who fucking DEMOLISHED their knees biking for several hours straight help me -🐉
so i know you probably meant Simon Riley x Reader but I'm just gonna do my own thing with this and give you both Simon and John hcs. A twofer if you will hehe x
(thank you for this im foaming for cod reqs)
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Simon "Ghost" Riley x GN!Reader hcs
Simon would think your complaining was the most annoying yet cutest thing ever. He'd for sure mock you (affectionately) about it, too.
"Poor baby, eh? Your poor legs are tired, oh, what a shame."
^ he says while massaging your muscles to help ease the pain for you. Despite his mockery, he's not going to just sit there and watch you in pain.
If you've got bruises on your knees he will kiss them better and go get you frozen peas out of the freezer to put on them.
"Don't need these swelling up on us, love."
Followed by him propping you up and making you both a cup of tea.
Don't get him wrong, though, he's still going to be making fun of you for the next several days and forcing you to stretch your muscles even when you don't want to.
In the morning he would run you a warm bath and tell you to get in. While you're in there, he'd make the two of you breakfast (it's terrible- Simon cannot make food, bless him)
Simon sets you both at the dinner table, takes one bite, spits it out and dumps both of your food in the bin. He tells you to stay put and goes into town to pick you both up food.
He'd offer to take you with but he seriously doubts that your knees would like the rumble of his bike.
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John Price x GN!Reader
John is much softer about it all. He'd come in and see you wincing and immediately ask what's going on.
After you tell him you went a little overboard on the biking, he'd chuckle and set you down on the benchtop, encouraging you to stop making dinner.
"Sit there a minute, gorgeous. Have you put ice on them yet? No, why not y'goose, eh? Alright, love. There you go. All better, yeah?"
He'd crowd in between your legs and hold the ice packs in place for you. He'd give you a couple cheeky neck kisses, chuckle gruffly into your neck when you gasp and then tell you to sit tight while he finishes making your dinner.
He'd hand you your dinner and you'd both eat it at the bench. You sitting on the bench happily chewing away (if a bit tired) and John leaning up against the cabinets.
Once you're both done, he'd put the dishes away and pick you up, delighting in your squabbling about how you can, in fact, walk, thank you very much, Captain Price.
He'd put you gently down on the lounge first before lifting your legs gingerly and sitting down with them in his lap. He'd put one of your favourite shows on and sit there quietly massaging your feet and legs.
"Sorry, darlin'- got to keep the blood flowing. I know it's uncomfortable now, but trust me, you'll thank me later."
He definitely falls asleep that way, hand still around your calf and head thrown back. Ungodly loud snores escaping him.
In the morning you're still sore, but it's not as bad as it was the night before and Price spends all day pampering you and taking care of you anyway.
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octopiys · 3 months
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Hi dear! I’m not sure if you still take quotes but I have one if you do.
“Maybe it’s an illegal Immigrate spider”
Incorrect Quotes as CoD characters
It's been a while ain't it
-
Soap: imagine Ghost just went up to Colonel König, y'know, cus they've never interacted before, and just says "I'm sexually attracted to you, and want to wear your skin"
Soap: how-
Soap: how do you think he'd respond?
Price:
The rest of the goddamn world:
Gaz: what the fuck goes on inside your head
-
Rodolfo: the bank man wasn't doing his job today, and now I'm behind in paperwork
Valeria: I have a solution
Rodolfo: please don't kill him
Valeria: I no longer have a solution
-
Soap: you know how in despicable me, Gru steals the moon?
Gaz, dreading the answer: yeah?
Soap, staring dead at Ghost: I'm gonna steal his straightness
Gaz:
Gaz: why
-
Price: oh look over there
Price: yep there it goes
Price: my final fuck to give
Price:
Price: farewell, fuck
-
Roach: how do you keep ending up in these situations?
Gaz, standing on a chair: because I don't like them, okay?
Roach: buddy you're it's roommate now
Gaz: nuh uh, spiders don't have roommates
Roach: where do you think it came from?
Gaz: I don't know
Gaz: maybe it's an illegal immigrant spider, trying to hide here for safety
Roach: and you want me to-?
Gaz: squish it. No safety here.
-
Soap: none of yall were dancing as hard as me, Alejandro, Rodolfo, and.... and König
-
Shepherd: and what do we say when life disappoints us?
Roach: called it!
Shepherd, shooting him: no.
Roach:
Roach: ...called it..-
-
Ghost: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Price: ... Your what?
Ghost: My friends.
Soap: is he saying “friends”?
Gaz: I think he's being sarcastic.
Alejandro: No, no, no, this is delirium, he's cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Ghost! All of your friends are in this room.
-
Alejandro: let's play rock paper scissors. You go first.
Graves: rock
Alejandro: paper
-
Ghost: Do you even know what an amulet is?
Alejandro: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions!
Ghost: Alejandro, those are omelettes.
Alejandro: Oh. Then I’ve got nothing.
-
Rodolfo: I'm gonna kill you
Graves: get in line!
-
Ghost: Pros and cons of dating me.
Ghost: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Ghost: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
-
Alejandro: Goodnight to the love of my life, Rodolfo, and fuck the rest of y'all.
-
Soap: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.
Horangi: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.
-
Graves: Oh no! I’m doomed!
Laswell: Seriously? All you have to do is not insult Soap at his own memorial service.
Graves: Exactly! It’s impossible!
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d10nyx · 3 months
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sneaking out of heaven pt.2
ft. leon kennedy x fem!reader
part one, part two
cw: parental abuse, religious themes, slight guilt, some fluff n some mean dad stuff :(( leon's a sweetheart, tho <3
a/n: omg a sfw drop from me that's... crazy... um... i'm not sure fluff is my strong suit ngl... was trying something new w this series but uh... yeah there's a reason i'm a smut writer i think lol... smut next chap tho maybe depends on if i make this three or four parts!!
word count: 1.4k words
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You've always hated Sundays. It's not God's fault. It wasn't the praying or devotion. It all came from one thing, and one thing alone - your father. The wooden pews made your back ache, and your thighs go numb, but he'd never let you miss a day. Broken limb, head cold… it didn't matter. Appearances were everything, so unless you were dead, you had to be there, and you had to be working hard to make the family look good.
You've never felt like you belonged in the Church, not really. Being the Pastor's daughter meant you were constantly under a watchful eye. Everyone knew your every move, and you couldn't afford to mess up. Your mistakes reflected poorly on your father, and your father didn't take kindly to being made to look a fool.
You haven't really felt like you belonged anywhere, not even in your own home.
But you found somewhere to belong now. You feel like you can fully relax and be yourself when you're with Leon. Growing up, you'd always been alone… but now? You spent more time in Leon's bedroom than you spent in your own house.
That's where you find yourself now, sitting cross-legged on his bed as you struggle to figure out how to work an Xbox. He's doing his best to teach you, trying not to laugh at the confusion gracing your features.
“Come on, princess. You can't be serious.” He says with a laugh as you send the camera spinning midway through another gunfight in COD. “Dude - just… just nudge the right stick. If you hold it, of course it's gonna do that.”
“I'm just… ugh, I don't get how you play this.” You huff, your head thumping lightly against the wall as you let it drop backwards. You don't realise Leon is moving until you can feel his warmth, his breath brushing your ear as he leans in.
“Look, lemme help you. I'll aim, and you shoot. Easy.” He whispers in your ear, tilting his head and resting his chin on your shoulder. His hand rests over one of yours on the controller, his thumb guiding the right stick.
You're not even paying attention to the screen anymore - you just hold down the right trigger and hope for the best as your eyes are locked onto Leon's pretty blue ones.
“See, princess? Your first kill.” He says with a grin, and you quickly snap out of your little staring session, your breaths coming out a little heavier than usual.
“Oh… oh, yeah! Cool, um… thank you.” You manage to force out, trying to calm the rapid beating of your heart.
“What's got you all flustered, huh?” He says with a teasing grin - why is he still so close to you? His hand reaches out to touch your cheek and tilt your head gently to face him when you attempt to look away, his thumb brushing your cheekbone lightly. “Is it me?”
You let out a short, nervous laugh, your eyes flickering to the side for a moment. All you can focus on is the heat of his palm, the way his calluses feel against your smooth skin. “You? No, come on. Don't be ridiculous.”
He blinks a few times as he looks at you, and then his grin widens. His eyes practically sparkle with excitement, his gaze flicking over your features. “Aww, it totally is me!”
You open your mouth to deny it, but then he's brushing his lips against your cheek, and you're sure your heart is about to burst. Looks like you'd be meeting God a lot earlier than you thought. Always thought dad would be the one to send you to Heaven.
“You're real pretty, you know that?” He breathes out, then he's leaning forward to kiss you. It's just a peck, but a whine builds up in your throat as he tries to pull away from you. Your lips chase his, and he's laughing again before he leans down to give you another kiss.
Your lips are clumsy as they move with his. Inexperienced. It's not your first kiss(only because the peck was), but your inexperience is clear. Your hands twitch, wanting to explore his body, but you're too scared to touch him. Too much, too fast.
So you settle for kissing him, but you are 90% sure you're about to go into cardiac arrest when his tongue brushes your lower lip. It feels dirty. Brings the same feelings of guilt to the surface that touching yourself does, and the same kind of feeling, too, because slick is building up in your panties, making them stick to your pussy.
Not that you have the courage to do anything about that though. You just shift awkwardly, uncrossing your legs and squeezing your thighs together as his hands slip down to your waist, tugging your body closer to his. His tongue brushes yours, and you try to meet it halfway, only to be a little too eager.
“Feels like you're trying to eat me.” He says with a chuckle as he pulls away, pressing his lips to your jawline. “Slower. A little less tongue. Otherwise, you're doing great.”
His lips are on you again a second later, and his tongue makes another appearance. You try to follow his instructions, your hands finally finding the strength to reach out and touch his arms. Wow. You didn't realise muscles like that were real. He's hard to the touch, making you shudder. Your hands wrap around his biceps almost curiously as you kiss him.
You lose track of time as you make out with him. Neither of you seem to want to pull away, and it's only the sound of his mom's footsteps coming up the stairs that has you both hastily scrambling to the opposite sides of his bed - especially considering she makes him leave his door open when you're there.
She offers to let you stay for dinner, and you really can't refuse. Not if it means more time with her son.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
When you come home from the Kennedy's house, the kitchen light is on. But it's past 6pm, so the light shouldn't be on. You've always had dinner at the same time every night for your entire life. You feel a sense of unease as you attempt to sneak past the doorway.
“Where do you think you're going?” A harsh voice calls out. Your father. You turn to walk into the kitchen, your head hanging in shame. A strong grip settles on your jaw, fingers digging in hard enough to hurt, but not enough to bruise.
He's smarter than marking you where it's visible.
“Where have you been?” He growls, dragging your face up to meet his eyes. Your mom is upstairs. You know she's awake, because you heard the creaky floorboard in her bedroom as you shut the front door. You also know she won't come downstairs, because she likes to pretend your dad is nice to you.
“The Kennedy's, sir. I didn't mean to come home so late, I… Mrs. Kennedy offered me dinner, and I just… I didn't think it would hurt. I'm sorry. It won't happen again.”
“Yeah, you're damn right, it won't. Don't you think you're a bit close to that boy?”
Your mind goes to the kiss, and you quickly avert eye contact. “Who? Leon? We're just friends, sir… I…”
“I don't believe that for a second.” He interrupts, his grip dropping from your jaw before he smacks you hard across the face, sending your head jolting to the side as tears spring to your eyes. “Proverbs 19:9.”
You swallow the lump in your throat, speaking up with a shaky voice. “A false witness will not go unpunished, and whoever pours out lies will perish.”
“Good. The boy hasn't knocked all sense out of you. Go to your room. I'm dealing with you tomorrow.”
A sinking feeling settles in your chest at his threat, and you slowly climb the steps that lead to your room. You don't even bother changing out of your clothes before flopping into bed, pulling the covers up to your chin.
Your cheek still stings, and you take a few deep breaths to stop yourself from crying. Your father hadn't stopped you from seeing Leon again, but it seemed he wasn't far from it. You'd have to tread carefully. You could sense another one of your father's blow ups building, and you didn't want to be on the receiving end.
Despite everything, as Leon's kiss comes to mind, your lips tug up into a small smile.
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shadow4-1 · 6 months
Text
Man Thoughts - Ghost Edition (SFW & NSFW)
Just starting a new lil' thing where I try to get into the many thoughts of the COD boys. It helps me write but it's also just kind of fun to characterize these dudes. (MDNI! NSFW Under The Cut)
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(These are thoughts Lt. would probably never voice to you, but are thinking in his head.)
-Who let you in 'ere? And why're you so bloody small?
-You're a medic? Tch, you're a lil' bird is what you are. Wouldn't last 5 minutes on the field.
-Price can't be serious about this. M' gonna be the one who has to carry your dead body to evac. Fuckin' hell.
* * * *
-You're funnier than Johnny, I'll give you that. Need t' work on your execution though. I c' hardly understand the joke if you're gigglin' all the way through the bloody delivery.
-You need t' learn to stop smilin' at men like that. Gonna attract some bad kind of attention. N' then m' gonna have to drag some poor sod off o' ya.
-This is gonna be a fun report to write for Price. M' sure he'll agree th' fucker deserved it fer layin' a hand on you like that.
-'F you walk 'n front of me one more bloody time m' gonna have t' grab a handful.
-Fockin' hell. It's a wonder you're not married with a fuckin' rack like that sittin' pretty on your chest.
-Yeah, that's non-reg soap I smell on you. Who're you tryna impress, lil' bird? Hidin' a new piece?
-Aren't thigh high socks an American thing? Either way you're a minx is what you are. Fuck. If you tempt me even a lil' I'm rippin' those straight off your legs.
-What is your obsession with breakin' dress code? I can see everything in those shorts, lil' bird. N' so can every man on base. Are y' lookin' to get dragged off n' fucked? Cause that's what's gonna happen if you don't put on some real clothes soon.
-How fuckin' forgetful are you? Here, just take m' fuckin' jacket, love. I can see your nipples peeking out through your shirt. Next time m' gonna make you flash me before I help you out again.
-Stop sayin' you stink, love. If I had m' way I'd lick you from cunt to ass right now. You smell fuckin' divine.
-So that's what your pretty little lips taste like. Wonder if the others taste the same.
-Wonder how many times I could make you come in one night. Look like a squirter, you do.
-Fuckin' brat. 'F Johnny wasn't here I'd bend you over my knee right now. Keep pushing m' buttons and see if I don't fuck you in the ass for it.
-You have no idea how bad I need you right now.
-If anyone else tries to see you like this m' a kill 'em. Only I can see your body like this. Fuck, you're perfect.
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