#*we don't talk about Amelia* | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

samandcolbyownme · 6 months

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Summary: Anon request - "can you PLEASEE give us something super smutty, super kinky, halloween themed either both sam and colby or just colby. kinda like the halloween one you did for sam?"

Basically, this will be reader at a Halloween party and they decide to mess with an ouija board and Colby gets attached to reader, but doesn't reveal himself until reader is home.

Warnings: SMUT18+, Strong language, alcohol consumption, drunk actions, demon! Colby possesses reader, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (both), choking, hair pulling, scratching, filth

Word count: 4.7k | somewhat edited

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

“Alright guys.” Ray says as he claps to get everyone’s attention, “Halloween game time.”

You walk into the living room, shocked at what you see, "No." You hold up your hand, pointing to the board lying in the middle of the circle, "No. fucking. Way."

The group groans, trying to convince you, "Come on, you really believe in that?" One says. Another chimes in, "It's all fake anyway."

You roll your eyes, "You have no idea what you're messing with. Plus, you all are fucking drunk."

"Come on." Your best friend, Amelia grabs your wrist as you stand up, "You don't have to touch it, but just stay with me.." she laughs slightly, "Moral support."

"You know this could get bad. Fast." You whisper as you lean in, “I am always saying how these things are a bad idea.”

“Can you please just stay.” She more or less demands, and you lean into her, squinting, "You're scared, aren’t you?”

She scoffs, "N-no.. u just.. can you just please?"

You sigh, "Fine. Fine. But I'm not touching that thing."

You sit there, watching as the guys across from you argue about how to get started.

"How do you- where's the instructions?"

You sigh, "You're supposed to cleanse the board first, and it would be better if you would stop-" you watch as someone spills alcohol on the board and you sigh, "Drinking."

"Lighten up, y/n." Sam says nudging you, "What? Are you afraid that we'll let all the dark spirits in?" He laughs, "Hell is empty tonight. So.." he leans over, "Can't summon something if it's already here, right?"

You rolled your eyes, you felt like the only sober one there.

"Alright, everyone, one finger on.. this thing." Ray says pointing to the pointer, "oh, and someone kill the lights."

You close your eyes one the lights flick off and everyone but you puts a finger on the pointer.

"Just do it."

You look at Amelia, "Did you say something?" She shakes her head, "No." you look over at Sam, "Did you say something?" He shakes his head, "No." a smirk grows on his face, "Hearing things already?"

You roll your eyes and sigh, "Fine. Fine." You lean forward, laying your pointer finger on the pointer, "Fuck me."

"Trust me.."

You close your eyes, shaking your head. You regret even being at this party.

You want to take your finger off the pointer but you physically can't.

It's like it's glued there.

Stuck.

"If there is any spirits here, we'd like to talk." Jace says with a slight laugh and you tilt your head as you stare at him.

"Jace, you have to ask nicely. They need to feel safe." You say looking up at him, "We welcome the friendly, positive spirits to talk to us."

The pointer starts to move, "Oh shit." Sam looks up, "Yo, who's doing that?" Sam laughs slightly, "That's not funny."

Everyone denies.

It moves to H then slides over to the I.

"Hi?" You all say in unison, "Hello."

You look at Amelia, "Ask it something." She goes wide eyed, "Are you fucking nuts?"

You sigh, "Fine. I'll do it. What is your name?"

The pointer starts moving, going to C.

Then O.

Then L.

Then E.

"Cole? Is your name Cole?" You ask and it slides to YES.

"Are you a demon?" Jace asks and you all look at him. You shake your head, "You don't-"

The pointer slides to MAYBE, making everyone shut up.

You try to take your finger off but it still feels stuck, and you hear a quiet whisper, "Stay."

"You can't just ask shit like that, Jace." Ray says, "Are you stupid!?"

"What? Are you scared?" Jace says with a laugh, "You said you don't believe in this shit."

The pointer moves, sliding to the letters A, S, K.

“This isn’t supposed to move on its own… right?” Amelia asks quietly as she looks over at you. You shrug and look over at Sam.

"Ask?" Sam whispers, "How many of you are there?"

The pointer moves to 1.

"So it has to be just one." Amelia looks at you and back to the board, "Are you Cole?"

“That was already asked.” Jace says with an eye roll, but the pointer slides to YES, anyway.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asks and before you can correct his question, the pointer moves to each letter that spells out your name.

“Y/n..”

"Fuck no. No!" You yank your hand away, "Who did that?" You look around and they all shrug, "I'm serious. Who fucking did that?" Your voice is in a high pitch and you sigh, "I’m done."

You stand up but you get dizzy and stumble backwards. Amelia and Sam stand up, holding onto you.

"Whoa, you alright?" Sam looks down at you, concern on his face, "y/n."

"I’m not gonna hurt you."

You shake your head slightly, "Yeah." You stand up straight, "I'm fine." You smooth out your costume and walk to the bathroom, Amelia on your tail, "What happened?"

You stop, whipping around, "What do you mean what happened? Those idiot fucks moved it to scare me because I didn't want to do it."

"Then why did you?" She holds her hands out and shrugs.

"I felt like I had to." You look at her, "Like something was telling me to."

She walks up to you, laughing slightly, "that's called peer pressure, y/n."

"It wasn't.." you sigh, knowing you're just wasting your breath, "Yeah.. you're probably right." You look up as she walks into the bathroom and you see a shadow standing at the end of the hall.

"Jace? Ray? Sam? Come on guys this isn't funny." You slowly walk towards the shadow, preparing yourself for one of them to lunge at you with a 'boo'.

"You okay?" Sam peaks his head around the corner from in the living room and you look at him. Your eyes move back to where the shadow was, and it's gone.

"Yeah, I'm just seeing shit now." You sigh, "I thought you'd never fuck with an ouija board, Sam."

He shrugs, "Peer pressure."

"That's what I said!" Amelia says in a sing song tone as she walks back into the living room. Sam looks you up and down, "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Yeah, that'll do that to you when your name is spelled on one of those things." You laugh slightly, "I just don't-"

"Listen." Sam walks up to you, "It was probably just Jace or Ray playing a stupid prank. I'm sure it wasn't anything. They didn't even do it right."

You shrug, "If I go missing, I'm blaming them."

Sam laughs and looks back the group in the living room, "Come on, I'll drive you home."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

It kept replaying in your head. The pointer moving to each letter. The shocked and scared expressions from everyone.

They couldn't fake the genuine shock, especially with majority of them being drunk.

"Do you think it was real?" You ask looking over at Sam in the drivers seat. He shrugs and rests his elbow on the center console, "I mean, maybe.. but like I said, they didn't do it right. So if anything were to happen, it'll probably be to them."

He laughs and you sigh, "I'm serious Sam. When I was going to the bathroom, I swear I saw something in the hallway, just standing there."

"I'm sure it was just that stupid fake tree that Leah got Jace to buy. I'm sure it was nothing but your imagination feeding off your fear."

You nod, "Yeah, you're probably right." You laugh at yourself, "I'm such a scaredy cat on Halloween."

He looks over at you as he pulls into the driveway, "Yeah. You're telling me." He rolls his eyes playfully and laughs.

You look at the door to your house, "Do you wanna come hang out for a little bit, just until I'm not scared?"

He turns the car off, "Yeah, I can."

You make your way inside and as you open the door, you see the same shadow you saw in the hallway of Jace's apartment standing over by the door to your kitchen.

You quickly flip the lights on and it's gone.

"That shadow was there again." You point and Sam moves in between you and the door, "Stay here." He goes to check it out, coming back out a few minutes later, "No one is here."

You shut the door and sigh, "I knew that was a bad idea. I should have next touched that thing."

"You know, I heard stories or people burning them or throwing them out and they reappear in the spot they were in last." Sam walks to the couch, plopping down and you just glare at him, "Not helping."

"You don't have one of those here do you?" Sam looks back to you and you shake your head, "Hell fucking no."

"Then you should be good." Sam laughs and turns back to the tv.

"I'm going to go for a shower. I'll be back down." You make your way up stairs, undoing the corset on your costume and taking a deep breath.

You move around the room, looking over your shoulder when you feel like someone is watching you, "Sam?" You call out as you walk out into the hallway.

"Still on the couch." He yells back and you laugh slightly, "Alright."

You walk back into your room and close your door as you finish getting undressed when you suddenly feel frozen.

You can't move.

You move your eyes around, trying not to freak out.

"Relax, babe."

"Mm." You whimper as your lips are pressed shut. You feel a hand drag up your back, "I'm not going to hurt you."

A man walks around your left side, stopping when he gets infront of you.

You couldn't lie, he was hot, but you were more worried on how he got into your house. Past Sam on the couch.

"If I let you go, will you stay quiet?" The man asks as he brushes your cheek.

You try to nod, but you can't, "Mhm."

You feel your body relax and you sigh, "How the fu-"

"Lower.. your voice." He walks around and presses his chest against your back, "Don't you want to know who I am?"

"N-no." You hesitate because you were intrigued by him, but you also didn't want to die.

"You won't die, baby."

You look over your shoulder at him confused. He chuckles, "I can read your mind, so that means I also know that you find me intriguing, but you're still scared."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Cole, but I go by Colby. Or-" he laughs, "did. I did go by Colby before.. ya know."

Your eyes go wide, "So that was real?"

"What the ouija board?" He nods, "Oh yeah, that was all me."

"You spelled out my name. Why?" You turn to face him, "Why me?"

"Because I like you. Your energy intrigues me as well." He runs his fingers along the open seams of your costumes, "Why don't you pick up where you left off, yeah?"

You bite your lip, multiple things going through your head.

He sighs, "Alright. I'll answer those questions because you're giving me a headache." He chuckles and steps back, "My name is Colby, or Cole. I am in fact a demon, and I died when I was twenty four, but that conversation is for another time."

You blink, trying to comprehend what he just said.

"And yes. That was me controlling you, I can honestly make you do anything I want you to, but if you're a good girl and do as I say, I won't have to." He winks and walks over to the bed, plopping down onto his side.

"How.. I mean.." you pinch the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes. You sigh and look up at him, "I thought demons had horns and black eyes or other creepy features.."

Colby chuckles, "I have horns, yes. But like what I said about making you do things, i can make you see things, too."

As you stare at him, his image flashes in your mind and you see him with horns and his blue eyes are black. You blink and look back at him and he's normal looking.

"Crazy right?" He sighs and heaves himself forward to sit up, "I can walk amongst the living, just like this and I can even control more than one person.. if I wanted to."

"Why are you here?" You cross your arms, feeling a chill run down your spine as he walks up to you. He looks into your eyes and they flash quickly from blue to black, "Because you want me here."

"I don't remember ordering a demon off Uber Eats." You snap and he laughs, "You're funny and pretty? Jackpot."

He walks around you, his hand sending a tingle through your shoulder as he touches it, "The devil himself would love you. You know why?"

"Why?" You slowly turn your head to meet his gaze and he smirks, "Because you portray yourself as an angel, but really you're just as nasty as me."

Your heart beat picks up pace and it makes Colby smirk, "You don't have to be nervous, darling." He tucks hair behind your ear and sighs, "I won't hurt you. Not unless you want me to."

He winks and you feel a warmth spreading over your body.

"What do you want from me?" You chew on your inner cheek and he stares into your eyes, "What I want from you right now, is for these clothes to come off."

Your hands move to finish taking off your costume, leaving yourself naked infront of him.

"You're such a treasure." He licks his lips and steps towards you, "Tell me what you want me to do."

"I-I don't-"

Colby cuts you off, "I can read your thoughts, baby. But that's not enough for me. I need to hear you say it."

You clench your jaw, trying to keep the thoughts out, but you couldn't. They were strong and you didn't know where they were coming from.

"Are you putting these thoughts into my head?" You look up at him and he shakes his head, "I am not. That's all you, baby."

You're shocked. Shocked because you're so turned on by him when you really should be petrified.

"There's no reason to be afraid of me, baby. The only people I hurt is people that deserve it, and you my dear, are far from deserving of that." He smiles, "I'm here to serve you, if you will."

"Serve me?" You swallow, "What do-"

He cuts you off with his lips on yours and you immediately become his. You can't explain it, but it feels like you belong to him.

His hands move into your hips, warming the skin as he squeezes, "Fuck." He leans back and shakes his head, "Tell me you need me."

"I need you." You whimper out quietly.

He tilts his head, "do you?"

You nod, "Yes." You felt like it was him making you say that, but he assures you it's not.

You pull him back into you, kissing his lips only to pull away when there's a knock on your door, "Y/n? You good?" Sam jiggles the door knob, but you don't remember locking the door.

"I locked it." Colby makes you look at him and his eyes flash black, causing you to stare into them as he speaks, "Tell him you're going to bed."

"I'm going to bed."

"Oh... alright. Well I'm just going to crash on your couch if that's okay." Sam says from in the hallway.

You look over at Colby and he nods.

"Yeah, no that's fine, Sam." You bite your lip, "Goodnight."

"Yeah.. night.." he walks away mumbling to himself and Colby appears in front of you, "Now let me show you something cool."

He stares at you and you feel a pleasure sensation slowly consume you. You furrow your brows, taking a deep breath as you try not to moan.

"Let it out baby, don't fight it." Colby whispers and you moan almost instantly.

Colby smirks, waking around your body, "I can make you feel things without even touching you." You tilt your head back, eyes fluttering close as you feel the feeling you get right before you're about to cum.

And then it stops.

You whimper, sad the feeling is gone.

"Don't worry baby. We have all night. Well." He looks at the clock on your wall and shrugs, "At least until midnight, so we better get to it yeah?"

You look at the clock that reads eleven twelve, "why midnight?"

"We can leave hell empty all night, baby. But let's not worry about that right now." He pulls you to him, lifting you up and your legs wrap around his waist.

He walks you over to the bed, "Spread your legs for me, I haven't tasted pussy in years." He kisses down your body and you bite your lip as gets closer to your clit.

You arch your back, moaning out as his tongue drags up between your folds, "Fuck." You look down at him and his eyes flash black, his voice ringing in your ears as his tongue laps at your pussy, "Don't cum until I tell you to cum."

You nod, closing your eyes as you lay your head back, whimpering out his name.

His voice rings in your ears again, "Say my name, baby."

"Colby.. fuck, yes, Colby." You arch your back, moaning out as your hand slides to his hair, pulling slightly which earns a moan from him.

You look back down at him, biting your lip as you lock eyes with him.

You freeze when you feel the feeling of two fingers slip into you, but his hands are still on your hips, digging his nails into your skin.

Your eyes roll back and you let out a loud groan, "Oh my god."

Colby pulls away, "God's not here baby. You're dancing with the devil tonight."

His words make your lips part and the feeling of being finger fucked heightens. Colby watches you as he controls how you feel.

Your legs start to shake as you approach orgasm, but Colby is holding you back from it, "a little longer baby. Can you do that for me?"

You nod quickly, gasping as his hand moves to rub circles onto your clit, "Tell me."

"I-I can.. I can.. I can.." You needed to cum, and you needed to cum bad, "Please? Please Colby."

"Please Colby what, baby?" He watches as you look up at him, "please let me cum."

He smirks and sighs, "Since you asked nicely." He bites his lip, tilting his head as he pulls his hand away, "Cum."

Your body explodes with pleasure. Your thighs press together and you're pulling the sheets off of the mattresses.

The best orgasm you've ever had.

"I take pride in that, baby. Thank you." He leans down, kissing your lips as you breathe heavy, "I'm only here to give you the absolute best pleasure you'll ever get."

You smirk up at him, in awe of his power, "Don't ever leave."

He chuckles and stands back up, "I wish, but if you only knew what it's like down there. Devil runs a strict schedule."

You can't help but laugh and his face goes serious, "I'm not kidding."

Your smile disappears and he can't help but laugh, "Nah, I'm just playing. But I will be back. I can tell you that right now." He slips his shirt off and starts to undo the belt on his jeans, "you won't ever get rid of me."

And you were weirdly okay with that.

You bit your lip as you watch the demon before you undress and walk over to you.

"On your knees, baby."

Your body moves from the bed and drops to the floor, "Not fair."

"Never said I was." He grips your chin and forces you to look up at him, "You can always tell me to stop. But I know you don't want me to."

"No." You whisper and he tilts his head, "No what, baby?"

"Don't stop."

He chuckles, "That's what I thought." He takes his hand away and you part your lips, waiting for the head of his cock to enter.

He lets out a low, deep moan as you work your head down onto his cock, bobbing it and hallowing out your cheeks.

"Fuck, you're better than i ever imagined." He lays a hand on the back of your head and you feel that finger fuck feeling again. You moan around his cock and close your eyes.

"Eyes on me, baby."

You look up at him, whimpering as you feel the pleasure work its ways up your body, legs shaking below you.

"Such a beautiful sight." Colby groans, "fuck, yeah. Keep going." His fingers wrap around your hair, pulling tight as he pushes your head down more.

You gag around him and he pulls your head off, eyes flashing black, "Stand up."

The pleasure stops completely as you rise to your feet, obeying his order.

"Get on your hands and knees." He nods towards the bed and you comply, walking over to the bed and bending over for him.

He walks up behind you, bringing his hand up to let it fall with a quick smack to your one asscheek. You wince, biting your lip, "Do it again."

Colby chuckles, "Since when did you become the one in charge?"

You clench your jaw and look back at him and his eyes flash black, "You won't be able to cum until I say you can." He winks, flashing you a smirk before pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, "How's that?"

You roll your eyes and he gasps, "Are we catching an attitude? Last time I checked.." He reaches up and grabs your hair, pulling your head back and looking down at you, "You weren't the demon in this situation, now, not another word until I tell you."

You bite down on your lip, whimper as you feel his fingers slide up and down your slit, "You're soaked, darling, I wanna hear all those pretty sounds."

He rubs the head of his cock along your folds, slowly pushes past them, "Fuck." You rest your head down on the bed, moaning out loudly.

"That's it." Colby groans as he pushes his hips against your ass. His hands squeeze your hips, pulling you back and holding you on him, listening to each moan and whimper that slips through your lips.

"Let's hear em, babe." He slowly pulls his cock out and thrusts back in, hard. You gasp, moaning loudly he keeps a slow and hard pace, "You sound so pretty."

You grip the sheets, pulling as you try and push back, but you're frozen again, all you can do is moan, hoping he lets you speak.

"You wanna speak, baby?" He taunts, "you wanna tell me how good my cock feels?"

You whimper in response, clenching around his cock and he sigh, "Alright baby. Tell me how good you feel."

"So fucking good." You scream out, "please.." you whimper, "Please don't stop."

"I won't, darling, but you have me so close already." He brings a hand down, slapping the skin of your asscheek, "You are fucking.." he groans and squeezes your ass, railing into you.

"Hands behind your back and keep them there."

Your hands move, laying on your lower back like they're tied together, a moaning, unraveling mess under his control.

And you loved it.

"I knew you couldn't turn me away." Colby moans out, laying a hand over your wrists and holding them, using them to pull you back into his thrusts, "Do you want to be choked?"

"Yes, but I want you to touch me." You squeeze your eyes shut and lift your head slightly as you feel his hand slide up your body and around to the front of your neck.

He pulls you up so you're on your knees, "No one has ever had this much power over me." He whispers in your ear, "No one."

You smirk slightly at both his words and his hand squeezing your neck.

"Such a dirty girl, I know exactly where you're going when it's your time." He thrusts into you, his thrusts quickly getting sloppy, "And I'll be waiting for you."

You moan and tilt your head back, resting it on his shoulder, "Colby." You whimper out, "P-please."

He smirks, "Words, baby. I need you to use your words."

"Let me cum.." you moan out, "P-pl-" he squeezes your neck tighter, cutting off your words. He runs his nose up and down your cheek, "If you cum, that means you're mine. No one else's."

A squeak slips from your throat, "Y-yes."

"I mean it." He bites down on your ear lobe, "I know you have a crush on Sam.." you bite down on your lip and he sighs, "But I guess he can suffice when I'm not able to come to you right away."

Your eyes go wide and Colby chuckles, "I'm just kidding. He touches you and I'll snap his fucking neck."

You can't help but moan as you clench around him, “No one but you.” You whisper out, “P-please Colby.”

“Do you mean it?” His thrusts are slow, as he’s trying not to cum himself, “Be honest with me baby.”

Instantly, “Yes, yes, only you. Only you.”

He glances at the wall and tsks his tongue, “Gotta go soon baby. Lay on your back for me.”

You roll over after he pulls out and he immediately slides back into you, a moan pulled from your lips. Colby brushes hair from your face, staring down at you as you look up at him.

You see his natural look flash and a smile grows on his face, “It’s the horns right?”

You bite your lip and nod and he chuckles, “Yeah. Maybe next time I’ll wear em for ya.” He winks and begins to thrusts again, biting down on his lower lip as he watches your face scrunch up.

“C-Colby, please.” Your legs wrap around his waist and your nails drag up his back, forming red lines, “Fuck.”

He says nothing as he watches you beg for him.

You let out a whine, laying a hand on his cheek, “Please.”

He leans down, pressing his lips to yours before leaning just an inch away, “Cum.”

Your back arches up, a pornographic moan ripping from your lips as your orgasm tears its way through your body.

Colby moans with you, as he fills you with his cum, “that’s it baby. Let it all out.” He watches you twist and turn, trying to get yourself under control, but you quickly realize that you’ll never be in control with Colby.

“Alright, relax, darling.”

You rest into the bed as your chest rises and falls quickly as the dizziness fills your head.

“I’ll be seeing you soon, baby. Don’t go too far.” Colby chuckles and when you open your eyes, you’re alone.

You sit up, pulling a blanket around yourself as you frown at the clock on the wall that reads midnight.

You shake your head, wondering if this actually happened or if it was all just an alcohol induced dream, but the quick settling pain in your legs as you stand up, makes it known to you that it’s definitely a reality and not a dream.

You look in the mirror, laughing slightly as you find yourself missing Colby.

You swore you’d never touch a Oujia board, but now, you’re kinda, in a very weird way, happy you did.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

This is kinda short in my opinion, so sorry about that! But I have ideas for a part 2 on this! I have many many requests that I’m going to try and power through, so part 2’s will be on hold for right now!

Likes and reblogs are appreciated!

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roosterforme · 6 months

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The Younger Kind Part 38 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: You and Bradley spend some family time fishing on the boat, followed by some private time just for the two of you. But after a dreamy afternoon, you want to return to the lake house and see Noah before bedtime. Then you get distracted by what you see on Bradley's phone.

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, smut, pregnancy talk, and age gap (18+)

Length: 4000 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.

Bradley had never seen anyone get so happy about an earthworm before. Noah thought they were hilarious, and he made a mess on the floor of the boat, playing with them while everyone else was fishing.

"Hey, Bub, can I have one of the worms to use as bait?" Bradley asked him when he checked his hook to see that it was empty. There were a few other boats out in the middle of Big Bear Lake, and it was just a beautiful day to spend with everyone.

"Here," Noah picked one up and handed it to Bradley. "Feed the fish, Daddy."

"Thank you," he replied, bending to kiss his son on the head and accept the worm.

"I need one, too," you said, holding out your hook for Bradley. You were not as delighted by the worms as Noah was. Bradley knew he'd be the one cleaning up the mess later, but it didn't matter. Amelia was sunbathing, Penny was reading, and Mav was the only one catching any fish. But everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Once Bradley got you set up with fresh bait, you stepped a little closer to him and whispered, "Thanks, Daddy." And it was like he was back in bed with you. The way he wanted to touch you right now as you ran your fingers along his thigh was indecent. You were wearing the tiniest dress he'd ever seen with your bathing suit on underneath it, and Bradley slid his sunglasses down to look at you.

"I need you to behave," he replied softly enough that nobody else could hear him over the radio playing. "You'll get it later."

You whimpered softly. "That's your Daddy voice."

"Later," he told you firmly with a smirk. He knew what he was doing. Amelia, Maverick and Penny already offered to take Noah back for an afternoon nap so you and he could have the boat alone for a bit, and then he would do anything you wanted. The two of you could watch the sun set and drink some of the weird seltzers you packed. Bradley could hold you on his lap just the way he liked where you looked at him and talked to him like you'd never need anything else but him.

Then he felt something tugging his line as he started reeling it in. "Noah! I got a fish! Come help me!" Noah scrambled over to where Bradley was sure he had hooked a fish, and he placed Noah's little hand beneath his own so he could help reel it in.

"Did it eat the worm?" Noah asked, his little arm pumping as fast as it could with Bradley's.

"Maybe," he replied as you knelt down next to them to cheer them on. Even Amelia came over to see how big it was as it came to the surface, wiggling around all over the place.

"I don't know if it's a keeper," Maverick said as he reached for his measuring tape.

Noah was cackling as the fish splashed water up on his face. "It ate the worm! It ate the worm!"

"It's not big enough," Maverick confirmed, and Bradley handed you the rod so he could take the fish off and return it to the water.

"We can't keep this one, Bub," Bradley told him as he untangled the hook. "Sorry." He dipped the fish back into the lake and then let it swim away.

Noah's eyes suddenly filled with tears. "We can't have a dog or a fish?"

Now you and Noah were both looking up at him with the saddest eyes he'd ever seen. "We just want a pet," you whispered, kissing Noah's chubby cheek.

"Good Lord," Bradley muttered, and you cracked a smile. "Noah, that's not even the kind of fish you can keep as a pet. It's too big to have at home. Pet fish are like little goldfish from the pet store."

"Maybe we can get him a beta fish for his room?" you asked as everyone else returned to their previous activities.

"Maybe," Bradley grunted. "Jesus, I think I'd rather have a dog than have to keep flushing fish and trying to find identical looking ones to replace it with."

"Yay!" you chanted, picking Noah up and instantly making him smile. "I think it's working." Then you pulled the wet wipes out of your bag and cleaned him up before letting him sit up on the top part of the boat and eat his sandwich. Bradley made a mental note to look up which dog breeds didn't shed.

----------------------------

You sat on the plush bench and waved to everyone else while Bradley slowly pulled the boat away from the dock. Amelia and Penny were holding the empty cooler. Noah was perched up on Maverick's shoulders wearing his aviators and shouting, "Bye, Mommy! Bye, Daddy!" You blew him a kiss and watched them start walking back up to the house.

The afternoon sun was hot on your skin but the rush of air was keeping you cool as you leaned back and closed your eyes. You weren't going to be able to hide your desire for Bradley, your body was already thrumming with need. When you opened your eyes and pulled your legs up onto the bench so you could undo your sandals, your eyes caught on Bradley's broad back and shoulders. The wind was whipping through his hair as he stood in front of the captain's chair and steered the boat to a quieter, more secluded part of the lake.

When he eased back on the throttle and the engine noise quieted a bit, you stood and wrapped your arm around his waist from behind. Bradley tucked you against his side with a smile before sliding you to stand right in front of him. "Why don't you steer for a while? I got some other things I want to do."

He guided one of your hands up to the wheel and placed your other hand on the throttle, and then his big hands found their way to your body. He swayed behind you to the motion of the boat as you steered along the shoreline on the far side of the lake where there were fewer houses. Bradley bunched the fabric of your dress up in both of his hands as he squeezed your waist through your dress. "I love you, Princess," he murmured against your neck and bare shoulder.

You leaned back into his warmth and asked, "How do we stop the boat?"

Bradley covered your hand on the throttle with his and eased it all the way down until the engine died, his lips never leaving your skin. And now you felt warm everywhere as the sun beat down on your bodies and glittered off the water. The boat drifted gently along toward the middle of the lake as Bradley murmured, "I can't believe you have me considering getting a dog. What have you done to me?"

You spun in his arms and laughed. "That was all Noah."

"Nah, it was you, too. And you know it."

"You're just a big softie for us," you whispered as a bead of sweat trickled down your back at the same time you felt goosebumps on your legs. Bradley reached down for the hem of your sundress and started to guide the fabric up to your hips.

"If we have a baby," he rasped, "it'll just get worse. I'll be outnumbered three to one."

"Four to one if there's a dog involved," you added, nodding helpfully.

"Four to one?" He pulled your dress off, leaving you standing there in your purple bikini that didn't leave a whole lot to the imagination. "Can't I at least have the dog on my side?"

"You can try." You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. "Good luck with that."

"Well shit," he grunted, pressing himself against your belly. He was already hard, but you were enjoying the way his fingers were trailing slowly down your back like he wasn't in a rush. "Looks like I'm just a big softie after all."

You nodded solemnly. "There's nothing that can be done for you, Daddy. But at least you're hard where it counts." He smirked when you squeezed him through his bathing suit.

"That's just for you, too." You could feel him untying the knot in your bathing suit straps along the middle of your back before bringing his rough hands around to cup your bare breasts as the top hung off of your neck. "And these are mine."

"Yes, Daddy." You tried to return his kisses, but your head tipped back, and you moaned as he teased you. He stroked the undersides of your breasts so gently before bringing his thumbs up to pinch your nipples and then soothing them. "Oh god," you moaned as he pinched you again.

You clenched hard around nothing as Bradley leaned down to run his nose and mustache along your jaw. "You're always so sensitive for me. You gonna make me beg for this right now?"

"You don't have to beg," you moaned as his right hand came up to stroke your cheek before he untied your suit bottoms and let them fall to your feet. You could feel his fingers press against your clit before sliding down to your opening, and his lips met your ear.

"You're such a good girl."

You could barely think when he talked to you like this and touched you just right. He'd spend all day working you up and getting you off if you told him you wanted him to. You knew he would. You knew he'd take care of you in every way. You knew he loved you. You'd never had anything even close to this, and now you'd never want anything else.

On shaky legs, you managed to push him back onto the captain's chair and scramble up onto his lap. "Daddy," you panted softly before pressing your lips to his and rubbing your soaking wet pussy on his hard cock through his bathing suit. He'd reduced your vocabulary to just that one word. "Daddy."

Bradley seemed to understand that you needed him as he lifted his hips up and pulled his cock free, and you were sinking down around him before he was even seated again. "Oh, yeah," he groaned as he carefully untied the last knot at the back of your neck and let your bikini top join your bottoms. "Mine."

His hands on your hips only let you move at the slowest pace that left you a little dizzy as his mouth found your breasts. So you ran your hands up his strong arms to his shoulders and held on as he took everything nice and slow. You could barely focus on your surroundings long enough to determine if anyone was closeby to see the two of you fucking.

"What if somebody....?"

He released your nipple with a pop and said, "They can't see us, Baby." Then he kissed his way up your chest to your neck, and he groaned as your pussy squeezed around him. "Fuck."

"Feels good," you whispered, still rocking at that deliciously slow tempo as he brought his lips up to meet yours. Playful kisses and nibbles led to the soft sweep of his tongue against yours as you played with his hair. Every few strokes of his cock left you fluttering around him. "Oh. Oh!" you gasped, a little surprised and bashful at how your orgasm was creeping up on you. And about how strong it was.

Bradley broke the kiss so he could watch your face in awe as you suddenly keened loudly, rolling your hips. Rolling. Squeezing. He was hitting every sensitive spot inside you with his pretty cock, and your clit rubbed his coarse, trimmed hairs until you were shaking. Your toes curled. Your fingers shook as you tried to hold onto him. Your head lulled back as you came and came.

And those big hands on your hips guided you through the whole thing.

"Princess," Bradley groaned, his eyes squeezing shut in pleasure as his forehead creased almost like he was in pain. "Oh, fuck. Baby!" He pushed himself deeper up into you as he filled you with cum, and you let your cheek rest on his warm shoulder, unable to hold yourself up any longer.

He held you tight as he panted, stroking his fingers down your back and making you shiver. Your name was a whisper on his lips as he told you he loved you, and he kept himself buried inside you like he needed to feel close. No, you'd never want anything else.

------------------------

You were a little sweaty and sticky from his cum dripping down your legs as Bradley helped you stand up. "I have an idea," he murmured, brushing his fingers along your shoulder and kissing your forehead softly. You looked like you were still in a daze as you glanced around in every direction to make sure there was still nobody else around. God, you looked like he'd just fucked you to within an inch of your life, when in reality he'd just led you through a slow-build orgasm that left you practically screaming for him.

He kissed your cheek one more time before he stripped out of his swim trunks and climbed up onto the edge of the boat, jumping into the crystal clear lake. The water felt freezing on his overheated skin, and he laughed as you finally seemed to snap out of your daze.

"You coming in?" he asked as he pushed his hair away from his forehead and started to tread water.

"Is it cold?"

He kind of shrugged and said, "Feels great. Would feel even better if you were in here with me."

Bradley watched you climb awkwardly up onto the edge and scream as you jumped in, your gorgeous body fully on display for him. He watched you go under and then come up sputtering. "It's freezing, you liar!"

He chuckled and swam over to you, and then he wrapped you in his arms and kissed your fingers and your purple painted nails. "We'll get out in a minute, and I'll wrap you up in a towel and snuggle with you on the bench."

"Yes," you agreed immediately. "I want that now."

Bradley let you swim back to the boat, and he helped you push yourself out of the water so you could wrap yourself in a towel. But he swam a few laps around the boat as he thought about your cum-filled pussy and what that might mean for him if he kept it up. It brought a smile to his face every time he thought about making the other bedroom into a nursery. You were teaching Noah how to read, and pretty soon he might be practicing reading to his baby sibling. Bradley loved the idea of all of it. Even the goddamn dog.

When he pulled himself up into the boat, you reached out and handed him the other towel. "Thanks, Baby," he said, and you snuggled back sheepishly into your oversize towel on the bench. He walked to the cooler, dripping water along the way as he wrapped the towel around his waist. "What's wrong?" he asked, digging around for the snack he brought.

"Nothing," you murmured as his hand closed around the bag.

He plopped down on the bench with a foot of space between your bodies. "Sounds like something."

You bit your lip and said, "It's embarrassing."

"What is?" he asked, setting the bag down and focusing on you. "What could have embarrassed you?"

You rolled your eyes and looked up at the sky which was turning an array of colors as the sun approached the horizon. "My response to you. I know I don't have as much experience as you do, but you pretty much always manage to make me come... and you had me practically screaming just now. And we were barely moving."

"Hey," Bradley whispered. "That was the fucking hottest thing. Nothing to be embarrassed about." When you didn't respond, he said, "It's not just you. Yeah, you're sensitive for me, and I love using that to my advantage. But you make me wild like nobody else ever has."

"Really?" you asked, lowering the towel from your face a few inches. "I do?"

"Baby, you almost made me cum in my pants last week. And the first time you gave me head? I thought I was going to pass out or potentially die. That's how turned on I get."

"That's good," you said softly, grinning. "I like being on an even playing field with you."

Bradley reached for the bag of Skittles and said, "I have some more bait."

"You're going to try to catch more fish right now?" you asked, shifting on the bench.

He shook his head. "I'm not here to catch a fish right now. I'm here to catch a Princess."

"You already caught one," you replied with a laugh.

Bradley held up the bag and shook it gently as a bright smile filled your features. "Just to be sure...."

"Yeah," you whispered as he tore the bag open, "that's the right kind of bait." You crawled across the bench and climbed onto his lap. He welcomed you there as you straddled his thigh and parted your lips. Bradley groaned as he shook a yellow Skittle out of the bag and ran it along your bottom lip before gently setting it on your tongue. You were young and beautiful which was exciting, but you were also smart and strong and loving. And Bradley wanted to take care of this connection with you so it would always be here.

He kissed you as you slowly chewed your Skittle. "That's a good girl. Take the bait," he said with a laugh, repeating the process with a red one and a purple one.

"And that's your Daddy voice again," you whispered as he fed you more candy.

"Just practicing for when I'm your Daddy and Noah's Daddy and another little one's Daddy."

You ran your nose along his as you smiled and whispered, "Don't forget about the dog."

The sun set with you wrapped in your towel on his lap and your head on his shoulder. You chewed up the last piece of candy just as Bradley whispered that it was getting dark and you needed to head back. He helped you slip your dress back on, and he steered the boat back to the dock with you nestled against his body. "I kind of want this forever," he murmured.

"Me too."

------------------------

You and Bradley finally made it back to the dock in the semidarkness. It took you a few times to tie everything down correctly as you laughed. You felt like you were on a bit of a sugar rush from the Skittles, and you giggled when Bradley said, "Holy shit. We almost forgot your bathing suit."

He jumped back onto the boat from the dock as you held up his phone flashlight so he could see. "It wouldn't have been the end of the world if we left it here."

"Yes, it would," he replied, bending down near the captain's chair to retrieve both pieces. "What would you spend all summer sunbathing in on our deck at home?"

"Nothing at all," you said, and he dropped your bikini top and had to pick it up again.

"Shit," he grunted while you laughed, and your fingers slipped on his phone. You gasped and caught it in both hands, accidentally opening up his web browser which was filled with open tabs to diamond engagement rings. Your jaw dropped as you looked at rings more beautiful than anything you'd ever seen before. Bradley had apparently even taken a quiz titled Which engagement ring is perfect for my future wife?

Future wife. He'd talked about it before. Mentioned a ring and a future and security. You were in his will. He let Noah call you his mommy. He wanted to get married. But you almost dropped the phone again when you noticed a tab that said baby girl names.

"We almost forgot our trash, too," Bradley said as he climbed back onto the dock, holding up the Skittles wrapper along with your bathing suit.

You were in a daze as you murmured, "Don't call Skittles wrappers trash. They serve a very important role by delivering delicious treats to princesses."

"Oh, you're right. I'm sorry," he said with a bit of an eye roll as he squatted down in front of you and helped you buckle your sandals for the walk back to the house. "It's not just common trash. It's a symbol of royalty."

"That's right," you whispered. You had his face partially illuminated by the flashlight as you scrolled through some of the baby names before closing out of the browser. He was taking all of this very seriously. You should have known he would; as soon as he'd deleted that dating app from his phone, he was all in. All yours.

You handed him back his phone when he stood, and you launched yourself into his arms. He kissed you and rubbed your back through your dress. You could hear his stomach growling which made you smile even more as you kissed your words against his lips. "I love you."

His response was a deep, soft rumble at the back of his throat. "I love you too, Princess."

"Let's go eat dinner and see Noah." He seemed to like your response, rewarding you with so many kisses on the short walk back to the house. But when you arrived, it was later than you anticipated. Maverick was asleep on the couch next to the Christmas tree, Amelia was eating Christmas cookies, and Penny was reading the end of her book.

"Noah's already asleep," she whispered. "I gave him a bath, and then he was closing his eyes before his head hit the pillow. We grilled dinner. Grab some leftover burgers and hot dogs from the kitchen if you want," she added with a smirk.

At least she didn't comment on how messy Bradley's hair looked or the fact that he was carrying your bathing suit in his big hand when you used to be wearing it under your dress. "Sounds good," you whispered, and Bradley followed you into the kitchen. You watched him eat a handful of cookies while you heated up some of the leftovers from dinner. Then he inhaled two burgers and a hot dog while you ate one burger.

"You were starving," you said with a laugh, noting that he looked very relaxed although tired.

"I was," he groaned, eating another cookie. "Sun, sex and boating. Oh man. Wiped me right out."

"You're a simple man," you said, pushing him down the hallway toward your bedroom and the ensuite bathroom. "Let's take a shower."

You let Bradley wash your body with his big, soapy hands as he hummed his favorite song against your skin. Your belly was full and your senses were overwhelmed by his voice and the lemon scented soap and the steamy shower. You were yawning as he carried you to the bed, your skin still a little damp as you climbed naked under the covers with his body at your back. He was impossibly warm, fingers laced with yours, legs tangled together.

"Love you," he murmured, kissing your shoulder.

You thought about his phone as you brought your hand along with his to rest against your belly. "If we have a baby," you asked softly, "do you think you'd want a boy or a girl?"

"Mmm. Don't care," he replied right away, and he sounded like he was already starting to fall asleep. "But a girl would be nice."

---------------------------

The way I want to live in this chapter. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 39

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genderqueerpond · 3 days

Text

We don't talk enough about the fact that Amelia Pond, s5 Amelia Pond, before the timeline is reset, isn't just a normal orphan. Her parents didn't die, didn't abandon her, and didn't send her away. They never existed in the first place.

And if her parents never existed, then Amelia cannot exist. She is a causal impossibility.

"People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces." A photograph. A face carved into an apple. Yes. Sure.

A child.

Now that's too big, surely.

But that's what she is. She is exactly the same as these things. A trace. An echo of something that could never be, never was, never could have been.

And the universe should never allow it. A whole person, that's just too much. She could not have continued to exist indefinitely, in normal circumstances, after her parents never existed.

In normal circumstances.

Because the Doctor didn't just save her from things coming out of the crack in her wall. He saved her from going into it. And he didn't just save her from the threat of going into it simply because of its vicinity.

No, by arriving when he did, he interrupted a process that was probably already in motion. And then by arriving again only moments later on a cosmic relative timestream (too quickly for the process to complete) and yet in the local relative timestream, years later --- years of a potential future caught midway through the process of rewriting -- he solidified that existence. Amy is a creature from another timeline, caught in amber. The Doctor prevented her from never existing, but only after she could already never exist.

And so, no one around Amelia thinks about it. Neither does she. There's some kind of consciousness block, because if you thought about it, really thought about it, for two seconds you'd realize she cannot exist. And the human mind can't deal with that. So, to protect itself, everyone's brain simply slides off it before ever noticing. They just assume that her existence makes sense, and don't question it, and don't notice what they don't question, that is staring them in the face.

But of course, to some extent they do notice. They can't think it, but they notice subconsciously that there's something they can't think. They notice there's something wrong with her, something uncanny. And they don't like it, and they alienate her even more because of it.

"Does it ever bother you Pond that your life existence doesn't make any sense?"

#like!!!!!! why arent we talking about this!!!!!!!#amelia pond #amy pond #the ultimate autism metaphor on top of being autistic anyway #doctor who #dw #ndw #dw theory #lavender thoughts #SHE CAN'T EXIST SHE IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE #you called clara the impossible girl but that's amy #and THEN the fact that even after it's all set right #she remains shaped by -- remains deeply traumatized by -- a timeline that never happened; a reality that never was #AUGH !!!!!#some wounds just can't heal even if the thing that caused them never existed in the first place #some wounds remain as a TRACE of the other time just as you yourself were once #THE mental illness rep of all time #and in the big bang of course the doctor had to take the shortcut because if they'd all gone the long way round #she'd have been gone before he got there #as starless universe's little amelia disappeared.... it could be millienia but from another perspective it HAD to be moments #they made it only in the nick of time #and the doctor knew that #pond #the life and times of amy pond

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joequiinn · 17 days

Text

The Dos & Don'ts of Fake Dating | E.M. x reader | pt. 4

[all chapters here]

summary: You propose a crazy idea to the resident freak of Hawkins, Eddie Munson. But maybe he was even crazier for agreeing to it…

notes & tropes: fem reader, faking dating, opposites attract, bratty rich bitch reader, minor revenge plot, not-quite-enemies-to-lovers

a/n: Oooh lads, here we are again! I was going to save this chapter for tomorrow, but I'm having a bad day, so I decided to treat all of us with an update today! Not too much happens in this chapter, however, it still charmed me very much, and I'm the one who fucking wrote it lol. As always, enjoy and let me know what you think!

taglist: @costellation-hunter @daisyridleyss @damon-loves-pie @damp4eddie @delilaaahhh @kthomps914 @lotrefcp @marrowfrog00 @mewchiili @munsonssweets @no-bueno-writer @rach5ive @sav12321 @steeldaisies

wc: 4.0k

“What the hell?” Amelia hisses while practically slamming down her lunch tray. You looked up at her with feigned ignorance, your eyes cool as you took both her and Janet in. You’d once again attempted sitting at your new lunch table, the same dorky couple sharing it with you, amongst a few of their friends. Although the group briefly eyed you, they’d been ignoring you for the past few minutes. That is, until your friends showed up.

“What?” You asked before turning your attention back to your food.

“You know what.” Amelia insisted, staying on her feet with an irate look. You were shocked she even dared to come out here in no man’s land to talk to you for a second time. Janet, submissive as ever, stayed back, looking between you both with worried eyes, “Did you hit your head or something? Why are you suddenly so interested in Munson?”

Annoyance jaded your features. You settle your glaring eyes on Amelia, your voice just as accusatory as hers, “Why does it matter?”

She scoffed as if it was the most obvious thing in the word, “Because he’s a loser. What’s everyone gonna think if they keep seeing you two together? You already made a scene this morning, they’re already talking.”

You shrugged, far too nonchalantly for Amelia’s taste, as you spoke around a bite of food, which was actually your way of hiding the glee you felt knowing that people were already talking about you and Eddie, “Does it matter? Does any of this shit matter?”

“Of course it does.” Janet finally chimed in, her voice calm compared to Amelia, “You could get yourself in trouble hanging out with someone like him.”

You rolled your eyes before shooting her a condescending look, “When have I ever gotten in trouble for literally anything?”

“It’s bound to happen eventually.” Amelia countered, and you finally dropped your fork to look at them both, your frustration growing.

“If it bothers you so much,” You start, your tone cold and direct, as non-emotional and harsh as you could manage, “start hanging out with someone else. Start hanging around Duncan, for all I care. We have loads of other friends who I’m sure won’t do something as stupid as talking to a boy.”

Amelia rolled her eyes at the way you mocked them, familiar with the tone of voice you were using. She’s heard you use it at least half a dozen times before when you two had gotten into stupid arguments in the past.

“Look, whenever you’re done PMSing or whatever, you’ll see where we’re coming from.” With a finite look on her face, Amelia picked up her lunch tray again and headed off back to her familiar, comfortable lunch table. Janet gave you an apologetic look before scurrying off a moment later.

You should be upset. And, yes, a part of you was irritated by the conversation, and yet, a large smile spread across your face - you didn’t anticipate that you’d piss Amelia off so quickly and acutely. You two have fought a number of times before considering how easily your personalities could clash, but this felt like you actually accomplished something. Your plan was already working wonders, despite your continued doubts.

As you went back to your quiet lunch, you couldn’t help but watch your group of friends from afar, mostly in irritation, although you felt a mild pang of loss in your chest. They all looked so happy, so at ease with one another, and a part of you suddenly missed that feeling. But you knew you were just being nostalgic, because you wouldn’t feel any of those things if you sat with them - you wouldn’t feel happy or at ease, rather you’d feel annoyed and tense.

Yet you couldn’t help but that bit of sadness you felt at the sight of them.

Even Duncan, that asshole, looked cheery as he shared a laugh with the guys, clapping one of them on the shoulder. You couldn’t help but glower at the sight of him. Diverting your attention, your eyes began to scan the lunch room, wondering where exactly Eddie and his band of rejects sat. You’d never noticed before considering that it didn’t matter in the past, but it was probably a good idea to start keeping track of these types of things.

You eventually found the gaggle of geeks, watching as they excitedly conversed. The mean-spirited part of you made a judgmental face, assuming they were talking about D&D or the arcade or something else equally as nerdy. After a few moments of taking in the group as a whole, you found yourself studying Eddie’s face, taking in his ever-changing expression; he didn’t seem to notice you watching him, which gave you a better chance at observing him.

Eddie was always theatrical, you realized, always throwing his arms around as he spoke or raising his voice for particular emphasis. You found it strange just how big his communication style was, especially considering how tightly wound you always were. Where he had his exaggerated movements and his dramatic tones, you had your tight motions and controlled voice. Just thinking about how different he was dared to give you a headache, and you caught yourself wondering what the hell you’d be in for once you two moved your fake relationship along.

Eventually, Eddie seemed to sense eyes on him, because his gaze found yours curiously. You raised an eyebrow, unsure if he was able to see the movement from halfway across the cafeteria; when he made a face in return, you figured he noticed. He, too, raised both brows as if in question, nudging his head ever so slightly - it appeared that he was asking you to join him, but you couldn't be sure if that’s what he meant. Nonetheless, you shook your head at him, deciding that you were enjoying your quiet lunch and that you weren’t quite ready to put up with his group of loser friends for even five minutes. Regardless of whether or not you wanted to, you knew you’d get to that point eventually. Eddie gave a shrug of his shoulders, as if silently saying “suit yourself;” and although he turned his gaze back to his friends, you two continued stealing glances for the remainder of your lunch break.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

Come Wednesday morning, Amelia wasn’t waiting for you at your locker. No one was except for Janet, who looked tense before she spotted you walking towards her. She tried to put on a brave face once you two met eyes.

You figured this meant Amelia wasn’t planning on talking to you anytime soon. Good. As for the rest of the group, it didn’t matter to you either way. Although, it was still surprising to see Janet here by herself - she must’ve been sent by Amelia.

As you approached, Janet gave you a sheepish wave. You couldn't help the familial smile you gave her - she was a much easier person to get along with than most others in your circle.

“How long before Amelia talks to me this time?” You jested with a mean quality to your voice.

Janet didn’t appear to be amused by it, though, as she responded, “She’ll hold out forever if she feels like it.”

You huffed out a laugh while opening your locker, “Good point. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.”

You two were silent for a few long moments as Janet nibbled at her thumb nail and you moved belongings between your bag and your locker.

“What’s going on with you this week?” She finally asked, out of curiosity, rather than with judgment. Nonetheless, you shot her a look, to which she quickly waved her hands as if to calm down whatever bitchiness was about to stir up in you, “No no, I’m not trying to be mean. It’s just… you’ve been weird since school started.”

So, Janet noticed. You wondered if anyone else had. Maybe they’d all been ignoring it, but now that Eddie was in the mix they couldn’t keep that up anymore.

You shrugged as the pair of you began the trek through the halls to your respective classes, your answer noncommittal, “‘Weird,’ huh?”

Janet watched you as if she was waiting for you to elaborate, before sighing and asking, “Is there something going on? Like, something you need to talk about?”

You laughed without thinking, a mean and dismissive sound even to your own ears, “Yeah right.”

Hurt flashed across Janet’s face, her tone clearly different than it was a moment before, “Geez, sorry I asked.”

“Just stop worrying about it, alright?” You insisted with harshness, your eyes cold as you looked over at her.

With a resigned expression, Janet dropped her head and sighed, muttering as she walked away, “Yeah, whatever…”

It briefly struck you that maybe you didn’t have to be so bitchy all the time. But, then again, you didn’t really know how to be anything else.

Your day went on as usual from that point. You discussed a boring book in first period, you wasted time in second period, and once third period rolled around, a vague excitement struck you as you remembered that that was the one class you shared with Eddie. You should not have been excited at that thought, not in the slightest, and yet it added something interesting to your otherwise stupid and monotonous day.

When you entered the classroom, Eddie was already there, sitting at his usual desk in the back corner, looking bored despite class not even starting yet, drumming his pencil absently on his desk. As you approached and he spotted you out of the corner of his eye, he sat up a little in his seat, a nearly cute smile crossing his lips. Once you reached his side, the kid next to Eddie glanced up at you curiously, to which you made a face; meanwhile, Eddie just appeared surprised that you were the one to initiate conversation.

“Didn’t see you this morning.” You started simply, crossing your arms in front of you.

“I was late.” He shrugged lazily before giving you a conspiratory look, “What, were you waiting for me?”

You narrowed your eyes a little at his teasing, responding in a flat tone, “Oh, I was absolutely heartbroken.”

“Figured.” Eddie grinned widely, to which you responded with a subtle smile.

You turned away and went to your desk in the second row, surrounded by other students who were part of your usual circle of acquaintances. While waiting for class to start, you looked around the room, your gaze unintentionally drifting back towards Eddie. You studied him for a few moments before a decisive look graced your features and you abruptly stood back up. The movement caused a couple of people to glance your way, but otherwise no one cared.

You walked to the back of the room, turning your attention on the boy sitting next to Eddie, who awkwardly looked between you and his desk as if he were nervous under your gaze, as if he feared looking you in the eye.

“Move.” You say harshly. He looks at you in surprise and confusion, to which you raise a curved brow as if challenging him to defy you, “Move.”

You didn’t have to repeat yourself again. With a surprised scoff, he collected his things and migrated to the next available seat, which was sure to throw off the entire seating arrangement of the class for the day. As you plopped down at the desk next to Eddie’s, he laughed halfheartedly, his expression just as surprised as the other boy’s.

“Jesus, you are mean.” He states, although his eyes seem to show at least a hint of appreciation. You shrug, pulling your notebook and pencil from your bag.

“Well, I wanted to sit here.”

“Ever heard of the word ‘please?’” Eddie teased, shaking his head at you. You gave him a look out of the corner of your eye, refraining from talking back.

As the bell rang and the stragglers migrated in, people began to notice your change of seat. Some people looked at you strangely, others with disapproval, and the rest just didn't seem to notice or care at all. Hell, even your teacher had to pause and search for you during attendance, realizing you weren’t at your usual desk. Her vague hum of disapproval was enough to get a few students to shoot glances your way. As if in response, Eddie stretched his leg across the aisle to rest his foot on the metal basket beneath your seat.

Math class came and went, and as you walked out of the room, Eddie followed right alongside. As you led the way to your next class, Eddie playfully bumped your shoulder with his, which was starting to become a common thing between you two already, a quick way for him to break the rules you laid out for him.

You glanced up at him with a raised brow, “Yes?”

Eddie shrugged, looking falsely nonchalantly, causing you to narrow your eyes in confusion and perhaps mild annoyance. The playfulness wasn’t something you were accustomed to, nor did you think you ever would.

“You gonna sit with us at lunch?” He asked, to which you pulled a face, causing him to laugh without amusement, “I take it that’s a ‘no.’”

“I didn’t exactly factor your friends into this plan.”

Eddie looked nearly amused, but also perhaps a touch critical, “What did you factor in?”

You made a face, but he continued to simply look down at you with a slight grin. You sighed in response, chewing the inside of your cheek with thought.

“I guess we need to come up with some more rules.”

“Do I get to make some this time?” Eddie joked.

You rolled your eyes smally, “I’ll allow it.”

“Then I guess it’s a date.” You paused momentarily to look up at him with narrowed eyes.

“You still have to actually ask me out, that doesn’t count,” The pair of you reach your biology classroom, so you pause outside the door. “I’m expecting those flowers and balloons, you know.”

“I’m sure you are.” Eddie mocked, that damned grin still across his lips.

Students brushed past you to enter the classroom, and you briefly wondered if Duncan - who you shared this class with - was already here, if he had noticed the two of you. But you didn’t dare to look into the classroom, because just your luck he’d figure you were looking for him. But as that thought crossed your mind, you took a small step closer into Eddie’s personal space, putting on your best look of interest as you stared up at him. Eddie first appeared flustered and confused, but he quickly brushed it off as he seemed to slowly realize what you were doing.

“You’re not half bad at this, you know,” Eddie teased, his eyes shining as he said in a slightly lower voice, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost believe you liked me.”

Despite yourself, your cheeks warmed a little, but you hoped that it wasn’t obvious. Or maybe you did want it to be obvious. There was just something about Eddie’s tone that threw you off your rhythm, and you mentally kicked yourself for it.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” The flirty expression on your face juxtaposed your flat tone, and Eddie’s face looked almost wicked in response.

“No, that’s supposed to be your job.”

You had to pull your eyes away from Eddie’s - you had absolutely no interest in him, but this performative flirting was starting to mess with you a little. That’s something you’d have to work on as well, because you didn’t need this plan to confuse you one bit.

You didn’t realize how long the two of you had been standing in the hallway, as the ring of the fourth period bell nearly startled you. You found Eddie’s eyes again, giving him as cute a smile as you could muster.

“Go before you land yourself in detention.” You instructed; Eddie grinned widely while shaking his head.

“I practically run detention.” He, again, brushed his fingers along the small of your back as he moved past you, holding your eyes as you watched him go, “I’ll catch you later.”

You gave a small wave before dipping into the classroom, eyes roaming over everyone as you walked to your seat. You caught Duncan looking at you knowingly.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

By Friday afternoon, Amelia was over your spat earlier in the week, insisting that you sit with them at lunch, to which you begrudgingly agreed after she kept pestering you. Well, maybe she wasn’t entirely over it - her snide little comments throughout the week made that abundantly clear. But, just as most teenagers do, she chose to pretend it didn’t happen and go on with life as usual. She ignored the little glances Eddie would shoot you in the hall, the little knowing looks you two shared, and you didn’t mention your new seat next to him in math class.

After classes ended for the day, you were amongst a group of students lingering in the parking lot, everyone discussing that night’s football game and other upcoming plans for the weekend. You actually managed to hold a half-decent conversation with a couple of the cheerleaders and a boy you once upon a time had a crush on back in freshman year; that never went beyond making out drunkenly a couple times at parties. Nearby, Duncan entertained a group with some story that probably wasn’t as interesting as everyone acted; he hadn’t acknowledged you this entire time, and had made it a point of ignoring you since Wednesday.

The group seemed to be in agreement that they’d all go out after the football game, and of course it was presumed that meant everyone, including you. You avoided saying anything on the subject so you wouldn’t be held accountable for it later.

At some point in your conversation, your former crush made a puzzled face at something past your shoulder. You mirrored his expression curiously, looking behind you to see what caught his attention.

Eddie was approaching the group. You had to give him credit, it was ballsy to come up to a dozen popular kids as the guy who was almost universally hated in this school. In that moment, you appreciated Eddie’s confidence and lack of fear.

You decided you’d rather spare yourself the headache of everyone ganging up on Eddie, so stealing a glance at the group, you slid off the hood of the car you sat on, walking away from them without another word. As you met him halfway, Eddie gave you a devilish grin, his eyes drifting from you to the crowd of kids just beyond your shoulder. You raised your brow challengingly at him, but managed a small half-smile at his presence.

You briefly wondered what they were all thinking, what they were all saying. You hoped it was nothing good at all.

“They sure look happy to see me.” Eddie commented, casually sliding his hands in his pockets with a lazy grin once you two came together.

Just like you’ve been working on, you stood closer to Eddie than you would have liked, giving a performance even as your back was turned to all of your friends and acquaintances. You needed to be convincing at all times, so you tried to think about all the little details that would suggest you were interested in Eddie, even if no one could see your face - leaning in as you spoke, twiddling your fingers, etc.

“So, are you asking me out now?” You tilted your head to one side as you asked in a matter-of-fact tone.

A small huff escaped Eddie’s nose, “You’re a real romantic, you know that, princess?”

“Aren’t I just?” You taunted, eyes narrowing.

Keeping his face cool, Eddie leaned forward so you were nearly eye level with one another, a smirk still resting on his lips as he responded in a prodding tone, “I’m going to ask you out now. If that’s alright with you, of course.”

You made a face at his mocking tone, but nodded nonetheless, staring at him impatiently. Eddie put on an extra charming smile for the audience inevitably watching your interaction as he stood back to his full height.

“Then in that case,” He paused to eye you up and down with an expression you’d never seen on his face before - if you didn’t know any better, you would’ve bought it, and you nearly flushed at that thought. Eddie projected his voice, not so loud that it was obvious, but just enough that some of your friends were certain to hear him, “So, what do you say? Let me take you out tonight, anywhere you want.”

“Tonight?” You asked with actual surprise while Eddie smiled at you with a charming look on his face.

“Unless you have something better going on.” Eddie taunted while stealing a glance at the group behind you, his expression growing almost too cocky considering that you both knew that you couldn’t say “no.”

You were certain the group was watching your conversation unabashedly, if Eddie’s attentive eyes were anything to go on. You traced your tongue along your lower lip as you drew out the moment just as Eddie had done to you before. When it seemed that you were taking too long, his gaze flicked back down to you.

“I really hope you don’t have something better going on.” He added as if he were getting nervous, as if this was real and the feeling of rejection was creeping up on him. You raised your brows tauntingly, your expression a little mean, and Eddie realized you did this on purpose. He just had to refrain from letting his impatience show on his face.

You finally show him mercy, adding a flirty smile despite the fact that your friends still couldn’t see your face, “Anywhere I want, huh?”

You could practically feel the impatient exhale that escaped Eddie, his eyes showing the slightest bit of annoyance at you. But he kept that charming grin in place.

“Anywhere.”

“Then it’s a date.” Your tone is a little brighter as you try to convey excitement.

You turn back in the direction of the group so that you could walk to your car, Eddie coming up alongside you. Your stride is confident despite all eyes on you, and you can see some of them whispering to one another. As you breeze past with Eddie beside you, you see Duncan shaking his head in disbelief, while another friend makes a harsh comment about Eddie.

“Pick me up at 7,” You start to instruct, letting your cool eyes look over the crowd of popular kids, “figure out if any good movies are showing, I’m craving popcorn.”

Once you two reach your car, you lean your rear back against the driver door while looking up at Eddie who now had his back to the group. You almost enjoyed the reversal, as you were able to catch every small glance sent your way by Amelia, Janet, and everyone else; now you could see just how harshly everyone had been staring at you before.

You whispered, forcing Eddie to stand a little closer, “We’re not actually going out tonight, I have something going on.”

“Damn,” Eddie teased with a false grin, “you got my hopes up.”

“But we do need to make plans soon,” You continue, ignoring his sarcasm, “We have to figure out how this is going to work.”

“And it’d be nice if your fake boyfriend actually knew anything about you.” Eddie added, to which you made a face despite knowing he had a point. A curious look crossed his face, as if what you said about having plans just a moment ago was finally setting in, “So… what do you have going on tonight?”

“Not telling.” You answer simply as you give him a wicked grin. Your eyes trail back to the group of your former friends for a split second, and in an impulsive act of defiance, you lean up to kiss Eddie on the cheek, his barely-there stubble tickling your lips. You pulled back with a flirty look, desperately fighting the impulse to make a face at the physical contact that you just initiated, “We’ll talk next week, Munson.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #stranger things #em #dos and donts

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d-targaryenshoe · 4 months

Text

Frozen Pain - Jackson Avery

Word count: 1600

Summary: Love that's real, doesn't know a distance, does it?

You're holding a cup of coffee, comfortable in the luxurious beige couch in your penthouse apartment in New York. You held a letter in your hand, visibly upset.

Hey y/n

I hope this letter finds you very fast. It has been quite some time since we last saw each other at the hospital, or even had a good talk.

And I wanted to let you know that everyone misses you so bad. The hospital just isn't the same without you, or our after-shift drinks at Joe's.

There have been changes since you left. So stay calm when reading this. But Jackson and Maggie are dating now. It came as a surprise to all of us, and it may seem evil but I miss seeing you happy with him.

I thought you should know since you were...you know what I mean.

I know it's been a while since we last spoke, but I hope you'll find the time to write back when you receive this letter.

Take care, I hope to hear from you soon.

Amelia

"I can't believe this... Jackson and Maggie?" You muttered to yourself placing your cup of coffee on the table and folding the letter closed.

Images of you and Jackson together, happy and in love, flash across the screen. The memories of your past relationship flood your mind.

You take a deep breath, trying to compose yourself. You pick up your phone and dial Amelia's number. After a few rings, she answers.

"You have no idea how much I waited to hear you." Amelia sounded emotional about the fact she noticed you calling for the first time after you had left. "Y/n?"

"Amelia, why didn't you tell me about them when I was still there?" Your voice trembled even if you didn't want it to. "I should've known, you know I should've."

" I didn't know how to break it to you. I thought it would be better if you heard it from me." Amelia spoke, sounding apologetic.

"Well, thanks for that. I can't believe he moved on so quickly." You sighed, leaning back into the couch, staring out of your window. "Maybe I left at the right time."

"I know it hurts, but y/n, you decided to leave Seattle. You had to follow your dreams, remember?" Amelia reminded you.

You sighed deeply, nodding your head even if she couldn't see. " I know, but it doesn't make it any easier. I thought what we had was special."

"It was special, and it still is. But sometimes life takes unexpected turns. You deserve happiness too, you know that." She answered on the other side.

" I just wish I didn't have to find out this way." You muttered, wiping away the tears that fell from your teary eyes.

"I understand. But remember, I'm here for you, no matter what." The Shepherd sister spoke. "Just remember, you're strong and capable of creating your happiness."

"I will try to remember that." You hang up the phone and take a moment to collect yourself. Despite the pain, you know deep down that you made the right decision by pursuing your career in New York.

You open your laptop that's on the coffee table and check your emails. You notice a mail from Jo with the subject 'Don't hate me'. You click on the email and start reading.

From: Jo Wilson

Subject: Don't hate me

Hey y/n,

I hope you're all settled and doing great. I wanted to let you know something that happened yesterday.

I bumped into Jackson and Maggie in the parking lot, and it seemed like they were arguing, or breaking up, or anything else that wasn't any good. And yes, sometimes I'm too nosy.

I know your history with Jackson, so I thought I should let you know.

But here's the thing... I accidentally I repeat, accidentally, let it slip that you live in New York.

I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to reveal any of it! Not without your permission. I just wanted to give you a heads-up that there's a big chance he's on his way to you.

You quickly close the laptop, unsure of what to do next.

You grab your cup of coffee and walk over to the sink. You place the cup in the sink and turn on the faucet, letting the warm water flow.

"Might as well do something productive to distract me." You whispered to yourself, looking at the dishes.

You proceed to wash the glasses, rinsing off any soap residue before placing them on a drying rack.

Suddenly you hear a knock on the door. You cautiously make your way to the door and open it, revealing the last person you'd expect standing on the other side.

Not thinking for another second you tried to shut the door.

"Even three seconds is enough...I just need to know that you're okay." He said, placing a hand on the door, making sure you didn't close it. "Wilson told me you took the offer in New York. I just- I had to see it for myself."

"Well, as you can see. I'm in New York not in Seattle." You shrugged at the man you once fell for or still had, but you couldn't show. "Maggie knows you're here?"

"Who told you that..." He furrowed his eyebrows, taking his hand off the door.

"Amelia wrote me, Jackson. I know you've moved on, so I think it's best if you do as well." You gave him a small smile, trying to close the door once again.

"You've been avoiding my calls and messages. Can we at least talk?" Jackson asked, his eyes staring back at yours.

" I guess we can talk, but I'm not sure what there is left to say." You sighed, opening the door wider for him to walk inside. "What do you want to know?"

You closed the door, sitting down on your couch.

"I just want to understand why you left so suddenly without talking to me. I thought we had something special." He folded his hands on top of his knees, looking at you.

You shook your head in denial, staring at the ceiling, feeling the tears pricking in your eyes. "Jackson, it's not that simple. Andrew died, Alex left, Meredith was going to leave, and I needed some time to process everyone leaving me."

"But why didn't you talk to me? We've always been open and honest with each other." Jackson turned his body towards you, leaning an arm on the couch headrest.

" I know, and I'm sorry. I should have talked to you, but I was terrified. Scared of losing you, scared of facing my own emotions." You answered, placing your face in your hands.

"I broke things off with Maggie, she...she doesn't feel as home as you do. We've been through hell and back, we can do it again." He said.

"Jackson, it's not that simple. We both have our baggage and unresolved issues. We can't just start from where everything ended?" You got up from the couch, walking over to the huge window, staring down at the busy city.

"I believe in us. I believe that we can work through our problems together." He spoke as you felt him standing behind you.

"I need time to figure things out. I need to understand my feelings and what I want. It's not fair to either of us to rush into anything." You replied, turning around, your heart quickening as you stared back into his bright eyes.

As Jackson stood in front of you, his eyes filled with determination, you felt your resolve waver.

"I'd do anything if I have to, only to make things work out between us," he said earnestly.

You let out a heavy sigh, "Jackson, you know it's not that simple. You've just left Maggie behind."

"I know, I know," he said, running a hand over his head. "But I've let go of things in the past that I regret now, but y/n, you? You're, you're something I could never regret, ever."

You turned back around, fighting back the emotions swirling inside of you. "I don't know if I can do this again." You whispered.

"Just...just give me a chance to show you." he pleaded, taking a step closer to you.

The memories flooded back, the laughs, the tears, the late-night conversations. Despite your best efforts, you felt a small smile tug at the corners of your lips.

You looked up at him, and he smiled back, a hopeful glint in his eyes, and the city lights twinkled outside the floor-to-ceiling windows of your penthouse.

He leaned in, and your heart skipped a beat as his lips met yours. The kiss was intense, filled with both longing and regret.

"What are we doing?" you whispered, breaking away.

"Right now? I don't know," he confessed. "But I miss this and I miss us."

The ache in his words mirrored your own emotions, but you knew it was dangerous to reopen old wounds. "We can't keep doing this to ourselves," you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

"I know, but I can't walk away." Jackson pleaded, his eyes searching yours.

A surge of conflicting emotions coursed through you, and you let out a frustrated moan. "And you think, I can?" you admitted, feeling the weight of those words hanging in the air.

He pulled you close, and a bittersweet laughter filled the room. "Then let's try," he said, his voice determined.

As you looked into his eyes, the city hummed in the background, and you knew this decision would change everything.

#greys anatomy imagine #greys anatomy imagines #greys anatomy x reader #request open #jackson avery imagine #jackson avery imagines #jackson avery x reader #greys #jesse x reader #jesse williams x reader #jesse williams imagine #jesse williams imagines #jesse williams #greys x reader #greys anatomy #jackson avery

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torturedpoetemotions · 8 months

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People miss the point about Dean's interaction with Marta the post office lady in 14x13 so hard and it's FRUSTRATING.

No, it's not a reversal of the running gag about older women finding Sam attractive (which is gross anyway because it usually involves playing his obvious discomfort at being touched without consent for laughs). It is also not just Dean trading on his looks and flirting to get what he wants.

The point is to illustrate a significant difference between the brothers!

Specifically how they interact with the community of Lebanon, and what that says about their characters.

At this point in the show, Sam and Dean have now lived in Lebanon for like, six and a half years. And yet Sam approaches this woman like he would approach any stranger or witness in any random town in the country. And she reacts to him like any witness would to a strange man asking questions--with caution and some level of suspicion. It is incredibly clear that they don't know each other at all, despite how long they've been living in the same community.

But Dean knows her! And not just by sight and in passing. He's on a first name basis with her! He asks about her grandson and she readily answers! She knows his first name, too! They very clearly have an established report and have talked many times, enough times for her to have complained to him about her "spoiled little jerk" of a grandson!

This scene establishes that Dean is a known entity to at least some of the people of Lebanon. A known and LIKED entity. Trusted, even! He has truly put down roots there in a way that Sam has not, despite them living there for the same amount of time. He's bonded with people he sees regularly. He has little interactions with them offscreen all the time. That tells us something about Dean as a character!

And if it's a reversal or play off of anything, it's 1x11 (Scarecrow) when Dean fails to convince a couple who is in danger to let him fix their car so they can leave town sooner. Dean assumes (incorrectly IMO) that it's because HE specifically comes off to "normal people" as abnormal and dangerous, whereas Sam would be able to convince them with just a sincere look. In reality, of course, it probably has more to do with Dean being a total stranger, with no obvious credentials for car-fixing other than his word, in an unfamiliar place, than it does any inherent quality of Dean himself.

Because the key is, Dean isn't putting in any special effort in either scene. The way he approaches the couple is a contrast to how he usually handles cases. There's no costume, no subterfuge, and no alias. He isn't trying to fool either the couple in 1x11 or Marta in 14x13 into liking and trusting him. He's just being himself and telling the truth in both scenes (maybe not ALL the truth, but the essential basics). It works on Marta because she already knows and likes him. It doesn't work on the couple because he's a stranger to them.

So in 14x13 (and at other times in the show too) we see that Sam is not any better with people than Dean, especially when he makes no effort. He in fact gives off somewhat alarming vibes to strangers when he doesn't present with some kind of subterfuge that engenders immediate trust (i.e. being an FBI or insurance agent). (Think of Amelia's initial reaction to him in season 8 for example.) And this is true even for people who have almost certainly seen him around before, in the town he's lived in for over half a decade.

And the fact that he has made no effort to get to know his neighbors is telling in itself. Sam isn't any more automatically trustworthy to regular people than Dean unless he puts in specific effort to be. Costumes and aliases, fake credentials, even that specific face and voice he uses to talk to witnesses are all effort he has to put in. And that effort is not something that comes naturally to him or occurs to him outside of the context of a case. (I think we also see in season 6 exactly how much conscious effort those things require of him, given that without a soul he not only lacks personability but is downright impatient with and insulting to people.)

It's actually Dean who's good at building bonds, establishing casual report, and eliciting trust from people. And moreover, it's Dean who thinks to make the effort to do so. Sam is better at leading hunters specifically, but that's a whole different story and meta.

#supernatural #spn meta #spn 14x13 #spn 1x11 #dean winchester #dean studies #winchester brothers #sam studies #lebanon #my meta

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readychilledwine · 5 months

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Kissed by Fire pt 1

Summary - Amelia Archeron, the oldest of the made sisters, sacrificed more than her sisters would ever understand, and more than she would ever allow them to know. Now, they want her to sacrifice her one chance at happiness, too.

Warnings - rhysand is kind of a dick, signs of depression and PTSD, trauma, implied EDs, kind of poisoning

An - and we begin 💜

Part 2

Rhysand tapped his fingers on the desk next to Amelia, his eyes narrowed as the oldest sister stared out the window.

She had been the last to wake up. She was withdrawn from them, constantly sat in the cushioned window ledge and wiping tears from her face.

He had expected more from Amelia. She was supposed to be a rock, a strong influence, yet here she was, mind lost in her grief, in her confusion, her longing for their father. “You need to get up,” he commanded. “You need to stand on your feet and be strong for your sisters. They need you.”

Amelia sighed deeply, that familiar weight of being the oldest pressing down on her shoulders once again.

It felt like carrying the weight of the world. It felt like being forced to sacrifice her own health and happiness for her sisters again.

It reminded her of nights spent in a brothel laid beneath some man she had no interest in for a small amount of coin. It reminded her of hiding the coins with Feyre's earnings so no one would ask questions or ask if she was okay.

“If my adult sisters are making the choice to hide in a room and refuse to eat, how exactly would me going and demanding that of them make a difference?”

Rhysand rolled his eyes, scoffing at the question. “You never cared for them while you all were starving in that cabin,” Amelia flinched at the accusation. “The least you could do is pretend to care now.” She looked away from him as the first night spent in the whorehouse, handing her virginity away to a complete stranger twice her age came forward.

She didn't see Rhysand's face fall, his eyes becoming sympathy as you stood. “Right. I forgot about Feyre's pretty story of how she kept our family afloat.” The true sentence should have been, “I forgot she didn't know,” yet Amelia stuck to her self defense. “I will try. Do not expect me to join you, though.”

Nesta, Elain, and Amelia ate in silence in Amelia's room. If you could call what the three of them did eating.

Nesta pushed the food around. Elain stared out the window. Amelia sat there, shivering despite being the closest to the fire and in heavy wool socks and a sweater provided by the House.

She could feel a chill deep inside of her. Like the Cauldron had left a reminder deep inside of her of what happened. “Have you two been cold since-” she couldnt even finish the sentence, but she didn't need to.

Elain shook her head softly. “No, just. Lost.”

Nesta also shook her head before smiling sadly. “Have you tried to bathe yet?” Amelia paled at the idea. She had several times. Hoping the hot water would melt the ice settling in her veins and bones. “I had the same reaction,” Nesta sad softly.

Elain also nodded, tears streaming down her face, “It's like bathing takes me right back there. I cam feel it burning my skin all over again from how cold it was, I feel myself struggling to breathe, i-” Amelia silenced her younger sister with a hand on hers.

“Don't, little tulip. Don't talk about it unless you're ready to.” Elain leaned into her, closing her eyes as Amelia ran her fingers through her soft hair. “I'm sorry I can't fix this.”

Nesta smiled for the first time in a week. “You aren't a miracle worker, Lia. We don't expect you to fix it.”

Amelia's dreams that night had her transporting to a cabin. It was warm with a soft fire crackling in the background as she looked around. She could hear the voices of two males in another room. One was deep and smooth, although somewhat sarcastic as he spoke to a deep familiar voice. Shadows trailed through Amelia's fingers and the voices stopped. A door opening and footsteps coming towards her.

Amelia shot awake, her eyes adjusting to the darkness to a figure sitting on her bed. Rhysand had his hands holding his nose, his eyes glazed over slightly. “Do you know where you just were?” She shook her head, take a few deep breaths and then the tea he offered her. “I need you to drink that. You followed Azriel on a mission. In your sleep.”

He looked up sighing heavily. “You didn't fully transport your body there. Just your soul and mind. I need you to drink that so you don't do it again.”

Amelia sniffed it, eyes watering at how bitter it smelled. “What is it?”

Rhys looked at her, eyes cold as he distanced himself from what he was asking her to do. “It's faebane. It'll put whatever the fuck the Cauldron did to you to sleep.”

Rhys laid Amelia down, having watched her finish the cup and fall into a drug induced sleep. He sensed Azriel landing at the house and waited.

The Spymaster pushed Amelia's balcony doors open, looking between her and Rhysand. “How? That cabin is heavily warded to protect-”

Rhys held a hand up. “Amren is looking into it. Until we have an answer, we keep her on a low dose faebane to keep her powers locked down and quiet.”

Azriel looked at him, slightly shocked. “So poison her instead of helping her control it? Rhys, we know better than this. Her powers will eat her alive.”

“We will figure it out before than, Azriel.” Rhys looked at Amelia, watching as she shivered. “Did he have any ideas for helping her stay warm?”

Azriel nodded, pulling out a heavy sweater in a cream and another in burgundy, and then a soft fluffy pumpkin colored blanket. They reeked of cinnamon and apples, the fabric was unnaturally warm after having been enchanted. “He says we owe him.”

Rhys rolled his eyes. “Of course we do. The snake doesn't do a single thing unless it benefits him.” he took the blanket, thanking Azriel softly before tucking Amelia in and listening as she released a soft content sigh. She snuggled deeply into her new blanket, shivering stopping almost immediately. “Did he say what he wants?” Rhys moved her hair out of her face. Guilt eating him alive as he saw how peaceful she looked in this forced state.

“He'll call us when he's ready.”

Taglist : @justdreamstars @coralseacourt @kemillyfreitas @impossibelle

#acotar #eris x oc #eris fic #eris acotar #eris acosf #pro eris vanserra #eris x archeron!oc #eris vanserra fic #eris vanserra x oc #eris vanserra x archeron!oc

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foreveraweirdoneslife · 28 days

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A couple of thoughts after re-watching TGM

What I think is actually canon

Amelia is Mav’s daughter (Penny hints at that when she’s talking to Mav about her) but Amelia doesn't know

Mav considers himself to be Bradley’s dad (Mav answers when Bradley asks his dad what to do)

Bradley considers both Goose and Mav to be his dad (after Mav says that Bradley saved his life, Bradley says that his dad would've done the same - considering the fact that Mav has already saved Bradley's life you could see that as Bradley seeing Mav as his dad, too)

Bradley has lived with Mav for a considerable period of time (Mav says to Penny he tried his best to be a father for Bradley)

Thoughts concerning TG3 / Predictions

I think they gonna set up Phoenix as Bradley's love interest because they seem very close in the movie (but for me they’re more like besties)

I hope they gonna keep the character's of Warlock and Cyclone (with Cyclone basically hating Mav and Warlock secretly supporting the shit Mav does all the time) and also they need to keep at least Warlock because somebody needs to prevent that Mav is thrown out of the Navy

I hope there still will be references to Ice (I just love him and he needs to be mentioned)

Other thoughts

I actually paid attention to the hangster dynamics for the first time

Jake’s and Bradley’s first hook up is right after dogfight football

Bradley is Ice-coded while Jake is Mav-coded

I ship bobnix now (I think Nat and Bob are very sweet together in the movie - need to find some fluffy fics about them)

The lifelong friendship between Ice and Mav just kills me (solely sticking to the movie here because otherwise icemav is endgame imo), like Ice basically knows everything about Mav (every shit he has done at work, everything around him pulling Bradley's papers, private problems he’s had etc.) and also the other way round (Mav supporting him during his battle with cancer and a whole lot of other things which we don't know because sadly Ice is only a minor character in both movies)

I love that Mav refers to Ice in the whole movie only by his nickname

I had to keep myself very hard from crying during the funeral scene (if I had watched it alone, I probably would’ve cried)

#top gun #top gun maverick #pete maverick mitchell #icemav #tom iceman kazansky #bradley rooster bradshaw #natasha phoenix trace #rooster #phoenix #robert bob floyd #bob #iceman #maverick #heacanon #hangster #jake hangman seresin #hangman #top gun maverick re-watch

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yeonjunsbxtch · 1 year

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I Feel Everything - Kang Taehyun

Summary: You loved Taehyun, but sometimes he was just a bit too cold. He wasn’t good at showing his emotions, which often left you wondering what was going through his head. Until one day, you snapped when he was late to your anniversary dinner. And he didn’t seem to care all too much. So you decided it was time to call it quits. Little did you know that was enough to trigger some emotion out of him.

Genre: angst, smut, slight fluff

Warnings: yelling, cold!taehyun, laughing during an argument, unprotected sex, marking, dom!taehyun, possessiveness, pet names, degradation, dirty talk, arguing, swearing, insults, angry!taehyun, choking, toxic, edging, cunnilingus, praise, Taehyun calls reader a bitch, reader is wearing a dress, insinuates reader is inexperienced, overstimulation.

Pairing: Taehyun x fem!reader

Word count: 4k+

Song Inspo: I Feel Everything - Amelia Moore, Die For You - The Weeknd

Reminder: This fic does not reflect Taehyun as a person. This is fiction.

"How could you do this to me?! Do you not realize how stupid I looked?!" Your lungs exploded as you busted through Taehyun's front door with Taehyun dragging his feet behind you. You were disappointed when your attempt to slam the door on his face failed.

"Can you not be so loud? I have neighbors." Taehyun said flatly as he gently closed the door behind him.

"Why?! You don't want people hearing how much of a shitty boyfriend you are?!" Your voice even louder now, purposely trying to get anyone you could to hear you. You walked further into the house, running your fingers through your hair in frustration.

"Y/N.."

"What!?"

"You need to take your shoes off."

Of course that is all he cares about. You glared at him, thinking for a moment he was finally going to show empathy.

You sent the shoes on your feet flying across the room, earning an eye roll from the asshole behind you.

"Are you happy now?!"

"Can you calm down?"

"No! Why don't you care about me Taehyun?!" You screamed at the pink haired boy now in front of you. Tears were streaming down your face as Taehyun stood still, not batting an eye. His blank stare burned through you.

"I do."

You wanted to rip your hair out with how monotoned he was.

No matter the argument, Taehyun never seemed.. bothered. He never expressed his emotions to you, which left you constantly wondering what he was thinking. Not even during the most intense arguments would he open up. At first, you thought he just needed to get more comfortable. But now after a year of dating, he remains the same. And you've about had enough.

"No! No you don't Taehyun! We had plans for our one year tonight and you don't even care that you were late! I've been trying to express to you how hurt I am and you don't even care! You're so emotionless while I'm left to feel everything!"

Your blood started to run hot as you saw a smirk form on Taehyun's face. Taehyun sneered at you, letting out a sardonic chuckle. You knew he never took you seriously. But you never knew the extent of it, until now.

"Are you laughing at me?" Your voice now quiet.

"Yeah I am. This is ridiculous y/n! I told you I had practice later than expected and you can't take that as an answer."

And even still, everything you said went over Taehyun's head. It wasn't that you couldn't take it as an answer. It was because you've taken it as an answer too many times.

"You always say that Taehyun. And I accept it every single time even though it hurts me. But what hurts me the most is how nonchalant you are about it! You don't even care that you had practice late! You don't even care that I was waiting at the restaurant by myself looking stupid for an hour! I even went out of my way to buy a brand new dress just for tonight and you don't fucking care! If you cared, I wouldn't always have to beg you to tell me how you're feeling or get any sort of comfort out of you!"

"Then why are you still with me?"

And that was when your heart shattered. You looked at him for a moment, trying to find any remorse in his empty expression. All you wanted was for him to comfort you. All you wanted was for him to finally open up to you. But there was no attempt to fight for you. And you knew there was no hope in trying to hold on.

"I don't know." Was all you could say. It felt like your chest was ripping open. You had given the man in front of you your all. All of your love had been poured into him while you got nothing in return. "I shouldn't have to beg to be loved Taehyun."

Taehyun continued to stare at you. You still could not read him. And you knew you were never going to be able to. So it was time you admitted defeat. Without saying another word, you turned around and headed upstairs.

You went straight to Taehyun's bedroom to start packing the things you had left at his place. Only now, you felt they were just a big waste of space.

You started going around the room, gathering your things one by one and throwing them into a duffle bag. You didn't care about knocking things over. You didn't care about making a mess. You just wanted to get out of there as soon as you could.

You made your way over to 'your' side of the bed, where various items of yours had made a home for themselves on the nigthstand. You swept everything into the bag at once with your arm, dropping a few things here and there. You wiped tears from your face as you kneeled down, frantically trying to pick everything up. You filled your lungs with as much air as you could, trying your hardest not to burst into tears again.

Suddenly, you heard the door crack open. You knew who it was and it took every ounce of your strength to ignore him. Your shaking hands continued to attempt to pick up everything that had fallen.

"Y/N, what are you doing?"

Your stomach turned, creating a nauseating feeling within you. You kept your head down, trying to not look at him.

"I'm packing. What does it look like I'm doing you fucking robot."

"Y/N, Stop packing.. please."

The sound of panic was pronounced in his voice causing you to come to a halt. Your eyes stayed glued to your bag, refusing to look at him despite his unfamiliar tone.

"Why should I stop? You're the one who suggested I leave you. So that's what I'm doing."

"Just... stop... please Y/N."

You finally looked at him. There he was standing by the door, hands wrapped around the back of his neck as he watched you anxiously. His eyes were wide and full of panic. You couldn't help but feel a little guilty in that moment, seeing him like you've never seen him before.

You had to admit, you felt bad for him. You never meant to make him react like this. But on the other hand, you were angry. Angry that it took you leaving him to make him show any emotion at all. And that anger within you was just a little bit stronger.

You looked back down at the bag in your hand. It took everything you had to put the last of your things in the bag. Standing up, you tried your best to avoid eye contact with Taehyun who had already closed the door, now standing guard of it.

"Please move Taehyun."

"No."

Your heart was beating fast. There he was, attempting to fight for you in some way, shape or form. But you knew settling for this wouldn't be good for either of you.

"Taehyun, I'm leaving. You need to move and let me through."

Taehyun kept his eyes locked on you as he hesitantly took a step to the side. 'Well that didn't last long.' You felt conflicted in this moment. You told him to move but why did your heart sink when he actually moved?

As you were about to reach for the knob, you felt your bag being pulled out of your grasp.

"What the fuck are yo-"

Before you could finish your sentence, you were shoved up against the door, both of your hands being pinned on either side of you. You struggled to get out of Taehyun's grip until your eyes inevitably met his. He stared down at you with a dark and narrow gaze. His jaw was clenched, face red with anger. Also an emotion you've never seen from him. You began to sweat, experiencing a side of him you've never seen before.

"Taehyun.. please.. let me go." You managed to breath out.

Taehyun inched closer to you. His chest now pressing against yours. He slowly leaned down to meet his lips with your ear as he tightened his grip on your wrists.

"You're not going anywhere."

His hot breath against your ear sent goosebumps throughout your body. You swallowed hard as you shut your eyes for a brief moment, taking in the sweet sensation of his lips softly grazing against your skin.

You twisted your wrists at one more attempt of escaping until you felt his breath flow down your neck. Your knees buckled underneath you and for a moment, you were actually relieved Taehyun had a hold of you. You couldn't believe how weak you were for him. Taehyun roughly connected his wet lips with your neck and it took everything you had not to moan out his name. You held your bottom lip between your teeth as he took his time placing harsh, opened mouthed kisses along the side of your neck. The feeling mixed between pain and pleasure as he ended each kiss with a harsh pull of your skin.

"Taehyun.." His name finally escaping your lips. You breathed out as he continued to savor the taste of your neck.

You squirmed underneath him, the tingling sensation traveling from your neck to your core. The unfamiliar feeling enveloped you as you tried your best to keep your strength. But you knew this was a battle you would not win.

"First you wanted to leave me.." you shivered at the sudden vibration of his voice against you. You felt Taehyun trail his tongue up your neck. He kissed around the shell of your ear before continuing his sentence. "Now you're moaning my name before I've even fucked you."

Taehyun then pulled back to get a good look at you. You gazed up at him with heavy lids, mind now clouded with only him. Everything that had happened leading up to this moment had completely left your mind.

"Now tell me what you really want princess. Do you want to leave.." He slowly dragged his finger up your body, caressing every curve until he got to your neck. He wrapped his hand firmly around your throat, earning a gasp as you briefly lost your breath. "Or do you want to be a good little slut for me?"

You couldn't speak. His manipulation tactics were something you could see right through. But that did not mean they didn't work.

"What's wrong? Hm? Bitch can't speak?" He tightened the grip around your throat just enough for your mouth to open even wider for his admiration. "You sure knew how to use that pretty little mouth earlier."

You felt the hold he had on you. You were hearing the words that were coming out of his mouth. You saw the rage in his eyes. The thought of not knowing what he was going to do to you was enough to make you tremble. And yet, you still felt a sense of security within this new side of him. And you couldn't lie, you loved it.

You were suddenly gasping for air as you felt Taehyun release his grip on you. He took a step back, disconnecting himself from you. Suddenly, you felt empty. A fire ingnited within you, frustrated that Taehyun had riled you up for nothing.

"Why.. Why did you.." You couldn't even finish your sentence. Your body was weak. Your voice raspy.

"Stop? You need to tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me I can ruin you."

All feeling in your legs dissipated. His deep voice echoed through your body, awakening a deep desire you had failed to realize you had before.

"Taehyun.. please.."

The end of Taehyun's lip tugged up, knowing the effect he had on you. He took a step towards you, towering over you as he kept his dark gaze locked on yours. You gazed back up at him with a pleading look in your eyes. The tension growing stronger by the second.

He inched closer, you could feel the warmth of his lips radiating onto yours. Your lips trembled, begging to be kissed by his.

"Please what?" His voice now soft yet still filled with so much desire.

You found your arms wrapping around him. His body felt hot under your touch as his arms stayed by his side, refusing to touch you until he has your permission. Your hand slowly traveled to the nape of his neck, caressing it softly as you saw him flutter his eyes for a moment. You pulled him even closer to you, his lips now brushing against yours.

"Please ruin me."

All hesitation faded from you as you pulled him fully into you, connecting his lips with yours. He wasted no time in returning the kiss, devouring you as he pushed you further against the door. His arm glided down your back, pulling you as close to him as possible. He pulled away for a moment, leaving you breathless as he tugged at your bottom lip.

Taehyun slid his hands down, taking a hold of your ass as he grinded into you. You could feel his erection pressing against you and you wanted nothing more than for it to be inside you. His hands made their way to the back of your thighs, swiftly pulling them around his waist. You wrapped your arms securely around his neck, holding onto him as your tongues swirled together.

It wasn't long until you felt your back hit the mattress. You let out a whine, missing the feel of his lips on yours. Taehyun stood over you, watching as your body squirmed, withdrawing from his touch.

"How bad do you want me to touch you?" He traced small circles along your stomach, teasing you every time he made his way lower.

"Really bad Taehyun.. So bad.."

"Mmm, that's what I like to hear."

He began to play with the hem of your dress, pulling it up to expose your panties. He let out a pleased sigh, seeing the wet spot that had quickly formed on your pretty underwear.

He smirked at the way you instinctively opened your legs the second he touched your skin. He slowly started caressing your bare thighs, his thumbs brushing around the inner lining of your panties. Each stroke of his hands causing you to tremble.

His hands slowly made their way up, grabbing a hold of your underwear and gently pulling them down. He took his time, savoring the way you shivered, feeling the way the cooler air hit your now exposed pussy. He pulled your panties completely off of you, throwing them who knows where. His eyes were only on you and the way your pussy glistened in front of him.

"Shit baby.. look at you." You cooed at the way he called you baby, a nickname you've been craving for a while now. Taehyun watched as your chest heaved up and down, growing impatient at the way he took his time. "You're so fucking wet and we aren't even halfway done. So fucking pathetic."

His voice sounded sweet but his words were like daggers that carved into you in the best way possible.

"Please do something Taehyun.. please"

Yeah, he was right. You did sound pathetic. But there was nothing more you needed than for him to ravish you.

"Be patient my love. Consider this punishment for your behavior before."

Your body shivered as you felt the warmth of his breath slowly approach your core. His lips just inches away from finally giving you the pleasure you craved. He lightly grazed the tip of his tongue up your clit. You sucked in a sharp breath as you bucked your hips, pleading for more. He followed with another lick, this time with more passion. You couldn't help but reach down and tangle your fingers in his soft locks.

He let out a low groan, loving the way you pushed him closer as he sucked on your clit. You glanced down at him, locking eyes with him as he was already watching the way you reacted to his every move.

"Baby you taste so fucking good.."

Moans were flooding out of your mouth, repeating his name over and over again as the sensation became more intense. You were practically suffocating Taehyun at this point with the way you wrapped your legs around his neck. He grabbed onto your thighs, squeezing them as he continued to flatten his tongue along your folds.

With the way you were moving your hips, he could tell you were close. The fire in your core grew as did the tension in your abdomen feeling every vibration of his groans.

"Ahh.. Taehyun.. I'm gonna cum.." Your words came out as whines as you rocked your pussy against his tongue.

You were about to come undone when Taehyun suddenly drew back.

"Ahh! Fuck Taehyun! What the hell!?" You cried out, needing the release more than anything. Taehyun then stood up, leaning over you as tears were falling down your face.

"Don't worry baby, you'll be able to cum soon."

He wiped a few tears off your face before proceeding to unbuckle his belt. He then pulled his pants down along with his boxers, finally freeing his cock. You watched as he swiftly pulled his shirt off, revealing his perfectly toned body.

"Take your clothes off and lay down on the bed. Now." Taehyun demanded. You instantly sat up at his command, unzipping the back of your dress and quickly taking it off. Taehyun watched as you unhooked your bra and threw it on the ground. He licked his lips at the way you crawled up the bed, laying your head down on the pillow per his order. You felt your face heat up. You couldn't help but feel a little shy, covering your body with your arms.

Taehyun got onto the bed, making his way up to you, not breaking eye contact for a second.

"Good girl.. but.." He gently pulled your arms off your body, laying them down at your sides. "Don't cover your beautiful body."

He grabbed both your legs and laid them over his shoulders. You watched in anticipation as he started stroking his cock, precum dripping out of the tip.

The tight feeling in your stomach returned as he began to stroke your slick folds with the tip of his cock, just barely pushing the tip in each time he slid down to your entrance.

"Taehyun.. Please just fuck me."

"Shh.. Let me take my time. I have some things to make up to you."

He then aligned himself at your entrance, finally sliding into you. You let out a long moan, feeling him stretch you out so perfectly. Your walls clenching around him, earning a hiss from him.

"F-fuck.. you feel so good."

He slowly started to move in and out of you, picking up the pace with each thrust. He looked down and watched the way he disappeared inside of you, loving the way you fit around him so perfectly.

Your pretty little moans were music to his ears and he couldn't get enough. He now hovered over you, keeping your legs over his shoulders as he rocked his hips harder into you, hitting your cervix just right. You felt like you could explode right then and there with the way he used your body.

"Baby you take my cock so good." He placed kisses along your forehead, comforting you from any pain you might have been feeling. You wrapped your arms around his torso, digging your nails into his back causing him to go even faster.

"It feels so good Taehyun.."

He kissed you once more, swallowing your moans. This time with passion unlike anything you've experienced before. He pressed your knees into your chest, hitting a spot you never knew was possible. You squeezed your eyes shut, drowning in total ecstasy. You didn't know whether to grip the sheets or Taehyun's strong arms as he pounded into you. Taehyun spewed low groans repeatedly as he continued to plunge inside of you.

"Fuckk.. baby you're so wet." Taehyun hissed, hearing the sounds your pussy made with each thrust.

"All.. for you.."

Taehyun let out a growl, hearing the words and moans that flooded out of your mouth. He pried one of your hands off the bedsheet, guiding it down to your clit.

"Rub yourself for me baby.."

You did as you were told, eagerly massaging your clit in a circular motion. Taehyun's hand made its way back up to your throat, this time gripping it just enough to keep your gaze aligned with his. You looked into his dark eyes, tears running down your cheeks as your stomach started to tighten. The pressure in your abdomen growing immensely. You tried to push back on him, feeling the pressure becoming too much. But your attempts failed as Taehyun held you down, your reaction making him fuck you harder, forcing you to experience the intense, unfamiliar feeling.

"Tae-Taehyun.. It's too much.." You whimpered out, squirming under his dominance. But just when you thought he couldn't go any faster, he did, thrusting his hips up into you in a merciless rhythm.

"Baby you're doing soo good.. ahh f-fuck.. you're almost there I can feel it."

That was enough for you to completely lose yourself. You screamed out in ecstasy, dissolving in pleasure as you reached your high. He watched your every expression as he felt your walls pulsating around him, your fluids soaking him.

And hearing you scream his name as your release saturated his cock was enough for him to finally come undone.

"Shit shit shit.. I'm cumming y/n.."

Taehyun's hips stuttered as he emptied himself inside you. He slowed down his thrusts as he rode out his high, making sure every drop of his cum was deep inside you.

All movements then came to a stop. The two of you laid in silence, catching your breath and gazing into each other, slowly coming back to reality. Moments passed before the silence was broken.

"I-I'm sorry.." Taehyun whispered out, swallowing hard. You saw his expression change, that panic look from earlier slowly returning to his eyes. He carefully slid out of you, leaving you empty and gently resting your weak legs on the bed. You could have sworn you saw a tear escape his eye before he turned away.

"Taehyun, are you okay?"

He embraced you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. Tears running from his eyes onto your shoulder.

"I'm sorry Y/N, I really am. I don't know what's wrong with me."

You weren't sure what to do since you had never seen him cry before. So you wrapped your arms around him, caressing his hair as he wept into you. Your heart ached for him.

"Taehyun, there's nothing wrong with you."

You rubbed his bare back, comforting him the best you could. Your fingers softly massaging the scratches you had left.

He placed soft pecks along the bruises on your neck.

"Does it hurt? I didn't want to hurt you."

You let out a soft chuckle.

"A little but... I actually liked it."

Taehyun met his gaze with yours once more, a slightly amused face peaking under his tear ridden cheeks.

"I didn't know you were so kinky." He teased, relieving some of the tension between the two of you.

A gentle smile formed on your face as you looked into his entrancing eyes. And there it was. A sparkle of emotion. The longing look you had been, well, longing for. A thousand words were laid out on his sleeve. There was no need for anything more.

"But seriously though, I'm going to try harder to open up to you, okay? You deserve the best and I want to be that for you."

You grabbed a hold of Taehyun's face, cupping his cheeks as it was now your turn to wipe some tears off his face.

"I know."

He leaned down, placing a gentle but heartfelt kiss on your lips. You immediately reciprocated pulling him into a deeper kiss.

The kiss quickly grew heated once more and it wasn't long before he was pushing himself back into you. Your body shuddered at the overstimulating feeling as he slowly thrusts into you.

"Tae... fuck.. again?"

You moaned into his mouth, earning a low chuckle from him.

"Oh baby, I told you I had a lot of making up to do.." He gently wrapped your legs around his waist, sinking his cock deeper into you. "I'm gonna be inside you all night."

I hope you all enjoyed !!

🏷 @zen003xx @storminacloud @stephaniekim15 @eneiyri @luvsoobs @letapostropheesgo @coochiecrawler @dilfjohhny @neozon3nha @moavill97 @bailies-me @julie03 @heartsforheeseung

I apologize if some tags don’t work !! 💓

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mothdruid · 1 year

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Home for the Holidays

pairing: bradley "rooster" bradshaw x reader

summary: Bradley might have lied about having a girlfriend. His best friend, you, decide to help him out and go home for the holidays with him. As the trip unfolds, so does your and Bradley's feelings for one another.

wc: 19.2k

warning: 18+, mdni, fluff, mild angst, smut, slow burn, pet names (babe), fake dating, kissing, unprotected sex, penetrative sex (p in v), oral sex (afab receiving), vaginal fingering, drinking (reader gets drunk), crying, bob being a good friend

a/n: hello! it's finally here!!!! thank you all for being patient with me while i finished this up

"You did what?" It was shocking, hearing Bradley word vomit every bad decision he made in the past two days. Seeming as how they all included you without your knowledge.

"It was an accident." Bradley said, lips in a slight downturn as he wrapped a hand around the back of his neck.

"That is not an accident, Bradley. It's a fucking lie." You looked at him in disbelief. This was much much worse than just an accident. You turned and started walking away from him, but alas, he followed you.

"It's not like you're doing anything for the holidays." Bradley pleaded.

"You don't know that." You arrived at your office, sitting in your desk chair quickly.

"Actually, I do ‘cause you told me last week you were planning on staying at home, getting wine drunk while watching Face Off." You glared at him, hating the fact he had such an impeccable memory. Bradley leaned against your desk, staring down at you while adjusting his reading glasses.

"I'm not your girlfriend though. How will your family feel when they find that out?" Bradley rolled his eyes. He made a wave of his hand in the air.

"They won't find out. Come on, we both took intro to acting in college, it won't be hard to fake it."

"Bradley, what did you tell them? Like explain it all word for word."

"Already did tha-"

"No, you word vomited." He huffed this time.

"Fine. Mav asked me if I was bringing anyone home. I told him I wasn't sure if I was coming home. Amelia then teased me about being alone and maybe my pride got the best of me." It was your turn to let out a huff.

"That's an understatement."

"So, then I said that I would be coming home, and bringing my girlfriend." Bradley looked at you with puppy dog eyes.

"Which is apparently me." You crossed your arms over your chest, leaning back into your chair.

"Yes." A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

"You owe me a big favor if I do this." Bradley smiled at your reply.

“I’ll do all your extra paperwork for a month.” The offer was tempting, but you knew it wouldn’t fully make up for this.

It wasn’t that you didn’t know Bradley’s family, or at least what he had left of it. His biological parents had passed away when he was young, leaving his god-parents to take care of him. You had met Pete and Penny during your college graduation. They were extremely kind people, inviting you out for a celebration dinner afterwards. But that was partially why you were nervous, they knew you on a surface level.

You had never met Amelia, only hearing about her through Bradley and seeing pictures. Bradley adored the girl, talking about her like a sister. Which wasn’t too far off. It was his god-daughter. Reminding you that Bradley’s ‘family’ wasn’t his biological family, not that it made a difference. They treated him as if he was their own, which was all that mattered.

“Bradley, I’ll have to think about it.”

After a few days to mull it over you decided to go. Even making a pros and cons list to help you decide. Bradley was ecstatic, sending you back a thumbs up and smiley blushing emoji. He then sent you a longer text explaining the plans for the trip.

The office would close on the 22nd of December, allowing you guys to fly out on the 23rd. Then you wouldn’t be returning home until December 31st. You two would be flying out to Michigan, the state where Penny and Pete had raised Bradley. Which also happened to be where the two of you attended university together. It was truly a beautiful state, one that you missed a little bit. The winters were something you never fully got used to, but who ever gets used to a winter like that.

The plane ride to Michigan wasn’t bad, only a two hour flight. Bradley picked up a rental car after landing so the two of you would be able to drive wherever. Pete and Penny lived around where ‘up north’ started. It was a smaller town close to the city you two went to university at. So, it was pertinent that the two of you had a car to go places whenever you wanted. The two of you loaded your luggage into the back of the car, silently praising that Bradley was smart enough to get an SUV for the trip. You made sure you grab your blanket out of your bag before settling into the passenger seat.

“Two hours?” You asked while you placed your blanket over your legs.

“It’s the same drive from when we were in college.” Bradley stated as he sat in the driver seat, placing the key in the ignition. You adjusted your heating settings, switching your side to max heat while Bradley adjusted his to a low heat.

“Bradley, it’s been years since I’ve been here.” He relaxed back into the seat, shifting the gear in the center console before leaving the lot. You watched as he smiled and used one hand on the wheel, the other still resting on the gear.

“This will be a fun refresher trip then.” Bradley said as he looked at you before focusing back on the road.

“There is a reason why I left Michigan, you too.” White man-made hills of snow were everywhere, reminding you of your university years. The years when you and Bradley became friends. You had thought that moving to Michigan for college wouldn’t be bad, it only being four years. But you were wrong. The winters there were cold and wet, making you a hermit for almost half the year.

“The snow isn’t that bad.” You pulled your black and grey heathered beanie off your head and tossed it on your side of the dashboard. There was an odd flutter when you looked at him, his smile seeming brighter than normal.

“You say that because you grew up here.” You pointed at him, a mocking grimace on your face. Bradley chuckled at your look, swatting your finger away.

“What? Afraid we might get stuck in the freezing cold?” You pulled the blanket up over your arms and chest, rolling your eyes at his question. “Can you pull up the GPS, maybe connect your phone to the car for music too?”

“Am I gonna have to take requests?” You raised an eyebrow at him. Bradley’s lips quirked to one side as you started to fiddle with the touch screen in the rental.

“Honestly, as long as you get the directions pulled up I’ll let you listen to whatever.” Bradley said as he finally made it onto the freeway. A part of you wondered why he even needed the GPS working when it was a straight shot. That was one you enjoyed about Michigan, I-75. The freeway that could take you all the way from Canada to Florida. It was practically the straight shot to anywhere in Michigan, except the western side of the state and most of the upper peninsula. But you indulged him, pulling the GPS up.

“So, are there any specific plans for the holidays?” You put your music on shuffle, keeping it at a low volume. Bradley shrugged.

“All I’m really aware of is Christmas Eve and Christmas day. They know we are heading out on New Year’s eve. But we might have a gathering during the week.” You laid your seat back a little bit, getting more comfortable as Bradley stayed focused on the road.

“I’ll assume that Christmas Eve and Christmas are gonna be with the family. But what are we doing during the week? Besides lounging of course.” There were a few thumps as Bradley hit some classic Michigan potholes.

“Of course. We are having a little get together.” Bradley muttered. You could tell he was hiding something.

“Bradley, don’t lie to me anymore.” You squinted at him. Bradley brought a hand to the back of his neck, scratching awkwardly and the crunch of the material of his winter coat drowned out the music.

“I uh.. I might have agreed to a little college reunion with the gang.” College reunion? With ‘the gang’? That wasn’t what you signed up for. You had signed up for hot cocoa and presents with his family, being awkwardly teased about a relationship that didn’t exist. Faking a relationship in front of their friends wasn’t in the deal. You shot up out of your seat, turning to face him better.

“You what? Bradley! I’m not doing this,” you gestured between the two of you, “in front of them.” Bradley’s face scrunched up as he looked at you. You swatted at his arm, earning a fake yelp from him as he pulled away from you.

“Hey! I’m driving!”

“Crash the car now then! They can’t think we are together!” Bradley rolled his eyes.

“I’m not crashing the car, it’s a rental. Plus, it’s not like Hangman doesn’t already think that.” You let out a huff while the car went over another pothole.

“Jake can’t know about this little deal we have. He’d get off on it too much.”

“Well, none of them have to know about it. We can keep it a secret.” Another pothole. You turned the music up then curled back up into your seat. You knew that was too hopeful, everyone of your friends would know immediately. Especially Bob and Natasha. Bradley focused back on the road after he made sure you were done arguing.

He knew why you wouldn’t want the group to think you two were dating, many of them having bet money on your relationship status every year of university. But Jake had always been the most relentless. Bradley decided to push that thought to the back of his mind, focusing on the road while occasionally looking over at your now sleeping form.

Bradley looked over as you started to rustle, sleep still covering your features. For a split second he smiled, taking in how adorable you looked. Bradley blushed at his own thoughts, focusing back on the road. You rubbed at your eyes, looking around the car and stretching out your arms. Bradley leaned a bit away from you as one of your hands moved into his space while you stretched.

“Morning sleepyhead.” Bradley said as you sat up and moved your seat back upright. Bradley chuckled when you shot a glare at him. You looked out the window, noticing larger mounds of snow littering the area. There had to be at least a foot of snow in the surrounding area. You grabbed your beanie from the dashboard, putting it back on. You weren’t even outside but you could already feel the lower temperature.

“How far away are we?” You asked, switching the song.

“GPS says twenty minutes, but I think I can make it in fifteen.” Bradley joked with a wink. You shot him a playful look before checking your phone. There was a text from Bob, making you smile.

He was still one of you best friends from college, the both of you texting occasionally. You had met him at college, just like the rest of your friend group. Him and Mickey had been the only ones that weren’t so annoying about your relationship with Bradley. It was a short text, but one that had your nose scrunching up.

Bobert: You going home with Brad?

You: yeah, but it isn’t anything like that

You: also don’t call him that, it’s weird

Bobert: says the person who calls him B

The twenty minutes flew by quickly, taking in all of the surroundings outside. Bradley was right when he said it was a small town. You were pretty sure there were only three stop lights in the entire town. The town seemed dead, as most towns did during the winter in Michigan. Most people bundled up inside, drinking hot cocoa, and watching Christmas movies with their families. Or at least that was what you did while you were here. Bundled up in your dorm or apartment, depending on the year, while sipping hot cocoa with an iconic Christmas movie on. Bradley and Jake always teased you about being scrooge, but you couldn’t help that the ‘merry season’ just didn’t bring much merriment for you.

Bradley turned down streets that you definitely weren’t going to remember, before turning into a driveway of a home. It was an obvious two story home. The outside of the house was covered in mismatching stones, a nice cement porch attached to the front. Dead bushes lined the edge of the driveway next to the house, wrapping around near the porch. There were lights covering and the edges of the roof, currently off due to it being daytime. You could make out small wire frames of a few deer lawn ornaments.

“This your childhood home?” You asked as you undid your seatbelt to get out. Bradley’s mustache twitched, a small curve to his lips. It looked almost like a nostalgic but melancholic look. His hazel eyes were full of emotions when he looked at you. It had been years since Bradley came home for the holidays, mainly spending his holidays alone now.

“Sure is.” Bradley undid his own seatbelt, opening the driver door and getting out of the car. You quickly followed suit, the both of you heading to get the back of the car to get your luggage.

A shiver ran through your body as you followed Bradley’s lead, making your way to the side door of the house. All you could think about was getting inside, the warmth of the home calling to you. A part of you was hoping that Penny might already have hot cocoa prepared for you two, even though the chances were low. Bradley knocked on the door, making sure to not hit the wreath hanging on it. Bradley stood on the small set of cement steps towards the door, creating an extremely large height difference. Bradley wiggled his eyebrows playfully as you two waited for someone to answer.

“Are you sure they are home?” You rocked back and forth lightly, trying to generate some extra warmth. Bradley tilted his head and gave you a weird look.

“Penny and Mav are retired. Plus, Amelia is on break from school. One of them has to be home.” Bradley stated as he leaned over to try and look in the windows near the door. “Or at least I’m pretty sure someone should be here.” Bradley smiled awkwardly at you before the door swung open.

“What are you doing here?” A young blonde haired girl said with a glare.

“Are you home alone?” Bradley questioned. You watched the two of them, taking in their casual conversation. You knew this was Amelia, recognizing some of her features. “You gonna let us in or nah?” Bradley’s question caught your attention.

“Yeah, please. It’s really cold out here.” You finally spoke up, earning a smile from Amelia.

“You’re lucky you brought your girlfriend Roo, or else I’d make you sleep in the garage.” Amelia smiled brightly after her words, opening the door and stepping out of the way. There was an odd feeling in your chest, when she called you Bradlye’s girlfriend. You offered an awkward smile to her, not sure if you would ever get used to being called Bradley’s girlfriend. The two of you grabbed your suitcases and made your way inside. It was a relief to feel the heat of the home engulf your body.

“I’ll remember that when it’s Christmas morning.” Bradley quipped as he took his beanie off, you mimicking his action. Amelia stuck her tongue out, leaving the small foyer-like room. There were pictures of Bradley and Amelia adorning the walls in the foyer with the occasional Christmas decoration of the wall. The ages of them ranged from toddler to Bradley’s university graduation. One picture stood out to you though. It was toddler Bradley with two people you had never met. A gentle and kind looking woman next to a man with a pair of aviator sunglasses on and a goofy smile. The man was holding Bradley on his hip, an outdoor grill obvious in the background. Bradley must have realized you were staring at the picture, him standing a bit closer to you.

“That’s mom and dad.” You turned to see Bradley merely inches away from your face. A heat you had noticed earlier started to boil under your cheeks. “I’ll tell you more about them later. Let’s get our stuff upstairs.”

Bradley led the way through the comforting home, more Christmas decorations littering the home the deeper you got. It gave you an immediate sense of security, knowing that nothing wrong could happen here. The walls inside the home were adorned with more family pictures. You saw some of just Mav and Bradley’s dad, even ones of teenage Bradley and his mom. You knew that Bradley had lost his parents from a car accident, just had never seen what they looked like. The two of you made your way up the wrapping staircase.

“So, we are sharing a room.” Bradley said as you made your way down the hallway.

“We are what now?” Bradley opened the door to what you assumed was his old bedroom. It was more of a spare room now though, no old traces of Bradley lingering in it. There was only one bed. Of course there was only one bed.

“That’s fine, but only one bed?” You questioned. Bradley scooted his suitcase to the side of the room, offering you a smile.

“I’ll sleep on the floor, I promise.”

“Good, cause I’m not sharing.” You playfully elbowed his arm, smirking when he made an over exaggerated yelp.

After getting your suitcases sorted and unpacked you made your way downstairs. You found Amelia sitting in the living room, some type of docu-series on the tv. You sat on the couch opposite of her, checking your phone. Not only did you have a text from Bob, but one from Mickey now too.

Bobert: (; sure it ain’t

Mickey: how am i finding out from bob you’re with rooster for the holidays????

You rolled your eyes, deciding that neither of them deserved a response. You looked up from your phone, meeting Amelia’s gaze. You offered a small wave to her, not sure how to start a conversation with her.

“So, have you two always been together?” Amelia crossed her arms and sunk further into the couch. Your eyebrows knitted together.

“No? Why wou-”

“You two went to CMU together, right?” You nodded. “And were you dating then?”

“No, why are you-”

“Hey!” Bradley interrupted you, coming into the living room and sitting next to you. He wrapped an arm behind you, pressing his body closely to yours. You could feel a small flutter in your stomach, something you had vaguely felt before. Especially with Bradley.

Being this close with Bradley wasn’t unfamiliar, it was something you enjoyed from time to time. It was just nice to have someone there occasionally, that someone being Bradley. But this was different. You two were technically boyfriend and girlfriend right now. A couple. It made you feel something weird, something you couldn’t pinpoint exactly. All you knew was that it made your body act differently. A warmth was blossoming behind your cheeks, heart fluttering from his looks and smiles, hands developing a clamminess.

“What are the two of you talking about?” Bradley asked with a big smile, his arm pulling you a little more snug into him.

“You.” Amelia said with a playful glare. It was Bradley’s turn to poke his tongue out at her. The two of them started to talk while you watched them. If you hadn’t known Bradley for years, you would have thought this was his sibling. Amelia was that of sorts, even if she was about thirteen years younger than him. Bradley was an only child, but the conversation you were witnessing made you question that fact.

“Well what about me?” Bradley asked.

“That you should shave your mustache.” Amelia quipped. You couldn’t hide your giggle, only to be met with an offended look from Bradley.

“There’s no way. You love my mustache don’t you, babe?” The heat flooded your cheeks once more.

“I-I mean, I forgot what you look like without it. You’ve had it for years.”

“You can be honest. It looks bad.” Amelia harped from her side of the living room. Bradley went to say something, stopping when he heard the door open. Amelia shot Bradley a playful look, getting up and running over to the kitchen. Suddenly you could feel Bradley’s breath on your cheek and neck, making your heartbeat pick up.

“Sorry about all of this.” Bradley gestured to where the two of your bodies were pressed together. You turned to look at him, your eyes locking with his hazel ones. There were only a few mere inches between the two of you. “Gotta sell the part, ya know?”

“No, no, I totally get it.” You patted at the top of his thigh, rubbing your hand lightly on his jean clad thigh. Your eyes flicked to his lips then to his eyes again. It was like something clicked in your brain, you immediately looked away from him making a small cough-like noise. “Sorry, scratch in my throat.”

Without warning Mav walked in, causing Bradley to stand up and separate from you. It was the most miniscule thing, but you were relieved. You gave Mav a smile, waving at Penny as she came around. Even though you felt welcome, all you could think about was the flight back home.

“No, Bob!” You whispered on the phone. “He was like inches away, like if either of us were bumped, there would have been lip to lip contact.” You heard a small snicker. “What are you laughing about?”

“About you coming to your senses.” You rolled your eyes, sitting down on the bed you’d be sleeping in later.

“There aren't any ‘senses’ for me to come to.” What the fuck was Bob talking about anyway?

“Sure there aren’t. But if you don’t see it, I’m not gonna tell you.” Bob’s shit eating grin could be heard through the phone.

“Good, ‘cause there is nothing to be seen.” You were about to continue the conversation before Bradley walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He wore an old marron Central Michigan University t-shirt, gray sweatpants, towel still in hand, hair wet. Something inside of you lurched seeing Bradley like this, seeing him so casual and domestic. It wasn’t like how you used to see him in college, there was something different now.

“I gotta let you go, Bob. I’ll text you.” There was a small silence between you and Bradley before he spoke.

“How’s Bob?” Bradley asked, gathering the extra blankets he found earlier. He laid a comforter down on the floor next to the bed. You pulled your legs up onto the bed, trying to keep them out of his way while he assembled his makeshift bed. You grabbed one of the pillows from the head of the bed and plopped it down on his comforter.

“Bob is, Bob is fine.” Bradley got down on his knees, rolling out the blankets and fluffing the pillow you tossed down. Another silence.

“Hey, I… I’m sorry about earlier and dinner. If I’m being a bit too much,” he looked up at you, “just let me know. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” A sincere look was on his features.

“Bradley..”

“I just need this holiday to go well, okay?” A small amount of emotion had slipped into Bradley’s sincere look.

“Bradley, what is this really about?” Bradley looked away from you.

“I know you don’t want to be here, but please. I need to show Mav that I’m doing well.” You watched Bradley with a smile as he started talking with his hands. It was kind of cute, something he did when he got nervous. “He keeps harping on me and I just-” You took his hands in yours, stopping the movements. Bradley finally looked back up at you, making you smile.

“Why didn’t you just tell me this when you asked me?” You thought about dinner, how Mav kept asking questions. When did you two officially get together? When are you gonna move in together? Did you always like each other? Any thoughts about marriage?

“I didn’t want you to feel pressured about the entire thing. Like if you didn’t want to come, you didn’t have to. Mav is just a little overbearing, and has been since my parents passed. He just-”

“Bradley,” he stopped his rambling, “I’m your friend, okay? Friends help friends. And that unfortunately means maybe pretending to be your friend's girlfriend to make it seem like he is doing good in life with his god-father.” Bradley’s lips cracked into a smile at your words.

“Thanks. I knew there was a reason why I call you my best friend.” A small flutter in your chest was noticeable as you smiled back at him.

“You’re gonna owe me so much take-out and coffee after this.”

It was Christmas Eve and all five of you were in the living room. It was apparently tradition for Bradley and his family to watch Space-Balls on Christmas Eve, followed by some assortment of Christmas movies afterwards. Pete and Penny were on one couch, Penny curled up under Pete’s arm. Amelia was curled up on a recliner, bundled up with a fleece blanket. Then there was you and Bradley. Bradley sat at one end of the couch, you laid out at the other end with your legs stretching out. Your feet were currently set on Bradley’s lap, one of his hands rested on your shin while the other was curled around the heel of one foot.

Everyone was focused on the movie, laughing at the jokes they had laughed at before. But you weren’t focused on the movie. Yes, it was one of your favorites. How could it not be, seeing Bill Pullman pull out such a stellar comedy performance. But alas, you were focused on your best friend.

After your conversation last night, it was easier. All of it. The small touches of Bradley’s fingertips or hands, the invasion of your ‘bubble’ became more bearable too. Even the small things your body was doing. Everytime Bradley laughed it warmed you, making you forget about the ten degree weather outside. The way your heart fluttered when he looked at you, it was oddly exciting. Has that always happened when he looked at you?

You felt a squeeze on your heel, pulling you out of your thoughts. Bradley was giving you a questioning look, silently asking if you were okay with another squeeze of your heel. After giving him a soft smile and nod he turned back to the movie. Bradley had always been a type of comfort to you, but this was a different kind of comfort he was providing now. The movie played on, earning a few giggles and chuckles from you and the others. It wasn’t until the end of the movie any of you noticed the new snowflakes flurrying beyond the window pane.

“Fresh snow!” Amelia shouted, whipping around in the recliner to look out the window behind her. You sat up a little bit, pulling the blanket on your lap up around you while inching closer to Bradley.

“Wonder how long it’s been snowing.” Bradley whispered as you leaned into him. The blanket you had was warm, but you wanted more warmth. You silently thanked whatever higher power for making Bradley a walking furnace.

“Not sure.” Bradley wrapped an arm around you, pulling you tighter into him. You looked across the living room, catching a look from Mav. There was this look of adoration in his eyes as he watched you and Bradley. A small pang of guilt struck you, feeling bad about fooling him. But if this was what Bradley wanted, you would help. You weren’t going to be around when it blew up anyways, when Bradley had to explain why you had ‘broken up’ or that it was all fake.

“Let’s go outside! Make a snowman or something!” Amelia turned back around and sat up.

“I don’t know about that one.” Penny said, sitting up on the couch. “It’s pretty cold outside.”

“We will wear our coats, hats and gloves. Promise.” Amelia held out her pinky to her mother, signaling a pinky promise. Mav chuckled at her before speaking.

“And who is we?” Amelia shrugged at Mav’s question.

“Me and Bradley.” It was Bradley’s turn to sit up straight, making you sit up straight.

“Hey, I didn’t agree to that.” Bradley said, his arms still around you.

“Please?” Amelia asked, putting on her best puppy dog eyes. Bradley rolled his eyes.

“Fine but only if she comes out too.” Bradley smirked as he gestured to you. You sat back from him, giving him an astonished look.

“If I-”

“Pretty please. I wanna go do snow angels, but I don’t wanna go alone.” Amelia interrupted you, now giving you puppy dog eyes. You didn’t want to ruin her mood.

“Only if I get to pick the next Christmas movie.” Everyone agreed to let you pick the next Christmas movie. You, Bradley, and Amelia hunted down your winter gear. Bradley made sure to tie your boots tight for you, knowing that you didn’t want to risk getting snow in them. Amelia grabbed your arm, tugging you down for her to whisper something.

“Let’s pelt him with snowballs.”

The three of you went outside, hats pulled down and far as possible. Amelia ran through the snow coating the driveway, missing the cars as she made her way to the front yard. You and Bradley walked to the yard, seeing Amelia with her arms out and wide, twirling as she caught snowflakes with her tongue. It made you smile, seeing her enjoy the very essence of what winter was. Bradley watched you, taking in your expression. He felt something blossom inside of him, not being able to place what it was exactly.

“Ready for snow angels?” You joked, elbowing him lightly. Bradley smiled at you, before nodding and leading the way. Penny and Pete watched your snow angel joy turn into a snowball fight, you and Amelia teaming up against Bradley.

“They’re cute.” Penny said as she watched Bradley fall down as Amelia tackled him into the snow. All Mav could do was nod, smiling as he watched the three of you. He had never seen Bradley so happy, let alone so happy with another person.

“The, the, the, the Grinch!” Bradley mocked, repeating the line of your favorite Christmas movie as you two made it up the stairs. After coming back inside from a thorough snowball fight, you forced everyone to sit through the live-action Grinch.

It was late now, the two of you making your way up to your shared room. Bradley shot you a pair of finger guns before gathering his clothes, heading into the bathroom. It was his way of giving you privacy while changing. The both of you hoped that Amelia never saw it, not wanting her to catch on to your charade. You slipped into your sleepwear, your own Central Michigan University t-shirt and sweatpants. You checked your phone after you set your dirty clothes in the clothes basket. There were a few messages from your dagger squad group chat and a few from Bob.

Dagger Squad, Nat: Midland Street? Right?

Dagger Squad, Jakey: i mean, fricks is an option

Dagger Squad, Javs: only saying fricks cause you live there

Dagger Squad, Jakey: sue me

Dagger Squad, BradBrad: Either spot, can’t be out late. Have to drive afterwards

You squinted at the time of Bradley’s message, seeing it was only from a few minutes ago. You typed out a small reply to the group chat, explaining you also had a drive before looking at Bob’s texts.

Bobert: How’s the trip?

Bobert: You’re not mad about our convo, right?

Bobert: Sorry if I was out of line.

Bobert: Y’all coming to the get together?

You thought Bradley had told everyone you two would be there.

You: yeah, just have to drive afterwards. and no, i’m not mad, just had to watch a lot of christmas movies and beat bradley’s ass in a snowball fight

A beat barely passed when a notification dropped down, a text to the group chat from Jake.

Dagger Squad, Jakey: just one of you lovebirds dd, i got a spare room if you need it (;

You rolled your eyes, just in time for Bradley to walk in the room. He had his phone in hand, staring at the screen as he closed the door. He turned to look at you, holding his phone out for you to see the screen. The group chat was pulled up on his screen.

“Are you seeing this?” You held up your phone, showing him the group chat on your screen.

“Grade-A asshole.” You joked about Jake. You climbed into bed, curling up under the plush comforter. You scooted to the edge, looking at Bradley as he settled onto his makeshift bed.

“Sometimes I wonder why we are friends with him.” Bradley stated, plugging his charger into the phone and setting it on the nightstand. He picked up your charger cord, handing it to you for you to plug your phone in.

“It’s crazy how any of us are friends.” You said while plugging your phone in.

“How so?” Bradley asked, looking up at you from the floor. Your heart swelled as you looked at him, his honey locks disheveled against the pillow. There was a tiredness that was settling on his features, one that was most likely settling onto yours too.

“I mean, aside from us, we all have different majors. It’s kind of surprising we all managed to stay friends after pre-req years.” Bradley shrugged. He tried hard not to smile as he stared up at you, your cute peeking form over the edge of the bed. The two of you just stared at each other for a moment before you spoke up again.

“Should we set an alarm for the morning? Don’t wanna miss any presents.” Bradley shook his head no.

“I promise you, they won’t open anything before we get down there.” You rolled back onto the bed completely, rolling onto your side.

“Goodnight, Bradley.”

“Goodnight, babe.”

The two of you were awoken by Penny knocking on your door. After confirmation the two of you were awake she told the two of you to be downstairs in ten minutes. Bradley groaned as he rolled onto his side. You checked your phone, seeing a text from Mickey, Bob, and the dagger squad group chat. You looked at the time, 9:25am, then decided to ignore the texts. Those were a future you problem. Without warning Bradley stood up, not facing you and leaving the room.

It was odd, he at least told you good morning yesterday before heading to the bathroom. You changed into an old university sweater, waiting for Bradley to return. After a few minutes you decided to head down alone, knowing Bradley would be close to follow.

The smell of cinnamon rolls flooded your senses, making you smile. You saw Penny and Amelia in the kitchen, talking about something while preparing the cinnamon rolls. You made your way to the first floor bathroom, deciding to use it before interacting for the day. After using the bathroom you made your way to the living room. Pete smiled at you once he saw you.

“Merry Christmas!” Mav greeted you before frowning. “Where’s Bradley?” You shrugged.

“Went to the bathroom in a hurry and I haven’t seen him since.” Mav nodded, a weird half frown half smirk on his lips. You went to question the look before Bradley walked into the living room. His cheeks had a rosy tint to them, making you question why he left for the bathroom even more.

“Morning.” You greeted as he sat next to you. Bradley smiled and just nodded to you, turning his attention to Mav quickly.

“We just put the cinnamon rolls in, so let’s do some presents.” Penny informed as she sat next to Mav. Amelia sat at her classic recliner, staring at the gifts under the Christmas tree.

“It’s present time.” And with those words gifts were passed around. Bradley had explained on the plane ride that Mav and Penny had his presents shipped to his apartment. It made sense, flying made it hard to bring anything back with you during the holidays. But that didn’t stop them from getting the two of you new beanies and scarves, things that wouldn’t be hard to take on a plane.

“We know it’s small but we couldn’t leave you out.” Penny said as you set the items on the arm of the couch.

“Thank you, it means a lot.” Penny smiled then excused herself to check on the cinnamon rolls in the oven. Bradley watched Amelia with a soft smile as she shoved a present towards Mav.

Seeing Bradley like this made your heart ache, knowing that he wasn’t able to experience this every year. It was lonely living away from everything you knew. You had left your home state for college, Bradley left his for work. You had happened to both get employed by the same company after university, forcing you two to stay close. But there was a kind of comfort in having each other. Bradley’s constant open availability for a movie night and you always paying for his take out was a match made in heaven. Without a further thought you nudged him lightly.

“You okay?” Bradley nodded, that kind tilt of his lips still on his face.

“Of course, what makes you ask?” Bradley leaned back into the couch, placing his arm around you. There was an unspoken comfortability in the small action, for you and Bradley. You leaned into him, eyes never leaving Amelia and Pete.

“You never said good morning.” That rosy tint crept back into Bradley’s cheeks. His eyes flicked to yours briefly before leaning in, his hot breath against the shell of your ear.

“Sorry, I won’t let it happen again.” It was now your turn for a heat to rise in your cheeks, warming you to your very core. Was Bradley flirting with you? Your brain short-circuited, replying without thinking it through.

“You better not.” You whispered back, leaning closer into him to see Mav open a coffee mug saying “I’m a Pielat, Pielit, Pilat, I can fly” which earned a hearty chuckle from him.

Bradley kept his arm around you for the rest of the day, except when you enjoyed Penny’s homemade cinnamon rolls that you made sure to get the recipe for. Maybe you would make them for you and Bradley sometime, to remind him of home when he needed it the most. A warmth spread through you at that thought, the idea of being able to provide him a sense of home. You shook your head, trying to push your thoughts away. Why were you even thinking that? Providing Bradley a sense of home? The two of you were friends, not an actual couple you reminded yourself of.

Bradley was beyond elated with how the trip was going. It was only three days into the trip, but your sentiment about it all had changed. Bradley was surprised when you let him, continually, wrap his arm around you. He liked keeping you close to him, snuggled into his side as you all watched more Christmas movies. There was a warmth spreading through his chest, creeping into all of his crevices. It was making him whole, fixing all the cracks that were inside of him previously. He knew that you had something to do with it.

Maybe it was the way you teased him along with his family. Or how you fit in with them so well, holding any conversation like you’d known them personally for years. The way you made snow angels charmed him too, even though you had turned into a little devil that pelted him with snowballs. Even when you were peeking over the edge of the bed, staring down at him with your wide eyes while complaining about Jake. Or maybe it was the dream he had, where dream him was fucking dream you in his childhood bedroom. Or how he couldn’t get the images of dream you moaning underneath of him.

The feeling wasn’t completely unfamiliar, he had felt it in the past. He had always tried to ignore it, not wanting to mess anything up with you. But you were his best friend, and had been since college. What was a friendship if you didn’t sometimes love them a little too much? Right?

It was late now though, and you were still curled up under his arm. You looked peaceful, sleep having taken over during the final christmas movie after dinner. Bradley didn’t want to wake you, wishing the two of you could stay like this forever. He didn’t get many chances to see you this peaceful. He eventually pushed those feelings to the side, deciding it was best to get you up to the bed. He didn’t want to chance you waking up in the middle of the night on the couch disoriented.

“Hey,” Bradley nudged your shoulder, “gotta get up. Get you up to bed, can’t have you sleeping on the couch or me all night.” You rustled a little, eyes fluttering open to meet his hazel orbs.

“Why not?” You asked with a yawn.

“Because I’m not a bed. Plus, you gotta brush your teeth.” You gave him a face that read ‘ah’, sitting up and stretching your arms. You looked around to see just the two of you in the living room.

“Did everyone go to bed?”

“Yeah, everyone turned in for the night.” Bradley sat up a little bit, looking at you with this soft look. You stared at him with a sleepy look, making his heart flutter. You looked so damn cute to him. “I can carry you, if you’d like?”

A heat flooded your cheeks from his offer. You shook your head as Bradley stood up, holding his hand out for you to take. You looked at it skeptically through your sleepy haze, eventually taking it. His large hand enveloped yours, leading you up to your room. Bradley gathered his things and scurried to the bathroom, leaving you alone in the bedroom. A part of you was starting to question why he left every time. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen you naked before, even though the times he had seen you it was an accident.

You slowly pulled your beat up CMU sweater off, tossing it on the floor to track down your t-shirt. You put a pair of sweatpants on, t-shirt still missing. You looked around, searching for the maroon t-shirt. The door to the room opened while you were searching, revealing a shirtless Bradley with your maroon shirt in his hands. He stared at your shirtless figure, only a black bralette covering your tits.

“I- uh.. I accidentally grabbed your shirt.” Bradley offered the maroon material out to you.

It was as if you were frozen, staring at his body. You remembered how toned Bradley was in college, but he had changed with age just like you had. He was still slim, but it wasn’t all muscle like he used to be. The heat returned to your cheeks, radiating into the back of your neck and chest. It was a christmas miracle you tore your gaze away, only to catch Bradley’s gaze crawling all over your exposed skin. Bradley had a rosy tint to his cheeks again, something that was a common theme today. He tore his gaze away, turning his head and holding the shirt out a little more.

“And you thought I was the tired one.” It was a poor attempt to break the new tension between the two of you. Bradley cracked an awkward smile. “I’m gonna go brush my teeth.” You said, scooting past Bradley with your t-shirt in hand. After you brushed your teeth you stared at yourself in the mirror, wondering what the hell was going on with you.

"Rooster, can you come help me?" The basement door was wide open in the kitchen, Maverick at the bottom of the stairs leading into the basement. You raised your eyebrows at Bradley, who was sitting across from you at the table.

A chill had consumed the house all morning. Everyone was bundled up in sweaters, sweatpants, cozy socks, and Bradley in a beanie. Mav had made sure to keep an eye on the thermostat, slowly watching the temp drop. Penny had left for work already, leaving Maverick responsible for figuring out the dropping heating problem. Bradley made his way to the door, asking for good luck before heading down to the basement. As Bradley's footsteps trailed to silence, your phone vibrated.

Mickey: y'all fuck yet????

You rolled your eyes, not noticing Amelia watching you from the kitchen.

You: we aren't gonna fuck like that

You: you’re as bad as jake

Mickey: like that???

You: we aren't fucking at all

Mickey: that's not what a little bird told me

You: if you mean bob, that's not what I told him

Mickey: it was an actual bird. or at least a mythical one (;

"A mythical bird?" You quietly asked. The text glared at you, racking the crevices of your brain.

"Like a Phoenix?" Amelia's playful tone cut through your thoughts.

Phoenix. Of course it was Phoenix.

Natasha Trace was Bradley's second best friend, right after you. She went to the same high school as Bradley, and the same university as the rest of you. In college she earned the nickname Phoenix from Jake, after a wild night of partying and her being completely unphased the day after. If you had been telling Bob about what happened, there was a chance that Bradley was telling Natasha. Maybe Bradley thought all these interactions were just as weird.

"You two are dating, right?" Amelia's voice interrupted your train of thought again. She scuttled in from the kitchen to the dining room, a blanket wrapped around her and her sweatshirt hood pulled up. She stared at you from the edge of the table.

"What makes you ask that?"

"First, you didn't say yes. Second, Bradley had never mentioned you prior. Just makes me wonder things." Her words weren't hurtful, she just wanted to know. Contemplation wavered in you for a moment, deciding whether to tell Amelia the truth or not.

“Don’t tell your mom and Mav. And don’t tell Bradley that I told you this either.” Amelia’s smirk grew wide at your words.

“I knew it!” An excited whisper left her, accompanied by a finger pointing at you. You rolled your shoulders and tilted your head at her.

“Bradley needed someone to bring home since Mav kept asking if he was seeing anyone. And now here I am, in the freezing cold with you.” Amelia snickered at your last comment. She was a sweet girl, you could feel the secret was safe with her.

“Bradley had never mentioned you, so I thought it was a little weird.” She admitted while pulling out a chair to sit. A nod and smile was all you were able to give her. “It’s not that you guys aren’t believable, because you are. The looks you two give each other? Those are on par with mom and Mav.” You squinted while tilting your head, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Amelia laughed. “Why are you giving me that look?”

“What?” Amelia’s eyes widened at your question. An at home theater had formed in your brain, replaying all of the moments of the trip in your brain.

“Are you serious?” You just stared at her in disbelief. “You’re just as oblivious as Bradley.” The both of you turned to look at the door to the basement, hearing footsteps climbing the stairs. Pete was the first one to emerge, Bradley right on his tail. Bradley smiled awkwardly, looking between you and Amelia. He clearly knew something was up between the two of you.

“Well, the furnace is out. Gonna have to call the H-VAC company.” Pete looked defeated, fishing his phone out of his pocket. He walked over to the sink, leaning against it as he googled the local company. Bradley made his way over to your chair, placing a hand on your back and rubbing lightly. All you could do was stare at Amelia, watching as her lips curved into a grin.

“You two good?” Bradley questioned, his hand stilling on your back. Amelia looked up at Bradley with that grin on her lips.

“Just fine, Roo. Why wouldn’t we be?” The gal on this kid was impressing you more and more. You watched Amelia as she put her hands up under her chin, batting her lashes at Bradley. It pulled a giggle out of you, watching her try to soothe Bradley’s suspicion. Bradley scrunched his eyebrows together at Amelia, confused as to why she was acting like this.

“O-kay. Babe, can you help me pull out some electric heaters from the garage?” You squinted at him, chatter of Mav on the phone filling the background now.

“Um, why didn’t we get those earlier?”

“Exactly.” It was nice to hear Amelia agree with you.

“I asked the same thing,” Bradley leaned down between the two of you, “but you know how he is.” All three of you looked towards the kitchen, seeing Mav pinching the bridge of his nose. None of you could hear his hushed tone. Bradley turned back and stood up, shrugging his shoulders. “Said something about how high the electric bill will be.”

“Of course he did.” Amelia scoffed, shaking her head in amusement.

“Yeah, I’ll help with getting the heaters.” In all honesty, you just wanted away from Amelia. You wanted time to process her words, without her being present.

The two of you bundled up, throwing on your coats and boots before heading out to the garage. Bradley swiped the key to the garage door, letting you out the house first. It felt relieving knowing it was still colder outside, reminding you it wasn’t that cold in the house. Your hands were tightly in your coat pockets, trying to scavenge any type of heat they could find. Bradley headed to the tall wooden gate that separated the backyard from the driveway. His hands rubbed together vigorously, bringing the up to blow warm air against the cold appendages.

“Forgot gloves?” Bradley smirked at your words.

“Yeah.” It was a soft ‘yeah’, one that made your heart flutter. Bradley was staring at you with this soft look on his face. He looked at your pockets, seeing small movements behind the polyester material. “Forget yours too?”

All you could do was nod, praying Bradley would open the gate soon. Which he did, flipping the latch and letting you pass through before him. It was left open as he unlocked the garage door, ushering you into the smaller building. It was colder in the garage than the house, but a few degrees warmer than outside. He left the door slightly cracked as he looked for the heaters.

Your body had started to waddle in place, trying to produce some amount of heat. You took your hands out of your coat pockets, placing them between your thighs for warmth. It was only once you curled in on yourself a little Bradley noticed you. He made his way over to you, straightening your posture up to talk to you. You were face to face with him, his face a few inches away.

“Last time you forget gloves, right?”

“Right.” Bradley reached at your forearms, pulling your hands out from between your thighs. He brought your hands up to his mouth, cupping them with his own. Hot breath coated the cold skin of your hands, setting your insides on fire. Your brain was starting to short circuit, feeling the hairs of Bradley’s mustache poking at your hands. Hazel eyes locked with yours, almost reading your thoughts as they popped into your brain. His lips were almost on your skin, a heat was rising from your chest into your neck and face. But no matter what warning signs your body sent out, you weren’t pulling away.

Only a few more warm breaths of air coated your hands, Bradley pulling away. His eyes never left yours, hazel orbs peering into your deepest thoughts. His hands left yours though, grabbing his beanie off his head. The fabric was full of his residual warmth, warming your scalp and ears when he placed it on your head.

“There, all better.” Bradley smiled at you, turning to go back and look for the heaters.

A few moments passed before Bradley found them, hidden on a shelving unit. Your heart was still pounding from the previous interaction. But a sense of relief had washed over you once they were found. There were only three of them, but the amount didn’t matter to you. You were just glad you actually found them. You grabbed one while Bradley grabbed the other two, you closing the doors and gate while trailing behind him.

Pete looked defeated when the two of you entered the house. Amelia was still sitting at the table, scrolling through her phone. You and Bradley both gave questioning looks to them, Amelia looked up from her phone to meet your looks. She shrugged and looked back at her phone. Maverick pinched the bridge of his nose once more, a common look for today.

“What’s up? What’d they say?” Bradley asked as he scooted past Mav, bringing one heater out towards the living room. Mav huffed before responding.

“Won’t be here til tomorrow.” Your look was laced with surprise and annoyance. Mav must have caught it, throwing his hands up in the air. “You’re telling me. So, we will probably have to rotate the heaters. Keep them on the first floor, then move them to the bedrooms at night.” Bradley returned from the living room, grabbing another space heater to place in the crest of the dining area and living room. After placing the last one in the kitchen, the four of you settle into the living room, bundling up with blankets as you all watch whatever Amelia put on.

Penny was equally unimpressed with the answer the H-VAC company gave, but at least they knew it would only last a night. A space heater was moved to everyone’s respective rooms, warming them barely. A sweatshirt and sweatpants were your sleep attire for the night, Bradley wearing the same. It was painful watching him crawl on into his makeshift bed. The layers barely helped, the heater not being powerful enough to heat the entire room. That was when you heard a soft chittering. You rolled over to the edge of the bed, looking down to see Bradley curled up in a blanket and shivering. Sharing the bed was the only option to keep the both of you warm.

“Bradley?” One of his eyes opened, peering up at you.

“Yeah?”

“Do you wanna share the bed?” Bradley knitted his eyebrows, both eyes open now.

“I- no, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” Bradley lightly shook his head.

“Bradley, you won’t make me uncomfortable.”

“No, I’m not getting in the bed.”

“Why?” A smirk grew on Bradley’s face.

“You have cooties, obviously.” You rolled your eyes.

“I’m serious, you’re gonna freeze.”

“And I’m also serious.” Bradley pulled his blanket up over his neck, a shudder running through him.

"Bradley, I can hear your teeth. Get in the bed." Your whisper was harsh as you tried to convince Bradley to remove himself from the floor. Even though you didn't really want to share the bed, you definitely weren't going to let him freeze to death on the floor of his childhood bedroom.

“Fine.” Was all you heard before Bradley stood up.

Hot. It was the first word your brain registered when you woke up. Maybe it was the layers or the space heater that had run all night. There was a weight on your midsection, shifting to see what it was. It was hard to make out the familiar arm in your sleep induced haze.. That’s when you remembered inviting Bradley into the bed. His shuddering and shivering form on the floor forcing you to show him mercy.

The arm tightened, pulling you closer into Bradley’s body. His sweatshirt clad chest was inviting against your sweatshirt clad back. It was telling you to relax and just accept this new fate. The fate of being wrapped up in your best friend's arms, heart racing, hot breath against your neck. It was a truly tragic fate.

Time passed as you laid there, staring at the empty wall on the other side of the room. It’s blank canvas, oddly taunting you, not letting you forget about your current situation. The idea of checking your phone hadn’t even crossed your mind. You’d rather stay here in this comfortable, yet anxiety inducing scenario. It was obvious that Bradley hadn’t woken up yet or else why would he be spooning you, right?

All the cuddling on the couch was for his family, showing to them that you two were a couple. Amelia being the only one to catch on that you weren’t. Well, at least you hoped she was the only one for both of your sakes. You heard a soft murmur behind you, breaking your train of thought.

Bradley shifted closer to you, nuzzling his face into your back while pulling your midsection back. That was when you felt it. A heat crept into your cheeks, something sparking inside of you. A small rock of Bradley hips almost had a moan slipping from your lips. Your hand trailed up to your lips, covering your mouth to hide any sounds you might produce.

Soft sounds emanated from Bradley, your thighs squeezing together as you listened. A loop of excuses kept playing in your brain, telling you that what was happening was wrong but you couldn’t stop your thighs from tightening. It took everything inside of you not to rock back into him, for your and his sanity. But it wasn’t much longer before Bradley was stirring awake. A soft ‘hmm’ was all you heard, his arm loosening around you, then there was a light scramble.

“Oh my god.” That’s when you decided to put the intro to acting class to work. You played dumb, acting like you were asleep. After letting out a sleep noise, one you knew Bradley wouldn’t decipher, you rolled onto your back to look at him. You squint your eyes, putting on your best sleepy face.

“What?” Bradley sat up and scooted away from you, a small pang of hurt in your chest. A sheen of sweat coated his face, a rosy tint to his cheeks. His eyes met yours for a moment, only to be broken by him. Bradley threw the blankets off of him, scooting down to the end of the bed. This was not the reaction you were expecting.

“Bradley?” He stopped, hand resting on the door handle.

“I’ll be back.” Panic flooded through you as he left. Thoughts of your friendship being now ruined were playing on repeat. You knew Bradley was going to come back into the bedroom and tell you to leave, that he would book a flight home for you. There was no doubt about it. You just let your best friend rut against your ass, and didn’t stop it. Of course, your friendship would be ruined.

But it didn’t seem that way. Bradley had come back to the room, asking if he woke you and promptly apologizing. Then the day went on as normal, or what had become the normal for the both of you.

The two of you were laying out on the couch, Amelia hidden in her room, Mav sitting in the living room with you. Pete and Bradley were watching River Monsters on the TV, the size of the fish casually catching your attention every now and then. Your phone was mainly holding your attention as you rested your head on Bradley’s thigh. Every now and then he would peer down at you, raising his eyebrows with a light expression on his face. You couldn’t make out what it really meant, but you knew it wasn’t anything bad.

You looked back at your phone as the British man on the TV screen talked about the fish he was set after. That’s when a text notification flashed across the top of your screen. One from the group chat.

Dagger Squad, Jakey: tongiht fuckers

Dagger Squad, Javs: are you drunk already?

Dagger Squad, Reuben: Where?

Dagger Squad, Nat: Jake, you better not be

Dagger Squad, Jakey: one typo and everyone thinks you’re drunk

Dagger Squad, Jakey: i’m at work assholes

Dagger Squad, Jakey: except you Reuben, you’re not an asshole

Dagger Squad, Reuben: Thanks.

A chuckle left you, the sling of texts getting the better of you. Bradley noticed your laugh, giving you a questioning look. An amused huff left Bradley after you offered your phone to him.

“How could we not? He was notorious for showing up to 8am’s still drunk or hungover.” That caught Mav’s attention, him perking up like a puppy.

“Seresin?” Bradley nodded to Mav, you turning to look at Mav. It didn’t really surprise you that Mav knew of Jake. It surprised you that he knew what his tendencies were. “Wild kid.” Bradley let out a hearty laugh.

“That’s what you call it? Come on Mav, I’ve heard you call him much worse.” Mav smiled, a small nod barely noticeable. Bradley had told Mav all about Jake in college, the goods and bads.

“That’s what I’ll leave it at. Don’t want to say anything that gets me in trouble.”

“Like how he has an ego that could rival the size of Jupiter?” Mav caught your smirk, your words pulling a chuckle from him.

“Something like that.” It was true. Jake had a huge ego, it was apparent from the first moment you met him. He had just this aura about him that screamed ‘asshole with confidence’, even if the first part wasn’t fully true. Yes, he was an ass a lot of the time, but he did care deeply for all of you.

“Are you two going out tonight? With Jake?” Bradley’s lips bunched to one side of his mouth.

“Guess so.”

For a Tuesday night the bar was packed. Even though Natasha had argued for Midland Street bar hopping, everyone decided Frick’s was probably the better choice. They weren’t the spry young college kids they used to be. The idea of walking from bar to bar while stumbling wasn’t appealing to you, especially in the fifteen degree weather. Plus, the thirty minute drive to Frick’s was better than the forty-five to Midland Street.

Jake lightened up the minute he saw you and Bradley walk in. Jake stopped you for a moment, making you turn to show off your outfit. It wasn’t anything crazy, jeans and a cropped knit sweater. Natasha greeted Bradley immediately. Your face scrunched a little when Natasha pulled Bradley down, whispering something to him. The lighting wasn’t the best, but there was no mistaking the blush that crept up his neck.

“You two fuck yet?” Jake’s comment pulled you from your stare. You slapped his chest with the back of your hand, giving him a scowl.

“Jake, this is why nobody tells you anything.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, walking towards the table.

“People tell me things.” You rolled your eyes, grabbing the wrist of his hand that was dangling off your shoulder.

“Javy doesn’t count.” Jake feigned a hurt look at your teasing.

“But Javy is people.” You squeezed his wrist, chuckling at his joke. Javy appeared from the bathroom, reminding you of his rule to empty his bladder before drinking. Bradley and Natasha sat down across the table from you. This had to be the first time for the entire trip that Bradley wasn’t sitting next to you. There was a small ache in your chest, watching him scoot closer to the table across from you. Jake sitting next to you was fine, but it just wasn’t Bradley.

“Is Robert coming?” Jake asked.

“Yeah, Bob is coming.” You replied, seeing Natasha give a confirming nod.

“Mickey?” Another nod from Nat. “Good, getting those two to reply is like pulling teeth. Reuben even replies faster than them, and he never replies.” You rolled your eyes at Jake’s comment. Group chats weren’t Bob, Mickey, or Reuben’s thing. Hell, Bradley barely responded in the group chat either.

“What do I never do?” All of you turned to see Reuben, a long wool peacoat and scarf adorning him. That was one thing Reuben was always good at, dressing exceptionally well. You almost jumped out of your chair, hurrying around the table to hug him. It had been years since you saw Reuben. He wasn’t the best at keeping up with people, living in his own realm of existence. You were a little jealous of it, but it did supply you for satisfying reunions.

“Aye, and Payback is here!” Jake announced, getting out of his own chair to get a hug from Reuben. Reuben rolled his eyes at Jake’s nickname, one that he earned at university for always getting payback on Jake. Jake and Mickey were always trying to pull pranks on Reuben, trying to rile him up. To which Reuben reciprocated, pranking them in ten fold.

Reuben took his seat at the end of the table, knowing the free seat on your left was meant for Bob. There was a matching open seat across from it, free for Mickey.

“Yes, Mickey is coming. Class was running a bit late for him.” Sometimes you forgot that Mickey was a teacher. Not just a teacher, a professor. A professor of fine art to be precise. He taught at one of the local community colleges and recreation centers, teaching a few different types of art classes.

“You got an excuse for Bob?” Jake asked, earning an eye roll from Javy.

“Dude, this is the first time we’ve all seen each other in years. Why you being like this?” Javy questioned. You and everyone agreed, joining in on scorning Jake for his questioning manner.

“Excuse me for wanting to know when my friend gets here.” His hands moved up in a defensive manner. That was when the waitress came by, taking drink orders and checking everyone’s ID. Bradley was oddly quiet, making you wonder what was going on in his brain. What had Natasha whispered to him? He wasn’t nervous the entire thirty minute car ride, so why now?

About ten minutes passed before Bob and Mickey showed up, the both of them getting there at the same time. Bob quickly took his place next to you, Mickey sitting across from him. They both gave you these looks, ones that nobody else picked up on. They knew. They knew what had happened that morning.

A new group chat had been formed that morning. One of just the three of you. It started initially as a ‘I need to tell Mickey and Bob that Bradley was just dry humping me in his sleep and I didn’t do anything about it’ that turned into a ‘I think I might be in love with Bradley’. Bob and Mickey weren’t surprised by either thoughts. But now you were sitting at a table with them, the temptation of teasing you right in front of them. There was a small tension, one Reuben immediately picked up on.

“So.. how’s everyone been?” Reuben asked, wanting to keep the topic off the obvious. If Mickey knew anything, Reuben knew it too. Their connection started when they were roommates, only strengthening over time.

“Good! Kids are good too!” Javy didn’t have kids, he had students. He treated them as if they were his own, doting on all of them with an equal amount of care.

“Still don’t know how you put up with them.” Natasha said, sipping on her gin and tonic. Bradley smiled, agreeing with a nod.

“Well, I don’t get how you can stare at numbers all day.” Javy teased, sticking his tongue out at her.

“It’s not that hard.” Jake chimed in. Now it was your turn to join in the conversation.

“Says the engineer.” Jake rolled his eyes.

“What can I say,” Jake shrugged, “I’m special.” Jake grabbed his beer bottle for a long swig.

“If that’s what you want to call it.” Bradley said, earning giggles from everyone around the table.

That was how the night went. All of you catching up, discussing life and things you all had planned. The topic of what you and Bradley were editing came up, Reuben curious about what new books might hit the market soon. Bob had mentioned that he was doing something computer related, not wanting to explain and potentially confuse everyone. Apparently the private accounting business Natasha started earlier that year was booming; something you never thought could describe accounting.

Bradley’s gaze would occasionally fall on you throughout the night. While at the table they would flick from your eyes to your lips, every now and then settling on the exposed skin of your neck. His looks only became more frequent after a round of shots. That hazel gaze raking over your body once you all moved to the pool table. It only got worse when you would lean over to take your shot.

That morning had been a confirmation for Bradley, confirming his own feelings for you. It wasn’t a sudden thing, feelings he had been thinking about for a few weeks now. He was hoping this trip would just confirm you being his best friend. But that was not what happened. Every time he looked at you his heart swelled, constantly fighting the urge to press his lips to yours. Not to mention he was waking up almost every morning with a hard on because of dream you. So watching you bend over against the pool table, wiggle your hips slightly before taking your shot was painful. What was even more painful when a guy approached you at the bar.

You didn’t really remember when you finished off your last drink, or what drink you were even on. You finished the game of pool you were playing before getting a new one. Bradley had told you during the car ride there that he would only have one beer. Which he had already had, not that you were keeping count. You did count that he was on glass three of water though.

The bar wasn’t too crowded, just a handful of older men hanging out while having some type of whiskey you assumed. The bartender took your drink order, cracking the redbull for it and reaching for the cherry vodka. That was when someone creeped up beside you, waving at the bartender for the next order. An uncomfortable feeling settled over you, feeling a pair of eyes on you. A pair of unfamiliar eyes.

“Hey.” You looked at the guy next to you, awkwardly smiling and acknowledging him with a nod. You didn’t say anything though, hoping he would leave you be. “You look good.” That made your eyebrows knit together.

“Sorry, do I know you?”

“No, but I’d like to get to know you.” You could smell the alcohol on his breath, a grimace coursing through your body.

“No.” It was a simple word, one you figured would get the point across.

“Come on sweets, can’t yo-”

“She said no.” That familiar gruff voice was behind you. You weren’t sure when Bradley had appeared behind you, but you were more than happy about it.

“And who are you, buddy?” That question sparked something in Bradley, his nostrils flaring. Warmth wrapped around your waist, Bradley’s arm tugging you close to him.

“Boyfriend, now get the fuck out of here. She’s taken.” A shiver ran down your spine, a heat pooling between your thighs. Fuck, why did that make you so hot? It had to be the alcohol, not the fact Bradley was calling you his. Your hand rested against his chest, leaning into him to further his words into the stranger's brain. After the stranger left, you grabbed your drink from the bar. The warmth of Bradley’s arm never left you, even when you two walked towards the group.

It felt like you were vibrating when everyone saw you again. Everyone had giant smirks on their faces, Bob, Reuben, and Mickey whispering between each other. Jake’s smirk was shit-eating, full of a smugness you had shockingly never seen from him before. Javy nudged Nat with his elbow, both of their smirks were full of affection.

“Some asshole at the bar wouldn’t leave her alone.” Bradley stated when you two returned, the warmth of his arm disappeared. For the rest of the time Bradley fetched all of your drinks, from cider to shots. He was currently at the bar for a round of shots for you, Bob, Mickey, and Reuben.

“You two make quite the pair,” Reuben took a swig of his beer, “always have if I’m being honest.”

“And after this morning?” A heat filled you at Mickey’s words, a mix of the alcohol and embarrassment.

“Can we not talk about that?” Bob let out a chuckle.

“What? Worried he will find you were awake the whole time?”

“Oh, don’t act like a fucking saint Bob. We all know the shit you got up to in college.” Reuben and Mickey laughed, Bob’s eyebrows knitted together.

“No idea what you’re talking about.” An eye roll was all you gave him.

“So when do you two fly back?” Mickey asked. None of you noticed Bradley reappear, two shots in each hand. A part of you had forgotten that bartending is what he did to help pay his way through college.

“December thirty-first.” Bradley answered, setting the shots all down on the table. You passed him the water you had been guarding for him. The four of you with shots toasted, Bradley toasting his water cup to you all. The liquor burned as it traveled down your throat. You weren’t completely drunk, but there was definitely a thick haze wrapped around your mind.

“Just in time for New Years.” Reuben said, leaning back and wrapping his arm behind Mickey’s chair. A small staring contest had started between you and Bob, his blue eyes intense with knowing.

“Guess so.” A part of you knew Reuben’s words meant more than the obvious, but the last shot was already starting to catch up to you. The haze only got worse as the night went on. Natasha was fucking with Bradley at the dart board, teasing him after every shot. Jake, Javy, Mickey, and Reuben were all playing pool; teams of two which weren’t uncommon for them. Bob sat with you at the table, taking immediate notice to your zoning stare.

“Hey, hey.” Bob waved his hand, breaking your trance and grabbing your attention. The haze in your brain was more intense than you initially thought. A small smile was what you offered him. Bob let out a sigh.

“How you feelin’?” He adjusted his glasses. The chatter from the rest of the bar was mind numbing, starting to overwhelm your brain. A nausea started to settle in your stomach, bubbling into your throat. Your hands ran over your face, everything becoming too much all at once. The sounds. Your friends. The trip. Bradley.

After your hands loosened from your face your eyes caught him. His mustache twitching upwards as he held Natasha’s final dart high and out of reach. It was the same look you had watched him give Amelia during your snowball fight. Something feisty but full of warmth and care. Similar to what a big brother would give his sister. It made you think about all the looks that Bradley had given you over the trip.

They were nothing like the looks Amelia and Natasha got. Every time you had caught him looking at you there was a softness to his gaze. A type of adoration laced into it. It made you think if his look for you had always been like that. Not the goofy caring older brother look, but the one you only gave to lovers. The look that told you he would be there through thick and thin, never leaving your side when you needed him the most.

Everything was starting to make your head spin. Bob had concern written all over his face now. Your delayed response was really starting to stress him out.

“Water. Fresh air. I need it all.” Bob nodded, watching you start to struggle with getting your coat on. After that he wrapped an arm around your midsection, keeping you steady against his body. The two of you made it to the bar, getting a glass of water before heading outside. Bob held the glass of water until you two were outside, sitting on the smokers bench outside.

It didn’t surprise you that nobody was out here, it was fucking freezing. But the cold was refreshing, keeping the liquid fire coursing through your body at bay. Bob handed you the glass of water, watching as you took small sips. He ran a hand through his hair, adjusting his glasses briefly. A silence settled between the two of you, both of you watching each visible exhale.

“Why.” Bob looked at you, not sure whether you were actually asking a question or not.

“Why what?” The water in your glass was comforting, slightly warmer than the air surrounding you two.

“You know.” You turned your head a little, looking towards Bob. He did the same, giving you a melancholic look. “Feelings suck.” Bob let out a small huff, one that sounded amused.

“It's not a bad thing, liking him.” His friendly smile returned.

“I’m afraid it might be the ‘L’ word though.” You confessed.

“Lesbians?” You gave him a playful swat, almost spilling your water in the process. You were impressed that he would quote Scott Pilgrim at a time like this. “I know,” he clarified, “and I think you do. Maybe you have for a while.”

It was probably true. You had only thought of him as a friend for so long, it was hard to find the exact point you realized you cared for him more than that. All those late nights at the office and editing manuscripts together were starting to feel different. You wanted to say your feelings didn’t start til you were here, but that would be a lie. The double proof reads he offered you on manuscripts, the cups of coffee when you didn’t ask, even the way he lied about you being his girlfriend. It was all muddy and confusing, but it made you warm inside.

“Bob,” it was barely a whisper, “I don’t know what to do.” Tears pricked at your waterline, a frown forming on your lips. Bob wrapped an arm around you, letting you rest your head against his shoulder. He felt bad for you. It wasn’t because of the circumstances, it was because he knew that you truly didn’t know what to do.

“I think you should get some sleep, then figure out what to do.” You nodded, the material of his carhartt coat rough on your cheek. “Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out.”

Bob placed a kiss on the top of your head. He sat with you until you finished your glass of water. It was perfect timing really. Bob decided to go find Bradley, only for Bradley to walk outside in a slight panic. Relief flooded over him when he saw you with Bob, worried the asshole from earlier might have come back to find you.

Getting into the car was a bit of a challenge. Alcohol always made it harder to use your legs, balance becoming difficult. Bradley helped you though, Bob awkwardly standing to the side. Bob didn’t want to leave until he knew you were good. Bradley finished buckling up your seatbelt, closing the door before talking to Bob.

“Thanks man, I got really worried when I couldn’t find her.” Bob nodded, patting Bradley on the shoulder.

“Bradley,” Bob paused for a moment, “take good care of her. Nat’s told me, and I just, don’t hurt her.” Bradley nodded softly, not fully sure how to respond to Bob.

“Well, I don’t even kn-”

“She does. Trust me, she does.” Bob said. He patted Bradley’s shoulder one more time before heading back towards the bar.

Bradley slipped inside the car, looking over at your already sleeping form. A soft smile formed on his lips as he admired you. You looked so peaceful while drunk and asleep. He let out a sigh, chuckling quietly to himself. You made his heart ache in ways he never thought it could. Everything about you he adored, it had only taken some time for him to realize it. He twisted the ignition, figuring it was time to finally head home.

Bradley kept a watchful eye over you the entire ride home, checking periodically to see if you were waking up or not. But you never did, not until the final stop in the driveway. Even then it took a few minutes for you to stir. Bradley didn't mind that though, being able to admire you for a few more minutes.

"Are we home?" A sleepy haze was still casted over you, eyes not fully open and words raspy.You turned inward, on your side a little bit as you stared at him. It looked as though you were fighting to stay awake.

"Yeah." Bradley wished you would have slept a little longer, anything to prevent him from not being next to you. He turned towards you, watching as you leaned deeper into the seat of the car.

"I'm tired." Your voice was barely above a whisper.

"I know," Bradley smiled, "you slept the whole way here." You ran a hand over your face, yawning afterwards and closing your eyes. "How do you feel?" You shrugged.

"Just sleepy." You had never wanted to sleep in the passenger seat more than in that moment.

"Hey, hey, babe. Let's get inside, then you can sleep in a big warm bed, okay?" Bradley started to panic, thinking you had already fallen back asleep. The sleepy flutter of your eye lashes informed him otherwise. You nodded, unbuckling your seat belt and sitting up a little bit. Bradley watched you closely, unbuckling his own seat belt. “You good? Gonna throw up or anything?”

“No.” Another borderline whisper. Even though there was a thick mixture of sleep and alcohol coating your brain, it hung onto that one word. Babe. Bradley exiting the car and coming around to your side didn’t even register on your radar. Suddenly your door was opening, Bradley with a big warm smile staring at you. Why was he being like this? There was no one around to watch this fake arrangement currently, so why?

“Come on, babe. We gotta get you inside.” There it was again. Bradley wrapped an arm under your armpits, you placing one around his shoulders. It was awkward, him being taller than you, but you two made it work.

The two of you made your way slowly up the small driveway, to the steps leading to the door. Bradley quickly unlocked it, still holding onto you so you wouldn’t fall. It was like your legs were jello, barely supporting your weight without his help. You caught yourself onto the small bench in the foyer-like room, slumping back against the wall. Your eyes were trained on Bradley as he closed and locked the door.

“Haven’t been this drunk in awhile, huh?” He asked, taking his coat off and hanging it up. Slow-motion had taken over your brain, slowing your movements. You had never realized how hard it was to unzip a coat until that moment. Bradley watched you struggle for a moment, finding your struggle with the zipper a little adorable. He hadn’t seen you this drunk since college.

“Here, let me help you, babe.” That time something clicked in your brain. You let him take over on unzipping your coat, only for a jumbled question to exit you.

“Why.. Why do you keep sayin’ it?” Bradley’s face scrunched together. He was now kneeling in front of you, taking your boots off because he knew that’d be a task you couldn’t handle. At least in your current state.

“Keep saying what?” Bradley helped you up, holding you close to him until you were stable.

“There’s no one around.” He shook his head, still confused. He led you into the kitchen, headed towards the stairs. You tripped a little up the stairs, Bradley shifted your weight more onto him for the trip up the stairs.

“I’m still not sure what you’re talking about.” Bradley said, the two of you stumbling towards the bedroom. The wood floor under your feet felt slick, balance evading you due to the feeling. Just before getting to the bedroom, the slick sensation had you tumbling towards the wall. Bradley caught you from falling completely, pressing you into the wall with his body. The weight of his body on yours had your mind spinning. It was the first time you had fully opened your eyes since getting home. The mixture coating your brain was immediately gone, clarity appearing out of thin air.

Bradley’s eyes flicked down to your slightly parted lips. He wanted to kiss you so badly. It was like his mouth was salivating with need. His hazel eyes flicked back up to yours, taking in your wide eyes. Guilt immediately flooded over him, reminding himself of your current state and how this might come off.

“I- I’m just trying to hold you up.” Bradley stammered, pulling his body away from yours.

“I know.”

“I just don’t want you to think I’m trying to take advantage of you or anything.” Bradley suddenly felt nervousness bubble in his chest.

“Bradley,” you let out a long breath, “you keep calling me babe. Why? Nobody is around for the charade, so why?” You gestured to the empty hallway, emphasizing the nobody being there part of your sentence.

Bradley’s face scrunched together. He hadn’t noticed himself calling you babe, but looking back he definitely did. In the car, getting you out of the car, taking your boots off. He called you babe each time. He knew why, but he was now nervous to tell you.

“Habit.” He whispered. That whisper caught your attention. You narrowed your eyes at him, one of your hands creeping up to touch the black t-shirt under his flannel. The words were on the tip of your tongue, threatening to spill out. I love you. But instead your hand balled into a fist, pulling on the fabric of the shirt. You pushed off the wall, letting go of his shirt.

“Of course it was.” You said. Bradley raised an eyebrow, not sure what your response really meant. He remained silent though as you started walking towards the bedroom, one hand out against the wall for support. He stayed in the hallway for a moment, cursing himself for not just telling you the truth. He wanted you to be sober for that though, wanted to know you’d remember it. He knew you weren’t black out, but he didn’t want you to write it off as your imagination.

When he walked into the bedroom you were practically nude. Your sweater was off, jeans on the floor, currently struggling to get your bra off. Bradley quickly placed his hands on your hips, steadying you when you almost fell over. A gasp passed your lips, his searing hot hands on your skin. Bradley tried not to focus on the sensation of your panties barely touching the edge of his hands. His hands ghosted over your skin, finding their way to the clip of your bra. Your hands moved to the front of your chest, holding your breasts.

“Let me help you,” Bradley let out a shaky breath, “before you hurt yourself.” You nodded, feeling the strap of your bra loosen. Bradley quickly found your sleep shirt, standing behind you once more. You let your bra fall, covering your chest with your hands still. Bradley got the shirt over your head, moving the collar of it down around your neck. You grabbed at the hem of the shirt, pulling it down around your body and putting your arms through the short sleeves.

Then Bradley found your sweat pants. He kneeled down in front of you, his face level with your panties now. It took everything in Bradley not to press a kiss to your hip. Instead he guided each pant leg around your ankles, you putting a steady hand on his shoulder. Bradley was sure that his skin was going to have a mark, the warmth of your touch branding him for good. Marking him as yours and only yours. Your hand stayed on his shoulder as he stood up, trailing to the nap of his neck. He held back a gasp when he felt your finger lightly play with his hair.

This was the most intimate thing Bradley had ever experienced. Yeah, he had fucked people in the past, but this? Dressing his best friend that he also had feelings for? He wasn’t sure if he would ever experience anything like it ever again. It was so sweet and tender. Just like the look you were giving him.

“Sleep with me.” You whispered.

Bradley was a goner.

He nodded, helping you into bed before changing into his own clothes. You watched him change, eyes wandering all over his body. He crawled in the bed behind you, arm moving around your midsection. He pulled you tight against him, his chest flush with your back. You hummed lightly, basking in the warmth you had grown to love over the past few days.

Some remnants of alcohol were starting to affect you once again. Thoughts swirled in your brain, finally working up the courage. It wasn’t like you hadn’t told him it before, like when he brought you a surprise cup of coffee or paid for the late night take out. It would be different this time though.

“I love you.” Bradley almost didn’t hear the borderline whisper, but he did.

There was a pause, one that started to fill you with doubt and anxiety. A part of you wished to take it back. Wanting to have not fucked up your entire friendship. A hot breath appeared on your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. Bradley was leaning up towards your ear, wanting to make sure you heard every last word.

“I love you, too.”

Neither of you spoke about that night for the rest of the trip. There was a silent agreement established that night, Bradley sharing the bed with you. His makeshift bed was finally dismantled, and so did your denial of liking Bradley. After the drunken confession of your love, it was like a weight had been lifted off your chest. Bradley felt a similar sensation about saying it back.

Penny and Pete both said you were more than welcome to come back. Amelia had mentioned she noticed something had changed between the two of you, but didn’t elaborate. So, you didn’t tell her what had changed. But you were sad to leave them, knowing that they were the ones inadvertently protecting you from conversation that needed to be had.

But it never came. The entire car ride to the airport was almost a carbon copy of the previous drive. You got the GPS ready for Bradley then slept in the passenger seat. Bradley stole a few glances, trying to take as many mental pictures as possible. He was certain that whatever happened that night was a trip only occurrence. One he would never get the chance for ever again.

The airport was almost empty, most people out celebrating for the New Years. Bradley told you that was the exact reason he booked the flight for New Years Eve. A forlorn feeling hung between the both of you. It felt like this was the end of the road. Neither of you had the courage to ask what was to happen now. You wanted to ask, ask if the two of you would be going back to occasional outings and late nights at the office. As much as you wanted to know, a part of you didn’t want to. If you knew, it would be final.

Instead, you two only made small talk about the check in process. Casual jokes and borderline uncomfortable silences were exchanged before boarding. It was even worse on the plane. Bradley put his headphones in, flicking on a podcast to listen to while you curled up near the window. The rest of the flight was quick, the entire thing being only about two hours. The city that never slept had never felt more comforting when you got back. The drive from Queens to The Bronx was going to be long, the traffic of New Years in full swing.

Music filled the space of the car, the two of you barely talking. The lights of the city teased you through the window. It was like they were poking and prodding your brain. Snowflakes hit the window and windshield, melting on impact from the warmth of the car. A dread filled the both of you as Bradley got closer to your apartment. It felt as though these bottled up emotions would stay as just that. Bottled up and left on a shelf in the back of your hearts.

Even when Bradley pulled up to the curb, dropping you off, it was silent. Bradley stared straight forward, focused on the car parked in front of him. The sounds of your bags being pulled out of the car were clawing at his brain. They were the sound of his time running out. He could tell you at work on Tuesday, but maybe your feelings would be different by then. The closing on the backseat door pulled him out of his thoughts. You knocked on the window, gesturing for him to put it down.

“Thank you.” You smiled warmly. “It was fun, meeting your family and seeing everyone. I’m glad I was able to help.” Your brain was screaming to say the three words, hoping he wouldn’t have forgotten the first time you said them.

“Yeah, it was fun. Thanks for coming with and being my fake girlfriend.” Bradley wanted to kick himself as soon as he said it. He watched as your smile faded, giving him an affirming nod.

“I’m gonna head up now. I’ll see you at work?”

“Yeah, see you at work.” Bradley rolled the window up, watching you walk away. Your figure was altered by the droplets of melted snowflakes, making you seem more distant. Bradley felt a prickle at his waterline, knowing tears would be coming sooner or later. You opened the door for the stairway that led to your apartment, vanishing out of Bradley’s view. Bradley leaned back against the headrest, closing his eyes tightly.

Tears threatened to pour down your cheeks the entire walk up the stairs. For once you hated that you lived on the third floor. Hated that it gave you so much time to think about the day. All of the never ending silence. It was clear that there was something broken between the two of you. The relationship strained or shattered. You quickly slotted the key into the door, knowing that once you were in your apartment you would be okay. It would mean you were safe. Safe to let out all of your emotions.

But no tears fell once you crossed the threshold of your apartment. It was almost a numbing sensation instead. You slipped your coat off with ease, hanging it up by the door. The urge to put your suitcase and carry-on away disappeared. It wasn’t until you sat on the couch everything hit you. No sob wracked through you, only silent tears fell. The warm streaks heated your face, your lips turning into a small frown.

A knock at your door had you wiping away the tears. You had no idea why someone would be knocking on your door this late. After getting to the door you checked the peephole, seeing a rather worked up looking Bradley. Confusion coursed through your body, not sure why he would be back. He let you go, what did he want now? You unlocked the door, opening it to see Bradley’s eyes widen.

“Bradley, wha-” His hands cupped both sides of your face, smashing his lips against yours. You melted into the kiss, the hairs of his mustache lightly poking your upper lip. It was like something exploded inside of you, spurring you on to kiss him back.

The two of you made it into your apartment, Bradley kicking the door closed with his foot. You tried trailing for his lips when he pulled back from yours. Even though your lungs were burning for air, you wanted to feel more of him. His forehead pressed lightly against your own, hazel eyes boring into your own.

“I love you.” Hearing those three words from Bradley cracked the bottle, letting your emotions flow freely.

“I love you too.” A tear fell from the corner of your eye. Bradley swiped it away, pressing his lips to yours once again. A river of passion flowed freely between the two of you. Your arms trailed up to wrap around his neck and shoulders; one of his hands ghosting down to your waist, the other cupping your jaw still.

Teeth and tongue clashed while the two of you moved to the hallway of your apartment. The wall pressed into your back as Bradley pressed his hips into yours. A whine broke from you when you felt his semi-hard cock pressing into your hip. Wet kisses trailed down to your jaw and neck, the scratch of his mustache intoxicating. Bradley moaned against your skin when he felt you tug on the hair at the base of his head.

“I’ve been wanting this all trip. Kissing you like this, having you pressed against me like this.” Bradley whispered into your ear, nipping at your earlobe. He pulled back to look at you, still cupping your jaw. His thumb softly rubbed your cheek, “I love you so much.”

“Why didn’t you kiss me that night?” The question passed your lips before you could stop it. Bradley nuzzled into the side of your neck, pressing soft searing kisses to your skin.

“You were drunk.” Bradley slotted a leg between your thighs, rocking lightly to earn a moan from you.

“Why not any other night?” Your words were breathy.

“I didn’t know if you wanted it.” The hand on your jaw trailed down, cupping your breast over your knit sweater. Your hips bucked against his thigh, kisses trailing down your neck.

Both of his hands ghosted down to the bottom of your sweater, pulling it up over your body. Bradley marveled at the image before him. The person he had cared for for years looked so innocent before him. The soft pink bralette you wore enticed him, teasing him with what he could now have. It wasn’t until your arms pulled up to cover yourself slightly did his concern take over.

A part of you felt nervous, finally having Bradley like this. Letting him see you so bare and vulnerable for him. It wasn’t his first time seeing you like this, a few college run ins and the instance during the trip. But this was different. You were offering your body up to him, trusting him to please you and care for every inch of you. It was subconscious when you shied away.

“You do want this, right?” Bradley’s forefinger touched your chin, tilting your face. His hazel eyes were intoxicating and comforting. They let you know you were safe. You nodded.

“I do, I want you.” Bradley pressed a soft kiss to your lips, mustache prickling your upper lip lightly.

Strands of hair threaded through your fingers, you tugging softly to urge Bradley on.

Bradley picked up on it, hands ghosting down your sides to your hips. His tongue was soft on your lips, asking for permission to enter your mouth. His hips rocked into yours, you feeling his cock growing harder. Moans and whimpers fell from the both of you, rocking together while exploring each other's mouths. It felt like you were in high school again, the excitement of minimal contact vibrating through your body.

Your fingers moved downward, trailing at the bottom of Bradley’s own sweater. He caught onto the hint, moving his torso back from yours to pull his sweater and t-shirt off. Rough yet soft fingers ghosted over the band of your bralette. The material felt almost as soft as your skin to Bradley, his cock twitching at the thought. His fingers trailed the material up to the strap that rested on your left shoulder. He eased it down, kissing at your shoulder and collarbone.

“You’re so beautiful, so fucking beautiful.” The whisper on your skin sent goosebumps blossoming all over you. “I’ve been waiting so long for this.” Bradley’s fingers dipped below the band of your bralette, tugging up over your chest to expose your breasts. Your nipples were pert and eager for Bradley’s touch.

One of your hands went to his hair, tugging as he took one of your breasts into his mouth. Your back arched off the wall, pushing your breast flush with his mouth. Gasps fell from your lips as his other hand came to your other breast, fingers pinching and playing with your other nipple. Bradley groaned against your tit, the vibrations traveling to your cunt. Your insides tightened, pleading you for more.

“Bradley, please. I need more.” Bradley let your breast go from his mouth, pressing his hips tighter to yours. He rolled them, his cock rubbing at the apex of your thighs.

“Tell me, Tell me you want me.” A red flush had grown up Bradley’s chest, adorning his neck and cheeks now. Your free hand trailed down his chest, the need to just touch him too great.

“I want you to feel you,” the hand trailed up to his shoulder, “I want you to make love to me.”

Bradley couldn’t hold back the groan that escaped him. He smashed his lips into yours, hands cupping your breasts before traveling lower. He made quick work of the button on your jeans, messily shifting your pants down your thighs. A small giggle bubbled out of you as you chased his lips, not wanting the kiss to end.

He kneeled in front of you, easing your jeans off your legs. Small soft kisses littered the front of your thighs with the accompaniment of pricks from his mustache. Fingertips ghosted up the sides of your legs, gently guiding your panties down. The kisses traveled up your thighs to your hips, both of your hands diving into his hair. Two fingers ran through your folds, briefly touching that sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Fuck, Bradley.” Bradley pressed his mouth to your folds, flicking his tongue between them. Your body lurched over him slightly, whining as his tongue ravished your clit.

One of Bradley’s hands moved up to separate your folds, his tongue diving deeper between them. Small prickles of his mustache could be felt on your sensitive flesh, your fingers tightening in his hair at the feeling. The flicks of his tongue drove you crazy, a tense sensation in your abdomen forming. Your head fell back, moans pouring from your lips as Bradley continued his assault.

“Your tongue feels so good.” It was barely above a whisper, laced with a moan as your hips started to push towards his face.

Small ripples of pleasure coursed through you, adding to the imminent wave of pleasure that was about to crash over you. Bradley groaned against you, shaking his face back and forth on you. Bradley flattened his tongue, wiggling it back and forth across your clit. The motion was overwhelming, a shudder running through your body from it. You tried to pull him off of you, knowing if he kept it up you would be a goner. Bradley let you tug at his hair harshly, never budging from you.

The wave of pleasure you had been anticipating crashed over you. Intense pleasure flooded your system, making it hard to think. All you could do was roll your hips against Bradley's tongue. Your hands kept him pulled tightly on you, mustache digging into your folds. Bradley didn't mind, the image of you unraveling on his face had his cock twitching in his jeans. The sounds falling from you were angelic to him. An endless mantra of his name with moans mixed in.

"Brad-Bradley! Sto-stop!" Bradley finally pulled back, letting you get some much needed relief. There was a thin sheen to his mustache, the hallway light showing it at the right angles.

"That was so hot." Bradley stood up, kissing you gingerly. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in for an intense kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue, a small wetness prickling your upper lip.

One of your hands trailed down his chest, earning a groan from him. Only the fabric of his jeans and boxers separated the two of you. His jean clad hips rolled into your bare ones. You cupped him through his jeans, reminding you of his size. With one hand you unbuttoned his jeans, pushing your hand into his boxers. Bradley pulled back, resting his forehead against yours while letting out a loud groan.

"Fuck, babe, your hand feels so good." Feeling him praise you lightly sent a shudder through you, your insides clenching.

His cock was warm and velvety in your hand, pulsing and twitching with each stroke. Bradley's head drifted to your shoulder, lips haphazardly kissing at the skin. Your touch was intoxicating, his brain going fuzzy as your strokes continued. A tightness in his abdomen had started to form. One of his hands grabbed your wrist, pulling it from the inside of his boxers.

"As much as I'd love for you to continue, I need to be in you now." Bradley whispered against your skin. His words had you arching, nodding your head in agreement.

The thought of his hard cock opening you up, stretching you until you couldn't take it had you moaning. Your tits were pressed tightly against his chest as your lips collided once more. You pulled back from the kiss, taking his hand and leading him down the hallway to your bedroom. He rid himself of his jeans and boxers as soon as he got to your room. Bradley had you on the bed quickly, hands groping and massaging your sides. His lips ghosted over your skin as he slotted himself between your legs.

His cock rested against your folds, twitching every now and then. The two of you kissed, consuming everything the other had to offer. Bradley rolled his hips into yours. His cock pushed through your folds and rubbed against your clit. Your legs fell further apart, preparing yourself for the pleasure that was about to come. Bradley pulled back from you. Your eyes locked with his as he grabbed the base of his cock.

The head of his cock prodded at your entrance. Bradley watched your lashes flutter while he pushed into you. A gasp falling from your lips as he continued. Your gaze never broke his those. He watched your face as you took all of him, filling you to the hilt.

Once Bradley bottomed out, he started pressing kisses all over you. His hips were still as he littered you with kisses. Forehead, cheeks, neck, jaw, shoulders. All touched by the tender grace of his lips. Gentle roaming of his hands around your body kept you grounded in this reality. The two of you sat there for a few moments, him peppering your skin as your walls adjusted to his size. A kiss was pressed to your cheek before he pulled back to look down at you.

“Hey.” The word was barely above a whisper, one hand moving up to caress your cheek.

“Hey.” You whispered back, leaning up to kiss him. Bradley shifted his hips, pulling back a little before pushing back in.

It was a soft rocking pace he created. His hips slowly rolled, his hands moving to hike your legs up around his waist. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, hand threading through his hair as he nuzzled into you. Moans and whimpers poured from the both of you, an occasional whisper of each other’s name. His pace picked up, hips moving slightly faster and harder.

“You feel so good,” Bradley groaned, “I don’t know how long I’ll last.”

Every twitch of his cock you could feel. Your walls squeezed around him, earning a moan from the both of you. He slowed his thrusts for a moment, not wanting to come too soon. Bradley wanted this moment to last forever, even though he knew it wouldn’t. He stopped his thrusts completely, staying seated inside of you completely though. Bradley moved up to sit on his heels, looking down at you.

His gaze raked over you, moaning when he saw his cock pressed into you. One of his hands settled between your breasts, trailing down to your hips. His thrusts picked back up, the new angle hitting that sensitive spot inside of you. Your walls were clenched tightly around him, the both of you letting your heads drop back.

“If you do that one more time.” Bradley smirked as he looked down at you. You intentionally squeezed your walls around him, listening to the deep groan that emanated from his throat.

“Or what?” You playfully joked. Bradley’s hands coasted down your legs, grabbing your hips tightly.

“Or this.” Bradley almost pulled all the way out, his tip still inside of you. He rammed his hips forward, hitting that spot inside of you. Your back arched hard, an almost painful moan ripping from you. Bradley leaned back down over you, caging you in between his arms.

“I love you.” Bradley whispered, kissing your neck and nibbling on your earlobe.

“I love you, too.” Bradley kept up a softer pace, edging the both of you closer to your climaxes.

It was one of the most intense orgasms you had ever experienced. All your muscles tensing as pleasure rocked through your body once more. Emotions flowed from you, Bradley’s name filling the space around the two of you. You carded your fingers through Bradley’s hair, letting him know you had him. Bradley’s hips were stuttering, whines falling from the both of you as he came inside of you.

Hot breath beated against your neck as you two laid there. Bradley was still inside of you, laying on top of you as he regained his breath. You kept carding your fingers through his hair, almost a mindless action now. A shudder ran through you once Bradley shifted, propping himself up on his arm. His eyes were soft when he looked down at you.

“Hmm?” You questioned.

“Just looking at you.” Bradley said, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek. “Happy New Years.”

“Happy New Years.”

A whimper left you as he pulled out of you. A slick feeling replaced the new empty one, his cum dripping out of you. Bradley quickly hopped off the bed, heading to your bathroom to find a washcloth.

“I’m sorry, I should have pulled out.” Bradley apologized, handing the warm wet washcloth to you. You shrugged, taking it to clean yourself.

“As long as you buy the plan B.” Bradley smiled, nodding as he sat on the bed near you. He chewed at his bottom lip, nervous about the impending conversation. He had already put everything out on the floor. It was hard to take back ‘i love you’ while your entire dick was in someone. But it wasn’t like you hadn’t shared the same sentiment. You picked up on his nervousness though, reaching a hand out to touch his thigh.

You tossed the washcloth across the room, silently cheering when it made it into the basket. Bradley took notice, elbowing you softly. “Nice shot.”

“Thanks.” You stared at him for a little bit, taking in all of his features before speaking. “So, this?” You gestured between the two of you then scooted up the bed. Bradley laid back on the bed, you propping yourself up on your elbow next to him. Even though he was nervous, all he could think about was that you looked like an angel.

“I love you,” Bradley started, “but more than a friend.”

“Obviously, you goof.” You tried to keep a straight face, only to smile at him. “I love you, too. The trip really helped me see it.” Bradley nodded.

“I knew before the trip. Well, for me, I did. Why else would you think I’d buy you so much coffee?” You lightly smacked his chest, his hand catching your hand.

“I don’t know, maybe ‘cause you’re a good person.” You sat up, “I gotta pee.”

“I am a nice person!” Bradley shouted as you took off for the bathroom. He got up, finding his boxers and slipping them on.

He had been to your apartment many times, but only in your bedroom a few times. It was very you he noticed, now having the time to take it all in. There was a cork board on one wall. It was littered with pictures, ones from college and a few from the past few years. There was one specific one that stood out to him though. It was of the two of you, on that neither of you had taken. He had an arm wrapped around your shoulders as the two of you looked at one another. Must have been from an office party. It made him wonder if the two of you always looked like a couple to everyone.

“What?” Bradley looked at you, taking in your new clothed form. It was only a baggy t-shirt and underwear, but god did he find it beautiful.

“Just looking at these pictures. Wondering if we always looked this good together?” You bumped your shoulder into his arm playfully, looking at the same picture.

“What are you implying?” You knew the answer, surely you did. Bradley turned to you, cupping your face with one of his hands.

“I’m implying that I’d like to be in a relationship with you.” A flutter appeared in your chest when he pressed his forehead to yours.

“I think I’d like that, too.”

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kaedekolya · 2 months

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clarence and his counterparts: man or monster?

So we were talking about Clarence’s new android SSR (Faint Night Light) in the LBC discord server, and it got me thinking about the monster allusions that seem to be a common thread across Clarence’s main stories. Then we discussed the diary entries from his White Day event, and it occurred to me that this monster imagery also ties into his modern-day counterpart – and with that, this post was born.

In other words: is Clarence a man, a monster, or somewhere in between?

[ SPOILERS: Clarence’s main stories and Chrono Theatre diaries. This meta post is structured as story-specific sections, namely Godheim, Eden, and the modern world, so you can skip over the world(s) you haven't read yet. No Awakening spoilers, don't worry! ]

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Godheim: Archmage Clarence

First, let’s talk about Godheim Clarence. As the Archmage, he bears a heavy responsibility upon his shoulders – to oversee the Magi Tower, to fight the Glacial Butterflies, and, ultimately, to protect the country and its people.

In order to fulfil this duty that he has chosen to undertake, Clarence seals his heart and shuts others out. He denies his emotions, and resents himself for having these emotions, to the point that he disparages MC for “[acting] impetuously” and belittles her capabilities when she shows concern for Amelia’s wellbeing. Archmage Clarence’s impassivity is his shield against the emotions he views as a hindrance.

Yet he was not always this way. Clarence is a casualty of cruel circumstances, a tender soul torn apart by trauma. When MC is confronted with the truth of the mages’ magic, having witnessed a mage die before her very eyes, she notes that “[there] is no pain or compassion on Clarence’s face,” because “[this] is a sight he has seen all too many times before.” Decades of watching his fellow mages succumb to the Glacial Butterflies that nest inside them, and decades of having to end the lives of mutating mages under his purview, have conditioned Clarence into numbing his heart to such pain. How else could he have stayed sane, after a century of bearing witness to suffering wrought by his own hands?

Archmage Clarence’s disposition is initially described by MC as an “[icy] presence,” but this is the facade that he projects as a defence mechanism, not his genuine self. Clarence is so accustomed to the chill of the Glacial Butterflies within him that he has taken on the frost as a personality trait, believing that his frigidity defines him. He does not view himself as a human capable of warmth; instead, he thinks of himself as a mutant, as an icy monster.

Even so, Clarence cannot deny his innate inclination towards kindness. When he notices that Amelia isn’t feeling well, he tells her to sit in the carriage. When Amelia’s temperature drops, he casts a spell to warm the shivering child up, even as he grumbles that he’s wasting his time and magic. When Amelia’s death is imminent, he tries to send her off in the gentlest way possible, then grants her final wish by conjuring a connection to the water mirror. Clarence may insist that he does not care, but his actions reflect his compassion.

It is this very kindness that steers him towards a path of selfless sacrifice, for the sake of his country and its people. The life of a mage may have been forced upon him, by the man that gave a gravely injured child no other option but the potion that would transform him, yet Clarence learns to harness his power for good. He spends his youth eliminating Glacial Butterflies and protecting the village of the snow plains, and despite the harsh conditions of the path he now treads, he does not hold a grudge against the family that sold him off and thrived in the resulting profit. Instead, he returns to check on them from afar, and when an onslaught of Glacial Butterflies attack, he protects them with every last bit of energy within him.

Still, his family’s betrayal left an indelible mark on his psyche. Back when he’d been given the potion, he’d resolved to succumb to his injuries rather than drink it. Despite his instinctive desire to live, MC notes that his “will to live [had been] virtually non-existent,” because there is “[no] despair greater than being betrayed by your own family.” The young Clarence had not seen a reason to live, when his family had forsaken him. It is only when MC saves him, urging him to live on, that he resolves to survive and repay this debt. Each time MC encounters him in her voyage through time, he is on the verge of death, and each time, his dwindling will to live stems from his despair over those he could not save. What ultimately keeps him alive is the vow he swore to his saviour.

This characterisation is one that carries through his immortal lifespan. Clarence does not live for himself; he lives for others. Whether that means risking his life to defend a village, or sacrificing himself in a ritual to save the country’s inhabitants, the underlying premise is the same – Clarence lives for the person who saved him, and for the promise he made to them. He allows others to form negative opinions of him based on the assumptions they’ve made, in order to keep the secret of the ritual and the Glacial Butterflies from them, because their scorn towards him matters less than their safety. He closes himself off from others, never permitting them to reach out to him, because he cannot allow companionship and compassion to distract him from his purpose. He “[cannot] afford to be sentimental,” because he cannot have anyone or anything clouding his judgement. Better to be the enemy of the state that saves it, than the friend of the state that cannot do anything as it crumbles.

It is ironic, then, that Clarence’s devotion to his promise leads him from striving to live and fulfil it, to voluntarily dying for that same promise. His life, his existence itself, is secondary to the promise he has made. He will live to protect the world for his saviour, but if the only way to protect it is to die, then die he shall. Perhaps he views it as a penance of sorts, an atonement for the sins he’s committed. Perhaps he believes the new world would be better off without a monster like him.

For all his calculative callousness and stoic solitude, Clarence is deeply self-aware. Not only is he conscious of the suffering he inflicts and the ramifications of his actions, but he also ruminates upon his sins until they turn to guilt in his gut and self-loathing in the deepest recesses of his soul. He does not turn a blind eye to the pain he witnesses; instead, he looks it straight in the eye, internalises it, and forces himself to feel nothing at all.

Clarence may appear to have no qualms about exploiting people and reducing them to cogs in a plan greater than its constituent parts, but his interactions with Amelia prove otherwise. Right before he sends her off on what is meant to be a suicide mission, his carefully-crafted defenses slip, and he asks whether she hates him. Clarence believes that he has failed to live up to the Archmage’s title, that he has fallen short of being a “guiding force for all the mages” and a “protector.” He condemns himself for his callous strategies and merciless manipulation, since he has been treating people like chess pieces and “using them as [he sees] fit.” He disparages himself for “[standing] by on the sidelines, safe and sound.” He believes others hate him because he’s given them all the reasons to, because he deserves to be hated, because he, too, hates himself. All this while, he fails to recognise that he has taken on the greatest sacrifice of all – the burden of leadership, of decision-making, of being responsible for all the blood on his hands.

This downplaying of his own suffering, alongside his disregard of his own well-being, is what drives Clarence to self-sacrifice time and time again. When a theory about the Glacial Butterflies begins to take shape in his mind, he does not test it out on one of his mages, because he does not view them as expendable despite what he claims. Instead, he uses himself for his experiment, slicing his chest open and bearing the agonising pain in order to ascertain the truth of the magic within him.

On the verge of being overcome by the Glacial Butterflies, despite having prepared for this eventuality by shackling his limbs, he makes one last selfless request. “My Lord, you must kill me before I turn,” he entreats, willing to relinquish his own life for the safety of others. Even when Philip protects him from the Glacial Butterflies, refusing to kill him, Clarence believes that there is no place for him in the future that his Lord envisions.

Decades later, he still echoes this same sentiment. “There is no future without sacrifice,” he tells Lars, and he does not see himself as part of that future, does not see himself as deserving of that future. Archmage Clarence thinks of himself as a monster, not a man, and a monster is better off dead than alive.

It is a revelation, to him, that Amelia does not hate him. MC does not hate him. Lars, Alkaid, the mages that carry on the legacy of the Magi Tower, none of them hate him. They do not view him as a monster; they view him as a martyr, a protector, a saviour. Someone who did his best, and gave his all. Archmage Clarence leaves behind a legacy through his sacrifice, spurred by the human heart he still harbours deep within.

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Eden: Falcon Clarence

Next, we have the Falcon Clarence of Eden. The lone ranger of the desert, the mercenary that eliminates Sandswimmers with impeccable precision and works with no one else.

“A bait that only knows how to cry is a burden,” his mentor tells him, and Clarence internalises that into his cognitive framework and guiding compass. It is “the first lesson Liore taught [him];” that he must prove his worth in order to live. His scent lures the Sandswimmers to him, and so he must make himself useful by seeking out danger.

Valued only for his utility as bait, Clarence learns that his worth is determined by his fighting skills. With no other way to survive, he becomes a NEOS by fusing Sandswimmer gems into his body. Clarence pays the price of this acquired power through the gradual erosion of his memories, but that is far from the only thing he has lost. His decision to accept the integration of these foreign, beastly objects into his body has changed him irrevocably. He thinks of himself not as a human, but as a mutant being only one step away from becoming a monstrous Lost. Still, he endeavours to “remember [his] humanity,” because he refuses to become a “mere weapon [that knows] nothing but destruction.” Falcon Clarence understands that he is, by definition, a monster, but he refuses to relinquish the last shreds of his humanity.

In his first encounter with MC, he is rational and pragmatic as always, scrutinising her motives and seeing no reason to work together. Years of solitude, with no one else to depend on, have honed Clarence’s reflexes into an “instinct for self-defence.” Yet his reaction to MC’s request reveals that his solitude has been shaped by circumstance, not entirely by choice. When MC explains her reason for seeking out Eden, even though it does not sound particularly convincing, Clarence accepts it as sufficient and agrees to lead the way. Despite the potential risk of allowing a stranger close, he offers MC a ride on his motorcycle. Subsequently, he continues to help her out, defending the children’s shelter and giving her the gems he’d collected, even as he refuses to follow her any further.

Falcon Clarence claims that he works alone, but everything he does is for the sake of protecting others. He fights in the desert to protect the shelters from Sandswimmers, and he fights in Eden to protect Lin and the other NEOS from the Lost. He brings MC to the NEOS Association, so that she can rest for a night and learn essential skills from Lin. He knows that the night is dangerous, so despite his own preference for working alone, he ensures that MC has a community of protection around her.

Even as he dismisses everything and everyone else as burdens, his actions speak otherwise. Despite having met MC for only a single day, he offers his assistance to her time and time again, from rides on his motorcycle to filling water bottles with her. He could easily leave her to fend for herself, but he chooses not to leave her behind even when that would be the easier way out.

Perhaps the reason Clarence refuses to work with other people is that he’s afraid. Afraid of dragging them down, afraid of becoming their burden. He fears that history will repeat itself. He cannot bear to lose someone he cares for again, so he refrains from caring about anyone at all. Each time Clarence chastises others for being a hindrance, he is reproaching his past self for his inadequacy. Each time he risks his life to protect others, he is atoning for his failure to save his mentor.

MC says that she understands how Clarence feels, because “acting alone means nobody will be hurt because of [him].” In a way, acting alone also protects himself from being hurt. It is a defence mechanism born from his past, when he had to “learn to accept [his] losses” from a young age. He couldn’t afford to grieve Liore for long, not with the constant threat of the Sandswimmers, and so he could do nothing else but “live on with what memories [he] had left.” He’d forced himself to harden his heart to his emotions, but he could not suppress them entirely.

Clarence blames his moment of weakness, of emotional folly, for causing Liore’s death. It was her humanity, even in her final moments as a Lost, that held her back from killing him and caused her to die. He regrets his choice to this day, and perhaps it is this survivor’s guilt that pushes him to fight harder until he reaches the brink.

It is this same guilt, alongside his resolve to not lose anyone else he cares for, that drives him towards self-sacrifice. When he realises that MC needs a soul stone – his soul stone – to open the door within Central Control, he unflinchingly raises his gun to his head, as if it were the natural and logical decision to make. He is ready to offer his life without a moment’s hesitation, because that is the utility he can offer in this moment, in order to keep MC safe and help her achieve her goal. She has given him a reason to fight, and he will die trying to fulfil it.

Ultimately, it is his encounter with MC – and the companionship which blooms from it – that saves him. Without demanding anything in return, she cries for his pain, fights by his side, and shoulders his burdens with him. Clarence doubts his humanity, even as he holds fast to it, since he is all too cognisant of the monstrous traits within. In turn, MC’s unwavering trust reaffirms the humanity within him, reminding him that he is worthy of living.

Falcon Clarence may not be fully human on a biological level, and he may still succumb to the effects of the monsters within him from time to time, but he has managed to preserve his heart and his humanity. His tale is one of healing, of opening up, and of learning to value himself for who he is and not what he can do.

- ☽ -

Modern World: Clarence

Finally, let’s circle back to modern-day Clarence. At first glance, he’s the calm, collected, and capable Student Council president, who always seems to have affairs in order and circumstances under control.

Then, in his Chrono Theatre diary entries, we learn that he had a psychiatrist observing him from a young age, due to his gifted aptitude and exceptional intelligence beyond that of his peers. This revelation sparked a discussion in the LBC discord server, which spurred this message of mine that then became the basis for this meta post:

Clarence is well-versed in decorum, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it comes naturally to him. It’s likely that he learned social etiquette by picking it up from observing how other people behave, so he knows the appropriate responses to give and the socially-acceptable ways to carry himself. However, because this social understanding is not an innate trait but a learned one, there are often times when he doesn’t recognise the need for social niceties, and instead his instinctual response – founded on his internal logic – comes through.

One example of this can be found as early as his second interaction with MC, after she paints an artwork of him:

The polite thing to do would be to express interest in or appreciation of the finished product, regardless of one’s actual feelings towards it. However, Clarence “doesn’t show the slightest interest” in MC’s painting. Does this mean that he doesn’t care for it, and doesn’t see the need to put on a pretence? Quite the contrary. Instead, it’s because he thinks he doesn’t have anything useful to offer in response, and thus he stays silent.

Here, we see a disconnect between how Clarence understands the world, and how other people tend to view it. While most people would appreciate receiving praise or validation, Clarence doesn’t particularly see the need to receive either, and thus doesn’t immediately think of giving them to others. Rather, he takes a more pragmatic approach, focusing on utility; a piece of work deserves feedback for the effort poured into it. However, as a law major, he does not have sufficient knowledge or expertise regarding art. As such, he believes that his feedback would not be useful, and thus it is better not to say anything at all.

This ties into how Clarence views himself as his roles, and the functions he can serve. He understands that he has worth, but he evaluates this worth through his services as the Student Council president, or his contributions as a law intern. When he assists others, he doesn’t think of it as going out of his way to help them; instead, he views it as part of his rightful duty.

As a result, Clarence doesn’t view himself as simply “Clarence.” Rather, he thinks of himself as Clarence, the Student Council president; Clarence, an upperclassman; Clarence, a friend. If he can fulfil someone’s needs through a role that he holds, he will do it, even at the expense of himself.

We see this most prominently in Clarence’s “Break Time” R card story:

When the senior who’s supposed to interpret for an academic speaker falls ill and fails to attend, Clarence steps up to fill their shoes last-minute. William notes that Clarence can be counted on to show up whenever and wherever he’s needed, and MC agrees that he’s “the only one who’s up to the task.”

However, what most people don’t recognise are the sheer lengths Clarence will go to in order to fulfil his duties. On top of his regular responsibilities, filling in for the interpreter caused Clarence to “[burn] the midnight oil” preparing for the speech, and taking care of the sick speaker meant that Clarence could not sleep for two days. He doesn’t recognise that he’s constantly going above and beyond, because to him it’s a given, but he is in fact pushing himself past his limits, and past the line that most people would draw.

It’s interesting to examine MC’s thoughts here, because she interprets Clarence’s willingness to take a nap as a rational understanding that he needs to rest in order to keep functioning. However, this only happens after MC coaxes him into taking a break. If she hadn’t intervened, Clarence would have continued pushing himself until he completed his task – he was already at “the brink of collapse,” and he “only agreed to sleep after [MC] practically begged him to.” Clarence prioritises his responsibilities to the point that he does not recognise his own needs, and thus neglects to take care of himself.

Although modern Clarence doesn’t think of himself as different, or as anything less than a person, it’s evident that he views himself as the roles he fulfils rather than simply as who he is. In turn, this mindset is reflected in his behaviour, which then shapes other people’s perceptions of him. This is how Clarence becomes characterised as the aloof and intimidating Student Council president in the students’ eyes, even though he cares so deeply and helps out so much; most people are unable to look deeper and see Clarence as the person that he is, because he perceives and presents himself through the lens of his roles.

As such, other people often view Clarence as different from themselves – as if he’s operating on a different wavelength, or existing on a separate plane entirely. Modern Clarence’s genius sets him apart from his peers, but more than that, his perspective of himself winds up alienating himself from other people. Clarence views himself as like others, but others view him as unlike them. He blends in well enough, but he doesn’t quite fit in; he has a place in society, but he doesn’t quite belong.

- ☽ -

Clarence, across time and space

Out of all the Clarences thus far, modern Clarence is perhaps the most well-adjusted, and this reflects the importance of having a support system. Godheim Clarence and Eden Clarence were isolated from a young age and survived alone throughout most of their lives, whereas modern Clarence had family and friends around him. He may not have had the most conventional childhood, but he grew up with his older sister Jaclyn and his close friend Luca, and he also had his psychiatrist Ford observing and monitoring his development. Subsequently, after he enters St Shelter Academia, he gains a circle of friends he can rely on, such as William, O’Connor, and, of course, MC.

Expanding upon Clarence’s St Shelter Academia bonds, we see that Clarence has people around him who genuinely like him for who he is, and are willing to support him unconditionally. O’Connor affectionately refers to Clarence with a nickname – “Shi-kun” in the Japanese voiceover, or “Little Si Lan” in the Chinese one – and for all his devious teasing, it’s clear he looks out for his Student Council successor. As for William, he may whine about Clarence’s by-the-book discipline, but his clumsiness and complaints do not preclude him from helping out when needed. For all that Clarence often chastises William, he still relies on him to assist with Student Council matters, and he knows William is someone he can trust.

Compared to these two, MC is a relatively newer connection, but her bond with Clarence runs deep. Right off the bat, she’s able to meet him on his level and banter with him, and he lets down his guard enough to subtly tease her for trying to trick him. As their relationship develops, Clarence grows to trust her, sharing his inner thoughts and admitting his vulnerabilities. MC is a safe haven for him, and she understands him on a level deeper than most. While the other students may fear Clarence for his aloof disposition, or hesitate to approach him due to his detached rationality, MC sees the earnest sincerity woven into his actions and the warmth laced through his words. Others may think of him as an unfeeling robot or a terrifying monster, but MC loves him for the human that he is.

There’s a subtle but interesting juxtaposition here, in which Godheim Clarence and Eden Clarence – both possessing monstrous mutations within them – view themselves as monsters while most others do not, whereas modern Clarence – wholly human – views himself as human while most others do not. All three Clarences are keenly aware of what constitutes them, allowing this biological understanding to shape their perception of themselves, but they do not recognise that their actions paint a different picture to others.

Regardless of the world he inhabits, Clarence constantly straddles the line between man and monster. His selfless nature and dutiful diligence often lead him to self-sacrifice and superhuman feats, creating the illusion of a monster – but beneath this facade lies, always, the heart of a human.

- ☽ -

thank you for reading!♡

if you have any thoughts about this meta post, i'd love to hear them! responses are always welcome, and my ask box is open~

up next: android clarence, and the inevitability of tragedy. where is the line between human and machine? stay tuned for my thoughts on clarence's awakening main story!

#lovebrush chronicles meta #lovebrush chronicles #for all time #lbc #lbc spoilers #clarence clayden #lbc clarence #lovebrush clarence #godheim clarence #eden clarence #modern clarence #sol's meta musings

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