#54 years ago today! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pogueswrld · 8 months

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*•.¸♡ make up sex ♡¸.•*

pairing: fred weasley x fem!plus-sized!reader

summary: Freddie talks too much, and his girlfriend is exhausting all the ways she knows to shut him up. Softly, of course.

warnings: smut🦢!1!1!1!1! there's plot and fluff, and everyone's of age ofc, although it is hinted that reader is still in Hogwarts, kinda sub!Fred top!reader, like he's whining and panting and begging and shit (bites lip) ANYWAY, dick riding hehe, no usage of y/n.

note: it is 2:59 pm on a Friday, let's see how fast I write this shit. note 0.2: Okay so it's 5:54 pm on the same day, I think I'm done. This isn't edited, but it took me 3 hours to write 😁

He was still talking. Why, in the name of Merlin, was he still talking?

Dating Fed Weasley is fun, there's no denying that, but Good Heavens isn't that a boy a handful. Both literary and figurative. He's got a wide imagination, a never-squelching desire for knowledge, and a big heart. That is a dangerous combination for a somewhat intelligent and never-quiet man.

She's a saint, his girlfriend, and Ginny made a point to always express that to her. "How do you put up with that all the time?" Gesturing to Fred, who was using his hands in elaborate motions as he went on his fourth rant of the morning on the same subject to George. She'd only shrug, lips engulfing another spoonful of whatever ice cream the girls were sharing. "In one ear and out the other darling."

Not to say that she hates it, or that it bothers her- quite the opposite actually. Fred's excited and hyper personality is what made him so interesting to her, it was what drew her to him in the first place. She enjoys listening to him rant, even about the most random things -he stopped her the other day and explained in great detail how penguins mate and how once the female accepts the male's proposing gestures, they're together for life- and she adores it.

Yes, it sure can be a bit much at times, but she wouldn't change it for the world. Imagine loving a man who was as boring and dry as his older brother, Percy? She would have to jump out of Ginny's bedroom window!

Today was her first day back in the Burrow from Hogwarts for summer break, and she was exhausted, to say the least. She was up from dawn, finishing up the last bits of her packing before leaving for the train station with Harry, Hermione, and Ron. And because she's a good friend, she made sure each of her friends made it to their transportation safely before she and Ron were picked up by Fred and George.

In the car, Ron opened the untameable can of worms by mentioning Bill who was staying over at the Burrow for the summer as well, taking a couple of months' worth of vacation away from the dragons and such. That was the spark Fred needed to blast off into a hundred rants one after the other.

He spoke about seeing Bill again, which is understandable, he hasn't been home in years. He spoke about the dragons, which led to his excited mention of his favorites and how he's going to ask Bill how it was training them. Then he turned to Quidditch training, and even though both him and George had left Hogwarts a year or so ago, the both of them still found time to play the game as a side hobby. After that was all done, George gave her and Ron and update on the shop, and Fred went on and on about all kinds of new candies and flavors and combinations they were working on to add to the store by the beginning of next year.

She was understandably tired by the time the Burrow came into view. And as much as she adores her boyfriend, she needed him to shut the fuck up for twenty minutes. But he's so sweet, and his eyes light up when talking, and he gets this beautiful energy surrounding him when he does it that she doesn't have the nerve to ask him to be silent for a bit. So she excuses herself and tries to bury her body under the covers of his bed.

But he finds her there, and he reports to her that dinner is ready, and that Bill is here, and that she looks so gorgeous on his bed, and that there's a strange animal in the backyard, and that Ginny tried to curse the bathroom when he went in to use it, and that he doesn't understand why she'd do that, and that George is out in the garage, and that-

She jolts up on his bed, her eyes twitching as she stares at him. He looks so beautiful, but he's talking too damn much. She cups his face, and he goes silent and stares at her with wide eyes.

"Wha'?" He mumbled, his lips squished together as she squeezed his cheeks.

"You talk too much, ya' know that?" She said, her thumb slightly caressing the apples of his cheeks.

He opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water, and tilts his head ever so slightly. "Do' it bothe' yo'?"

She giggles breathlessly and lets go of his face before pressing her lips tightly against his. "Not all the time, but times like today..." She rests her forehead against his and sighs, "It can be a lot, and I need you to read the room and tone it down a little bit, d'ya think you can do that for me?"

He stares, something in his gaze changes, and he nods. "Of course, baby. Whateva' you want."

Great. Now she feels bad. She sighs and pushes past the blankets swallowing her to sit up on her knees. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and pulls him into a hug. "I love you, truly love you, and I don't mean to be mean to you, and you know I love it when you ramble, but I'm really overwhelmed today, darling. I'm sorry."

Fred wraps his arms around her waist in return, hugging her tightly. It's true that he can't always read the room, and now that he's no longer attending school he's got much more free time on his hands than he knows what to do with. It takes him a couple days to be able to read his girlfriend's body language like he used to once she's home from school, and he feels terrible that he was one of the reasons for making her feel so incredibly overwhelmed. He also feels slightly ashamed of his non-stop rambling all day.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, mumbling something into her skin that made her shiver and giggle away from him. "Stop," she breathes in a giggle, "It tickles."

He chuckles, his hands squeezing at the skin of her waist as he stares at her dreamily. "I said, I'm sorry I made you feel overwhelmed, I promise to try and do better."

She grins at him, so brilliantly, that he can't help but lean down and capture her lips in a soaring kiss. "I love you." He mumbles against her lips, and she smiles while trying to kiss him back. "C'mon now, love, let's go have dinner."

Her eyes darken; her pupils widen, and she smiles that mischievous grin that he adores so much, and he groans while throwing his head back. He knows exactly what is on her mind.

"I have a better idea." She whispers, giggling as she throws herself into his lap and kisses him with such force that she's pushing him down on his bed. He yelps, his hands traveling to the bed and her waist, holding on to her for stability. Bubbling heat travels across his body through her kiss, and he sighs when her cold fingertips trace down his arms, sending goosebumps across his body.

Her kisses transfer from his lips to the sides of his mouth, his cheeks, down his jawline, until she's pampering open-mouthed kisses across his neck like stardust.

He sighs, his eyes closed and his head thrown back on the pillow. "Please," He breathed, a low whine undertoning his voice. She shivers above him, her teeth grazing his skin in a teasing bite.

She's always hated the effect his voice has on her.

"Please what, darling?"

He whines. It's low, for her ears only, it's a barely-there breath, but his mouth is right next to her ear and she hears him loud and clear. Her panties dampen almost immediately.

"Please touch me," He whispers. His hands gripped tightly to her thighs. He knows better than to roam her body without permission. She pulls back slightly, blinking up at him with a soft smile and long lashes. "But I am touching you, Freddie."

He knows this game. This cruel, cruel game she adores to play. He whines in pretentious of hating his role, but his hips buck, and his cock twitches underneath the fabrics of his boxers and trousers.

He slowly traces one of his hands from her thighs to her palm before letting her fingers rest on his aching cock. He guides her hands to gently rub him through his clothes and he lets out a breath when her fingers squeeze around him. "Touch me there." He gasps.

She entertains him, allowing him to set the pace and buck into her hold. He releases deep breaths and low whines, stuttering moans every time she tightens her grip around him. She can feel herself getting wetter by the second, how his eyes are shut desperately, his teeth bite down on his bottom lip, and her name is gasped out of his throat with every other movement. It makes her feel powerful, it makes her entire being vibrate.

"That's enough." She mumbles, pulling her hand out of his grasp and bathing in his complaining whines as she pulls off her shirt. He blinks up at her, watching her boobs bounce in the push-up bra she's wearing before she unhooks it and slides it off her shoulders. He blinks again and swallows whatever drool and saliva has gathered in his mouth, causing his Adam's apple to pop along with the action. She smiles at the sight and quickly bends down to leave a swift kiss on it.

"Take off your shirt." She commands him, and he does so without hesitation, throwing the garment somewhere on the floor of the room he shares with his twin brother. He watches her hands intensely as she teases him by running her thumb on the inside of her trouser's elastic, before slowly pulling the item down and off. He groans at the sight of his favorite panties on her; a partially lacey red thong that settles up between her butt cheeks. She always told him how uncomfortable it made her, but the look on his face when he saw it on her made every second she spent wearing it worth it.

"You're trying to kill me, love?" He groans, daring himself to take a dangerous leap and push his thumb against the damp cloth, pushing down on where he knows her clit hides. He glances up at her, watching the way her lips part and her mouth hangs open at his action.

"And what am I to tell George when he asks? Death by a red thong?"

He grins up at her, picking up the speed at which he's rubbing on her bud of nerves. "Only if you're the one wearing it."

She shudders, forcefully holding herself back from grinding against his thumb. Instead, she grips his wrist and pushes it away from her. She hooks two fingers on each side of his trousers and boxers before meeting his eyes, watching as he licks his lips and nods before pulling the clothing items down his hips and legs.

His cock bounces out from underneath the fabric happily, it smacks against his lower abdomen and she giggles at the sight of precum beads rolling down his slit. He whines, throwing his arm on his face to cover the embarrassing blush that matched his hair color. "Don't laugh at me, why're you so mean to me today?"

Her giggle grows louder, and she leans down to push his arm off his face. "I never intend on being mean to you, my darling, you just bring it out of me. I'm sorry." She mumbles as she meets his gaze, her hand cupping one side of his face and he leans towards her touch. "Don't hide from me, yeah?"

He nods.

"Good boy."

He whines, his eyes squeeze shut and his jaw drops when her fingers wrap around him again, but her thumb is collecting his precum before spreading it down his length before she works a steady rhythm going up and down. His whines slowly turn into moans. His noises were so heavenly that she could swear her wetness was flowing through the fabric of her thong and onto the skin of her thighs.

She sees his muscles contracting and she stops, removing her hand from him altogether. He opens his eyes, blinking up at her in confusion as a noise of complaint slips out of his throat. But he swallows it back up when he sees her push her thong to the side and spread her folds before sitting on his length, and she grinds back and forth on him without actually allowing him access to her.

He groans, throwing his head back. She's coating him in her juices and there's a delicious squelching noise coming from between them and it's driving him insane. He sucks air into his lungs through clenched teeth and shudders when she allows a single moan to slip through her parted lips.

Suddenly, he's engulfed in her warmth and he hisses. His hands grip tightly to her thighs, hips, and any plump skin he can find. He squeezes her, hissing, and pants until he's sheathed completely inside of her. "Slow down," He gasps, "Slow- slow down, slow down, slow down." His voice turns from low breaths to almost high-pitched whines, and she leans down and captures his lips in a silencing kiss.

"Need you to lay here and keep your pretty mouth shut, darling, can you do that? Can you stay quiet for me so your family doesn't hear us fucking?" He whines, hips bucking into her warm cunt causing his eyes to roll to the back of his head as he nods mindlessly. "Yes, yes, yes. I'll be quiet. Fuck- please, baby, please fuck me."

She giggles at his desperate whines, and slowly rocks her hips back and forth, just enough movement to send pleasure jolts but not enough to get them going. She was testing the waters, trying to see how loud he could get without giving him much of anything.

Fred was losing his mind, he could feel her walls clamp down on him every time she moved back, and he could feel himself nudging against her feel-good spot every time she moved forward. Her wetness made a mess out of both of them, making it easy to slide into her and pick up the pace.

He arched his back slightly, just enough to hint at her to go faster. Because she was starting to feel frustrated, she obliged. She switched from grinding down on him to bouncing, her knees and hips working overtime to not make a noise every time her ass cheeks met his thighs.

She's now moaning, leaning down to muffle her noises by his neck or breathe them directly into his ear. Fred's eyes roll to the back of his head every time, and his hands grab onto the fat of her hips to help her.

"I-" She gasps, pushing herself upwards, clamping down on him tightly before forcing deep thrusts with her movement. "I'm gonna cum." She whimpers, and her legs begin to shake and fail her. Fred let out a loud breath that turned into a whimper before pushing himself up and, with a tight hold of her hips, forced her up and down his cock.

"Wa- wanna feel you. Wanna feel you gush around me. Give it to me, please." He whines, his words muffled into her temple, his eyes closed as her walls flutter around him, her body shivering against him and her lips part in long whines. One of his hands sneaked in between them, and his thumb drew quick circles around her clit, just enough to electrify her over the edge.

She freezes up, squeezes down on him and Fred is gone. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly down on him, the repeated squeeze of her walls stimulated him over the edge and they were shaking through their highs together. Her hands were buried in his hair, his hands holding onto her hips, while their lips interlocked in an overflowing kiss.

A few seconds later, their mouths parted as they gasped for air, holding onto one another as their highs dwindled. He traced random shapes on her bare back while she scratched at his scalp in a way she knew he loved.

He was the first to pull back, looking up at her with nothing but love and adoration. He tilts his head and grins, "Do you still want to go down for dinner?"

She laughs, heartily and loudly out of his arms and back onto the bed. "If you'll be going downstairs for a plate, get me one with you. There's no way I can look your mum in the eye after this."

#fred weasley #weasley twins #bill weasley #george weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x fem!reader #plus sized reader #harry potter #hp fandom #hp fanfic

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updownlately · 10 months

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too shy to say (but i hope you stay)

| leah williamson x reader | fluff | 3.6k | inspo: come out and play by billie eilish | a/n: got this ask a couple days ago and i just couldn't resist the temptation of grinding this one out! to whoever sent it in, i really hope you're feeling better now and that you like this one!

~~~

You weren’t one to get sick, you really weren’t. In the past handful of years, you could count on one hand the number of times you got sick- flu, cold, food poisoning or otherwise. So when you woke up in the morning, nose all stuffy, a pounding headache making your eyes hurt and the room feeling a bit too hot even for a London summer, you had a gut-sinking inkling of what was going on.

Slowly sitting up, wincing at the increasing intensity of your headache, the movement only seeming to make it worse. hands lethargically coming to rub away the sleep from your eyes, you reached for your phone.

7:54 am. Two hours earlier than you need to be up, just great.

Dropping your phone back onto the nightstand, you contemplated whether going to school or work was even going to be worth it today. You really didn’t want to attend class, already exasperated with the thought of getting ready just to sit in an hour and a half long lecture when you could just take a look at the slide deck online.

Plus work…did you ever really want to go? Sure you had great coworkers and all, but work was work. And the idea of being a human punching bag for customers that were already unhappy with their lives wasn’t something you thought you were capable of today.

Making the decision then and there, you shot off a quick text to your manager and then your friends, letting them know you wouldn’t be able to make it today.

Tossing your phone aside and sinking back into your sheets, you ignored the slight dampness of your forehead, more content to just hopefully sleep off whatever it was that you had.

~~~

You hated this. You hated being sick. It hadn’t even been more than a half hour since you had originally woken up, yet here you were again, stuffy nose making it near impossible to breathe comfortably. Oh how you dearly missed when your nose wasn’t plugged.

Groaning in annoyance, you swallowed audibly, trying to keep your frustration at bay.

The scratchiness of your throat made every second that you were awake painful and all you wanted to do really was sleep, but then the congestion in your chest made that near impossible. Couple the two with the pounding headache and the way your whole body ached and you really didn’t know what to do. All you knew was the it really fucking sucked.

Eyes closing, you quickly ran through what you needed to do in order to get better. Remembering from when you were a teen and had to take care of your brothers, you made a mental list. Painkillers, cough syrup, tissues, sweet caroline- wait? sweet caroline?

Snapping out of your thoughts, you focused into the present, hearing your phone ringing beside you, the ringtone reserved for a singular special person.

Picking up the phone, you let a small smile spread across your face at the caller ID.

“Morning Leah.” Your voice came out much scratchier than normal and you silently hoped that the blonde didn’t notice. “Morning love, how are you doing? I hope I didn’t wake you? I was just getting ready to head out, thought I’d ring you.”

You hummed in response, contemplating whether you should tell the English skipper of your current state. You didn’t want her to worry about you, especially not when her own knee issues were currently bothering her.

“I’m okay. And no you didn’t wake me, in fact I’m glad you called, I was missing you,” you hummed.

No sooner than as the words left your mouth, you could hear Leah going on about something at the other end of the line, continuing the conversation, but you couldn’t pay attention- not when your eyes were involuntarily closing, hearing momentarily pausing as your body geared up to sneeze.

Once, then twice, and then a handful more times, you could feel your whole body jolt with each one, room spinning in between.

It was after your fifth consecutive sneeze that you finally had a moment of reprieve. Gathering your bearings, you brought the phone that you had accidentally thrown to the side back up to your ear.

“Sorry about that, had to sneeze.”

“Really? Couldn’t tell,” the cheeky reply caused you to smile and roll your eyes. “You sure you’re doing okay though? Your voice sounds a bit nasally and while normally that wouldn’t be concerning, you just sneezed like 800 times in a row.

“Ha-ha very funny Ms. Captain. I appreciate your concern but I’m most definitely fine. Just the dust y’know?”

“Hey! Uncalled for…” You could almost feel her pout through the phone, glad that your slight distraction worked, or so you thought.

“Well since you’re doing fine, you wouldn’t mind if I FaceTimed you right now, right?”

“I mean I just woke up, I look terrible so I do mind,”

“Oh shush, I’ve seen you wake up, and must you know, I find the sight quite appealing,”

“Flirt”

“Sicko”

“Allegedly”

You were about to continue your protests of being okay, mouth opening to tell Leah that you were just tired, but a coughing fit cut you off, a dial tone faintly heard in between your sharp inhales.

Just as you got yourself collected, the phone in your hands started buzzing again, this time Leah popping up on your screen, a sweet smile on her face.

“Doing okay huh? Sure Rudolph.”

“My nose can’t be that red, surely? I’ve only been up for about a little bit.”

“Baby you look like you haven’t slept in weeks.”

“Thanks” you grumbled.

Rolling her eyes fondly, Leah continued. “Listen I have to head to rehab soon but after that I’m dropping by, and don’t even try to discourage me.”

“Leah I’m fine, I swear, just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I’ll be good in a couple hours.”

“Nope…not taking no for an answer. I’ve got to drive out now but you make sure to eat and hydrate okay? I’ll be over as soon as I can. I love you.”

Not having any energy to fight the headstrong blonde, you had no choice but to agree. “I love you too…bye you stubborn skipper.”

Letting leah cut the call, you let out another groan. You didn’t want the footballer to worry about you, very much well aware that she had enough on her plate already. Unfortunately for you, it turns out you and her had something in common, your high levels of stubbornness a shared quality.

Unwilling to be in such a disheveled state when Leah dropped by in a few hours, you decided to quickly grab a shower and freshen up, to maybe even try and get a few bites of food in so that you could take some medicine.

Untangling yourself from the warmth of your sheets, you stood up to leave, room immediately spinning faster than the rides at a fair. Today was going to be a long day…

~~~

Eight months into a relationship…is that enough time to be doing this? Leah couldn’t help but ponder that exact question, turning your apartment key in her hands. You had given it to her at the 5 month mark for your relationship, citing it would be helpful in the case of an emergency. She hadn’t used it once though, at least not until now.

See, she would’ve more than happily waited for you to answer your door, but the problem was that you weren’t. After a handful of knocks, a few missed calls, and double-digits of minutes waiting, Leah figured that it would be okay to use it now, right?

Slightly worried for your wellbeing as well, deciding that at worst you’d be a little upset, Leah went ahead and unlocked the door. Better an upset girlfriend than one stuck in a poor situation of any sort.

Slowly easing the door open, the eerie silence of your apartment had the blonde concerned. You weren’t one to live in silence, always having some album or playlist playing through your speakers in the house. It seemed that the sickness was hitting you harder than she had initially thought.

Placing the grocery bag in her arms onto the floor, the skipper made quick work of her shoes, shutting the door behind her and locking it.

Quietly padding to the island, she began to empty out the contents of the bag to sort them out. Taking out the items, she laid them out in front of her, trying to recall what item was needed as per the instructions of her mum.

Grabbing the cough syrup, painkillers, cough drops, a glass of water, and a thermometer, Leah set the items on a tray and started the trek to your bedroom.

She really hoped you had ate by now, well aware of her lack of abilities in the kitchen (listen- she made up for it on the pitch okay?)

Pushing your ajar door open, Leah stepped into your dark room. immediately noticing the stuffiness and then the sight of your curled up figure tucked into one corner of the large bed.

Slowly walking further into the room, she placed the tray on your nightstand, one that already seemed littered with a handful of different medications, a box of Kleenex, and what appeared to be a glass of apple juice.

The Englishwoman took a seat on the edge of your bed, hand coming to gently brush against your forehead, pushing your matted baby hairs out of the way. Placing the back of her hand to your now visible skin, like she had experienced her mother do many times with her, Leah felt for a temperature, one that was very apparent from the first few seconds really. You really were, in fact, burning up.

Picking her phone from out of her joggers, the blonde shot off a quick text to her mother, doubling checking what she was supposed to do to help with bringing it down before clicking it off. Placing it back in her pocket, the skipper figured that as tired as you were, it would be a good idea to wake you up to see if you had at least ate or taken any medication.

Running her thumb softly over your cheek, the other coming to rest on your shoulder, Leah slowly rose you out of your slumber, the gentle ministrations causing you to smile subconsciously.

Waking up in a daze, surprised at the feeling of another’s hands on your face, you immediately went to rub at your eyes, not believing the Leah shaped figure at your side.

“You actually came…” Your voice came out hoarse, disbelief laced in the words, the both of you wincing at the scratchiness, before Leah handed you the glass of cool water.

Sipping gratefully, you nearly emptied the whole glass before turning back to your girlfriend.

“Why wouldn’t I have come? You’re not doing well, I’m not going to have you suffer alone.”

“You might get sick too…”

“Worth it,” she shrugged, as if it was that simple of a solution to potentially getting sick.

“Leahhhh,” you dragged out her name, too sleepy to do anything else to confront her.

“Listen, I know how much you hate being sick, and you don’t get sick often either, so let me take care of you okay? Please? And then when I get sick you can return the favour? How does that sound?”

Shaking your head, you let out a huff. “You’re too stubborn for your own good.”

“You love me for it”

“Yeah, I wonder why sometimes.”

“Only sometimes?”

“Always”

“Good”

“Leah…” you shook your head at her antics, the smile on your face betraying the annoyed facade you had on.

“I love you.”

You huffed, crossing your arms and choosing not to reply. At your prolonged silence, Leah started poking your cheeks, her fingers gently prodding your face.

“Say it back. C’mon, you have to. Baby…say it back so I can start taking care of you.”

Sighing in amusement at her persistence and never ending poking, you lethargically reached out to grab her hands, stopping both right before they hit your cheek for the umpteenth time.

“I love you too, you pain.”

Grinning in victory, Leah wiggled her right hand free and patted your cheek. “Okay good. Now, with that done, I need you to open your mouth, gotta take your temperature to see what we’re working with here.”

Saluting her, an “aye aye nurse Leah” escaping your lips, you waited as she prepped the thermometer before placing it carefully in your mouth.

Wincing as it went under your tongue, your mind flashed back to when your mother would do this to you as a kid, the uncomfortableness of it not escaping you even after nearly fifteen years had passed.

“Everything okay? I didn’t place it down awkwardly or too rough, right?”

You nodded the best you could with the thermometer in your mouth, carefully to not jostle it around too much, heart melting at her attentiveness. Blinking your eyes and turning up the sides of your lips slightly, you hoped that she got the message that you were okay.

When you took the thermometer out a minute later, the electronic screen read a 38.9º, you knew you nearly had a high fever.

Checking her phone, Leah confirmed the same.

“Are you asking Google if my fever is high?” you asked, body shaking with slight laughter.

“I-“ A slight blush crossed your girlfriend’s face, one barely visible if it wasn’t for the illumination of her phone. “I had my mum send me a short guide on what I need to do for what situation…I’m just reading that.” she admitted shyly.

“Oh Leah…” you nearly melted, a pout appearing on your face. “I love you.”

Her bashful smile growing into a more confident one, Leah reiterated the sentiment with joy, never one to shy away from reminding you just how much she cared for you.

“Okay so according to this, placing a cool, damp washcloth on your forehead might help with the fever, and so will taking some Paracetamol…speaking of, have you eaten yet?”

You couldn’t help but smile softly at Leah’s rambling and question. You knew the blonde was protective and cared greatly not only for you but for everyone in her life, but getting to be on the direct receiving end of it? it was a feeling like no other, and you were sure that the warmth coursing through your body right now was more than just the fever, Leah’s affection bringing you a sense of comfort even as chills wracked your body.

“I did…had a feeling you wouldn’t want to step into the kitchen so I had a sandwich about…” You checked the time on your phone, “…two hours ago? Is that enough?”

“I’m assuming ideally you’d want to eat within at least the last hour of taking the medicine. You think you’d be up for that?”

“Leah, love, the better question here is whether you think you’re up for cooking, seeing as I don’t have anything ready to eat in my fridge right now.”

“I brought some food with me.”

Throwing your head back in appreciation, the words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them.“Leah…god I could marry you right now.”

“In sickness and health am I right?” came the cheeky reply almost instantly.

You rolled your eyes in good nature, your smile permanently stuck on your face it seemed, a giddy feeling overtaking you.

“Eventually.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded in response, too afraid you’d ask her to marry you on the spot with the way she was so tenderly taking care of you right now.

Shooting you an award-winning smile, Leah carefully made her way off the bed, going to clean the thermometer and grab the food options that she brought.

Returning within minutes, she had somehow managed to bring in a whole plate with an assortment of food.

“Alright, so from what I was told, these would be the best foods for you right now…I’ve got apple slices, a few sandwiches, some assorted cut up fruit- none that will irritate your throat though- and a couple other snacks.”

You couldn’t help but stare at the defender in shock, mind appalled at seeing first-hand the level of effort she had gone through.

Blinking once, then again, you looked between the food and then back at her, going back and forth a few times before closing your eyes due to the dizziness.

“Everything okay love?”

“I- you did so much…you’re doing so much…I-,” you stumbled out, not sure how to properly express your gratitude.

“Honey, you deserve to be taken care of, you know that right? I’m just giving you what you deserve. And we both know you’d do the same for me, no hesitation, so let me do it for you alright?” And just like that, the defender knew exactly how to crush all your intrusive thoughts with just a few sentences.

Nodding dumbfoundedly at just how well she knew you, you grabbed a sandwich, unwrapping it and taking a bite.

Swallowing, you used your free hand to grab another sandwich, holding it out to the englishwoman.

“Have you eaten? I’m assuming with how much effort went into this and the fact that you had rehab, breakfast was the last thing you had?”

Leah took the sandwich in your hands without much protest, confirming your thoughts.

Between bites, she talked you through what she planned for the next little bit, checking with you on what you needed as well.

The pair of you eventually decided that you’d have your medication and then let Leah try and lessen your fever with a some damp washcloths, after which the pair of you would likely settle down for a movie, putting as much space as you could between one another to limit the likelihood of transmission (spoiler alert: it really didn’t do much).

Letting yourself be loved, you both quickly finished off the food before cleaning up, Leah taking the tray and the dishes to the kitchen to put those in the sink, and you opening up your windows and tidying your room slightly.

Just as you made your way back to your side of the bed, Leah came back into the room, arms full of the necessary things required for the lessening of your temperature.

As you watched her quietly get settled beside you, you really couldn’t believe you had gotten this lucky. No one was really there to take care of you besides your stressed mother as a child and thus, you hated being sick, not wanting to burden the already stressed woman. Now though, with the blonde defender that was here, taking care of you in every aspect, not letting you suffer alone, you figured that if it always led to this, that you’d take the lonely days as a childhood in stride in every universe, as long as she ended up in your life.

And as you both finally settled down for a movie, fever waned down enough for it to be considered mild, nearly non-existent, fingers just barely intertwining in the large gap between your two bodies, you let the tiredness in your body settle, the love you had for the other girl calming your anxiety of being stressed, bringing you peace.

You knew you were lucky, the way Leah knew you so well. How she decided to visit even though you’d be fine alone. How she sensed to bring you food and take care of you, well aware you could manage by yourself but not wanting you to. How she knew to visit, even though you were hesitant to ask. You dearly hoped that this would be your life for a long time, not the sickness but the love, hoping it could grow, the flowers of it creating a garden in your hearts.

Yawning, you squeezed Leah’s hands three times, a silent ‘i love you’, as you let her presence lull you to sleep, body sated with food and love, just rest left to do. Eyes closing, you silently appreciated her love as she tucked you in, unaware of your half-awake state. By the time the tiredness overtook you, you knew that you’d wholeheartedly do anything for the blonde, just like she had done for you, wanting to be the one she took care of for the rest of her life, wanting to be the one who got to take care of her, to make her smile, to love her to ends of the universe and back.

Smiles on the both of your faces, the two of you fell asleep partway through the movie, hands slowly itching towards the other, bodies slightly tangling, puffs of breaths in the increasingly smaller space between you two as your limbs found each other, your face eventually tucking into the crook of her neck, her arms wrapping around you.

Maybe, just maybe, being wasn’t that terrible after all. Not when you had her to take care of you, to love you, to stay when you were too shy to ask.

(And lucky enough for you, you very much got the chance to shower her in as much, if not more love when she inevitably, shockingly, somehow magically, got sick only a few days later. Wonder how that happened…)

#leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #fluff #my writing #fic req #fic #tsts

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beatleswings · 1 year

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PAUL and LINDA McCARTNEY on their wedding day. March 12, 1969.

#it was 54 years ago today #happy anniversary lovebirds 💖💖#i love them so much 😭😭#paul mccartney #linda mccartney #panda #1960s #60s #1969 #my gifs #beatlesedit #beatlegirlsedit #flashing #tw flashing

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jaegeraether · 3 months

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Sunsets and footballers (Part 64)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (54) / Alexia Putellas x Character (23)

Masterlist (other parts here)

Join our WOSO Discord chat! Link in bio :)

((**4.5k**))

Ridley POV

“She’s handled this very, very well.” Ridley murmured to Lucy.

Lucy nodded, looking so fatigued it was almost comical. “She and Joe were up all night doing crisis management.”

“You as well it seems?”

“She made me get some sleep for the game. I think I managed a few hours.”

They’d just arrived and were standing in the kitchen area, watching Blue on the phone again, giving another interview. She’d released a video stating that JK Rowling was in no way involved with the company, and the way she said it was impressive to Ridley because it was almost toying with Mark. Anyone who watched would have absolutely believed her when she almost mockingly denied the rumours with a virtually stress-free and amused demeanour. On top of that, her boss had somehow managed to get JK Rowling to post a video statement saying she was not involved, and that a year ago she remembered having accepted and agreed to the request that this new company also be allowed to be named Lumos. Mark was officially looking like a twat. But even more interestingly, it made Ridley wonder who this obviously rich and influential ‘Joe’ actually was.

Ridley watched Blue proudly as she expertly navigated her way through the drama. She’d always been great with people.

“I figured since you look like someone fed you after midnight.”

Lucy scoffed, her eyes moving from Blue to the food the pair had brought over, and back. She couldn’t help but shake her head and smirk at the sound of Lucy’s stomach grumbling. Blue must have heard too because she looked over and gestured for her to start eating without her. Lucy shook her head and crossed her arms. It appeared Lucy had her priorities straight which satisfied Ridley.

She looked down at Chiquito who was being vetted thoroughly by Narla, and her heart string tugged watching him sit patiently waiting, his tail curled around his body and resting atop his paws. He slow blinked at her a few times before his attention turned behind Ridley, and that’s when she realised that Alexia had been far, far too quiet during the whole exchange which alerted Ridley to her intentions. She heard Alexia before she saw her and as she went to attack, Ridley spun and ducked, her arm going around her neck in a chokehold. She pressed her body up against her back, enjoying the feel of her ass against her core and murmured in her ear. “Nice try, la Reina, but you’re too predictable.”

Alexia fought against her until she let her go and turned with a frustrated expression that Ridley enjoyed far too much. She’d been teaching her self-defence all morning and Alexia now seemed to have a new hobby of trying to catch her off guard. It hadn’t been successful thus far, though Ridley had been enjoying this new, playful side to her. “How?!”

“You were too quiet. And then too loud right before you went for it. And then then there was Chiquito.” She reached out and patted her cheek. “We’ll get you there, kid.”

Alexia smacked her hand away and Ridley couldn’t help but smirk. She loved how independent she was. The pair had also gotten a lot closer recently as they were enjoying building their friendship amongst the feelings. The strength it had taken Ridley thus far to not act on her almost-paralysing attraction to her had been the farthest she’d ever tested her discipline.

“Hey Riddles.”

Ridley looked over at her Blue who was now off the phone and smiling at her. She walked over and leapt over the couch, ducking to kiss her cheek.

“Hey baby Blue. You look happy.”

“All he’s done is give us a whole lot of promotion. And with JK’s statement… this is just great. I’m hoping to put out the promo today for Alexia’s interview to ride that popularity wave.”

“Great idea.”

That was another one of the reasons they were there. Alexia was going to review the interview and say if she was happy for it to be published.

“I’ll show you over lunch Alexia, just to make sure you’re happy with it and we can make any changes you want.” She smiled at the Spaniard as Lucy reached over the back of the couch to give her girlfriend some love.

“Thank you.” Alexia replied as she sat on the couch near Blue. Hearing her speak in English always did something to Ridley.

“Luce, you should have started eating, your stomach is so loud that it almost interrupted the interview,” Blue laughed as she held her head close to her cheek with her good arm.

“I wanted to wait for you,” Lucy murmured in response with a kiss on the cheek.

They both looked tired – Blue more so of course, and so Alexia and Ridley had thought it would be a good idea to bring lunch over before the girls went to the game. However as she watched them, Ridley grew suspicious and her eyebrows frowned.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“You two.”

They both looked amusedly confused.

“You two have been having sex. And now that I think about it, it even smells like sex in here. The fuck are you doing, Bronze?”

The pair looked sheepishly guilty.

“What are you, a sex sniffer dog?”

“Please tell me it was just once.”

Their expressions didn’t change.

“She’s a fucking walking bruise!”

“To be fair… my bruises are healing really well now…”

“You know what I mean. You have more breaks than a Kit-Kat Blue - you need to be careful.”

“We are. Very careful, aren’t we?” She turned her head slightly to look at Lucy. “And very creative.”

“Argh.” Ridley reacted disgustedly before tilting her head as she looked over Blue’s bandaged body. “Actually, the logistics would be fun…”

“Right?!” Lucy agreed.

Ridley scoured. “I’m still disappointed in you two.”

Blue shrugged and winced hard at her collarbone, Ridley’s stomach dropping as she did so. “As long as we’re happy. And to defend Lucy, it took a lot of convincing to-”

“Please don’t finish that sentence.”

Blue grinned and Ridley couldn’t help but smirk in response. She was happy. So, so happy and Ridley loved that. And the way Lucy looked at her… like she was her entire world.

Ridley looked over to Alexia who now held Chiquito in her lap, studying the pair and must have had the same thought as her eyes met Ridley’s.

Ridley had never wanted somebody so bad in her life. God, she was beautiful. She’d fallen asleep on her shoulder last night, her body twitching until she was fast asleep and breathing deep, sleepy breaths. The footballer had naturally cuddled her body to her own and it made her feel… a lot. And something she wasn’t ready to name just yet. Ridley had spent a good amount of time just studying her as she slept and eventually, she’d let herself fall asleep with her head on her own.

Ridley hadn’t slept that well in a long time. She was grateful that Alexia had used that favour because she couldn’t even admit to herself how much she’d wanted to stay. And then there had been the morning. Ridley had waited for her to wake, slowly twitching and coming back to life. She’d been apologetic for falling asleep on her, yet they both knew she didn’t mean it, and that Ridley hadn’t minded. It had changed something in her, just knowing that she was there next to her and safe, happy and comfortable. It took away that feeling of almost stress that she experienced as she lay in her hotel room staring at the ceiling and wondering if Alexia were feeling those things.

They’d spent the morning working out as it was an important part of their lives, and then another hour or so on the gym mat practicing self-defence. It had only been the basics, but the both of them had enjoyed being so close to each other, their sweaty bodies moving against one another as they’d tussled on the mat. There were multiple time when they’d moved or ground not because they had to, but because they had an excuse to feel each other like that. There was only one point where Alexia had almost gotten the upper hand, and that was because she’d distracted Ridley with a look of lust she failed to hide.

Lucy’s stomach interrupted her thoughts.

She looked over at Blue chuckling and reaching back to stroke Lucy’s belly. “Thanks for bringing lunch, guys. What did you end up bringing?”

“Sushi.”

“Ohh I’ve been craving that!”

“You’ve been craving everything, Luce.”

Lucy came around the couch to pick up Blue and move her to the kitchen table. “Ale, I’ll set you up with my laptop so you can watch now if you want?”

She watched a happy smile form on Alexia’s face at the shortening of her name. Her stomach felt strange in a good way. Blue was the most important thing to her and Alexia getting along with her was very, very important to her. So much so she didn’t even realise herself.

Alexia and Ridley set up the sushi they’d bought on the table, their fingers brushing and bodies seemingly wanting to be near each other. It was something she wasn’t used to, and she liked it. A lot.

Alexia sat at the laptop Blue had set up for her and put on her headphones, watching the interview while she ate her lunch.

“Will Chiquito eat this?” Lucy asked from the kitchen, holding up a can of Narla’s food.

“He’ll eat anything, but he prefers a specific brand. I brought him some, it’s in the bag there.”

Lucy nodded and laid the food out for the pets. “Don’t worry, Narla won’t steal his food.”

“I’m not,” she laughed. “He’d never let her.”

“Sit here Riddles…” Blue said, pointing to the chair next to her. She’d wanted to sit next to Alexia but she was at the other end of the table. She was about to question it when she saw the iPad set up in front of them.

“Sit.”

Ridley raised an eyebrow and sat, Lucy sitting on the other side of her and already choking down sushi. Blue fiddled around with the iPad and suddenly the trio were staring at her nan and brother. Now it made sense.

“Hey nan! Hey bro! I have Luce and Riddles here.”

“Hello, it’s so good to see you all!”

“Put the camera down nan, we just see your forehead,” Ben laughed.

“Oh… is that better?”

“Yes.” They all said in unison.

“Hey Riddle-me-this, it’s been a while,” Ben grinned. He looked and sounded much older and than when she’d spoken to him last.

“Hey mate, up to trouble lately?”

“Only what you taught me.”

“Oh Ridley you look so good, lovey. It’s so good to see you.” Nan said. She didn’t realise how much she missed them.

“It’s really good to see you both too.” She said with emotion. It was a great surprise.

“We just want to hear from you. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“Yes, nan.”

She looked over the iPad and caught Alexia’s eye. It looked like she’d paused the video and was listening to them. She didn’t look surprised which meant Blue had told her about their video call, and her eyes held sympathy and curiosity. She gave her a reassuring smile before pressing play on her video again.

“Christ, sis, you look shit. Are those bruises?”

She nodded. They could only see the upper half of their bodies so it was just the sling and bruising, but she knew she would have told them both the full story. She was always honest with them. “Yes, but it’s almost gone. I should be able to put weight on my knee soon.” She turned to Lucy with that look Ridley had seen multiple times. “Luce has been taking really good care of me.”

“Oh Lucy you’re looking so good!” Nan praised. Lucy smiled and gulped down a piece of sushi.

“Thanks nan, you’re looking well. Hey Ben, whereabouts are you at the minute?”

“Kyoto living my best life.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve been there, it’s a whole other world. I loved it.”

“When did you go?”

“Uh 2021 Tokyo Olympics. We travelled around and explored while we were there. Have you learnt any of the language?”

“Yeah… I’m getting there. It’s hard but I can have conversations.”

“That’s a big achievement to be able to do that, though. Well done, just keep practicing yeah? Even if you leave, keep on top of it.”

“For sure I will, I have a lot of friends here now.”

“Good! It’s hard to make friends overseas, especially when you speak different languages so that’s amazing.”

“Thanks Lucy.”

Ridley didn’t miss Blue’s proud smile.

“Do you remember when you two said you’d be excited to come over for a game one time? Well YFN and I have been talking and we were hoping you’d come over for Christmas? All expenses paid, of course. We have accommodation here and I’ll pay for the flights-”

“-flights will be free.” Ridley interjected.

“And Ridley and I will argue over who’s paying for flights.” Lucy continued. Blue chuckled between them.

“Really?!” Ben sounded excited.

“Are you sure it’s not too much trouble?” Nan asked.

“All expenses paid.” Blue promised. “Riddles will be here, you’ll get to meet Luce, her family are excited to meet you two as well. It’ll be a happy little white Christmas like you’ve never had, nan.”

“I’m in. Come on nan, we need to go!”

“I’m getting old…”

Ridley jumped in. “It’s first class, nan, so you’ll have a bed on the plane. It’s like a hotel. You’ll board first and I’ll have people with you the entire way. I can come to pick you up, if you’d like?”

“No, no.. it’ll be fine, Ben can help me. You’ve already done so much for us.” She adjusted her glasses and squinted at the camera. “You’re looking so well, lovey. We really miss seeing you.”

“I miss you too nan. I’ll be here for Christmas, yeah?”

“Off to England it is, then!”

Lucy clapped, excited. “I’ll let my family know.”

“Do you have a game we can come see you play at, Lucy?” Ben asked, genuinely admiring her.

“Lionesses have their last games of the year next week, so not for England, but I have some late December matches with Barcelona if you don’t mind a little trip over to Spain.”

“Ohh YFN said the food is great.”

“The food is the best part.”

“And Barcelona are iconic. I can’t wait to see la Reina up close.”

Ridley looked over to Alexia to see if she’d heard it. She was zoned out looking at Ridley, blinking out of it when she was caught.

“Well today’s your lucky day.” Blue laughed.

Ridley caught Alexia’s eyes and gestured with her head towards them. She took her headphones off and came to stand behind and join them, her hands on the back of Ridley and Blue’s seats respectively. When Ridley looked back at the screen, Ben was bright red and staring like he didn’t believe it.

“Uh… hello…” Alexia greeted, not knowing why she was there.

“Th… that… that’s…”

“Is that the one you have a crush on?” Nan asked.

Lucy and Blue laughed. “No nan, I said she’s hot.”

“You said it a lot of times,” she responded, not realising how embarrassed he was.

“You do realise she can hear you, right?” Ridley said. “Nan, Ben, this is Alexia Putellas. Nan, she’s the Captain of both Barcelona and Spain, and she’s known as the greatest female footballer to ever play.”

“I’m right here.” Lucy responded with a mouthful.

“Don’t worry Luce, you’re still my number one.”

Lucy grinned. “I’m getting old.”

“Stop that.” She admonished and gave her a light slap.

“Hello nan, Ben. It’s nice to be meeting you.”

“Are you coming for Christmas Alexia?”

“Nan, she has her own family!”

“Well they’re friends so I don’t know.”

“Uh, normally I have Christmas in Barcelona with my family,” Alexia said slowly in broken English.

“Yeah I thought so, sorry, I think nan’s excited about Christmas.”

“Nan are you trying to hook Ben up?”

“Well it doesn’t hurt to try does it?”

Alexia laughed behind them – one of Ridley’s favourite sounds.

“What about Riddle-me-that? She’s older than me.”

“Oh yes, Ridley are you bringing someone to Christmas?”

Lucy choked, Blue laughed into Lucy’s shoulder and Alexia smothered an amused sound behind her.

“Still single.”

“Oh that’s a shame.”

“Why’s it a shame, we’re living our best single lives.” Ben said.

“Well it’s nice to have someone…”

“Ridley and I aren’t like that nan.”

“Oh rubbish, everyone’s like that. You’ll find a good one sooner or later Ridley.”

Ridley sighed. If only they knew the woman she wanted was right behind her. “Thanks nan.”

The rest of the conversation was catching up and organising Christmas. Ridley lifted Chiquito to introduce him to them while Alexia excused herself to watch the rest of the interview. Ridley worried how much she was watching though as she felt her eyes drift to her often. She didn’t blame her, Ridley herself was tempted to look at her but managed to keep her focus on the people she considered family.

“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” Alexia asked from behind her.

God that voice. Ridley always needed to build up something inside her before she looked at her. She turned and smiled, holding up her phone. “No surprise attack?”

“It looked like a serious phone call.”

Ridley hummed. “I’ve pushed back a few meetings until tomorrow.”

“And they agreed?”

“That’s the great thing about being the boss.”

Alexia nodded and took a step forward onto the grass. “Did you do it to spend time with Blau?”

She knew her so well. “Yes, just a few hours. She needs her sleep.” She looked inside to where Blue was giving Lucy a kiss goodbye.

“You’re leaving now?”

“Yes…”

“Ah, come to say goodbye did you?”

“I wanted to know where you’d be staying tonight...”

Ridley let a moment of silence hang in the air. God knows where she wanted to be. “My later meetings are in the hotel.”

She wasn’t lying. Most would be in the hotel… on a video call. One actual face to face in the conference room.

She nodded like she knew that would be the answer. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

The wind blew a strand of her hair loose. That beautiful hair. Ridley was obsessed with it. She stepped close and tucked it back where it belonged, unable to not meet Alexia’s big hazel eyes staring up at her. She knew she shouldn’t go over there, it was too risky. But how could she say no to that face?

“Well I do need to make sure you’re properly trained to protect yourself.”

Her smile softened her face and she looked down, nodding. Ridley’s reaction was immediate. Again, something she shouldn’t do. Her fingertips found the spot just below her chin and lifted her head. “Shall we say nine o’clock?”

“I’ll cook breakfast,” she breathed.

The temptation to kiss her was overwhelming. Ridley’s eyes wandered to her pink lips and she needed to step away from her to not lose herself.

“I’ll see you then. Don’t forget to pick up Chiquito after the game.”

“I’d never forget him.”

Ridley stared at the photos Alexia and Lucy had posted and her insides did that thing she wasn’t used to. ‘Feeling’ she knew Blue would say if she told her. Feeling. Never before had she studied someone so closely. She zoomed in on her face, that smile in the stands with Lucy, her beanie on because she was cold and used to the Spanish weather. Her happy hazel eyes and slightly upturned pink lips. Ridley had dreamed about those far, far too often. She should have gone with them. What if she needed another jacket?

Ridley forced her phone down and looked at Blue responding to another message. She was about five minutes from falling asleep.

“Lucy being needy?”

Blue chuckled. “Always, but I love that. No, it’s Leah worried about tonight.”

“Oh?”

“She was at the Arsenal game with Luce and Ale but now she’s on her way to surprise Jordan at her game in Birmingham.”

“Oof. Two hour drive. Very cute, though. Your idea?”

“Maybe…”

Ridley rolled her eyes. “It has you written all over it, Blue.”

She put her phone down. Narla was on one side of her, curled up and Chiquito was exploring the house, ever the curious cat.

“Come here.” She said, patting the couch to the right of her.

Ridley could have said something funny, but she didn’t. Blue’s expression was too serious for that.

“What can I do for you, madam?” She asked, sliding next to her.

“It’s what you can do for yourself…”

“Ah, of course. You just can’t stop worrying about everyone else, can you?”

“Riddles-”

“You know. Better than anyone else. You know what I’ve done.”

“And yet I’m still here.”

“She deserves better-”

It was Blue’s turn to interrupt. “Better than someone who will her protect her with every fibre of her being? Someone who will always do what’s best for her and not themselves?”

“This is what’s best for her.”

“Don’t take away her choices, Riddles.”

Ridley sighed. “You seem worried.”

“I’m worried you’re going to make the mistake of pushing away the best person in your life.”

“You’re the best person in my life.”

“Riddles, it’s different, you know that. I just… I don’t want you to make a mistake of hurting her to push her away…”

“Oh come on, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve slept around to give someone a hint.” It was harsh, but Ridley needed to be to avoid her own emotions.

“You’d never with her. And the difference is that you never liked the people you were pushing away.”

“I liked some.”

“Only for sex. And not like this.”

Ridley sighed. “And how, pray tell, do you know there is something more to my ‘liking’ of Alexia.”

“Because you’re my best friend, and I see the way you look at her.”

“Mmn. I do wonder what advice you’ve given her about this whole situation, though.” Ridley watched her intelligent eyes pondering that she’d been caught. Of course Ridley knew she’d give advice to Alexia, because she was always trying to help without being too pushy. To be her benefit, she didn’t look stressed or surprised at all.

“And why would I ever speak to you about personal things I talk to Alexia about?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you’re my best friend.” Ridley teased, repeating her.

She rolled her eyes and gave that dimply smile, shaking her head.

“What?”

“I know you were mocking me, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that before.”

Ridley tilted her head. Had she not? “You know what you are to me.”

“It’s nice to hear it sometimes though.” She said kindly, though Ridley knew it was a polite reminder.

She nodded and reached out to touch that scar over her eyebrow, a reminder of how cruel people could be. She’d sacrificed her own body so that she’d have no such scars and now… now she needed to trust that Lucy would protect her when she wasn’t there.

“You are my oldest friend. My best friend. Someone I would happily do anything for. I respect your opinion above all others, and I trust you with my entire being. I’m sorry I don’t say that enough.”

She cupped her cheek when she saw her getting upset, the tears forming in her eyes. She tried to nod to stop them from falling, but she was always the more openly emotional of the two. “I love you Riddles. I love that we’ve been around each other so much more recently. A… and I don’t want that to change.” She looked down and sniffed. “I know you like your space to go off and explore and be independent, and I said I was okay with it but truthfully… I love having you in my life. You’re such a big part of me. I feel like something is missing when you’re not around.”

Her words hit her hard. She was always so good at communicating. Ridley didn’t know how much of a burden it had been to be apart and not talking for months at a time. She had assumed the same thing – that she needed her own space for independence and that perhaps they reminded each other too much of their past. It wasn’t like that at all though. They wanted to be around each other. They felt supported in doing so.

Ridley moved closer and gently pulled her into her neck. “I feel the same, Blue.” She kissed her hair. “I’m sorry, I had no idea. From now on, I’ll be here as long as you want me around, okay?”

“N…not if you don’t want t-”

“Trust me, I want to.”

Ridley had always kept an eye on her from afar without her knowing. Where she was, what she was doing, who she was doing it with. That protective nature of hers was never-ending when it came to Blue. Knowing all of that had made it easier, but she’d never thought before of just how Blue had felt not knowing where she was or with who, or if she were happy. She should have reached out more.

“I love you, Blue. I’m right here.”

She felt her relax at that reassurance they both needed so badly. ‘I’m right here.’ She’d heard Lucy say it to her multiple times and knew just why she’d fallen in love with her. She supported her with that obsessive, all-encompassing love. And when Alexia had said it to her… she’d almost given herself completely to her right then and there.

Blue let out a large breath as her body calmed. “I don’t want to push you. I don’t want to tell you what’s best…” she said as she pulled back far enough to look up at Ridley with red puffy eyes. She needed sleep. “But I love you too much to let you miss out on love, Riddles. And that’s what this is. I know you haven’t admitted it to yourself yet, but she’s perfect for you. And you’re both in love with each other. She’s been here for you since you first saw each other at that bar in Barcelona…um…”

“Javier’s.” Ridley offered in a murmur.

“That’s the one.” She stroked her cheek and Ridley leant into it. “And no one deserves happiness more than you.”

“You do.”

“We both do.” Blue’s thumb stroked down that scar her dad had given her, and her eyes followed it. “Isn’t it finally time for us to both be happy?” Her tired big blue eyes met Ridley’s again. “Don’t we both deserve that?”

Silence followed as they sat like that, and by the time Ridley responded, Blue was already fast asleep.

“I suppose we do.”

164 notes · View notes

matan4il · 4 months

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Daily update post:

Today, two Palestinian terrorists from the city of Hevron had carried out a combined, multi-scene terrorist attack in the city of Ra'anana, killing one woman in her 70's and wounding at least 17 more people. The exact details are still being investigated, but the two terrorists are said to be from one family, 24 and 44 years old, they were denied a work permit in Israel due to terrorist activity in the past, but someone in Ra'anana agreed to hire them illegally. They have both been arrested. The combined method they used was a stabbing and vehicular terrorist attack, they stabbed people, stole the first car, used it to run people over until they crashed it, then they stole a second, then a third car, and continued ramming into people across several streets, before they were stopped. 7 of the injured are reportedly kids, and at least 3 are seriously wounded.

As 136 hostages are still held captive in Gaza, 100 days after Oct 7, we got some data on the treatment of those released roughly 50 days ago: 85 are still under a nurse's supervision, 2 are still hospitalized, 54 are receiving mental health treatment of one type or another, only 18 have returned home, all the rest are still displaced, out of 40 kidnapped kids, 38 were released, but only 21 have returned to the education system, some in their own schools, some in schools improvised for their evacuated community.

In Turkey, an Israeli soccer player, Sagiv Jehezkel, who plays for a local team, scored a goal for it, and raised his hand, revealing to the cameras that on his bandage, he wrote "100 days," drew the Star of David, and added the date of Oct 7. It's obviously a gesture to the Israeli victims of Hamas, the ones murdered during or hurt by the massacre, and the ones still held in captivity.

For this, Sagiv was condemned by the Turkish Football Association, suspended from his team, which annoounced he'd be fired, and then he was ARRESTED and interrogated by Turkish police. For making a humane gesture to honor his country's victims. This is how Sagiv was portrayed in an antisemitic Turkish cartoon, with blood dripping from his lips, evoking the antisemitic image of the Jews who feed on the blood of non-Jewish kids:

Sagiv has been released after an appearance at court, and flown back to Israel immediately, but the head of the Israel Football Association said they're still worried for 2 more Israeli soccer players and 2 Israeli basketballers, who are currently playing for Turkish teams.

Shabak, the Israeli equivalent of the FBI (also sometimes referred to in English as Shin Beit), has confirmed today that Iran is operating social media platforms in Israel, that allow it to harass the families of the Israeli hostages, and Israeli security forces (for example, by exposing their addresses, or sending them flower bouquets with offensive messages). The Islamist regime of Iran is also using these to collect from surveys personal info on Israeli citizens.

I wanna share with you this screenshot from the article, as a reminder that just because someone says online that they're Jewish, or puts "Jewish" in their account name, doesn't make it so.

The chief rabbi of South Africa, Rabbi Warren Goldstein, in protest of his country's decision to file a false lawsuit against Israel at the International Court of Justice, has changed the customary prayer for the well being of the country. He said: "This government is on the wrong side of history. Its support of Iran and its proxies - Hamas and Hezbollah - encourages a global Jihad,and harms Jews and innocent people worldwide. It's impossible to pray for such a government."

This is 36 years old Osama Abu Assa.

He was a Bedouin, from the village of Tel Sheva. On Oct 7, he was at the Nova music festival, and one of about 367 people who were murdered there. I got to hear several people talking about what a huge heart Osama had, how he was all about giving to others and helping people. May his memory be a blessing.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

#israel #antisemitism #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #israelunderattack #terrorism #anti terrorism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish

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magicshopaholic · 2 months

Text

Moving On (Namjoon x OC)

Summary: BTS performs in Amsterdam and Namjoon invites you to the afterparty.

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

Genre: Angst, smut

Word count: 8.2K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: language, angst, sex, nudity, making out, fingering, cumming, arguing,

A/N: Takes place a little over a month after Final Destination.

Tagging: @bbl32, @quarter-life-crisis2, @margopinkerton, @faearchives, @whoisbts, @purpleseoul7, @sumzysworld, @kflixnet (if you want to be added to the taglist, lmk)

Listen to: "where does the good go" by tegan and sara

namjoon masterlist | main masterlist

Joon [13:45] Did you get the email from Big Hit?

Kaya [13:50] Yes

Joon [13:51] The number at the end is their London office. They’ve been briefed already and have additional security available for all European locations.

Kaya [13:54] Okay

There’s a break in the chat here. Kaya stares at the time stamp, trying to picture him scrambling to find something else to say.

Joon [14:15] The company managed to track down the account that uploaded the video. Account has been taken down and they’ve sued for invasion of privacy.

Kaya [14:20] Okay

Joon [14:22] They’ve also offered to add damages to the suit, in case we want that. Do you?

Kaya [14:25] Not really

Joon [14:26] Okay then

Another break. Kaya scans the time stamps again, even though she’s memorised it by now. She remembers the three dots indicating him typing, seeing them appear and disappear over and over again.

Joon [14:40] How are you?

Kaya [14:45] Fine

Joon [14:46] How‘s work?

Kaya [14:48] Fine

Joon [14:50] Kaya I’m trying

Kaya [14:51] Class starting, got to go

He hadn’t responded and she hadn’t expected him to. Four days post break-up hadn’t been nearly long enough for her to let go of her anger but now, four weeks in, it’s only been replaced with an equal amount of sadness and longing.

Every conversation has been exactly this terse and abrupt, the last one being a week ago. It had appeared when she’d been teaching an elective class and it had taken every ounce of her will to not check it until the class ended. As it turned out, she couldn’t even think of a decent response to it.

“How can he possibly think of asking me this?” Kaya mutters, earphones in as she walks home. It’s dusk, a gorgeous time of the day, but she holds no appreciation for it right now.

“Wouldn’t it be worse if he didn’t ask?” Dilara asks reasonably. She’s in her car by the sound of it, a low hum audible of whichever fancy car of hers she’s decided to take out today.

Kaya swallows, pondering this. It might be, but it doesn’t address the problem she’s too embarrassed to voice out loud: it should be harder for him to ask. The thought that he might not be taking this break-up as hard as she is kills something inside of her, as if she’d misunderstood everything in the last three years.

Her strategy to save herself from hearing the truth had been to distance herself from everyone, including Yoongi, who had texted her out of the blue one day to ask her if she was okay (she hadn’t responded); Seokjin, who seemed to skirt the topic altogether and sounded as though he was speaking to someone very sick; and especially Dilara, who Kaya knew would be the only one with the capacity to ask insightful questions that she herself was too afraid to.

“It’s just… strange,” is all she can manage. “He hopped on a flight, shot a few emails, came over and broke up with me and then went right back to his schedule, all in one day. And now he's inviting me to a party?"

“After-party, so it won’t be, like… crazy,” Dilara clarifies. “And the concert before it.”

“I’m definitely not going to his concert.”

“Of course not,” she agrees breezily. “I wouldn’t expect you to. But the party… I mean, it’s a good thing, isn’t it? He doesn’t want you to be strangers.”

Kaya slows down as she approaches the river. She’s taken the long route home today - anything to prolong the commute before another night in her tainted apartment with memories on every surface.

“I don’t know if I want to see him.” I don’t know if I can. “He wants to see me, though, apparently,” she states after a moment.

Dilara doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. “I mean -“ She begins before pausing, then trying again. “I’m sure it’s going to be torture for him to see you. But even that’s better than not seeing you.”

Kaya doesn’t even realise she’d been holding her breath; she exhales as slowly as possible so as to not make a sound, both at Dilara’s words as well as her answering the unasked question.

She doesn’t respond immediately, though. Now that they’re down this route of addressing concerns she’s been harbouring in her heart for weeks, Kaya feels the rest of them on the verge of tumbling out of her mouth.

"You've seen him a bit these last couple of months,” she ventures, lowering her voice and leaning backwards against the railing overlooking the river. “Does it seem like he misses me at all?"

Dilara hums, a little too knowingly for Kaya’s liking. “Of course, he does. He’s not the most expressive when it comes to his feelings but aside from Tae last year, I don't think I've met a more miserable person."

Kaya waits for the swell of happiness or relief at this news, but all it brings with it is a new wave of anger and frustration.

“Thanks.”

"Look, speaking from experience, it's not easy seeing your ex after a difficult break-up,” says Dilara, sighing. “But sometimes you don't realise just how much you needed to see them until you see them, even if it's just to gain some closure."

Closure. It sounds… final. Kaya can’t picture it, being virtual strangers eventually, just bits of each other’s past. Ex-boyfriend, girl of his dreams, the one that got away. She hates all those words because they just don’t apply, not really. They can’t.

She closes her eyes and presses the heel of her palms into them to intercept the wetness forming, not caring that Dilara is still on the other end of the line. She and Namjoon had stood right here, years ago, living in the bliss of a new couple in fresh love. He’d brought her a bunch of tiny yellow flowers from the park, part-cheesy and part-genuine, eyes twinkling and dimples soft.

Kaya squeezes her eyes shut at the memory, terrified at how the edges of it are already blurring.

“I don’t think I’ll go,” she murmurs, opening her eyes to stare at the ground. “I can’t.”

“Are you sure?” Dilara sounds slightly surprised.

“Yeah. Two days from now is… it’s too soon. I’ll either cry or yell or… I don’t know. It’s too hard.”

“Oh.” She’s quiet for a few seconds. “Okay. If you’re sure. Let me know if you want to get together on Sunday,” she adds. “Brunch or something.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

—

The next day, Kaya is in the library again, grading papers and wishing she could go back to being a grad student who’s biggest problem was a pop quiz. She’s deliberately chosen a table at the back, away from where the students generally sit, which is why she looks up in surprise when someone comes to her table.

“H-hi, Kaya.” The student waves rests one hand on the back of an empty hair and waves hesitantly with the other.

“Um… hi.” Kaya tries not to frown too conspicuously, for she’s sure she knows this girl.

Svetlana. Savannah.

“Elena, right?”

“Yeah,” she answers with a nervous smile. “Um… are you busy?”

Kaya glances at the stacks of papers, books and laptop on the table. “Kind of, yeah.”

“Okay. Well… I just wanted to say hi.”

Kaya nods awkwardly and forces a small smile on her face. “Hi.”

Elena nods, tucking her hair behind her ears. She looks like she’s about to leave but at the last moment, sits down at the table. Kaya feels her smile fade for she really, really wants to be alone right now.

“How - how are things going?” She sounds nervous - extremely so. She seems to be fidgeting slightly and constantly touching her hair.

“Great,” says Kaya shortly, going back to her paper and hoping she’ll take the hint. “You?”

“Not bad, overall. I guess. Classes are hard and mid-terms are coming up as well…” Elena trails off. “Any plans for the weekend?”

Trying not to sigh, Kaya shakes her head. “Not really. You?”

“Well… I’m going to a concert tomorrow,” she answers hurriedly, and it’s clear that she’s been waiting to divulge this information, oblivious to how Kaya’s heart stops. “It should be fun. Do - do you listen to BTS?”

An unexpected notification from this morning floats into her kind. BTS continues their Europe leg by arriving in Amsterdam, ready to kick off the summer in style!

“No,” she answers truthfully.

“Oh.” Elena is quiet for a moment. “They’re really… good.”

There’s some awkward silence during which Kaya deliberately writes comments on the paper she’s grading, scratching the pen on the paper and wishing Elena would leave.

“It’ll be good to get out of campus. The people here are kind of intimidating. The parties are pretty wild, too,” she murmurs after a moment, sounding uncomfortable.

Kaya nods absently, uncharacteristically satisfied with the knowledge that she might be intimidating this unwanted guest. “Maybe you’re going to the wrong parties,” she offers.

Elena lets out a nervous laugh again. “Maybe. I never see you at them, though. There’s one, tonight, in the common room. Maybe you could come,” she suggests lightly. “Bring a friend or - or your boyfriend.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” she answers flatly, not looking up.

“You - oh.” There’s a note of surprise in her voice. “Oh,” she repeats, this time seemingly to herself. “Are you sure?” she blurts out.

Kaya’s eyes snap up to glare at her. “Pretty sure.”

Elena’s eyes widen. “Oh, of - of course,” she stutters. “Sorry, that - that was a stupid question. Sorry.” She swallows and looks at her lap.

Kaya closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, immediately feeling guilty for snapping at an innocent bystander in this situation. “Elena, I… I really need to get these papers done,” she tells her, her voice one of forced calm. “So…”

The blonde finally seems to understand and awkwardly stands up. “Okay. Um, see you around,” she says, tucking her hair behind her ear again.

Kaya nods as she leaves, Namjoon’s invitation swimming in her mind tantalisingly. She can’t ignore it anymore, the fact that they’re in the same city, her city. If she’s not wrong, he’ll do the concert tomorrow night, the group will probably stay the night and depart by Sunday afternoon or evening and she will probably never see him again.

She attempts to continue grading the paper she was working on when Elena interrupted, but when she finds herself reading the same stupid sentence for the fourth time without retaining anything, she begins packing up, ready to head home.

—

Joon [18:42] Hope to see you there tonight

Kaya, with a loss as to how to respond to this, simply did not. She can’t imagine he would be texting her during his concert, but she also knows he has before, if the situation was urgent enough to demand it.

She straightens the black dress against her hips and tilts her head at her reflection. It’s a simple dress, plain black, form-fitting and reaching below her knees, but it’s quite possibly the most gorgeous, sexiest dress she owns.

If she and Namjoon were together, she would have worn it tonight with no hesitation because it would have driven him insane. After weeks of being apart, seeing her in this dress would have rendered him incapable of staying in work mode without dirty texts, flirty touches and eyes from across the room undressing her. Even now, with a bare face, her hair tied into a loose bun and no footwear, the dress is a game-changer.

She gives herself a few moments to imagine this paradise, one that might have come true tonight had she never told him about the break-in. Then, she silently unzips the dress and climbs out of the black fabric pooled around her feet. Tucking it back into her closet, she looks for something else.

Dilara [18:50] In case you change your mind, sharing the location here [Location]

Dilara’s text had come minutes after Namjoon’s, and Kaya has to imagine it was a genuine coincidence. Although she’d replied to neither, it was the second text that caused her to change her mind - that, and the lingering fear that if she didn’t go today, she didn’t know how either of them would be able to maneuver a situation to see each other again.

The concert should end in a little over an hour. Her phone pings again and she groans, for she doesn’t think she can take any more of their unsubtle attempts at convincing her to go tonight. It’s not Namjoon or Dilara, though, but Adam Fischer, her thirty-something thesis advisor, asking if she wants to discuss the coming week’s class schedule tonight.

Kaya shakes her head as she types out a reply (Sorry, I can’t tonight. Will set up a meeting for first thing Monday if that’s okay?), a little rueful. Namjoon heavily disliked Adam, despite having no concrete reason for doing so. He’d always suspected Adam of having feelings for her, even though Adam hadn’t said or done anything to make her think he might. Part of her wonders if she could somehow ditch the party for this meeting and still make sure that the news travelled to Namjoon through the grapevine (Dilara), and if that would still piss him off even now.

She immediately cringes at the pettiness of it, however, sending her reply to Adam and heading into the shower.

The party is at the rooftop restaurant of the hotel next to the concert venue, and presumably where BTS is staying while in Amsterdam. It isn’t as crowded as she was anticipating, although the music is fairly loud. It looks more like a fancy houseparty, and even a few seconds in, Kaya can spot a handful of vaguely famous people in attendance. She looks around for a familiar face, preferably Dilara or Yoongi or one of the younger boys, wishing she’d called ahead and trying not to think about the fact that in spite of not RSVP-ing, her name was on the guest list.

She takes another hesitant step in and audibly sighs when she spots Taehyung, who, for reasons best known to himself, has accessorised his outfit with an ascot. He seems to be in an animated conversation with Jungkook, while standing in between them and facing ahead, with loose curls tumbling down her shoulders and looking slightly bored, is…

“Kaya!”

Dilara’s mouth forms her name over the music as she brushes past her boyfriend and his friend and hurries towards Kaya, looking both happy and relieved to see her. “You look hot!” she exclaims when she reaches her.

“Oh -” Kaya looks down self-consciously; she’d settled for a straight strapless top and jeans, unable to justify dressing sexier without seeming like she was trying too hard for her ex-boyfriend. “Thanks. And you look…” She frowns slightly at Dilara’s mini-dress and go-go boots, with a slightly out-of-place gold ring hanging around her neck. “... like Daphne Blake.”

Dilara’s face visibly falls. “I look like a cartoon character?” she asks, wrinkling her nose.

“Well, a very pretty cartoon character,” she adds quickly. “Especially with the headband. But… why?”

She rolls her eyes. “Taehyung picked it - but I’m sure it’s not because of Daphne Blake.” Spotting Kaya’s confused expression, she shrugs sheepishly. “We got into an argument yesterday about who has better taste, so we decided to go shopping at The Nine Streets and pick each other’s outfits for tonight.”

Kaya raises her eyebrows, something seemingly clicking into place. “So the ascot is your doing?”

“M-hm.” She nods in satisfaction before her eyes widen. “Oh, hey! An ascot - like Fred!” She lets out a low whistle at this realisation and laughs, while Kaya nods knowingly, feeling the urge to smile for the first time in what feels like weeks. “Not planned but zero regrets. I wonder if Tae knows that - oh.”

Kaya cuts her off mid-sentence with a hug, suddenly immensely grateful for Dilara. She can’t remember the last time she’d let anyone into her life this much with the exception of Namjoon; but just maybe, when she’d been happy with him and her guard had been lowered, Dilara had slipped in without warning as well.

She tightens her arms around Kaya and rubs her back. “It’s good to see you, too,” she says, sounding part-surprised and part-delighted. “It’s been a while but I promise that we will still - oh, hey.” The change in tone is abrupt. “Incoming.”

By the way her voice immediately lowers, Kaya is sure she knows what Dilara is referring to. Her heart beating a mile a minute, she pulls away from the hug and turns as casually as she can.

Her first thought is that he looks thinner - visibly so. Well, he’s on tour, says a voice in her head but Kaya suspects that’s not the only reason, for he’d been on tour when he’d broken up with her as well.

His hair is a silvery blond, looking almost metallic; dressed simply in a black T-shirt and jeans, he runs a hand through his hair so it falls gracefully around his face as he approaches her, his face unreadable.

“Hi,” he says, and it sounds like all the breath has been let out of him with just one word. He swallows and straightens his shoulders, a small smile appearing on his face, the dimple faintly visible. “It’s good to see you, Kaya.”

Kaya nods, unable to speak and overcome with a sudden urge to cry. “You, too,” she murmurs, glancing at the floor and blinking rapidly before looking back up at him, a bit defiantly.

“I’m glad you decided to come.”

She nods again, her chest twisting at how normal he sounds. He’s standing far away from her as well, as though to make it clear in every way possible that they’re not together.

“Hope you had a good concert,” she ventures, recalling the grad student who’d accosted her yesterday, practically beside herself at attending a BTS concert. “Backstage must have been hectic.”

A flicker of something appears in his eyes for a moment, possibly with memories of backstage. Wishes of luck, last minute hugs, sweaty and passionate kisses fueled by adrenaline. But it disappears instantly and Kaya wonders if she imagined it.

“It was,” he answers, nodding. He slides his hands into his pockets smoothly, leaning back on his heels and his smile widening a little. “But worth it as always. The crew did well.”

Kaya doesn’t even bother nodding this time; all of a sudden, she regrets coming here tonight. Dilara has left, she just realises, and Namjoon is acting like they’re acquaintances at best, making her feel stupid and yet immensely grateful that she didn’t wear the sexy black dress.

At that moment, his eyes flicker to something behind her. “I’m sorry, I just need to go and say hi to a couple of people. But enjoy your night. It’s an open bar,” he adds, smiling and nodding politely before brushing past her and walking away.

Kaya doesn’t move; she doesn’t think she can. Something heavy feels like it’s settled on her chest, the weight of confusion, disbelief and crushing disappointment threatening to suffocate her. She has no idea what she’d been expecting; maybe arguing, fighting, crying together again - but not him not caring. Not this.

Namjoon continues walking in the opposite direction for as long as he can keep Kaya in his peripheral vision, both guilty and relieved when she doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t think he can look her in the eye if she does, witness the pain and hurt in her face that close.

He catches Seokjin’s eye and hurries over to him. Seokjin raises his eyebrows and seems to guess what might have transpired, ushering him over to the other end of the circular bar and out of Kaya’s line of sight.

“How did it go?”

Namjoon rests his palms on the bar and shakes his head, no words coming to him at the moment and feeling like he could throw up. He can’t fathom how he did it, how he stood there before her and didn’t immediately pull her to him, or break down and ask her to forgive him for doing the only thing he knew to do.

“Drink this.” Seokjin slides a glass to him and Namjoon takes it without hesitation, taking a huge gulp and waiting for it to sting his sinuses.

“This is water,” he states hoarsely, frowning at the glass.

“Cold water,” corrects Seokjin. “It’ll help clear your head.”

Namjoon takes another sip and places the glass down, dropping his head into his hands. “I can’t do this. How do I tell her I can’t do this? How do I ask her to -“ But he breaks off here, his mind swimming with the sight of her bare shoulders and exposed collarbones, imagining how they would feel if he held her.

“Okay.” Seokjin exhales through his nose and pauses. “Look, I have to ask. You’ve seen the state she is in. And you’re…” He struggles for a moment “...like this. Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to ask her to get back -“

“No.” The answer is instant, although it’s partly a habit by now. As he does every time his mind tries to convince him otherwise, Namjoon forces the memory of her phone call to the forefront of his mind, the fear in her voice and devastation on her face when he’d entered her apartment.

“But maybe this is -“

“No.”

Seokjin is silent and Namjoon can tell that he doesn’t approve. Please don’t ask me again, hyung. He doesn’t know if he did the right thing by inviting her but he couldn’t imagine not doing it either, not being right here in her city, knowing she was so close that he could almost smell the coconut and vanilla in the air and still not see her in the flesh.

“If you’re sure,” says Seokjin at last. “If you are, then I guess you did well. Just… just be normal around her. Keep a normal distance, talk about normal things and…” He half-shrugs, sounding uncertain. “She’s smart. She’ll understand. If you’re sure you want to do this, then… she’ll get it.”

Normal. Namjoon knows what he means, but he wants to tell him that none of this is normal. Not touching her, not being honest with her, not being with her - none of it is normal.

“She’s talking to Yoongi right now,” he adds, and Namjoon turns to see them near the stairs to the top floor. Kaya’s back is to him, her head lowered slightly and her thumbs hooked onto the back pockets of her jeans, the material hugging her hips and curving down her backside… He swallows and looks away.

“This is your chance,” says Seokjin. “Go and mingle. Let her see you moving on - even if you actually aren’t,” he clarifies quickly. “It won’t be pleasant but it might encourage her to do the same.”

Namjoon isn’t sure of the wisdom of this strategy but ever since the cause of his break-up had been revealed to the older members (and surely to Taehyung at least, by Dilara), he’d almost been relieved that he wouldn’t have to make every decision on his own.

He tries his best to navigate the party after that, making empty conversation with guests, using every bit of remaining energy and willpower to plaster a smile on his face. All the while, part of his attention is constantly on Kaya, registering her familiar figure alone at the bar as she nurses a beer, sometimes with Dilara.

Be normal. Seokjin’s words start holding less and less meaning with every passing minute, especially when he spots Kaya having finished her drink and he’s struck with the sudden fear that she will leave the party. In an effort to be as normal as he can, Namjoon heads over to the bar where she’s scanning the life-size menu half-heartedly, arms folded across her chest.

“Like anything?” he asks humbly. Long Island Iced Tea or a Mai Tai - depends on the flavours. His heart jolts when she shoots him a doubtful look and doesn’t answer, almost as if she’s wary of talking to him. She leans over the bar and gives the bartender a smile that makes his heart drop, especially when he grins back.

“Komt de mai tai in mango?” she asks, half-pouting when he shakes his head. “Een biertje, alsjeblieft,” she says finally, taking her second beer and turning away from the bar.

Namjoon doesn’t remember ever feeling this distant from her. “I’m glad you came tonight,” he tries again, choosing to look at her even though she’s facing away.

Kaya nods, pursing her lips and looking ahead. “Yeah, you said that already.” But her voice trembles ever so slightly, or maybe he just knows her so well that he’s sure it’s not a case of her not wanting to look at him - she can’t look at him.

It’s all on him now. He started this; if there is any hope of them still staying in each other’s lives, it’s down to him to make it happen.

“How’s your dissertation going?” he asks, hoping her work is a topic she might open up on.

She shrugs after a moment. “Off schedule,” she answers shortly. “A lot of variables hanging in the air.”

“Did you get into the research project you’d applied for?”

It’s momentary but it appears: the corner of her mouth tilts upwards. “Yeah,” she admits, finally looking at him, albeit hesitantly. “Guess I’ll have a lot more time to focus on it now,” she murmurs, the hint of a smile fading.

Namjoon’s heart sinks. She’s so angry with him; it’s palpable and not something he has ever been on the receiving end of. Her hand hangs by her side; his own itches to link his fingers with his, maybe tug her to him or lead her out of this stupid party where he can plead for her to just look at him.

“Well,” he says, then pauses. “I’m glad you could get the time off tonight. Must have been hard.”

“M-hm, not really.” She shakes her head. “Adam wanted to meet but I’ll probably catch up with him later,” she adds nonchalantly.

Namjoon nods, his hand tightening around his glass. He can’t tell if she’s trying to provoke him, for they do work closely; close enough that Adam’s intentions have always been a point of disagreement for them. He’d never been able to explain to her just how much he hated the way her advisor looked at her when she didn’t notice, how his hugs always lingered a moment too long or how he insisted on calling her late in the evenings to discuss work.

He’s distracted momentarily by Jungkook, who approaches them while bopping effortlessly to the music and stops in between them, turning to face in the same direction as Namjoon and Kaya. He’s definitely tipsy; the smile on his face is too big and he doesn’t seem to be reading the room at all.

“Dilara is a really good dancer, isn’t she?” he says loudly in English to no one in particular. Namjoon frowns and follows his gaze to see Dilara, Taehyung and Hoseok dancing, before turning back to look at Jungkook. On his other side, Kaya is also frowning at him, tilting her head curiously. Their eyes meet and she raises her eyebrows slightly.

Namjoon fights a smile as Kaya half-chuckles and looks away, his heart twisting with longing at how much he misses her. She looks so incredibly beautiful; his eyes sting when he realises that there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it.

“I’m gonna -“ He gestures vaguely and walks away in the opposite direction, desperate to be anywhere but around her before his resolve breaks.

The next half hour is a flurry of faces; Namjoon distracts himself with every single individual at the party, making small talk and exchanging unfunny jokes and hyper aware of Kaya occasionally glancing at him.

He knows, because he’s watching her, too, doing his best to make sure she doesn’t see him looking. He can’t even help it; it’s almost muscle memory at this point.

“Who are you looking at?” The woman he’s talking to asks him point-blank.

Namjoon flushes, realising he’d been staring at Kaya over her shoulder while she’d been speaking.

“No one,” he answers quickly. “Sorry.”

The twenty-something woman frowns curiously. “Are you sure? I’m not offended.”

“It’s… nothing.” He shakes his head and looks at the floor.

“Ex-girlfriend?”

Ex. Not trusting himself to speak, Namjoon nods.

“Hm.” She hums, somewhat sympathetically. “Bad break-up?”

“Pretty bad.”

“I’m sorry,” she says after a moment. “It’s never easy to be around an ex if it hasn’t ended well.”

“Yeah, well,” he says, desperate to change the topic. “All part of the process, right?”

“Right,” she says encouragingly. “Plus, once you’re past this phase, the one where you constantly want to die, you can begin the drink and eat and hook up as much as you want stage with no judgement.”

He chuckles politely, the prospect sounding horrendous. “Thanks. Feels good to laugh for real.”

She smiles wider and, before he knows it, leans forward and presses a kiss against his lips.

It takes Namjoon a couple of seconds of pure shock before he jumps backwards. “Whoa. What -“ His heart races uncomfortably. “What was that?”

“Sorry,” she says slowly, looking a little confused. “I thought… you wanted to make your ex jealous. Isn’t that where you were going with this?”

“No,” he clarifies immediately. “No. Absolutely not. I don’t want to - no.” In the midst of his minor crisis, he notes how the woman looks almost mortified.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to -”

“It’s fine,” he cuts her off, suddenly feeling horribly guilty. He looks up out of habit and sees, unmistakably, Kaya leaving the restaurant, her long dark hair and the shimmery dark blue of her top disappearing out the door.

—

The night has gotten chillier in the last couple of hours and the cool wind hits her bare shoulders the moment she steps out, but Kaya barely feels it. She’s not thinking right now; thinking is what’s got them here, thinking about everything and overthinking to the point of fleeing a restaurant.

“Kaya!”

Her feet increase their pace automatically the same time her stomach flips, but he’s taller and faster and he reaches her before she can even reach the elevator.

“Kaya,” he repeats hurriedly, reaching and grabbing her elbow. “Wait, please. I’m sorry -”

“Why did you even invite me here?” she asks, cutting him off and turning around to face him. She’s so tired; she didn’t think break-ups could be this exhausting. “You’ve barely said anything to me. Was it to show me in person how you’re moving on? Because if that’s the case, then… message received.”

Namjoon shakes his head immediately; he looks exhausted as well, and Kaya is once again struck by how much thinner he is, overcome with a mixture of empathy and frustration at him.

“That was not - I didn’t plan that,” he says, sighing. “I don’t even know who she is. She kissed me and it wasn’t… come on, does it look like I’m moving on?” he asks, raising his arms helplessly.

Kaya stares at him and then sighs, shaking her head. “Why did you invite me here?” she asks again, less defensive this time.

“Because I wanted to see you,” he says at once.

She stares at him. “Well, you’ve seen me,” she says, sniffing. “Can I go now?”

“Kaya…”

“What?”

Namjoon runs a hand through his hair, looking lost for words. “Please don’t -“ He breaks off abruptly before taking a step closer to her, his height both large and comforting. “I don’t want you to be sad. I’m sorry.”

Too late. “You’re not supposed to care how I feel. Not anymore.”

He lets out a humourless chuckle. “What?”

“We’re over.” She can hear the tremble in her voice as she crosses her arms across her chest again. “You said it yourself. You’re not supposed to care how I feel.”

“Really?” He narrows his eyes at her. “You think this break-up had anything to do with how I feel about you? You know as I do that it didn’t.” When she doesn’t answer, he sighs. “I did this because I care.”

“If you say so.”

He pokes his tongue into his cheek. “Are you deliberately trying to provoke me or something?”

“Provoke you into what?” she blurts out. “What - what is that you want, exactly? What do you want us to do? Just circle around in each other’s orbits for the rest of our lives, while still being - while still feeling the way we do?” she asks, avoiding her almost-slip of tongue. “We’re just supposed to stay not be together and still stay in each other’s lives? What - what do you want?”

Namjoon opens his mouth but falls silent; it’s clear he hasn’t thought that far ahead - or he can’t say it out loud. “I want…” He begins, before pausing and starting again. “I want… you to be happy,” he says eventually. “And safe.”

She scoffs and he bristles.

“I’m serious. I -” He breaks off when someone exits the restaurant, his gaze following them until they’re out of sight before he turns back to her. “This is hard for me, too, you know? Why is it so hard for you to believe I might want you to be happy?”

Kaya exhales but doesn’t answer, because it isn’t hard to believe, not even a little bit. It’s unfortunately the most believable thing he’s ever said to her which means she can’t even fight it.

“How?” she asks finally. “By moving on, like you were pretending to do?”

Namjoon bites his lip and his eyes glaze over, and she knows he’s picturing it. His eyes fall to the floor but he nods slowly anyway. “Yeah, I guess. As long as I don’t have to watch it,” he adds in a mutter.

It’s really over. Kaya feels her eyes well up. “Fine,” she answers quietly. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find someone to move on with tonight.” She turns to leave but feels him stop her again. “What?” she snarls.

“Kaya, I -” The lift opens and a handful of people tumble out, holding merchandise and talking loudly. Namjoon’s eyes widen and he immediately grabs her arms and walks her back into a corner, just as the group turns into their corridor and towards the restaurant.

“What are you -”

But the second lift opens just then and they hear the sound of a second group of voices. Namjoon swears under his breath and pushes open a door behind her, walking her back further into the tiny dark room and letting the door swing shut behind him.

“What is wrong with -“

“It’s press,” he hisses, and she falls silent.

He peers out into the corridor through the small window in the door; there’s no light except for the bit through the window and from a skylight in the ceiling. Kaya can smell something vaguely citric that she decides is floor cleaner; they are in a janitor’s closet.

She and Namjoon are frozen in place, his hands still on her arms and hers on his torso to keep from losing her balance. It’s been a long time since they’ve been this close; it takes Kaya a few seconds to realise that the voices outside have disappeared, but he still hasn’t moved away.

Almost as if he’s subconsciously heard her, his thumbs stroke her arm once. The simple touch makes all the anger crumble away for a moment, especially now that it’s just them with the rest of the world shut outside. Kaya hesitates for a moment, then gently rests her forehead on his shoulder. Namjoon stiffens but a moment later, she feels his fingers tighten above her elbows, followed by him loosely enveloping her in his arms.

It seems cruel, almost, that the target of her anger and source of her comfort lie in the same person. It isn’t even a hug; it’s a moment of weakness at best, borne from his almost subconscious need to protect her. For the first time, Kaya wonders if she’s being unfair to him.

Resisting the temptation to wrap her arms around his waist, she steps away from him with difficulty, her back touching the wall. His arms fall from around her reluctantly, his expression resigned. It’s dark but she can see him more clearly than she has all night.

“This is a terrible idea,” she murmurs, echoing her words from a month ago. “The worst you’ve ever had.”

Namjoon exhales shakily but doesn’t argue. “I meant everything I said in that note,” he says, not even trying to hide the tremble in his voice anymore. “And I really do want you to be happy.”

The note. The one he’d kept on her bedside table when he’d left her apartment while she slept, the only thing of his that was left when she’d awoken, naked and alone. She’d only had the strength to read it once before she’d broken down and tucked it deep into her drawer, knowing the words would be etched in her memory.

“You know what will make me happy,” she whispers, looking at the ground. She feels him come closer to her, one hand hovering by her side as though unable to decide if she’d want her to touch him.

He finally rests it lightly on her waist, moving it slightly upward as she looks up at him, her heart twisting at how he’s unable to meet her eyes. She places her hands on his face, thinking vaguely how much she misses seeing his dimple.

“Joon,” she whispers, waiting for him to nod once. “Look at me.”

Namjoon visibly swallows, gaze still fallen. “Kaya, I…”

“No,” she interrupts him. “Look at me.”

With what seems like an enormous effort, he meets her eyes. This is hard for me too, you know?

She knows. Kaya strokes his cheekbones with her thumbs, her touch feather-light. “Kiss me,” she whispers. She touches her forehead to his and closes her eyes, hoping he’ll give in, for she can’t go further than this.

His hand tightens around her waist, pressing her into the wall. Their lips brush momentarily and he shivers.

“Do it,” she urges, her voice barely audible now. “Kiss me.”

She feels his lips before she even registers him moving against her and she leans into it, feeling like she can breathe for the first time in weeks. Come back to me, she thinks desperately. Come back to where you belong.

It’s like he can hear her. Namjoon pulls away, one hand on the wall beside her face for support, the other holding her.

“Fuck,” he whispers, and it sends a jolt of anticipation through her heart. “I love you, Kaya,” he adds, voice full of emotion. Kaya nods, unable to speak, wishing he would meet her eyes. He moves his hands to her face and touches his forehead to hers again, swallowing.

Look at me.

But he doesn’t. “But you have no idea,” he continues, every word sounding like it's costing him effort, “how I felt when you called me that night. The things that went through my mind…” He sniffs, and Kaya’s heart sinks. “I can’t let that happen again baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

She can feel her face start to contort and she drops her hands from his shoulders, for she knows this part by heart. “Goodbye, Namjoon,” she mutters thickly, sliding out from between him and the wall. She pushes open the door and hurries out, leaving him behind.

—

When she hears the knock on her front door the next morning, Kaya is just about to step into the shower. She freezes and sighs, for she really, really needs this shower. She considers ignoring it but the knock sounds again and she groans, abandoning the activity of tying up her hair and letting it fall loose instead.

Grabbing the old, threadbare robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door, she pulls it around herself and shuffles to the front door. She peers through the peephole and her heart stops for a moment, but she steels herself and opens the door.

Namjoon stands before her, hands in his pockets and shoulders slightly hunched. “Hey. I just wanted to - oh, God,” he switches abruptly, his expression changing from vaguely apologetic to shocked, and he slips inside the apartment.

“What?” Kaya asks, taken off guard and stumbling backwards.

“You really opened the door wearing that?” he hisses, shutting the door behind him. “I could’ve been anyone!”

“I knew it was you,” she argues, tightening the belt around her waist and realising, for the first time, how short the robe is. But she isn’t about to admit that to him, especially not when he’s turned up unannounced and decided to begin his visit by berating her. She folds her arms across her chest. “What do you want, Namjoon?”

He hesitates, almost as though he’s just noticing how displeased she is. “Sorry,” he mutters, looking a bit ashamed. “I didn’t mean to… anyway,” he says quickly, wringing his hands and slipping them back in his pockets. “How are you?”

Kaya shrugs suspiciously. He looks remarkably different from where she’d left him last night, almost breaking down and apologising to her. Right now, he seems almost… calm. She can almost imagine that last night had been a slip-up of emotion, possibly due to tiredness and an open bar, whereas in the light of day, he’s back to being the responsible ex who’s fulfilling his obligations by checking up on her each day.

“I’m great.”

He nods after a moment, clearly not believing her. “Well, I came here because…” He sighs and a glimmer of last night’s emotion appears on his face. “I thought about what you said last night. And you were right.”

The jolt in her stomach is almost painful, but Kaya hangs on. If he was talking about what she thinks he is, he would be delivering it far more differently.

“We can’t keep doing this. I can’t expect you to keep doing this,” he adds. “Staying in this limbo, not knowing…” He bites his lip and lowers his gaze, removing his hands from his pockets. “You have every right to move on. I want you to - to be happy.”

Kaya licks her lips slowly. “This,” she says coldly, “could’ve been a text.”

“I didn’t want to leave things the way they were last night,” he tells her, his voice softer. “You’re, uh…” His voice breaks off for a moment. “You’re the love of my life. And we were together for a long time and I… I loved every moment of it. I just want to say goodbye the right way.”

Her throat hurts holding back the rush of emotion that threatens to overwhelm her.

“Are you sure?” She can’t resist asking, in a whisper. When he nods and lowers his eyes, she feels the heavy, heavy anchor of acceptance settle in her stomach.

Namjoon hesitantly reaches out with one hand but when she gives him a look, he nods and steps forward, and they meet in their last hug, three and a half years after their first last hug in her apartment.

Kaya hugs him tight, no longer caring about hiding how she feels. There isn’t enough time to try and memorise everything so she doesn’t even try; she just goes higher on her toes and presses her nose into his shoulder, revelling in his scent one last time.

Namjoon doesn’t seem to be doing much better. He’s holding her tight, so tight that it doesn’t seem like he’s ever intending on letting her go. His face is in her hair and his arms stroke her back in small movements, his go-to movement to comfort her since they met.

Just a few more seconds. The sensations increase now; the feel of his shoulders, his chest touching hers - and she’s suddenly conscious of the thin robe being the only thing separating her naked body from him.

At the same time, his hands move to her waist - out of habit, she knows, but she can’t help but be extremely aware of it. His hand stops just above the curve of her hips, quickly and abruptly.

Her mouth feels dry, but her legs press together. Then, as though he can read her mind and the direction her thoughts are invariably leading in, against her hip, she can feel his body react.

She lets out a soft gasp and feels his body stiffen around her. This is goodbye, a voice reminds her, urging her brain to focus on the matter at hand. But it’s slipping - fading, almost, as a physical urge struggles for dominance.

Her lips brush his neck as she pulls away - she has to pull away - but it doesn’t matter in the end because somewhere along the way his lips find hers and all thought disappears, replaced by touch, feel and hunger.

Namjoon sighs into her mouth like he’s breathing for the first time, pulling her close. Her robe starts to loosen and he tugs at the belt, groaning when his hands touch her bare skin.

“Fuck, are you really not wearing anything under this?” he murmurs, his voice so low and reverberating so deep inside her that she shivers.

The robe is off; it’s cool and sudden air, a moment where his hands fall from her waist and then their back but this time, it’s skin against skin. It’s lips and sighs and tight grips, the feel of denim, her fingers moving out of habit as they unbutton and unzip - and then there’s pride and relief when she feels his desire for her, still the same as ever, no matter his words.

There’s something solid against her back; somewhere, dimly, her mind registers that her dining table is rickety and has her laptop on it, and then she’s leaning forward and he’s behind her and his chest is against her back and he wants her just as much as he wants him.

“Are you -“

“I’m still on birth control,” she confirms tightly, the next moment feeling his fingers on her hips and then he’s inside her again, after so long. She could almost sob at how good it feels, how right, the lips on her shoulder and his scent and touch.

But it’s over too soon. She gasps and falls forward, her ears ringing and heart hurting at the same time as her heart races. He’s getting close, too; she tries to memorise it now, the exact moment, but then he pulls out. It’s sudden, the emptiness, but the next moment, she feels wetness on her back.

It takes around ten seconds, ten seconds when she’s frozen before she finally hears him sigh and take a step away. A moment later, she reaches across the table and pulls the tissue box towards her, reaching behind and wiping her back.

Kaya turns slightly to see him pulling on his T-shirt, jeans buttoned already. She picks up her robe and pulls it on hurriedly, suddenly not wanting to be naked for even another microsecond in front of him.

Something feels wrong. It’s not the first time he’s finished on her; he’s done it before, on explicit request and without, none of which ever made her feel… like this. Self-conscious. Bare.

Namjoon clears his throat. “I -“ He meets her eyes, still panting slightly. “I still want to… do this right,” he says, sounding almost formal. “Goodbye, Kaya.”

He starts to take a step forward but pauses. “Maybe we shouldn’t hug,” he murmurs, offering her a small smile. Kaya watches as he hesitantly offers her a hand.

This is goodbye. Kaya can’t remember ever feeling this uncomfortable around him. The momentary loss of her sense of reason feels like it’s returned in full form, and she tightens the robe around her. She starts to reach for his hand but then stops.

“This is what you meant?” she asks quietly. “When you said you wanted to do it the right way? You wanted to see if you could squeeze in one last fuck before you closed this out like a business meeting?”

“What?” Namjoon’s eyes widen. “No! I didn’t - I didn’t want that to happen! I mean - you know that’s not what I meant,” he adds quickly. “I didn’t plan this. You and I both -“

“You planned our break-up and I had no idea,” she cuts him off, the shame and embarrassment creeping up her throat. “I really don’t know anymore.”

He scoffs, but his eyes flicker like he’s been stung. “Is that what you think of me? We were both here, Kaya. It wasn’t just me - you wanted this just as much as I -“

“I slept with Adam.”

Namjoon freezes. He swallows and his eyes flicker again, rapidly this time. “You’re lying,” he whispers.

Kaya shrugs, holding his gaze with every last bit of willpower in her. “You were the one who told me to move on last night,” she reminds him, watching his expression crumble and doing nothing to stop it.

After what feels like several minutes, or maybe even hours, Namjoon nods slowly. Then, without another word, he turns around and opens the door, walking out of her life and shutting the door behind him.

—

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