an uncle nina update...i mean UPHATE!
okay there's a couple lines at the bottom i didn't fill in...i don't want to talk about it...that's a problem for future me idc idc! it's done, okay?
BUT AT LONG....LONG LAST....I AM FINALLY....FINISHED fuCkiNG WRITING RM6 AND AM EDITING AND FORMATING IT ON AO3!
when i tell you there are tears in my tears...oh my god...please, clap.
i am going to start deletion progress of probably 1k worth of spaces between lines ( whoever decided that when you paste a google doc it double spaces everything...please meet me in the pit, motherfucker! ) running a fine tooth comb through everything, figuring out where certain italics/blockquote goes, writing the sh*t i put off at the end & crying to taylor swift loudly over the sound of my cracking fingers.
but first...i am taking...a nap....or i'm gonna try. #freeunclenina
because i pulled a writer girl all-nighter.
...and brain hurty so, so bad.
-uncle nina, making miracles happen on the last day of nanowrimo
p.s. if you see me on here answering ask memes and being a circus clown, please close your eyes...i miss her ( my not-stressful inbox )
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Do you ever like someone else’s fanfiction so much, it makes you want to borrow the premise and write your own gender flipped version? I feel that way about a lot of ganymede_elegy/@cellsshapedlikestars’s fics. Here’s a little thing I jotted down after reading a fairytale ending. I’m not sure when, if ever, I’ll get around to continuing it. But, here, let me share it with you so its lack of ending can torture you the way it tortures me. 😘
The digital flyer was sent as a text, no further explanation included. Jon’s eyes flickered over the drawing — a woman with dark red hair and big blue eyes — then down to the cursive words below it. They spelled out a plea. It seemed the real life version of this woman was looking for a wedding date who was willing to pretend to be her boyfriend.
Some PDA required, the flyer said. Specifics to be negotiated ahead of time. And then came the list of warnings.
- The groom is my ex-boyfriend and his mother is the actual devil.
- Other guests will include my crazy aunt and her creepy boyfriend.
- It’s a destination wedding, so expect a 4-5 day time commitment.
The very last section of the flyer said the woman would pay for all expenses and, If interested, contact the mutual friend who sent you this for further instructions.
Jon double checked who that mutual friend was, half wondering if the flyer had found its way to him by mistake. But, no. Gilly had texted him, his screen told him. His best friend’s girlfriend. And she’d never texted him by mistake before, so —
Curiosity peaked, Jon tossed aside the book he’d been reading and fired off a reply.
Jon: Is this a joke? Some funny thing you stumbled across online?
Instead of texting back, Gilly called right away. Speaking over the noise of the hair salon where she worked, she said, “I’ve got like, three minutes until my next appointment, so don’t interrupt, okay?”
Jon kept quiet.
“Okay?” Gilly repeated. “Wait? Are you there?”
“That was me not interrupting,” Jon said.
“Oh, gods. Okay, so her name is Sansa and she’s gorgeous and really, really nice, and she moved back to Winterfell about a year ago after living far away for like, I don’t know, seven or eight years maybe? She said she went to the private school here in town. What’s it called again? No, don’t answer that. Time crunch and all that. Anyway, the point is that you went to different schools so you don’t know each other, but you might know her brother? Wren Stark?”
“You mean Robb Stark?”
Jon had been a loner throughout most of his school years, but as a junior he’d let his favorite teacher, Mr. Rodrick, who was also the wrestling coach, talk him into joining an organized sport for the first time ever. Robb had been a senior and the team’s captain. Nice enough guy. Helped Jon feel included throughout the season without treating him like a totally charity case. They remained Facebook friends all these years later, though they never interacted.
“Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe it was Robb,” Gilly answered. “Anyway, Sansa thought about making a profile on a dating app or whatever, but she was worried she’d attract some real weirdos. So she made that flyer instead and asked a few of her friends to share it — discreetly — with a few of their friends. And now, if you’re interested, I’m supposed to give her your number. And I very much want you to be interested, by the way, because you need to start dating again. Think of this as, like, a practice round or something. Oh, and you need a vacation too. Desperately. When was the last time you left the North?”
“Uh… never?” Jon replied, trying not to laugh. This was ridiculous. Why did Gilly always think she could boss him around? Just because Sam let her get away with such antics didn’t mean he had to, right?
“So I should give Sansa your number?” she asked.
“You know her from the salon?”
“Yeah. Did I not say that already? She has perfect hair, so all we ever do is trim it. But she always tips me really well.”
Gilly let that comment simmer, and Jon, of course, understood why. Ever since he inherited a life-changing amount of money from his dad, he’d been weary of getting involved with a woman of little means. That made him feel like an asshole, but, hey, feeling like an asshole was better than having to wonder if the woman in question only liked him because of the size of his bank account.
“I think she might be rich,” Gilly added after several beats of silence, like maybe she thought Jon was too dense to make the connection.
“Yeah, but how rich?” he asked. Because he’d also been weary of getting involved with women who grew up in affluent families. He hadn’t grown up in one himself — his dad had been a distant figure in his life — and he knew he would never fit in in that world.
What did he remember about the Starks? His mind raced in that direction before his question could be answered. Robb had worn nice clothes and driven an SUV that looked too expensive for a teenager to afford on their own. But if his parents were super rich, why hadn’t they sent all of their children to private school like Sansa?
Wait, why had she not gone to Winterfell High? Why was she the exception to the rule within her family? Jon had more questions.
“I’m hesitant to tell you everything I know,” Gilly said. “You have a tendency to draw too many conclusions from too little information. Incorrect conclusions, usually, I should remind you.”
Jon scoffed. He wasn’t sure he agreed with that assessment, but whatever. He’d let it slide. “What’s this Sansa character do for a living?” he asked.
Gilly squealed. “That means you’re considering it. I can tell. I’m so excited.”
“What? No. I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to. I can read you like a book.”
Jon hesitated before admitting, in his own special way, that Gilly had the right of it. “I liked the part where she called her ex-boyfriend’s mom the actual devil. That amused me.” He took a beat to rub his hand over the back of his neck. “And it’s not as if I have anything better to do with my time,” he added.
Too often lately, he’d been home, by himself, doing nothing. He was going stir crazy. He needed a change. A new person to meet. A new city to see. Something. Anything.
“Oh, gods. Okay. This is thrilling,” Gilly said. “But my one o’clock just walked in, so I gotta go. I’ll send Sansa your number and tell her how wonderful you are. And then hopefully she’ll text you tonight. Don’t be weird if she does, okay? Promise me.”
“I’m never weird, Gil.”
She cackled, a weird way of expressing disagreement. “You’re frequently weird,” she said, “especially around girls. But I really do have to go now, okay? I’ll text her, she’ll text you. It’ll be great.”
“Uh huh.”
“Uh huh,” Gilly echoed teasingly. “Sam and I love you. Ba-bye.”
She hung up the phone, and Jon returned his attention to the flyer in their text history. The thing looked like it could have been professionally made. Maybe Sansa worked in graphic design or marketing or something? Was that a lucrative industry?
Jon wouldn’t know. He’d spent most of adulthood working at sporting goods stores, taking advantage of their employee discounts in order to outfit long backpacking trips around the North. He quit only recently, about four months after receiving his inheritance. Now he was unemployed, trying to figure out what he wanted to do with himself and the money that had opened up his options.
Start his own business, maybe? But what kind of business, he had no idea.
The screen on Jon’s phone turned black, catching his attention and drawing his thoughts back to the flyer he’d been studying. Rather than guess at Sansa’s career, he sent Gilly another text, wondering if she'd have time after her current appointment to reply to him.
Jon: What’s Sansa do for a living?
An hour passed without reply. With his patience dwindling, he realized he had other methods of research at his disposal. He logged on to Facebook, found Robb Stark, then searched his friends list for Sansa. Nothing. She either didn’t have a profile, or she had those extra security measures in place which prevented her from appearing in his search.
Another twenty minutes passed and then, finally, Gilly sent him a text. This one was an embedded YouTube video, no further explanation included. Jon clicked play.
He watched a door swing open to reveal a woman — not a drawing — with dark red hair and big blue eyes. “Hey, everybody,” she said. “Welcome back to my channel. Or, if you’re new here, welcome for the first time. I’m Sansa, and —”
She paused to grin. It was a big, toothy thing Jon found he liked despite his reluctance to like anything to do with a YouTube star.
“And today’s the big day,” she continued. “I’m so excited to walk you through the final reveal of our co-working space. Come on in.” She turned over her shoulder, beckoning the camera to follow her. She took a few steps forward, and then the video faded to a white, ever so briefly, before bubbly music and an animated introduction — similar style of the flyer — took over the screen.
Jon watched all fifteen minutes of the interior design tour video without interruption, despite Sansa’s suggestion that he first go back and watch the other four in the so-called Headquarters Series. By the end of it, he’d learned that her YouTube channel focused on “rental -friendly interior designs and DIY projects on a budget.”
Okay, that was sort of cool, he had to admit. He wasn’t the target audience, but he could appreciate it.
And even better than that? By the end of the video, Jon had also learned that nearly four years ago, Sansa was let go from her dream job at a lifestyle magazine, which was “devastating at the time,” but, ultimately, put her on the path to where she was now — the leader of her own company, where she worked with five of her “most favorite people of all time.”
Sansa made that happen for herself. And as far as Jon could tell, she hadn’t needed inherited money to do it. Maybe he could learn a thing or two from her.
Anyway, yeah, she had a decent amount of money, it seemed. New money, like him. And Gilly was right, she was gorgeous. So even though he would have said no sixteen minutes ago, had anyone asked if he thought he could like a YouTuber who decorated in pastel color schemes, he was intrigued.
What was the story behind Sansa, her ex-boyfriend, and his devilish mother? What made her aunt so crazy and her aunt’s boyfriend so creepy? What was the destination of this destination wedding? Jon hoped he would soon find out.
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Adventure Time
wrote this like a man possessed. as in literally sat up in bed grabbed my ohone and wrote this lil drabble anuwau enjoy
word count: 375
pairing: none
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Craig had been through six guinea pigs in his life. To his credit, they’d all lived long happy lives before going to guinea pig heaven. This version of Stripe, Stripe #7, had been bought a week ago, and Craig was finally comfortable letting him explore his bed. He took Stripe from his cage and carried him over to his bed.
He lay back, letting Stripe crawl on his lap. This guinea pig was a lot more adventurous than his predecessors, sniffing at Craig’s jeans before climbing up his shirt. Craig shifted a little, trying not to squirm at the little paws on his stomach as Stripe made his way up. He settled briefly on Craig’s chest and snuffed at his face, his whiskers tickling Craig’s cheek. Then, without warning he crawled further up, and slid down Craig’s shirt.
Craig jolted and brought his hands up to try and free Stripe from his clothes. Curious about his new environment, Stripe began to scurry around his torso, making Craig squeak as the soft fur brushed over his stomach. He giggled softly, grateful to be along in his room as his was tickled by his pet.
Craig reached inside his shirt, trying to grab Stripe who seemed determined to escape him. He crawled all over Craig’s torso, away from his hands. Craig could do nothing in that moment but laugh, blushing as he balled up his hands in order to not thrash about and hurt the guinea pig.
“Strihihipehe!” He cried, knowing full well the animal couldn’t understand him, “Hehehe, thahahat tihihicklehehes!”
He tried to grab Stripe again, from the top of his shirt this time, which made him run down to his stomach. Craig squealed, then began kicking his legs as one of Stripes little paws stepped into his belly button.
At once he finally sat up a little, yanking his shirt over his head and (gently) grabbing Stripe. He lay for a second, still giggling, then held the animal up to his face. Stripe whistled innocently.
Craig rolled his eyes, sitting up properly as he let Stripe roam around his crossed legs and pulled his t-shirt back on. Idly, he wandered if he could get Stripe to do the same thing to Tweek.
That would be cute as hell.
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