#(me tearing up) they are so fucking stupid
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laura & ashley & imogen & fearne in c3e80 or:
#critical role#ygifs#cr3#laura#ashley#imogen x fearne#imogearne#lauras like i'm here so imogen is flirting with fearne and i'm tearing out my hair like i want 2 study u but i keep tearing up the papers#the third gif being literally a pretty woman parallel maybe you can't take that from me#imogen flying over to touch her then going what the FUCK thats HOT like it's about how they’re just so dumb stupid with eachother#heres how fearne choosing to contact burn imogen for the highest damage means long con girlies /🤡
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#this looks so fucking stupid#i'm tearing up with laughter while posting this#critical role#cr2#cr c2#critrole#critrole memes#the mighty nein#m9#caleb widogast#veth brenatto#widobrave#cr memes#cr shitpost#courtesy of me#cr campaign three#crit role#critrole meme
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absolutely delicious flavour of edizzy is where theyre Actually Married but neither of them know it, while also being acutely aware of everything-
they celebrated 25 years of their matelotage. they are having sex on the regular. both of them think the other thinks their contract is purely for financial reasons and the sex is just fun + convenience.
#'hes just having sex with /me/ because he knows im not going to stab him in the back (literally)'#meanwhile theyre having the most tender schmoopy sex known to man because theyre both so fucking in love#(not 2 say anything abt the actual sex theyre having they can be as rough as they want itll still be tender because theyre having FEELINGS)#'of course we have a matlotage it'd be silly to not have a financial agreement when our lives are so entwined. whats mine is his'#and at the same time theyre celebrating anniversaries with blowout bashes and gifts and shit and just#theyre so fucking aware of their marriage but theyre SO STUPID about it#'but what if he doesnt like me like that' about the man whos slept next to him for decades#nyxtalks#ofmd#izzy hands#israel hands#edizzy#blackhands#anyway it ends when someone else finally points it out#classic steddyhands set up. eds talking about his relationship with izzy and stedes like 'youre married' 'yeah but not like that'#'absolutely yes like that edward- am i the other woman?????' and it takes a few days and a lot of convincing but they talk about it#and realise oh theyve been real actual married all their lives huh#que more fucking schmoopy sex. hand holding and tears and shit and maybe its a little cringe but its their wedding night ok ????????
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is this audio even relevant anymore idk i thought it fits them
#sara chidouin#keiji shinogi#kimi ga shine#your turn to die#yttd#animatic#hey so i’ve tried uploading this animatic but i don’t think anymore saw this because the file was fucked up????#i put my bLOOD SWEAT IN TEARS IN THIS STEAMING PIECE OF SHIT!!!#i want people to see this stupid thing….#my art#anyways They mean the World to me
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The Doctor / Me watching Doctor Who, like, once a season:
can't believe I keep falling for this. Even more so can't believe the doctor keeps falling for this.
#Fool me fool me twice and all that#No really tho. The number of times I've been here like oh hey funky new plot / villain#And then wip out one of those helmets. Show it's shadow. That god damn tear duct door in the what#Season 8 finale?#Now the season 10 finale????#Cue me flipping the table like oh lads not again#At least the daleks are like hey what up we're the daleks and we're here to fuck u up again#The cybermen keep sneaking up on ya#Or maybe I'm just stupid and it's obvious from the beginning#But then so is the doctor#Doctor who#doctor who memes#Cybermen
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truly at the end of the day its all about receiving validation
#<- was having a lot of fun drawing fat william till he stopped to think about what other people might think#<- very important that people like him just as much as i do#<- incredibly important (i love him so much and his character is so much more nuanced than the fandom ever gives him credit for#and he already gets shat on way too often by people who don't understand what they're talking about)#truly the amount of hate based around him being a murderer is insane. Brother he's not a real life murderer. he's not going to#come out of the screen and hurt you#I NEED PEOPLE TO AT LEAST LIKE HIM A LITTLE BIT *bursts into tears*#and i need validation#and getting people to simp for him and think oh hes hot 😳 is one of the easier and more entertaining ways to get nice comments#what i lack in skill and talent i can make up for in character design and suggestive subtext right?#ugh#i dunno it feels like the only way to get people to say sometjing nice about my art sometimes#don't get me wrong i adore drawing him slutty but. ougggghhhhhh#hope it doesnt sound like im implying he's less attractive if hes fat personally i think hes hot as fuck#its mostly about stupid ass conventionally attractive shit#and also that people get bullied for portraying him fat... That too#anyways#im normal again now#toxi.txt
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I’m about to vomit out a bunch of thoughts, and I’m not sure any of this is going to make sense by the end, but. I’ve been thinking a LOT about these three lines in RE4make:
“You haven’t changed. You just think you have.”
“You can’t save her. You can’t save anyone.”
“This time, it has to be different...”
I’ve seen people focus in on that Krauser line and tie it directly back to Sherry, which is cool! Even as recently as five years ago, people completely glossed over Sherry’s impact on Leon’s life, and it’s cool that the remakes have had people digging into his character and realizing “oh shit, literally everything that happens to him after RE2 is because of his paternal love for Sherry.”
But... Krauser’s line is about more than just her.
With the remake turning Krauser into Leon’s combat trainer, chances are he knows about everything that happened in Raccoon City. And I don’t mean, like. He read a government file. Leon probably told him.
In OG, Krauser and Leon have this exchange of dialogue:
Krauser: “What is it that you fight for, comrade?”
Leon: “My past, I suppose.”
Krauser: “Hmph. Umbrella.”
It was axed completely from the remake, because it doesn’t make sense for it to happen in the remake. If Krauser was Leon’s trainer, that question was probably asked very early in their relationship. And since they weren’t currently in a fight to the death, and because they weren’t already six years removed from Raccoon City, chances are, Leon’s answer was a bit more involved than just “my past.”
So, let’s back up a little bit. In RE2make, they basically turned Kendo into a completely different character. OG Kendo was literally just there to point a shotgun at Leon and/or Claire and then go “oh my bad you’re not a zombie” and hook them up with some guns before he gets eaten. In RE2make, he’s a desperate and terrified father just trying to spend his last few moments with his infected 6 or 7 year old daughter before she turns. After he shuts the door on Leon and Ada, Leon turns to Ada and says, “Protecting people like that is why I joined the force.”
But Leon doesn’t protect or save Kendo or his daughter. He doesn’t protect or save... anyone. Every single person that Leon comes into contact with and tries to save dies horrifically -- and some, he even has to kill, himself (Marvin Branaugh). The only people who make it out of Raccoon City alive are people who saved themselves (Claire and Ada).
Of course, there is Sherry. But Leon didn’t save Sherry; Claire did. ESPECIALLY in remake canon, since nearly all of Leon’s scenes with Sherry got severely shortened or removed completely in RE2make.
But then, when Claire entrusts Sherry to Leon’s care (on his own insistence, per her RE3 epilogue), he goes and fucks that up, too. Gets her kidnapped and held hostage indefinitely by the federal government, and the only thing he can do about it is do exactly as they say and just hope they keep their end of the bargain and not hurt her.
So, when Krauser says “You can’t save anyone,” he means anyone. Ever. And even up to that point in RE4... Leon got the two officers who drove him into town killed, and he watched Luis die a slow, agonizing death right in front of him. And then, past that point, Leon has to kill Krauser with his own hands. Then he watches Mike die.
Ashley is literally Leon’s first and only success story, up to this point in canon. (And even when you go all the way up to current-day canon, Ashley is one of... three? People? I can think of? Total? Who Leon actually saves?)
So, Leon saying, “This time, it has to be different,” he doesn’t just mean Sherry. He means Ada. He means Kendo. He means Marvin. He means the entirety of Raccoon City. He’s staring down a repeat of what happened back then, not in terms of the bioterror situation, but in terms of his own personal failures. His survivor’s guilt. He can’t handle the thought that he’ll be the only person to walk away again -- and he refuses to be.
And that’s why Ada’s line bothers me so fucking much.
I mean, first of all -- Ada, you haven’t seen this man in six years, and you’ve spent a total of like five minutes with him since meeting up with him again here, so how the fuck would you even know -- but even aside from that...
To be clear: she’s right.
But she’s also wrong.
Leon has changed -- to an extent. In RE2 (OG or remake), Leon honestly believed that if it was lawful, then it was also morally right. He doesn’t believe that anymore. There’s no more “letting the law sort it out” or trusting in the power of authority for him anymore. His moral compass has been boiled down to: “If you hurt or murder innocent people, you’re a fucking asshole, and I don’t really care who you are, I’ll kill you myself.”
RE2 Leon was willing to hear people out and give them an honest benefit of the doubt -- even Annette Birkin. RE4 Leon just tells people to shut the fuck up before opening fire.
RE2 Leon was honest and trusting to a fault, and he felt stronger as part of a team. RE4 Leon is suspicious almost to the point of paranoia, and he just wants to be left the fuck alone to do his job.
These are all things that were really important to who Leon was in Raccoon City, and they’re reasons why things turned out the way they did for him, back then.
But at the same time, Ada’s right in saying that, at the core of it all, Leon is still that kind-hearted, decent guy who just wants the good guys to win and the bad guys to lose. That’s why it hits him somewhere sensitive when Krauser says: “You can’t save anyone.”
It’s just that, now, the way he approaches it is different. His outlook on life in terms of his goals is different. His expectations for it have changed.
So, if Leon had been smarter/wittier, he absolutely could have turned it around on her and said: “No, I’ve definitely changed. You just think I haven’t.”
And not only would that sound threatening as fuck, he’d also be right. They both would be, at that point.
And for all of those major parts of him to have changed and still be facing down the possibility of failing every single person he comes across, especially Ashley...
"This time, it has to be different.”
And this time, it was.
#resident evil 4#leon kennedy#meta analysis#and it WOULDN'T have been different if leon hadn't changed#could you imagine how RE4 would've ended if leon was still his RE2 self and tried to apprehend krauser instead of killing him#or like give him a second chance#like 'i beat you now you can repent'#fucking LUL#that's how you fucking die comrade#unfortunately leon succeeding in RE4 also taught him to emotionally close himself off and push everyone away#classical conditioning and all that#but that's a separate post for a separate time#if they ever remake RE6 watch me clown honk my way through leon and sherry's fucked up relationship#claire goes to see sherry regularly and leon admits out loud he hasn't even spoken to her in at least 3 years#and then chokes up with tears when he finally sees her again#smfh he's so fucking stupid#leon if you can't cope with your trauma properly then just shut up and keep drinking god i can't stand you#one day i'll also write a big post about leon's suicidal ideation#today is not that day#but one day
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This is exactly how watching the fucjdjfkfb finale felt like .
#posted this on twitter before i fullt finished the finale but yeah is till ended up being right#i’m about to take a freezing cold bath to process the absolute TRAUMA this episode induced#BULB FUCKING DAMMIT .#i cannot believe i ended up shedding tears twice and almost pretty much thrice#over fuckifnshf FOOD PEOPLE#WHEN WILL THE MISERY END#dimension 20#the ravening war#see you in hell you stupid fruit ( ravwa )#ravwa spoilers#d20 ravening war#d20 ravwa#d20 spoilers#the ravening war spoilers#wnded up starting to genuinely disassociate unconsciously the exact moment before karna’s death#i had to rewind to figure out ehat the fuck i missed i’m so srs#karna solara you will always be important to me#I cannot remember my feelings about the fuckdifn death of Raphaniel at this moment in time Do Not ASK ME#karna solara#bishop raphaniel charlock#lady amangeaux epicée du peche#thane delissandro katzon#also i felt so consistently stressed for deli liekwbwhatr thehfudjf#Amangeaux you will always be important to me#I love these fucking scrumptious scoundrels
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just saw a heart wrenching art someone did of Leon khs in raccoon city no one attempt to reach me for 3-5 business WEEKS.
#THE ART WAS SO GOOD BUT DAWG COME ON#LIKE FUCK#tears springing to my eyes at four in the damn morning#me when I say idc:#(tears streaming down my face) I literally dgaf he’s stupid and not real I hate him actually#WAGGHHHHHHHHHHHH#no sorry this is fucking me up so bad IT WAS SO REALISTIC SND LIKE THE FUCKING MUSIC THEY CHOSE TOO FUCK MAN#yaps. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚#tw suicide mention#tw suicide
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A mutual reblogged a pr*ship post and their dni is now neutral. Unfallowed. Bolcked.
#see if i joke i don't CHOKE. on my tears. because this just keeps happening#i'm so scared to interact with mutuals for this exact reason#most i've made have either left me. became toxic over minor differences or become a degenerate.#which is sad because i really enjoyed this friend and all those friends before they or i cut ties#but this kind of shit is unforgivable to me. i've had bad experiences with a friend turning out to be a pr*shipper#everyone flocked to me to fix their traumas but i had talked to that person often. it hurt a lot. they harassed people who harassed them#i was only 15. and i was threatened but what the hell is a sheltered kid SUPPOSED to do back. i wasn't taught shit#people in their fucking 20's were trauma dumping to me in dms and sadly still go to me when they catch wind of this person-#'i need support' you need to get offline. please. just block and ignore. i'm tired.#i should not have had to be babysitting adults and older teens when i didn't know what half those words were at the time.#months ago i did something stupid when i was at my limit and mirrored the pettiness i saw. i was told i would drive someone to suicide.#over saying the person was a bit mean and bringing up some posts i thought they made#i did apologise when i got it wrong. but got threatened with the person possibly killing themselves in my inbox.#this person and the pr*ship person were famously at eachothers' throats#i do not stand by the pr*ship persons' actions. their opinions on the other person were honestly right though. the only thing i agree with.#once again i complain about proshits and gatekeeps. the two are almost as bad as eachother to me#or at least two awful sides that have affected me and my ability to make friends online.#so that's what this remined me of.
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peachy: so i'm in an anarchy battle, right, and my teammate's got the rainmaker, so i'm--
purple: teammate?
peachy: yeah...? y'know, four people to a team and all that?
purple: oh. i didn't know there were teams
peachy: what.
purple: i thought everyone was on their own. like eight or so ink colors on the field
peachy:
purple: ...isn't that what the anarchy part means?
peachy: we have to make out right now immediately
#hi ive had this idea for a comic floating around in my head but i have too much of an art backlog to get through first so here it is in text#(me tearing up) they are so fucking stupid#splatoon#cowposting#purple and peachy
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been playing bits and pieces of horizon forbidden west! game's pretty as hell
#horizon forbidden west#photo mode#my edits#yannow. it got me thinking too. the npc fidelity in this game is off the fucking shits. never seen anything like it#even secondary dialogues are leaving all the competition in the dust. it's an insane level of work#major burnout red flags for sure. but also maybe talking about engines as specialized tools instead of ubiquitous ones isn;t so bad?#i mean there's definitely trends. ramming down RPGs down frostbite's throat has never worked well#while decima is tearing up the open worlds and tech fidelity quotas like nbd even on prev gen#is it really about implementation at this point#maybe some engines just. work best for certain types of hard goals. and choosing that right is what matters#i pkayed this after ragnarok and that game looks embarassing next to hfw. and I'm not even saying it flippantly. I stand by what i've said#shorter games less scope lower fidelity etc. for healthier dev teams. but this can be a scalability tell tale? maybe using something#like decima can mean an easier time for a standard EA dev cycle *without* hitting these insane fidelity goals. just thinking out loud#cause forever salty about frostbite. probably wrong but hey! I am on a blogging website famous for its phobia of deeper contexts#or maybe playing as aloy gave me that stupid self confidence juice#the way she bulldozes into delicate foreign policies with nothing but her ego and hutzpah really proves that whiteness is alive and well#in whatever variant of post-post-apocalypse this story is set into. they better interrogate her issues cause otherwise this plot will like#fizzle out under the weight of her self-righteousness lmao
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to those of you who don't m.agpod this will not make sense but listen listen -
GLADIO : THE HUNT - manifesting as a man's primal strength, animal instinct, baring too sharp teeth and roaring with the mouth of a beast, a protective and possessive attachment to others, an affinity for tracking - hunting - finding, and the thrill of the chase.
IGNIS : THE EYE - manifesting as a gaze that never wavers until it does, ceaselessly watching, sensing the danger in others and the potential of what is to come, making connections that others do not, an avid need for knowledge, and plans upon plans.
PROMPTO : THE STRANGER - manifesting as being almost and not quite human, lack of self and wavering identity, being a monster underneath it all, the knowledge that your body isn't your own, uncanny valley, body horror, and the struggle to fit the mould of what you think you should be.
NOCTIS : THE END - manifesting as nightmares and dreams that haunt your waking hours, the uncaring and unstoppable cruelty of death, being born to die, sickness and illness but never death - for the world is not done with you, cataclysms and the ability to end them, sacrifice, and walking toward ones end.
#: OUT / LEV#brain buzzing brain buzz buzz#is iggy's cruel? yes. do i care? no - it fits#i considered spiral for a half second also web but NAH - although he could be web touched#prom destroys me it fits too well he's why i wrote this post honestly#gladi is so damn hunt coded it's stupid like bro fuck off with ur primal shit#and noct!!!!! i started thinking about it and teared up and had to take a second but he's the walking embodiment of the entity#tw: body horror#tw: death#mention of it so just in case
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People honest to fuck keep telling me "But Hamas WANTS this war/as many Palestinians to be killed as possible!"
And like.
??????
So we are now doing EXACTLY what we convinced ourselves some Evil Enemy Force is secretly or not so secretly wanting us to do - commit absolute atrocities and human rights violations en masse - because at least we're doing it for. what. To bring Peace and Democracy? Enlightened Western Values? Freedom from the Evil Enemy Force that DEMANDS we do exactly the brutality we're getting away with?????
What kind of logic system is this supposed to be???
"Every Muslim should come out and publicly Condemn Hamas, else they're basically Terrorists - oh but don't you see, Hamas WANTED us to bomb this NICU, they DEMANDED we leave these babies on ventilators to starve, suffocate and ROT surrounded by the things their now-also-dead parents brought them, HAMAS wants us to do all of this and so we obliged! All hail the Western Democracies and their endless pursuit of human rights and liberty!!!"
You lie to me that "we" are the bastion of humanity's human rights, but your definition of "human" doesn't include even NICU babies if they are inconvenient (and don't fall under your definition of "Western").
Fuck all of this.
"Hamas wants this, so that's what we should do. Oh but anyone criticising this bombing campaign in any way is Hamas AND A TERRORIST!!! MORE BOMBS!!!"
#fuck the entire system#i feel so so so so so so fucking stupid#germany is on the forefront of course in hopes of magically making the crime of the holocaust go away#by trying to pass it onto whoever is convenient#the conspiracy theory that ACTUALLY 'The Arabs' MADE nazi germany carry out the holocaust is spreading#insane shit just insane just absolutely bloodthirsty monstrous#no our grandparents and great grandparents and people who are still alive very much thought the holocaust was a good idea#you can't wash this from your family history by murdering Palestinian preemies now#for western democracy of course#despicable#german guilt#palestine genocide#'hamas made me do it!' you are a joke#but a dark and murderous one#all bombing of civilians always is bad and you will never convince me that one atrocity against humans gets justified by another#in 10 years time when crocodile tears roll and this is rightfully treated as a murder campaign against millions of people based on culture#i hope you'll be haunted by their shadow telling you 'you knew and you were complicit'#we are all complicit#favoured in the world order again that we made up by might is right#western supremacy bullshit#genocide
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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to the day my brain was literally rewired and my gender was being changed by the second SO HERES A GAS STATION SPECIAL before this joint was even a gas station in the FIRST PLACE !!!!
FUCKING FREAK
#kommento#// theres a whole love letter in here dont open these tags it's a readmore equivalent#p4#⛽️🌫#moel gas station attendant#tohru adachi#boot.tingting#arttag#// sneak peak before the manager became a manager and only put the uniform on to see how well it would fit and hasnt taken it off since.#// im tearing up because i hate how it's been three years and also i cant find the other notebook so i went through gphotos instead#// also that i miss blorbo so much i miss my old self so much she was so sweet and genuine and the passion and love and everything#// STUPID SEQUENCE OF PHOTOS the way my brain was so fucking rearranged i had to get up and make memes and take screenshots and then#// draw then COME BACK AGAIN to watch the thing that changed my life forever. AGAIN#// sorry was having technical difficluties in yokohama im back istok im normal (affirmation )#// this is literally all me before i started thinking about myself and wondering about my gender then the dysphoria came rushing in like#// some freshwater spring about to make a waterfall and i had to let it settle and get used to the ecosystem with two more years#// took a month where p4gsteam was booted up and i made my own save at some point and finished it on july 8#// clasped my hands and had a honeymoon period over. mimi <3 then the day after rolled around and i watched the .chair car adventure#// literally my first p4 doodles were mimi and adachi theres no fucking denying it theyre the og. theyve been with me from the start#// theyre so important to me theyre so personal they made me who i am thats why im so mad with the community i have to share them with#// because theyre all so different from me and i took that personally#// IT'S KOKAY !! look at how far ive gone. this is the biggest archival effort ive ever done my entire life ive grown branches#// farther than ive done before ive put such a variety of skills to use just to make myself food and manage this damn station#// and keep some sort of love alive which was all from me and is still from ME !!!#// crying while writing these tags now sorry okyakusan i'll clean it up soon#// these doodles really explaining my mindset from the start and how the grindset has never really changed at all#// it was all friendship for three years and still will be i love adachi i love gas station attendant so much THERE I'M SAYING IT#// cherry on top friend just dm'd me to get an actual job at a gas station IM SHITTING MYSELF#// happy anniversary to my genderest best friend and the most problematic uncle ive ever had#// we're all holding hands and theyre treating me to topsicles because it's all i could ever shamelessly want
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.
#the sun went down at 4 pm and I am once again having an existential crisis#I went to a bookstore and saw stupid romance book covers and started thinking about how I’m probably gonna ‘die alone’#whatever the fuck that means#I don’t KNOW okay I don’t know if I’m aromantic or just too traumatized and avoidant to be capable of intimacy. but I have no friends and#I’m lonely as fuck#and I don’t want to date but I want someone to be committed to me and I want someone to fuck but I don’t trust people and I#am pretty sure if I fucked someone I would burst into tears bc of how long its been since I’ve been touched#I want a family. like that is one thing I know for sure I don’t know exactly what that even means or looks like#but I want a FAMILY. and not the one I was born with#I don’t mean kids I mwan commitment and fucking. People#and the universe is not on my fucking side girl. she’s not I don’t care what you say#I thought I had a found family in college and look where that is now. dust#and I’m 25 years old#and I’m missing so many milestones#and maybe it doesn’t matter maybe dating and fucking do not give you worth yeah yeah okay#but this is not the life I thought I would have at this age. and I feel like I should be entitled to grieve that#not like I want to. I want to be normal and I want to be over it.#to be perfectly fucking honest. I wish I could wake up tomorrow#and fall in love with someone and have a boring normal happily ever after.#I wish I could be the person who’s capable of that and I know that’s a naive and childish and unwoke desire to have#but I’m just being so real with you chief. I do not know how to live in this world being who I am.#and I don’t want to fucking be alone.#not because it makes me less worthy but because I’m just fucking sick of being lonely. okay.#anyway. I’m probably deleting this#p
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