#And it ain't doin you any favors
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getting into a fight with billy and he pushes you against the wall, arm against your throat. he wants to be mad, to keep snarling in your face but he stops dead in his tracks when you moan. embarrassment surges through your body, taking the place of anger very quickly. "d'ya like this, hm?" billy smirks, finding yet another weakness he can use against you.
you struggle to get his arm off of you, but his muscles flex and hold you firmly in place. "fuck you." you cough out, barely able to find any air. butcher actually laughs this time, kicking your feet apart to slide his knee between your thighs. "i bet you’d love that, ya filthy little girl." he coos into your ear, breath ghosting over your skin. you can't help the strained whimper that leaves your constrained throat.
"are we fighting or fucking, butcher?" you snarl, gritting your teeth and trying to stand your ground but you can't deny the throb taking place between your legs. butcher relaxes the pressure on your throat in favor of pushing his body against yours. you can feel his cock digging into your hip, straining against the zipper of his jeans. "oy well, ain't that the million dollar question..." he grunts, and you're greatful that his body is reacting the same way.
"i do love me a good ol' hate fuck..." he mutters to himself before his lips crash into yours. its a frenzy to get his jeans undone and free his cock. unfortunately for you, your leggings weren't long for this world as butcher rips a hole straight through the crotch.
his hands quickly fly down your sides before landing on your hips. butcher's fingers dig into your skin, sure to leave puffy bruises in his wake as he easily lifts you up. it's almost insulting, the way he can just toss you around, but your body has thoughts of its own. in one swift move, butcher's pushing the thick head of his cock slowly inside your aching cunt. the stretch makes your thighs shake even while wrapped around billy's waist.
"aye, what a good little cunt..." billy groans, warmth enveloping his cock as your pussy takes in every thick inch. "fucking christ, billy." you whine, your arms coming around to dig into his back. he doesn't give you nearly enough time to adjust to his size, quickly bouncing you on his cock and using the wall as leverage. "what's that, love? too much cock for ya?" he teases, pushing impossibly deeper until the head of his cock has nowhere else to go.
you shoot him "shut up and fuck me, you perv." your words lack their usual venom, too turned on to bother with really insulting him. the amount of times you've thought about this exact scenario was maybe slightly embarrassing, but you can't say you're upset now that you finally have butcher balls deep inside of you. "aye, i never keep a lady waitin'..." he snickers, his lips finding the exposed skin of your neck and collarbone.
each nip of his teeth has your head spinning, pleasure and pain mixing in an incredibly intoxicating potion. you're going to have no good explanation for the bruises tomorrow, but all you can seem to care about is butcher's hand sneaking between your bodies to play with your swollen clit. "yer gonna sing pretty for me when ya cum on my cock, right princess?" he's pushing you to the edge, faster than you could have anticipated, your legs shaking with every tandem thrust and flick of his finger.
butcher's cock rubs so snugly against your sweet spot, your vision going blurry as the pleasure consumes you. "f-fuck you, billy." you gasp, back arched off the wall as he pounds your cunt relentlessly. he just chuckles, feeling the way your pussy flutters around him. "wouldn't wanna be doin' anythin' else right about now." the growl in his voice is enough to push you over the edge, stars exploding behind your eyes as the most intense orgasm you've ever had rolls over you.
you're left gasping, panting for breath as butcher keeps fucking your pulsing cunt. "fuckin' hell... just milkin' the cum out, ain't ya? ya want me ta fill this fuckin' cunt up, leave your poor pussy drippin'?" you whimper at his filthy words, clenching around his length as he puncuates every word with a thrust. butcher's groan is animalistic, coming deep from his throat as he releases deep inside of you. each thick rope of cum coats your fluttering walls before dripping down billy's legnth.
he holds you for a moment, panting as he rides out the pleasure. but the silent bliss only lasts for another moment before billy's hand is back around your throat. "don't think this gets you off the hook. still pissed about you lettin' that piece of shite live..." he grumbles, kissing your puffy lips before placing you gently back on your feet and turning his back to you.
you roll your eyes, leaning heavily against the walls as you regain feeling in your legs. "butcher i need pants!" you call as he goes to walk away from you, but he just gives you the middle finger over his shoulder while smirking, leaving you to find new clothes while still leaking cum down your thighs.
"what a fucking gentleman..." you groan.
#billy butcher x reader#william butcher x reader#butcher x reader#the boys#billy butcher smut#william butcher smut#butcher x reader smut#billy butcher x reader smut#william butcher x reader smut#the boys smut#the boys x reader#the boys imagines#billy butcher imagines#william butcher imagines#william butcher#billy butcher#the boys butcher#butcher smut#william butcher thirst#billy butcher thirst
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☁️könig x male reader(sfw)
☁️genre: fluff
☁️warning(s): könig thinking he's to heavy to be held
☁️a/n: just thought of this while i was taking a nap in the bathroom and imma just be doin small lil stuff to get back into writing(especially for smut imma do that split thing i did for cloud more)
both you and könig had a day. it wasn't bad, it wasn't good, it was just a day and it happned. the day was just draining all in all. both of the males having to work together as they both had to experience the drain of missions, almost having failed one of them do to some bastard who separated the both of you from the rest of the team.
all the both of you wanted to was simply lay down and enjoy eachothers company in any way possible.
after your shower, you lie flop down on the bed missing the soft like substance between your fingers and beneath your body. the shirt you had stole borrowed from könig felt comforting. though the both of you shared a room and were still in the same room, as you were simply waiting for him to get out the shower. it still felt nice the even have a bit of him with you after a day like this.
"scheiße, im tired.." You feel the bed dip in königs weight, resting your hand where his rested as he took his towel off his neck, setting it on the nearby nightstand keeping his hand on yours.
"könig, come lay down." you feel his hand slightly squeeze yours as he laughs lightly. "well, that's what i plan to do." you scoff rolling your eyes slightly tugging him.
"then hurry up." he sighs jokingly, while shifting himself to lay next to you as the two of you give eacother a loving look, the male in front of you started to scoot closer to give you a peck on the lips but you object placing a finger on his lips.
"hold on big boy, something ain't feel right i need you to do something for me." He raises an eyebrow in confusion as he waits for little favor.
"i want you to lay on me not next to me." the man was confused and taken back as no one really asked him to lay on them. "sorry?" You shuffle onto your back opening your arms as an open space for him to lay down on.
"schatz..are you sure? im a little-" "könig, i don't care. lay. down." nervously, he slowly makes his way into your arms. his head laying in your chest with his arms wrapping around your torso, his legs slightly bending up so they don't dangle of of the bed, a habit he picked up for some time.
"this alright?" your fingers slide through his hair slowly messaging through it.
"perfect, just perfect könig."
and then yall fell asleep together happily ever after YAY also please correct me for any german that isn't right so i can change it. @gaybitchfx @reallyromealone / @rome-alone @bloodyfennec @secretivemessenger @vyloy @devilswhore-emrys @lostsomewhereinthegarden
#x male reader#male y/n#male reader insert#könig x male reader#cod x male reader#cod x reader#fluff#könig x reader#könig fluff#cod x male reader fluff#male reader
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I'm sorry for what I'm about to do
LISTEN UP YALL, THIS SHIT IS IRONIC STRIDER'S BEATS ARE BEST SUITED TO TROLLS HOOKED ON PHOENIX!
KARKALICIOUS DEFINITION MAKES TEREZI LOCO SHE WANTS TO KNOW THE SECRETS THAT SHE CAN'T TASTE IN MY PHOTO
DYIN' JUST TO KNOW THE FLAVOR I AIN'T DOIN' HER NO FAVORS NO REASONS WHY I TEASE HER FLUSH JUST COMES AND GOES LIKE SEASONS
I'M KARKALICIOUS (SO DELICIOUS)NO, I DON'T DO KISMESIS AND IF YOU READ ANY FANFICS ALL THAT SHIT IS FICTITIOUS I BLOW KISSES (MWAH!)
IDK WHAT THIS MEANS
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The Dwarf's Apprentice
⚔️ For @dragetunge GOW Verse Hiccup ⚔️
"Absolutely fucking not."
Brok had sworn off anything to do with the Aesir after that damned incident with Thor. Fucking Mjolnir. If he'd had known what kind of havoc the God of Thunder intended to wreak with that thing - at Odin's behest no less - if he had known what it would have cost him, he would have chucked the very hunk of metal he'd just to forge the damn weapon into the deepest depths of Helheim itself.
He hid it well, though perhaps less so after his split with Sindri - but the guilt stayed with him. Knowing that he had helped forge such a weapon of destruction gnawed at him. And it very well might have eaten away at him completely had it not been for Laufey and the Leviathan Axe - the one weapon to match the hammer and potentially put an end to the drunken oaf's madness. It wasn't enough to make up for his hand in the slaughter. Seldom it was. But it was a start to putting an end to the madness and making things right.
And Brok had learned to live with that, hard as it was to swallow.
This on the other hand - this was not something he was willing to entertain. Not at first anyway. Of course, when it came to any sort of "request" made by Odin, it typically didn't come with much of a choice. And Brok had been fully willing to stake his life on standing his ground this time. At least, until the name Valka was mentioned. For as much as he despised the Aesir and their corrupted ways of doing things, he knew Valka was fair and just. A fine valkyrie whom he'd crafted a good many pieces of armor for with respect- though not so many weapons. She was a good woman, always trying to do the right thing. Where she was now, he did not know. But if for no other reason than to honor her, he agreed.
And he made that fact very clear.
"This ain't no favor for the All-Fucker or his General, y'hear? I'm doin' this in honor of Lady Valka. Make sure her little loin-sprout knows how to make himself a proper set of armor to keep himself safe, just the way she woulda wanted." The dwarf barked out gruffly, eyes fixed on the young boy before him. Without much more fanfare, he abruptly turned and began waddling into his workshop, waving at Hiccup to follow.
"Well, get a move on then! You got a lot to learn and I ain't holdin' your hand for it. The forge dies and you'll be the first one fixin' it up again."
#// i hope this works!#// i wanted to delve a bit more into the l.ore a bit for funsies#// lemme know if it's too much though and i'll tweak whatever details ya like#closed starter : now i escape to a world here with you#( cm : brok the dwarf )#mutual : all of my best friends#dragetunge#( v : god of war )
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Karkalicious definition makes Topher loco
He wants to know the secrets that he can't taste in my photo
Dyin' just to know the flavor
I ain't doin' him no favors
No reasons why I tease
His flush just comes and goes like seasons
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moiraills
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
(Four, three, two, fuck you)
#i live to make others suffer#do you dare me to make scudworth x hussie art? oh you do dont you 😈#JOKING JOKING ID NEVER DRAWNHUSSIE WITH ANYONE BUT HIS WIFE VRISKA#LIKE DUUUUH 🙄#homestuck#homestuck fanart#karkat vantas#clone high#clone high reboot#clone high 2023#clone high topher bus#clone high topher#topher bus
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The Ties that Bind
Reminder that Palestinians and Israelites both have thousands of years of history in Levant, including what is known today as Israel/Palestine. The only people who will deny the mutual history of both are looking to defame the other side of the coin for the purpose of making one side or the other 'superior'.
This mutual history is why the only good solution for Israel/Palestine is a two-state solution.
The problem, is that Israel is constantly harassing, harming, and displacing Palestinians where they currently live. And while we know Hamas had at one point (the 80s) called for Palestine to exist everywhere, they in fact accepted the idea of a two-state solution based on the 1967 borders, in 2017.
But Israel continues to harm Palestinians in their own home and their own land on a regular basis.
Don't get me wrong: Hamas ain't doin' themselves any favors either (and are still a trashpile of an organization). Even in the charter in 2017, they refuse to officially recognize Israel, and that's not an attitude that helps anyone make things better.
And none of this dismisses the pain and suffering Hamas has inflicted on Israel -- what they did has no justification whatsoever.
But Hamas aside, every-day Palestinian lives have been viciously interrupted by the Israel government, in particularly pushing settlements into /land where Palestinians live, and deserve to keep living in/, for decades.
So no, you can't tell me Israeli ties to the area are "superior" to Palestinian ties, and you can't tell me Palestinian ties to the area are "superior" than Israel ties, it's not that simple.
But what I can say for sure? Is that Israel needs to stop the genocide on Palestine.
Period.
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Selfshiptember: Sweet Treats
pairing: Trevor x Natalie
summary: The pair get into a bit of mischief while baking desserts together
word count: ~1k
content warnings: very mild and brief innuendo/suggestive language
author's note: ...you know I got so caught up in writing these both privately and publicly that I just. Forgot to do one for the sole reason why I even made this blog in the first place
"Hey, hey, hey!" Natalie scolded Trevor, swatting him with the spatula in her hand, "Those ain't for you!"
Trevor yelped at being hit right before shoving a whole cookie in his mouth, giving her a smug look.
She let out a soft, exasperated sigh, "If you want me to make something for you, all you gotta do is ask before I'm expected to make nice treats."
"Why are ya doin' all this, anyway?" He asked after loudly swallowing a huge chunk of cookie, "It's not like…uh,"
"It's not like I have family or friends or anything?" She gave him an unamused look, "Really? You can't find anything nicer to say?"
He suddenly got this embarrassed deer in headlights look and started to stumble over his words, "That wasn't what I was saying at all? …Well, it's true, ain't it?"
Natalie shook her head and clicked her tongue, "I like it. Anyway, it's easy money. People will do anything to get treats they don't want to make themselves."
He shrugged and reached around her to steal a hand pie, "And I get all the leftovers, so it works out perfect for the both of us."
"Not if you keep fuckin' taking them!" She smacked his hand away before his fingertips could even graze the freshly baked treat, "Either help me or stay out of my way. You're in my space."
"Fine then, pretty lady." He raised his eyebrows and smirked, "Tell me what to do and I'll do it."
"Seriously? You? Being cooperative? Am I dreaming? Someone, please, wake me up. This is scaring me."
"Hey, anything for one of them apple doohickeys you made."
Natalie tried to keep a serious face but just couldn't, "Of course you couldn't have a cutesy romantic reason for wanting to help me. You're only in it for the food."
Trevor peered at the recipe sheets she scribbled on and grabbed an egg, "I also want you to stop slavin' away in this hot ass kitchen so we can do some home cookin' of our own." He paused before cracking it into a bowl, "Or, better yet, we can just do it right here right now."
"You are disgusting." She laughed and pushed him with her flour covered hands, accidentally leaving a dusty white handprint on his sleeve.
"Hey!" His lip curled as he looked at the handprint. He went to wipe it off but forgot that he had raw egg all over his hands. Then, a devious smirk spread across his face, "Want me to return the favor, sugar?"
Before she could respond, Trevor lunged at her, trying to smear the egg on her. She yelped and tried to skirt around him while cradling a hand pie she just made in her hands. Natalie did her best to protect it from her boyfriend, now enemy, "Don't you dare! I just made this one!"
"Say uncle and I'll stop!" He snickered, still threatening to smear remnants of egg white on her or the pie, "...Unless you let me have that one. Then we'll call it even."
"You already ate like four of these! Can't I have any to sell? Or better yet, for me?" Her nose scrunched up, "I haven't been able to even taste any of these treats because someone keeps fuckin' eating them before I even get a chance!"
"That don't sound like my problem." Trevor said in an unsympathetic tone while shrugging, "Now, do ya say uncle or do you wanna get egg goop on ya?"
Natalie was frozen in her spot. His hard, dark brown eyes were locked on her, the little pie in her hands was starting to droop because of the way she was holding it, and she was in socks on a tile floor. Nothing would end well, but that didn't stop her from trying. She distracted him by going one way and then sliding the other way out of his reach. Natalie then tried, and failed, to chuck the little disfigured pie onto the baking sheet she neatly laid out just minutes before. Unfortunately, the hand pie had other ideas because it landed directly in the sink that was full of dirty dishes and soapy water.
"Shit!" She exclaimed right before slipping on her socks and falling down. Her face scrunched up in pain and she tenderly rubbed her back.
Trevor busted out laughing at the pitiful sight before him. He was caught between saying something snarky and saying something comforting to her, so he just kept starting and interrupting his own sentences.
"You. Are. Such. An. Asshole." She snarled at him, slowly getting up from her spot.
"Guess no one won that bet, huh?" He extended his hands to her to try to help but then refracted them upon remembering that they were still sticky with raw egg, "Sorry about that, darlin'. Here, how 'bout I treat you to dinner to make up for it? Ya can't say no to a romantic meal with the most handsomest man on the planet."
Natalie dusted her pants off and scoffed, "Yeah, and trust you in my kitchen again? No thanks." She gave the pie in the sink a sad look and then turned to the normal ones on the sheet before popping them in the oven.
The oven door opened with a squeak and the light inside flickered pathetically. She almost related to it at this moment.
"Who said anything about me making you something, eh?" He finally washed his hands to get the gunk off of them, "All I said was I'd treat ya to it. Your choice."
"My choice, huh? Even lobster?"
"Now, look, I know I said 'anything' but I don't actually mean-"
"I'm grieving over here!" She plunged her hands into the mess of dirty soap water and pulled out the now wilted apple pie to shove it in his face, "I think I deserve the best of the best."
"…How about Chinese?"
She sighed and threw the pie in the trash, making it land with a loud plap, "Fine, it'll have to do…fuckin' prick."
He slithered over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, nuzzling into her neck, "Yeah, but ya love me though, don't ya?"
"You got me there." She begrudgingly confessed. Natalie wanted to be mad at him but she just couldn't.
Trevor grinned, "Atta girl. And here, please accept my other apology." He pecked her on the cheek and gave her puppy dog eyes, "All better?"
"It'll be better when you actually get me that lobster."
"Do you love that stupid pie more than me?"
"I'm starting to, yes."
Tag list: @rainy-day-ships @bobmckenzie @wanderers-wife @danireblogs @fates-theysband @williameaston @cherrypieships @gideongrovel @hollandmarchsdork lmk if you want to be added/removed! ♡
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Four, three, two, fuck you Listen up y'all, this shit is ironic Strider's beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonix! Karkalicious definition makes terezi loco She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo Dyin' just to know the flavor I ain't doin' her no favors No reasons why I tease Her flush just comes and goes like seasons
I'm karkalicious (so delicious) No, I don't do kismesis And if you read any fanfics All that shit is fictitious I blow kisses (mwah!) Don't matter if we're just moirails Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail So delicious (super sweet) So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty) So delicious (even Egbert wants a piece of me) I'm karkalicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy)
have fun :)
Hi Aro
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Four, three, two, fuck you
Listen up y'all, this shit is ironic
Strider's beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonix!
Karkalicious definition makes terezi loco
She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo
Dyin' just to know the flavor
I ain't doin' her no favors
No reasons why I tease
Her flush just comes and goes like seasons
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moiraills
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
(Four, three, two, fuck you)
So delicious (super sweet)
So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)
So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me)
I'm karkalicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy)
Karkalicious def-
Karkalicious def- (goddammit, doc scratch, stop fucking around with my mic)
Karkalicious definition makes the shippers crazy
Nepeta's always squealin'
Cutesy pet names like karkitty
I'm the K to the A, R, K, the A, the T
And the majority of pairings had better include me
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
My body stays vicious
All the highbloods feelin' nervous 'cause I'm doing some fitness
Zahhak's my witness
Bet that ship curls nepeta's tail
And he'll be needing all the towels 'cause I'ma make him sweat pails
(Four, three, two, fuck you)
So delicious (super sweet)
So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)
So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me)
I'm karkalicious (now you nooksuckers hold the fuck up, check it out)
Baby, baby, baby
If you really want me
Honey, get some patience
Maybe then you'll get a taste
I'll be tasty, tasty
I'll be laced with lacy
It's so tasty, tasty
It'll make you crazy
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S
To the D, to the E, to the, to the, to the
I'll just spell it out for you!
All the time I turn around trolls gather round
Always sniffin' at me, wanna guess the
Color of my blood
I just wanna say it now
I ain't trying to round up any drama
Little fucker I just don't want
You to know
And I guess I'm coming off as
Just a little insecure although
I keep on repeating how the
Secret's fucking awesome
But I'm tryin' to tell, it's a secret that I just don't wanna tell
Terezi says I smell
Delicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moiraills
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
Four, three, two, fuck you
My body stays vicious
Zahhak's been feeling nervous 'cause I got down to business
Nepeta's my witness (meow!)
I'll even let her first ship sail
Just watch that kitten be the first in line to fill a pail
So delicious (eridan, see)
So delicious (you can trust me)
So delicious (I'll help you be)
I'm karkalicious, l-l-like candy, candy
It's so delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
I'm karkalicious, (she says my blood is like candy, candy)
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S
To the D, to the E, to the, L I C I O U S, to the
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D, to the E, to the
Now, wait just a motherfucking second!
Do I seriously have to spell this shit
Until the end of the fucking song?
I mean, whoever fucking wrote the original
Never had access to spellcheck, I guess
Because TASTEY does not spell tasty
Was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or
Something?
What do you mean human rap artists
Are the only ones brave enough to write their own
Grammatical trainwrecks and call it music?
What the fuck even is Will Smith doing?
He doesn't throw down sick fires anymore?
Fuck this shit, I quit
Four, three, two, fuck you
Listen up y'all, this shit is ironic
Strider's beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonix!
Karkalicious definition makes terezi loco
She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo
Dyin' just to know the flavor
I ain't doin' her no favors
No reasons why I tease
Her flush just comes and goes like seasons
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moiraills
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
(Four, three, two, fuck you)
So delicious (super sweet)
So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)
So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me)
I'm karkalicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy)
Karkalicious def-
Karkalicious def- (goddammit, doc scratch, stop fucking around with my mic)
Karkalicious definition makes the shippers crazy
Nepeta's always squealin'
Cutesy pet names like karkitty
I'm the K to the A, R, K, the A, the T
And the majority of pairings had better include me
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
My body stays vicious
All the highbloods feelin' nervous 'cause I'm doing some fitness
Zahhak's my witness
Bet that ship curls nepeta's tail
And he'll be needing all the towels 'cause I'ma make him sweat pails
(Four, three, two, fuck you)
So delicious (super sweet)
So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)
So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me)
I'm karkalicious (now you nooksuckers hold the fuck up, check it out)
Baby, baby, baby
If you really want me
Honey, get some patience
Maybe then you'll get a taste
I'll be tasty, tasty
I'll be laced with lacy
It's so tasty, tasty
It'll make you crazy
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S
To the D, to the E, to the, to the, to the
I'll just spell it out for you!
All the time I turn around trolls gather round
Always sniffin' at me, wanna guess the
Color of my blood
I just wanna say it now
I ain't trying to round up any drama
Little fucker I just don't want
You to know
And I guess I'm coming off as
Just a little insecure although
I keep on repeating how the
Secret's fucking awesome
But I'm tryin' to tell, it's a secret that I just don't wanna tell
Terezi says I smell
Delicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moiraills
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
Four, three, two, fuck you
My body stays vicious
Zahhak's been feeling nervous 'cause I got down to business
Nepeta's my witness (meow!)
I'll even let her first ship sail
Just watch that kitten be the first in line to fill a pail
So delicious (eridan, see)
So delicious (you can trust me)
So delicious (I'll help you be)
I'm karkalicious, l-l-like candy, candy
It's so delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
I'm karkalicious, (she says my blood is like candy, candy)
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S
To the D, to the E, to the, L I C I O U S, to the
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D, to the E, to the
Now, wait just a motherfucking second!
Do I seriously have to spell this shit
Until the end of the fucking song?
I mean, whoever fucking wrote the original
Never had access to spellcheck, I guess
Because TASTEY does not spell tasty
Was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or
Something?
What do you mean human rap artists
Are the only ones brave enough to write their own
Grammatical trainwrecks and call it music?
What the fuck even is Will Smith doing?
He doesn't throw down sick fires anymore?
Fuck this shit, I quit
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Jessica was ravenously hungry by the time she got back to Oldbrush Valley. It had been a long day at the end of a long week. So it was no surprise that her first stop was at the Oldbrush Valley 24-Hour Diner. Latif wasn't around, given that it was two in the morning, but she still gave a polite wave to the night staff and smiled apologetically as she ordered a burger that was more grease than meat, a side of fried potatoes, and a plate of hash browns with onion and mushroom. She resolved to tip well as the server took her order and went to the back.
Then she heard the bell at the door ring. She didn't look up from the book she was pretending to read - she was hoping not to have her face noticed if she could help it - but unfortunately, the stranger took a seat at the booth directly across from her, so she was forced to look up.
The stranger was wearing an off-brand Stetson, a pair of torn and well-loved sturdy blue jeans, and a plain white tank top under a bona-fide deerskin jacket, fringes and all. There was patch on the right breast of the jacket, clearly handmade that read "SHE/HER - IT/IT - YEE/HAW". Her chestnut brown hair was short, barely visible under the hat, and she was lightly tanned and freckled from time in the sun. There was a faded scar across its left eye, and those eyes were colored a slightly unnatural tawny orange. Despite these differences, Jessica clearly marked the stranger as being, without a doubt, herself. She sighed and folded the book. "Hey."
"Howdy, pilgrim," the older Jessica said, tipping her hat. Yee spoke in an exaggerated light drawl, like a southern belle in a period drama. "Name's Jessie. How bout yourself?"
"That isn't our voice," Jessica said, squinting. "And what's with your eyes?"
Jessie laughed. "Ah been 'round the block enough t'know when fakin' a voice ain't gonna hurt anyone. An' we're half Texan, remember? I ain't appropriatin' nothin'. Mama would be proud. An' the eyes are contacts. Ah still got the worst vision this side'a the Mississippi, but the glasses didn' exactly fit in with th'cowgirl charm."
"Okay, but why in tarnation," she said, putting on an accent herself, "are you pretending to be a cowboy?"
"Started doin' it as a joke based on somethin' a friend of a friend of a friend were talkin' about. Kept the bit up a bit too long, then figured out it were givin' me a right bit a'gender euphoria. So ah'm still doin' it, pilgrim."
"And that's why you have fucking 'yee/haw' pronouns? Wait, does this mean I'm going to be a cowboy in..." she studied Jessie's face. "Er, around four years? Five?"
"Three years an' eight months, by my count. The scar don't help my girlish complexion, ah'm sure, but I reckon I don't look like I'm turnin' to dust jes' yet. An' it ain't that simple. We ain't... connected, properly, though ah do represent one version of yer future, the end result a'three years a choices an' events that may happen similarly or may diverge wildly. Lotta that's up to you. If'n ya wanna try out the cowboy thing, I can take you to the shop where I got my hat."
"I think I'll be alright for now. So... what are you and the other Jessica doing here?"
Jessie looked confused at this. "Other Jessica?"
"The one still at OVER? With the dyed hair?"
"Ah... don't know nothin' about that one, ah'm afraid. Might be somethin' the two'a us oughta look into. Ah'm here to keep an eye on you, an' to keep things on track, t'turn out in our favor." It paused. "More or less. Ah ain't exactly back here'a mah own free will, but as long as ah'm in this time period, might as well do what I can t'help y'all along."
"I don't want to be 'helped along.' I don't want any part of this. I want to go away and live."
"Fraid it ain't that simple. Yer a proper parta this mess now, an' it ain't easy gettin' free'a it. Once the people involved know yer name, know yer important, that importance is gonna propagate in all directions, makin' its way to anyone who finds themself part'a this. It ain't just WOE.BEGONE that's got us down as a person of interest. OVER, The Flinchites, the Walters Base... an' that's sayin' nothin' a' OI tryna hunt us down."
"Wait, what? Flinchites? Walters Base? OI? I don't know what any of that means, Jessie-"
"An' we ain't got time fer me t'explain it. Ah'll fill ya in later, ah promise, but things are heatin' up for ya. Case in point, the goons waiting for'ya outside this diner."
"The what?"
"You were followed, Jessica. Two men in a black van been tailin'ya since ya got back into the valley. Ah don't recognize them, but ah reckon by the pistols in their laps they ain't got friendly intentions with us."
"Shit. Shit. What do we do now?" Jessica stood up in a panic.
"Y'calm down, first of all. Ain't any help panickin'. Ah reckon they ain't plannin' on confrontin' us while we're in the diner, or they woulda done so. Probably plannin' on shootin'ya down in cold blood when you get back to the car. Or if they're really gettin' artsy with it, they rigged yer hunk'a junk up to explode when ya hit the ignition."
"So?"
"So that means we got time t'relax an' think of a plan. An' to eat our food." Yee waved over the server. "Howdy, ma'am, you're lookin' right purdy. Ah'll take a caffeine-free Diet Pepsi, an order'a fried potatoes, an' a side'a sausage gravy. All on a separate check from my friend here. An' if'n y'all can forget y'saw the two'a us here at the same time if folks come around askin', that'd be mighty kind."
#our writing#H1VE#jessie baker#jessica baker#SLOWLY INCHING TOWARDS JESSICAS STORY OF ACTUALLY JOINING H1VE GAKSJDGLASDJGASDLKG
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Monsters and Men PT3
GN Winged Child Reader x Platonic Mercs
Chapter Selection
Hours Later
Engie sat in his chair, his eyes looking around at the unsure and rather uncomfortable look on everyone's face. Silence hung in the room, as it had for the past ten minutes. Nothing but a slight cough or squeaky chair interrupted the deafening silence. Realizing that this was going absolutely nowhere, Engie decided he'd have to be the one to start.
"So...anyone got any idea what we're gonna be doin' with the...kid..." Engie posed the question to the table, the eyes of each of his teammates turning to one another as if waiting for someone else to find an answer. That was until, finally, someone else continued the conversation.
"Well we can't keep ze child 'ere" Spy added, though it wasn't a very insightful addition. More so just groundwork to branch off of. However, it did gain Medics attention.
"Zen vhat do jou propose ve do? I don't suppose jou have anyvhere a vinged child could stay? And zat's not to add ze implication of zere clothing. Zey seem to be vanted and, if ve're to believe ze clothing, dangerous" Medic responded, an analytical tone held in his voice as he laid out what they knew, which wasn't very much. This response however earned Heavy's attention, his eyes turning towards Medic with a confused and rather weary stare.
"Does doktor think they should stay here?" Heavy questioned almost in full disbelief of what Medic had implied.
"Until vone is presented to me I don't believe zere is a better solution" Medic stated his point outright, earning a few different reactions from the men, almost none of them favorable, Engies least of all.
"Ya can't be serious doc. You forgettin' that we're in a warzone? That ain't a foot'a this place safe?" Engie countered, his face twisted into an incredulous look at what Medic had suggested. Medic didn't falter and was about to respond when-
"I THINK KEEPING THEM HERE IS A GOOD IDEA! WE CAN RAISE THEM LIKE A SOLDIER!" Soldier interjected, his opinion not warranted and certainly not liked.
"As far as we know zey are just a child! And we are guns for 'ire! Zere will be no rasing of any children 'ere!" Spy's voice cut through the room, quickly escalating the situation.
"How do we even know dey're a kid though-?" Scout's voice was immediately drowned out, not a single person looking to address his statement.
"So what's your suggestion spook? We found out where they came from and give 'em back? 'Cause wherever they came from didn't care too much for 'em." Sniper added rather calmly for the tension that was rising within the room. Demo was rather ticked by the comment though, most likely because it was said so calmly and seemingly little care.
"And ye think the REDs will care if they're a kid or not? What do ye think is gonnae happen when one'a them sees them? I'll tell you what'll bloody happen! They'll be dead on sight! Have all of ye lads lost yer damn minds-!?" Demo, in the passion of his movements, knocked the bottle next to him, quickly sending it to the ground where upon it shattered into pieces. It was after this that yelling began to erupt from the table, no voice heard above another as the chaos truly began.
"Huts hung?" Pyro spoke as they turned to Engie, slightly tilting their head. Engie sighed, shaking his head before turning to the firebug.
"You don't have ta stay bud, Ah'll handle this" Engie spoke as he tried rub the stress from his already tired eyes.
"Just do me a favor, don't go messin' in the doc's room" He added, making sure they knew he was serious. Pyro, hating nothing more than a group of angry voices, quickly took the opportunity to leave. Even if they felt a little bad leaving Engie there. Once they were gone Engie turned back to the chaos, exhaustion from days of very little sleep along with last night's all-nighter now pulling at both his patience and his will to intervene.
"Fellas-"
"How come da cyclops gets to have a say in dis and I don't?!" Scout asked with a highly irritated and frankly childish tone that was only further shown in his glare and folded arms. However the boy knew exactly what he was doing, his words poking at a well-known weak spot in the Scots emotional armor.
"And here we go-"
"I'M GONNAE GIVE YE TWO SECONDS TA SHUT YER MOUTH YEH WEE SCAMPERIN' WINDBAG!"
"Oh yeah!? And whatcha gonna do?! You can't even catch me!"
"OOOOOOOH YOU'VE DONE MESSED UP NOW BOYO! I'M GONNAE-" The argument, or more like screaming match, came to a sudden end when a very unfamiliar, ear-piercing screech met their ears. It was an inhuman sound that, if not for the distress in it, could have been likened to some sort of animal call. It silenced the room in mounting confusion, though it didn't last longer than a few minutes as the following sound dropped that confusion into dread.
"HUUU HUUUUHHHHH" The men sitting at the table quickly looked to the empty chair, then to the door before the realization dawned, all of them collectively coming to the same thought
oh no
-
Your eyes began to flutter open and, in a familiar sight, you were blinded by a bright light. You quickly closed your eyes, a not too uncommon sickly feeling taking you over. Your hands moved to cover your eyes which, to your utter surprise, held no restraints. Confused and with your mind too fuzzy to remember much, you just tried to focus on being able to open your eyes. After a long while you adjusted to it and were able to look past the irritating white glare. Upon doing so a spike of dread hit your stomach, the room incredibly unfamiliar to you. In a sudden movement you pulled yourself up, though you regretted doing so when a burning pain spread through your stomach. Thankfully it left just as quick as it came and once it had you began to look over your body. You soon noticed the many bandages and sore spots that covered it, each injury seeming unfamiliar until you thought on it and before long you remembered where they had all come from.
You had run away- You burned that place down-! You...
Where were you?
The contents of the room were all of a medical nature, that much you knew. But why were you here? Why hadn't they restrained you? Was yesterday a dream? Was this a dream? You couldn't tell anymore. You listened for a while, though you didn't hear anyone. No doctors, no guards, no scientists. Just silence.
Assuming you were alone you decided to stand, though your legs felt unstable under you. You felt your muscles cry against your use of them, but seeing as it wasn't anything you hadn't been through before, you pushed on. You were about to take your first step forward when a sudden sound caught your ears. You froze, your dilated eyes turning to where the small noise had come from. You had expected to see an infuriated doctor or a disgruntled guard. However, what you saw was...
A white bird? Or a mostly white bird anyway. It was instead covered in pink splotches, as if some sort of dye had been poorly washed from its wings. You stared at the bird for a while, your body remaining frozen as your adrenaline died down until eventually you relaxed back into a neutral state. When the bird realized that it had been seen it quickly swooped down from its position, once again startling you to alertness. It managed to land on your shoulder, upon which you tried to shove it off a few times, though it seemed rather set on making a landing there. Eventually you gave up. It seemed harmless enough anyway, it at least wasn't trying to attack you. When you finally relented it became comfortable, seemingly happy with itself as it finally made it's landing.
"Hello" You jumped slightly, startled for about the hundredth time by this entirely strange situation. However, this time you were left more baffled than anything. This strange bird spoke, though it hadn't spoken in words. Rather it had spoken in coo's that you could somehow understood. You knew what it had just communicated to you! And not only that, but you held the instinct of a sound on your tongue.
"Hi" You replied, your eyes widening further at the fact that the language leaving your lips not only made sense to you, but hadn't hurt as much to speak in. You suffered a minor sore throat and no sting of pained tears in your eyes and in so a simple soft sound left your lips. A sound that, judging by how the bird suddenly grew more interested, had made sense to more than just yourself.
"What are you?" The small bird asked, your mind still trying to wrap around the fact that its words made sense. However, you decided it might just be best to look over that for now. After all, you had more pressing issues to deal with. Like the fact that you were alone and unsupervised.
You looked over to the bird, realizing that at this current moment in time it was the only link you had to what could possibly be happening here. And thus you deduced that you should probably stay on good terms with said bird. It would probably be best to start by answering its question.
"I...don't know" was the best explanation you could give it at the moment. You've never really thought about it before. Then again you never really had the chance to.
However, the explanation seemed good enough for the bird. He was Medic's pet after all. You weren't too strange compared to some of the things he'd seen the 'doctor' cook up before. In fact, he'd go as far as to say you were probably on the better side of the spectrum of what he's seen pass through here. Then again considering you were only a child it did leave a few questions as to just how far the doctor's mind had wandered lately.
"Where are the guards?" you broke the suddenly quiet air with a question, your eyes having wandered to other places in the room in hopes that someone would show up...
Or maybe rather that someone wouldn't.
"Guards?" the bird echoed your words, a perplexed tone held in his voice. You nodded to his voice, unsure what had confused him. There was another pause in the conversation and, finding no other people that fit that description, he decided to ask what to him was the only obvious answer.
"Do you mean the team?" He asked, a confused expression now falling onto your own features as you once again turned to the bird.
"Is that what you call them here?" you answered back and, assuming you could mean nothing else, he slowly nodded to the question. As he did, the reality of your situation began to truly dawn on you.
You were in a place you didn't recognize, with no idea how you had even gotten here, and seemingly left to your own devices. You knew nothing of this place's schedule, or people, or creatures, or habits. You hadn't even a clue why there were birds here! And having grown up in a life where knowledge was power and knowing where you stand in the power pyramid meant the difference between life and torture, not knowing anything about where you had ended up is possibly one of your more terrifying nightmarish realities. You felt your heart start to beat a little harder against your chest, your throat tightening at the sudden reality.
"I don't want to be here..." you admitted in a mumble, your hands tightening almost instinctively. You felt what was best described as a cold shiver up your back, your body feeling lighter than it had been only a few seconds ago. The bird, noticing your sudden discomfort, gave a slight nuzzle to your cheek. The strange action quickly caught your attention, the bird's affection not something you had quite expected. However, the comfort from him did pull you from your spiral of dread enough to take a deep breath, even if that breath was through confusion rather than comfort.
"I'm not sure how you ended up here, but I can promise it's not that bad. Here, I have an idea. Why don't we go on an adventure? We can explore the base if you want" The bird suggested with sudden excitement in his tone. You, however, didn't hold that same excitement. You weren't entirely familiar with a lot of his strange words or what they meant, though you understood enough to get the general idea of what he was saying and its implications did little to cool your dread.
"An ad-...ad-ven-ture...? Am I allowed to leave the room?" you asked, apprehension shown in your still feet. The bird took a moment to respond, quickly realizing that your appearance held true to your behavior as your mannerisms were that of a child.
"I don't think Medic would be too upset" he answered.
His chosen words of uncertainty certainly didn't help you further believe this was a good idea. However, he had been about the kindest creature you've met in a long time and the last thing you wanted to do was upset him, not to mention he would likely know a lot more about this place than you did. So, with really not much else you could do, you agreed with a nod as you headed towards the door. You hesitated a moment before grabbing the metal handle, pulling it down and shoving the heavy weight of it until it opened. Slowly you peaked out the door, looking for any sort of movement. When you saw nothing you slowly stepped forward into the bright hall, your hands slowly releasing the door as it shut itself behind you. As you did your anxieties only began to run more rampant.
This felt like a very bad idea...
What if this bird was wrong? What if they would be upset to find you out of that room? They would certainly punish you for it! However, as you thought of that possibility your eyes drifted to your body again, your right wing unable to move under some sort of bandage, your bruised hands that still held dry blood on them, your aching body that begged for nothing more than the solace of a peaceful day. It was after these observations that you decided you truly couldn't risk following your own judgment. It had only ever failed you.
It was safer to get punished for someone else's mistake than your own.
So you pushed on, trusting that this bird knew what he was talking about. And for a while the two of you wandered down the hall. While the place held a familiar feeling to it, everything about it was utterly strange to you. The rooms were filled with weird objects you couldn't even begin to explain and the quiet emptiness of the place was rather eerie. You saw no signs of other people, other creatures, or even other animals around. Not only that, but everything was color-coded blue which was all the more strange to you. And the size of everything! You were miniature in comparison! What a truly strange place.
The two of you continued wandering down the halls, the bird you had come to know as Archimedes directing you on where to go.
The silence of the empty halls was interrupted when what you quickly identified as yelling from unknown voices began to echo. The moment you identified what it was your pace slowed, your body not willing to continue towards the unmistakably dangerous sound. However, where you had grown suddenly even more anxious, Archimedes grew rather annoyed. His wings ruffled in a response that you instinctually followed, though the wrappings on your wing made it uncomfortable. Wanting to assess the danger, you slowly peeked around the corner, searching for the source of the voices. You found it quickly as your eyes landed on a door a little ways down the hall.
"-I'll tell you whot'll bloody happen! They'll be dead on sight! Have all of ye lads lost yer damn minds-!?" A shattering sound emitted from the room, startling you with a slight jump, your already messy feathers ruffling further as the yelling increased. The small bird nudged against your cheek once again, though having grown to further trust him at this point his contact became a little more comforting.
"We should go" He cooed, a warning held in his words. Deciding that you didn't want to be involved with angry people you were just about to heed that warning. However, the turn of the door handle froze you in place.
"How come da cyclops gets to have a say in dis and I don't?!" as the door opened the muffled words became easier to hear for a moment, though you weren't so much paying attention to that at this point. Your eyes instead landed on a figure in a full-body suit as it shut the door behind it. It walked down the hall a few steps but quickly stopped when it's eyes, which were more like black voids, landed on you.
Neither one of you moved for a moment, the tension of the staredown not even cuttable with a knife. Slowly though the numb feeling of dread that had frozen you in place began to dissipate, and with it came a rather panicked thought.
You had been caught!
Archimedes began flapping his wings, quickly grabbing your attention and pulling you from your shocked state. Unfortunately, it had the same effect on the creature that had spotted you and, as if on cue, it began running at you. Instinct took over at that point and you immediately turned and bolted. You didn't make it very far, your weakened state allowing for little more than a pathetic stumbling run before you inevitably fell.
Or at least you would have fallen, if not for the fact that the creature had caught up to you, its hands grabbing you before you even hit the ground. Even though it had saved you from going face-first into the ground your panic wasn't quelled, especially as it held onto bruises and healing wounds which caused more than a little bit of pain. In response to what you had all rights to believe was an attack, you let out a screech. Not the screech of a child, or even a human for that matter, but one of a caught animal seeking any form of escape from the tight grasp of death. The creature seemed to take this as a challenge as it let out it's own scream.
"HUUU HUUUUHHHHH!" Its muffled voice mimicked yours which only further threw you into your confused panic. And it was due to this panic and your struggle against this creature that you didn't notice the waves of feet now flooding down the hall.
#tf2#tf2 x reader#reader x tf2#tf2 x child reader#tf2 engie#tf2 pyro#tf2 heavy#tf2 soldier#tf2 scout#tf2 spy#tf2 demoman#tf2 engineer#medic tf2#tf2 sniper#monsters and men
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Homo
STOP THIS YOU SENT AT LEAST THREE ALREADY GO AWAYYY! ! !
[Intro]
Four, three, two, fuck you
Listen up y'all, this shit is ironic
Strider's beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonics!
[Verse 1]
Karkalicious: definition, makes Terezi loco
She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo
Dyin' just to know the flavor
I ain't doin' her no favors
No reasons why I tease
Her flush just comes and goes like seasons
(Four, three, two, Fuck you)
[Chorus]
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moirails
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
So delicious (super sweet)
So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)
So delicious (even Egbert wants a piece of me)
I'm karkalicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy)
[Interlude]
Karkalicious def-
Karkalicious def-
Goddammit, Doc Scratch stop fucking around with my mic-
[Verse 2]
Karkalicious definition makes the shippers crazy
Nepeta's always squealin', cutesy pet names like karkitty
I'm the k to the a, r, k, the a, the t
And the majority of pairings had better include me
[Chorus]
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
My body stays vicious
All the highbloods feelin' nervous 'cuz I'm doing some fitness
Zahhak's my witness (whistle)
Bet that ship curls Nepeta's tail
And he'll be needing all the towels 'cuz I'mma make him sweat pails
So delicious (super sweet)
So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)
So delicious (even Egbert wants a piece of me)
I'm karkalicious (now you nooksuckers hold the fuck up, check it out)
[Bridge]
Baby, baby, baby
If you really want me
Honey get some patience
Maybe then you'll get a taste
I'll be tasty, tasty
I'll be laced with lacy
It's so tasty, tasty
It'll make you crazy
T to the a, to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty, t to the a to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty
D to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s, to the d, to the e, to the, to the--
I'll just spell it out for you
All the time I turn around trolls gather round always sniffin' at me, wanna guess the color of my blood
I just wanna say it now - I ain't trying to round up any drama, little fucker I just don't want you to know
And I guess I'm coming off as just a little insecure although I keep on repeating how the secret's fucking awesome
But I'm tryin' to tell, it's a secret that I just don't wanna tell
[Chorus]
Terezi says I smell...
Delicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moirails
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
My body stays vicious
Zahhak's been feeling nervous 'cuz I got down to business
Nepeta's my witness (meow~!)
I'll even let her first ship sail
Just watch that kitten be the first in line to fill a pail
[Extended Chorus]
So delicious (eridan, see)
So delicious (you can trust me)
So delicious (I'll help you be)
I'm karkalicious, l-l-like candy, candy
It's so delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
I'm karkalicious, (she says my blood is like candy, candy)
[Outro]
T to the a, to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty, t to the a to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty
D to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s
T to the a, to the s t e y - fuckin' tasty. T to the a, to the, to the, to the, to the
To the d to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s
To the d to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s
To the d to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s to the d, to the e, to the...now, wait just a motherfuckin' second
[Outro Interlude]
Do I seriously have to spell this shit until the end of the fucking song?
I mean, whoever fucking wrote the original never had access to spellcheck I guess
Because t-a-s-t-e-y does not spell tasty. Was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or something?
What do you mean human rap artists are the only ones brave enough to write their own grammatical train wrecks and call it music!? What the fuck even is Will Smith doing?
He doesn't throw down sick fires anymore!?
Fuck this shit, I quit!
That’s why you get a copy pasted version instead of hand written by the one and only
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hey its the anon that homestuck harrassed you
i tried watching the 2 hr sarah zed video about the history if homestuck but i was already getting lost within the first 15 min anyone with the capability to understand what the heck is going on there gets my respect
enjoy
Four, three, two, fuck you
Listen up y'all, this shit is ironic
Strider's beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonics!
Karkalicious: definition, makes Terezi loco
She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo
Dyin' just to know the flavor
I ain't doin' her no favors
No reasons why I tease
Her flush just comes and goes like seasons
(Four, three, two, Fuck you)
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moirails
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
So delicious (super sweet)
So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)
So delicious (even Egbert wants a piece of me)
I'm karkalicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy)
Karkalicious def-
Karkalicious def-
Goddammit, Doc Scratch stop fucking around with my mic-
Karkalicious definition makes the shippers crazy
Nepeta's always squealin', cutesy pet names like karkitty
I'm the k to the a, r, k, the a, the t
And the majority of pairings had better include me
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
My body stays vicious
All the highbloods feelin' nervous 'cuz I'm doing some fitness
Zahhak's my witness (whistle)
Bet that ship curls Nepeta's tail
And he'll be needing all the towels 'cuz I'mma make him sweat pails
So delicious (super sweet)
So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)
So delicious (even Egbert wants a piece of me)
I'm karkalicious (now you nooksuckers hold the fuck up, check it out)
Baby, baby, baby
If you really want me
Honey get some patience
Maybe then you'll get a taste
I'll be tasty, tasty
I'll be laced with lacy
It's so tasty, tasty
It'll make you crazy
T to the a, to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty, t to the a to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty
D to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s, to the d, to the e, to the, to the--
I'll just spell it out for you
All the time I turn around trolls gather round always sniffin' at me, wanna guess the color of my blood
I just wanna say it now - I ain't trying to round up any drama, little fucker I just don't want you to know
And I guess I'm coming off as just a little insecure although I keep on repeating how the secret's fucking awesome
But I'm tryin' to tell, it's a secret that I just don't wanna tell
Terezi says I smell...
Delicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moirails
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
My body stays vicious
Zahhak's been feeling nervous 'cuz I got down to business
Nepeta's my witness (meow~!)
I'll even let her first ship sail
Just watch that kitten be the first in line to fill a pail
So delicious (eridan, see)
So delicious (you can trust me)
So delicious (I'll help you be)
I'm karkalicious, l-l-like candy, candy
It's so delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
I'm karkalicious, (she says my blood is like candy, candy)
T to the a, to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty, t to the a to the s-t-e-y - fuckin' tasty
D to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s
T to the a, to the s t e y - fuckin' tasty. T to the a, to the, to the, to the, to the
To the d to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s
To the d to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s
To the d to the e, to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s to the d, to the e, to the...now, wait just a motherfuckin' second
Do I seriously have to spell this shit until the end of the fucking song?
I mean, whoever fucking wrote the original never had access to spellcheck I guess
Because t-a-s-t-e-y does not spell tasty. Was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or something?
What do you mean human rap artists are the only ones brave enough to write their own grammatical train wrecks and call it music!? What the fuck even is Will Smith doing?
He doesn't throw down sick fires anymore!?
Fuck this shit, I quit!
#I appreciate ur willingness to grow and tbh I can go way into homestuck the second someone asks me so I debated actually explaining it but h#ave karkalicious instead
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Four, three, two, fuck you
Listen up y'all, this shit is ironic
Strider's beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonix!
Karkalicious definition makes terezi loco
She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo
Dyin' just to know the flavor
I ain't doin' her no favors
No reasons why I tease
Her flush just comes and goes like seasons
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moiraills
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
(Four, three, two, fuck you)
So delicious (super sweet)
So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)
So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me)
I'm karkalicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy)
Karkalicious def-
Karkalicious def- (goddammit, doc scratch, stop fucking around with my mic)
Karkalicious definition makes the shippers crazy
Nepeta's always squealin'
Cutesy pet names like karkitty
I'm the K to the A, R, K, the A, the T
And the majority of pairings had better include me
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
My body stays vicious
All the highbloods feelin' nervous 'cause I'm doing some fitness
Zahhak's my witness
Bet that ship curls nepeta's tail
And he'll be needing all the towels 'cause I'ma make him sweat pails
(Four, three, two, fuck you)
So delicious (super sweet)
So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)
So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me)
I'm karkalicious (now you nooksuckers hold the fuck up, check it out)
Baby, baby, baby
If you really want me
Honey, get some patience
Maybe then you'll get a taste
I'll be tasty, tasty
I'll be laced with lacy
It's so tasty, tasty
It'll make you crazy
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S
To the D, to the E, to the, to the, to the
I'll just spell it out for you!
All the time I turn around trolls gather round
Always sniffin' at me, wanna guess the
Color of my blood
I just wanna say it now
I ain't trying to round up any drama
Little fucker I just don't want
You to know
And I guess I'm coming off as
Just a little insecure although
I keep on repeating how the
Secret's fucking awesome
But I'm tryin' to tell, it's a secret that I just don't wanna tell
Terezi says I smell
Delicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moiraills
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
Four, three, two, fuck you
My body stays vicious
Zahhak's been feeling nervous 'cause I got down to business
Nepeta's my witness (meow!)
I'll even let her first ship sail
Just watch that kitten be the first in line to fill a pail
So delicious (eridan, see)
So delicious (you can trust me)
So delicious (I'll help you be)
I'm karkalicious, l-l-like candy, candy
It's so delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
I'm karkalicious, (she says my blood is like candy, candy)
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S
To the D, to the E, to the, L I C I O U S, to the
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D, to the E, to the
Now, wait just a motherfucking second!
Do I seriously have to spell this shit
Until the end of the fucking song?
I mean, whoever fucking wrote the original
Never had access to spellcheck, I guess
Because TASTEY does not spell tasty
Was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or
Something?
What do you mean human rap artists
Are the only ones brave enough to write their own
Grammatical trainwrecks and call it music?
What the fuck even is Will Smith doing?
He doesn't throw down sick fires anymore?
Fuck this shit, I quit
What.
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Karkalicious
definition makes terezi loco
She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo
Dyin' just to know the flavor
I ain't doin' her no favors
No reasons why I tease
Her flush just comes and goes like seasons
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moiraills
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
(Four, three, two, fuck you)
So delicious (super sweet)
So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)
So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me)
I'm karkalicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy)
Karkalicious def-
Karkalicious def- (goddammit, doc scratch, stop fucking around with my mic)
Karkalicious definition makes the shippers crazy
Nepeta's always squealin'
Cutesy pet names like karkitty
I'm the K to the A, R, K, the A, the T
And the majority of pairings had better include me
I'm karkalicious (so delicious)
My body stays vicious
All the highbloods feelin' nervous 'cause I'm doing some fitness
Zahhak's my witness
Bet that ship curls nepeta's tail
And he'll be needing all the towels 'cause I'ma make him sweat pails
(Four, three, two, fuck you)
So delicious (super sweet)
So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty)
So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me)
I'm karkalicious (now you nooksuckers hold the fuck up, check it out)
Baby, baby, baby
If you really want me
Honey, get some patience
Maybe then you'll get a taste
I'll be tasty, tasty
I'll be laced with lacy
It's so tasty, tasty
It'll make you crazy
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S
To the D, to the E, to the, to the, to the
I'll just spell it out for you!
All the time I turn around trolls gather round
Always sniffin' at me, wanna guess the
Color of my blood
I just wanna say it now
I ain't trying to round up any drama
Little fucker I just don't want
You to know
And I guess I'm coming off as
Just a little insecure although
I keep on repeating how the
Secret's fucking awesome
But I'm tryin' to tell, it's a secret that I just don't wanna tell
Terezi says I smell
Delicious (so delicious)
No, I don't do kismesis
And if you read any fanfics
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mwah!)
Don't matter if we're just moiraills
Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail
Four, three, two, fuck you
My body stays vicious
Zahhak's been feeling nervous 'cause I got down to business
Nepeta's my witness (meow!)
I'll even let her first ship sail
Just watch that kitten be the first in line to fill a pail
So delicious (eridan, see)
So delicious (you can trust me)
So delicious (I'll help you be)
I'm karkalicious, l-l-like candy, candy
It's so delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay)
I'm karkalicious, (she says my blood is like candy, candy)
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S
To the D, to the E, to the, L I C I O U S, to the
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D, to the E, to the
Now, wait just a motherfucking second!
Do I seriously have to spell this shit
Until the end of the fucking song?
I mean, whoever fucking wrote the original
Never had access to spellcheck, I guess
Because TASTEY does not spell tasty
Was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or
Something?
What do you mean human rap artists
Are the only ones brave enough to write their own
Grammatical trainwrecks and call it music?
What the fuck even is Will Smith doing?
He doesn't throw down sick fires anymore?
Fuck this shit, I quit
#hiii wynn :]#i literally just copypasted the lyrics i dont have the will to remember and write the full song haha#ikna answers#eowynnsstuffnthings
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