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whatsabriard · 2 years

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Watch With Me: Hart to Hart 1x03

Episode Title: Passport to Murder

Original Air Date: September 29, 1979

Why this one?: Jonathan Hart jail strip tease. you heard me.

Favorite Quote: "Such a dirty, dirty boy you need a bath."

This episode is about drug smuggling from Mexico. So you know, really light, fun stuff. Throw in a little blackmail and crooked cops, the Harts pretending to fuck to get out of jail (I WISH I WAS KIDDING - no i don't.) it's a lot.

The Harts sailed to Baja with a friend. For a vacation? His wife and kids were supposed to come along but alas. This is an important detail to the plot, which I don't actually care about.

Their ship is called "The Romance" because they've made their last name their entire personality and I love that for them.

I love the conceit that this whole things takes place while the Harts are dressed to the nines (tuxedo and all) through this mess, so Jonathan is pulling STRONG Bond vibes.

"I should never travel with you." I mean, it's good advice. The get into this shit with alarming regularity. But this friend dude is a mean drunk.

Then he falls down the stairs which is...not great.

Jennifer speaks impeccable Spanish. Because Stefanie speaks impeccable spanish. AND french. and she's pretty strong with german. overachievers, both of them.

I just love that they go running all over Mexico in their sunday best. Ya'll could have changed into jeans, you dummies. But then Jonathan wouldn't be able to run around looking deliciously rumpled with his shirt open halfway down.

A dead guy falls on Jennifer. She's always being accosted by dead bodies.

"Remember that article I did on drug abuse?" She's a drug expert now, although she can't tell if it is cocaine or heroin. But she does know it isn't white flour!

Jonathan puts The Romance up for collateral to get money for some drug exchange thing. I'm sitting here watching this and my brain just absolutely blue-screens on this plot stuff.

So Jonathan gives the drug guy the money and he gets the drugs. Then the police come and find the drugs on him and confiscate them and send them to jail. IIRC it's a big scam full of corruption.

Jonathan hands over the drugs to Jennifer to identify. She's like "I guess it's the same?" she didn't even TASTE IT. But I suppose that would have created an entirely different episode.

"She's not stimulating my appetite." lmao look. Jennifer is straight up objectifying jonathan to their guard. "Show her the ole pearly whites". and then. And THEn shE StrIPS him.

pours water on him

makes out with him

and attacks the guard when she comes in to check out if they're actually doing the big nasty in the jail cell.

this whole scene makes me go absolutely fucking feral it's SO FUNNY.

they really sat in the writers room and then went "This is perfect". bless.

then they remain handcuffed together for most of the rest of the episode.

jonathan gets his "my wife just tried to pimp me to the lady guard" revenge when he snaps her heels and tears her dress so she can run faster.

they've gone from deliciously rumpled to a real hot mess pretty quick. and then oops, they have to get in the water and swim to safety!

"are you sure your relatives didn't scout for custer?" damn jennifer.

these assholes are actually managing to swim cuffed together. AND they're getting shot at. Good thing the cop guy is a bad shot and also good thing there aren't leeches in that water yikes.

so then there's like a whole bunch of plot where they get into the sheriff's house, they're chased by a helicopter and in the end they find out that Drunk!Friend's family was never in any danger. It's a scam on a scam on a scam.

"Now proimse me, we won't get involved in any more of these THINGS." Promise, promise, promise. "Because if you do, I'm just going to have to chain you down, and that's just for starters." I hope you're planning on a big finish. "Oh I am, now that we're alone like this." and guess what they're not alone but they don't care because they're The Harts.

if you guessed this episode ended on the harts making out, you win a prize!

#hart to hart #jennifer hart #jonathan hart #rj wagner #stefanie powers #sexy married couple #80s tv #i love them so much #life ruiners the original recipe

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fearsomeandwretched · 1 year

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Ken Todd grabbing Sandoval's shirt collar and saying "don't ever disrespect my wife. Ever. Okay? Otherwise you might regret it" before patting his face while Lisa smirks next to him. I am obsessed with them!!!

#the 80s London power couple came out #nicole watches vpr

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scientia-rex · 25 days

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For the most part, my approach to prescribing hormones is “sure,” but I will note that the one thing I lean HARD on patients about is smoking. If you’re transgender, and you’re on hormones, the number one thing we want to protect is your cardiovascular health. That’s frankly the number one thing I want to protect in all my patients, but anyone taking exogenous hormones is at higher baseline risk. And the best thing you can do for your heart is DON’T SMOKE. It’s a bitch to quit, and I didn’t even smoke much or long before I quit in my late teens, and I STILL didn’t enjoy quitting and had smoking dreams for years. It’s harder to quit than just about anything else up to and including crack and heroin, and that’s coming from a patient of mine who recently passed in her early 60s who’d done all of those things—for years and years—but eventually was able to quit everything except smoking. And that killed her. She developed severe COPD and eventually called to say her blood oxygen saturation was dipping into the 70s, which is incompatible with life. She was lucid enough to decline medical care, including refusing to call 911 or go to the ER. A week later, after both I and one of our outreach nurses had contacted her to ask her to please go to the ER, I got a notification that she’d been found dead. She had been so frustrated that she wasn’t a candidate for a lung transplant.

One of my oldest trans patients is in her late 50s. She’s had blood clots that went to the lungs. Repeatedly. Smoking raises that risk. Estrogen raises that risk. She’s a veteran with PTSD; of course she smoked.

These aren’t theoretical. These are humans I’ve cared for over years of their lives. I have been rooting for them—my beloved former addict, who spoke without shame about her years of homelessness and drug use in the city; my queer elders, who are slowly trading in their motorcycles for power scooters. I want everyone to live their fullest, best life.

Smoking doesn’t fit into that. Please don’t smoke. I don’t want you to die like that—not now and not later. I want you to have the future that you may not be able to see yet, but exists.

Since I moved home as an out queer, word got out, and there’s a whole apartment complex of lesbians in their 60s to their 80s who come see me—sitting next to their wives in the office, nagging about blood pressure meds, tattling about not having gotten the shingles shot they said they would. To be clear, when I was growing up in town, I knew no lesbians. Not one. I knew one gay kid in my class, which eventually turned into two. We were it. To see these women living decades with their wives and being able to squabble like any couple in my office over who was supposed to bring their home blood pressure cuff in for us to check it… it means the world to me.

#the attending dr. kristophine

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meganiumgender · 1 year

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I hate how quickly my body is failing me. I almost blacked out from the lower back pain I experienced just from walking from my office to the bathroom across the building. What the fuck.

#i have like $80 to my name and no insurance i cant see a doctor but like #its just gotten worse and worse over the past couple months #i used to be able to at least walk for a couple hours but lately it seems like if im on my feet more than 5 or 10 minutes the pain starts #and the time between the pain starting and becoming unmanageable is almost nothing now. i cant power through it anymore.

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vmpyria · 3 months

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IMAGINE DRESSING ALL GOTH AND ABSOLUTELY PAINTING THE TOWN RED WITH ALASTOR OMG??

this is the dream

SO TRUE NONNIE!! i have a goth oc that’s paired with alastor so i’m just going to use her vibes for this! she’s an overlord so you’re both an iconic couple in this!

no one can mess with the radio demon and his wife.

“my sweetheart! you look wonderful!” alastor boasted as you finished applying your icon black lipstick, glancing at your husband through your hand mirror.

it was metal with beautiful vintage design, “you always say that, darling.” you hummed in reply, making sure your makeup was perfect before placing the mirror back on your vanity.

“well, of course! you always amaze me with your beauty and skill!” alastor said cheerfully, you stood showing off your outfit.

your make up style was very leaning towards the traditional style of goth make up, given you had passed in the 80’s.

white foundation, big and eccentric eyeliner, wings long and thick. with black and grey eyeshadow, sometimes you used blush, but today was a monochromatic day.

your outfit was styled perfectly, a long floor length black dress, with a slit that ran all the way up to your thigh. a corset hugged your waist tightly, making your figure prominent. the dress had lace sleeves that resembled a bat. your heels were polished and shiny. your hair was teased and styled to your exact liking.

alastor’s grin widened and his gaze lit up.

“what a beautiful dress too!” he complimented, you smiled as your stepped closer.

extending your hand out to him, he took it gently. pressing a kiss on your knuckles. “you’re such a gentleman,” you hummed, alastor offered you his arm.

“well, of course, darling! i have to make sure my wife is happy, right?” he smiled, intertwining your arm with his and exited to the city of hell.

it was just a casual stroll, the two of you talking about mundane things, that is until a gang of shark demons approached.

the leader, naive to the power you two held, began hitting on you.

“baby! you’re so scary, huh! c’mon, leave that grinning freak and let me give you the night of your life!” the demon called. stopping in your tracks, you glanced at the group. seemed like the demon had some goons, as they all laugh at his comment, even going to add more crude about you and your husband.

but you didn’t worry, alastor’s grip on your arm tightened. his patience running thin, “darling?” you called, alastor looked at you.

you grinned, sharp pointed teeth visible in your smile.

“what to have some fun?” you teased, your words implying more. alastor matched your energy, “i thought you’d never ask!”

just as the demon yelled a comment, you didn’t really catch it, but you knew it had to do with your breasts. you and alastor had no issue dealing with them.

the people around the area scattered as they watched you and your husband maul the men that dared to cross you both.

the screams of the demons echoed through the red sky, pleas for mercy falling on death ears before they were ripped apart.

alastor had given you the last hit, the leader, which you took gracefully!

your claws dug into the demons skin before ripping some flesh off, the leader screeched for mercy, but you didn’t care!

by the end of this whole ordeal, you and you’re husband were covered in blood. you didn’t care too much, but your corset was stained! what a shame.

“what a show!” alastor perked, coming to your side, wrapping his arm around your waist, “you truly taught them a lesson.” he praised looking down at you, you hummed. “i guess so, now i have to take my clothing to the tailor though! i can’t walk around all bloody and gross.” you lamented, wiping away some of the thick crimson liquid from your cheek.

“me too, sweetheart! let’s go later in the afternoon, yes?” alastor proposed, looking down at you while grinning. you nodded, smiling as well.

“sounds like a plan!”

#⛧ . WRITINGS #࣪ ˖ 𓂃 anon’s 𖤐 #alastor smut #hazbin alastor #hazbin x you #yandere hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor

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fuckyeahgoodomens · 2 months

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The Radio Times magazine from the 29 July-04 August 2023 :)

THE SECOND COMING

How did Terry Pratchett and Neil gaiman overcome the small matter of Pratchett's death to make another series of their acclaimed divine comedy?

For all the dead authors in the world,” legendary comedy producer John Lloyd once said, “Terry Pratchett is the most alive.” And he’s right. Sir Terry is having an extremely busy 2023… for someone who died in 2015.

This week sees the release of Good Omens 2, the second series of Amazon’s fantasy comedy drama based on the cult novel Pratchett co-wrote with Neil Gaiman in the late 1980s. This will be followed in the autumn by a new spin-off book from Pratchett’s Discworld series, Tiffany Aching’s Guide to Being a Witch, co-written by Pratchett’s daughter Rhianna and children’s author Gabrielle Kent. The same month, we’ll also get A Stroke of the Pen, a collection of “lost” short stories written by Sir Terry for local newspapers in the 70s and 80s and recently rediscovered. Clearly, while there are no more books coming from Pratchett – a hard drive containing all drafts and unpublished work was crushed by a vintage steamroller shortly after the author’s death, as per his specific wishes – people still want to visit his vivid and addictive worlds in new ways.

Good Omens 2 will be the first test of how this can work. The original book started life as a 5,000-word short story by Gaiman, titled William the Antichrist and envisioned as a bit of a mashup of Richmal Crompton’s Just William books and the 70s horror classic The Omen. What would happen, Gaiman had mused, if the spawn of Satan had been raised, not by a powerful American diplomat, but by an extremely normal couple in an idyllic English village, far from the influence of hellish forces? He’d sent the first draft to bestselling fantasy author Pratchett, a friend of many years, and then forgotten about it as he busied himself with continuing to write his massively popular comic books, including Violent Cases, Black Orchid and The Sandman, which became a Netflix series last year.

Pratchett loved the idea, offering to either buy the concept from Gaiman or co-write it. It was, as Gaiman later said, “like Michelangelo phoning and asking if you want to paint a ceiling” The pair worked on the book together from that point on, rewriting each other as they went and communicating via long phone calls and mailed floppy discs. “The actual mechanics worked like this: I would do a bit, then Neil would take it away and do a bit more and give it back to me,” Pratchett told Locus magazine in 1991. “We’d mess about with each other’s bits and pieces.”

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch – to give it its full title –was published in 1990 to huge acclaim. It was one of, astonishingly, five Terry Pratchett novels to be published that year (he averaged two a year, including 41 Discworld novels and many other standalone works and collaborations).

It was also, clearly, extremely filmable, and studios came knocking — though getting it made took a while. rnvo decades on from its writing, four years after Pratchett's death from Alzheimer's disease aged 66, and after several doomed attempts to get a movie version off the ground, Good Omens finally made it to TV screens in 2019, scripted and show-run by Gaiman himself. "Terry was egging me on to make it into television. He knew he was dying, and he knew that I wouldn't start it without him," Gaiman revealed in a 2019 Radio Times interview. Amazon and the BBC co-produced with Pratchett's company Narrativia and Gaiman's Blank Corporation production studios, with Michael Sheen and David Tennant cast in the central roles of Aziraphale the angel and Crowley the demon. The show was a hit, not just with fans of its two creators, but with a whole new young audience, many of whom had no interest in Discworld or Sandman. Social media networks like Tumblr and TikTok were soon awash with cosplay, artwork and fan fiction. The original novel became, for the first time, a New York Times bestseller.

A follow up was, on one level, a no-brainer. The world Pratchett and Gaiman had created was vivid, funny and accessible, and Tennant and Sheen had found an intriguing romantic spark in their chemistry not present in the novel.

There was, however, a huge problem. There wasn't a second Good Omens book to base it on. But there was the ghost of an idea.

In 1989, after the book had been sold but before it had come out, the two authors had laid on fivin beds in a hotel room at a convention in Seattle and, jet-lagged and unable to sleep, plotted out, in some detail, what would happen in a sequel, provisionally titled 668, The II Neighbour of the Beast.

"It was a good one, too" Gaiman wrote in a 2021 blog. "We fully intended to write it, whenever we next had three or four months free. Only I went to live in America and Terry stayed in the UK, and after Good Omens was published, Sandman became SANDMAN and Discworld became DISCWORLD(TM) and there wasn't a good time."

Back in 1991, Pratchett elaborated, "We even know some of the main characters in it. But there's a huge difference between sitting there chatting away, saying, 'Hey, we could do this, we could do that,' and actually physically getting down and doing it all again." In 2019, Gaiman pillaged some of those ideas for Good Omens series one (for example, its final episode wasn't in the book at all), and had left enough threads dangling to give him an opening for a sequel. This is the well he's returned to for Good Omens 2, co-writing with comic John Finnemore - drafted in, presumably, to plug the gap left Pratchett's unparalleled comedic mind. No small task.

Projects like Good Omens 2 are an important proving ground for Pratchett's legacy: can the universes he conjured endure without their creator? And can they stay true to his spirit? Sir Terry was famously protective of his creations, and there have been remarkably few adaptations of his work considering how prolific he was. "What would be in it for me?" he asked in 2003. "Money? I've got money."

He wanted his work treated reverently and not butchered for the screen. It's why Good Omens and projects like Tiffany Aching's Guide to Being a Witch are made with trusted members of the inner circle like Neil Gaiman and Rhianna Pratchett at the helm. It's also why the author's estate, run by Pratchett's former assistant and business manager Rob Wilkins, keeps a tight rein on any licensed Pratchett material — it's a multi-million dollar media empire still run like a cottage industry.

And that's heartening. Anyone who saw BBC America's panned 2021 Pratchett adaptation The Watch will know how badly these things can go when a studio is allowed to run amok with the material without oversight. These stories deserve to be told, and these worlds deserve to be explored — properly. And there are, apparently, many plans afoot for more Pratchett on the screen. You can only hope that, somewhere, he'll be proud of the results.

After all, as he wrote himself, "No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone's life is only the core of their actual existence."

While those ripples continue to spread, Sir Terry Pratchett remains very much alive. MARC BURROWS

DIVINE DUO

An angel and a demon walk into a pub... Michael Sheen and David Tennant on family, friendship and Morecambe & Wise

Outside it's cold winter's day and we're in a Scottish studio, somewhere between Edinburgh and Glasgow. But inside it's lunchtime in The Dirty Donkey pub in the heart of London, with both Michael Sheen and David Tennant surveying the scene appreciatively. "This is a great pub," says Sheen eagerly, while Tennant calls it "the best Soho there can be. A slightly heightened, immaculate, perfect, dreamy Soho."

Here, a painting of the absent landlord — the late Terry Pratchett, co-creator, with Neil Gaiman, of the series' source novel — looms over punters. Around the corner is AZ Fell and Co Antiquarian and Unusual Books. It's the bookshop owned by Sheen's character, the angel Aziraphale, and the place to where Tennant's demon Crowley is inevitably drawn.

It's day 74 of an 80-day shoot for a series that no one, least of all the leading actors, ever thought would happen, due to the fact that Pratchett and Gaiman hadn't ever published any sequel to their 1990 fantasy satire. Tennant explains, "What we didn't know was that Neil and Terry had had plots and plans..."

Still, lots of good things are in Good Omens 2, which expands on the millennia-spanning multiverse of the first series. These include a surprisingly naked side of John Hamm, and roles for both Tennant's father-in-law (Peter Davison) and 21-year-old son Ty. At its heart, though, remains the brilliant banter between the two leading men — as Sheen puts it, "very Eric and Ernie !" — whose chemistry on the first series led to one of the more surprising saviours of lockdown telly.

Good Omens is back — but you've worked together a lot in the meantime. Was there a connective tissue between series one of Good Omens and Staged, your lockdown sitcom?

David: Only in as much as the first series went out, then a few months later, we were all locked in our houses. And because of the work we'd done on Good Omens, it occurred that we might do something else. I mean, Neil Gaiman takes full responsibility for Staged. Which, to some extent, he's probably right to do!

Michael: We've got to know each other through doing this. Our lives have gotten more entwined in all kinds of ways — we have children who've now become friends, and our families know each other.

There have been hints of a romantic storyline between the two characters. How much of an undercurrent is that in this series.

David: Nothing's explicit.

Michael: I felt from the very beginning that part of what would be interesting to explore is that Aziraphale is a character, a being, who just loves. How does that manifest itself in a very specific relationship with another being? Inevitably, as there is with everything in this story, there's a grey area. The fact that people see potentially a "romantic relationship", I thought that was interesting and something to explore.

There was a petition to have the first series banned because of its irreverent take on Christian tropes. Series two digs even more deeply into the Bible with the story of Job. How much of a badge of honour is it that the show riles the people who like to ban things?

David: It's not an irreligious show at all. It's actually very respectful of the structure of that sort of religious belief. The idea that it promotes Satanism [is nonsense]. None of the characters from hell are to be aspired to at all! They're a dreadful bunch of non-entities. People are very keen to be offended, aren't they? They're often looking for something to glom on to without possibly really examining what they think they're complaining about.

Michael, you're known as an activist, and you're in the middle of Making BBC drama The Way, which "taps into the social and political chaos of today's world". Is it important for you to use your plaform to discuss causes you believe in?

Michael: The Way is not a political tract, it's just set in the area that I come from. But it has to matter to you, doesn't it? More and more as I get older, [I find] it can be a real slog doing this stuff. You've got to enjoy it. And if it doesn't matter to you, then it's just going to be depressing.

David, Michael has declared himself a "not-for-profit" actor. Has he tried to persuade you to give up all your money too?

David: What an extraordinary question! One is always aware that one has a certain responsibility if one is fortunate and gets to do a job that often doesn't feel like a job. You want to do your bit whenever you can. But at the same time, I'm an actor. I'm not about to give that up to go into politics or anything. But I'll do what I can from where I live.

Well, your son and your father-in-law are also starring in this series. How about that, jobs for the boys!

David: I know! It was a delight to get to be on set with them. And certainly an unexpected one for me. Neil, on two occasions, got to bowl up to me and say, "Guess who we've cast?!"

How do you feel about your US peers going on strike?

David: It's happening because there are issues that need to be addressed. Nobody's doing this lightly. These are important issues, and they've got to be sorted out for the future of our industry. There's this idea that writers and actors are all living high on the hog. For huge swathes of our industry, that's just not the case. These people have got to be protected.

Michael: We have to be really careful that things don't slide back to the way they were pre the 1950s, when the stories that we told were all coming from one point of view and the stories of certain people, or communities within our society, weren't represented. There's a sense that now that's changed for ever and it'll never go back. But you worry when people can't afford to have the opportunities that other people have. We don't want the story that we tell about ourselves to be myopic. You want it to be as inclusive as possible

Staged series 3 recently broadcast. It felt like the show's last hurrah — or is there more mileage? Sheen and Tennant go on holiday?

David: That's the Christmas special! One Foot in the Algarve! On the Buses Go to Spain!

Michael: I don't think we were thinking beyond three, were we?

So is it time for a conscious uncoupling for you two — Eric and Ernie say goodbye?

David: Oh, never say never, will we?

Michael: And it's more Hinge and Bracket.

David: Maybe that's what we do next — The Hinge and Bracket Story. CRAIG McLEAN

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mazamba · 1 month

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Sponsored By

Ironically, the most eventful day in the careers of Mr. and Mrs. Fenton had nothing to do with ghosts. The two had just returned from the supermarket and were carrying in the groceries, when the shadow in the corner began to speak.

"We need to talk."

"GHOST!"

The couple were on their back before they could draw their weapons.

"You are the foremost experts in the field of ecto-biology," said Batman as if he hadn't just brought down a three hundred pound man and a ninth-degree black-belt before either of them could realize he'd moved, "I have questions regarding your sponsor."

"Sweetie, is the Batman in our living room?" asked Jack.

"I do believe he is," replied Maddie as she stood up and patted the dust off her clothes, "you know, you could have called for an appointment. We'd have made time."

"In the 80's, the two of you had your doctorate studies rescinded due to your studies in what you called "ecto-science"," he stated, ignoring their indignation, "yet you now live in an upper-middle class neighborhood and spend thousands of dollars a year on technology that didn't have a proper proof-of-concept until recently."

"What's your point?" asked Jack.

"Where is the money coming from?"

"If you must know, we have a sponsor," replied Maddie, "after our dean proved to be too small-minded for our research, we were approached by a man who was more open to the possibility of inter-dimensional research."

"He wanted us to study ghosts!" cut in Jack, "He even gave us our very first sample of ectoplasm!"

"That one sample was the backbone of our research for years, until we got our portal running."

"You never asked where he got that sample from?"

"He seemed like a trust-worthy fellow," dismissed Maddie, "all he asks is for copies of our experiments and for ectoplasm from our portal."

"What sort of experiments?"

"Well, at first we needed to verify the psycho-active behavior of the sample," recalled Maddie, "if you give me a second, I have my research around here somewhere."

"You took the sample to several morgues," Batman told them, "the sample's most drastic and extreme behavior occurred when it was placed close to bodies who had a history of violent and anti-social behavior in life."

"Maddie, the League's reading our papers!" Jack giggled excitedly, "But yes, it's how we know that all ghosts are evil ectoplasmic scum!"

"You never questioned the origin of the sample?"

"It was the only sample we had," pointed out Maddie, "but it's properties matched all of our theories."

"The man you spoke with was Ra's al Ghul," he informed them, dropping a folder full of pictures and documents for them to peruse, "thousands of years ago, Ra's found a well of green water that is now known as a Lazarus Pit. Using its power, he has rejuvenated himself time and again to maintain his position as the head of the League of Assassins. After some experimentation, he found the same pits could keep his forces alive, even in death.

"Over time, the League came across a problem that threatened their continued existence. They were consuming the Pit's water faster than it was replenishing itself. After much experimentation, they found a solution. At the moment of death, when the human soul passes over to the Infinite Realms, what you call the Ghost Zone, a small amount of ectoplasm leaks over to our side."

"Wait, you don't mean...?" Maddie trailed off, horror settling in.

"Ra's killed people en masse to replenish his pool," affirmed Batman, "further experimentation revealed that people who died in a state of extreme fear or pain provided more ferocious soldiers. That is where your sample came from.

"In it's neutral state, ectoplasm reacts equally to all emotional ranges. Repeated exposure to emotional extremes will imprint the ectoplasm, causing it to react more strongly to a specific emotional range than to others. The negative emotions of Ra's victims imprinted on the ectoplasm, resulting in your skewed results."

"Wait, how would you know that?" demanded Maddie, "We're the foremost experts on ecto-science and we didn't know that!"

He pulled out a thick folder and slammed it onto the table.

"I had my research peer-reviewed."

"By who?" asked Jack, "We looked all over and couldn't find anyone in the scientific community!"

"You weren't looking in the right place. There is a branch of the Justice League that specializes in the supernatural, ghosts and demons chief among them. They want me to bring you in."

"Really!? Did you hear that Mads! We're being recruited by the Justice League!"

"They want me to arrest you," Batman corrected them, "for illegal poaching of innocent and neutral spirits, particularly after last week's attack on their newest member, Danny Phantom."

"The Ghost Boy!?" roared Jack, "That no-good ectoscum made the League before we did!?"

"I have watched his fights. He takes care to avoid collateral damage and only appears when other ghosts attack, sometimes at great personal cost."

"Look, Mr. Batman," sighed Maddie in a condescending tone, "we've fought the ghost boy for years. He has a history of crime and violence. If you look far enough, you'll find-."

Batman had no time for nonsense.

"The League has already looked into the incidents. All show indications of either coercion or mind control."

"Ghosts are deceitful and conniving-!"

"We have already established that your initial sample skewed your results," he cut Jack off, "this would imply that all of your research and experiments need to be reassessed, including your opinions towards ghosts in general.

"Regarding Ra's al Ghul, you will need to continue working with him. Cutting contact suddenly may put you and your family in danger."

That caught their attention.

"What do we need to do?" asked Jack, all jokes and outrage immediately tossed out the window.

"Keep doing your research with this new information in mind. Your experiments have been applied to the Lazarus Pits, resulting in unstable results. Recent subjects have come out in a mindless rage, while others have shown no effect on their mind, and yet others have had no effect. Ra's is already skeptical of your continued collaboration. If you provide him with research based off this new information, he may decide you are not worth his time or money. When it comes to Ra's, your best option is dismissal to irrelevance. You do not want to make an enemy out of him."

"It's not just that," admitted Maddie, "if we were the only ones being affected, we'd simply let him know we're exploring new horizons outside of ecto-science. The thing is, we have two children, one in college and one near graduation."

He gave them a card. "Call that number. All of their college expenses will be taken care of."

"I... Bruce Wayne?" read out Jack.

"We've collaborated before, he is trustworthy," he reassured them, "the next part is up to you. Will you be scientists, or poachers?"

Their lights flickered, and he was gone.

#dp x dc #batman #jack fenton #madeline fenton #kinda messed with the Lazarus Pit's canon #but it's not like I'm the only one who's done that #so whatever #I do hope I got the Fentons' overconfidence right though

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