#Am I Allowed To Cry? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taylornation · 24 days

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We have exactly a fortnight to go through the five stages of heartbreak before THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT arrives. 💔 Thankfully, Taylor and Apple Music made these playlists to prepare us.

Press play and let us know what stage you’re in. 🥲

#Taylor Swift #The Tortured Poets Department #TS TTPD #I Love You It's Ruining My Life #You Don't Get To Tell Me About Sad #Am I Allowed To Cry?#Old Habits Die Screaming #I Can Do It With A Broken Heart #Apple Music #5 Stages of Heartbreak #Playlists

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nighttime-thoughts · 5 days

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Am I allowed to cry when I was the one who destroyed us ?

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shitpostdevil · 7 days

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Am I Allowed to Cry?

(((SatoSugu one shot)))

Drowning in the Blue Nile

He sent me "Downtown Lights"

I hadn't heard it in a while

My boredom's bone-deep

This cage was once just fine

Am I allowed to cry?

‘Why didn’t you chase him?’

The words echo in my mind,

haunting me as I stare

at the bare wall of my dorm room

where photos used to stay.

It was my responsibility as a jujutsu sorcerer

to stop exactly what Suguru caused.

His smile was so soft.

He knew I wasn’t going to understand

and he didn’t even try to convince me.

He was always like that this last summer.

Something in him changed after Amanai died.

I’m pretty sure he had thought I was dead too

from the look on his face

when I walked into that room holding her corpse.

I knew I had changed.

Being on the brink of death will do that to a person.

I grip my bedsheets,

gritting my teeth at the tears

that burned their way out of my eyes

against my protest.

All I remember after that is screaming

until I heard Shoko’s voice.

“Give him space,

get out of here!

Gojo, hey, Gojo-”

I dream of cracking locks

Throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks

Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox

I'm seeing visions, am I bad?

Or mad? Or wise?

Do we still talk?

It would be unwise to indulge the answer to that.

How they haven’t found me out yet?

I have no idea.

They must trust their golden boy enough

to not assume that he would be

in the bed of a criminal after long missions,

dressing my wounds,

always stretching out the time.

He explained himself.

Adopted two little girls-

I can’t blame him for doing what he did,

but I would never say that out loud.

This world is… horrible.

We know that better than anyone I suppose.

What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?

One slip and falling back into the hedge maze

Oh, what a way to die

I keep recalling things we never did

Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trysts

Without ever touching his skin

How can I be guilty as sin?

Staring at my phone screen,

my scrolling through pointless pictures

paused by his text;

When are you coming over next?

Simple, but he always did get straight to the point.

My finger absent-mindedly twirls

around the black cat phone charm that he got for me-

something I had claimed I’d won in a random gacha pull,

but I knew the truth and that’s all that mattered.

Part of me needed him with me,

even if I couldn’t admit it.

I want to drop everything and run to him

every

damn

time.

Soon. I text back,

locking my phone and letting my arm drop,

painted fingertips grazing over sheets

he will never see again.

I keep these longings locked

In lowercase, inside a vault

Someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts

Only your actions talk

“How long are you going to do this, Gojo?”

Shoko quizzes me,

her face holds a touch of disapproval

but not disappointment.

I just look at her.

Does she really expect me to give an answer for that?

Until the day I die.

I want to say.

Want to scream.

I can’t even give an actual answer

because all that would give is

confirmation that I still see the ‘traitor’.

She knows.

She has to.

She… saw how badly it broke me-

feelings I never want to unleash again.

“What are you talking about?”

I finally ask,

eyes begging her to drop it through sunglasses.

She just pulls out her cigarette box silently,

flipping the top open

and holding it in my direction, offering.

I take one.

These fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath

Taking all of me, we've already done it in my head

If it's make-believe

Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

“S-Satoru~”

His liquor soaked breath stutters in the dark

as I work my art on him,

messy kisses to the insides of his thighs,

leaving marks that will only be known to us.

His hands are tangled in my hair loosely,

tightening every moment he feels good.

He refuses to be quiet,

but I couldn’t complain.

“A God amongst men,

and you’re begging for me.”

I state breathlessly,

smirking up at him.

He just hums in pure amusement.

“You always were so cocky~”

he chides,

hips bucking when my lips find his leaking head.

“You were saying?” I ask.

“Mm-mmm~” he says as he pushes my mouth onto his cock.

I can’t help but give him what he wants.

What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?

One slip and falling back into the hedge maze

Oh, what a way to die

My bedsheets are ablaze, I've screamed his name

Building up like waves crashing over my grave

Without ever touching his skin

How can I be guilty as sin?

Shoko notices the hickey I tried my hardest to cover

almost immediately.

Deny.

“The girl I was with wasn’t really as careful as I asked her to be.”

I bluffed, laughing.

Her eyes questioned deeper,

but not her voice.

What if I roll the stone away?

They're gonna crucify me anyway

What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me

They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly

I choose you and me religiously

“You know this can’t last forever Satoru.” He says.

I clench my jaw.

Of course I know that.

Why did he feel the need to bring this up again?

His hands are so gently painting my fingernails black.

It was his way of being intimate without having to admit it.

I secretly loved having any trace of him on me that I could get.

I don’t want to respond to him,

I just want to stay here,

at this moment.

Forever.

I never wanted him to stop holding my hands so preciously.

What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?

One slip and falling back into the hedge maze

Oh, what a way to die

I keep recalling things we never did

Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trysts

Without ever touching his skin

How can I be guilty as sin?

“At least curse at me a little at the very end.”

His smile is still so soft even with blood everywhere.

I just fall to my knees,

eyes filled with traumas no one should have to see.

“If I had noticed…

If I saw how badly it destroyed you…

would it have changed anything?”

I’m speaking before I can think it through.

“Perhaps…” He coughs, breathing sharp,

“But then again… probably not.”

The tears are falling before I can stop them.

“I’m so sorry.”

I can't get my voice above a whisper.

“It’s not your fault, my one and only.”

My one and only…

He sent me "Downtown Lights"

I hadn't heard it in a while

“Satoru.”

The voice of a ghost speaks from behind me and I falter,

if only for a moment.

Suguru…?

I turn.

I’m trapped again,

but this time it’s real.

Is it really so bad to die if it’s at his hands?

Horror written all over my face-

that’s his body, but that isn’t him.

Am I allowed to cry?

My soul knows otherwise…

#~#satosugu #fanfiction #JJK SPOILERS #JUJUTSU KAISEN SPOILERS #am I allowed to cry?#geto #geto suguru #suguru geto #gojo #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #found art on pinterest! if you want credit or want it removed please alert me!!!#I made the banner at the bottom #im so sick guys i fuckin forgot some of the formatting and the 18+ warning 😵‍💫

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kcyars99 · 7 days

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Taylor and Travis with The Bleachers band members backstage at #Coachella2024 🥹

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maitaiwiththecorpses · 15 days

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SWIFTIES! Today’s ttpd easter egg is “Conduct” the word was hidden in the song peace in the playlist “Am I Allowed To Cry” which is the bargaining stage.

So far, the message reads “Hereby conduct”

#ttpd #ts ttpd #taylornation #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #taylor swift easter eggs #easter egg #swifties #am i allowed to cry?#peace #folklore #midnights #glitch

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meritsv · 22 days

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If it's all in my head tell me now, tell me I've got it wrong somehow,

I know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it.

#taylor swift #tolerate it #the tortured poets department #ttpd #am i allowed to cry?#old habits die screaming #i love you its ruining my life #taylornation #taylor swift lyrics #midnights #folklore #evermore #1989 taylor's version #ts11

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clairetaylorsversion-13 · 24 days

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she put cornelia street on the ‘am i allowed to cry?’ playlist.

#taylor swift #the tortured poets department #am i allowed to cry?#she’s insane #oh my god #the eras tour

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vampysmusings · 11 days

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what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? if long suffering propriety is what they want from me they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly. i choose you and me religiously.

#taylor swift #the tortured poets department #guilty as sin?#ohmygoddd!!!!!#this song is my fav #AM I ALLOWED TO CRY?

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strawberrylacies · 21 days

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"am i allowed to cry?"

stage 3 - bargaining

hi apple music! you have found the “am i allowed to cry?” playlist. this playlist takes you through the songs that i have written when i was in the bargaining stage, times when you know when youre trying to make deals with yourself or someone that you care about, youre trying to make things better, youre often times feeling really desperate because often times we have a sort of gut intuition that things arent gonna go the way we hope, which makes us more desperate, which makes us bargain more. hope you enjoy the playlist!

TRACKLIST

the great war

this is me trying

peace

the archer

cornelia street

death by a thousand cuts

soon youll get better (ft. the dixie chicks)

afterglow

i wish you would

say dont go

come back... be here

better man

the story of us

haunted (<3)

come in with the rain

the other side of the door

if this was a movie

renegade

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ckdp · 22 days

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am i allowed to cry?

#ckart #art #digital art #taylor swift #digital illustration #taylornation #digital fanart #the tortured poets department #am i allowed to cry?#procreate #swifties #swiftie

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coffeonthelawn-taylorsversion · 13 days

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i should have seen this one coming but the bargaining playlist starting with the great war hit me in the chest

#bc the lyrics tell a story of surviving the fight #but then…#(if one were to take these playlists into account when listening which you very much dont have to do)#taylors five stages of grief playlists #am i allowed to cry?

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crazymoonlight · 23 days

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I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

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kcyars99 · 6 days

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#taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ttpd #library #april 16 #taylorswift #swifties #taylor swift easter eggs #easter egg #taylornation #am i allowed to cry?#peace #ts ttpd #midnights #folklore #glitch

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brissyswiftie · 24 days

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Am I Allowed To Cry? Yes, yes I am!!

Forever in the bargaining stage…. I’m always trying….. This Is Me Trying… all the time 😭😭😭

#taylor swift #taylornation #swiftie #swifties #tsttpd #ttpd #5 stages of heartbreak #this is me trying #am I allowed to cry?#the tortured poets department

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cellopirate · 8 days

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now that I've had some time with it...

Fortnight ⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Tortured Poets Department ⭐⭐⭐⭐ My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys ⭐⭐ Down Bad ⭐⭐⭐⭐ So Long, London ⭐⭐⭐ But Daddy I Love Him ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Fresh Out The Slammer ⭐⭐ Florida!!! ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Guilty as Sin? ⭐⭐ Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) ⭐⭐⭐⭐ loml ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I Can Do It With a Broken Heart ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Alchemy ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Clara Bow ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

...and no, I haven't even started listening to the Anthology yet. It's so much at once.

#ttpd #the tortured poets department #ts ttpd #taylor swift ttpd #ts11 #is she okay?#mother #are you ok #am i allowed to cry?#you don't get to tell me about sad #you should see your faces

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thedoorsofmyheart · 8 days

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Am I bad,

or mad,

or wise?

#Guilty as Sin?#The Tortured Poets Department #Taylor Swift #Am I Allowed To Cry?#Taylor Nation #lyric quotes #good question #why does it feel like a vow we’ll both uphold somehow?#he sent me Downtown Lights #these fatal fantasies

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