Tumgik
#AND I WILL DO EVEN MORE SO BC NO ONE ELSE IS THINKING ABOUT THEM
sunkissed-zegras · 2 days
Text
★ YOU AND ME, WE'D BE A BIG CONVERSATION─── PB⁵ (part 1/3)
Tumblr media
❪ requested -> "paige x famous!reader (singer, actress, up to u) inspired by endgame by ts where p reveals that r is her celeb crush in an interview and a few days later theres a vid of r responding to it saying shes been obsessed w paige lately / its such a big deal bc r has been involved in a lot of romantic drama lately so everyone is kinda iffy abt her rn, causing her to put up a tough guard. but p sees thru the facade when they start talking and allows her to be herself, making r fall even harder 🥹 " ❫ for my disco nonnie!
─ warnings | gossip, a lot of drama and random ass names (sorry i get confused when i don't name them), mention of panic attacks, hurt to comfort, pretty sure nothing else?
⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist!
Tumblr media
"Y/N L/N, ONE OF the biggest names right now in the music industry has found herself at the center of yet another romantic scandal involving her ex and now, reportedly a new lover."
The 22-year-old pop sensation, who recently topped the charts with her latest single, was spotted last night leaving an upscale Los Angeles restaurant with actress and heartthrob, Camilla Harrison. The two were seen getting into the same car, sparking rumors of a budding romance.
This sighting comes just weeks after Y/N's highly publicized breakup with fellow musician Lauren Marie, with whom she had a tumultuous on-again, off-again relationship for over two years. The split was reportedly mutual, with both parties citing busy schedules and the pressures of their careers as contributing factors. However, sources close to the couple suggest that Marie was unhappy about Y/N's close friendship with Harrison, which began on the set of her recent music video where Marie made a cameo appearance.
"Y/N and Cam have undeniable chemistry," says an insider. "They've been spending a lot of time together, and it's more than just a professional connection. They're trying to keep things low-key, but it's clear there's something more than friendship between them."
Despite the drama, Y/N continues to thrive professionally. Her upcoming album set to release in the next couple month, is already generating significant buzz. Critics are calling it her most mature work yet, with deeply personal lyrics that reflect her recent experiences.
Meanwhile, Harrison, 26, known for her roles in blockbuster films and her good looks, has remained tight-lipped about the rumors. Her publicist declined to comment, stating that Marie is concentrating on her upcoming film projects.
──
"Okay, next question," the reporter smiled as she scrolled through her phone as Paige gave a tight-lipped smile toward the camera. "Oh! Found a good one, okay. Who is your celebrity crush right now."
"That's easy!" Paige laughed as she glanced toward the reporter. "Y/N L/N, she's beautiful and insanely talented,"
The room filled with laughter as the reporter raised an eyebrow, clearly delighted by the response. "Y/N L/N, huh? That's a popular choice these days, a lot of people are big fans. Have you met her?"
Paige shook her head, her cheeks slightly flushing. "Nah, I wish. But I'm a huge fan of her music. Every song is a masterpiece and I'm not usually into pop,"
"Interesting," the reporter leaned forward, intrigued. "You know, there are rumors about Y/N's love life all the time. How do you feel about all the speculation surrounding her personal life?"
Paige shrugged, maintaining her relaxed demeanor despite the stupid question. "I think it's tough being in the spotlight like that. People forget that celebrities are human too. Everyone deserves a bit of privacy, I'm more interested in her work and what she brings to the music industry rather than whoever she's dating."
The reporter nodded, appreciating Paige's perspective. "Absolutely. It's refreshing to hear someone focus on the artistry rather than the gossip!"
──
"Okay, quick. Who's your celeb crush right now, other than Cam," Bowen Yang, grinned at you, raising an eyebrow as the audience laughed, eagerly awaiting your response.
You laugh (and decide to ignore the comment about Cam), feeling a slight blush creep up your cheeks. "Oh, come on, Bowen, you can't put me on the spot like that!"
Bowen leaned in, his grin widening. "Come on, Y/N, the people want to know!" He pointed to the crowd as they cheered, causing you to put your face in yours hands.
You then take a deep breath, pretending to think hard. "Fine, if I have to choose... I'd say Paige Bueckers. She's incredible on the court, and I've seen some interviews with her ─ she seems like such a cool person."
The audience erupts with loud cheers, causing both you and Bowen to laugh. Bowen's eyes widen, clearly delighted by your answer as he clapped. "Ooh, scandalous! Paige Bueckers, I love that! Have you met her?"
You shake your head, smiling. "No, not yet. But I did see a clip of her saying some really nice things about me recently. It was super sweet."
Bowen's face lights up with excitement. "She was practically gushing over you, this is perfect, we need to make this happen. Maybe you could collab, I don't know how but uh, if anyone could make it happen, it's you."
"Thank you, I think?" You laugh, nodding. "Totally, we'll see what happens."
Bowen turns to the camera, his enthusiasm infectious. "You heard it here first, folks! Y/N and Paige Bueckers, the crossover we never knew we needed but now desperately want!"
The audience erupts in applause and cheers, and you can't help but smile at the idea. Bowen turns back to you, his tone shifting slightly more serious. "Alright, before we wrap up, I have to ask ─ how do you deal with all the attention and rumors about your personal life? It seems like you're constantly in the spotlight."
You take a moment to gather your thoughts, caught off guard by the serious question. "It's um, definitely challenging at times, but I try to focus on the positive aspects. I love making music and my fans. As for the rumors, I just remind myself that I can't control what people say or think. I stay true to myself and the people who really know me, and that's what matters most."
Bowen nods appreciatively. "Wise words, Y/N. And that's why we love you so. Thank you so much for being here tonight."
"Thank you for having me," you reply, genuinely touched by the support.
"And that's Y/N L/N!"
The crowd erupts in cheers as you genuinely smile, happy for the support, waving toward the audience.
──
"Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast I'm Lila, and today we've got a lot to talk about. Y/N L/N is at the center of yet another romantic scandal, and there's even a new twist involving basketball star Paige Bueckers. Let's dive in!" Lila said, her enthusiasm palpable.
"Yaya, so excited," Maya chimed in, adjusting her headphones. "So, Y/N was spotted last night leaving an upscale LA restaurant with actress Cam Harrison. They got into the same car, which has everyone buzzing about a possible new romance."
"Yeah, and this is just weeks after her very public breakup with Lauren, I think that's her name? It's been a whirlwind, to say the least. But honestly, I think Y/N is handling it all pretty well. She's focused on her music, and she's just living her life. What's your take, My?" Lila asked, leaning in slightly.
Maya sighed, her skepticism evident. "I don't know, Lila. I get that she's young and living her life or whatever, but it feels like there's always some new drama with her. First Lauren, now Cam Harrison? It's starting to look like a pattern."
"But that's thing, with being in your early twenties. Figuring out what you want, who you want to be with? I mean, she's also incredibly talented and driven. Her new album is generating a ton of buzz and it hasn't even been released yet," Lila countered, her voice full of admiration.
"Sure, but it seems like she's always entangled in some romantic drama. Maybe it's just the nature of fame or whatever, but it can also come off as messy. And now, with Paige Bueckers gushing about her in that interview, it adds another layer. I just hope she’s not stringing people along," Maya replied, her tone annoyed.
Lila nodded, annoyed at Maya's words but maintaining her supportive stance. "I get where you're coming from, but did you see Paige's reaction? She was genuinely excited about Y/N. It was sweet. Plus, Y/N responded so positively on the SNL interview. I think it shows she's got a good heart and she's just navigating her way through a complicated life!"
Maya hesitated for a moment as she glanced at the camera, then continued. "I mean, look at Taylor Swift. She's known for her string of high-profile relationships and breakups, and it hasn't always been received positively. It feels like Y/N is heading down a similar path- What?"
"Come on, Maya!" Lila glared at her, clearly displeased. "Comparing Y/N to Taylor Swift isn't fair. Taylor's faced a lot of unfair criticism for just living her life and expressing herself through her music. Y/N is her own person, with her own journey. She's navigating her twenties in the spotlight, and that's not easy."
Maya just shrugged as she glanced toward the camera, before adjusting her mic. "Well that got awkward, moving on..."
──── COMMENTS
sela 🐾 | is she wrong though... love her music but why'd paige gotta get involved too? ♡ 108
↳ l/nslover | cause they like each other???
↳ 🦕 | has bro ever heard of a pr relationship 😭
↳ ari! | THEYRE NOT EVEN TOGETHER YET BROOO😭😭😭
sarah™️ | LILA GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE BROOOO 😭😭 i never liked maya tbh this is just a weird ass take ♡ 1.7k
kayla 🎀 | listen as a y/n girly i also understand maya's point of view cause.... shes kinda for the streets ♡ 879
↳ ™️ | dont call yourself a """"" y/n girly """""" if ur gonna say she's for the streets??? the fuck??
⭐️ | i was understanding maya's pov up until she started saying all that taylor swift bullshit, they're two separate artists LET US LIVEEEEEEE ♡ 2k
josie may | hardest watch of the day 🥲 maya u let us down with that dumb ass take
──
"I just kinda... wanna disappear for awhile," you confessed, your voice quiet as you pressed the phone to your ear. "Don't know why this keeps happening, you're the only that can... help me through it. Sorry if I woke you up-"
It happened again ─ over the last couple of months (ever since you'd broken up with Lauren) you'd gotten pretty severe panic attacks. You were told by everyone on your team to just stay off social media and what had you done... exactly the opposite of that.
"No, no, I was awake anyway, promise," Paige's voice echoed through the phone. You heard shuffling through the phone as you sniffled, sighing. "And I don't mind, like at all. I meant what I said, I'm always here for you,"
Your heart swelled as you managed a smile, as tears began to build in your eyes. You and Paige had only been talking a month and she already understood you more than anyone had in what felt like forever. Her steady presence was like an anchor in the storm of your life.
The constant media scrutiny and the aftermath of your breakup with Lauren had left you feeling alone, but Paige’s calming influence was slowly becoming your safe haven.
"I just... I don't know how to deal with all of it. The rumors, the pressure, it's all so overwhelming," you admitted, wiping away the tears that had started to fall. "Half of it, it isn't even true."
"Hey, it's okay, I know, I believe you," Paige's voice was soothing, almost like a warm embrace over the phone. Even the smallest affirmation from Paige made you feel all okay again, even if it was just for the moment.
"You're not alone in this. We can figure it out together, step by step."
That part made your lips twitch up in a smile, feeling yourself relax again. You took a deep breath, feeling a bit of the tension ease from your shoulders. "I just feel like I can't breathe sometimes. Like the walls are closing in, y'know?"
"I get it," Paige replied softly. She'd know about it all too well, she'd been through it herself plenty of times. "Sometimes it helps to focus on the small things. One step at a time, remember? Have you tried any of those breathing exercises I taught you?"
You nodded, even though she couldn't see you. "Yeah, a little. They help, but it’s hard to remember in the moment."
"Next time you feel a panic attack coming on, call me. Anytime, okay? We'll get through it together," Paige's voice was firm, reassuring. "You don't deserve the shit they give you, like at all."
"Thank you," you whispered, feeling a surge of gratitude. "I don't know what I'd do without you, P."
"You don't have to thank me. I care about you, and I wanna help. Plus, I like hearing your voice," Paige added with a light chuckle, trying to lift your spirits.
You couldn't help but smile at that. "Me too, especially your cute tired voice."
"Cute, really?" Paige laughed through the phone and you swore you felt like your whole world felt even again. "But uh, if you do really wanna disappear you can always come to Connecticut."
The thought of escaping the relentless spotlight, even for a little while, sounded like a dream. "Really?"
"Yeah, you can stay with me for a bit, if that's uh... what you want." Paige explained through the phone. "My friends are super chill and it's always a fun time, if you ever wanna come. Think about it?"
The idea of spending time with the basketball player you'd quickly become enthralled with, seemed almost like a dream. And getting away from LA and all the madness that came with it sounded heavenly, you were going to give Connecticut a thought.
You sighed, feeling a warmth spread through you that had been absent for far too long. "Yeah, I will. And Paige?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. Really."
"Anytime, Y/N. Sweet dreams."
Tumblr media
↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
418 notes · View notes
creation-help · 2 days
Text
Okay, jesus. I gotta say this
Hey. Other queer people reading this. Non transfems especially.
You do realize transfems are people too, right? Right?
Transfems also feel nervous presenting as their real gender in public, they also have gender envy and see a pretty stranger on the bus and wish they'd look like them. They also feel so so incredible when they finally get that one nice thing that makes them feel more Gender, and when that one stranger (cashier, batista, whatever) genders them correctly. They also pose in front of the mirror daydreaming about how they'd dress, and also have breakdowns over their clothing bc they feel like they don't fit in them the right way. They also feel horrible having family dinners with conservative relatives who talk about anything non cis looking with disgust.
They also feel unsafe going out as a queer person.
Even in queer spaces.
Do you think about this? Do you think about their internal life and feelings as people? Do you forgive them if they're being a little awkward or a little horny in embarrassing and quote on quote cringe ways? Do you feel "Off vibes" from a person in public who you perceive as a man, dressing in ways that you don't think is normal for men? Do you feel discomfort at someone with facial hair and makeup? Do you stare and quietly avoid talking to them? Do you notice when transfems are absent in queer spaces? Do you notice "women and nonbinaries" situations never including trans women, somehow? Do you mention it? Point it out?
Do you feel "more comfortable" around femboys than transfeminine people? Why is that? Why do you allow transmasc twinks to be gnc but not any transfem people? Why do you think it's any more okay to "Feel uncomfortable" around a visibly trans person if you perceive them as being amab? You realise what that sounds like, right?
Like it feels absolutely mad that I feel the need to make this post but I see so many fellow queer people spout absolutely horrendous bullshit about transfems and I won't fucking stand it. Like hey, sorry this is worded condescendingly but maybe you could think for a second that this is about them, not about you? Wakey?
Fucking think and reflect, please. I'm not even a transfem, there's millions of trans women and others saying all this shit all over tumblr. And people don't take them seriously enough. Please help advocate for them too. Pay attention. At least do some internal work with yourself if nothing else. Okay?
86 notes · View notes
nateofgreat · 1 day
Note
so this show is exactly as expected.
the acolyte continues to push the very tired and wrong as hell narrative of “The Jedi Order is The Man and oppresses their own members”…….like can we PLEASE do and say anything else, Disney. can we PLEASE stop acting like this was the point the whole time. can we PLEASE stop boosting the Sith, literal evil space fascists, as better. like the Sith are the aggressors! the jedi don’t battle with them for no reason/just bc they view the Force another way and How Dare You Not Do Religion Like Me. the Sith are evil! they don’t care about people! they torment! becoming a Sith is not liberating and if it is…….it’s for the Wrong Reasons. it’s miserable and hateful. they have no want of peace. 100% of the time, it is not a good thing to be a Sith.
which leads to: why is it that anakin and the Sith get to be tragic misunderstood babies (while committing genocide and all kinds of other atrocities) while the jedi are Abusers? and get blamed for things that aren’t their fault/out of their control? why is their specific lifestyle looked at as Horrifically Bad but being selfish and burning the entire galaxy down and causing suffering for said entire galaxy for one single person Good Actually. trying to better yourself as a person and practicing mindfulness? having emotional control? which is crucial bc of the life you live as a space warrior monk with a laser sword? Big No No. it makes absolutely zero sense.
in the end, it IS quite simply a story of Good vs Evil. that’s it. no matter what the actors and showrunners say. the Sith aren’t and can’t be the “Morally Gray” or “Good” here. i do not care abt whatever sympathetic backstory you give them.
Yep, the show is what I expected. You summed it up well, lol.
In general, I don't have a problem with sympathetic villains like Anakin because (largely unlike Mae) his actions were actually condemned. They were shown to selfish, cruel, and self-destructive and so when he finally chooses to do a good thing instead it's a satisfying conclusion to his story.
However, nowadays we've swapped to justifying the villain even when they're doing really evil things. The Sith are the pinnacle of evil in Star Wars. The so-called "freedom" they seek is the freedom to do what they want, possess what/who they want, and kill anyone that stands in their way. It's a freedom they extend only to themselves as they'll happily oppress the masses in the name of their satisfaction.
Yet fans will look and see their humanity while turning around and portraying the Jedi are these one-note abusers who don't deserve the same sympathy. Even though their teachings are shown to be correct over and over again and even on a person-to-person basis they're always very kind to others.
There's little else you could do to make it obvious that the Jedi are the heroes. The only misstep that I think George Lucas made was in not fully explaining the Jedi's teachings in the Prequels, there was already plenty of scenes of exposition there after all and I think that'd have been more interesting than some of the Senate scenes.
27 notes · View notes
x-liv25-jamieswife · 2 days
Text
my ranking of the tig villains/most hated characters
i'm bored so i'm doing this. 1 is the character i hate most meaning 8 is the one i hate the least. i apologize if this sucks. its quite late for me as i'm writing this.
drake. ik most people would put eve or smth at the top of this list, but this dude is an abuser and a pedophile (he used to call avery jailbait which means "a person who is younger than the legal age of consent for sexual activity and usually appears older, with the implication that a person above the age of consent might find them sexually attractive" according to wikipedia). not only was he horrible to libby, but he also tried to kill avery. characters like him just give me the ick and the creeps and i just can't stand them.
eve. i think this is self-explanatory. eve is one of the most annoying and petty characters i've ever read about. she tried to kill avery, kidnapped tobias (and ruined his chances of forming a better relationship with avery, and, as the biggest toby and avery father daugther stan, i cannot stand this), manipulated grayson, and hurt many people. if you don't hate her, i don't trust you. also, i hope she doesn't get a redemption arc bc she doesn't deserve it.
sheffield. i have one thing to thank this dude for and that's the love confession from jameson after he put avery in a coma. other than that, he bombed avery, kidnapped avery, cheated on his wife, was a horrible 'father' to grayson (and his daugthers bc of colin). he's honestly tied with eve (he's not first cause i can't stand guys like drake). i dont really think i have to explain myself
emily. i really don't think i have to explain. she's manipulative, petty, self-absorbed. the only thing she has going for her is that she didn't try to kill anyone. she treated the boys like crap, emotionally abused her sister, and (although she wasn't present to do it i still blame her for it) affected avery's self-esteem.
ricky. i know he's high on this list but he's just so creepy to me. anyone who hurts avery in any way si automatically a no for me. he was never there for avery and libby, refused to take custody of her after her mom died, didn't show up to hannah's funeral, tried to step up to get money after avery inherited, got together with skye (ew???). ik this doesn't seem horrible in comparison to what the others did, but seeing avery's feelings towards him in the books (especially thl) made me despise him so that's why he's so high up.
tobias. he emotionally abused his grandsons, put avery in a position that he knew might get her killed, treated his own kids horribly, hurt a lot of people in order to become who he became. the only reason he isn't higher up is bc he did sometimes do nice things (although not often).
vincent. him and tobias are sort of interchangeable??? but he partnered with eve to get toby kidnapped (sort of putting a stop to toby and avery's relationship which like said earlier pisses me off). from what i remember, he didn't really do anything else and i sort of understand where he was coming from (getting revenge on tobias) but what he did is still horrible and taking his anger towards tobias out on a teenage girl is just weird to me.
skye. i find her character sort of interesting but she is a horrible mother towards her sons. she's also a huge pick me bc who sleeps with their sister's boyfriend. she also tried to get avery killed which is just a no no. this is sort of off topic and i've made a post about this before but she didn't get punished enough for what she did to avery and that is grayson's fault. i talk about it in slightly more detail in this post.
although i knew that avery was hurt by a lot of people in this series, this really showed me exactly how bad it was. there are even more people. literally every person on this list hurt her (directly or indirectly (in emily and vincent's case)). these people either tried to get her killed, messed with her head or both. avery is a girl boss. she deserves better.
30 notes · View notes
duckiemimi · 1 day
Note
i wonder if gege's biggest problem (likely bc of the push to prolong jjk) is that they just threw out the original storyline the second the gojo vs sukuna fights started. i mean, there were definitely problems with the ever expanding cast and spreading them all too thin still, but (as someone who's only loosely been following the leaks since a little after gojo's death) the entire story feels so meaningless now 😭 the build up for everything gojo wanted holds no meaning and i get that gege hates gojo for overshadowing the other characters but like⎯excuse my lack of knowledge about manga culture⎯gojo's been the main character ever since megumi was taken over. yuji's been sidelined for so long and even yuta⎯who's ridiculously powerful and the only special grade in his generation, i believe⎯not making a difference just leaves the story falling flat.
(also: i've never understood the whole push for gojo to be front and center just bc he's the most popular. the mc is *rarely* the most popular character in a manga⎯bakugou (and even sometimes todoroki) overshadowed deku so much in bnha but the story still managed to center deku as the main character. i think people give gege a little too much credit for this⎯it just feels like bad writing or an attempt at fanservice when they write gojo like *this* when they're clearly sick of him.)
(also x2: literally none of the characters have a purpose anymore and sukuna's just screwing around so there's no one with a strong enough narrative left.)
(also x3: shoko deserved better. but that's a whole other rant.)
i think that's possible actually, considering how well-anticipated (and prematurely hyped up) the gojo vs. sukuna battle was! and it was a long and drawn out battle, too, so i have a feeling that was done out of request from publishing (or a third party) rather than something gege actually wanted to linger on!
the culling games to me read like an exploration in worldbuilding. remember when kenjaku started talking to and dealing with world leaders and when the US army (failed to) intervene at one point? it seemed like gege was playing with the boundaries of the jjk universe and while it was messy and convoluted at times, it was still pretty enjoyable for me! it felt like a writer who still wanted to write. it's a shame that gege took on more than he could chew, because there were so many aspects that could've been built upon, even if it would've been inconsequential to the ending message of jjk.
this arc...felt like something owed. to who, i could only guess, but it doesn't read like something he was excited to write. ever since gojo got unsealed (another well-anticipated scene), things have become rather stale. and that's probably why we have an influx of polarizing scenes—to get us to keep reading. gojo being brought up constantly (even after his death) also seems like a request or a push from publishing (or a third party). like you said, it feels like fanservice. (which is so demeaning to a creator, especially if it's put above all else.) i think he's too tired (and now he's sick) to actually attempt to properly tie everything he wrote together, let alone do anything about characterization! which is just such a shame :')
27 notes · View notes
ssruis · 19 hours
Text
Hello welcome to yet another post that was 1) originally meant to be a short thing but it rapidly got out of hand 2) caters to me specifically 3) is all over the place because I kept finding more things I wanted to talk about
The way rui approaches emotions is so fascinating to me bc like. He approaches everything with a very rational/logical thought process instead of an emotional one and he tends to either ignore his emotions or view them as an obstacle/hinderance.
Tumblr media
(From his gleaming stars card story)
If he acknowledges that he’s upset or unhappy he tends to just go “oh well. What can you do.” & then berates himself for not wanting to be unhappy. I feel like a lot of that can be explained by his childhood alienation from his peers.
In RMD his reaction to his classmates refusing to take part in his play once he explained the tree jump stunt & them calling him weird is to blame himself:
Little Nene: Rui, what’s the matter? Did something sad happen?
Little Rui: Nene… No. That’s not it. I pushed my show onto everyone and bothered them.
(From RMD - TL by Arven Oven)
Which is pretty telling. To Rui, the issue is that he asked for too much, that he as a person is something that must be tolerated by his peers.
But ultimately he still has faith that he’ll find his people.
Little Rui: …That’s right. People like you, Nene, who would say that they like my shows, surely exist out there. I want to make my own shows. But as of now - I think it might be a little hard.
(RMD)
And he *did* keep trying to find people who would accept him for a while - Wonder Halloween shows that he continued to try to reach out even after the stuff that happened in RMD, but eventually anyone he got a little close to would end up leaving & reinforcing his idea that he was too different from others to form relationships.
Tumblr media
(From Wonder Halloween)
I’ve seen some people say him giving up on forming relationships was due to the events shown in RMD, but I think it was more of a result of him experiencing the same rejection over and over again. The definition of insanity is trying over and over again when the result never changes, and despite what his peers may think, Rui is not insane. I think he gradually lost faith in his parents assurance that he would find people who accepted him - he begins pushing Nene, the only person who hasn’t left him yet, away.
Middle School Rui: I’m working on a solo project… but I haven’t found anyone else like you that’s willing to help.
Middle School Nene: oh, I see…
Middle School Nene: then would you like to join the troupe I’m in…?
Middle School Nene: I mean, uh…
Middle School Rui: hehe. It’s nice of you to invite me, but there’s no need to pity me. I’m doing ok on my own, and it’s for the best anyway.
(From Wonder Halloween)
Why he pushed Nene away is sort of left up to interpretation - To protect her from himself? To leave her before she left like everyone else? - but I think the assumption that her invitation is out of pity show that at least part of his decision to push her away was out of the belief that she, like everyone else, was simply tolerating him. If he assumes everyone hates him/is scared of him right off the bat, he can avoid getting his hopes up and being crushed when he’s inevitably abandoned. It’s not unhealthy or detrimental to forming relationships he’s just recognizing a pattern and using it to predict the behavior of others (blatantly wrong).
Zombie Plushies: We can tell you’re just pretending to be friends! Deep down, you’re probably scared and disgusted by us too!
(…)
Zombie Plushies: We’ll never fit in with them anyway…
Rui: …! (Never fit in with them, huh…)
(…)
Rui: When I look at them… I remember how things used to be.
(WXS world link, TL by Haruka’s penguin)
He rationalized his loneliness with “I’m just incompatible with other people” which
1) ow.
2) if he’s incompatible with other people, there’s no reason to get his hopes up because he’ll never find people he fits in with
3) if nothing is ever going to get better, he should be content with being alone. There’s no reason to be sad over a fact of life. It is what it is.
4) being sad over this is inconvenient, unhelpful, and a distraction from following his dreams (on his own)
5) inflicting himself onto others is a selfish desire and he should just keep to himself. “It’s for the best, anyway.”
6) he’s perfectly fine on his own. He doesn’t need anyone for his shows, and he doesn’t need friends.
By the time the WXS main story takes place, he’s already fully convinced himself that he’s better off alone, and that Actually It’s Super Beneficial For Him & His Shows And He’s Fine Like This.
Middle School Rui: Solitude isn’t as bad as people make it out to be.
Middle School Mizuki: huh?
Middle School Rui: In fact, it has had certain benefits for me. It’s given me plenty of time to see plays and to think over ideas for shows, for example.
(Kamikou festival)
Rui: hehe. Unfortunately, we won’t be doing a show together.
Rui: you see, I like to work alone and with absolute freedom to stage any show I want.
Rui: as long as my shows fill my audience’s hearts with joy, I’m perfectly satisfied.
(WXS main story) (“I’m perfectly satisfied” me when I lie)
I feel like it’s overlooked that the only reason rui joined wxs was to get nene in the group. I’m probably going to talk about his continued pushing of Tsukasa’s limits/suggesting insane stunts and over emphasizing how dangerous they are at a later date - and how that was (imo) an attempt to find the point where Tsukasa would hate and leave him too -
(surely this is too good to be true, Tsukasa/wxs will be like all the others -> wait he’s not calling me a freak and leaving ok I guess I’ll go full throttle on the insane shit surely at some point he’ll get tired of me -> he got injured because of me and he’s still here?? what the fuck???? Well now I care about him & this group so I need to pull back I’m not going to get a second chance)
Tumblr media
(Wonder Halloween)
- but I would like to briefly mention that Rui literally suggests risking Tsukasa’s life right off the bat & when Tsukasa is like “?? I don’t want to die???” Rui just goes “alright I’m out of the group I guess bye. have fun nene!”
Rui: Don't worry, the device can be securely attached to the stage in a way that will keep the audience perfectly safe. Please make sure you don't touch it or you'll die.
Tsukasa: what about keeping ME safe?!
(…)
Tsukasa: I’m not going to risk my life on-stage!
Rui: but you said you’d perform any role I gave you to, quote, 12000%, unquote!
Rui: I'm afraid that I have no choice but to step down as a stage director. Nene, good luck working with these people.
(Wxs main story)
Unfortunately humans are a social species & emotions don’t follow (faulty) logic so rui *was* unhappy on his own and he *did* want to have friends. Which I’m sure he continued to call himself selfish/greedy for feeling. Rationalizing all of this was a way he could accept/make peace with being miserable (because it must be this way, because this is how it will always be).
Rui: I was the same a long time ago… I gave up on fitting in with anyone.
(…)
Rui: If they don’t understand me, that just can’t be helped, if they disagree with the way I think, that just can’t be helped… I would think like that.
Rin: Rui-kun…
Rui: - in reality, I really did want to put on a show with someone else. But people didn’t understand the shows I was making. On a subconscious level, I convinced myself it wasn’t going to work out and gave up on the idea.
(WXS world link)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(Wxs Journey to bloom animation)
This added scene from the main story animation adds to this - why he leaves WXS did have to do with Tsukasa yelling at Nene, but the reason he doesn’t come back after Nene forgives Tsukasa is because Tsukasa’s self centered attitude is something that antithetical to a belief that Rui thought he’d given up on a long time ago: great shows *can’t* be made alone, no matter how many times you insist that you don’t need anyone else. As much as he denied it, Rui *did* still want to connect with people and be accepted - not just for the purpose of making shows, but to have a place where he belonged. For the first time in years Rui got his hopes up, started believing in what his parents told him, and Tsukasa proved to him that he never should have done so in the first place. Unlike the other times, though, Rui is the one to walk away first. & then tsukasa/wxs do the whole “true feelings” show etc etc we know how the main story ends.
That being said, I think that Rui still subconsciously believed WXS would grow to hate him and leave because he would finally be Too Much. Wonder Halloween showed him that this wasn’t true (Which is why it’s so important that the zombie plushies in the world link performed potato ghost to connect to the other plushies - it’s the show that was performed when Rui fully realized that wxs was not going to abandon him.) but I feel like that only cemented the fact that wxs would keep performing alongside him, not that they were his friends.
Rui also very clearly did not process or evaluate how his childhood impacted him.
Nene: When you talked about the old days, you seemed happy.
Rui: fufu. I don’t mind it anymore because it was so long ago.
(His RMD card story - TL by Rubilia Heartfilia) (me when I lie part two)
After so long by himself, with shows as the only thing he had, I think that having a connection to people *outside* of shows was completely unfathomable to Rui.
Which is why he’s kind of incapable of realizing why the idea of leaving wxs hurts him so much,
Tumblr media
(Curtain call)
why he doesn’t realize why he starts holding back in wonder Halloween or why he holds back on the cheer squad,
Tumblr media
(Cheer squad event)
And why he’s surprised that wxs cares for him not just as a director, but as a friend.
Tumblr media
(Festival bathed in twilight)
I make fun of him for taking a year to finally be like “yeah tsukasa-kun and I are friends” but I think it’s pretty reasonable taking his trust/abandonment issues into account. Accepting Tsukasa’s offer to join wxs (twice) changed his life drastically - he realizes that he can connect to others outside of shows, that it’s possible for him to form relationships with people outside of wxs. Rui just needed to make the choice to accept the outreached hands - not changing the parts of himself that people previously deemed too weird or strange (not that he was ever going to do that anyways) but changing his attitude of “it’s just impossible for me to be accepted.”
Rui: I had always thought that I could never properly understand everyone around me.
Rui: as I started doing shows at Wonder Stage with everyone, my way of thinking and feelings began to change.
Rui: now, I am able to understand and connect with someone without relying on shows, and I’ve come to value the beauty of laughing alongside others
Rui: that’s why — tsukasa-kun. Thank you for giving me the chance to change.
(…)
Tsukasa: but… it’s not only just thanks to me, y’know?
Rui: eh?
Tsukasa: think about it. No matter how many chances I gave you, if you had refused to change, you would never have done so, right?
(Pandemonium, TL by Tsukasa’s #3 fan)
This is also why he tends to berate himself for having the very normal desire to hold on to wxs. He’s never had something like this before, where he has people who accept and love him as he is. He’s never wanted to keep something as badly as this. He’s asking too much of them, he’s imposing like he did with his classmates in RMD, he should let them leave. It’s the mature thing to do. He spent so long on his own, he should be fine going back to that, isn’t it selfish and greedy to want more?
Tumblr media
(Curtain call)
(Talking abt wanting to keep doing shows w wxs and his actions in OHE) Rui: Now that I think about it, I’ve been pretty selfish.
(World link)
Rui: (…When the time comes, even I, too, will have to move forward.)
Rui: (…Moving forward, can I do that?)
Rui: (…Geez, I really lack a backbone. When will the time come when I find myself satisfied with the way things are?)
(…)
Rui: (While working to make my dream come true, together with everyone, I will make their dreams come true. A way to do that - let me think of one.)
Rui: (fufu, how greedy of me.)
(Curtain call - TL by Arven Oven & Tsukasa’s #3 Fan) (fuck you ensekai)
I think that, in future events, he’ll (hopefully) come to realize there are more people who will accept him (& get more trust ranks. Please.). I think it’s an impossible ask for him to be completely fine with wxs going their separate ways some day (and the same goes for everyone else in wxs), but I think when the time comes it will at least be bittersweet and with the knowledge that he can find other places to belong & that his relationships with the rest of wxs is strong enough to withstand not being in the same troupe. Things can’t stay the same forever, but change doesn’t have to be bad. Etc etc.
32 notes · View notes
forgottenarias · 22 hours
Text
just some nonsense about aria i rambled about to get it out of my brain, i guess?
idk what this is but once again i went off on a tangent abt aria thanks to some influence from arthur ;) [honestly why can't i deep dive on all my characters like this rn]
Thinking about Aria pre conquering and her previous attachments-- I'd contemplated if she had some sort of tragic backstory, like there was a knight she'd sort of formed a bit of an attachment to leading up the invasion and he was killed in battle or smth along those lines, but I think her whole sense of being was SO wrapped up in being-- i'm not going to say Eilia's right hand necessarily bc i don't think she was doing tons of like... talking about policy or military issues or anything, but an important part of her life as the queen of Astaira. it sort of lead me to realize I don't think she's really had much in terms of romantic notions/courting/etc in her past? Part of that I think was just who she was-- pretty quiet and reserved and probably hiding somewhere w/ Aoife at social gatherings whenever possible! I remember Kate and I joked asp about the two of them having sort of useless husbands who just did their own thing while the women ran the country-- I don't think having a USELESS husband was her plan but she def sort of imagined a union/partnership (weirdly I don't think romance was playing into this vision of the future for her, despite the fact I think she's very much a closeted romantic!) husband who was intelligent, scholarly, and had his part in the running of Astaira-- so while she never imagined her sister would try to set up a political marriage for her, she def always assumed if/when that happened it would be something that made sense for Astaira. It was all very practical and sort of in line with that idea that Staffords are servants of Astaira. So she'd probably end up with the one who wasn't the worse and, if not at some point feeling SOME sort of romantic affection for him, at least they could be friends of sorts and share common interests have have children who, of course, would then be tasked with helping the crown and continuing the cycle on and on.
which i'm now realizing, sort of like his fear that no one will care for/love/be loyal/etc to him for just forHIM, Aria just never allowed herself to think that would be possible but, again, in a practical way?! like obviously everything goes back to what is best for astaira & helping her sister & carrying on the work of the stafford family, etc. (also i don't know if eilia realized that was sort of her worldview? i think its not anything she'd openly discuss with her sister honestly...)
BUT NOW there's this GUY who is almost in every way the antithesis of who she imagined herself ever being drawn towards-- like, if this were a bad early 2000's teen movie, she'd be the head of the debate team and he'd be the captain of (insert sport here) and WHY would they EVER even talk to each other?! haha! but then obvi she's seeing this different side of him that she expected to be there-- plus clearly SHE'S having some sort of affect on him and his thought process thanks to all their walks and talk/arguments ;) I think that's not something she's ever HAD before outside of her friendships (and while there is some sort of version of friendship there clearly its something else, what with the whole conquering/captor/flirt thing that's happening) and she just... likes how this is progressing? i think at first it was a "oh great-- more fuel for my fire of trying to worm my way into the good graces of the new regime and sow discontent from within!" but now she's making this real human connection and its scary and its annoying and its making her have all of these thoughts and see things as not black & white and she HATES that but also she is invested entirely now? and she may not have even realized it atp?!
all that being said there are still these little doubts that flair up-- which i think is sometimes part of the reason she reacts so angrily/aggressively at times (bc as we've discussed emotions are hard! don't think abou them in a healthy way!) I DO think every time she allows herself to think about "what is this connection, where is it going, what does it mean?" part of her is like "you're over complicating this-- there's probably some version of you in every castle/town/whatever this guy stops at w/ his deranged dad and you are NOT special and this is NOT different!" and i think some of that may be reinforced post Amira's Terrifying Tea Party when she figures out smth was happening w/ Eithne and she's like "oh okay, so that's his country lady he probably walks around w/ having some version of the same conversation!" (honestly the pair of them both having versions of 'oh, i thought this was something, guess its not..' is...so perfect) and she's like 'im obviously the lady entertainment when he's stuck in the castle!'
But then there are those moments where is DOES seem different and its enough to keep her coming back and trying to figure it out! i think hes right sometimes abt how she feels-- there were def moments where she's like "i want to hurt him, he deserves this, he could have stood up to his father and stopped this if he cared!" but i do think those have subded bc she realizes, again, this is not black and white and he actually has things he has to consider that SHE would consider, too! --namely his family!
plus, adding to that, there's everything I said about her realizing the manipulation is working-- i think she's confused if its working bc of ACTUAL feelings/emotions or if its working because he's kinda dumb and is just easily lead-- deep down she KNOWS its option one, hence why she feels the guilt about potentially doing something that would hurt him! and then adding in a rather, i think, fundamental shift in their views towards themselves/each other with his SHOCKINGLY DEEP AND INTROSPECTIVE confession about his views on his possible fate! i think beyond the whole "holy crap!" of the moment, it resonated w/ her in an unexpected way bc she's grappling with who she going to be in the world now that her whole purpose (helping Eilia as she rules Astaira!) has been taken away and while I think she's desperately trying to fill that void w/ her mission to save the guardians (also can we talk about the amount of pressure she is putting on HERSELF with this? oof), in the event there isn't a catastrophic event caused by the fall of the guardians, she doesn't know what her future is? is she stuck in this castle the rest of her life? does roderick finally off her when he's fed up with astaira being a problem? its not necessarily the same as arthur w/ his sole purpose in life to be emperor for his fate/his family's fate, but i think she sees some sort of connection there as well.
but now here we are and i realized that she's processing these emotions (poorly) on top of the 'you're a bastard, surprise!' announcement + amira's tea party so she's probably just... mad at arthur for reasons that aren't his fault + maybe has been ignoring him for awhile now? bc emotions & she doesn't want to hurt him & his father hurt her & did i mention... the emotions?
also if anyone made it this far WHY and I"M SORRY.
20 notes · View notes
the-l00ker · 2 days
Text
(to clarify I mean this from a writing perspective. Like I don't think the writers necessarily, originally intended for Stolas to be racist and when you break it down I think they were going for him being more classist but at face value he seems racist.
Put together, and at face value he's racist. Breaking it down and from a narrative point, it seems he was supposed to be classist. WHICH IS STILL A BAD not defending the man in that front
Genuinely don't think they intend for Stolas to be a completely racist person/didn't intend for old (season 1) Stolas to be racist, but when you look at it all put together he's definitely got SOME racist energy.
But they definitely doubled down in season 2 on "old Stolas was racist bc of the people he grew up with"
But I'm just breaking down why I DON'T THINK THEY ORIGINALLY WANTED IT TO BE THAT WAY and it wasn't really an error, it was more of a one-track mind approach)
Someone on twitter said that Stolas is racist
ALSO DON'T GO TRACKING THEM DOWN TF?!+
...
BUT HE'S NOT-
(from a writing perspective/break down perspective)
He has been conditioned into being classist. Stella's the racist one-
✨🧵AhEm🧵✨
When lil Stolas was meeting Blitzo for the first time, and he bows to him, paimon says something along the lines of "don't bow, he bows to us idiot" before smacking him over the head
Paimon implies ( and outright says) that he should bow to him because he's not worth it, because they're better then them. Richer. Power. Just "better"
However Stolas, continues to treat them like equals even when they're playing. He doesn't look down on Blitzo for being an Imp. But Stolas doesn't acknowledge that they have different lives because Stolas is rich.
He just assumes Blitzo could read, has a education and wants to learn but changes his tune when Blitzo awkwardly stares at him and suggest something else.
In the future right after the whole "omg you slept with someone" happens to Stella.
Stella says "You slept with an Imp in our fucking bed!" now today isn't a discussion of how much of a narcissistic bitch Stella is so we'll leave it out there to chill
BUT Stella says you slept with an Imp. Not a person. But an Imp. STELLA IS THE RACIST ONE BECAUSE SHE ONLY SEES HIM AS AN IMP AND NOT AN ACTUALLY PERSON
(and if you don't see it, imagine saying "I can't believe you slept with a person of colour!" that's basically what Stella said)
Stolas doesn't even acknowledge it, saying he didn't have enough time to get a Motel. Stolas doesn't say anything about Blitzo being "just an Imp" he just talks like he's sleeping with anyone.
You could literally change Blitzo name for anyone else and I'd still work.
But here's the thing, Blitzo is one that see Stolas as a bit of a racist because he thinks Stolas was the one who bought him for a day or so.
Like he thinks Stolas bought him. But it wasn't Stolas. It was Paimon, he bought him so that he won't have to deal with Stolas being upset. Stolas didn't even have a choice in the matter so it wasn't his fault.
But here's how he's UNINTENTIONALLY classist.
AhEm
Literally the entire relationship and dynamics-
Stolas technically bought the IMP services TWICE, once in the trailer/pilot and another in the Loo-Loo Land episode.
Stolas rented Blitzo team out for the day, because Stolas was paying him to do so. He practically bought Blitzo's time.
He looked down on Millie and Moxxie because he really only intented to buy out Blitzo time and not there's. He didn't need protection as we can see at the episodes end, he just bought Blitzo's time for entertainment. FOR ENTERTAINMENT
Stolas initially thought that he was entitled to Blitzo's time because he bought out THE WHOLE BUSINESS SERVICE FOR ONE DAY.
And at the beginning of the Stolas literally says "We're rich and we're hot, people want our money and our bodies" HE'S IMPLIES THAT HE'S SUPERIOR TO EVERYONE ELSE NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE IMPS OR HELL-BORN DEMONS
IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE RICH! AND HE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT!
And then he tells Blitzo that he'll pay him for his time- HE'S LITERALLY THROWING MONEY AT HIS PROBLEMS HOPING IT'LL BE OKAY BECAUSE THAT WHAT HIS DAD DID!
And in the Harvest Moon episode Blitzo defends Stolas because Stolas is literally the secondary breadwinner with in his business. If Stolas dies then Octiva gets the book and then Blitzo doesn't have it, so they can't make money anymore.
Stolas again is in someway shovelling money to stay in someone's life, taking advantage of the fact that Blitzo NEEDS HIM.
But in the episode Truth Speaker, that's when Stolas changes his mindset (all be it, off screen) he realizes when Blitzo is endangered but he can't just throw money at problems and actually has to do something to keep him safe.
This is the first time that he is not thrown money at a problem and it worked.
Moving on in the story Stolas has some on screen and off screen character development, in which the power dynamics and throwing money as every single problem isn't right anymore and it was never right.
Because before then he'd been practically throwing money in the face a not-so-successful-at-the-time Blitzo just for his company.
That was some level of autonomy in that relationship but it was mostly him just throwing money and buying him out and buying his time.
It Highlights the absolute wealth difference between the two characters.
Before the episode Truth Seeker, Stolas was indeed a classist character it may have not been as obvious as some other characters but he was a bit classist at the least.
Before the episode Truth Seekers, Stolas saw Blitzo as somewhat below him, because he could just afford to buy him out. But after realising that he was indeed a person and could be hurt, I believe after that episode is when he actually begun to care.
Ozzie's was the eventual big push for him to get better. It was obvious that Stolas WAS embarrassed to be with Blitzo. And not because he was an Imp like Ozzie implied because Stolas could have just clapped back with "AND TF ABT U BITCH?? HUH?"
No, it's because Ozzie made the Association that since he was with an Imp, then that equals poor, which equals embarrassment, which equates to him asking why did you throw away your marriage for someone who is poor?
Because I don't think Ozzie would have been racist, on stage, infront of other Imps and his Imp boyfriend.
After this episode we can see that he has a change of heart and a change in which he views things. After this episode he realizes that Blitzo's feelings could no longer be bought because he'd made him genuinely upset and there was no amount of money you could throw on that 🔥dumpster fire 🔥to make it okay
By that point the business was already successful so it was no longer a matter of money.
After this Stolas has some off screen development it seems. Better himself as a person and truly beginning to see equals but as a consequence he had to acknowledge over pain and the sheer power he had in the relationship.
That's when in the episode Oops, Stolas decides to get Big Boss Ozzie-mozzie Crystal to try and end this constant power dynamic and classism that was in their relationship.
I'm in the episode we can Stolas helping out his "equal" when it came down to Fizz. He didn't just turn around and go "well he's an Imp, icky not helping him. I'll come back later"
He sat there through the entire thing helping Ozzie out, not out of obligation. He literally could have left but didn't because he didn't see Fizz as Ozzie's problem, he now saw Fizz as a genuine person.
And the set up to this was great because Ozzie would have had to sign away alot of money to get Fizz out of trouble, and its a nod back at when old him would have probably just threw money at this problem but instead of that he advises his "equal" to NOT throw money at the problem and instead read the entire contract to make sure that everything goes well.
LIKE OLD STOLAS WOULD NOT HAVE CARED ENOUGH TO READ THAT ENTIRE THING, AS MUCH AS HE LOVES WORDS
this act alone not only let Fizz and Blitzo work shit out but also showed the viewer that he had changed for the better, and he was going through character development to not be a dick
And now we're at Full Moon and at this rate Stolas has already had all the necessary character development off-screen to no longer be as classist as he was before, and it's a bit disappointed that this was in highlighted a bit before but you gotta read through the line sometimes
Stolas now sees them as equals. But he hadn't shown Blitzo that. Blitzo is still scared of Stolas and his influence and status and money, last Blitzo check he'd had to spend time looking for Stolas daughter so that he won't be as mad and he won't banned him from the book.
An honestly if he had it his way Blitzo probably never would have went to the human realm to help look for his daughter.
But at that rate it was out of sheer obligation-
And as much as the episode tries to play it off as a gag, Blitzo still has to drop everything to help him out, YES because he does care but also out of fear of losing his only source of income.
So for Stolas to rock up in Full Moon and be like, "I see you as an equal and I love you" WOULD HAVE FUCKED BLITZO SHIT UP
Because all Stolas and his family did was, BUY HIM, BUY HIS TIME AND MAKE HIM FEAR FOR LOSING HIS ONLY SOURCE OF INCOME ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS-
He'd only been inadvertently put down by Stolas not because that was Stolas intention but because that's what is actions gave off in terms of vibes.
And that's why in the Helluva universe Stolas is unintentionally a classist character, to which he didn't know about it UNTIL IT WAS TOO FUCKING LATE-
No I will not be taking question. Yes this took me 30 minutes to write because of my inability to spell. Shush!
22 notes · View notes
scoundrels-in-love · 1 year
Text
I know the group has expressed worry about Laudna because her life depends on potentially divine magic, but what about Ashton, whose brain and life is literally glued together with magic goop? Is no one going to worry about them and what could happen when it just ceases to function as magic,when it's arguably magic that has undone fact they've died/timeweaved around their pending death besides literally physically replacing part of their brain and head? BECAUSE I WILL.
69 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
190 notes · View notes
waterfallofspace · 21 days
Text
Anyone else not able to say 'bless you', either because it feels too personal, embarrassing, slightly erotic or a mixture of all of the above-
Buuuuuut also whenever an event interrupts the conversation, you feel so much more awkward not saying anything/commenting on it at all, and so you wish you could just... say that phrase, or have some other thing that makes sense to say to just- shrug it off???
49 notes · View notes
sits up in bed. so lana and ema definitely thought they were responsible for edgeworth "choosing death", right?
(the rest of this post was supposed to go in the tags, because it's not very well organised or written, but it got too long so. here are the slightly edited tags for your reading pleasure (or otherwise)):
i was going to make this solely about ema because she's the obvious one with her open adoration of edgeworth, but the thing about rfta is that it goes to great lengths to emphasise the connection between lana and edgeworth as well.
the sl-9 incident showed that lana grows attached to people deeply, hence angel starr's comment on how, when neil marshall died, 'she (lana) felt like her own brother had died.' with edgeworth, i think it was similar but worse. because he's not just a coworker or subordinate who's dear to her. he saved her life. and it cost him his own.
at the beginning of the case, edgeworth says he was mistaken for thinking that lana was always looking out for him post sl-9 (a statement interesting on its own because that's when everyone else says she grew distant), and, later on, he brings ema fingerprinting powder because lana asked him to. then, of course, there's the 'lady luck' comment he makes.
similarly, on lana's side, you obviously have the end of the trial when she says he did well, but there's also that additional moment post-trial where she's the only one to notice — in a group comprising her, ema, phoenix and gumshoe — that he's 'hiding', listening to their conversation. point is, there's enough to suggest that she might have been the nearest thing edgeworth had to a mia; his 'chief prosecutor' to phoenix's plain 'chief'. they're as close as two people can be in a relationship where one of them is constantly lying and the other is von karma's star pupil.
rfta is pretty straightforwardly depicted as the case which solidified edgeworth's resolve to do what he did; i don't think i have to prove that. rumours about him have reached new heights, his car and knife were involved in goodman's murder, he makes an unprecedented mistake in court by failing to connect the evidence room and carpark incidents, thus forcing the chief of police to enter the trial to do so himself, and he's publicly revealed to have relied on falsified evidence to secure a conviction in the sl-9 case, all of which only happened because of lana. jake marshall even claims that from the beginning — that if you trace edgeworth's rumours back to their source, you end up meeting one person: lana skye.
and it gets worse because at the end of rfta, she thinks he's fine!! she literally says, 'i was afraid the pressure would break you, but you rose above it,' and reminds him he's nothing like gant because he's not alone. she leaves the case thinking he will be okay. and then, what, like a week passes, and she finds out that he wasn't, and that he's gone, and it's her fault. even after she was freed from gant's control, even after she had finally stopped lying, she couldn't prevent herself from claiming another life. so much for 'lady luck', i suppose.
and the game reiterates this multiple times. gumshoe states at the start that edgeworth's ties to those higher up in the department have made him the subject of constant rumours, and phoenix says (in front of ema) that he shouldn't be held responsible for the forged evidence because that was all lana's doing, which then leads to edgeworth commenting (again in front of ema) that he feels as though 'something inside him has died.' it all goes back to lana. we can argue and say that it was technically gant's doing that caused all of this, but lana still took actions that led to it. even her complicated friendship with edgeworth isn't spared; it's that closeness between them that exacerbated those rumours. how could she not feel responsible in some way?
and with ema, it's rather obvious, isn't it? if she hadn't gone poking her nose into things, none of this would have happened or come to light. and, of course, she'd never choose anyone over her sister, not for anything in the world — it's simply not a question, but that's the problem, isn't it? it's not a question. it's not some hypothetical moral dilemma. it just is. she may not have killed neil marshall, but she still has one king of prosecutor's blood on her hands. and now she has to live with that. she just. has. to live with it. no matter if he chose otherwise.
moving on from that a little, i think it's actually wild how much of ema's journey to becoming a forensics investigator is paved with bad memories. neil marshall's death and her subsequent inability to testify are what drives her to begin pursuing it, her first proper investigation results in her idol's "death" and when she finally graduates, the person who saved her sister has been disbarred, and she can't even help because she isn't allowed to. all that pain and constant pursuit of her goals, and she's still the same ema skye, still that girl shrouded in darkness, always one step behind the truth, one step a little too late. no wonder she was angry in aa:aj. i would be furious.
#and then like a year later they find out edgeworth's fine and if that happened to me i think i would kill him fr#WKSHDKAHDKS#lana skye#ema skye#miles edgeworth#the skye sisters' relationship with one dramatic depressed prosecutor is something that can be so personal...#ive literally never thought this much about lana or ema ever. they never occupy my thoughts but somehow.#everyone else: man edgeworth's vanishing must have had a real impact on franziska and phoenix. me: what about these 2 side characters who#technically only appeared once in the whole trilogy. in a dlc. what about them.#it's actually so interesting how much lana is set up to be important to edgeworth. phoenix even says she reminds him of mia and when i#first read that i was like ??? bc of the scarf? there's more to mia than a scard phoenix. but then you pay attention to how she interacts#with edgeworth and it's like oh. i see it now. and then she disappears forever.#mind you i dont think she or ema were like. destroyed by the news of edgeworth's supposed passing. not in the way phoenix was anyway.#for better or worse both lana and ema are shown to have a tight hold over themselves emotionally speaking. lana keeps a lid on them for#years and ema is told she might have killed neil by accident and is functional after a brief faint and recess. like those women are strong.#but i do think it would have had a deep impact regardless of how well they were able to cope. like i've said i dont see how it wouldnt.#anyway this concludes my rfta moment. time to go back to being unable to say a thing about susato-san even though she occupies my every#waking moment. if you read all this ily <3#it's also past midnight so if this is all a bit everywhere im sorry
111 notes · View notes
goldkirk · 5 months
Text
I'm so proud of myself about finances in the past couple months. I still struggle with money but I did enough meditation and journaling and practicing about it to make myself able to actually face my loans and credit cards and savings and bills and start really truly organizing and addressing them for the first time in years instead of just flying by the seat of my pants.
Like. This is a huge deal for me. I've felt like I'm in deadly danger every time I've tried to think about money for years and years. I'm finally able to look it in the face and stare it down and start to organize and plan on purpose instead of just keeping up with the minimum to stay afloat. I'm so proud of myself.
It's still a refrain of "GUILT (funny link)" every time I think about money but I'm able to actually make spreadsheets and face the numbers and monthly tracking again, and even make a new full budget which I haven't been able to do in ages.
still feel guilt, overwhelm, and helplessness, but no longer feel as much deep elemental shame and terror. that's progress baby
#we don't need to talk about how many months and months of therapy visits and doctor appointments I put on credit cards#among other things#but I had to put my foot down about it a couple months ago and shout at myself a little saying HEY#I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM SHOUTING FOR YOU TO HEAR#OF COURSE IT WAS A TERRIBLE FINANCIAL DECISION BUT YOU WEREN'T EVEN EXPECTING TO BE ALIVE#THE CREDIT CARD DEBT WAS NECESSARY TO KEEP YOU ALIVE AND IT DID AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS WAY LESS IMPORTANT THAN THAT#why the FUCK are you feeling SO ASHAMED for making the best decision you knew how to make at the time???#just because you know NOW that you could have tried some other options doesn't mean you did THEN#you may have known enough to feel shame and guilt yes but you would never in a million years have gotten the help you needed fast enough#by attempting to go another route#you didn't trust anyone besides a very few handfuls of people and even them it wasn't fully#and the stress of running it through parental insurance was so terrifying to you bc you didn't know what that would do#and you never had cosigners for anything your whole adult life. it's OKAY#you fucking DID YOUR BEST#YOU HAVE LEARNED. YOU HAVE MADE CHANGES. YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE BETTER#YOU WILL CONTINUE TO LEARN AND IMPROVE OVER TIME#it is not the end of the world. even the utilities sending you to debt collections etc etc#YOU ARE FIGURING IT OUT ONE PIECE AT A TIME#MORE PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED AND AFRAID OF THEIR OWN FINANCES THAN YOU THINK#if the people who fought and argued with and shamed you for considering student loans much less taking them out#had wanted you to actually be financially safer and healthier#they could have just fucking helped out or cosigned your loans or actively helped you find other solutions#instead of spending months and months telling you it was the worst decision ever and would ruin you financially for decades and such#you made the best decisions you could with the level of terror and knowledge that you had. it was enough to keep you alive.#isn't that enough?#isn't it a victory to survive?? isn't that enough??????#god i'm cringing at sharing this but if it's been this hard for me surely at LEAST one of you has also made financial mistakes or regrets#and seeing me be honest that I fucked it all up too and it's a mess and I'm just climbing back through it as best as I can as I go#will hopefully make at least one of you feel a tiny bit less alone
37 notes · View notes
starflungwaddledee · 5 months
Note
which ocs in the fandom do you find the most interesting? also, which ocs do you think have the most aesthetically pleasing designs? finally, which ocs have you only heard of but would like to know more about?
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooo ha haaa noooo i can't possibly answer this because it would be soooo unfair to have favourites wouldn't it's comet knight by @kittenvirus
#sorry it's the colour scheme and the glitter and the fluff. i'm unfortunately so so weak to all these things 😭#even a little bit of pastel rainbow star theming specifically... comet really has everything i'm sorry to say#i think starstruck would faint immediately if she saw him. could they be friends?? i'm not sure i think she'd just be like this: 👁️👁️#he is also one of (if not the very) first designs i saw when i started picking around the kirby community#so i'll always have a soft spot for him no matter who else i discover.#there are also a dozen other OCs that i love and adore but the more that i list the more folks will feel that i didn't list *them*#and i really really don't want to do that! my mutuals have some absolutely banging designs as do some folks who i don't follow!#there are also a lot of REALLY cool designs that are 'semi' oc but are more like redesigns? from folks AUs or comics or so on#many great morpho-esque redesigns out there too i'm always a fan of those!!!#please understand i'm listing only ONE design that hits all these prompts (bc i also don't know the creator well hence 'only heard of')#and one that always stands out to me personally because of the sentimentality i mentioned above#but i love MANY many many. if i started listing them i would never stop!! if you have an oc or a design i probably love them!!#i realise that is a bit of a dodge of the breadth of this question but i just... yknow? haha#i'd be happy to learn more about any ocs really!! i would actually love for starstruck to start having some relationships with others too?#if folks are interested in that!! she has relationships with the dream land four but not so much with ocs; and that might be fun too!!#others ocs#asks
30 notes · View notes
relicsongmel · 4 months
Text
The Hawthorne twins suffered more than Jesus
27 notes · View notes
marcsnuffy · 13 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"my responsibility" / "my duty"
18 notes · View notes