#And how many of this days conflict or are very close to days dedicated to other groups?
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The trans cult just have to give themselves another day. And to have this just two days after May 5th which is National Day of Awareness for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls is just extra disgusting.
ASBURY PARK, N.J. -- Asbury Park has declared May 7 "Drag Queen Visibility Day."
The proclamation comes after several pieces of anti-drag and anti-trans legislation were proposed across the country.
A day-long festival will be held on May 7 highlighting drag performers.
The proclamation will also be recognized by the governor's office.
May 5 is commemorated as National Day of Awareness for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls. The day became recognized in 2017 when Montana Senators Steve Daines and Jon Tester responded to the murder of Hanna Harris on the Northern Cheyenne Reservation, as well as the cumulation of other murders and abductions of Native women and girls. Since then, grassroots efforts at local, regional, national, and international levels have grown as Indigenous families, advocates, and Indigenous nations continue to call attention to the violence and galvanize action in response to the MMIWG crisis.
We encourage you to join community actions this week to raise awareness and call on governments to be accountable to the injustices and systemic barriers embedded in federal and local legislation that perpetuate this crisis. As Hanna Harris’s mother, Malinda Limberhand, aptly said: “As a mother, nothing will replace the loss of my daughter, but by organizing to support the National Day of Awareness and creating the changes needed, I know it will help others. And Hanna and so many others will not be forgotten.”
7 Actions to Take for National Day of Awareness for #MMIWG
1. Wear red, take a photo, and share it on social media to bring awareness of #MMIWG.
Share a photo. Make sure to use hashtags #MMIW, #MMIWG, #MMIWG2S, #MMIWActionNow, and #NoMoreStolenSisters!
2. Join the National Indigenous Women's Resource Center in these 3 calls to action:
Urge your Senators to pass Family Violence Prevention & Services (#FVPSA) reauthorization with key Tribal provisions: n8ve.net/Ts6M5
Tag The Justice Department, Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland, and the US Interior on social media and demand they immediately implement the Not Invisible Act
Tag the Justice Department and the FBI on social media and demand they improve MMIW data collection under Savanna’s Act . #MMIW, #MMIWG, #MMIWG2S, #MMIWActionNow #NoMoreStolenSisters
3. Watch "Voices Unheard."
A short film by Native Hope. Marty Coulee is a Native American entrepreneur living the good life. When her Native American business partner Jess, vanishes without a trace on a business trip to Arizona, Marty becomes a voice for the voices unheard.
4. Watch “Bring Her Home.”
This film follows three Indigenous women – an artist, an activist, and a politician – as they fight to vindicate and honor their missing and murdered relatives who have fallen victims to a growing epidemic across Indian country. Despite the lasting effects from historical trauma, each woman must search for healing while navigating racist systems that brought about this very crisis.
5. Listen to our Indigenous Rights Radio interview with Leya Hale.
Leya Hale (Sisseton Wahpeton Dakota and Navajo) is a storyteller, documentary filmmaker, and a producer with Twin Cities PBS (TPT). Her recent film, "Bring Her Home," addresses the epidemic of Murdered and Missing Indigenous Women in the United States.
6. Include Two-Spirit Relatives in Awareness of MMIWG2S.
It is imperative to include Two-Spirit relatives in the raising of awareness of MMIWG. Read about the meaning of Two-Spirit to learn about the many intersections of violence that threaten Two-Spirit people. To learn more and give support, visit organizations such as Families of Sisters in Spirit and read this organizing toolkit from the Sovereign Bodies Institute. For immediate help with a case of domestic violence or dating violence, please visit StrongHearts Native Helpline's online Chat Advocacy or helpline (1-844-7NATIVE).
7. Claim free print subscription for NIWRC’s Restoration of Native Sovereignty and Safety for Native Women magazine, courtesy of Urban Indian Health Institute.
#Asbury park#New Jersey#may 7#drag Queen Visibility Day#Drag queens don’t need more visibility#how many days does the trans cult have now?#And how many of this days conflict or are very close to days dedicated to other groups?
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AITA for ghosting my girlfriend?
So, this happened years ago, and is extremely niche and online, but it still kind of weighs on me. I'm AFAB, and when I was younger (10-14yo) I would "pretend" to be a boy on the internet. Most of my time was spent playing Animal Jam and Minecraft, as well as being involved in the Animal Jam-related Google Plus/Blogger circles, all the time presenting as male.
I should also mention that I was raised in a very conservative and anti-gay religion. My parents knew that I was pretending to be a boy, they figured it would help "protect" my identity online. I didn't know what "transgender" meant until this whole incident was over.
Around the time this all happened I was heavily involved with a blog dedicated to posting Animal Jam users who would scam others out of their items, in hopes that our readers would avoid them. I and the four other people who ran the blog (between 13-16 y/o) had all become very close friends, but our interest in Animal Jam and in running this blog was waning. It was around this time I (14Complicated) began dating my fellow moderator V (13F). We had grown close over the course of many months invoved with the blog, and she had confessed her feelings to me over email. I responded that I felt the same way. Truthfully, I did. I felt things for her that I'd never felt before. Things that scared me.
V and I continued dating for many months. Over that time, our friendgroup had made the decision to shut the blog down for good. Us moderators stayed friends, and opened up a Minecraft server so we could still play together. V and I accomplished the all-important milestone of putting our beds together in Minecraft. The seriousness of our relationship weighed heavy on me, for two reasons: One, I was a girl dating a girl, and that was a sin. Two, I had been "pretending" to be a boy while I was dating V, and I had no idea how to tell her the truth. Looking back now, that second point was kind of stupid. V was openly bisexual and actually knew what transgender meant.
Because of these conflicting feelings, I just up and ghosted V one day. Logged out of every account associated with that friend group and went full no contact. I thought it would stop the feelings of guilt. It didn't help, and in fact, hurt a lot. I'm 20 now, openly nonbinary, and I still feel guilty about leaving V in the dark like that.
TL;DR I ghosted my online girlfriend because I was having gay thoughts and felt guilty for "lying" about my gender. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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Buddy Daddies interview with Toyonaga Toshiyuki and Uchiyama Koki
Interview with Toyonaga Toshiyuki and Uchiyama Koki (voice actors for Kurusu Kazuki and Suwa Rei)
Interviewer: As we look back on "Buddy Daddies" up to this point - first of all, how do you feel about the early plot developments?
Toyonaga: The very beginning of episode 1 was an incredibly hard-boiled action scene, and then episode 2 was a total about-face - from that point on, it became more of a sitcom. I think that tonal shift was very intriguing, and everyone in the audience might have wondered, "Just where will things go from here?"
Uchiyama: It all started with a scene of assassins carrying out a mission, and the "assassins" premise itself was a very anime-typical hook in the first place. It seemed likely that there would be all sorts of drama, and so I expected a large proportion of the anime to be dedicated to that. But just like Toyonaga-san said, as the story progressed, the sitcom elements were unexpectedly pronounced; that left a strong impression on me as well.
Interviewer: Since then, Kurusu Kazuki, Suwa Rei, and Unasaka Miri have fully become a "family" - in review, are there any episodes that left a particular impression on you?
Toyonaga: Well, it's a fact that Kazuki and Rei are assassins, and they really did kill Miri's father...
Uchiyama: That was quite a grim start to the story, wasn't it.
Toyonaga: It sure was. And so the two of them find themselves obligated to look after this child, and they grapple with the conflicted feelings of "surely we can't actually bring her up, can we?" That's the first half of the series. Kazuki gets proactive about the parenting thing from pretty early on, but Rei's values and mindset change bit by bit over time... The part around episodes 8 and 9, when he reaches the point of thinking "it would be nice if life could go on like this", was very memorable.
Uchiyama: Episodes 8 and 9 left a real impression on me too. Episode 8 focuses on Rei's biological family, and it depicts a tragic battle with a character who seemed closely connected with Rei in the past. So going from that to the events of sports day in episode 9 is a major shift for him. At first, Rei wasn't especially keen on parenting or living together with a child, but now he's shouting at the top of his lungs in order to cheer for Miri. I found that scene incredibly dramatic. In the recording sessions for the early episodes, I was often directed to perform Rei with more "restraint", so it came as a real shock to raise my voice during sports day and shout "Go for it!" But looking back upon the story as a whole, I've tried to portray his gradual transformation over time; that was the moment it really hit me.
Interviewer: What do you think of Kazuki and Rei's buddy relationship?
Uchiyama: The "buddy concept" is fundamental to the series, but since Miri has been part of the mix right from the start, I have a stronger impression of them as a "trio", when it comes down to it. In a manner of speaking, I think this is a story about the buddies being wrapped around Miri's finger.
Toyonaga: Kazuki and Rei each have their own dark pasts and traumatic burdens, but they've never experienced what regular children go through while growing up and as teens. Of course, the setup of these two falling under the sway of the innocent Miri might be kind of disorienting, but it sure is ripe for drama. There were just so many points where I thought, "Right, of course that's how it'd go!" In that sense, I think the balance of the three-person dynamic is absolutely perfect. And as for my approach as an actor - I give a pretty aggressive performance, so sometimes I'm really riding roughshod over Ucchi (Uchiyama)... Rei is a character who has to be defined in direct opposition to Kazuki, so I'm always like, "Ucchi, I'm so sorry." (laughs)
Uchiyama: No, no, not at all! (laughs) If anything, I really enjoy those plot developments of Rei getting pushed around. The story is richly varied, and every episode has a major shift in tone, so even we actors have a lot of fun during the recording sessions. Speaking from the audience perspective, I think this series was designed to keep the viewers hooked to the very end.
Interviewer: The ins and outs of parenting are very realistically depicted. Which of those scenes left the strongest impression on you?
Toyonaga: Out of everything till now? It's got to be the episode where they send her to daycare.
Uchiyama: The rules and minutiae of what you have to bring to daycare really are so detailed.
Toyonaga: There's a whole list.
Uchiyama: And you need to put the name on every single thing. It was fun seeing Kazuki getting so worked up over that.
Toyonaga: I bet all the fathers and mothers of the world who've been through the same thing looked at Kazuki and Rei and went, "Right, right! It's tough, isn't it!" It's like Kazuki and Rei are receiving messages from all these viewers, and that leads to a reversal of the original setup. That's the point where I really sensed how far we'd come from episode 1's plot, and how unexpected this gap was. And this is a minor thing, but: Rei sleeping in the bathroom. It felt like a fantasy element in the middle of all this realism - that's the kind of deft balance only an anime can pull off.
Interviewer: Throughout all these interviews, we've heard from members of the staff that Toyonaga-san's performance of Kazuki and Uchiyama-san's performance of Rei "feel like the script was written for them". How do you feel about these comments?
Toyonaga: We were selected through auditions, but if that's how they feel after taking a chance on us, then I'm truly honoured as an actor. Everyone on the production team, starting with Director Asai, has given us a lot of leeway with the performances, and I think that's a huge part of it as well. Even if we take an odd or unexpected approach to the material, they allow it, and they have the capacity to chew it over and examine it closely. That's part of what brings all this together.
Uchiyama: When it comes to an original series, the cast is always wondering how the series will turn out. I suppose those on the staff side don't wonder quite as much as us, but I'm sure there are also things they don't know until they actually get going. For adaptations, the creators often turn to the source material for answers, but in an original series, the image of the characters is truly solidified by listening to the actual voices during the recording sessions. I think that's the true charm of an original series.
Toyonaga: When I think about it, it's a real privilege as an actor - receiving the outline of a character and getting to flesh that out through trial and error. By adding my personal touches to a character, I can put my own spin on things, and that's a lot of fun - but at the same time, it gives me a responsibility. There are things I have to be careful with. I need to present my own take on a character, while making sure that the emotional development and payoff fit perfectly.
Uchiyama: I've worked with Director Asai multiple times, and I know that I can safely leave the directorial decisions to him. I have faith that as long as we do our best during recording, he'll elevate our work to a whole new level with his wonderful images. I feel no misgivings at all. And so, as a viewer, I myself look forward eagerly to every completed episode.
Interviewer: "Buddy Daddies" is entering the final stages of the plot at last. What highlights does it hold?
Toyonaga: In episode 7, we see Karin - the younger sister of Kazuki's late wife. And Rei's father shows up in episode 8...
Uchiyama: You get to see their respective pasts.
Toyonaga: And after that, in episode 9, their feelings towards Miri gradually merge into one. But it's not just those "emotions" - there are also certain things which mustn't be forgotten... And from episode 10 onwards, those things truly take shape. What will they actually do with Miri? Can the trio's relationship really go on like this? And Ogino Ryo - an assassin who frequents Kyu-chan's (Kugi Kyutaro's) shop - gets involved. In this world of assassins, what will become of a girl like Miri, who lives a cheerful and hearty life despite her forlorn circumstances? That's what the story will address at last.
Interviewer: Just how will all the pieces that have been laid out so far be brought together...
Toyonaga: When you're wondering what will really happen with Miri, you should remember there's still someone who's related to her by blood... I think that relationship is going to play a key role.
Uchiyama: In a sense, there are some rather serious plot developments towards the end. I'm very curious how audiences will react at that point. I think those hard-boiled story elements are depicted in a style that's very characteristically "Buddy Daddies". I feel like those same plot points might be approached quite differently, in another series with a different atmosphere.
Interviewer: I hear the last episode has a plot point that was somewhat unexpected for both of you...?
Uchiyama: I was wondering how this story would be concluded, but I truly didn't have the slightest clue until I read the script for the finale.
Toyonaga: But the fact that Director Asai chose to end the story this way - naturally, it makes you reflect upon what he was trying to convey through this series.
Uchiyama: Personally, it came as quite a surprise.
Toyonaga: As far as the ending is concerned, I'm curious what all the viewers will make of it. For example, there are bound to be the realist types who make comments like "here's how things would go in real life", even for an anime. When it comes to those people, what I want to say isn't "fact is stranger than fiction", but rather, "Actually, isn't this surprisingly realistic?" That's the question I'll put to them. I think the ending makes you consider whether you can accept something like this.
Uchiyama: Considering the story as a whole, if you take out Kazuki, Rei, and Miri's backstories and relationship as a "pseudo-family", I think you'd be left with a very dark atmosphere. It was a new experience for me to witness how this could be depicted in an original series, through the lens of anime, and how it could be shown from this particular angle.
Toyonaga: I think you'll find yourself surprised, in some form or other. Last of all, I hope you'll enjoy each and every episode till the very end.
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Hey' I'm the one who sent the ask about modern au Four. It's fine that you lost the ask. I'm just excited for the you to share stuff about Four.
Aaaaaaa you're too kind thank you-
Here's the Four stuff you've been promised !!!
Just to preface, Four does not have DID or any similar conditions, just for the reason that I don't know enough about it to be able to potray it in a respectful and accurate way. If you do imagine Four with DID, that's valid, but they aren't here.
However, Four does categorise their thoughts into four categories-
Red: red represents emotional intelligence, compassion, and empathy
Blue: blue represents passion, protectiveness, and fury
Green: green represents loyalty, courage, and leadership
Violet: vio represents intelligence, knowledge, and dedication
Four just finds it easier to deal with conflicting thoughts by giving them names to better identify how they're feeling.
Anyways
Four is 15 in this au, though mistaken for much younger. He used to date a mysterious guy who called himself Shadow, but he went missing without a proper goodbye. Four's determined to find the cause of it, and so has developed an unhealthy addiction to true crime podcasts and researching similar macabre things. However on a different note, they also love fairytales and researching old folk stories. They pull a lot of allnighters... and have suffered a few broken toes for it.
Speaking of, Four lives with his Grandfather in a forge. After their father died at war and mother died in childbirth, Four's very close with his Grandfather and often helps out in the forge. Don't be fooled by their height or age; this fella's got biceps for days and is a very proficient blacksmith. He helps his Grandfather make weaponry for the Royal Family.
Four's also best friends with Dot since childhood !!
They have chronic migraines and hate it. Like, to the point where at worst he will be knocked out for days at a time, only waking up to eat, drink, and use the bathroom. They like to hide in the basement when this happens, I know there's nothing in canon about a basement but creative liberties?? because it's quiet, dark, and he doesn't need to move much. Their Grandfather's gotten pretty good at playing nurse while also working. At best it doesn't come to that, and Four's just heavily fatigued for a day and hates being around people. Oh, and he's developed a strong tolerance for most painkillers, rendering them ineffective. Poor guy.
Four's good friends with Wild, Legend, Hyrule, and Ravio at school, despite them being a year older. He's also friends with Wind and acts as a scary older brother figure to ward off anyone who tries messing with him. Despite the fact that Wind is taller and very capable of standing up for himself.
Four's also incredibly smart and fairly athletic, so they're pretty popular with students and teachers alike. People joke about them being able to read minds, but in truth Four's just observant and quick to make connections. He's won the school many prizes for maths and science. Buut Four's attendance isn't the greatest thing ever, and at least where I'm from teachers are kinda assholes about that. At least his grades and general attitude make up for it.
Four and Ravio have gotten into a physical fight over Monopoly before.
Aaaand with that, ramble over !
Thank you for the ask and I hope you liked reading this, have a great existence !!!!
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How the Bucci Gang Loves (as told by tarot)
tags: gn!reader, headcanons, tarot
a/n: when in writer’s block doubt, tarot headcanon your way out. so i decided to do some more for jjba while working on some fics for a series i really enjoy. in my journey of getting someone i know into jojo, mom2 has finally reached part 5 and she loves it so far. she finds the bucci gang pretty interesting and she loves that they are playing a song by black artists for the first ed. ofc... she seriously questions why they picked jodeci’s horniest song fdfdfsd (sorry mista, everyone gets 4 cards no exceptions lol)
deck: true black tarot
giorno giovanna
the moon, anant, nine of pentacles, the world
giorno isn’t one to buy into cliches and fanciful terms like soulmates or twin flames, but if those connections were to exist, he thinks you come very close to them. to let someone in and see the most intimate parts of himself and be allowed to see the most intimate parts of another person, it can’t be anything less than a bond that goes far beyond mortal comprehension. it can’t be helped either that he wants to spoil you. things you mentioned wanting in passing ー books, food, jewels ー giorno gets them unprompted and relishes the look of surprise and warmth on your face when he presents them to you. he worries from time to time that his position in the gang may land you in the crossfire of any external and internal conflicts passione has, but he vows to keep you safe and believes he is more than able to uphold that promise. marriage likely isn’t far from his mind with such a serious relationship, a proposal will definitely be made in accordance to your preferences once giorno feels that the time is right.
bruno bucciarti
temperance, ten of cups, destiny, seven of cups
bruno believes you’re the right match for him. whether you’re his opposite that somehow matches his personality or someone similar but who brings different perspectives to the table he never considered. he’s experienced loss but by overcoming that loss and continuing to move forward, bruno was able to meet you. there has been many ups and downs in his life since the divorce of his parents and his joining passione but bruno is thankful that his choices in life led to your meeting. his past is just more motivation for him to grow stronger to protect you. he lost his family but now he has the chance to make one with you and his most trusted crew by his side. like giorno, bruno hopes to marry you one day. he’s entertained many times to himself a domestic life with you. a nice house, a few kids if it’s in the cards and many happy moments in between. it’s something that is at the forefront of his mind if a meeting gets too boring and his mind begins to wander. but he is in no rush, content to enjoy whatever phase of your relationship you are currently in.
leone abbacchio
three of swords, strength, knight of pentacles, the devil
call this man a heavy-weight boxing champion because abbacchio fought tooth and nail to remain in the depths of denial about his feelings for you when he started noticing them. someone like abbacchio doesn’t need a relationship, nor does he deserve one. but once unable to be willfully blind and it’s gotten through his thick skull you want him as much he wants you, abbacchio is a dedicated boyfriend. it doesn’t feel right sometimes, indulging in your relationship after everything he’s done. it feels entirely selfish and he wonders if one day he’ll get his comeuppance and this happiness he has will be taken away. but after a lot of pondering what he would do if that day were to ever come, abbacchio made his decision. just as he fought to deny his feelings for you, he’d fight even harder to keep you. maybe it is selfish and it may even be despicable to others that he would dare to be this happy after everything he’s done, but abbacchio will bear those labels defiantly.
guido mista
the empress, king of wands, za warudo, the sun
flirty he may be, mista is hopeless romantic and when he’s in a relationship the man is on cloud 9. you know, the team knows it and to be honest, the whole of napoli probably knows it. mista’s not ashamed to let the whole world know he’s taken by the most wonderful person ever. should you ever voice your embarrassment and insist he doesn’t have to tell the whole world you’re dating, mista insists you actually gave him the time of day and he isn’t taking that for granted. prepare for many whirlwind dates and finding yourself somewhere in naples you’ve never been, taking in the warm sun and the ocean-scented breeze. even if things somehow go pear-shaped, it’s the fact you went through it together that counts in his eyes. mista is a physical lover and he doesn’t hide it in how he constantly touches you. he likes you and he wants you, but he respects your boundaries and will move at whatever pace you want or will gladly keep his urges to himself for your comfort if it isn’t something you desire personally. for mista, what matters most is that you’re happy and comfortable. he’s a goofball but mista is lot more observant than he looks and is very in-tune to how you feel.
pannacotta fugo
ace of swords, anant, the magician, three of cups
when it comes to the question “who fell first and who fell the hardest”, you fell first and fugo the hardest. it takes a while to get through the walls of rationality and fear of hurting others with his blind rage, but once you do, you find a passionate lover behind it. you’re fugo’s friend always and his partner first and in many ways you help ground him. fugo doubts that his problems with the rage he struggles to keep in check will ever dissipate, but thoughts of you when he is close to snapping tends to help stave off his volatile reactions most of the time. fugo isn’t one to date casually and as such takes your relationship seriously. relationships are give-and-take and fugo does so equally. embarrassing he may find things like pda, if he knows you have a preference for it, he will accommodate those desires in earnest. he simply wants you to be happy and if there is anything you don’t find to your liking fugo urges you to tell him. he can’t rectify a problem if he isn’t aware of one in the first place. he shows his love rather than tells.
narancia ghirga
eight of wands, the fool, the star, page of cups
narancia falls first and falls the hardest. narancia seldom hides from his emotions, nor does he hide them from othersー as such, your relationship is no exception. he loves you and you know it, he tells you everyday with his words and his actions. you’re probably his first love and he approaches romance with an air of child-like innocence. love is a new adventure and for narancia it is equally as exciting as it is anxiety-inducing. he wants to be with you all the time, but he doesn’t want to turn you off by being clingy. he wants to brag to the world about his awesome partner, but he doesn’t want you getting embarrassed by his bold declarations. in the end though, narancia just follows his heart and let’s everything else fall into place, hoping for the best. trusting others and being unquestionably loyal has gotten him into more grief than he can imagine, but it has also led him to the best people in his life. a pearl is the result of a mollusk defending itself against an irritant with nacre and that result is beautiful. so too are the experiences that make narancia himself.
#look she's writing#headcanons#tarot#jjba x reader#giorno x reader#bruno x reader#narancia x reader#mista x reader#fugo x reader#abbacchio x reader#bucci gang#i missed these idiots it's nice seeing them again during my rewatch#jjba vento auero#jjba golden wind
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Talk Shop Tuesday: as someone who is involved in a lot of fandoms (and has seen a lot of horrors), has there been a significant shift in how fandom is today compared to the “good old days” as much as people say?
there are. SO MANY.
to start and to be entirely clear, there is no good old days of fandom. there are things i miss about fandom tendencies of the past, which i'll get into, but as many many many marginalized fans have and will continue to say, Ye Ol' Fandom was as much if not more of a cesspit of racism, misogyny, and queerphobia as it is today. because fandom platforms were more diversified, they were also more gatekept--and i mean actually gatekept, not just "people are mean about this thing i like" gatekept. to an extent this was necessary--fandom itself was much more culturally stigmatized, and existed largely in a legal gray area, so fandom spaces needed to be semi-closed communities for their own protection. however, if you were a fan who tried to bring up systemic fannish issues--such as racism--you could and would be kicked out of whatever fannish space you were in, and there would very rarely be other places to turn.
also as a caveat: this is not anywhere CLOSE to a comprehensive view of the changes in fandom nor the myriad factors that contribute to those changes. fandom is a cultural ecosystem existing within a broader cultural ecosystem, and the ways those things interact with and inform one another are literally innumerable. anyone who claims they know the One Thing That Ruined Fandom is oversimplifying the issue. anyone claiming they know the Twenty Things That Ruined Fandom is oversimplifying the issue. fandom is a living system, and living systems exist in a constant state of change.
but broadly speaking, i think there are two major changes that have informed The State of Fandom.
Consolidation of Fandom Platforms
as mentioned, fandom used to exist as a variety of closed or semi-closed forum spaces, blogs, archives, and other websites, each dedicated to its own fandom or, more often, subsets of a particular fandom. authors/artists had their own sites, particular ships had their own sites, fic had its own sites, art had its own sites, discussion/meta had its own sites, and any or all of these could be hosted in any combination across any number of websites depending on the fandom. some of this was the result of the structure of the early internet, and some of it was, as mentioned above, a function of necessity.
as the internet evolved and fandom platforms became consolidated, this necessarily changed fandom norms and behaviours. the way we write fic is different because of the advent and dominance of ao3, the way we construct meta is different because of the nature of sites like reddit and tumblr, the way we build community is different because of sites like discord, etc. notably, most of the changes we've seen are not created by social media or mass fandom platforms, but rather enhanced by them. ship wank, whether masquerading as legitimate analysis or not, has always been a cornerstone of fandom--it like all things is simply much more accessible to people now than it used to be. the subdivision of fandoms into different subgroups, even within a ship or media, has also always been a thing--people form friend groups with like-minded people and that's normal, actually. the types of conversations and conflicts fandom has have not changed that much--just the places and manner in which we engage with them.
modern fandom platforms are both more accessible and more comprehensive than they ever have been--so fans can more easily than ever be exposed to different corners or subsets of fandom. but also. fans can more easily than ever be exposed to different corners or subsets of fandom.
The Scarcity of Long Running Media and the Dissolution of the Monoculture
the type of media that fandom now orients itself around has changed drastically as a result of changes in the broader media landscape, and this also changes fandom norms and behaviour. it is increasingly more rare for a fandom to develop over the course of years, because long-running serialized (or even episodic) narratives are becoming less common. tv shows especially are released with vanishingly short promotion cycles, and with less and less certainty of continuation. creators have to therefore hedge their bets--the binge model means there is no room to pivot mid-season if things aren't working out, and the lack of certainty around renewal means that seasons have to be relatively close-ended in order to try to deliver a satisfying experience. similar trends affect book publishing--we are seeing fewer and fewer multi-part series being released, and fewer books dominating cultural discussion in the way blockbuster series of the past have.
thinking of cornerstone megafandoms of the past (and present), we tended to see a couple essential elements that contributed to both fandom engagement and sustained fandom activity: they were released over a longer period of time, and they took up a larger portion of the dominant cultural landscape. the Harry Potter books were released over a period of ten years and were, of course, a huge cultural moment. Twilight was released over a shorter period of time, but was similarly a cornerstone of the monoculture, enhanced by the immediate and almost-eclipsing (heh) release of its movie counterparts. The X-Files was released over the course of, again, a decade, and they will be releasing new Star Treks until the mountains crumble into the sea and the stars turn to dust. these fandoms all have greater and lesser degrees of longevity and output, but they and fandoms like them all had the benefit of time and cultural dominance in order to enable the development of the fandom.
this is not universal (nothing i'm saying is universal), but fandoms nowadays tend to be a lot shorter-lived and migratory simply because they have less material to work with and less time in which to work with it. Voltron, as one example, was a megafandom that developed rapidly and burned out quickly, and while it had a decent amount of material, its eight seasons were released over the course of two and a half years. fannish momentum can only be sustained on so much material for a certain period of time, and fannish investment is necessarily going to be curtailed if fans live in uncertainty about the continuation of their favourite media.
this also is reflected in the type of fanworks that we see proliferating. while AUs were not absent from Ye Old Fandom, i do think they were a lot less common/prominent. the longer release cycles and difference in structure between releases (open-ended finales as motivation to hook viewers into the next installment that they knew/were pretty certain was going to happen vs close-ended finales that hedge bets if a series is cancelled) led to a lot more speculative fanworks set within the canon, imagining what was going to happen next. a famous example is of course the HP fandom's Three Year Summer--the period of three years between the release of the fourth and fifth Harry Potter books that was intensely productive for that fandom. fanworks in that period were famously long and plotty canon divergence/canon speculation works branching from the return of Voldemort in book four, and that tendency towards long and plotty canon-based or canon-adjacent fanworks persists within the HP fandom to this day.
fandoms nowadays do tend more towards works that are stripped from their canon contexts (the infamous coffee shop au, media fusion aus, modern setting aus, no powers aus), and while these works did exist in Ye Old Fandom, they were both more rare and their reach was more limited.
Some Kind of Conclusion Because This Is An Essay Now I Guess
to present a synthesis scenario: a particular trope is generated and popularized by one fandom. due to its presence on consolidated platform sites, it becomes ubiquitous within that fandom, spawning further derivatives, copycats, reimaginings, and variations. as people migrate from fandom to fandom, both as a result of the media landscape itself and the ease of doing so on social media/multi-fandom sites, the trope or AU spreads to other fandoms, and is again further transformed by those fandoms. this continues ad infinitum.
this pattern is not limited to tropes in fanworks--it is applicable to every element of fandom, from discourse to meta to creative works to behavioural norms. the state of modern fandom is interconnected to the platforms on which fandom is hosted and the media on which it is based. no longer is the one common unifying element of fandom the source media--the unifying element is fandom itself. this is why we see, for example, people stating they get involved in fandoms for media they have no experience with--they do not know the source text, but they know fandom.
i could literally go on and on--i didn't even touch on things like the destruction of the fandom fourth wall, or the relationship to the practice of filing off the serial numbers, or the existence of BNFs (actual BNFs not people like you seek who just Have Friends and Make Things), or the connection to nostalgia, or the relationship to commentary and analysis-based fandom outlets such as rewatch podcasts, or-
there are literally so many elements here. i could talk about this forever. i probably will be talking about this forever. please god someone let me out of here HELP-
#fandom#fandom meta#fandom history#fandom analysis#what do i even tag this as#long post#asks#i cannot express how much this barely scratches the surface#obligatory charlie day conspiracy board meme
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Many US papers are giving front-page, above the fold treatment to university administrators going wild and calling in the cops on peaceful campus protests, first at Columbia, followed by Yale and NYU. Harvard, in a profile in courage, closed its campus to prevent a spectacle. Demonstrations are taking hold at other campuses, including MIT, Emerson, and Tufts.
This is an overly dynamic situation, so I am not sure it makes sense to engage in detailed coverage. However, some things seem noteworthy.
First, in typical US hothouse fashion, the press is treating protests as if they were a bigger deal than the ongoing genocide in Gaza. I am not the only one to notice this. From Parapraxis (hat tip guurst; bear with the author’s leisurely set-up):
I am employed as a non-tenure-track professor in a university department dedicated to teaching and research about Jews, Judaism, and Jewishness. One day, I arrived at work to find security cameras installed in my department’s hallway. I read in an email that these cameras had been installed after an antisemitic poster was discovered affixed to a colleague’s office door. I was never shown this poster. Like the cameras, I learned of it only belatedly. Despite the fact that the poster apparently constituted so great a danger to the members of my department as to warrant increased security, nobody bothered to inform me about it. By the time I was aware that there was a threat in which I was ostensibly implicated, the decision had already been made—by whom, exactly, I don’t know—about which measures were necessary to protect me from it. My knowledge, consent, and perspective were irrelevant to the process…
The prolepsis of the decision did more than protect me—if, indeed, it really did that. It interpellated my coworkers and myself as people in need of protection…. I was unwittingly transformed, literally overnight, into the type of person to whom something might happen.
My employer has a campus—three, actually—meaning that it has a physical plant. I navigate one of these campuses as my workplace, but it almost never figures for me as “the campus.” In fact, the first time since beginning the job when I felt myself caught up in an affective relation, not to the particular institution where I work, but rather to “the campus” was when I looked up into that security camera and felt myself being “watched” by it. Only then did I think, a couple of months into my temporary contract, that I was not just at my workplace. Now I was on “the campus.”
This incident with the poster and the camera occurred, of course, some weeks after the October 7 Hamas attacks on Israel and the onset of Israel’s retaliatory military campaign in Gaza. Against so horrific a backdrop, and relative to the intimidation and retaliation to which those who speak out against the war (including—indeed, especially—in the academy) have been subjected, my story sounds banal. And it is. In its very ordinariness, however, the anecdote is quite representative: first, of how decisions get made at contemporary institutions of higher education (generally speaking, without the input of those whom they impact); and second, of the logic of a peculiarly American phenomenon I call campus panic….
The months since October 7 have aggravated the most extreme campus panic I have witnessed. To judge by the American mass media, the campus is the most urgent scene of political struggle in the world. What is happening “on campus” often seems of greater concern than what is happening in Gaza, where every single university campus has been razed by the IDF. When all the Palestinian dead have been counted, it seems likely that these months will be recorded as having inflamed a campus panic no less intense than the one that accompanied the Vietnam War.
Second, many otherwise fine stories, like Columbia in crisis, again by the Columbia Journalism Review, and Columbia University protests and the lessons of “Gym Crow” by Judd at Popular Information, start off with the 1968 protests at Columbia as a point of departure. And again, consistent with the Parapraxis account and being old enough to remember the Vietnam War, I find the comparison to be overdone. Yes, there are some telling similarities, like the role of right-wing pressure in getting campus administrators to call out the cops, the device of dwelling on the earlier uprising seems to obscure more than it reveals. The Vietnam War, unlike Gaza, tore the US apart. Today’s campus students are, with only the comparatively small contingent of Palestinian students, acting to protest US support of slaughter in Gaza. In 1968, for many, the stake were more personal. The risk of young men having to serve was real.
Similarly, conservatives then supported the military and were typically proud of their or any family member’s service. Draft dodging and demonization of armed forces leaders was close to unconscionable. It took years of the major television networks and the two authoritative magazines, Time and Newsweek, showing what the war looked like, and intimating that the US was not succeeding, that shifted mass opinion.
And even the initial 1968 protests were more disruptive. The first wave at Columbia occupied some campus buildings, presumably disrputing operations. Today’s were encampments, as in outdoors. So they were more analogous to Occupy Wall Street, where the ongoing rebellion was an offense to authority even if it caused harm. But worse, the ones at Columbia and other schools now are by elites in training, and not presumed loser riff-raff.
So the aggressiveness of the crackdown looks like very insecure leadership. For instance, why escalate to calling in the NYPD immediately, as opposed to campus police, when the city’s cops reported everyone cooperated with the arrests?
This takes us to the third issues, that it isn’t just the students who oppose the stifling of protest, but also faculty. From the Popular Information article:
[President] Shafik’s actions were blasted in a statement issued on Friday by the Columbia and Barnard College chapters of the American Association of University Professors:
Shafik also drew a rebuke from the Columbia student council. In a statement, the council said that “students possess the inherent right to engage in peaceful protest without fear of retribution or harm” and called for “the preservation of freedom of speech and expression among students.”
Popular Information also points out how the Biden Administration is, natch, whipping up fear about possible dangers to Jews while ignoring that Muslims have been on the receiving end. Recall that ex-IDF soldiers who attacked pro-Palestinian protestors at Columbia in January went unpunished. Again from Popular Information:
On Sunday, the White House released a statement in response to the protests at Columbia, denouncing “calls for violence and physical intimidation targeting Jewish students”:
What incidents prompted this statement? A White House spokesperson did not immediately respond to a request for comment. But some media outlets are interpreting it as a response to this video, in which two unidentified men promise more terrorist attacks against Israel. According to the individual who posted the video, the incident did not occur on Columbia’s campus. There is no evidence that Columbia students were involved.
An NBC reporter, Antonia Hylton, who was on Columbia’s campus with protesters, reported no instances of “violence or aggression” among students.
Now we’ll turn to Rajiv Sethi, who as a professor at Barnard, has, for better or worse, a front row seat on the turmoil.
By Rajiv Sethi, professor of economics at Barnard College. Originally published at his website
My campus is in turmoil, and it’s hard to think or write about anything else. Dozens of students have been suspended, arrested, and barred from the premises. Others have been advised to leave for their own safety. Most entrances are closed altogether, and the few that remain open are guarded to prevent entry of non-affiliates. Calls for the resignation of leaders are coming from multiple quarters—some concerned about excessively punitive measures and others about inadequate enforcement and protection.
There are several reports on social media of harassment, intimidation, and the glorification of violence. Such reports often conflate what is happening outside the gates—involving people who may not be affiliates and who are on ground over which the university has no jurisdiction—with the protests on the South Lawn. Based on what I have seen personally, the latter protests have been peaceful, prayerful, and even joyful at times.1
I did see one sign directed at President Shafik that I felt was offensive and ill-advised. And there is one phrase—recently deemed anti-Semitic by an act of Congress—that has been repeated loudly and frequently within the gates. This post is about the meaning of that phrase, and about meanings and messages in general.
While on stage at a political convention in July 2015, Martin O’Malley said the following:
Black lives matter. White lives matter. All lives matter.
Taken literally, these words are entirely unobjectionable, even laudable. But O’Malley apologized for them within hours, saying: “That was a mistake on my part and I meant no disrespect.”
Why was the apology deemed necessary? O’Malley was running for the Democratic presidential nomination at the time, and to many of the voters he was courting, the words “all lives matter” had come to mean something else entirely—an expression of indifference to racial inequality at best, and perhaps even a racist dog whistle.
As phrases come to be endowed with new meanings, some people respond by carefully avoiding them, while others are motivated to adopt them with relish. This further entrenches the new meaning and reinforces the process of selective abandonment and adoption. Thus “Democrat Party” can come to be intended and perceived as an epithet, and the seemingly harmless chant “Let’s Go Brandon!” a vulgarity.
This process is decentralized and largely uncoordinated, and there is little that legislation can do to enforce the attachment of meanings to messages. Of course, this hasn’t prevented our elected officials from trying. On April 16, by a vote of 377-44, the House passed Resolution 883:
Expressing the sense of the House of Representatives that the slogan, “from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free” is antisemitic and its use must be condemned.
One day later, Columbia President Minouche Shafik was asked by Congresswoman Lisa McClain whether she agreed that such statements were indeed anti-Semitic. President Shafik answered as follows:
I hear them as such, some people don’t.
The problem with this response is that it suggests that listeners are free to assign meanings to expressions, regardless of the identities and intentions of speakers. But meanings are created jointly by speakers and listeners, and the same message can carry different meanings depending on what is known about the parties engaged in communication.
People have often appropriated and de-fanged racist, misogynistic, and homophopic insults aimed at the groups to which they belong. Even the most vile and vicious slur in the American language carries a different connotation when used by Randall Kennedy in conversation. The meanings of messages cannot be established independently of the indentities of those who use them. They cannot be established by listeners alone.
Thus the attempt by the House of Representatives to define the meaning of a phrase is likely to be futile. The meaning will evolve over time based on the process of selective avoidance and adoption. And this meaning is vigorously contested at present.
Consider, for instance, the Jerusalem Declaration on Anti-Semitism. This document states clearly that “denying the right of Jews in the State of Israel to exist and flourish, collectively and individually, as Jews, in accordance with the principle of equality” is anti-Semitic. However, it also proclaims:
It is not antisemitic to support arrangements that accord full equality to all inhabitants “between the river and the sea,” whether in two states, a binational state, unitary democratic state, federal state, or in whatever form.
President Shafik could have referenced the above in pushing back against the idea that meanings can be assigned by elected representatives or college administrators. I understand the pressure she was under, and it is difficult to give thoughtful responses under such circumstances. But it is important that moving forward, the use of this phrase alone not be used as a basis for disciplinary action.
One organization that I have come to admire over the past few years is the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE), which has been admirably consistent in defending freedom of speech on and off campus. On this phrase in particular, FIRE’s position is the following:
If students at a peaceful protest chant anti-Israel slogans like “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free,” that speech, taken alone, is protected political expression. Even if some understand the phrase to call for the destruction of Israel, it is still—absent more—protected as political speech, advocating in general terms for violence elsewhere at an unspecified time against a broadly defined target… But context is determinative: Were the same statement to be directed at a specific Jewish student by a student or group moving threateningly towards him, during a protest that has turned violent and unstable, it may arguably constitute a true threat.
This is the right position to take and I hope that Barnard and Columbia will adopt it. The keynote by Killer Mike at the 2023 FIRE Gala explains in the clearest possible terms the value of this perspective, and it will join the Reith lecture by Chimamanda Adichie and the Stanford Memo by Jenny Martinez (along with the Kalven Report and the Chicago Principles) as a classic in the pantheon of free speech advocacy.
Among the people who have addressed the students on the South lawn are Madmood Mamdani and Norman Finkelstein; I caught the tail end of the latter’s speech but couldn’t hear much because amplification was limited and he tends to speak quite softly. I do hope that the students who invited him will read his latest book, which is as fierce a critique of identity politics as one is likely to find anywhere.
Norman Finkelstein addresses student protestors at Columbia on April 19th, 2024
I received a response to this post from Seth Weissman, whom I first met when he was a graduate student at Columbia many years ago. I remember Seth fondly, and have enormous respect for him. His message is posted (with permission) below:
Rajiv, as usual, a very thoughtful take. That said, you are missing something. I say this as someone who knows and respects you as fair-minded and as an Orthodox Jew who is:
So what are you missing? I’m all for “from the river to the sea, Palestinians will be free.” That could mean in a binational state alongside Jews living freely, or in two states, one Palestinian (West Bank, Gaza, and the Arab sections of Jerusalem such as Abu Dis) and the other a Jewish home where Arab citizens are accorded full rights, which is the current (albeit imperfectly realized) concept of Israel. This is in accordance with the Jerusalem Declaration.
But the chant, “from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free” explicitly and willfully denies Jewish self expression. In a context where some of the protestors (not all, and I am making no claim as to what percentage) have expressed solidarity with Hamas, it can be taken no other way. And while the majority of the protestors would denounce Hamas (I hope), they are standing shoulder to shoulder with those who empathize with Hamas.
FYI, I have the scars from confronting nationalism and Islamophobia on the Jewish side. If I could pay the price for denouncing Jewish nationalists on my “side,” I can expect the protestors at Columbia and Barnard to do the same—criticize Israel without providing political support for terror and anti-Semitism.
1
After posting this I came across a credible report of significant harassment and intimidation within the Columbia gates. All classes at Barnard and Columbia are remote today, which I imagine is a prelude to clearing out of the encampment.
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I've scrolled through many liberal zionist blogs on tumblr. I've been looking for these bloodthirsty demon Jews you describe. And I can't find them.
All I see is people working to end a 100 year cycle of violence. I know it will be a sad day for you when they succeed and the violence ends. So you promote the extremism that ensures further violence. You probably know on some level how conflict resolution works and you know it requires recognition of humanity. But you prefer violence so you avoid anything that resembles conflict resolution. You think it's both-sides nonsense and you want nothing to do it. You're prepared to suggest that every Palestinian should die on this hill while you watch.
When you can demonize a global minority like Israeli citizens, it helps you relax. It helps you make sense of a complex world. I understand. The reality that millions of Israelis dedicate their lives to ending this violence disturbs you. They must all be lying, right? They must secretly gather in basements and drink baby blood and so on. This is why you'll never read the opinions of any Isreali. You already know all you need to know about baby blood. So you don't need to actually read what they think. "OP speaks Hebrew! Block and stay safe!"
i can very easily imagine the type of person that sends an essay to a brown woman accusing her of wishing for "extremist" violence to continue forever. unfortunately you're not very good at it. i follow very closely the work of ofer kassif, an israeli who- surprise surprise, posts in hebrew. this is just one of the israelies IN israel whom i respect. i have supported numerous jewish voice for peace projects here in the states.
also, your anti semitism accusations are also falling flat, as my partner for three years is matrilneraily ashkenazi, and for 3 years i have had to defend him and jews at large to actual anti semites in my family.
you can accuse those of us who chant "from the river to the sea" of extremism. but that won't change the fact that we are currently LIVING in a two-state solution world, and it is FAILING. because israel does not exist to protect jews, it exists to protect america's colonial interests.
i was going to go on regarding how israel actively endangers every jew not in israel, how it destroyed ashkenazi culture (yiddish is now an endangered language), its extreme racism towards ethiopian jews, its contempt for mizrahi and sephardic jews (who were intentionally settled by the gaza aparthied wall to serve as a shield for white jews), but i know it will fall on deaf ears.
in the words of palestinian revolutionary, leila khalid, "to the million jews living here. if you wish to continue living here, you must live side-by-side with the arabs in peace and equality. if you cannot accept that, leave."
i will not respond to you anymore, but it is the palestinians whose humanity for the past 80 years have been denied. no one wishes for the death of israelis. only the death of a racist settlement: israel.
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when i have time i wanna make a. fallout new vegas post-canon Thing regarding the companions. idk a little design sheet? short illustrated fic? for my idea of an independent ending (so, no gods no masters but with more of a followers of the apocalypse involvement/presence, which afaik was part of the original vision for fnv and was one of the many things that were cut due to time constraints). and some like, headcanons of how things turn out for them. test descriptions for the four human companions below the cut, i need to think about raul and lily some more. and i wanna give them all some Epilogue Designs. They Change. the journey changes them within and without.
Arcade Israel Gannon ended up staying in the Old Mormon Fort during the Second Battle of Hoover Dam and the unrest that followed the NCR's retreat. He made full use of his medical expertise where he knew it would be needed the most. With his direct involvement he saved many lives; that in turn caused him to see some of his wider-picture ideals through a new perspective, strengthening his belief in solidarity and community. He found a large stash of high-quality medical equipment and supplies in the Remnants’ bunker; he found it very appropriate, that from the history that used to weigh so heavily on him, he salvaged tools of healing and mending. He also decided to dedicate a lot of his time to teaching others. Through all the hard work he managed to overcome the need to isolate himself; with his hands full as they were, there was little time or need to maintain a barrier between himself and others.
Craig Boone became permanently disabled from the injuries he sustained when defending Bitter Springs from the Legion raid. Though unsatisfied with that resolution at first, he came to realize that protecting others was the right path for him all along, and what truly mattered: not retribution for harm already done, whether it be his or someone else's doing, but stopping harm and preventing harm. Having spent some time in and around New Vegas learning to live with his new condition and doing some odd jobs, he ended up as a sniper guard for the Followers. He maintained a close friendship with Arcade and Veronica. He also began receiving proper help for his mental health issues—something that was unthinkable back when he thought his suffering was necessary.
Veronica Renata Santangelo left the Brotherhood of Steel long before the battle. She fought alongside the Courier and witnessed first-hand the victory of the independent New Vegas. With all the new possibilities that came with that, and filled with newfound enthusiasm, she refused to wander aimlessly and decided to put her skills to good use. Despite initial reluctance she attempted once more to join the Followers of the Apocalypse, and found that she fit right in. She excelled at preserving data, fixing equipment, restoring technology, and supervising the transport of supplies. Though she missed the Brotherhood, and had many regrets, to her surprise the main one was that she hadn't done this much sooner. She was well aware that the Brotherhood would one day retaliate against the robot army protecting New Vegas, and that it would be a desperate hopeless struggle of a failing, conservative ideology. Knowing she had done all she could to prevent it, she decided she had to move on from feeling responsible for the future of those who refused to listen. Her gifts were needed elsewhere, and she got to make a real difference through her own decisions.
Rose of Sharon Cassidy felt deeply conflicted about the NCR's retreat from the Mojave, and was initially quite skeptical about the future of the independent New Vegas. In the Second Battle of Hoover Dam she fought alongside the Courier and lost her arm in a brutal attack by a centurion. It felt, at first, like a price she paid in someone else's name; a punishment for someone else's mistake, all in the name of allegiance she'd never really asked for. For a time she considered returning to California, following the NCR back to its territory with its relative stability she could count on, and figuring things out from there. It took her a lot of soul-searching to make the final decision to stay and join the Followers to work with Veronica in distributing supplies across the Mojave. She had always admired their idealistic approach, though she used to find it hopelessly naive. To see it actually working out in building a proper new society, free and more equitable than ever—she just had to see for herself how it would all turn out.
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Break.
elsy + chan
chan and elsy hit a point in their relationship that they never imagined, causing them to start having conflict.
this is part 1 of this elsy series. not too sure how many parts I’ll have but in the mean time just enjoy :) please feel free to leave feedback because it is always appreciated!
[8th member of got7/soloist]
elsy stood eagerly in the elevator as she waited for it to get on the floor chan’s dorm was in. it had been awhile since the two had seen each other, chan being busy with his schedule and traveling all over. but now, chan had a bit of free time to spend with the girl.
elsy had took a break from music after leaving her company. she left mainly at the fact she wasn’t given the proper support as she had in the beginning. she hadn’t been able to release new music and her only option was to leave. elsy felt as if she was letting her career go to waste if she continued to stay.
elsy was now walking fast and she was almost to chan’s dorm but before she could make it, chan was already walking out. “bang chan!” she exclaimed, smiling brightly at him. chan turned to her direction and instantly smiled when seeing elsy. the girl jumped on chan, wrapping her legs around his waist. “elsy! my love.” elsy hugged chan tighter, not saying a word. she missed being around him and it felt nice having him right in front of her.
chan put elsy down, the two going in for a kiss. “I’ve missed you so much.” she said, kissing him again. “it’s so nice to finally spend time with you.”
chan giggled, kissing elsy on the forehead. “I’ve missed you way more.”
“how are you doing?”
“great.” chan answered. “very tired of doing these schedules though. but it’s all worth it.” he smiled. “and you? what have you been up to?”
elsy sighed, “nothing if I’m being honest.” she answered. “I‘ve mostly been home. and also been hanging with yugyeom.”
“no new music?”
elsy shook her head. “as of right now, no.” the girl sighed again. chan gave her a reassuring smile. he knew she wanted to make music and perform again, and he knew how unfairly she was getting treated. “it’ll be okay, els.” chan said, giving her forehead another kiss.
“enough about this.” elsy clapped. “what do you feel like doing? we can go out to eat, maybe catch a movie, go shopping. you name it. I just want to spend time with you.” she smiled, wrapping her arms around chan’s neck.
“I’d love to do any of that stuff with you, els. but I have to work on new music. care to join me?” chan smiled.
elsy felt her smile drop. “you have to work on new music already?” she asked. “don’t you want a little break?”
“I can never take a break on music, els.” chan chuckled. “I enjoy it too much.”
elsy sighed. “you’ve been sighing a lot.” chan pointed out. “it’s okay if you don’t want to join me, els.”
“I haven’t seen you in awhile, of course I want to join you. but I was thinking we do other things besides being in the studio.”
elsy has always supported chan with everything he did, from work and just the person he is. she was always in the studio with him when he’s by himself and it’s late at night. she was always there for him. but recently, she felt like that’s all they ever do now. she wanted to do other things besides sitting in a studio all day or night.
elsy never said anything though, knowing how dedicated chan was to his work. but she knew she had to at least tell him how she felt.
and after spending almost all day there with him, elsy was growing a bit inpatient. “bang chan.” elsy said. the boy was too focused on his laptop to even pay attention. “bang chan.” she said again. still no answer. elsy sighed, walking over to him from the couch. “christopher.” he shook his shoulder finally getting his attention.
“w-what.” he said startled. “something wrong, els?”
“no. not exactly.”
“hm?”
elsy closed her eyes for a second, gathering her thoughts before talking again. “it’s just, we’ve been here all day. don’t you think we can do something else?”
“but I’m not done-“
“I know you’re not done, chan, but we can’t just always hang around in the studio. I don’t mind doing it once in awhile but all the time? you just have me here and we don’t do much.”
chan sat there, blank expression on his face. he wasn’t understanding. and that made elsy a bit ticked off with him. she missed the times where they would actually go out, not just sitting around while chan worked. “look, I’ll just go-“
“no!” chan shouted, startling the girl. “we can do something after I’m finished.”
“bang chan, we’ve been here for hours, let’s go out right now. you can save the work for later.” elsy said. she checked the time, seeing it was night time already. meaning she had wasted an afternoon.
“okay, at least let me finish-“
elsy shook her head. “no, chan.” this time she sounded stern. and chan took notice of her voice changing, staring back at elsy. “what’s wrong? you’re never like this, you’ve never had a problem being here with me-“
“because I keep it all to myself to not make you upset.” elsy cut in.
chan was taken back from elsy’s outburst. the girl could see how slightly upset how her boyfriend got. “what are you saying?”
elsy closed her eyes, sighing heavily as she opened her eyes. “what I’m saying is, I’m tired of being in the studio with you chan.” elsy answered. “this is all we do now, and I’m getting tired of it. I want to do more than just this. I enjoyed it the first couple of times but I don’t want to do this all the time.”
“but elsy, it’s my job.”
“I know it’s your job! but for once can you put your job to the side and put me first? you’re either away traveling or preparing for something. and the times you finally have some free time you just want to do this, chan.” elsy said, she stared into chan’s eyes intensely. “when’s the last time we’ve been on a date?”
chan was silent.
and that made elsy let out a small laugh of frustration. “wow, you can’t even name the last time we’ve had a date.” elsy could feel tears wanting to come down her eyes but she held them back as much as she could.
“I just care for my job elsy.”
“yeah, a little too much.”
“you just don’t understand.” chan said. elsy raised an eyebrow. “what do you mean I don’t understand?”
chan was silent again, eyeing everything but elsy. he knew she was staring at him, wanting an explanation of what he meant. and chan let the words slip out of his mouth. “you don’t understand because you haven’t been doing anything.”
elsy furrowed her brows. “what?” she said. “did I just hear you correctly?” it felt like a slap in the face for elsy, she knew chan knew her situation on why she wasn’t working.
“no, that’s not what I meant, that came out wrong-“
“so what exactly did you mean, bang chan?!”
chan could see the hurt in elsy’s eyes. but chan just couldn’t back himself up. he stood there, hesitating which only hurt elsy more. “please, elsy. I don’t need this right now.”
“oh poor you bang chan.” elsy shook her head in disbelief. “I’m so sorry I just want to spend time with my boyfriend. but I guess you’re not on the same page since all you care about is your job.” elsy knew how much chan put effort into his work, and she didn’t want to sound selfish. but she missed chan. she missed how things were.
“I’m sorry too elsy, but I just can’t have distractions right now.”
“oh my god?!” elsy exclaimed. “so now I’m a distraction?” tears began to fall down elsy’s face. “I can’t believe you right now.”
chan realized he screwed up more as he was mentally face palming himself. “no, no-“
“I don’t want to hear it.” elsy grabbed her purse and keys to get away from chan.
“elsy, come back please.” chan grabbed her wrist but elsy shook him away. “let’s talk this out.”
“no! you said what you said bang chan.” elsy snapped. “I’m leaving since you don’t want any distractions. have a nice night.” elsy slammed the door shut, leaving chan inside the studio alone.
and he was pissed and frustrated, more at himself for not thinking everything he said through. because now he hurt elsy, and hurting elsy was something he never wanted to do now that he was in a relationship with her.
elsy on the other hand, went inside her car crying her eyes out. her and chan never really argued in their relationship so this was a first one. she didn’t know what to do.
she was confused and hurt. how did her wanting to spend time with chan and letting him now end up to this?
#got7 imagines#got7 scenarios#got7 au#got7#kpop oc#kpop oc au#kpop au#kpop female oc#bang chan au#got7 8th member au#got7 8th member#got7 fanfic#got7 angst#got7 fanfics#stray kids au#female additional kpop oc#female kpop additions#kpop added member#kpop female addition
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Yandere America, Russia, England, Japan, and Austria ((and if possible China)) all find out that there darling is in head over hills in love with Prussia not caring if he's not a country anymore she loves him because he's awesome and makes her smile whenever he's around and one day hopes to merry him even ((oh and the darling is also a country too))
Since you asked so nicely, I wanted to get this out for you as soon as I could. I hope it's to your liking :) I'm a little stuck on China though and didn't want this post to be too long, so unfortunately I think I'm going to leave China out of this one.
Austria:
Honestly, Austria couldn't see how you can find Prussia to be more charming than him. Prussia was loud, unorderly, and just plain annoying. There were times when Austria was sure that Prussia was only with you in the first place to spite him. After all, the feeling of losing to Prussia was more than enough to create a strong sense of humiliation in him.
Austria however, won't let Prussia get away with this little prank of his this time. You may be fooled by Prussia's ways for now, but Austria is determined to make you see that he is a much better option for a woman like you.
He'll try to show you that he is much more mature and well-mannered through his works of art and music. People will begin to notice that Austria had placed a major hold on his duties in place of working diligently on creating the perfect piece just for you. He works tirelessly to string together just exactly how he feels about you into a perfect synchronized melody.
This will definitely create friction, not only between the three of you, but for anyone else affiliated with you three as well. There will be a division between who is cheering on who. On one hand, other countries feel for Austria and the hopeless romantic feelings he harbors for you. On the other, they were moved by your dedication to someone regardless of status. The remanence of that day when you proclaimed your love for Prussia against his own fears of not being good enough for you was truly heart wrenching.
Germany especially will be pulled into the middle of this dispute since he is their stronger, older brother, and both would want his support if things went south.
Not to mention, that Hungary is standing off to the side boiling with rage and jealousy. She feels as if you came in and took the man she loved so deeply. After all, she was married to Austria at some point and looked after him for many years. They may have only been married for political reasons, but she still held hope in her heart that one day Austria would wake up and find his feelings for her. Let's not forget that you decided to run off with Prussia of all people. Someone else who Hungary held deeply. She feels enraged thinking that you came in and stole her place in both of their hearts and is determined to make you pay.
All in all, this will definitely be one tricky and tense situation for anyone involved. There won't be threats of war since it's not really Austria's thing and Prussia doesn't have that sort of power, but fighting and heartbreaks between personifications are sure things to happen here.
What Austria is especially good at though is negotiations and political marriages. It wouldn't really surprise anyone, (but maybe Hungary), that he would try to solve this issue through marriage and would try time and time again to get you to sign a marriage contract with him. All in an effort to tie you to him and take Prussia out of the picture once and for all.
Japan:
Japan would be very conflicted over the matter and wouldn't know exactly what to do. Prussia is known to be a close friend of Japan and is even someone who he respects. Even so, he can't help but feel envious for Prussia winning your heart.
Japan hides his feelings for you well in an effort to congratulate his dear friend. However, he can't help the stinging in his heart whenever he listens to Prussia's blabbering about your relationship. Since the two of them are so close, Japan is very familiar with the struggles that Prussia went through before the two of you got together. He wanted to be happy for his friend, but why did Prussia have to be in love with you of all people? It felt like fate was against him here.
While Japan understands that the two of you are not very close and that you may not even realize that Japan has feelings for you in the first place, he can't help the irritation bubbling inside him at the fact the you love Prussia over him. He wants a close relationship with you so badly, but every time he's tried to approach you, he freezes up and becomes too flustered to hold any real conversations with you.
How can one help it when you just seem so beautiful and perfect in his eyes?
Japan just really wants to make sure to leave a good impression on you and gets too scared that he's going to mess it up. He was isolated from other countries for a few hundred years, so it's only natural that he's not the most in touch with socializing. He had hoped that you would have seen through this little barrier of his, but it seemed that you didn't and were swept away by Prussia instead.
He'd try to bury and contain his feelings for you in any way he could. But even so, it was like you had somehow pledge his mind. There will be many nights where he'd be alone and taken over by his bottled feelings for you and have a strong need to relieve these feelings. Japan will have a collection of various arts dedicated to you such as painting, secret manga series, and even wood carvings and dolls. It's a dirty secret of his that he makes sure is secured under lock and key.
Although, as the fate of all things kept secret, his feelings for you will one day slip.
Maybe he was tried after pulling another all nighter of making his latest masterpiece of you and was being visited by Prussia. He would just be going on about their relationship when Japan suddenly says something impolite and out of character for him. When he realizes what he had just said, everything pretty much starts to go downhill from here.
Japan may try to remask his feelings for you but it won't hold for long. Once the lid to his bottled emotions was loosened, there's no stopping the trickling of his true feelings. Once he realizes he's been found out about, (possibly finding his hidden collection), Japan will snap completely and play sorta dirty over you.
He knows that Prussia is in no position to protect you from any real danger and you're military is no where near his abilities. So Japan may just skip any actual economical scheming or threats of war and just up and kidnap you.
If the two of you are smart, then you'll know that fighting him would be near suicide. If not, and you choose to try to fight back or Prussia tries to receive help from his brothers, then Japan is always capable of threatening (and or) going through with his threats of destroying your country and your people. After all, if you're dwindled down to the same status as Prussia, then you really won't be able to do a thing against him.
England:
You choosing Prussia would annoying him like no other. He already saw Prussia as unwitted, prude, and just down right obnoxious. Like Austria, England wouldn't be able to wrap his head around how you could ever fall for someone like Prussia over him.
England was well educated, treated you very gentlemanly, and even spent mass amounts of effort to include your smaller country in high-end business meetings and trades that benefitted your country tremendously. Even so, you choose this glorified nobody over him.
Okay, maybe the way he treated you was a bit more glamorous in his mind than in reality, but he really is trying here. He'd try to compliment or help you, but he didn't want to seem too desperate or clingy and would insult you on accident instead. Those who were close to him understood his actual feelings but unfortunately, you were not.
As a result, It drove him obsoletely crazy when you confessed your feelings for Prussia in front of everyone.
At first, England could only sulk and throw insults your way. He'd go on and on about how you've sunk so low, or that you don't actually love Prussia and that the only reason you're with him in the first place is because you know you can't do any better than a nobody like him. When he said that last bit, he may have received a well-deserved bitch-slap... :)
As time goes on, England will only be seething with more rage and jealousy. Others close to him have tried and tried again to coax him into letting you go, but he's just too damn stubborn. Interference with your relationship from England in bound to happen eventually.
One day, England will get the most delicious idea he's ever had and he can hardly contain his excitement when he finally puts it all together. If you won't come to him yourself, then he'll just have to make you.
As a member of the great nations, he has a vast amount of wealth and power. Definitely more than you or Prussia combined. He can use this to his advantage and sabotage your reputation.
Do you get most of your resources from international trade? Well now he's overbought important recourses you buy so the prices are inflated or just unavailable. Are you a country of vast agriculture? Somehow there's been a deadly fungus taking over your crops and making it difficult to feed your people. The list of England's torment reaches no end.
You're not a wealthy country, so these handicaps he's created have made what little resources you could obtain from difficult to just downright impossible for you to possess. You'll become weaker and poor. Drained from the mass amount of pressures that England has created for you.
However, it's not enough for England to just be with you anymore. He passed that point a long time ago and is a man with a touchy ego. What he desires most now is for you to completely give in to him both country and self. So that you could never obtain the power to do something so vile against him ever again.
Russia:
These were truly grueling times for a lot of people. Russia was currently at his peak for power and seems to be occupying more countries with each passing day. Due to Russia's rise in power, it would only spelt disaster for you and Prussia.
The two of you had banded together during these difficult times so that life forced in Russia's house wasn't as bad. At least together, you and Prussia could find comfort in eachother during the small moments the two of you would to have together.
Russia was already all over you, as you were his favorite for seemingly unknown reasons. He'd call on you for just about anything; Bring his food, fix him his drinks at the end of a long day. Even just ordering you to keep him company on the days he has a lot of paperwork to do.
On the fateful day he finds out about your secret relationship with Prussia, all hell breaks loose.
There is no hesitation in Russia's actions as he quickly pulls the two of you apart. Not a single word is uttered from Russia as he starts wailing on Prussia with his metal pipe that he's seemed to pull from out of thin air.
Prussia will forever be haunted by the dead look in Russia's eyes. It was as if what little light Russia had left in his heart was sapped from his body. Leaving nothing behind but an hallow shell of a man. All you can do is cry as you helplessly beg Russia to stop. He was much bigger and stronger than you, so there wasn't much you could do to stop him.
When Russia finally notices you, his whole figure shift as if a fire had been lit inside him. He'll forget about Prussia in the moment and focus on how to punish you.
You did break his heart after all. You must pay.
Without a second thought, (or maybe without thought at all), he'll throw you over his shoulder and drag Prussia's batted form down to the cellar.
That was the last time you saw Prussia. You know he's still locked in the basement but you're unable to see him. Russia now has you glued to his side 24/7. You're forced to follow him in every activity he does no matter how mundane or secretive it is.
You're not in a position to deny him.
Even when Russia's power was slowly diminished and the others were freed, you seemed to be the only one that Russia could not stand to let go. Not even America could get him to budge.
Prussia would be forced to watch you sadly from the other side. Powerless and unable to help you escape from the loving prison Russia seems to have encased you in.
America:
Despite the fact the Prussia and America have a great bond with eachother, they're both still very competitive people. You're just the biggest thing they've competed over and neither of them are willing to lose this time.
It was well known by everyone that they both shared feelings for you. After all, neither of them are very secretive about their feelings and practically threw themselves at you whenever you're around. They'd actively try to outdo the other in an attempt to impress you. When the day comes that you openly choose Prussia over America, things become very awkward and tense.
America doesn't acknowledge, or rather, respect, the fact that you're in a relationship with Prussia. He won't only not back down from trying to show off to you at any chance he gets, he's now trying to tie the two of you together through contracts and alliances in hopes that he can persuade you into leaving Prussia for him. You've tried to tell him off many times and Prussia has even started fist fights in an act to get America to back off, but even that doesn't seem to shake his determination he has for you.
Like all the other nations in this post, America is well aware of the fact that Prussia is powerless in comparison to them and is going to use that fact to his utmost advantage; Regardless of how dirty and cruel it may seem. What America also recognizes is the fact that personifications are not like normal people and are forced to bend to the will of their people; Especially their bosses.
There comes a time where America realizes that if you won't give in to him and his wonderous ideas, then he can always go over you head and straight to the main head of your country. Your boss would be thrilled to make connections with America. Anyone would be really if they were only looking surface level.
America is the most powerful country there is with it's mass wealth, technology, and culture. It seems almost like a no brainer to your boss and signs you away without even a second opinion from you.
He sometimes will feel some sort or remorse over how your boss practically threw you under the bus in order to deepen his own pocket and makes sure the man pays some sort of penalty for it in the future. America also gives you a bit more freedom in this situation than he would in any other scenario with you.
America would treat you extra well and shower you in anything your heart desires. He even allows you to still attend meetings and retain any connections you had previously with other countries. Besides maybe a select few such as Prussia (obviously), Russia since he's not on good terms with him, and most likely Germany in fear that he may sympathize with you or his brother and meddle with all that America has done.
Life with him will be luxurious, yet stiffening as America slowly sinks his teeth further into your politics and international affairs to match his ideologies and goals.
#hetalia#yandere hetalia#yandere england#hetalia japan#yandere america#yandere russia#yandere austria
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Anxious and a perfectionist, Showtime is either a kid with too much on his shoulders, a madman like his father Joey Drew, or a promising, eager director depending on who you ask. With a strong need to please and a determination to prove himself worthy of his status as the one to continue the legacy of his father, Showtime manages the other toons with a smile and Sin by his side to keep him from losing his head.
When he was just a young adult, Joey gave Showtime the task of managing the toons, trusting in the oldest among them to organize them properly. Showtime took to the job quite well, wanting nothing more than to show Joey what he was capable of, he kept everyone in line to make sure that they all played their parts in keeping the studio working and resolving issues among them. While his attempts to lead sometimes borders on bossing the others around, Showtime is almost always putting in a ton of work to make sure everything runs smoothly. He’s so dedicated to his job and responsibility in fact, that breaks are rare for him and even when asked to, he’s very hesitant to take a day off.
That’s one of the reasons Sin, a very close friend of Showtime has taken to being the demon’s right hand man. Where Showtime goes, she follows, helping him keep organized and calm as they do their work. Though it was like that before they were coworkers as well. She knows how to help Showtime not overthink every decision they make around the studio and the two have only grown closer while working together. Showy would have no clue how to keep himself from puddling constantly without her and he says so very often. He’s very honest about his love and admiration for her, but how deep his love flows he is not so open about...
While there is no doubt for how much Showtime is grateful to have Sin by his side, his constant need to keep as clean an image as he can of himself does lead to quite a bit of conflict between the two and others as well. Showtime is an extreme people pleaser and his need to be a perfect role model for children and as uncontroversial a figure he can be leads him to deny himself many simple pleasures in his day to day life. Even when the cameras and spotlights stop shining on him, Showtime seems very invested in not doing anything people would deem inappropriate or out of place for a Bendy character, citing the fact that while humans are born, he was created. The machine created him first, gave him to honor of being Joey’s oldest child and he takes that responsibility very seriously. He was chosen and their had be a reason, he had to prove he could be Joey’s true son despite his adopted toon status. He was another one of Joey’s creations and Joey always, always, strives for perfection.
Joey couldn’t be prouder of the little toon that the ink machine blessed him with and Showtime can’t think of anyone more blessed than he is. Despite his anxiety and frantic nature, Showtime is determined to prove to himself and the world there was a reason he was given this responsibility. He has to rise to the expectations of his father and his friends.
There’s always a reason... Isn’t there?
#batim#bendy and the ink machine#Showtime Drew#batim Showtime#bendy and the dark revival#batdr#bendy and the ink machine au#it's showtime#toon#cartoon#artists on tumblr#It's showtime#refs#ref#website stuff#not ask#sorry for dissappearing for a bit!#posting will resume very soon in fact a lot of posts are outright ready rn#weve just been busy lately!#but rest assured we are not dead lmao
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The Home-maker, Dorothy Canfield Fisher
The Home-maker by Dorothy Canfield Fisher was such a lovely read. I dare say it’s what got me back into sitting down in the evening to enjoy a book. The book is built on the simple but intriguing premise of a story of (traditional) role reversal between husband and wife (housekeeping / earning an income). There’s so much more than this.
The writing is brilliant and it’s all I love about all of the Persephone Books selection. The subject matter might be mundane, yet each character is treated with so much depth. Through her word choices she conveys so much and paints a small window into the inner thoughts of each character, reminding us how lived experiences and thoughts differ (the nuances! the different povs!) and how everyone (even, and especially, the children) has a rich interior life and a lot to be valued for. Each having his own merit and his own intelligence. I found her approach of telling the story through the minds of the different characters very refreshing. Not one single character was one-dimensional. We get to see different facets of Helen, the wife, for example: we see her overlooking and frightening her children (involuntarily) but we also understand why she’s behaving like that and what’s making her miserable [“What she thought was her duty had held her found fast in a death-like silence and passivity” is such a good sentence]. We get to see Lester, the husband, and both how society sees him and how this reflects on how he sees himself. But we also see them evolve throughout the story, both becoming more at ease, changing their views of each other, and also dedicating more time to the children.
The kids are at the centre of the story and you can see between the lines some of the Montessori principles at work – mostly, I think, Canfield is arguing that children needs respect. Next to the recognition of the value of homemaking, this is very much central to the book. The “little human souls” are as worthy as the adult ones. I can say it did make me think about raising children a lot.
I was hooked from the first chapter, where I could relate a lot about the duty and stress of housekeeping – all the little things that need to be done, the thoughtful considerations, the sense of duty and of never-ending work. I found that I could understand a lot of the subtext because I could relate in many ways, either because of my own experience or because of that of people close to me (my grandmother came to mind for example).
The children’s reaction (fawn / flight / fight) for example. The description of anxiety. The psychosomatic connection with stress as a catalyser, which is a prevalent theme throughout the entire book for pretty much all of the Knapp family (Henry and Lester and their stomach issues, Helen and the eczema). Considering when this book was written, I found it eminently brilliant.
Yet, there’s still so much more. She touches on the role of poetry and the arts. She comments on how this arrangement can work only as long as it is socially acceptable (which is when it is forced upon the family, not chosen). She comments intelligently on consumer trends. She hints at conflicting values and different dispositions. Her portrait is a nuanced one, that is not all rosy.
Towards the last few chapters I had a growing anxiety – I was left waiting for a bad turn. Yet, like the other Persephone books I read, it has a happy ending. I wasn’t prepared for that. I somehow can’t have only good things happening, not being thwarted.
Overall, it was a great piece of fiction that’s both insightful and relevant to the day, while being also a comfortable, good read. The introduction and the final essay written for the edition were equally great.
#book notes#the homemaker#dorothy canfield fisher#so listen. it's not a newsletter but. i thought i'd try to write more about what i read and share it. so here you go.
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found a lovely little interview with Unai from his co-written book "Mentalidad ganadora":
What is perfect happiness for you?
- A deep inner feeling that is not conditioned by the outside.
What is your greatest fear?
- I try not to use the word "fear" because I know well that it conditions. There is a fear that is perhaps necessary at certain times in order to be able to respond to events. (proceeds to talk about football which is irrelevant here) I don't live in fear.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
- I have never had a clear reference, to be honest. The prototype can be a person of integrity, respect, and a fighter for positive things.
Which living person do you admire the most?
- I admire hard-working people and people who put in place the progress, welfare, and peaceful coexistence of human beings.
What is the personality trait you like least about yourself?
- Uncontrolled selfishness.
And what do you dislike the most in the others?
- Envy and resentment.
What is your biggest extravagance?
- I don't consider myself an extravagant person. I would be embarrassed.
On what occasions do you lie?
- In white lies. For example, when your mother calls you and asks, "Have you had dinner?" And you haven't had dinner yet, because you haven't had time. Things like that, of little importance.
What do you like least about your appearance?
- I don't like to see myself on television or on the internet. I don't look good (to) myself. I think it's the conflict we people have of wanting to be perfect. I like to give a personal touch to my clothes. A coach once told me, "You talk faster than you think", yes, I speed up when I talk.
When and where have you been happiest?
- I think I have always been happy, I feel happy internally, with virtues and defects. I have never had excessive ambitions. My images of happiness are: as a child, with my friends, siblings, and family, and with a lot of football around me. I have always felt fortunate.
If you could change anything in your life, what would it be?
- Maybe, when I was a soccer player, I stopped studying for too many years.
If you could change anything in your family, what would it be?
- My wife is from Malaga and I am from Guipuzkoa. From the virtues of seriousness, responsibility, and dedication to our obligations, maybe we northerners have the defect of not being very caring and detail-oriented for the "little big moments". The attachment of families, in the North, is more to do than to say. When it comes down to it, it really should be half-and-half…
What do you think has been your greatest achievement?
- Doing my profession with patience and perseverance.
If you died and were reincarnated as a person or a thing, what would it be?
- Actually, I would like to be me again. A person close to me, whom his friends call "vinegar" because of how negative (sour) he can be, thinks things like, "Why was I brought into this world if I didn't ask to come?" My position is the opposite.
What is your most precious treasure?
- My son, without a doubt. My heart is largely occupied by my son and my family, my friends, and the teams in which I have been lucky enough to develop: Real Sociedad, Toledo, Ferrol, Leganés, Lorca, Almería, Valencia.
What do you consider to be the greatest human misery?
- Inequality, which leads to poverty. I am neither left-wing nor right-wing, but I consider this world to be very badly distributed. And that we are all quite selfish… In this generalized selfishness, everyone moves in 80 percent only for what is in their interest. The 20 percent in the most solidary ones are the example, thinking of others. There are few people who really work against inequality.
Who are your heroes in real life?
- My son, because he embodies his mother's values and mine. What I value most in my son is how happy he is. To see in a son how much he loves his mother and how much he loves me is fantastic.
What do you dislike the most?
- Getting up in the morning when the day before we lost a game. Since I was a player I can easily disconnect and sleep thinking about positive things, but the memory of what happened comes to me when I wake up. I sleep well but I wake up thinking about and working on the game.
How would you like to die?
- Without being afraid of death, which is something I'm not worried about right now. I would like to die surrounded by the people I love the most. And providing more peace to them than they would do to me.
What is your personal motto?
- My internal motto is: "Come on, come on, Unai, don't stop, move forward" and I tend to express it in different ways. Go forward, with strength. For example, when we score or when we win a game, I make a very characteristic gesture (a very sportsmanlike gesture, moving my right arm inwards) I think that you have to do things as well as possible, the circumstances that you create are the path to success. Because the better you do things, the more likely you are to succeed.
I love all of this; especially the way it goes from "who is your hero" to "how would you like to die", lol. But seriously, it's a nice insight into Unai's soul, and I will be using the hell out of it.
#unai emery#also i get a strong feeling that he is a pacifist so he wouldn't fit into the Txoria txori scenario really but anyway....
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— BASICS.
IS YOUR MUSE TALL / SHORT / AVERAGE? somewhere on the cusp between average and short. 5'6.5"
ARE THEY OKAY WITH THEIR HEIGHT ? some might argue the .5 is proof enough he's touchy about his height - which he is, as the malnourished runt of a notably tall, sturdy roman-nordic family line (all of which different iterations of himself, meaning large used to be his default). he remains unbothered by any other comparison however - to modern humanity or creatures alike. his size is a feature far more often than he anticipated, so that helps.
WHAT’S THEIR HAIR LIKE? thick and dark, holds an immaculate wave. subject to frequent and willful change, including a permanent 'genetic dyejob' from his natural light blonde to the black he sports now. likes to keep it luxuriously long whenever able, but has sported both short masculine cuts and scalp-tight shaves for practicality's sake.
DO THEY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR HAIR / GROOMING? rarely, beyond brushing.. doesn't bother with intricate hairstyles or accessories unless forcibly assed by the dresscode of some event or societal position. even then, he tries to opt for the simplicity of tails or singular braids.
DOES YOUR MUSE CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE / WHAT OTHERS THINK ? considering the amount of changes done to it - from colors to bone structure - and the variety of vessels his souls has held, he understandably feels no strong attachment to his visual presentation. has a vague preference for fashion and a knowledge what he looks good in, but his enjoyment of sharp angles, dark metals and masculinity does not speak of a strict adherence to it
— PREFERENCES
▸ INDOORS OR OUTDOORS? outdoors, diehard village boy. ▸ RAIN OR SUNSHINE? rain. ▸ FOREST OR BEACH? forest. ▸ PRECIOUS METALS OR GEMS? precious metals, far more versatile and visually appealing. ▸ FLOWERS OR PERFUMES? perfume (for the longevity alone). flowers don't particularly like him. ▸ PERSONALITY OR APPEARANCE? personality. appearance has little impact on his opinion beyond surface level sexual attraction (which means nothing in the grand scheme of partner choice). ▸ BEING ALONE OR BEING IN A CROWD? can handle either for an impressive while before feeling a craving for the other. forever middleground - spending time in trusted company. ▸ ORDER OR ANARCHY? anarchy, it serves his goals best and he finds it far more stimulating. order can be stifling in more than small doses. ▸ PAINFUL TRUTHS OR WHITE LIES? capable of stomaching and saying both (less so the former). ▸ SCIENCE OR MAGIC? he sees magic as science, as proven by him reverse engineering it. ▸ PEACE OR CONFLICT? conflict. ▸ NIGHT OR DAY? night. ▸ DUSK OR DAWN? dusk. ▸ WARMTH OR COLD? cold. ▸FEW CLOSE FRIENDS OR MANY ACQUAINTANCES ? (very) few close friends. ▸ READING OR PLAYING A GAME?
— QUESTIONNAIRE
WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MUSE’S BAD HABITS? To narrow down the definition of 'habit', I'm excluding more general inclinations more connected to psyche like 'impulsivity', 'manipulation', 'obsessiveness'. As such, lying is his worst habit - a skill honed to perfection and utilized without much thought, on automatic. Some might call him compulsive, but it's much more controlled than it might seem. Second best is his habit of disorganization and physical mayhem - he's unconcerned with order as it isn't as stimulating, so makes little effort to allot dedicated places for things when his memory suits him well enough in navigating the chaos he creates. Other physical habits include the marks of his restlessness, colloquially The Ten Tenseness Tells: oral mannerisms like chewing (fixation), tongue clicking, whistling, humming, foot tapping, fidgeting or playing with items, drumming fingers in tune, touching - texture fixation, cracking knuckles, picking wounds/scabs.
HAS YOUR MUSE LOST ANYONE CLOSE TO THEM? HOW HAS IT AFFECTED THEM? His daughter, Avita. Not only his only living child after countless children lost in infancy, but one whose life and death was the direct result of Nikodemus' gluttony for power beyond his due. It was just about the most devastating loss to at last watch her grow and give his all to ensure she thrived in safety, fully assimilated within a loving community, only to watch those very people bring about her demise when she proved far more powerful than they deemed safe. It broke Nik, in a sense, to lose her to the very power he'd pursued in the name of ascension above mortality, humanity, vulnerability, which in the end provided nothing but a dangerous alienation. In the true fashion of a grieving parent, he razed that town to the ground and pursued eternal life - in turn, eternal time to amend his daughter's death and reach ultimate indomitability - both for himself and for her. He walked away much colder from the ashes of Krilnei.
WHAT ARE SOME FOND MEMORIES YOUR MUSE HAS? Many, though with painfully few people. Most notably and importantly, time spent with Antonín and Avita. His life as light-touched King Lucius alongside his brilliant sworn knight Adiel (as well as said era's eventful end - and beginning of a terrible, wonderful bond) is indispensibly precious to him. Holding his daughter for the first time in millenia was unforgettable. There are many gentler, softer moments he holds dear as well - memorable in their uneventful domesticity, in the rush of simply living without haste or need for novelty. Rarity for a man like him.
IS IT EASY FOR YOUR MUSE TO KILL? Taking a life is a method of sustenance to him as natural as breathing and eating is to humans. His life, immortality and magic all hinge on a mechanism he's built centered around the automatic sacrifice of a life for his own. There's an eerie passivity to it all. — and beyond that, he doesn't shy away from killing directly and violenty with his own two hands either.
WHAT’S IT LIKE WHEN YOUR MUSE BREAKS DOWN? Explosive. Bloody. Apocalyptic. If only for the fact he doesn't break down at all. Whatever emotions should be externalized in their raw form instead manifest into anger, impulsivity, violence, desire, desperation - distractions with which to inflict collateral upon his surroundings. Instead of introspection, he self-soothes through sheer chaos, hedonism or rampage. If unable, he would simply shut down, forced to feel everything in its brutal sincerity - a pain he can rarely afford.
IS YOUR MUSE CAPABLE OF TRUSTING SOMEONE WITH THEIR LIFE? No. In the sense of genuine incapacity to do as much. His life is no longer so easily endangered to begin with, marked by immortality and, half the time, near invulnerability. Its loss is not permanent, so trust is a moot point. To put it in the actual hands of another means endangering millenia of survivalism and pursuit for power, so the notion is nigh unthinkable. Nor the inclination, really. After 600 BC and the betrayal he suffered at the hands of his most loyal to which he entrusted his own life, he's since ventured to ensure it never happens again. There is one notable exception to the rule, of course - Antonín Cainhurst (exception to much concerning Nikodemus). His eldritch blood essence is an immutable part of Nik, infecting his very physical body and even extending to his spirit, soul and magic. A bond that took centuries of trust to be approved and centuries more to bloom.
WHAT’S YOUR MUSE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE? Unsure. He is unsure - no longer possessed of his usual unquestionable confidence, nor thoughtless egotism. Love, genuine love gives him pause of consideration. Makes him selfless, concerned, un-self-absorbed. Has him contemplative of the other's needs, their wants, his own actions and compromises, if he should really even stay when it may be better to.. go.
#𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 ‒ nikodemus ║ DASH GAMES#is this a dash game??#i don't know but i'm tagging YOU anyway#this was extensive as hell and interesting to think about#DO IT I LOVED IT
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A, E, and L for the fanfic ask game
Ask game link here if anyone else wants to send in an ask!
Apologizing ahead of time for me going on too long on the first one.
A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?
This is really hard to answer because I've written a lot, and a lot of it is old and not good quality anymore. Even older stories I like a lot despite thinking they're bad.
My very first Mumbleshipping fic, just called "Mumbleshipping" and only existing on FFN, is one of my fics that I reread the most, not because it's good, but because the process of writing that story brought me so much happiness. I was learning a lot and used that fic as a sandbox for a lot of headcanons and scenarios and indulgent drama. It was pure fun.
My Joukai fic "Booty Call" is one that I love and reread a lot too. It's a story told out of order on purpose, and that's so fun to me, and I would love to read a story like that that I didn't write myself: snapshots of a relationship/conflict in many different stages, out of chronological order. I'm still mostly proud of that one.
And "Rock Bottom" is my favorite AU of course, though not my favorite fic. Season Zero needs to be completely rewritten, along with most of Season One and the waterfront duel in Season Two. But however bad and overdramatic the premise and the first fic is, this AU and these versions of the characters are so close to my heart. I've carried this AU with me for years, dedicated notebooks to it, charted out tournaments, created decks, WRITTEN ENTIRE DUELS IN DETAIL. And yeah, I skipped over Monster World the first time because I was intimidated, but I will go back and fix that eventually. This is my baby as much as it makes me cringe, and the day I stop loving it is the day I stop writing.
E: What character do you identify with most? Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?
Probably Ryou, especially when I had more anxiety issues since I've always headcanoned him as, but I project onto Kaiba a weird amount given how unalike we actually are. I don't know that there's a specific fic that best captures that, though in the Minorshipping fic Missing/Food of Love, I did go so far as to give him my eating disorder, which is a very early example of my Duke Devlin cooking headcanons, and the beginning of Duke becoming a comfort character for me.
L: Which of your fanfics was the most emotionally challenging to write?
Oof, that's a tricky one, because I write a lot of whump/angst, which is not easy for me as an empath, but I do specifically remember Desperate Measures being a rough one to write. It was inspired by a similarly dark Protectshipping/Tendershipping fic, except theirs was so dark that I actually had to stop reading it for the sake of my own mental health. The other difference is that my fic steals an NCIS episode plotline and adapts it to Yugioh characters, because I'm really weird like that.
#answered ask#ask game#thanks for asking!#sorry for the long answer#i will absolutely talk your ear off if you ask the right kind of question bc i was never allowed to talk about my interests to my family :/#enemyoflactose
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