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fiapartridge · 2 months

Note

🌊 Luke Hughes is a need. congrats on 600!!!

now that we don't talk | luke hughes

"you part the crowd like the red sea, don't even get me started" - taylor swift, now that we don't talk

luke hughes x fem!reader

summary: growing up, luke was your best friend, but now all he felt like was a stranger.

warning(s): drinking, unrequited love

fia's notes 💌: aaa thank u! i closed my celly last week but i wanna finish all of the requests that i didn't get to before it ended! italics are the past, normal is the present !

You met Luke when you were ten. He had moved in next door and you were elated. You had never seen any kid your age on the street where you lived, so seeing the Hughes family unloading the white moving truck with big brown boxes, you quickly offered to help.

You met Jack first. He said you were tinier than a peanut and proceeded to pat your head and tussle your hair when Quinn walked over, scolding the younger boy for bothering you in the first place. Quinn felt mature to you, already someone you felt like you could trust with anything. You never had an older brother, or siblings in general, so the two boys felt somewhat like a safe haven.

But the moment you saw Luke, you swore the wind started blowing harder, his walk was in a time-bending slow-motion, and the blue birds started to sing in their place in the trees. He was perfect and you, as much as you believed that boys were icky and gross (and definitely containing cooties), you were in love. Earth-shattering, mind-numbing, heart-stopping love.

“Lukey, get over here!” Jack yelled, waving the curly-headed boy over to the moving truck where the three of you stood.

Growing flushed, you watched as Luke ducked under Jack’s arm, avoiding his daily ‘noogie’--- especially now that there was a girl in the vicinity. Scratching the back of his neck, he let out an awkward laugh. “I’m Luke.”

You wanted to ask for his favorite color, music artist, movie, tv show—you wanted to learn everything about him. But for now, you smiled softly, allowing the pink bubbles in your stomach to float up and into your cheeks as you nodded, saying, “I’m Y/N.”

The inside of the house was loud, lights flashing across every wall and red Solo cups trashed the floor. You had hesitated saying yes to your friends’ invite to this party, wanting so badly to just put on a face mask and watch YouTube videos in the safety of your apartment, but after realizing you hadn’t spent a night out in weeks, you agreed. So now, here you were, holding hands with your best friend in a skirt so short you had to pull down the hem every couple of inches as you marched through the party, avoiding crashing into drunken bodies and touchy frat guys.

“Let’s get you drunk, okay?” your friend shouted as she guided you towards the kitchen of the house.

“Y/N?” you heard your name shouted from across the kitchen island as you looked up, meeting Ethan Edwards brown and piercing eyes. He looked confused, rightfully so. You hadn’t seen him in months without a single reason as to why you vanished. You just…disappeared, like you were a figment of their imaginations. But there you were, alive in the flesh.

You tried to look away, act like you didn’t hear him, but when he called you again, more eyes settling on your small frame, you knew there was no other choice but to throw on a shy smile and say, “Hey, Eth.”

Rounding the island, he pulled you into a tight hug. The moment he touched you, it was like your knees wanted to buckle in and melt into his body. You missed him—especially his hugs. Pulling away, his hands stayed on your shoulders, scared that you would run away if he didn’t. “Where have you been? I feel like I haven’t seen you in years.”

You rolled your eyes. “It’s been a couple months.”

“Still miss you. Luke does too, you know?”

“Eth,” you shook your head, clawing at his grip on your shoulders as his hands tightened. You didn’t want to talk about this. Not here and especially not now.

“He never told me what happened, but whatever he did, he was stupid, okay? And—”

“It’s okay,” you smiled weakly. “I’m over it. I’ve just been…busy,” you shrugged as if anything that came out of your mouth was remotely the truth.

He chose not to push you, knowing that if he did, you would probably be halfway across the house and towards the exit. As much as you were best friends with Luke, you were also best friends with Ethan, Mark, and Dylan. Losing Luke was losing everyone. And as much as it hurt seeing Ethan, it was nothing compared to seeing Luke.

“Luke!” someone shouted from the next room over. Ethan could feel you tense under his hands as you instinctively looked over your shoulder, immediately seeing him. It was like your eyes gravitated towards him no matter where he was. If Luke was in a Where’s Waldo book, you’d finish all the pages in less than 10 seconds.

He parted the crowd easily as partygoers stepped back upon his large steps and tall stature. He was known at the University of Michigan along with the rest of his family. Girls wanted to be with him, guys wanted to be his friend, professors passed him in every class just so he could play hockey. You could feel his presence in every room; it was loud and shook the walls like some sort of earthquake. You felt it in your heart and your stomach, in your legs and your chest. Luke just had that effect on people.

And when he entered the room, merely feet from you, it was like you were nothing, unrecognizable, because just as your eyes followed him everywhere, to him, you were nowhere to be found. Well, to be found, he would have to look first. But the thing was, Luke stopped looking. All you were to him was a stranger.

You were teenagers when your feelings for him began to grow more real than you had imagined them to be. You were sitting on a lounge chair in Luke’s backyard, swaddled in a blue beach towel as Luke’s curly wet hair dripped onto your exposed legs. You loved night swims and Luke loved seeing you happy. He didn’t love the cool night air and the frigid pool temperature against his pale skin, but any time spent with you was time well spent.

Your legs were in criss-cross-apple-sauce as Luke mirrored you on the other side of the chair.

“You know Brad Richards is taking Trisha Thompson to prom?” you asked. You didn’t even know they knew each other. You swore she was still dating Noah Turner, her boyfriend, well, now ex boyfriend, of three years. It made you wonder how people were just okay with going with someone they barely even knew. You went with Luke every year for every dance: homecoming, the winter ball, the spring fling, prom—everything.

And everytime he asked you, it felt like you two were real. Like he was your boyfriend and you were his girlfriend and everything was right in the world. And for a quick moment, you let yourself believe it. On nights like these, he was yours.

“Didn’t they start talking, like last week?” he responded, playing with the string of your bathing suit bottom.

“Yeah. Insane, right?”

“Super insane.”

You chewed your bottom lip, clawing at the fabric of the towel as you stared at your hands. “Are you going to prom?” He hadn’t asked yet and you were scared that he was going to take someone else; that your tradition of going together was over; that he grew up and got over you.

But he smiled, yelled for Jack and Quinn, and your face lit up. The two came outside with a big white cake with strawberries and blueberries and raspberries sprinkled over the top. There were light pink candles spread over the crown of the cake, and Ellen ran to Luke with a big white poster. Unrolling the paper, he held up a sign, saying, “They should call you sugar, you’re so sweet. But can I call you my date to prom?”

He dropped the poster as you threw your arms around him, whispering an excited ‘yes’ into his ears.

“You’ll go with me?” he asked, smiling. He knew you would say yes. You did every time, but he liked making you feel special. You deserved that and more.

“There’s no one else I’d rather go with.”

He walked past you and you swore you would have broken down right there. You felt suffocated, like the walls were closing in on you. You looked around, trying to find your friends but they were nowhere to be found. You were surrounded by Luke, Luke, Luke. Every turn you made, you swore you could see him ignoring you, acting like you were nothing.

But he saw you. You were the first person in that whole entire party that he saw. To be honest, he wasn’t going to even show up. He was ready to do a couple laps on the treadmill, take a shower, eat some dinner, and head to bed, but when he got a text from his teammates, telling him that you were there, he knew he had to go. He knew you weren’t going to talk to him after what he did to you, but you were still his person, and he still had to make sure you were safe.

You were at a New Years Eve party at UMich, one that Luke had invited you to. You were so excited, you thought tonight was the night. You were going to get that New Year's kiss, he was going to be your boyfriend, and you would be his girlfriend, and everything would be right in the world, something you had dreamed of since you were ten years old; since the moment you met him. You put on your best sparkly black dress, threw on some makeup, spritzed yourself with the perfume you knew he liked most, tossed on some very uncomfortable high heels, and found yourself at the party.

He was there the second you opened the door, handing you a beer upon arrival. Mark pulled you into a hug and Dylan begged you to play beer pong with him against Ethan and Luca. You agreed after sending a small smile to Luke, silently asking if it was okay.

He nodded. “I’ll be right here, okay?” he whispered in your ear as Dylan held your wrist, dragging you to the table.

You played until you sunk the ball in the last of Ethan’s and Luca’s cups, jumping into Dylan’s arms as you pranced around the table, rubbing it in the losers’ faces. You loved this feeling. With them, you felt loved, you felt excited, and electric. You never wanted that night to end.

And before you knew it, the countdown was beginning.

10…9…Dylan pushed you to the stairs, knowing you were on your way to Luke. Ethan and the rest of the boys sent each other knowing looks as you rolled your eyes, trying not to fall over as you made your way to the stairs of the house.

8…7…You knew the house like the back of your hand. You knew which bathroom to use when the rest were busy, which laundry room was strictly used for barf stains, and most importantly, which room was Luke’s.

6…5…You marched down the hall, seeing Luke’s room only a little ways away. Couples were already cuddled up against the walls, kissing before the countdown had even ended. For some reason, it made you even more excited. You were only 5 seconds away from kissing the love of your life.

4…3…Reaching his door, your hand held the knob as you pushed it open. And you swore you felt your heart plummet to the floor. Luke was there, he was right there, kissing a girl that wasn’t you. And you knew you shouldn’t be mad. He wasn’t yours. But some part of you, some big part of you, really believed he was.

2…1… “Y/N?” Luke pulled away from the girl as you stood at the door, your hand still on the knob. You were frozen. You didn’t know whether to run or cry. Did you even deserve to cry? It’s not like you guys were dating or anything. But sometimes it felt like it. And maybe he was like how everyone said he was. Maybe Luke Hughes was a fuck boy; a player.

“Happy New Year’s!” you heard everyone in the house shout as Luke replaced those words with shouts of your name. You ran. You turned around and ran down the hall, down the stairs, and past the boys. You ran outside, calling an Uber to get you, and take you away from this hell hole. You were embarrassed. You were so embarrassed. Everyone could see that you were in love with him; that you wanted that kiss to be with you. Ethan had rooted for you, Dylan had rooted for you, everyone had. But it didn’t matter if you knew his favorite color, his biggest fears, what he stored on the topshelf of his dresser. It didn’t matter if there was a picture of you on his bedside table, or that you went to every high school dance together, or if you held a Luke Hughes hoodie stash back at your dorm. Because in the end, you still weren’t enough for him.

“Y/N!” you didn’t turn around. You knew who it was based on just the sound of his voice alone. You knew it was Luke, but you were tired of being delusional and embarrassing yourself time and time again. “I didn’t mean to kiss her.”

You watched the unmoving street in front of you as if something extraordinary was going to happen. You couldn’t look at him, because surely you would have broken down the moment you were met with those green eyes.

“Y/N, please,” his hand landed on your shoulder as you blinked rapidly, trapping your tears within the walls of your eyes. You won’t let them slip. You won’t let him see you cry. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry.”

You shook your head. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Luke. It was just a kiss.”

“It upset you—”

“I’m just tired,” you said harshly. “I just want to go home.”

“I’ll walk you, we can talk about this, and- and—”

You finally turned to him. He looked stressed, like he knew he was losing you, and he knew why but he was too afraid to admit it. Or maybe he was embarrassed. He knew you liked him, but the thing was, he didn’t feel that way for you. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much his friends pushed him to, his parents and siblings. You were his best friend and that’s all you ever were to him.

“I’m not mad. Whatever I felt for you, it’s okay, I think I’m done feeling that way.”

And just when he wanted to ask you what you meant by that, you hopped in the Uber that pulled up to the curb, closed the door, and drove away. You ignored his calls after that. You ignored his texts, his friends’ texts, his brothers’ texts. You were going to get over him, because just as much as it hurt to ice him out, it hurt even more to pretend to just be friends with him.

So he watched you at the party as you downed beers and danced with guys you’ve never spoken to before. He watched you play beer pong with your new friends and kiss people that he so badly wanted to keep you away from.

All he could do was watch, now that you don’t talk.

#> fias 600 celly! ★#luke hughes imagine #luke hughes imagines #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes fic #luke hughes angst #new jersey devils #nj devils imagine #nj devils #njd

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jaylaxies · 2 years

Text

CAN'T YOU SEE ME?

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader (ft. mingyu from svt)

GENRE/CW: smut, the reader is three years older than heeseung, protected sex, slight cunnilingus and fingering, childhood friends to lovers, angst, fluff, mentions of cheating, mentions of nicknames, mentions of food/eating, mentions of jake, i'm sorry mingyu </3 lmk if i missed something!

WC: 11k words

SYNOPSIS: lee heeseung first met you when he was four. to him, you were the epitome of an angel, the one who was selflessly available for the bambi eyed boy. at the age of ten, he learned that he liked you, wanting you to be his babysitter and no one else. he knew what he felt for you was love by the time you were in your third year of college, him being determined to confess soon, also entering the college as a freshman. but will he be able to win your heart with the entry of your newfound boyfriend?

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni.

A/N: hihi, sweethearts <33 this one is for all the hee noonas out there! it turned out longer than intended aaa i really hope you enjoy reading it! all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated, it keeps me motivated! :3 iloveyou guys, happy reading~ <33

As a seven-year-old, going to school was the most fascinating part of your day, even more so when you got to observe and take in the scenery outside, your curious mind trying to record the weather patterns and asking your teacher about why it changed as per the course of time.

It was a given at how proud your parents were to see your zeal to understand and learn whatever intrigued your mind, their wide smiles while you asked them questions was enough to prove that. Albeit, they did find themselves speechless at certain times, not having the answer with them.

Although, you were genuinely confused to see a big truck parked near the premises of your house as your school bus dropped you back home. The surroundings were scattered with different boxes of all sizes scattered around the front lawn of your neighbouring house, a few strangers carrying those boxes inside.

Your eyes skimmed to your mother, who was gracefully laughing at something another woman had said, you had never seen her before though. At that very moment, you decided you liked that woman for making your mom smile carelessly and you greeted her by bowing down, introducing yourself with a smile that reached your eyes.

“Aren't you a little angel?” the lady smiled at you, taking your small hands and shaking them.

While most adults didn't bother with kids, you were more than ecstatic to have met someone who was keen to know about your hobbies, your mother watching fondly as you replied to her questions with enthusiasm.

Your lips soon turned into a frown as you saw a little figure standing behind Lee, and you gasped when he let out a whine to get her attention, not expecting any noise of such sort. Your mother cooed gently, striking up a conversation with Mrs. Lee again as you observed the boy in front of you.

You weren't sure what intrigued you about him so much. Maybe it was the fact that he had pretty big eyes and a small face with puffed-up cheeks. Adding to that, he held a bambie plushie in his hands — surprisingly resembling his face.

“Won't you introduce yourself, sweetie?” Mrs. Lee asked the little boy, who finally broke eye contact with you to nod at his mother with a gulp.

With his hands outstretched, he spoke up in a sweet voice, “I am Lee Heeseung and I am four.”

At that very instant, the wind blew softly, messing his hair up, which he patted hurriedly before stretching his hand again. His curious eyes fixated on you once more. He looked like a porcelain doll to you with his delicate frame.

You gently held his hand, telling him your name, which he repeated after you in an experimental manner, getting the pronunciation right on the second time with a nod, causing you to clap in delight at the little ball of sunshine.

“Mom look! He looks like Bambi!” you squealed and he looked around, confused at your sudden comment and his lip quivered, thinking that you called him the name of an animal in a funny manner.

Soon, his big eyes were filled with tears as he held on to his mother's leg, complaining that you called him a Bambi.

Never in your life had you been in a situation like this, leaving you clueless as the little boy sniffled in front of you, his mother bending down to wipe his cheeks, which were stained red with his crying.

“I'm sorry—” you softly fiddled with your fingers, feeling guilty for making him cry.

“Oh no, sweetheart! You were just complimenting his eyes, right?” his mother spoke up and you nodded. She gave you a reassuring smile and you noticed how her eyes looked exactly like Heeseung's.

She turned towards the crying boy again, “Did you hear that, Heeseung? She called your eyes pretty! Won't you say thank you to her?”

“She d—didn't make fun of me?” he softly inquired, clutching his plushie tighter.

“Of course not! She said that you have beautiful eyes!” her words made him turn to you.

“I—Thank you,” he softly whispered, tugging on your dress which made you bend down with caution.

He softly pressed his lips on your cheek in a feather-light kiss.

His ministrations made you giggle, and he learned that the situation was back to okay, so he followed your actions and showed you his adorable smile, eyelashes still wet from his crying session earlier.

That concluded your first meeting with Lee Heeseung, an angelic boy who was too sensitive around new people, however, he opened up to you in record time and wished to show you all his toys. Your name was his favourite word to say out loud and he sweetly waited for you to come back from school each day in hopes of playing with you.

To say you were his favourite person to play with would be an understatement, he went as far as giving you the Bambi plushie when he saw your face sporting a sad frown once you had come back from school.

Little Heeseung adored your existence.

You saw him grow up from a four-year-old to a ten-year-old. He was taller and talked a lot more, he didn't carry his plushies around anymore and most importantly, he loved causing trouble.

He had always gotten what he had asked for, kept like a spoiled Bambi prince. And the prince wanted no one else but you to babysit him. Mr and Mrs Lee were both busy in their own fields, business trips being a common venture for them.

However, leaving Heeseung alone was never an option for them. Taking him along wasn't one either with his constant demands and the need for attention, that wasn't something his parents could afford to take care of in the middle of their meetings. Neither was he too keen on the idea of having a complete stranger as his babysitter.

Which left them with his last resort — you.

Ten-year-old Heeseung was the epitome of a good boy when it concerned you, and that made your job of babysitting myriads easier, especially when you got a good amount of cash for it, which you tucked away in your savings safely.

“He's a spawn of satan!” the other babysitter had said, the one who gave up trying to feed him.

“He is?” you asked slowly, “But he's always been so quiet and understanding.”

Which was partially correct since he was on his best behaviour around you.

The babysitter just shook her head, “He threatened to not eat at first and when he got hungry, he took the matter into his own hands and proceeded to open the fridge. In conclusion, it was a disaster.” the sixteen-year-old explained and you wondered if Heeseung was capable of doing so.

Nevertheless, you nodded with a smile and took house keys from her, making your way to his house with your backpack to do homework in the meantime. You didn't understand what the babysitter had said, for, Heeseung happily sat at the dining table and ate his food without a spot of mess around him.

“Hey, Bambi!” you happily spoke up and he smiled when he saw you at his place, patting his hair once you ruffled it before sitting with him.

He told you all about his school stories and secrets, you heard it all attentively and helped him with his homework whilst you were doing your own alongside.

“You know Jake?” he asked, and you nodded with the memory of him mentioning his classmate.

“He likes a girl! Isn't that gross?” he scrunched his nose while solving the math problem in front of him.

“Why is that gross?” you inquired, a small smile on your face as you heard him talk.

“Is it not?” he questioned, tilting his head.

His family loved him, they really did. They were busy individuals still and hence, Heeseung was usually left alone, which is also why he didn't like meeting new people since either. He was curious about everything and somehow believed that you'll be the answer to all his questions.

“It is cute, don't you think? If you like someone then you share all your happiness and sadness with them! It's a happy feeling!” that's all you could tell the ten-year-old, not having faced such a situation before but that's what you had gathered from movies and books to date.

“Oh, it's fine if Jake is happy then,” he muttered, eliciting a laugh out of you.

“Can we have ice cream before mom comes back? Please?” his eyes shone and you pinched his cheek.

You were never the one to go out of your way and break the rules, especially when his mom had strict rules for him, including the one which stated that he will get his share of ice cream only once a week.

His big eyes pleaded in silence and you gave up, it was almost like taking care of your younger sibling as you didn't have any. You swore his eyes lit up at the seraphic treat, jumping with joy when he tasted it for the first time, kissing your knuckles right after as a gesture to say thank you.

Heeseung was perfectly fine to be around which further made you question if the babysitter just wanted a way to get an off for the day. He held your hand the entire walk, it was habitual since he always held his mom's hand, he finished his ice cream while explaining how to play the newest video game his parents got him last week, stating it was the coolest thing ever.

His mother was elated to see him silently reading his course book, sitting alongside you in harmony. She called you her lifesaver and you only shook your head, embarrassed at her usual sense of politeness as she gave you a little box of cookies which she picked up while coming back home, saying good night to you but was stopped.

Heeseung ran towards the door and hugged your taller frame, whining about you having to leave just when he was going to show you his video game and you promised that you'll give him your undivided attention the next time you come over.

“You can stay here for the night! Your house is next to ours anyways!” he proposed.

“I'll be back, yeah?” you sadly said, not having it in you to reject his offer, however, you did have to go back. His whine was loud as you closed the door behind him, chuckling at his usual antics.

That was the day Lee Heeseung had confirmed that you made him happy.

Even his diary was aware of the fact that at the ripe or age of fifteen, both your families had made a plan to go for a day out, the location being an amusement park. It was hard for him to not see you each day since you did spend the majority of your childhood with him. Being eighteen, you were devoted to entrances and college hunting, trying to stay close to your family by opting for the university nearby.

He had been so used to being near you, for, you were always there for him when his parents weren't, as a babysitter, as a friend, and as someone who made him happy.

You always accompanied him while walking back home from school, he treated you with dinners when you were asked to keep a watch on him. Nothing ever changed, he was still that kid who craved your attention.

Seeing you dressed up all pretty was enough to capture his attention for the day, following you around for every ride and activity you had wanted to do for the day as your parents sat down at a restaurant after a few rides themselves, leaving you alone with him.

“So,” he spoke up, voice deeper with the onset of puberty.

You had to look up at how tall he had gotten and you still remember the four-year-old Hee who cried in front of you, the fond memory tugging your lips up.

“So?” you repeated, getting your boba from the stall nearby and getting him his favourite ice cream, who you had memorized by now.

“College soon, huh?

Your eyes gleam and you nod, “I can't wait!”

“Why? Don't you like it here?” he asked with a tinge of hope that you'll stay.

You bit your lip, taking a sip of your boba before laughing softly, “I'm not going anywhere, I got into the HYBE University—”

You weren't even finished with your confession yet and were tackled into a hug, almost making your drink fall off with how close Heeseung held you, “Fuck, I thought you were going to leave!” he spoke up and you smacked his arm.

“Language!”

His actions might have been perceived as goofy for you. However, deep down, he was scared to lose you, the three-year age gap only added to his list of concerns. He knew that whatever he felt for you was something only restricted to you, a giddy feeling he didn't feel around anyone else but you.

An additional aspect that he had been afraid of would be your perception of him. He wondered if you had always ever seen him as a sibling figure, he had wished for it to be something more. Unlike the stupid protagonists in the romance novels — that's what he called them, he was aware of the feelings he harboured for you.

You ruffled his hair, an action which had become your habit now, his hugs always gave you a sense of comfort, something that you happily accepted.

“You look happy,” you pointed it out.

“Well, I wouldn't exactly be happy if my best friend leaves me alone here,” he explained, calling you a friend was the farthest he could go, but he would never refer to you as a sister, ever.

You raised your brow at that statement, “Best friend? What happened to Jake?” you teased lowly.

“You know what I mean!” he rolled his eyes, smiling at the laugh that bloomed out of you. “What are you looking forward to then?” his inquiry made you think for a second, sitting down on the closest bench before you proceed to answer.

“It's going to be a wholly new experience, a refreshing setting maybe? And I'm looking forward to new friendships, and a chance at more, I guess?” you shyly spoke up.

“A boyfriend you mean?” he deadpanned.

He wasn't very keen on knowing your desires anymore, you were never the one to talk about your love life, catching him off guard with your sudden revelation. You craned your head towards him, not noticing the switch in his tone despite the irritation being clear on his face.

“If I get the chance to have one then, yeah?” you smiled and he returned it, but it didn't reach his eyes.

His mood was sour till you got back home, the further plans included your dinner together. It wasn't silent, your parents had a lot to talk about the current political issues, which left you to stay mum and consume your food quietly. Heeseung didn't utter a word throughout the meal, he was deep in thought about something and you furrowed your brows when you saw him mindlessly playing with food.

“A penny for your thoughts?” you broke his session of overthinking ways to not let you get into a relationship, he didn't have any ideas still.

With the conclusion of dinner, your parents had left to sit in the living room, continuing with their discussions from before, leaving you with Heeseung to clear up the table.

“It's nothing.” He dismissed you in a beat.

“Are you sure?” you slowly asked, he was never the one to keep stuff to himself.

You weren't ready for his next action, he wasn't sure how he got enough courage to do so either.

His smirk was cocky as he bent down to your height, his face in close proximity to yours.

“Aw, are you worried about me?” his works were filled with sarcasm.

“Of course! I care for you.” your words were genuine, fingers wrapping around his arm while your eyes bored into his deep brown ones, heart beating faster at the propinquity.

His strong persona faltered at your sincerity, his body automatically engulfing you in a warm hug where he held you with utmost softness. You held him for as long as it took for him to feel okay again without any question, that being the reason why that particular day was counted as one of his favourite days — because your words paired with the look in your eyes told him that deep inside, maybe, just maybe, you held at least a tinge of love for him as he did for you.

Spending time with you was a luxury for him, considering your ever-so-busy schedule, since you had started college. Nevertheless, making time for him was something you were bound to do, the usual movie nights helping you take your mind off the undulated stress you had been harbouring.

One thing Heeseung learned while growing up was that he was more creatively inclined than anything else, studies didn't intrigue him, it was something he was obliged to do, which was great since the guitar was his newfound obsession. Another activity he started to impress you but fell in love with it gradually.

Heeseung took care of you the entirety of your first year in university. Whether it consisted of taking you out for your favourite food or simply accompanying you to the park for a breather, he was present with you at all times.

“You must be cold,” he whispered, fog leaving his mouth as you both wandered around the streets on a winter day.

You turned your head to get a clear sight of him, hair messy and eyes filled with worry, you couldn't believe he was seventeen already, cursing time for passing by this quickly. His nose had turned red with the chilly wind blowing outside and—

“Hey, are you okay?” he snapped you out of your daydream. Blinking twice, you looked down, embarrassed to realize that you were staring at him unconsciously.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” your smile wasn't convincing when you were, indeed, freezing.

Soon, you were wrapped in the warmth of his coat, his scent invading your senses, but you couldn't let him freeze out there.

Instead, you held his hand while dragging him towards the nearest convenience store. He followed you wordlessly, eyes focused on your figure covered with his coat and the sight of his hands in yours, even the cold couldn't stop how warm his heart felt with this setting, even more so when you asked him to sit down, getting his favourite ramen noodles ready and passing it to him.

“You know me so well,” he fondly stated, eyeing the drink you got for him alongside.

“Of course I do! I've been your babysitter for so long!” you spoke up, teasing him, knowing well enough how he doesn't like to be babied anymore.

“God, I'm not a baby anymore!”

The shy blush on the apple of his cheeks said otherwise, which you pinched and he swore even the minute gesture gave him butterflies, especially when you laughed at his flustered state, genuinely content while spending time with him.

“How's college?” he asked.

In all honesty, he wanted to know if you were romantically interested in someone at the college, with your other experiences too, of course.

You fiddled with your fingers for a second, biting your lip before turning to answer, “The usual, assignments are a bother. But yeah! We found this cute cafe nearby and the food was to die for! I'll take you there someday.”

His heartbeat fastened as you initiated the plan to take him out someday. He was definitely getting ahead of himself but he didn't mind it a bit. You could pay him a sliver of attention and that would be enough to send him into a state of frenzy.

And over the span of a year, he noticed you being happier each time you met, which only fuelled his desire to do more, anything to make your happiness tenfold.

Eventually, your daily meet-ups were reduced to weekly and soon, even less. You last properly spent time together on his eighteenth birthday, mostly reminiscing about everything you've done together, all his childhood albums had your pictures, at least one if not more. He was overjoyed to hear that you took a day off just to spend his special day with him, and you knew that you'd do it again in a heartbeat.

But, since then, he'd been indulging himself in studies, “I need to get into a good college as well,” he had stated. You admired how hard he worked. You frowned when he kept ignoring your pleas to know what college he had selected. It only made you wonder if the said boy wanted to travel overseas and study abroad, he would get into a good college with how diligently he worked throughout his last year at school.

However, it didn't stay on your mind for long when you finally caught the attention of the guy who you had been eyeing the first year. Kim Mingyu, the heartthrob, girls (and guys) swooned over him, and you were one of them, you couldn't blame them because Kim Mingyu was an eye candy with a smile that could make anyone crane their necks just to have a glimpse of him.

You were no exception. The expected part in this ordeal would be that he noticed you, and not just in a friendly advancing manner. It was last year when he first learned your name, attention on you when you wore your little skirt to a party where your friend dragged you along. You hated every bit of it, feeling as if it was a mistake that you even agreed to this, until Mingyu came along.

It was a pleasant night, you both sat on the balcony and talked for a few hours. Soon, he found himself around you more, until he finally kissed you very recently, approaching you with a proposal to be his girlfriend. As a twenty-one-year-old who had never been kissed, it felt like something straight out of a fairytale. And he kept you occupied for a good time, not letting intrusive thoughts bother you further.

“So you applied for the same college as her?” Jake asked with an amused smirk.

“Yeah, it's a great college and I had to work my ass off for it, but yes,” Heeseung spoke up, acting nonchalant.

It was a surprise for you, the sole reason why he didn't tell you before even when you asked him with the most adorable pout he had ever seen.

“Dude, you are so whipped!” he laughed at his best friend.

“What do you mean?” Heeseung furrowed his brows, however, his pink ear tips did nothing to hide his feelings.

“What I mean is that, you've been in love with her since forever,” he stated proudly, “And you are not good at hiding it, mate.”

“Since when do you know?” he sighed, hiding his blushing face behind his palm.

“Since you came to me telling me that it's not gross to like a girl, because your babysitter said so.”

Heeseung freely laughed at that. But Jake was right, he had always admired you ever since he was a child, it only bloomed and he only realized that he was in love with you at the age of sixteen.

He swore you grew prettier each time he saw you, as if he was in a trance and he couldn't stop his eyes from fixating on your lips when you talked. He wanted to kiss you.

“Will you tell her you got in?” Jake asked.

“I—yeah, I'm going to her place right after this to show her my acceptance letter,” he smiled softly, knowing that you'd jump and engulf him in a hug right after he breaks the news to you.

Although, what he didn't expect to see was you opening the door with your lipstick smudged and breathing rigged, “Hey, Hee! Did you want something?” you sweetly asked.

A deep voice resounded from inside before Heeseung even got the chance to reply, “Baby, who's there?”

Heeseung felt his heart breaking as a stranger came into view, opening the door fully to reveal a tall guy right behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist as you softly giggled.

“Mingyu, meet Heeseung!” you introduced him and he extended his arm out, Hee couldn't help but notice how his muscles flexed with each movement, veins protruding from his arm.

“Hee, this is my boyfriend.” your words were shy, however, you felt something unsettling in the air.

He gulped while introducing himself with a shakey breath, it was like it whole world came crumbling down with how fondly you looked at the guy, he was everything Heeseung wasn't. Naturally, he couldn't stop the tears brimming up his eyes.

“I—I'll come back some o—other time, I'm sorry if I disturbed you—” he swiftly said, leaving your place and sprinting towards his home.

“Heeseung—” you called out his name, concerned and ready to follow him but were stopped.

“Let the kid go, you can meet him later,” Mingyu whispered, kissing your neck again.

You nodded half-heartedly, noticing an envelope on the ground which you picked up before closing the door.

Heeseung knew you weren't his, but that didn't stop him from loving you all this time, he was so sure that it could have worked out after his constant efforts, he couldn't fathom you had a boyfriend and you didn't even bother telling him, did he mean so little to you?

“Fuck,” he cursed the timing, angry tears streaming down his cheeks, his knees giving up as he struggled to hold himself up, curling into a ball and crying into his arms.

“Why can't you see me, y/n?” he whispered, yearning.

Your mind was in a state of anguish after Mingyu left. Opening the letter was the first thing you did in his absence, slightly tearing up at the acceptance letter which Heeseung left on the ground. That's why he was working so hard. That's why he had been keeping his college from you. He wanted to surprise you.

He had come to you with that very motive, and you successfully drove him away.

“Oh Hee,” you softly whispered, making your way to his place, the wind slightly cold as it hit your bare arms which caused you to shiver. You rang the doorbell, hugging yourself while waiting.

You didn't get any reply.

With a sigh, you rang the bell again in hopes of getting an answer, your hand clutching the letter tighter.

After a few minutes of silence, you felt like giving up would be the best option for the night, wondering if he went to bed already, or maybe he went out to meet a friend.

Heeseung stood by his window, watching your drooped figure walking back to your place, eyes teary and he refrained himself to call out your name — he needed time to let this settle in.

You weren't his.

Another doorbell snapped him out of his trance. It wasn't you, but some delivery guy. Heeseung was sure that he had not ordered anything, he took the parcel with a questioning gaze. The delivery man was kind enough to tell him that the order was prepaid and he disappeared soon after handing it over.

The delicious scent of his favourite dish filled his nostrils as soon as he opened up the package, paired with his favourite drink. The sight made him choke up a sob.

No one knew about this except for you.

“Why do you give me hope, y/n?” he whispered to himself, chewing the food softly, cheeks red with how much he had cried in the past few hours.

Nevertheless, he was thankful for your gesture, at least for the night.

He knew that letting his feelings go would be the best idea. However, the idea of leaving you in the hands of a complete stranger, the one he didn't trust a bit was something he couldn't do.

With his thoughts running wild and his head bursting from the headache, he drifted off to the dreamland with the image of you in his mind.

Lee Heeseung was good at maintaining his distance, staying over at Jake's place to prevent running into you at times. You hadn't talked to him ever since that night, and it was killing you inside. You tried to tell Mingyu about this and he brushed it off saying how he's going through puberty right now.

With that being said, you never mentioned Heeseung in front of him, the sentence pissed you off but you stayed mum, not wanting to start an argument.

You did see Heeseung once, calling out his name. His speed was faster though, he got into the car and drove away even before you fully came out in the verandah.

That made you upset beyond words. You were clueless, unable to understand the sudden change in his behaviour, a frown plastered on your face for the rest of the day.

The only place he couldn't avoid you at was the college. It had been three days since Heeseung's semester had started and you failed to see him in all those days. Day four was definitely on your side as you watched the tall boy giggling and talking to some girl, who you assumed was also a fresher.

It seemed like you were the only one he was ignoring. With a gulp and shake of your head, you strided towards him, holding your tote bag tighter before you tapped on his shoulder.

He turned around, his smile dropping in an instant, turning into a frown as he told the girl to go on and that he'll join her in the classroom. You flinched unconsciously when he raised his brows at you.

“Uhm you have a girlfriend already?” you cringed at your choice of words. Way to start the conversation.

He rolled his eyes, taking a step back but you were quick to hold on to his arm, “I'm sorry, please just give me a second.”

You felt small under his gaze, he looked angry. Or disappointed. You weren't sure.

On the other hand, Heeseung was doing his best to not give in, his heart beating erratically when he saw you, your scent filling up his nose, which made him want to hold you.

“Congratulations for getting into the college, Hee! I knew you could do it.” you smiled softly.

“Ah, thanks.” his reply was short, so you proceeded to ask him what you had initially came to inquire.

“Why—” you stopped, taking in a shaky breath, “Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?”

He looked down, not being able to bear the look of hurt on your face. Thankfully, he got an excuse to escape.

“Oh look, your boyfriend is coming over,” he said, rolling his eyes and leaving.

Mingyu caught up to you soon, pecking your lips in an instant. Heeseung saw that, and what he felt was a lot worse than what he had expected.

He knew that Mingyu wasn't the one to be trusted. Heeseung was never the kind to judge someone on the basis of their looks. Mingyu was an exception — his fuckboy persona was too strong to ignore, and you were blinded by his charms. It was a hunch at first until he witnessed it with his own eyes.

Heeseung was leaving after his last class for the day, making his way towards the parking lot only to see Mingyu with a girl that wasn't you. They were close, too close and the faint sound of giggling made him see red. He sat down in the car, hitting the wheel.

“Can't you see, y/n? He's just gonna hurt you.” he hoped that somehow you could have seen him, heard him.

Going to Jake was the best option for him at given moment.

“Dude, you have to tell her,” he spoke softly, seeing his friend in distress.

“How? I can't even talk to her without wanting to kiss her, I feel like crying whenever I see her.” his voice came out strained.

“So you're gonna let that asshole hurt her?” Jake's question was blunt as he blinked impassively and he could only shake his head as a no.

He sat unmoving, letting his friend knock some sense into his brain, “Okay, I need a day or two to actually talk to her. I don't think she'll even want to talk to me after how I treated her today.”

“You have to be fast with your apology then. Quit being a kid and get your girl.”

Heeseung groaned, ear tips getting red at the mention of you being his girl, “Not mine—” he started and Jake raised his brows, “—yet.”

With a newfound motivation, he got back home. Not expecting anyone to be standing in front of his place, especially since his parents were out on their business trips, again.

All his confidence went down the drain when he squinted his eyes, getting out of his car to your shivering figure.

You went over to him as quick as you could muster, not giving him a chance to escape. This was too much, you had never felt this alone in your entirety of life. You tried to remind yourself that you had a boyfriend you can go to whenever you wish to seek comfort, but that wasn't the case either since Mingyu informed you about his plans with someone else.

It should have been fine, normal even. It wasn't the case — you cried, holding yourself in hopes of feeling better. You wished you had Heeseung with you then.

You hugged him, voice coming out muffled, “Please don't ignore me, I'll do everything to make it right again, Hee. Please—please just tell me what I did?” you looked at him.

His eyes widened slightly when he noticed that yours were slightly puffed up and red. He couldn't tell you, not right now.

“Why do you care?” he regretted his words as soon as they came out of his mouth. He wasn't supposed to say that.

“What do you mean?” you asked weakly.

“You have a boyfriend to go to,” he hated where this conversation was heading.

“Why do you keep bringing him up, what did he even do?” you were frustrated.

“You say you care about me and don't even bother telling me about getting a boyfriend? Trust me, y/n, he will hurt you.”

You stepped back, the feeling of anger coursing down your veins, “You don't even know him.”

“I know enough.” he replied in a beat, leaving you alone outside to cry.

His own tears slip out once he gets into the comfort of his home, confused about why he made it even harder for you both.

You tried to conceal your disappointment when Mingyu cancelled your date plans the very next day, you didn't bother asking him for a reason, simply saying that you understand. Which left you alone with your intrusive thoughts all over your mind.

You rushed to open the door as the doorbell rang, followed by the shout of your name and you knew it was Heeseung, you'd recognise his voice anywhere.

“Hee,” you whispered, seeing the boy in front of you, his hair was messed up and it clearly showed that he brushed them with just his fingers, eyes going down to his hands which held a small packet of your favourite chips.

“I'm—” he gulped, looking anywhere but at you, “—I've been an ass to you, I'm so fucking sorry, please don't be angry—” he stopped as soon as you threw your hands around his neck, pulling him in a hug, a year escaping your eye which you wiped without him noticing.

“How can I ever be mad at you?” your question made him melt, he felt safe in your arms, hold tightening as he whispered another sorry.

“Are we okay?” he asked cautiously, you hummed softly, his touch bringing a sense of comfort to your mind and body.

“Is everything alright?” you asked after a moment of silence as you both sat down on your bed.

“Y—yeah, I had some personal problems,” he confessed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” your hand itched to hold his.

“I think I'll be fine in a few days,” you nodded, understanding that he didn't wish to talk about it.

“But, what did you mean when you said that Mingyu will hurt me?” you asked, playing with your fingers.

He wasn't sure if it was the right time to tell you, especially when you looked so small and vulnerable in front of him. He called out your name slowly.

“I—I saw him with another girl yesterday.”

You looked at him with a confused face, “Was she tall with long hair?” you asked.

“Yeah, you know her?” he asked, eyes widening.

“She's a close friend of Mingyu. I was bothered at first, but Gyu assured me that it's nothing of that sort, just friendship,” you explained.

Heeseung rolled his eyes, flabbergasted at your native behaviour, at how easily you trusted your said boyfriend. The action luckily went unnoticed by you.

“Hey! You wanna go out?” he asked, switching the conversation and you let out a genuine laugh after god knows how long, his smile mirroring yours.

“Where do we go?” you asked, reaching to stroke his hair as a habit.

The answer, however, was just his smile.

It was as if you had enabled his sudden desire to explore every part of the city — which he had wanted to do from long, he just needed a bit of company for his rendezvous.

And you were here to provide him with just that. Heeseung wasn't accustomed to you having a boyfriend, but he did all he could to spend time with you, it was easy considering how Mingyu was always busy, cancelling the plans with you.

It wasn't a thing to be happy about, seeing the look on your face angered him, but that gave him the opportunity to be the one you'd spend your time with, and maybe, just maybe, you'd realize that he is the one you should be with and not some guy who doesn't bother taking out a few hours of his day to spend them with his girlfriend.

Safe to say, Heeseung never brought up Mingyu's name in front of you, not when he wanted your undivided attention all for himself.

He didn't do anything fancy at first, calling you over his place, letting you sit in between his legs while he went over the controls of the new game he had just purchased, teaching you how to play it. What he didn't know was that your heartbeat was just as fast as his own, the skin touching as he held your hand with the controller, and each move of his sent tingles down your spine.

You knew it wasn't normal for you to be feeling this way, ignorance was the key for you. However, you weren't sure how long it would work, especially when you got into a little argument with Mingyu.

“So you're on talking terms with the kid again?” he was amused, drinking his can of beer when you told him about what you've been up to, since he had been too busy this whole time.

“He's not a kid.” you huffed, “Where were you, it's been a week since I last saw you?” your voice held some sort of sadness.

“Honestly, I wanted to come over but Hoshi came over and dragged me to parties since he was in the town for a week. Sorry, baby.” he came closer, wrapping his arms around you and you couldn't help but notice that they didn't even give you a sliver of comfort that Heeseung provided you with just his existence.

You didn't let him kiss you, excusing yourself as your mom called you right on time, letting you know that she'll be extending her stay at your grandmother's place for a few more weeks. With that, you felt sulky for the whole day. It was crystal clear that Mingyu wasn't as invested in the relationship as he claimed he'd be when he first asked you out.

Walking home was easier while you contemplated your decisions, it was even effortless when you saw the bambi-eyed boy waiting for you outside, you knew you had to come to a conclusion soon.

So simply, you called Mingyu while waving at the smiling boy, he picked up the call after three rings. You inquired if he was sure about your date tomorrow, and he paused for a few seconds, seemingly to come up with an excuse.

“Y/n, I'm so sorry but can we shift it to—”

You scoffed, cutting the call short to save his excuses. Mingyu was never an option, it had always been someone else and you admit that you'd been too blind to see it. With a smile, you approached Hee, pulling him in a hug.

“You look happy,” he smiled, tucking your head under his chin.

“I am happy,” you truthfully admitted out loud and somehow, he could feel that your statement was related to him, making his heart flutter.

“Well, that's a great thing because we're going out,” he announced, ruffling your hair the exact way you did to him out of habit.

“Wait, right now? Where?” you asked, taking a look at your watch which displayed exact nine.

“You'll see, c'mon.” he took your hand as of it was the most natural thing to do, guiding you to his car and your eyes widened, you had never sat with him driving and he sensed your hesitance, pouting a bit, “What is that look for? I'm a great driver!” he huffed out.

“I trust you on that, Hee,” you spoke, your mind trying to comprehend how fast you both grew up, seeing Hee in the driver's seat was mesmerizing, his eyes fixated on the road, lip slightly bitten with concentration and fingers gripping the steering wheel in an attractive manner.

You hoped he didn't pay attention to your eyes practically analyzing his every movement, although he knew exactly what you were up to.

One thought gave rise to the other and soon, you were playing with your rings while looking outside mindlessly, thinking about the things you had to take care of in the upcoming days.

“Your thoughts are loud,” he spoke gently, hand coming down to rest on your thigh in a soft caress, almost like an urge to ask you what you had been thinking about.

“I—I'm sorry,” your face contorting into a wince mixed with a hint of awe.

Heeseung had been good at reading you ever since he was a child, he used to watch you come home from school while he was just four, waiting for you to come home. He'd simply get chocolates for you on the days you looked tired — getting them from his personal goodies stash which he shared with no one else but you.

He had been a darling from the very first day you met him.

“Let's get your mind off things,” he spoke up, parking the car and rushed to your side, opening the door for you.

He sure knew how to lift your spirits up, your lips curling up at the sight of a clean, empty beach wrapped around a blanket of the starry night sky. You walked forward, hair swaying with the light breeze, the rich scent of sand and water filling up your senses.

While you absorbed the view in front of you, Heeseung took this opportunity to get a good look at you. It was hard for him to look elsewhere when you were the prettiest person he had ever laid eyes on, he saw your smile and he but his own. It wasn't a foreign feeling for him, but it still scared him to know that you weren't his.

His train of thoughts broke as you held on to his wrist, dragging him closer to the water, feeling the sand on your feet with each step you took and before you knew it, he was chasing you while you ran with the softest giggle.

The old couple passing by the scene smiled fondly when Heeseung caught you in his arms, “Young love,” they spoke with shiny eyes, happy to be witnessing something so pure.

You weren't sad you got caught, in fact, you'll always wish for Heeseung to be the one who catches you.

To Heeseung, you were nothing less than a dream, a happy bundle of joy as you comfortably laid down next to him on the sand, courtesy of the picnic blanket he had kept in the back of his car.

“You see that?” he points at the star which shines the brightest in the sky.

You nod, turning your head to see his face right after.

“That's you.” his hand then shifted to point at the star right next to it, “And next to your star, that's me.”

He turned his head to see you already looking at him. His eyes held all the stars this universe had to offer, skin shining under the moonlight.

You wanted to kiss him.

Your eyes flicked back to see a shooting star, immediately sitting up at the sight.

“Hee! Look, a shooting star!” you cried in delight, never having seen it in real life.

“Quick! Make a wish.” you closed your eyes, joining your hands.

Heeseung followed your actions, making a wish of his own.

“What did you wish for, Bambi?” you asked him softly.

“Well, that's a secret,” he grinned sheepishly, “What did you wish for, y/n?”

You scoffed, “That's a secret.” he pouted again.

You continue to stare at him, eyebrows cocked up until he burst into giggles.

And just like that, the night ended with you both wishing to have each other.

You wasted no time in getting to Mingyu's place the next morning, it was the fastest you had ever driven, the talk being important this time.

“Mingyu, we need to talk.”

He said your name out loud, confusion lacing his voice.

“I—I don't think it's gonna work between us.” your words were clear.

“So you want to break up?” he rolled his eyes with an accusatory tone, continuing further, “Why? Finally running back to that kid?”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, you spend all your time with him. Does he fuck you that good?”

“Mingyu, you're crossing the line,” you warned him.

He laughed, “Why? Did I lie? You spend all your time with him anyways, and that kid never once called you noona, always acts like he's the one who's your boyfriend.”

“You're not my boyfriend anymore.” you stepped back, the place too suffocating for you.

“This is exactly why I cheated on you,” he admitted smugly, seeing you pause and stare at him with disbelief. You walked back, grabbing his collar.

“You know what? You're right, he's a million times better than you'll ever be.” your tone was low.

Before he could react, you punched him straight on the jaw, and a slight cut appeared on his cheek as he stumbled back with pain, “And you deserve that.”

You had never been this strongly disgusted with anyone else, tears welling up in your eyes as you sat down and drove back to your place, vision blurry and hands shaky.

It didn't feel real.

You'd admit that Mingyu wasn't that close to you, it was a fairy new relationship of three months but you'd never condone cheating. Adding to it, the false accusations regarding you and Heeseung, that was your breaking point, your blood boiling as you recalled the whole scene from a few minutes back.

With a teary face, you locked the car, getting into the comfort of your home at once, letting out a loud sob as you leaned against the door. You weren't sure if the reason for your crying was because you wasted your time on an asshole or the fact that you could have potentially spent that time with Heeseung instead.

He had warned you.

“Y/n! Open up!” the doorbell rang, Heeseung's voice following the sound.

Weakly standing up, you opened the door for him, his face falling at the sight of you. Red eyes and shaking figure. He wordlessly got in, closing the door and wrapping his arms around you, carrying you towards the couch as you sobbed into his shoulder, his hand caressing your back.

He sat down with you on his lap, “Hey, tell me what's wrong,” his worried voice made you frown, lip quivering as he put his finger under your chin, his Bambi eyes meeting yours.

“Hee—” you took a shaky breath, “I broke up with him.”

His eyes widened, a mini celebration happening inside him but that wasn't the thing that worried him, your crying state was something he had never witnessed before, especially when you were gasping for air so much.

“Shh, it's okay. I came as soon as I saw you from the window. Would you tell me what happened, angel?” the nickname would have made you smile had the situation been different.

“I went to his place, I couldn't be with him anymore, n—not when I liked someone else.” your words made him wonder if you were talking about him, that statement got his hopes up.

“And then he accused me of cheating. It would have been fine, but then he dragged you into this mess and admitted that he cheated just because he fucking thought that I did it,” you ranted, angry tears leaving your eyes.

Heeseung tightened his grip on your waist, “He what?” his voice was awfully low, giving you shivers.

His eyes weren't the usual soft ones, you could see how he was holding back a lot of words but you managed to hear a few faint sentences saying, “Fuck, I'll kill that asshole.”

You held on to him tighter, grabbing his attention, “He's the most stupid man to have ever let go of you I swear,” he whispered, kissing your temple, “Baby,” he made you look at him, your heart fluttering now that you had stopped crying, “You're safe here, I won't let anyone hurt you, yeah?” you nodded slowly, his words wrapping you in a protective blanket of comfort, the kind that only Lee Heeseung could provide.

He didn't leave your side for the whole day, ordered your favourite food and made sure you ate well, you noticed how he was a lot more affectionate, kissing your cheek, similar to how he used to do as kids. You felt shy around him.

The only thing that kept bugging the said boy was that he wanted to know what you meant when you said you liked someone else. He had your favourite food memorized, he made sure to place the order for your favourite chocolates and everything else you would need for your comfort.

You were beyond grateful, although you also wished to tell him that he was the only person you needed, and nothing more. You stare at him as he helps you with your night routine, insisting on applying moisturizer on your face. It's hard to focus on anything else but his breath fanning your face, summoning all the willpower you have to not kiss his pouty lips.

“You're taking care of me as if I'm the baby here,” you teased lightly.

“You've taken care of me your whole life, it's about time you rest and let me take care of you, y/n.” his tone was authoritative, a hint of teasing laced it.

“I see you're a big boy now,” you laughed softly and he came closer.

“Bigger than you think,” he spoke near the shell of your ear, your eyes widening at the sexual undertone, which left as soon as you saw a goofy smile adorning his face. Maybe he didn't mean it that way. You gulped, cheeks heating up as he cupped your cheeks.

“Feel better?”

“Hm, sorry you had to see me like this, Hee,” you smiled sadly.

“Hey, I'm here for you. Always.”

“Will you—” you licked your lips, looking away, “—stay the night? I mean, of course, you don't have to do it but yeah I still wanted to ask for the sake of—” he found your rambling cute, praying that you don't see how blush crept up his neck.

“I will.” he caressed your cheek, “You deserve the whole world,” he cooed at your smiley face, taking in your drowsy appearance.

“Come, let's get you to bed.”

He too settled in, getting his sweatpants and a loose white t-shirt for the night. He was staying with you after all.

“Hee?” you called out his name, the room dark and perfect for you to sleep in, his hand holding yours as your bodies maintained a fair distance for the sake of your sanity.

He hummed at the sound of his name.

“Why don't you call me noona?” your question threw him off guard as you remembered what Mingyu had said. It was true that Heeseung had never addressed you as noona before despite having a solid three years of age gap.

He turned towards you, watching your figure as his eyes adjusted to the dim environment of your room, his body still processing your scent on the pillows and the warmth of your body radiating close to him.

“I don't see you as a noona.” your eyebrows cocked up at that.

“What do you see me as then?” you whispered, asking him the question slowly so as to not disturb the peace in your room.

“Can't tell you just yet,” he mumbled. He wanted to tell you, he just didn't want to pressure you with his feelings right when you got out of a relationship, a relationship which didn't end well. “Why, do you wanna be called noona?”

“No!” you said in a beat.

“Are you sure?” you were sure his eyebrows were wiggling with this question.

“Heeseung—” you started but were pulled into his chest, your back against his chest as you let out a strangled gasp. His grip only got stronger as he whispered near your neck, tickling you in the process, “Sleep, noona.”

Only you knew how grateful you were for the lights being off, preventing the Bambi boy from seeing you smile like a maniac at the name. It wasn't a strange feeling anymore, it being pretty evident that you were crushing on a guy who was younger than you.

And you didn't regret it for a second.

It was afternoon when you woke up, the bed being empty and you wondered where Heeseung had gone, a tiny frown settling on your face.

You wanted to see his face the first thing in the morning.

Regardless, you got up and got yourself cleaned, getting into the shower to get rid of the bitter memories from yesterday. The shower was one of the places where you let your imagination run wild, pondering about a certain Lee Heeseung as you applied your favourite lychee body wash on your loofah, scrubbing your body gently — which again reminded you of how gentle he was while touching your face yesterday, how possessively he held you the whole night, as if you were his favourite soft toy to cuddle.

You wondered if that's what being with him would feel like, that if he'd accept you despite the age gap.

With a sigh, you got out of the shower, opting to wear your comfiest pair of shorts and a t-shirt, striding towards the kitchen to fend for your hungry self, only to find the tall boy making his way into your home, your eyes sparkling at the sight of him.

“Where did you go?” you lamented, and he held up a box of your favourite assorted doughnuts, making you gasp. Although it was the least of your worries when you noticed his bruising knuckles.

“How—” you asked, holding his hand and inspecting the wound, eyes widening at the blood.

He bit his lip, looking elsewhere before replying, “I might have paid a little visit to Mingyu,” you blinked one, and twice, making him sit on the couch and grabbing your first-aid kid from the kitchen, softly cleaning it with cotton and alcohol.

He hissed with pain, “Shh. Relax, baby.” he stilled at the name, gulping down the urge to pull you in his lap and smash his lips onto yours, confessing right after. He successfully refrained from doing so.

You cradled his face in your hands, “You don't need to hurt yourself for me, Hee,” you whispered.

“I'd do it a million times if it means that you'll be okay.” he pulled you in his lap, your hand holding on to his shoulder for support.

“Don't say that,” your voice came out breathy, heart beating out of your chest with how earnest his stare was.

“Why not?” his voice came out equally low, head tilting at the question.

“Because, then I won't be able to stop myself anymore.” your eyes settle on his lips, which were slightly parted.

“Stop yourself—from what?” he asked with a pensive expression, his body being hyper-aware of everything. The scent of your perfume took over his mind, a damn smile curling up his lips as if he had figured out what your answer was.

“From—” you averted your eyes, his finger under your chin making you look into his eyes again, closer than before, the tip of your noses almost brushing.

“From?” he urged softly.

“From kissing you,” you admitted with equal gentleness, cheeks on fire while you waited for him to speak something, anxiety bubbling up in your stomach.

“You don't have to stop.” he spoke after a second of silence.

“What—” your question is answered by his lips being pressed against yours in a feather-light kiss.

You had never been kissed like this before, soft, tender and full of what you'd call ‘love’, his big hand cupping your cheek, caressing it with the pad of his thumb, tilting his head to kiss you deeper, while you held on to his shoulder, pulling him impossibly closer to you.

Your foreheads touch when you finally break apart from your kiss, your eyes boring into his, “So when you talked about liking another guy yesterday—”

“—that was you.” you confirmed, and his smile grew wider, a soft laugh escaping him before he pulled you into his embrace and yet another kiss.

“Fuck, I've wanted you for so long,” he confessed, giggling at your widened eyes.

“How long?” you genuinely asked.

“Ever since you called me Bambi when I was four,” he admitted sheepishly.

“Did you ever think about me being older than you then?” you snuggled deeper into his hold, asking him the question that had bothering you from long.

“It doesn't matter, it never mattered. I just want you, y/n. I tried to get over you when you got a boyfriend but I couldn't, I didn't want to.”

And that's when you knew you wanted him for life.

“I'm sorry you had to wait for so long, baby.”

“You're worth the wait,” he smiled and hid your face in his neck.

He grunts in surprise, feeling your soft brush against his neck, your name leaving his mouth in a manner which sent a shiver down your spine. “Fuck, sorry,” you panicked, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable around you.

“No, oh god no, I want you, y/n.” he spoke, placing a kiss on your temple, “I just, am trying to refrain myself from doing something cause you just came out of a relationship.”

“Hee, you don't have to stop, I'm yours.”

“Yeah? All mine?”

“All yours, baby.” you giggled, shifting to get comfortable as you two lie down, exchanging kisses with giggles and soft smiles.

“This feels like a dream,” he breathed out.

“Does that mean you see me in your dreams often?” you teased.

He huffed, “Of course I do!”

You tilted your head with curiosity, “Oh? What do you dream about?”

He pulled you flesh against his chest, whispering in your ear, “Making love to you.”

With one smile, he ran away with you chasing him, flustered with the sudden revelation. He pinned you against the wall as soon as you entered your bedroom.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“Hey,” you bit your lower lip.

His arm winded around your waist tighter as he softly helped you lie down on your bed, kissing the shell of your ear, “Let me make love to you, noona.”

Oh, you were fucked.

How could you say no to him, especially when he requests for it ever so softy, doe eyes staring into your own eyes, searching for any hint of discomfort or hesitance.

You blink out of your reverie, whispering out a soft yes, gasping when he places the softest kisses on your clavicle, fingers intertwined with yours as he whispers your name, “Tell me if it gets too much for you,” he whispered in the expanse of your skin.

The gentle kisses down your throat to your chest do nothing to stop soft sighs from leaving your mouth. “So pretty,” he had called you pretty a lot of times, but it never once felt like this.

He made you feel pretty.

Each touch felt like a sensation of appreciation towards your body, each kiss delivering unsaid confessions out loud.

His name rolled off your tongue effortlessly, tightening your hold on his fingers, never wanting to let go of him. He gently tugged at the corner of your t-shirt, glancing at you, asking wordlessly and you nod as he helped you up slightly to remove the piece of clothing. He gulped, seeing you bare in front of him, you helpfully removing your bra for him.

“I could stare at you the whole day.”

He worshipped every inch of you, caressing your waist as he started sucking on your tits, back arching with ecstasy, “you sound so pretty, noona,” he rubs his nose against yours, your heartbeat rising as he rubbed your thighs in a gentle caress, squeezing it right after.

You whine, tugging on his t-shirt, and he immediately got rid of it as you pulled him in, lips on his neck while he continued to touch every inch of you.

“Please, Hee—” you whispered, fingers holding on to his nape as you felt wetness pooling in your panties.

He didn't wait for a second to undress you fully, him doing the same as he followed your gaze, your eyes fixated on his torso, wanting to kiss him all over. You rubbed your hands on his faint abs, his hard-on pressing on your inner thighs, “Wanna taste you,” he whispered and you closed your eyes, overwhelmed when his lips touched your wet core, licking your slit while the tip of his nose brushed against your clit, making you squirm around.

He hummed at the taste of you, head spiralling at the sight of you being so vulnerable in front of him, heart full at the sight of your trust in him, he only licked more, pecking your inner thighs and inserting a finger to prep you for him.

“Such sweet noises. You're doing so good, baby.”

His words calmed you, your eyes never leaving his as he looked at you, lips coated with your juices.

“Can't wait more,” you gasped out his name.

“Fuck, I won't last long if you keep calling my name like that,” he got up, and you whined at the loss of contact.

You told him where you kept the condom, him hurriedly getting one and putting it on as you watched the boy fondly despite the heated feeling you had down your core.

He pumped his cock a few times before, he positioned himself in front of you, tip prodding your entrance, coming in contact with your wetness.

“Tell me you want it.” his forehead rested against yours.

“Want you, so much.”

He pulled you in a deep kiss, pushing himself inside, groaning into your mouth at the feeling of your warm walls wrapping around him so well.

You squirm with the stretch, toes curled with how thick he was, adjusting to his size as you wrapped your legs around his torso, asking him to continue.

His thrusts were languid and deep, successful in eliciting breathy moans out of you, swearing that it was the prettiest sound he had ever heard.

“So perfect,” you spoke, nibbling on his lower lip.

The feeling was intimate and something along the lines of what you'd consider as perfect. Soft giggles leaving your mouth as you got lost in the essence of each other, faint touches everywhere, lips red and slightly swollen with your kissing sessions, heart full and warm.

He made you weak in the knees.

His hair bounced as he continued to thrust into you, sloppier than before as he felt his orgasm building up, he knew you were close with how your legs shook slightly, his soft pad of thumb rubbing circles on your clit.

“Hee, I'm close,” you sighed and he kissed your cheek.

“I know, baby. You did so well, cum for me now.” he urged gently, pressing his lips to take in all your moans as you reached your state of euphoria, him twitching a couple of times before he filled up the condom too, embracing you as he stayed inside for a while. Both of you breathing deeply, holding on to each other.

“I love you.”

You opened your eyes, only to see him smiling at you, staring at you with nothing but adoration.

Instead of answering, you asked him a question.

“What did you wish for on the shooting star?” your voice was low.

“You.” his cheeks were red, and you smiled.

You had never been so sure of anything else in life and you had to voice it out. His eyes tearing up at your confession when you said—

“I'm in love with you, Heeseung.”

And you knew you would love him for the entirety of your life.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

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PERMANENT TAGLIST OPEN!

#fic : can't you see me #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #heeseung smut #kpop smut #enha smut #lee heeseung smut #enhypen lee heeseung #lee heeseung x reader #jay smut #jake smut #sunghoon smut #enhypen scenarios #heeseung fanfic

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player1064 · 2 months

Note

Hi! All such great carraville drabbles so far! If you’re still doing them, may I request them coming out publicly and the various reactions of news broadcasters, other ex/current footballers and of course, the internet. Thanks!

aaa thank you!!! and yessss I love fics where it's public reaction to stuff and i LOVE multi-media type fics so this was fun to write (even though i am much too lazy to come up with fake twitter usernames)

---

Group: MU mob

Phillip: forwarded an instagram post by gneville2 Phillip: ???

Gary: what Gary: do u think I was too nice to him in the caption Gary: I can edit it to add something about scousers maybe Gary: or how he never won the league

Phillip: you and Carragher???

Gary: ?

Paul: whyd u make me look at that rot first thing in the morning Paul: put me off my breakfast that did

Ryan: im not installing instagram for this whats he done now

Nicky: ^

Phillip: he’s dating Carragher?????

Ryan: where have u been for the last 2 years its literally all he talks about

Phillip: America! I have been! In! America! Phillip: Gaz I can’t believe you told them and not me?

Paul: I wish he hadnt told us to be fair Paul: they r so annoying

Gary: sorry phil I mustve forgot Gary: timezones etc Gary: gtg we’re having breakfast before he has to head to studio 🥞😍

David: nice post Gary 😊🏳️‍🌈 Happy for you x

Chat: Stevie G

Missed call from Stevie

Stevie: Carra

Missed call from Stevie

Stevie: Jamie Lee Duncan Carragher Stevie: pick up your damn phone Stevie: you are shit at this best friend thing yknow Stevie: also Gary Neville??? Stevie: you were moaning about him when I called you just last week Stevie: but if he makes you happy that’s alright then Stevie: tell him he’s buying me a pint next time I’m home Stevie: in liverpool mind Stevie: don’t care if you love him you won’t see me in pub in manchester

The Daily Mail

LIVERPOOL AND MAN UTD LEGENDS JAMIE CARRAGHER AND GARY NEVILLE REVEAL GAY RELATIONSHIP?

Former rivals turned co-pundits posted Valentine’s day messages on their Instagram accounts which appear to show an intimate relationship between the two men, who were both married to women for over ten years. Neither has responded for comment.

Comments:

> they’re the worst pundits on sky anyway they don’t even try to hide the bias for their teams

> gary neville’s always trying to bring politics into everything rishi was right he should stick to football!

> well I will be getting my commentary from MOTD moving forward. wish I could cancel sky sports but can’t afford to miss all the match coverage so they will be getting a strongly worded letter from me instead.

The Guardian

OPINION: IT’S 2024. WHY HAS THE FOOTBALL WORLD NOT CAUGHT UP?

There are still no openly gay players in the top tier of the men’s game. Now that two retired premier league footballers have come out, we have to ask: why is this headline news?

Both Liverpool and Manchester United football clubs have posted messages in support of Neville & Carragher, and so have many current and former players. But it begs the question why they thought that support might not be implicit, or why the two pundits had to publicly “come out” at all.

Comments:

> tbh I didn’t even know who they were until I saw Beckham’s ig story 💀

> surprised Gerrard’s not said anything, thought he and Carragher were mates >>> probably can’t if he wants to keep his manager contract $$$

> the guardian: why is the media making a fuss about two ex-footballers coming out? the guardian: is part of the media making a fuss about two ex-footballers coming out…

Twitter

Sports - Trending Gary Neville 264k tweets

Jamie Carragher 151k tweets

@.1111 they’ve been obsessed with each other for years is anyone really surprised

@.222 ngl I thought Gary Neville was already out as gay? You’re telling me people have believed he’s straight this whole time??

@.333 it’s giving slow burn enemies to lovers 150k words…

@.444 sky already wheels the two of them out together whenever they need to promote ANYTHING I bet it’s gonna get 10x worse now

Chat: J ❤️

G 👹👸: good luck on show tonight G 👹👸: no vday dinner :( G 👹👸: I shall have to waste away and pine instead G 👹👸: drown my sorrows etc

J ❤️: should be back to hotel by 1 at the latest J ❤️: I know that’s past ur bedtime old man so don’t wait up

G 👹👸: I will be up (😉😉) and ready to give you your dessert 😘 G 👹👸: might have a cheeky nap before though to be fair

#sorry to stevie g for being slightly mean to him in this but well. i dont approve of his recent career choices <3 #thanks for the prompt!!! i really really enjoyed writing all the text messages daskjsghfdg #carraville #drabbles #place ur bets now did gary successfully wake from his nap on time to greet jamie or did he fall asleep immediately

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itsbenedict · 4 months

Text

Games I Played In 2023 And Whether Or Not I Thought They Were Good (Part 1/4)

Once again, a year has passed, and I spent a considerable chunk of it on video games! Here's what I thought about [e: some of] the ones that I played.

1 - [2] - [3] - [4]

Potionomics

This game is- well, I've never played a Recettear game, but apparently it's a Recettear knockoff? You run a potion shop, and you hire adventurers to go into dungeons to get ingredients for your potion shop, and the whole thing's on a timer where you have to pay off a big debt by the end... apparently there's a formula it's aping that I'm unfamiliar with.

But it's very fun- it's got two main unique mechanics, one of which is a potion-brewing minigame about balancing ingredients in certain ratios which is challenging- and the other of which is an STS-style deckbuilder card game where you haggle with customers in lieu of combat. Both systems have a lot of depth and interesting options and I enjoyed them a lot.

Other standouts: the cast of support characters you can rank up social links with are great (love love love the coffee-addled workaholic moth girl and the comic relief cat pirates with a surprisingly dark backstory), and the fully-animated 3D character portraits are really fun and expressive.

Nitpicks: the time system having one time block reserved for the hour it takes to go home after visiting town is... an awkward choice (holdover from the Recettear structure they're aping?), and lategame you kind of cap out in potion-making capacity and it becomes kind of tricky to progress. Also the story's kinda predictable and the villains who don't later become party members are paper-thin.

Horizon: Forbidden West

God this game pisses me off.

Horizon: Zero Dawn, its predecessor, was a fun open-world game about hunting robot dinosaurs and uncovering the surprisingly elaborate story behind why there are robot dinosaurs. I enjoyed it a lot!

Forbidden West has everything Zero Dawn had... and also mountains of tedious cruft to pad out the game's runtime which all infuriates me to no end.

The story is still quite good! And the robot dinosaur fighting is still quite good! Those are the important parts, and they nailed them... but I have complained at my friends for hours about the bafflingly bad design choices that plague every other aspect of this game constantly. It's... there's so much, I want to like, make a video going into the details, but in short...

The cool and versatile weapons from the last game have been split up into piles of slightly-different weapons with different elements so you have to carry around and upgrade ten times as much crap and are forced to spec into a build that locks you out of effective experimentation

Every little noncombat action in the game has some very realistic and pretty AAA graphics animation that takes too long and wastes your time constantly during basic gameplay and kills flow dead

The very cool procedural climbing mesh thing... gets arbitrarily turned off in inexplicably oiled-up puzzle ruins that very badly want you to push a crate around in every way it's possible to push a crate around in order to waste the maximum amount of your time

Cooking "system" which is the most comprehensively useless thing anyone probably spent dozens of hours implementing in their video game

Item wheel that contains every consumable item in the game regardless of whether you currently have any and is basically unnavigable during tense situations like, say, combat, when you need it

So many repetitive sidequests about some poor fucker who went missing and might be in danger and is every single time dead to a bunch of robot dinosaurs obviously. Lot of missions designed to kill time rather than show you something cool or have interesting story.

There's a lot to like and it's super cool but god there's so much to be mad at. Respects the player's time 0%. I'm gonna go off about this more later for sure.

Disco Elysium

Oh my god, this game. It's... really something. You might be familiar with it from memes on Tumblr, about its comically inept slash deranged protagonist and his partner with the patience of a saint- but it's doing so much more than I expected from the out-of-context screencaps.

Like- yes, it's fucking hilarious. I love that about it. But it's also this incredibly detailed work of worldbuilding that creates this whole setting that's doing... some wild stuff. Like, you've maybe heard it's very political? Well, it is, but about weird alternate universe sci-fi politics that sort of halfway resemble our own, and it's thought through all of these invented social dynamics. And it's got a great sense of atmosphere- it knows when to be funny and when to be solemn and how to blend the two for maximum effect. It's a dark comedy, but it's all built on a dead-serious reality and a really effective story.

And- it is a murder mystery game about solving cases! It works very well on that level! It manages to be open-ended and let you solve things in a variety of different ways using this complex RPG stat system of creatively-designed psychological stats, while making sure the central whodunit (and a bevy of fascinating satellite mysteries) stays on track. Extremely good on a game design level.

(also some shit happens in this game that i was not at all expecting and can't even go into without spoilers, but- but holy fuck, the way this game opens up and the things it manages to hide in plain sight... just mind-boggling. incredibly impressive.)

Tunic

Speaking of hiding things in plain sight- neither this nor Disco Elysium came out this year, so I can't call either of them GotY, but... if they had, I'd have a hard time deciding.

Tunic is incredibly clever. On the surface, it's an isometric soulslike thing with a low-poly Zelda-y aesthetic... but there's not just the surface. There's layers and layers to this thing. The first layer it hits you with is that most of the game's UI is in a made-up rune script, which you have to learn, which is a fun challenge and caused me to spend a few hours making a tool to catalogue and decrypt the damn thing- though I eventually learned to sight-read it. But that's just- that's like, the tip of the iceberg, the most obvious twist to what this game is.

There's, like... I don't want to spoil what there's like. The whole thing is about peeling back the layers and figuring out which seemingly arbitrary aesthetic choices were secretly meaningful, and seeing how the game transforms as you figure out the different sorts of secret structure layered on top of each other. It's actually best compared to The Witness, although there's still a pretty meaty and challenging action-adventure game to tackle while you're uncovering the hidden patterns and deepest lore. It's a fascinating intellectual challenge and highly recommended to anyone who likes giving their noggin something to chew on.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Man, so... this game is very impressive, but it's in a weird place due to some awkward design decisions and cut corners.

This is a direct sequel to smash megahit Breath of the Wild... sort of. It's very weird what it's doing. It really wants to be a self-contained thing, to the point of throwing out major setting elements and story concepts from BotW entirely so it can do its own thing... but on a mechanical level, this is the same game, with some very cool new mechanics and a cool-ish new story bolted on.

(Said story... it has one extremely cool plot twist that's also a gameplay twist, delivered effectively in a nonlinear way that creates this great sense of dawning comprehension. Otherwise... kind of a nothingburger. Ganondorf is boring and has no coherent motivation, there's no explanation or real plot relevance to the [spoilers] that seem like such a central thing, and... the whole thing revolves around a technologically advanced precursor civilization that's completely different from the technologically advanced precursor civilization established by the last game, of which all evidence has been meticulously scrubbed from the world to... I guess avoid confusion? The one huge central plot beat really works, and the rest is... low-effort nonsense.)

So, mechanically... the developers made this very odd choice to... have the game take place in the exact same map from the first game, except warped and remixed by geologic upheaval just enough to force the environment designers to redo every bit of landscape more or less from scratch. Like, all the same recognizable locations, but a step to the left. In theory, not a bad idea- but then they layer on top of that a threefold expansion to the world.

TotK has three world maps- Hyrule, the sky (full of floating islands now), and a third spoilery area that's the same size as both of those. The game's economy is thus weirdly trifurcated- crucial resources are located in all three areas, so you need to go up and down and up and down a lot. And so is the game's content- there's a roughly comparable amount of stuff in BotW and TotK, but TotK splits it across three maps, making each area feel largely empty, with a lot of wasted space.

This effect is especially noticeable in Hyrule, which... if you've played BotW, you won't really find anything new there. It's all the same places with a few tweaks, so there's not much sense of discovery if you played the original. There's a bunch of landmarks and areas that exist purely because they were there before and it'd be weird for them to disappear... except now instead of some secret or loot there, there's just nothing. Wasted space. And both the sky and the other new map are pretty homogeneous and unrewarding to explore once you've seen the four or five types of things they have to offer- they're mainly made up of recycled assets.

TotK is... I think strictly better than BotW, with more content and more fun core mechanics, but it's a worse experience than BotW if you played the first one. If you haven't played BotW, Hyrule will still be fun to explore, and you probably want to jump straight to TotK.

I'm... gonna have to break this post up to get to the 21 other games I played this year, otherwise it's gonna be stupid long and take forever. Stay tuned!

1 - [2] - [3] - [4]

#game rec #tunic #disco elysium #potionomics #totk #horizon forbidden west

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eggtartz · 1 year

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Hi! Can you do a Rindou x soulmate reader, a soulmate AU where the reader has a brother who's in a gang and she's really protective of her brother just like how Nezuko is so protective of Tanjiro, so her brother is getting beaten down in a fight and so the reader beats up the guy who was beating down her brother, just like how Nezuko beat daki up wit NO MERCY, she did the same😬 and literally just stood there with a disgusted face and broke the guys leg by her feet, just the same way Nezuko did to Daki.

And because of the tattoo that the reader has on their arm, Rindou recognized the tattoo since both of you guys are soulmates and have the same tattoo so her recognized it and knew that you were his soulmate. The reader is so protective of her brother and has the strength of Nezuko also the reader is

✨ DROP DEAD GORGEOUS ✨

a/n : is this what im seeing or someone finally requested me to write? HELLO ANON THANKYOU FOR THE REQUEST AAA *eats fist* i did a brainstorm on the concept of soulmates i hope you'll like this 🫶🏻💕

"The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break."

wc : 2152

you and your brother have been together since you were so young, him being seven while you were just ten. your whole family got into a car crash leaving only two of you to survive in the cruel world. watching your brother grow, the protective side came with an instinct and even though now both of have grown up you were still protective over him.

"onee-san i'll be back late tomorrow. gang stuff" he said while munching on his chocolate bread that you made for him. you worriedly glanced at him and he understood that look very well. "c'mon onee-san, i'll be back before dinner. don't worry too much" he ate the leftover icing on his fingers and went to wash his hands on the sink. without turning your body, you spoke.

"ikeru. what if you get beaten up so bad huh? you got beaten up so bad that you can't even come back home, not coming home to me. is that what you want? i've been letting you do this shady gang stuff for some time, don't you think you should stop?" your tone was worrying and ikeru see no lies from your words. he will get beaten up at a daily basis, the only difference is either his knuckles are going to bloody from his blood or the opponents blood.

"fine nee-san. if it would make you feel better, i'll quit the gang and find a job. would that make you feel better?" he placed his chin on your head and felt your nodding. "so let this be the last time you're doing gang stuff okay? promise me you'll come back as soon as you say quits" you raised your red-tattoed pinky and locked his pinky finger with yours.

except that, he broke the promise.

that day, your brother didn't came back home. you tried to stay rational and thought his friends might've offered him booze but you know him. he would always update on his conditions to you. you tried calling him, messaging him. you knew little about his gang business but you did find their where their hideout is. "listen here little shit, i don't have time and the food for dinner is getting cold. i'll ask you one more time, where the hell is ikeru?" your gaze was cold, unfazed as the so called gang member was trembling under your threat.

"ikeru went out miss. i don't know exactly where but they did said they wanted to stay at the new bar down street" he said while stuttering a lot, your knife still on his throat. you released a heavy sigh and said thank you under your breath and dashed out. it's okay, you assured yourself. he might forgot to tell you, he's probably having a great time. just check on him and then leave, you said to calm yourself down. walking down the street, you saw a familiar bike you confirmed that was your brother's bike. however there was no sight of him. infact there was no sight of anyone at all.

you saw the bar the kid mention but there were too many people. too many, it looked like a crowd. crowd.. people.. the crowd was noisy as there was a fight on the center of the bar floor. standing on your toes, to your horror you saw your brother, ikeru on the floor all bloody while getting punched continuously while he remained unconscious and not moving. letting your body move based on adrenaline, you jumped on the bigger man's back and tried scratching him.

"oi what the hell?!" he easily threw your body across the room and your head knocked one of the chairs. standing up, you hissed but saw a bottle of beer on the counter, took it and ran at the man full speed then smashed his head with it. the glass shattered and the crowd grew wilder as if this was a show but you didn't care. all care thrown out the window, you approached your brother and checked his breathing. it was ragged, uneven but he was breathing. you held his bloody face near to your neck and silently sobbed.

you felt like a failure, no, you were a failure. what kind of sister just let's their little brother do this? you swore that all your life you would protect his life but here he is, almost at the verge at death and you wondered if only he wasn't a gang member would he be in the same situation now.

"onee-san?"

"yes ikeru?"

"run, onee-san. the guys are bigger than you, they'll kill you. run onee-san, my boss is coming please don't worry" he whispered againts the shell of your ear. you were fuming, furious. inhaling another breath, you said to him "don't worry they can't kill me if i kill them first" then you dragged his body to the nearest chair and sat him on top of it. "onee-san stop, please they'll kill you" he tried grabbing your wrist to stop you but his grip got weaker. ikeru's vision was blurry and he passed out.

meanwhile you, adrenaline pumped in your veins you took a wooden stool and knock one of the gang rivals with it. you recognized your brother's gang by the uniform so you could differentiate them. swinging a punch, the man fell down startled and off guard you took the knife you had and plunged his shoulder. looking him straight in the eye, you twisted the knife and deepened the wound.

the other men stopped what they were doing as they heard the screams of their man getting tortured by a woman half his size. you stand up only to get tackled down but you managed to kick his groin, grounded your knees on the floor and twisted his head with a headlock ikeru taught you while watching mma matches in television. ikeru's member started scooting away as the man averted their attention to you. "now, now girl. you might wanna calm down okay? knife's a dangerous weapon dont'cha think?" one of them said.

"shut the fuck up if you don't want my foot down your throat" you said before running towards one of them, climbed their back and bit his ears. they panicked a lot and tried to grabbed you but using your sweater sleeve you tied one their hands into the man's head making all of them lose their balance and collectively fell. you jumped from his back successfully landing on the ground.

one of them lunge towards you but you dodged him and knocked his nose as hard as you could making him coughing out blood. the crowd wasn't rowdy anymore as they watched the bloody murder you were doing. the rampage of yours didn't seem to stop because the guys kept standing up. the more they tried to stand, the more damaging your attacks were. you didn't had any ounce of mercy.

the guy that earlier was smashing ikeru's face tried to crawl away but you saw him "oh you're not going anywhere. come back!" you dragged his left leg back to the center of the bar floor. you lifted his left calf and stepped on his thigh, breaking his kneecaps. he wailed in pain and as you were going to do the same to the next leg, you felt a shiver down your spine.

"yikes, sweetie you did this by yourself?" a braided hair man asked you while coming through the crowd. the still conscious ikeru's members tried to bow down but some of them fell down as they grow weaker.

"my, oh, look at that. hello keizo is your leg okay? didn't i told you specifically not to barge in this area of ours hm~?" the braided man asked him while he was wailing in pain. you kept experiencing this shivering but you shrugged it for now. the braided man finally looked at you "hm, you might need to go to the hospital love. you're injured" you stepped away from him only up now to realize there was someone else behind him. he wore a black shirt, glasses and had blue and yellow highlights. he was gorgeous and you couldn't stop staring at him. he did the same too, unable to tear his gaze away.

"rinnie could you tell them to clean this up? we have to bring this girl to the hospital" getting a tch as a respond, he inspected all the injuries and observed the damage you did. on the men and on the facility. "im sorry" you said impulsively, and he looked at you confused.

the crowd was already dismissed as silence developed between the two of you. this was strange, you met this man two seconds ago and you felt a huge relief washing over you. you shouldn't even feel better when he's here, he might be a greater threat but you felt the opposite with him. it was like you felt comfortable with him, safe with him.

"it's okay, uh. your name?" his voice did wonders to you. it felt soothing and you actually wanted to step closer to him so you could hear his voice again but this time closer. "i uh y/n"

"okay y/n, im rindou haitani. could you tell me what just happened because the guy almost got killed"

"my brother" you walked to ikeru's cold body and saw the blood on his face started to dry up, making it smell foul. rindou scrunched his nose and tried lifting him up before gesturing you to follow him. "uh hey you think you could ride? you guys need like immediate medical help and using the car, you know. there's traffic and that" he kept averting his eyes somewhere else while talking to you and stuttered a lot. "oh yeah my brother's bike is here so i can go to the hospital myself"

"oh, where's the keys?" he said while one of his gang members reached ikeru's shoulder and took him away. you snatched the keys from ikeru's pocket earlier and you handed it to rindou. you were too exhausted to ride the bike anyway and you felt like you could trust rindou. strangely.

"okay if you feel like falling asleep just hug me so you won't fall" he said while reviving the engine. you did what he said and arrived at the hospital and almost immediately got into an emergency ward. your brother's bed was beside yours although you might discharge earlier as your injuries wasn't too bad. the sight of your brother being connected with so many wires scared you, it was like the time of the car crash where you thought he would leave you. your daydreaming snapped as you heard a soft click on the door and saw rindou with some flowers.

"oh hi. i thought you were asleep. here, uh some flowers and food. i don't know what you like so i bought a few types of- wait why are you crying?" rindou stopped his rambling and placed the items in his hand on the table so he could swipe your tears away. he was worried for me, he's so cute, you thought.

"it's just, i love my brother so much i really thought i lost him" he held your hand and in a trance you two could speak only with your eyes. you desperately closed the gap between the two of you and cried more on his chest. after a while your hiccups was disappearing slowly and your grip on his shirt too had loosened. he laid you back so you could rest while he studied your face.

people would be terrified if their first meeting was with yours, your eyes were bloodshot, knuckles bloody, lip busted and sweater dirty but you looked magnificent is his eyes. your black hair, perfect eye shape, nose, lips hell you had no flaw. rindou was the one who wanted to see the new club, his gut telling him that there was something, someone there. then, he met you and he was correct. the moment he saw you, he fell. hard.

he rubbed his thumb over your bandaged knuckles and kissed the pinky finger with the tattoo on it. rindou wasn't a man of superstition or any sort but he does feel that you were truly his. the same red matching tattoo on his pinky said it.

he only realized you had the same tattoo while you entered the doctor's room for an examination. he didn't believed in fate but he genuinely thinks that you're his soulmate. his other half. the only one for him.

he kissed your forehead to leave so you could rest but you held his tattooed pinky. "stay with me" you softly said. rindou smiled and climbed the bed with you and you instantly snuggled in his arm. you felt safe, he felt complete. you both were truly soulmates.

a/n : this might be the longest fic i've ever wrote i got really indulged

#tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo rev x y/n #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x yn #fluff #rindou haitani #haitani rindou x reader #rindou x y/n #tokyo revengers rindou #rindou x reader #tokrev rindou #rindou fluff #haitani rindou imagines #haitani fluff #haitani x reader #tokyo rev fluff #rindou tokyo revengers

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wolfpup026 · 16 days

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boops your nose send this to ten blogs you think are lovely and deserve a boop on the nose <3 <3

Aaa thank you! I saw you missed april 1st on tumblr so here's a special boop for you <3

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casdeans-pie · 5 months

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Fanfiction Q&A

Tagged by @thepagemistress thanks so much for the tag!! I love stuff like this asdfghjkl

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

311,091

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Supernatural because it's my most recent fandom and I have extreme destiel related brainworms - but I do also still write Izuocha/My Hero Academia stories from time to time. I've officially 'left the fandom' but I find the ship cosy to write, so they're easy to come back to every so often. I would really like to get back into writing for Genshin too at some point! There are so many characters and their personalities are all so barely defined that it's a lot of fun to shake the grab bag of them and play around with ships and tropes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ahh they're all MHA. I wrote them at kind of the emergence of the MHA fic scene though. So it was just good timing. It's crazy that they've remained my most popular fics even this many years later wow.

Also fun fact, the two ships here had fandoms that actively hated each other because Ochako is in both of them. I was living my best multi shipping life.

Also also, the jump in number between #1 and #2 is wild. BBB is a fandom experience I will treasure forever.

#1 Beep Beep Beep - Izuocha / My Hero Academia - 2,245

#2 Saw This. Thought of You - Izuocha / My Hero Academia - 787

#3 Ceiling Scorch Marks - Kacchako / My Hero Academia - 675

#4 Green's Your Colour - Izuocha / My Hero Academia - 582

#5 Sweaty Palms - Kacchako / My Hero Academia - 544

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Heck yeah!! It may take me anywhere between a day and a month, but I will always reply at some point. I like to repay the kindness of leaving a comment with acknowledgement <3 even if all I can manage back is a keyboard smash and a thank you

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, easily easily Don't Stop Dreaming (Izuocha/MHA) I cackle like a classic disney villain every time someone leaves a comment about how they didn't notice the main character death tag and the ending broke them. Did I put it in the middle of the tags simply to make missing it easier? maybe so.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Okay this one is hard. Because 99% of my fics are fluff. They pretty much all have a happy ending lmaoooo

The cheesiest happy ending might have to go to Cat Thief (Reddie/IT) though - that whole fic I tried to capture the vibe of a cheesy Hallmark movie and then for the ending I really dialled it up to ten. Cavity inducing honestly aaa

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't think so??? I've had the odd piece of criticism here and there, which makes me like >:( because I didn't ask for crit and I'm doing all this for freeeee

But otherwise, nope <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not anything I've ever published (because it's not very good asdfghjkl) It's honestly very vanilla and mostly about the ooey gooey feelings more than the smut itself, so I don't know whether it would really appeal?

Either way any smut I ever decide to post on AO3 would have to be anonymously. Too many people I know in real life know my Izupie username and just the thought of one of them googling me one day and finding my AO3 is bad enough even without any smut fics being on there RIP

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Hmm, not really crossovers? I write AU's of other worlds - like, I wouldn't write the cast of IT meeting the characters of Soul Eater, but I wrote the characters of IT in the world of Soul Eater. Does that make sense??

Two birds with stone because Dances of the Souls (Reddie/IT/Soul Eater) is also the craziest 'crossover' I've ever written. I saw some fanart and got inspired, and to this day I can't believe I wrote like 10k words of that.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I did !! Many manyyy years ago. Someone sent me a message to say that they'd noticed somebody had reposted one of my fics but just changed the characters. Can't even remember what fandom they'd made it for.... They'd stolen a whole bunch of Izuocha fics and just changed the names! So a few affected Izuocha writers including myself sent them messages asking them to take the stolen fics down and within a few hours their whole profile had been deleted.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No!! But I would LOVE that !! Anyone who ever wants to translate any of my fics, please know the answer will be yes!!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I'm the process of that actually with Seal My Heart (Izuocha/MHA)!! It's been such a fun process but I feel so bad because I'm really bad at procrastinating and getting distracted by working on multiple things at once and I don't have a whole lot of free time, so I am probably the worst collab partner you could have!!! (sorry!!!!)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I usually change this answer based on my current fandom tbh! Right now I can't imagine any ship affecting my brain in quite the same way as Destiel.

I think it's the ALMOST of it that has given me infinite brainworms and hurts my soul. And they have just the most delicious dynamic. They're best friends. They're fighting. They're soft. They're gonna burn the whole world for each other. They're wearing silly cowboy hats. etc etc

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I wish I had it in me to write part 2 of Barks (Reddie/IT). I had this whole extra plot with all these conspiracies and saving the town and ultimately wanted to end it with Eddie getting turned into a werewolf too, but it had already gone on to nearly 100k words and I just wanted to write other things asdfkl

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmm.... I would say maybe the way that I create a mood? I like to really appeal to all the senses when I write to kind of make you feel like you're there in the scene. Changing my writing style to add to the atmosphere is also something I think I do quite well? Like short choppy sentences for tension etc etc.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. Dialogue all day. If everyone could just, not speak? That would be great. I really struggle to capture characters specific voices.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic.

I can't say I've ever given it much thought... I think it would be okay as long as you're VERY sure that it's correct.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ahh that would be my Yu-Gi-Oh self insert fanfiction all hand written in a little notebook that I wrote as a child :') I wrote me and a friend into so many adventures with the Yu-Gi-Oh characters. It's extremely cute.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Beep Beep Beep without a doubt. I had so so so much fun with it. I have a whole notebook filled with plans and notes about each character (even the ones that appear for small scenes or are only mentioned!) and I just had a blast the whole time coming up with what cameos I could insert and little references I could scatter around. I had backstories planned out that didn't even make it into the fic but helped inform how this universe had changed the characters from their canon counterparts.

Updating it and having people anticipating the updates was such a buzz I can't even explain. I would get messages about it, some very kind artists drew fanart of it! The whole experience was all I had ever wanted as a fanfic writer. I loved every moment.

On a more recent note - I haven't written anything as self indulgent as Flicker, Fizzle, Pop (Destiel/Supernatural) for a long long time and I LOVE that for me. I had soooo much fun! And I was so excited to update it because I had so many people excited to read it! Very very fond of this fic <3

Phew that went on for longer than I expected - turns out I can ramble about my own writing for a long time, who knew right???? asdfghjkl;

Tagging some writers! @encyclopika @amynchan @citrinediamondeyes @velvethopewrites @loserchildhotpants @king4aday @fivefeetfangirl @jemariel @microsuedemouse No pressure though! (I'm just curious about your answers hehehe) But also if you see this and you're not tagged and wanna do it anyway - do eeeeet!!

#thanks again for the tag!!#I have sooooo much fun with these aaaaa #fanfiction tag games #it's Izupie btw for anyone that I tag with this blog who doesn't know this is my side account lmao

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dnallohleoj · 7 months

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So there was a post that was shared a couple days back talking about how People are talking about Godot and completely ignoring Unreal and that the reason for that was because Unreal could easily decide to do the same thing in the future if Unity makes good money off it, even if they implode afterwards.

I apparently didn't bookmark it because I was gonna reply to them directly but now I can't find it so... of course that's how it go. But anyway, while I can't say this with 100% confidence, I don't think we have to worry about Unreal following suit, and citing that as the reason Unity devs specifically are switching to Godot feels like a complete misread of the room to me.

Unity supporters always preferred it to Unreal because of how lightweight it is out of the box, and because it supported more than one programming language. In the same way Unreal makes it easy for an artist with little programming knowledge to jump in and start making a game, Unity allowed Programmers with little artistic sense to jump in and start in a way that Unreal actively gets in the way of.

Also, In order to make a game in Unreal for low target hardware, there are a million settings and features you have to go in and turn down or shut off completely, and if you want it to run on a Windows XP-era laptop, you'd basically need to rewrite the shaders in the source code. Unity's the engine you used if you want to be able to show Grandma what you do for a living. Grandma will basically never be able to run an Unreal game. Incidentally, Unreal also requires more of the computer running it, so it requires a much larger hardware investment upfront.

At the moment, Godot is as lightweight as Unity was, even if that's partially because it's missing a ton of features due to how new the engine is. THAT's why there's such a conversation surrounding Unity to Godot. Anyone who needed Unreal is already using Unreal, and existing Unreal devs aren't exactly affected by something Unity's doing.

COULD Unreal decide to copy the Unity per-download model down the line? Yes, and there'd be little any indie dev could do to stop it. But that's the thing - People love to say Epic got as big as they did due to Fortnite, and that may be partially true, but realistically, Epic Games gets a cut of the sales from nearly every AAA bestseller from the past decade, and increasingly, that includes foreign games. Do you really think all those major corporations, many of whom still also own and maintain in-house engines, would hesitate to drop Epic if they decided they were going to implement a similar per-install fee? You think it's bad for the indie who sold tens of thousands of copies and earned $200K? How do you think the Square Enixes and the RGGs and the Respawns and the BioWares who sell tens of millions and clear $200M+ are gonna feel seeing that $2M+ fee get tacked on when Epic's already getting 5% of every sale? No, it's not gonna affect their bottom line as much, but at that level, they HATE paying other people! Just on principle!

AAA studios would also collectively have the power to say, "yeah, we're not paying that for games made before that went into place" and Epic absolutely could not afford to take each and every one of them to court.

Again, could still happen, would still be devastating for the indies affected, Wouldn't even put it past Epic to implement a different policy for its existing corporate partners, I'm just saying, I have my doubts.

And that's also in part because Unreal's royalty model is less hostile than Unity's to begin with. As far as I can tell, Unity expects you to upgrade to their pro plan when your game makes $100K, which is currently $2.5K-4.5K/yr, on top of the per-install fee. A clean royalty would have been less painful. Unreal, on the other hand, doesn't start collecting their 5% royalty fee until after your game's made $1M, and I've seen estimates saying the runtime fee could amount to a 15% royalty, all said and done. Again, all subject to change at the whims of people who don't care about us in the slightest, but Unity has been making itself more expensive to use for mid-budget games over the past few years anyway. Unreal has not followed suit.

I cannot stress enough here, I do not believe Epic is on your side. There's just a LOT of additional factors to consider which makes the likelihood of them copying Unity's ill-advised fee seem pretty slim.

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girlprotag · 8 months

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RULES: Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that come up, then tag ten other people

tagged by my sweet sweet oomfie pas @warriorfujoshi

Funeral Grey - Waterparks

You Missed My Heart - Phoebe Bridgers

Climax Jump - AAA DEN-O Form (this is so embarrassing pascal how did we both shuffle into climax jump as our third song)

Airy Me - Cuushe

Boohoo Baby - Snaggletooth

I Don't Want It At All - Kim Petras

Concept 11 - Kodomo

Beaches - Diva Bleach

Be Good - Pom Pom Squad

Permission - Sucre

i tag @shyfather @pierroticism @loveimp @tbmona @eremes @sqydliminal @lame-kid-on-couch @starhalation @blookisses @plastidecor & YOU, THE GIRL (gender neutral) READING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#taggy games

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sheepcoco · 1 year

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is my first time writing in english jaksuja, anyways ...

sorry if i misspelled some words, it is proofread, i read it like 89283938 times, it took 4 hours to finish no kidding........but, still, i'm sorry in advance aaa

SORRY, LAST ADVICE THE READER IS GENDER NEUTRAAAAAL (but still, sorry if it gives the wrong idea in some parts), there, done.

(if someone reads this story, thank u<3)

く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡✧⁠*⁠。

Just like heaven.

Castiel always knew, deep down, that the love he felt for you was slightly different than the kind of love he felt for Sam and Dean. There was an adrenaline rush when he was with you or his heart was like a person in a marathon when Sam and Dean mentioned you.

If you were feeling sad, he felt worse; he hated to see you hurt. He would do everything, even if it was beyond his capabilities, to make you smile. It could be something simple, like that time you mentioned how much you missed a certain food you ate a long time ago on one of your trips, and suddenly you all hear the sound of wings and clothes fluttering.

Before either of you could ask "where did cas go?", he showed up as quickly as he left, with the exact plate of food you mentioned. It was half eaten and he had to admit that he stole it from a woman while she was in the bathroom.

When you asked for an explanation, he replied: "I-...I don't know. I just wanted to do this for you."

Or that one time he healed you ten times in a day, almost passing out on the eighth time because vampires kept appearing out of nowhere, and even when he was half dead he wanted to stay by your side on that hunt. "In case you get hurt", he insisted, grabbing your shoulder as if his life depended on it so he wouldn't fall unconscious on the ground.

That night you had to carry his unconscious body to your car and to your motel room. He had to sleep forty-eight hours to recharge his energy.

You didn't plan to stay for two more days in that town, so you had to improvise to earn more money.

The attention he gave you was overwhelming to anyone but you. You always found it cute. You didn't think he was doing it with double intent, the idea that castiel might be romantically attracted to you seemed impossible, so you dismissed that thought saying: "he's doing his best to show me that he cares."

Even when everyone told you how oblivious you were.

You fell in love with him the first time you met him, even though he knocked you out with the touch of his fingers on your forehead. So, the affection he began to show you when he rebelled against heaven was welcoming, even if it was "too much".

It was never too much for you. It was never enough.

He clung to you like gum when all angels fell from heaven and he became human.

He began to feel, to hurt, and you were there for him. You never left him. For god's sake, you shook the earth and its realities to find him when Dean told you the news.

You didn't want to leave Sam and Dean alone in the hospital, but Castiel was human now, and he was alone too, but surprisingly, Dean let you go find him, calling once in a while, obviously.

You both shared the same worry for Castiel, so he felt a bit of relief when you left in order to find him.

"Wait for me in a motel while I get there!" was the only thing you said through Dean's cellphone before running out of the hospital.

He smiled for the second time that day when he heard your voice, but that time, his happiness felt more strong and passionate than ever. Like fire inside his chest, in a good way.

And even if you didn't hear him, as you were long gone, driving rapidly to his location, he muttered: "I'll wait for you." with the biggest smile his face ever had.

Dean didn't comment on the matter, as he was too worried for Sam's health at that time.

It did not matter all the obstacles, all the angels and monsters you had to fight in order to find him. It took you a while, given that he had to constantly hide and earn money to call you via public telephone. But when he did, he would cry for hours.

It was the first time he felt so alone, cold, hungry, empty. You were the only good thing in his life at the time, the only thing that kept him going.

The only thing that prevented him from kissing that woman. He thought of you, how'd you feel if you found out, how he didn't really want to kiss her, because you weren't her.

So, when you found him, alongside Dean and Sam (whom you reunited with midst your travel), lying on a couch with a blade in his chest, you felt your world shake and start to fall apart.

You don't really remember that moment, because it's too traumatic (along with other times he died). But you do remember when Dean told you about the angel Ezekiel possessing Sam, since Sam healed Cas right in front of you.

There were good and bad moments, mostly bad and horrific, but it all felt meaningless when you two were together. When Dean told Cas he couldn't live with them, you followed with him, you rented an apartment and worked together.

You even babysit together. And he still has that picture of you holding the baby as his wallpaper.

You remember that day. You told him he should go out in a date with the woman that asked him out at work, that he deserves it, even if it hurt you a little bit, but as long as he was happy you were happy, thrilled even.

But unfortunately, the woman only used him as his babysitter, so he called you.

You felt bad for him, really. You had reached a level of maturity and love that allowed you to say with confidence that, if Castiel ever fell in love with someone other than you, your heart would be so big that you would love that person too.

He never felt happier. Seeing you cook for him and smile at him as if he wasn't the one at fault for causing the angels fall from heaven.

You never complained about it, you never blamed him.

He never cared about dying, as long as you were safe and he could remember you smiling at him on the verge of death.

Being a human sure was complex and difficult at times, but you made being human something beautiful, because being able to love you was a privilege.

One night, when he saw your sleeping figure beside him, he thought: «If regaining my grace means I can't keep falling in love with you then I don't want it back, ever.»

It was the first time he admitted he loved you.

He didn't care what he was, angel, human, it didn't matter as long as he was by your side.

And he a hundred percent would have rejected his grace if it wasn't because he was dying in that moment, and he couldn't bear the thought of leaving you. But when he got it back, and was safe of danger, he thought of you, making sure he still felt that strong love for you, and when he did, he smiled, even if Metatron was now on the loose.

In the end, it was always you and him. He saved Dean from hell and you saved him.

Heck, you even went to purgatory with him because your love was so strong, you cling to his arm when you saw that Dick Roman was about to explode. You'd rather die with him than live without him.

To say every time he died destroyed you completely was an understatement.

God Cas, Crazy Cas, Leviathan Cas, Purgatory Cas, it did not matter. You loved him. You were loyal to him and only him, even if you two never expressed your feelings out loud. Everybody knew you two belong to each other.

But now that he sees you so grown and mature, being so close with Jack as if you were his parent, he wonders why hasn't the empty come take him if every second he has spent with you is his happiest day and moment.

Then he realized, when Death was knocking on the door, and you were right in front of him alongside Dean with that horrible frightened look on your face that made him want to cry and hug you, that...he could never have a happy ending with you.

He won't ever be your husband, the father of your children or your boyfriend, because he will outlive you. And his fear of not being able to save you as a human, was the only thing that stopped him from giving up being an angel.

But, seeing you now, crying as he's saying his last words, he feels at ease, because he knows that you are stronger than him, that you deserve to outlive him, because before you, his immortality had no number, nor he had age, because it was meaningless.

He, with his last breath and a smile, gives you the rest of his long days with a tender kiss on your forehead, telling you, without the need of words, that you deserve them more than he does. And you accepted them, because it was his gift.

"I love you."

"I love you, Castiel."

#supernatural imagine #castiel spn #castiel x reader #supernatural angst #spn fluff

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quiznak-ofgrayskull · 9 months

Note

Chan's Home for Troubled Kids! LET'S GO!

Okay so first, Chan. Chan is an ex-military man now Forensics Professor at a university in Bangkok. He had a wife who died during childbirth, he lost them both. He ends up quite literally running into Arm on the streets. He ends up taking Arm in as his first kid. Arm was seven. Arm is seven when Chan took him in. Arm is pretty much non-verbal and speaks through sign language or a whiteboard. He doesn't like to talk, but he starts to break out of his shell and starts talking when he meets Tankhun and Pol. When Porsche and Chay join the family, Arm is 15.

Pete is the next kid Chan picks up. Pete is a troubled kid whose grandmother called Chan asking for a favor. She asked Chan to watch and care for Pete when she couldn't. Pete's grandma and Chan were old friends from his military days. Pete's mother died and his father went missing mysteriously. (Pete killed him but was never caught or found out.) Pete was eight when he was adopted and is 16 when Porsche arrives.

Big in true middle child fashion, is the third kid to be picked up by Chan. Big has a lot of anxiety as his mother was a drug addict. He was put into the system by a neighbor who called CPS on his mother. Chan found him after Pete started talking to him. Big was brought home. Big is eight when adopted and is 16 when Porsche is adopted.

Pol is the fourth child to be adopted by Chan. Pol is depressed and his depression has caused problems with him being adopted. His family was killed in two tragic accidents, a car crash and their family bakery catching fire. Pol and Big were at the same orphanage so when Big gets adopted, Pol feels sad because he is losing his friend. That is, until Chan adopts Pol as well because Arm saw that he was sad and wanted to help him. Pol is nine when adopted and 17 when Porsche shows up.

Ken is the fifth child adopted by Chan before the eight year timeskip to Porsche. He was abandoned by his parents, so he had to take care of his younger twin siblings. They were brought to an orphanage and Ken's siblings were adopted but he was rejected by the family because he was too old and too angry. With abandonment and anger issues, Ken wasn't adopted until he was nine years old. Chan found him sitting alone while everyone was playing and offered to adopt Ken who looked at him and said in the tiniest voice "you want me?" Ken is 17 when Porsche shows up.

Porsche is 15 when adopted by Chan per Yok's request. Arthee gave up Porsche and Chay to the system because he didn't care. Porsche has a record of running away from his foster families because he refuses to be separated from Chay. When Porsche is adopted, Chay is adopted by someone else but Chat acts up and is sent back and Chan scoops him up, promising Yok she can visit them whenever. Chay is ten years old when adopted by Chan.

Aaa this is awesome??? I love this??? They???

The shenanigans potential they have as siblings is so. I just feel like hi-jinks would be involved. Big being the middle child feels so accurate to me actually. I don't know what it is but yeah. Tracks.

I feel like they'd have bunk beds lol

I feel like every time he brought back a new kid Chan is just like "Okay last one for real this time" and that statement has yet to be true. Possibly will never be.

Curious what Ken's relationship with his siblings was before they got adopted :0

This is so cool I love this!! I am a sucker for sibling-like relationships and this has that and I'm just lkjadsl;as I love them

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euclyta · 7 months

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I really like your pso2 oc! I think she's a cutie! Can you give me an info dump about her? If you want to, you don't gotta

i had to write this three times bc tumblr kept deleting everything i wrote orz. u get mey's condensed pso2 lore (i still have close to nothing for her ngs lore aaa)

meyneth is the incarnation of the great light, born together with the universe and the primordial darkness!

ten years before the story of pso2 begins, she is almost a casualty from the attack on the arks ship by dark falz apprentice, and is saved in the nick of time by a pair of newman siblings. her body is mechanized from the inside to save her life. after these events, she decides that she’s going to find the two siblings that rescued her and give them a proper thank you

years later, she joins arks and befriends afin on her first day on the job. they become besties and are never seen far from the other. mey is extremely proficient with light element techniques and is a very fearsome force/techter (she gets a lot of comments about her power being blinding like the sun itself)

the story is largely the same as the one in canon, except for after when matoi is taken by the profound darkness; mey goes to see euclyta, because her case gives her hope, and no matter how many times shes told its futile, she returns over and over; not just to talk about saving matoi, but because she genuinely likes being around her and they become very close friends. she doesnt want to say anything, but the truth is that mey developed a huge crush on euclyta along the way. she’s content with keeping quiet until xiao asks her to undergo cryosleep to cleanse her body from f-factor. the night before she has to go, euclyta steps up and confesses she’s also got feelings for her. they promise they’ll be together once mey comes back.

two years pass, she wakes up, and reunites with her friends.

episode 4 as it is in the game doesnt exist in this story because i dont like it so the way i retconned it is an arc focused on defeating falspawn across the planets in preparation for the primordial darkness’ return, like xiao had said at the end of episode 3. there is a lot of focus on mey reconnecting with her friends and catching up on the two years they missed out on, and her developing relationship with euclyta.

when the primordial darkness returns, mey harnesses her innate light and manages to separate persona from it, creating omega in the process. episode 5 continues as normal, except that when euclyta and aurora are brought to epyk, they refuse to go back to oracle and stick together with mey (largely because eucie doesnt wanna leave her alone on a strange medieval fantasy isekai, like if you found out your girlfriend was fighting REAL firebreathing dragons, golems, and shit you’d be terrified for her wellbeing too) (she got a very cool epyk disguise because otherwise margareta wouldnt let them go)

when episode 5 ends theres another divergence from canon, in which mey is too kind for her own good and saves elmir from dying and forces him into the falz sitcom headspace together with luther, gettemhart and co. she has to constantly tell them to not lay a finger on him. also he refuses to admit he does like her. she gets a very cool masquerade dark blast form!

in the small timeframe between the end of ep5 and before shiva overtakes the mothership in ep 6, mey obtains a cosmogenic arm of her own in the form of lightstream xion, after fighting the requiem of the specters grudge (the dark falz persona raid).

the war against shiva goes the same, but when it comes to the finale you might be asking who the third heroine is if i wrote hitsugi out of existence. its euclyta :D because i can and because i believe in the power of love skjdhsj

after the end of the story, things go quiet and they try to resume life and live in peace. meyneth and euclyta get married a few years later. i am still ironing out how i want this ending to connect to ngs bc we still have so little lore on the meteorn but i’ll make it work. i now realize this was supposed to be about mey and i somehow still ended up rambling a bit about euciemey in the process whoops. anyway .

theres the mey lore i hope u enjoy pls subscribe and hit the little bell icon for more

#pso2 #i like my oc

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zevranunderstander · 2 years

Text

i miss how old big game titles were just allowed to be mean and weird sometimes and weren’t these super sanitized, disney-like, family-friendly, very non-political products that had to be consumed by the largest audience possible.

like, not every game mechanic in the old animal crossing games made sense, sure. there were festivals you didn’t get any rewards for or played minigames at, you just put some flowers in front of your house or your neighbours suddenly had christmas lights around their houses, but old animal crossing games were way more focussed on creating a community and interacting with characters you like. if you were mean to characters in animal crossing they would start to gossip about you and spread mean rumors, i remember i had so much fun making one character my enemy - i didn’t want her to move away, it was part of the immersive story i made myself. old animal crossing game came with legends to them, like, “if you do x, tom nook opens his shop in the middle of the night, but everything is ten times as expensive”, there wasn’t much of a mechanical point to any of these but they made you discover stuff about the game even after playing or a year or so. for me, animal crossing: new horizions is nothing like playing old animal crossing games - the game is so polished it loses all it’s weirdness and charm.

the early sims games were full of really mean dialogue lines about your characters, featured a lot of stuff that had no real gameplay to it other than the feeling of playing with barbie dolls and could get *incredibly* weird and while i still like sims 4 it is nothing like playing sims 2 for me. i recently checked out the new sims 4 feature where you can play scenarios, but almost all of the scenarios are like “you are rasing a young child/multiple children”, “you play as a person who works in retail” etc. while a similar feature existed in sims 2 where all the scenarios were batshit insane stuff you wouldn’t already play in the game as usual. like just this random scrap of lore says SO much about how much weirder the series used to be:

this next point is gonna be a weird one, but in the early video game days almost every game had a brothel or some other sex-related content (or both). don’t misunderstand this, i do not think objectifying women is the thing we lost in gaming over the years, nor do i think this is what we need to use the medium of video games for, but i think it’s one of these signs that games nowadays need to be very presentable for a large audience and e.g. a quest where you need to actually program a sex robot that you can also actually *have sex with* is way less imaginable in a game today, than it was in 2011.

this is not the only reason the game sucks absolute ass, but compare dragon age 1 and 2 to dragon age inquisition. dragon age games lived off of this weird level of chaos, incredibly humorous questlines, sidequests where you visit the brothel, have to strip naked with your friends or talk a bunch of hostile werewolves into being your friends and chatting with an oak tree that only spoke in riddles. i personally think the first two games had a certain charm to them, because that made them so incredibly unique. and dragon age inquisition tried so hard to be sanitized and marketable - they added crafting and grinding and chunks of open world and every other mechanic imagineable that was popular at the time, and they removed all the stuff that made the games so loveable in the first place - the game takes itself incredibly serious, has no real, memorable quests that are funny or messy and has more of a marvel approach to humor than the weird, niche, incredibly dirty humor the first two games had and it really shows

what im saying is. i hate you, super-sanitized AAA-titles, i hate you, age-appropriate marvel humor, i hate you “every mechanic has to make sense” game design approach, i hate you, shallow quippy dialogue, i hate you, crafting systems, i hate you, lack of negative reactions to player actions, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, i hate you

#myposts #the sims #animal crossing #dragon age #da #da2 #dai #dragon age 2

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