#AUGH IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE
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trying (and failing) to add green into jay's design
#jrwi riptide#jay ferin#my art#sketch#at the end i think im gonna stick to blue only...#i just- augh. there's all red yellow green and blue in her design and i can't normally remove one of them im gonna cry#why you gotta be every color of the rainbow jay ferin im hitting you with rocks#her magic is green. her eyes and outfit are blue. her hair are red. her family pin and eye are yellow.#AHHGH#i cant guys i just cant--#i could fully get rid of blue but like. i already made gill entirely green. i can't do the same to jay...... or can i?#idk idk idk idk idk#help#jrwi chip#gillion tidestrider#forgot about them
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Some fanart of your tmnt 2003 fic 'Not Alone'. Words are not my strong point, so hopefully fanart is cool! I'm a huge fan of your writing; the tone, feeling, and characterizations have inspired me to create many times. So thanks, and Happy Birthday!
(I wasn't sure which blog to send it to or if I got the day right, either way, I hope you have a good one!)
Oh I am HOLLERIN AND STOMPING MY LITTLE FEET OMG!!!!! They're so precious!! Thank you SO much, I love your art and your comics so much, this is so special and it's 100% going into the digital photo frame rotation!!! 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
#art#fanart of my fanfic#I LOVE IT SO MUCH IM SCREAMINGGGGGGG#I'm trying to be normal abt this and I am FAILING!!!!#you so perfectly captured Leatherhead's doubt and sorrow in his posture#and Raph leaning in a little??!???!!#I cry#😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ AUGH#tmnt#turtleposting#dw abt the blog btw it's going on BOTH ANYWAY HAHA!!!
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this is an insanely specific compliment but your art makes me think of leigh saying that adam and lawrence both have something that other needs ☹️ adam needs larry's stability and larry needs adam's chaos ☹️
LIKE your date night comic.. your step dad adam content.. ough. literally everything you draw has That dynamic so well. and reminds me of how they complete each other. lawrence 'never in pictures' gordon & adam 'takes pictures of only lawrence' stanheight [dies]. thank u <3
(@58:30 in the audio commentary on youtube for a source on that leigh quote ^^)
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH IM GOING INSANE THIS IS SO!!!!!
#they’re meant for each other oh my fucking god#does leigh know he wrote the best tragic yaoi out there#im gonna go to the corner of my room and cry#THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR LIKING MY COMICS AUGH#chainshipping#asks#saw#also bless you for the time stamp KWJRKF
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“Don't you hate her?”
Furina turned, eyebrows raised in confusion. “Huh?”
“Your creator. Don't you hate her?”
The girl pondered a moment, looking unsure. “I..don't know.”
“You should,” he asserted. “All this time you had to suffer alone, for what?? People who didn't even care about the real you?? People who were ungrateful and selfish and only cared about themselves, at the end of the day??”
“Not everyone is like that,” Furina protested, shaking her head slowly. “I ..did suffer, but it all worked out in the end. Besides, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her-”
“The same could be said for my mother,” Wanderer interrupted, eyes flashing. “I came into being because of her, but that doesn't make her a good person, or a good parent. She hurt me. These two facts can coexist. Focalors created you, yes, but she also subjected you to 500 years of suffering where you couldn't confide in ANYONE or risk losing everything. Wasn't that awful?? Wasn't it a horrible time? You were all alone living on a hope and a prayer, and if it went wrong, it would have been all for nothing. You were a means to an end, and what do you have to show for it? Sure, everybody was saved and all was well, but now you're just - a person, and people hate you for what you did, people hate you for what you DIDN'T do. Was it worth it?? Are you satisfied?”
“I am,” she nodded, after a beat. “Because, this is what I was created to do. And, I'm free now. I don't know what I'm going to do, but at least my life is mine. I can do whatever I want. I can live.” Wanderer's jaw clenched, and Furina frowned, nervously. “..why are you so angry?”
“Because SOMEONE has to be!” he shouted, voice cracking. “I mean- I heard about the trial, they were gonna kill you- they lured you there because you wouldn't talk, right? And then after everything, did anyone apologize to you or- praise you, for all the hell you went through? Anything??”
“.. Neuvillette is taking care of me.”
The pain on Wanderer's face was almost palpable, at that.
“..anything else?”
“.. it's fine," she tried to appease. "It's not like I serve any purpose anymore. Like I said, I did what I was created to, so I'm not of any use and-”
“Stop.”
“..what?”
“STOP- talking like that,” Wanderer snapped, eyes suspiciously glossy. She sounded so much like him, who he used to be, and it hurt so badly.
A blank sheet of paper has infinite potential, but it is nothing as long as it is empty, he'd said, a good while ago. He'd been wrong about himself, and Furina was wrong now.
“You're not just - what you were made for. You don't - what happened to you is wrong. You're not DISPOSABLE now that everything is over.”
“It- it was for everyone's sake, compared to my suffering, it's obvious what's more important! I had to save them! It’s what I was born for! It doesn't matter -”
“It DOES,” he yelled, eyes glowing an almost neon icy blue, and she startled. “Stop acting like your suffering was something that was necessary. Stop acting like it was just for the greater good. That doesn't matter! The fact of the matter is that you suffered, and you were hurt, and you're STILL hurting! And- barely anybody is there for you..your creator, she should have been there for you, she should have protected you, but she didn't. She didn't. And you - you have every right to be angry with her, for not being there for you. For you being unable to live, until now. It was wrong, even if it was, as she claimed, for the greater good. Don't defend her.”
"She loved me-"
"And she left you, so not enough."
Just like my mother ..
“...Wanderer,” Furina ventured, worry all over her face.
“What?”
“You're crying…”
..oh. He hadn't even noticed, but his cheeks WERE wet, and he put a hand to one with a start, quickly scrubbing at his face. “Ah-” and he pulled his hat over his face, to hide it.
“..it was a lot. I often wondered when everything would end. I wanted, to tell someone so badly what was going on,” Furina admitted, and Wanderer looked up, eyes red from weeping. “There were a lot of times I didn't think I was going to make it, but. But I did, and, and everything was okay.”
“But are you?”
There was a long pause, and the two of them stared at each other until Furina slowly shook her head no, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.
“See? You're - we're both so messed up, from everything, and no one was there,” Wanderer almost whispered, looking out the window. "No one was there to help. ..You're strong as hell, I'll give you that. If I was in your shoes, I don't know if I would have made it. It seems people are stronger than I've given them credit for..”
It was something that surprised him, again and again.
“I just don't understand why you care..”
“.. I don't know why I do,” he shrugged. “Maybe because you remind me of myself, and. It hurts, looking at you and feeling like I'm looking in the mirror. But someone has to be in your corner and -”
“And you want to do that?”
A pause.
“..Well, if you don't stand up for you, no telling who will.”
“You don't have to cry over me. I'm -”
“If you say you're not worth it, I am going to bodyslam you,” Wanderer growled, eyes flashing, and Furina put up her hands.
“I wasn't going to! I was going to say that I will be okay. Not now, but. Eventually. I'm healing. I promise. There's people who care, like you.”
Wanderer fell silent then, looking away, and she reached out and squeezed his hand. “Thank you. I'm still wrestling with - with what I want to do and where I'll go but. It's nice to know that I'm valued just for existing.”
“That's all you need to be valued,” he muttered, looking to the floor. “You don't have to prove the worth of your existence. It's fine to just be.”
“..are you talking to yourself, or me?”
He looked to her then, expression unreadable, and she smiled sadly, in understanding. “Both is good. It's okay to just be. We're here, and we'll be okay.”
“Yeah,” Wanderer whispered, giving a shaky breath. “..we will."
#screaming crying#i will probably go back and clean this up later but i just wanted to get it out there and start yelling#i think wanderer would be so so angry about what happened to furina and it just. weighs heavy on his heart and he's like god. GOD!!!#his heart is way squishier than he would like to admit he's ready to square up so quickly and had it not been for focalors being dead#oh BABY he'd have Some Words For Her#genshin impact#wanderer#furina#4.2 spoilers#AUGH I ALMOST FORGOT TO TAG SPOILERS SORRY SORRY#please god i am going to explode i am thinking so hard im in pain#ue ue ue ue ue#loved but left behind.....#a means to an end..you feel me...#im dyin scoob
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so we're adding havers to the list of sad gays named anthony
#yknow. like anthony j crowley#oh my god i just finished ghosts series five#i'm going to miss these stupid fucking ghosts so fucking much#a perfect ending but really really i am sobbing and crying and AUGH#literally will never be the same again screaming crying i thought series 4 got me in a state.... insane insane insane INSANE i am SO normal#so fine with this!!!!! just fine just fine i am not crying in ANY WAY#I AM FINE. I AM NORMAL.#BUT JUST. GOD. IM GOING TO MISS THEM SO MUCH YOU GUYS OH GOD#bbc ghosts#bbc ghosts spoilers#bbc ghosts s5 spoilers#good omens#gnomeantics original 🌟
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going through all five stages of grief every time i find a fic that has something similar to one of mine except i haven’t written that part yet
#graveyardtxt#gone west you are killing me slowly#augh i don’t wanna seem like im copying but its a plot point ive had since the beginning#screaming and crying
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listen. i do not ever want anything bad to happen to lena kelley. however i do want her to, at some point, be in so much distress that someone has to comfort her. do you understand.
#and i want that someone to be alice. DO YOU UNDERSTAND.#if i speak...#ive been calling them alina#in my head#which i think is cute#what if our names combined into a real first name...and we were both girls....#anyways yeah.#save me alina hurt/comfort...alina hurt/comfort save me....#i want lena to collapse into alice's arms and cry about how she's been so tired. so scared. so alone. for all these years.#about how many people she's watched die right in front of her eyes. people she cared about.#about how she knows alice and sam and gwen and colin and celia aren't save either.#and that she's so scared she'll one day have to watch them die too#i want alice to try to crack jokes. to try to lighten the mood a little.#but eventually she gives up and just. holds lena close to her. as close as possible.#and she promises that she'll be here. always.#that others might leave but she'll stay.#a comforting constant.#AUGH IM SO UNWELL ABOUT THEM#tmagp#the magnus protocol#lena kelley
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A ANOUNCEMENT !!! EDITED : I’m not gonna deactivate it cause I just realised I’m too attached to this blog help-
hello !! I’m here to make a important announcement <3 so !! okay this might come as a shock, but I will be leaving @/ruanais ( a few days later cause I need time to clean things up ) !! T-T I’m really sorry but I simply don’t have the time or dedication to this blog anymore :( every single one I’ve ever met on this account was rlly nice esp my mutals and I’m so glad I got to meet every one of you <3
@silverbladexyz : gosh, we’ve been mutals for quite a while Huh ? I’m so grateful to you even tho we don’t rlly talk much anymore sihdjsjdjsjahhsjsj thank u for being with me after all this time !! :D
@justcallmesakira : we haven’t talked tooo much but I’m happy to have met you !! your works are amazing and I hope you’ll continue to grow <3 mwah !
@yuukimiyas : I’ve always looked up to you as one of my favourite writers so imagine my surprise when you followed me !! :0 your posts always make me rlly happy !! :D
@chuuyrr : I’ve always loved ur chuuya’s fics and they’re just so ??????? they’re my meal for three times a day Frfr !! :3
@sinmalssimp : raven, I’m really proud of you for being able to be so strong <3 you’re going amazing and I hope you’ll have a amazing life !!
@yuutx : thank u for being my mutal for so so long as well !!!!! you’re such a nice and kind person and you’re like a younger sister to me <3
@gojoath : cella !! omfg ur one of the people who managed to get me back into jujutsu kaisen T^T ur works r absolutely gorgeous and ur yuta series ?!?!???? chef’s kiss -///-
@vrachis : one of my og mutals ever since I started tumblr ! :3 also thank u for getting me into v tubers cause now im watching their streams whenever I can LMAO
@aureatchi : you and red are never ever going to beat the twin allegations tbh, even the abilities u suggested to me were the same so :3 and even ur names are similar :0 anyways ! rev, thank u for being my mutal !! you’re genuinely so so so nice and T^T ur like a younger sister to me as well <3
@cheriiyaya : red, you’re just like reverie so it’s like copy and paste except that youre more chaotic and I love your energy !!! i always laugh whenever I see ur url cause of that meme- fjdjjsjskjsj lol but you’re a younger sister too so !!! :D but yeah, I loved having convos with u !! you’re such a easy perosn to ramble to and thank you for listening to my thoughts that make no sense whatsoever !!
@rusmii : ruru !! firstly !! congratulations on 600+ honey !! you’re almost there to 1k aahhh !! we haven’t talked much but you’re such a nice person as well :(
@culturity : kady, ur such a sweetheart tbh and I always feel happy whenever I see ur posts on my dash <3 I hope that everything goes well for you in life cause you deserve it !!
@m0uchie : EMI !! you’re rlly nice and I light up whenever I see u in my inbox or notifs sjsjsbsksjjssjs I rlly wished we talked more tbh :( but we still had fun together <3
@riiwrites : riri you’re one of the people I’m closest to on tumblr and I’m so so happy I got to meet such a amazing and kind person as u !! thank u sm for everything honey !!
@beasalmeh : okay !! you’re a rlly chaotic and goofy person that I love to talk to !! seeing your messages always make my day and it’s so fun to have a conversation with you :D
@dazaisslave : ichika, you’re such a sweet friend to me and I dont and never did deserve someone like you :( thank u for everything <3
for the other mutals I didn’t add cause I’m a lazy fuck or we didn’t talk much or just became mutals so I don’t know anything abt u or we are mutals but we haven’t talked in a long time so it would be awkward + my dear followers : thank you as well ! all of you helped me in my growth as cringy as it sounds lmao sibdjshsjsjdj I could never ever have gotten to 100+ followers without u guys and I’m genuinely gonna miss u guys so fucking much :(
— ur dearest rua <3
also u guys, surprise announcement I’m not single anymore <: ur girl rua got a bf !!!!!! ahem !! but yeah !! hehe :3 I fulfilled one of my dreams !!!!!!! :D I CAN FINALLY TELL MY FRIENDS IM SOMEONE WHO GETS BITCHES 😍 /j
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#BUT OMFG#IM GONNA MISS U GIYS#I WAS SOBBINV A RIVER WRITING THIS :(#AUGH#LEMME CRY IN A CORNER#I WANTED TO RAMBLE SM ABT MY BF IN HERE BUT RUANAIS ERA HAS ENDED D:#BUT THABK YOU#:(#sobs#lets meet if I ever have another account when I get out of this hell called uni
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i still cant believe this is just. a panel that exists
#skk#im gonna fucking cry eni you were right#augh#you really had to hold him. tenderly on the cheek#and. look at him like that??????#both of you????#im so fucking done. im done with bsd. im fucking out
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boy the sudden outpour of angst ideas for larissa weems x reader in my brain got me weeping so bad i feel a fever coming on
#ALL YALL POSTING ABT FALLING OUT OF LOVE BUT MY BRAIN GOING 700 MILES FASTER AND 3000 YEARS FURTHER WITH A#the love was still there. it didnt change anything.#ABT READER LEARNING SHE'S DYIG SOON. BUT KNOWS LARISSA IS SWAMPED WITH NEVERMORE & DEALING WITH THE KIDS. AND SHE ALSO LOVES#HER NEVERMORE FAMILY SO MUCH. SHE CANNOT BEAR TO MAKE THEM SAD#AND BC LARISSA IS SO BUSY. SHE HASNT REALLY LOOKED @ HER WIFE. AND TO READER ITS JUST OKAY. AND CREATES A MINI VIDEO JOURNEY#AND LIKE. ITS JUST ALL THE LITTLE THINGS SHE LOVED TO DO WITH LARISSA. AND THE KIDS. AND OF LIFE U KNOW.#and its wonderful and sad and beautiful#but she's dying and she doesn't want anyone else to know; her family had gone the same way too and thats how she wants it to end#and its just. augh. not my brain adding more angst rn#where her one & only friend notices#and is the one bringing her to all her doctor's appointments (outside jericho ofc. she knows her wife would know the instant had she been#diagnosed there) and like. Larissa getting more and more suspicious of their outings and accuses r of infidelity#.......and at this point r is just. done. and lies.#and gets out of Larissa's life. and everyone's just. shocked & devastated#R leaves but also begs her friend to go away. because she's just counting her days at this point. and you know what#the kicker here is that they agree knowing this was the last act of kindness they could give her.#AND LARISSA STILL DOESNT KNOW.#and wouldnt have known until Wednesday had a vision of a phonecall that'll shatter her#........shit. im crying again haha#anyways i love cinematic orchestra's i built a home <3 it really gives me such the best angst storylines#personal.txt#clown.txt#mod lee speaks stuff#idea.txt#larissa weems#larissa x reader#larissa weems x reader#lee writes#lee writes stuff#my fic
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also was revisiting a little bmc bway interview ft. william last night & him saying his favorite part of the show was probably doing the agtikbi reprise scene on the couch at the party & mentioning the Nonverbal aspect of jeremy & christine's interacting / communicating there & a way of exploring/depicting Love & Affection in a way you don't always see everywhere and like aaaarghhhhh so true good lord that specific scene. and Again the bway obcr version Existing and being like that, it's just like. winded exhale yeah obsessed 5ever thank you all
#sooo true so true....#bmc#love putting it right in like the eye of the storm#both of them basically just having had these breakups & with jeremy that means mitb scene And [all of that A Time he had prior]#also now reflecting on how you know obviously he was Not ready to hear it w/michael & ofc he was affected by what all Just happened#but it's also like probably the worst time to be very pushy even with the best intentions & thinking it's Urgent & right abt all that lmao#but jeremy's Just had like whoops autonomy revoked ten ways to sunday from two different squip figures like#even [being correct! having jeremy's wellbeing in mind!] behind trying to yank him into some outcome; he's gonna be like Not Again#& ofc the sunk cost re: his squip & he has not had time to catch his breath like literally; not in a place to Confront Shit#if even his missed bestie is; from his perspective here; not at all comforting & not giving him what he feels is a real option....#& anyways ofc we can sympathize / understand them both b/c that's what the show is giving at all moments re all characters#all this to say like jeremy & christine like having such a time being very at sea very uncomfortable but then having This moment#and the refreshment & relief finally of having this successful genuine connection & relative security being with this person rn#love & affection for sure....just say what's on your mind....lord first of all that they improvise those Noises every night. i'm gonna cry#second of all imagining not knowing how that scene goes & the pause & jeremy like [augh] & then christine just Yes Anding. aaaugh#head in hands haven't even relistened for a moment despite all this reflection. the downtempo quiet reprise waaah#it's Pretty killer to sit & chat with you....it's pretty killer for me too....sooo true Not getting this everywhere always & Waaugh ;;m;;#and wasn't even thinking of it as a joke like [and talking about devote specific focus on the Nonverbal aspect of such a scene: im putting#my hands on the shoulders of that & keep drawing a deep breath to start talking abt it but instead going Whew & making Expressions]#i.e. the significance of my nonverbal response as per conveying emotions & thoughts lmao. and just....You Know
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i love harutaka they see each other as equals and are so best friends and i love them so much. i wish mca did them more justice bc ep 6 is very cute but it lacks a lot of the intimacy they originally had in the manga and novels
#kagevinnie#i know i always talk abt this but whatever.#the fact they changed it so takane admits to being ene and is quickly reassured by haruka?#when in reality takane was crying her eyes out for like. hours. until haruka is finally able to comfort her LMAO#bc takane was like HE DOESNT GET IT BC HES EXCITED.#and in the anime she's just like ummm im a gamer... i know...(blush) and haruka's like thats cool 👍#and then she's like ok :3#LIKE ITS CUTE BUT RATIO + 'ITS NOT LIKE IM GONNA HATE YOU JUST BECAUSE YOURE DIFFERENT'#HARUKA RUBBED MY BACK AS HE SPOKE#like😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💥💥💥💥💥💥i need to be SEDATED#also i feel like harukas a bit more of an airhead that way? idk it feels so flat to me. he's like ur cool takane!!!!#which is a lot like him yeah but originally he's really comforting her like i seriously dont know why youre upset but im here for you#augh. sedate me.
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TURTLE ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 😭😭😭
#THANK U FOR THE MESSAGES IM CRYING. GOD I needed that so bad. thank you for saying such kind things#that means everything to me#i will try to respond to messages this week I’ve just had to pick up some extra shifts so I’m a little low on spoons#but augh. that means so much to me when you guys send me F/O stuff 😭😭#just wanted to let you know I received it and love it thank you. wahhh. I’m gonna weep on the floor now
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hey everyone :') I'm having trouble with my paypal account right now and I was wondering if anyone else has had this problem: currently, I can't log into my account because it wants to send a security code to an out of date phone number. and. the whole reason I wanted to log in was....to update my number.......because I no longer have access to the old one......
the customer service line is automated and I can't get a real person, and the chat function requires you to login (which I can't do!!!!), and I'm just. uhhhh. trying to find out if there's a solution to this before I like…..send a DM to their support twitter......because you can't send support emails anymore........
#im like. very upset abt all of this lmao#it truly seems like the only thing to do is to DM their support twitter#and ngl this is like. augh. i high key want to cry. there's no reason for it to be like this?? if you're going to keep increasing your fees#can't you just. use your profits to hire people to answer customer support........
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i thought you, THE paul connoisseur, would appreciate a sneak-peek of a drawing of mine featuring the lil guy himself… #originaldrawingdonotsteal
submitted by @amandabe11man
#submission#AUGH PLEASE HTIS IS SO CUTE IM SO HONORED THANK YOU FOR SENDIGN THIS#LITTLE GUY!!!!! SMALL EVEN IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT#BIG BIG EYES#THE paul connoisseur........sobs. legacy#shaking and crying
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