#(i know i promised i’d name the sheep but i never got there lol sorry!!!) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mediumtires · 1 year

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i'm rereading copper and wool and did you ever say what christians anniversary gift was for toto 🤔

okay okay SO! this is so funny, a few weeks ago the first person ever (shoutout to FallingStar on ao3) actually guessed right! it's sheep! to me it was so obvious (copper and wool etc) but looking back now, it really wasn't. so christian's anniversary gift is sheep lol.

when i wrote it i was actually planning a tiny little sequel but I abandoned it and now it's collecting dust on my desktop. that being said, i’ll put it here (unbeta-d first draft) for those who might want to read it!

“No. No chance.” “C’mon, be a good sport.” “Nein,” Toto says, trying hard to hide his smirk. “I will not let you blindfold me.”

“What if I were to take you upstairs?” “Are you?” “No.” “Then no,” Toto laughs, a little exasperated, and tries to pull away from Christian’s insisting hands.

“C’mon, darling,” Christian tries again, a wide grin lighting up his features. “You know it’s the standard protocol for surprises.”

“I don’t trust you,” Toto just says and turns away from Christian and the tie in his hands to put the water filter back in the fridge. “Fuck you.” Christian laughs in retaliation and swats the tie at him. “At least close your eyes then.”

Toto sighs heavily and turns back to Christian, propping one hand up on the kitchen counter. “Are you serious?” “Entirely.” Christian knows he’s won when Toto sighs once more in exasperation and rakes a hand through his hair.

“But don’t make me fall,” he instructs. “Or walk me into things. I’m very important.” Christian rolls his eyes. “I know you are. Now, c’mon. Close your eyes. We don’t have all day.” “We don’t?”

But Toto does close his eyes after all and stretches his hands out to curl them around Christian’s hips. As Christian starts walking, he says, “Y’know, if you would’ve gone for the tie, I might’ve taken you to the bedroom after.”

Toto snorts. “If you want me to tie you up and blindfold you, just ask,” he offers with a devilish little smirk and Christian is glad he’s got his eyes closed. Something to consider. “Maybe later.” He’s aiming for nonchalant, but he knows Toto sees right through him anyway.

When they step out onto the patio, Toto pulls up his shoulders and frowns. “Are we outside?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Can you not just let me do this for five minutes?” Christian asks, exasperated. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

Toto does shut up after that, but it’s mainly because he’s concentrating hard on not tripping and falling when trailing after Christian.

It’s been a few days since their return from Miami and this is the first lull in both their schedules, both of them home early, so frankly, Christian saw an opportunity and took it. Not that he thinks it would have made a huge difference to wait another day or two. Toto hasn’t set a foot anywhere but the chicken coop in a good week, so the probability of him finding out about this is hilariously low. It does make Christian question the whole idea somewhat, but it’s too late now anyway. Still, the Carrera on his left wrist weighs a little heavier than usual.

Toto trips once they reach the gravel path leading further into the grounds and digs his hands into the fleshy bit of Christian’s hips to catch himself. He grunts, stumbles, and Christian can’t help but crack a laugh. “Careful there,” he offers. “Gravel.” He pats Toto’s left hand and then keeps his palm there.

“You are supposed to guide me,” Toto complains, and he already sounds like he’s enjoying this much less than only a minute ago. “You are making me fall on purpose.”

“I’m not.” Christian rolls his eyes towards the sky but keeps moving. “Not everything I do is to antagonise you, darling. Now stop whining.”

Toto does not stop whining because of course he doesn’t. He’s very vocal about how stupid this whole thing is all the way past the chickens, the goats and the donkeys, the pen closest to the house, past their two old ponies, Jacky and Jim, which they had adopted on a whim from the farmer up the road.

For a moment, Christian is contemplating whether he should just push Toto into the pond to humble him. A while ago a bunch of ducks moved in and don’t seem to want to leave again. Christian has grown quite fond of them. More often than not he finds them with the chickens now or waddling around the farm.

“Are we—Is that ducks? Is that the ducks?” Toto has picked up on the distinct flapping of their wings, affronted at the unusual intrusion of their privacy. Christian chuckles at the drake side eying them and pulls Toto further down the path towards the folding. It’s the one attached to the barn at the outskirts of their main property, and Christian had chosen it mainly because it was the one Toto would be least likely to walk into unprompted.

“Almost there,” he says and takes one of Toto’s hands in his so navigating the uneven grounds becomes a little easier. “Should have put on wellies,” he ponders, as he eyes the meadow, the grass long and wet. It’s perfect for the sheep but not exactly ideal for Toto’s dress shoes. They’re Italian leather.

“What?” Toto makes a sound as the damp grass hits his ankles and Christian’s smirk widens. “Christian, you should’ve told me! My boots were right there! These are Italian leather!”

He knows. “I know.” He pulls Toto along. Surprisingly, despite his bitching and moaning, he keeps his eyes closed. “Might have to throw them out later. Shame.” He’ll make sure to keep Toto out here long enough for them to be soaked through and ruined.

Toto makes another sound, displeased, but Christian can see how hard he’s trying to bite down on his exasperated amusement. Toto’s about to throw a comment back at him when a loud “Baaaaa” cuts him off. “What was that?” Toto pulls himself up a little taller. The sheep must’ve spotted them because there’s another string of agreeable bleating. “Christian, what is that?”

They stop at the fence and Toto, still with his eyes closed, sways a little, gripping Christian’s hand to regain his balance. “Christian.”

“Jesus, yes.” Now that he’s looking at the flock of sheep, all huddled together and warily observing Christian and Toto at the fence, he’s not sure if this wasn’t a silly idea.

He’d come up with it when Toto had one night jokingly suggested they should get sheep.

“Sheep?” “Yeah.” “Do you know how much bloody work sheep are, darling? We can barely keep up with the animals we’ve collected so far! We’re lucky we’ve got Johnny to help us out.” Toto had just laughed and kissed his shoulder and let it go, but then, on a trip to Austria last year, Toto had told him how he’d seen a herd of very specific Austrian sheep every time he’d visited his gran in the countryside and how they reminded him of the better times of his childhood. When Christian started thinking about potential anniversary gifts, it was too perfect to just let go. He couldn’t for the life of him remember the breed Toto had mentioned, but the more he’d looked into it, the more he’d realised that while Austrian sheep are very durable and sturdy, they would probably do less well in the mellow British countryside of Oxfordshire, and so he’d decided on British breeds instead. In the end, he’d just gone for one that looked adorable and was easy enough to maintain. With the accumulation of random animals they already had running around the farm, it wouldn’t make much of a difference anyway. They wouldn’t be using them for wool farming or that, so might as well have them be nice to look at.

The longer he looks at them now, Toto impatient at his side, still holding his hand, the heavier the watch on his wrist feels. Christian isn’t one for huge gestures or anniversary gifts, but somehow things this year felt different. It hasn’t even been a year since Singapore. It still follows them around, the consequences of that day, shadowy and washed out, but he can still feel it, and so can Toto. Christian is just glad they’re still here. They made it to seven years, and beyond, and for whatever bloody reason he thought a flock of seven sheep would be ideal to celebrate an anniversary centred around wool.

“Christian, there’s water in my shoes,” Toto informs him, and Christian turns his head and grins at his city husband, still blind, the corners of his mouth tweaked down.

“That’s a shame,” he says, “You can open your eyes now.”

Toto does so immediately. He blinks, frowns up at the grey sky, rubs at his eyes with the hand that isn’t still holding Christian’s. Christian lets go to lean against the wooden fence instead.

There is a brief pause. Then, “Christian?” “Yes, darling.” “What am I looking at.” Christian turns to Toto with his eyebrows twitching. As if it wasn’t obvious. “Your anniversary gift!” Toto’s eyes go a little wider as he looks back at the flock of sheep, a huddle of white fleece and black eyes. “What?”

“I told you, your gift was waiting at home.”

“You got me… sheep?”

“Well, us, I guess. But yeah.”

“Seven sheep?”

“Well, first of all, Johnny said no less than five.” Christian is getting a little flustered now and so he blusters on in full pretentious confidence of a Formula 1 team principal defending a Max overtake that no one in good conscience should defend. “And so I wanted to get six, but then I thought, well that doesn’t make any sense, does it, when it’s our seven year anniversary and the theme I’m going with is wool. So I got seven. And they’re a family! The two little ones were only born a few weeks ago. I didn’t want to take them from their mothers.” He pulls his shoulders down a little to straighten his back and keeps looking at the sheep to avoid having to look at his husband. “Plus, you were banging on about wanting sheep.”

“You remembered that? That was ages ago.”

“So?”

“Christian.” Toto’s voice is soft in a way it only ever is when he’s about to say something disarming. “Darling. I—” And then he just wraps himself around Christian from behind, chin hooked over his shoulder and nosing Christian’s cheek. “You said they are too much work.”

“Well, you said you wanted them so—” “How do you manage to outdo me every time?” Toto’s voice is awfully quiet. “I really thought I nailed it this year.” Christian breathes a laugh, half of it in relief that he, against better judgement, didn’t mess this up. “You know I love my watch,” he tells Toto, fingers brushing the warmed leather hugging his wrist. “And this isn’t a competition. You got copper, I got wool. Sorted.”

“I can’t believe you got me sheep,” Toto says again. His voice is a little higher than usual, his accent catching on the vowels, making the words come out hitched.

“Well, look,” Christian grabs one of the large hands wrapped around his torso and covers it with his own. “It’s not just—Sure, you said you wanted sheep, but—Look, I know you’re not a farm boy, okay? You’re very much a child from the city and I know you say you love our home, but I want you to feel it, too, I want you to feel at home here and not just come along for the ride and agree to everything I say. Especially after last year, I want this place to be our sanctuary, and if it takes bloody sheep because you said you wanted them, then so be it. There’s your sheep.”

Toto’s smile widens, Christian can feel it pressed to his cheek, and he can feel the pleased little hum too, reverberating down his spine. Toto’s hold around him tightens fractionally. “I feel very at home, darling. You know that, ja? I don’t need sheep for that. Mostly I need you.”

Christian closes his eyes on a deep breath, and sinking further into Toto’s chest he says, “We can put them with the rest of the lot soon. They’ll need another few days or so, until they’re settled in, and then we can move them in with the others.”

“We’ll need a sheep dog now.”

Christian barks a laugh, lets his head thump against Toto’s shoulder in defeat. “Yeah, no, Bernie and Flav won’t do, will they? Lazy little buggers.” “It’s because you feed them at the table.” “Hey, you started that! Flav, with those puppy eyes and you just—Don’t think I don’t know you cut him up steak when I’m not looking!” Toto’s silent laughter comes in short puffs of breath against the skin of Christian’s neck. “No no no no,” he feels the need to clarify even though they both know it’s the truth. “You feed them too, don’t lie.” Christian tries to stifle a smirk. “They are a tad overweight, aren’t they?” “The vet said, last time,” Toto reminds him. “We need to work them harder, or cut out the food.” Christian hums. “It might be time for a third. A puppy will work them alright.” He coughs a laugh, already regretting this, and adds, “Might as well get a cow or two while we’re at it. Not like it matters now.”

“What are we going to call them?” Toto suddenly asks, lifting his chin from Christian’s shoulder to regard the sheep more closely.

“Well, we gotta stick to the theme.” Christian’s mouth lifts into a smirk. “So you better get creative.”

“It’s my turn, isn’t it?” Toto asks. “My sheep, my turn.” “Toto, I swear, if you’re going to name them something stupid—” “You named the donkeys and now I have to call them Max and Daniel!” Christian’s protest dissipates into thin air. “Well, it works, they’re good names.” “Yes, and now it’s my turn.” “Just remember, it’s mostly ewes. One ram, the big one, the rest is ewes, and the two lambs are one of each.” “…ewes?” “Female sheep, darling. So I want no Lewis running around, or George, or whoever you’re already thinking of.” “No,” Toto hums thoughtfully. “Lewis is a goat, not a sheep.”

It's so stupid, it has Christian crack a well-earned laugh.

And bonus (cause I couldn’t work this in):

“You know, they’re like… designer sheep.” “They’re what? Designer sheep?” “Yeah, well, look, we’re not going to use them for breeding, or wool, or meat, are we, so they’re… you know. Nice to look at. Sheep we can keep as pets, more or less. They’re still a durable breed, just. Also nice to look at.”

Toto laughs at him for an hour after that.

Here are said sheep!

“They look a little like donkeys, don’t they?” “You think?” “Ja.” “Well, they’re not, they’re sheep. Kerry Hill.” “Kerry who? Have you named them already?” “What? No, that’s the breed, darling. They’re Kerry Hill sheep. They’re from Wales.” “So basically foreigners, yes? We should give them foreign names. International.” Toto grins at him, then he adds, “We should give them German names you can’t pronounce.”

#this is so stupid lol #this is literally just a rough first draft so bear with #it’s the same twenty words i always use #i have no idea if this even makes sense. probably not i won’t lie i skimmed it once and shrugged #also i know fuck all about farming ok #don’t come for me i don’t know the difference between a hen house and a chicken coop it’s the same to me #and!#shoutout to FallingStar on ao3! they’re the only one who figured it out!!!#(i know i promised i’d name the sheep but i never got there lol sorry!!!)#also i can’t quite remember but i think discord saw this first? it was ages ago but sending love <3<3<3 #toto wolff #christian horner #seven years #christian/toto

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square-blunt · 3 years

Text

Even though you're never there I didn't feel you disappear.

WOOOOOOOOO I HAVE NOT SLEPT IN THREE DAYS LET'S FUCKING GO WITH A MUMZA & MR. TOMMY DANGER CAREFUL KRAKEN INNIT FIC WITH A THEMES OF REGRET AND CLOSURE WIHT A SPECIAL APPEARANCE FROM HAPPY GHOSTBUR AND FRIEND BC WILBUR SOOT CAN SUCK MY FUCKING DICK LETS FUCKING GO

Tw- a slight bit of a panic attack, but it doesn't last long at all, only a line or two, uh, death mention, Tommy's normal 'I love women' humor, I've taken the liberty to add some of my own hc about how this whole thing works and it's better than what ever Soot (derogatory) could come up with bc i say so. Wc: 4200 (lmfao 420 lol haha) AO3: here

Tommy regrets a lot of things. He doesn’t realize how much until he’s walking back from the hotel one cold, windy night. Nothing he would admit, oh no, he would never do that. It was only a way for people to target him more.

‘Talk less, smile more,’ Wilbur would say, ‘everything you say can be used by our enemies.’ And Tommy took that to heart… later than he should have. After Exile to be exact.

‘There’s a reason you never told Techno about what happened,’ Puffy had said, ‘you were scared he would use your trauma against you.’ And she was right… to a point. All this 'would say', 'had said', it didn’t matter to Tommy, it couldn't matter less because what’s done is done, what’s said is said, and who’s gone… is gone. Forever. There’s no point in fighting the unfightable. Battle, person, there was no point. The last time he reached to try and change anything he got killed- he was abandoned, again, and left to die. He knows his situation isn’t fair- Puffy’s told him so, Eret’s told him so, Ranboo’s told him so- but that doesn’t change the fact that it is. It is unfair that he can’t… have things, people. As soon as he makes something for himself, people try and take it away from him, as soon as he finds something that makes him happy they get snatched out of his hands, as soon as he finds people who are willing to help him, unapologetically, no strings attached, they are murdered in front of him. It isn’t fair, and no one else seems to see it. That’s something he regrets. Letting it get this bad. Because if all of this is happening to him, is being blamed on him, there must be something wrong, right? Ranboo doesn’t remember things, so maybe he did something awful and just… doesn’t remember. He burnt George’s house down, and if that warrants Dream’s abuse for months then he could have done anything to deserve everything else. To have almost everything and everyone he loves to be taken away from him time and time again. He couldn’t show emotion about it either, because he would be punished then, too. His best friend got blown up and he- he fucking- says something about how that’s not fair and then- he gets beat to death in a fucking box- for the crime of- fucking, what would that even count as, questioning the great Technoblade?

‘Oops- sorry- you enjoyed your music a little too much I’m going to kill your best friend and throw you in the prison for it, shouldn’t have done that, Tommy, c’mon now you now better-’ It was fucking ridiculous. He can’t understand why his consequences are so extreme compared to everyone else- Schlatt still got a grave for fuck’s sake! He has no fucking idea if anyone ever made him one- he knows Tubbo did, but Tommy and Tubbbo- Tubbo is the only one who actually gives to fucks about him at this point. Ranboo might be another, but with his memory shit, it’ll only be a matter of time before all he knows of Tommy is what other people tell him. Puffy’s only doing therapy for him because she feels guilty about losing Foolish, Eret, as much as he cares about her, is really only by his side because she feels she has a debt to pay, he’s the one following Wilbur around, fuck what Sam used to be to Tommy, Quackity was only going to get worse, Jack and Niki tried to fucking blow him up- anyone else who has unapologetically been by his side has been killed right in front of him. Everyone who has ever stood up for him has been killed in front of him or almost been killed in front of him- maybe that’s why. Maybe that’s why no one wants to be on his side because they’re afraid of the trouble he brings.

He’s a liability. They don’t want to die- so they’d rather let him die than risk anything.

He’s not a kid.

He’s something to avoid like the plague, and anyone who even remotely cared about him caught it. He feels tears sting his eyes. He hears a big gust of wind shake the trees before it whips around him- carrying a voice. A familiar voice. It whispers in his ear and settles in his mind, soft, like a blanket, he can hear it clear as day, asking if he needs anything, asking what his favorite thing in the world is, crying- crying out that he’s scared- asking with tears burning his face if it’ll be alright, ‘You promised I’d be ok!’

He regrets failing Ghostbur the most out of everything. He regrets not spending enough time with him, he regrets not telling him how much he meant to him- he sprints the rest of the way home. The digs through all his chests, his ender chest, not stopping until he finds-

“Blue, blue, blue, where is it- fuckin- please tell me I have some left, no- fuck where is it? What happened to it- please tell me- oh thank fuck- thank fuck-” After combing through the same two chests multiple times, he finally finds a few handfuls of blue left. Choking back a sob, he sees what's left of the clear turn blue and grow heavy in his hands. Ghostbur remarked that any blue he gave Tommy turned blue on contact, that it was odd, because it only happened with a few other people- Phil and Eret. People with towering regret. Phil must have regretted killing Wilbur… Eret, well, Tommy knows all too well their regret. Tommy was never able to place exactly what his regrets were.

He knows now that his regrets have only grown to encompass everything he knows.

Fuck, he feels so guilty about Ghostbur- it was Tommy's fault, wasn't it? He blamed Sam in the moment, but it really was… he was the one who told Ghostbur what to do- he was the one to use him to get into the prison in the first place. And he had to try and- calm him down- his fear still haunts Tommy's nightmares. Because he did promise. He did promise everything would be ok. But it wasn't, Tommy botched it, and Dream- Tommy had to watch- shit, it was his fault. Ghostbur is gone and there's nothing he can do to bring him back. He doesn't know anything about resurrection, and he- maybe- what if he agreed to let dream out if he got ghostbur back- no, no- no, no that's exactly what Dream wants. He wants Tommy to feel as though he's his only option. So Dream still has control. He… the last thing he wants for Ghostbur is to become a trading point. On the verge of tears, the blue changes in his hands. That never happened before- the blue changing. He looks down, and sees that the blue has turned into wool.

He hears a sheep bleat happily outside his door.

He scrambles up, moving faster than he has in a while, throwing his door open- he's not at his house. He's… not in the server even- what the hell-

It's still nighttime, but the stars are thousands of times brighter than he remembers. Instead of the prime path ahead of him, there's a quartz walkway spanning under tall birch and spruce trees; it seems that the stars are in the leaves, too. He looks behind him, hoping to hide back in his house- but it's not there. Instead, a quartz and mossy cobble archway, with more quartz pathing spilling out behind it. Tommy… might be stuck here. But he doesn't start to panic. He feels a strange kind of calm. Like this realm will let him out when his business is done. But he doesn't know what his business is.

He feels the weight leave his hands. He looks down- and the blue wool has turned clear. It's turned into delicate spindles of… something. Back to its original state. That has… never happened to Tommy before.

He looks past his hands, and the path lights up where his feet are. He jumps around a little, the light disappearing when his feet leave the path, and reappearing as they make contact again.

He laughs.

He dances around, his smile growing bigger.

The stars and the leaves seem to laugh with him.

"Hello, Tommy." a soft voice says behind him. A woman's voice.

Tommy stops, turning around, his grip tightening around the… well, it's not blue anymore, is it?

The woman is standing under the archway, tall, wearing black robes that flow around wings that are tucked neatly behind her, her long black hair almost seems a dark purple when it catches the light. To top it all off, she has a large black hat, similar to a witch’s hat, but Tommy understands that she doesn't want to hurt him. But he can never be too careful.

"Who- who the fuck are you?" Tommy says, defensively.

"Please, don't tell me that's how you greet every woman you come across?" She says, lightness in her voice and laughter in her eyes.

"Only the ones who trap me in weird- what is this place?" Tommy mutters, then asks.

"This is my home," she says clasping her hands together in front of her. "I figured you might need some closure."

"It's very pretty," Tommy murmurs again, looking down at his feet.

"Thank you, Tommy, I-"

"Wait, how do you know my name? I've never seen you before, and trust me, I would remember if I had met you." Tommy says, trying to lighten the small ball of worry in his chest. The woman laughs.

"Oh, you are exactly like my husband-"

"Oh no- You're married? Why?? A woman like you can't be tied down to just one man-"

"Tommy!" The woman laughs more.

"Augh- you're tall- you're so fucking tall and dark and mysterious- fucking hell you're tall- like I'm comfortable enough in my masculinity but still-" Tommy laughs, "and you're wearing all black- who's funeral are you going to?" he adds sarcastically. His face falls as her mood noticeably changes more somber.

"Everyone's- and no one's." she takes a few steps forward, and sighs. "My name is Kristin, Goddess of death."

"...what- i- how can- Wait a minute- oh fuck am I dead again- Wait a fucking minute where the hell were you the first three times I died- or for Tubbo- or for- Wilbur- Ghost- Ghostbur? Mexican Dream? Are they here? What do you fucking mean goddess of death? Is this the afterlife? Why the fuck didn't we go here-"

"Tommy, Tommy, I understand that you are.. allowed to ask questions, I called you here against your will- I will let you go back, I promise, and I'm going to try and answer all of your questions. Shall we walk?" She steps up, offering an arm.

Tommy is hesitant. If she… is actually the goddess of fucking death itself does he even have a choice? He nods and takes her arm. He immediately is filled with a cozy warmth- like drinking hot chocolate on a snowy day, finally getting in bed after working all night, a warmth that feels like home, like rest. Tommy muses if that's what a true, honest to prime death would feel like. When your joints finally stop aching, your breath stops rattling around your lungs.

His didn't feel like rest.

He wonders if he'll have a true death- he wonders if his joints will ever stop aching, because they do already. His breath rattles around in his lungs. Will he ever feel rested? With everything he's been through, with all the guilt he's got, probably not.

"Tommy-" Kristin begins to say,

"Are you an American? You sound-" Tommy tries to postpone the conversation he knows she's about to start

"Tommy-" she sighs, but he knows she's not mad.

"I know, I know, I use humor to cope with my trauma and to avoid talking about it, Puffy's told me this." Tommy quickly says. He feels something light brush his other arm- a feather, Kristin's put her wing around him.

"Puffy's smart, you should listen to her." Kristin nods. "But even Einstein didn't have all the answers-"

"Who?"

"-so you still should ask questions." She waves away his confusion with a motherly smile. "And you've asked plenty. And I have plenty of answers. So, one, no. You aren't dead. I simply realm hopped you to me. Any doorway can become a gateway, and it is quite easy to make one for someone like me. Something that I can't do, however, is help with pre-set death rules. Each timeline we make- just plain old 'live your life and die' got boring, so we shook it up. You all got canon lives, which… are completely not up to me. I do not get to decide which death is canon or not, and I don't get to even interact with your spirits until the third."

"Ok, then I wanna talk with the motherfucker who is in charge of those because I have a few words for them-"

"Tommy, trust me, you don't. While you are of great interest to them, and they do like you a lot, they are not going to budge on things. They are stubborn as hell- but they're a storyteller."

"Well, they're fucking stupid whoever they are."

"Although, something they- any of us really- didn't plan for was Dream having the revive book- or the revive book getting stolen from my husband in the first place. I can't tell you how many meetings I had to sit in to try and convince the others not to smite him off his earth- but that's a story for another time. Because of Dream knowing… the contents of that book, he was able to hold souls from coming to me, and he was able to place them wherever he liked. He didn't do Wilbur's soul correctly, however. His soul slipped through the cracks and got placed in… he called it limbo? That caused some issues for Dream that I'll tell you about later, but he messed up again, placing Mexican Dream in a limbo of his own, but those circumstances allowed me to save his soul from Dream-"

"Wait if you could save MD then why not-"

"Wilbur, like I said, slipped away from Dream and fell into his limbo. But, because Dream had no hand in actually directly placing Wilbur there, I wasn't able to save him. Not to mention, the manner of his death…. Nevertheless, I was able to save Mexican Dream from his limbo. In hindsight, I maybe shouldn't have, because Dream learned from that and you… you were placed somewhere I can't even access-"

"The void," Tommy whispers. He doesn't want to think about it, he shifts closer to Kristin, holding tighter to the fluff in his hand and onto Kristin's arm. She, in turn, holds him closer with her wing.

"There's an in-between life and death, and an in-between here and the limbos. Pockets of emptiness, waiting to be filled. More people find themselves there than you think, but even fewer who find their way out- you, and one of our own. There have been others, but your entire life has been different. Do you remember your life before the SMP?" she asks, softly. "You don't have to answer, but it's something to think about."

"I just want- Wilbur said that his limbo was awful. That he was there for thirteen years and that it was awful, and now because of me Ghostbur is there, too…" The black hole in his past is the last thing he wants to think about, so he changes the subject- guilt radiating off him.

"Remember the reason why I couldn't save Wilbur?" she asks, a twinkle in her voice.

"Because Dream didn't put him there- you can only save people who got put somewhere they weren't supposed to be?" Tommy looks up at her, hope tingling in his chest.

"Because Wilbur's soul fell… as naturally as it could have, Dream had to find a soul to replace Wilbur's with- with you, there was no need to find a soul to replace, because he had your soul in his hand, but for Wilbur, it was a… natural resurrection. With a missing soul, the entire continuum would collapse. So, he swapped Wilbur with Ghostbur. He placed Ghostbur somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. I was able to save him. Would you like to see him?" she smiles down at him.

"Wait he-" Tommy stops, his head spinning. Kristin stops too.

"He's safe. He's safe, and it's actually because of you. Because of that book- you can only place a soul in the void once. That was you. He had to put Ghostbur somewhere I could get him, or else his plan falls apart. Now… I can show you where Ghostbur is. But, I can't let him see you, or let you talk to each other. It's a precaution we have to take-"

"No, no, that's fine I just want to make sure he's- that he's- that I'm not-" Tommy shakes his head, trying to clear his mind, he feels like a vice has been released- one of many, but it's one. He takes a long shaky breath and nods his head. "I want to make sure that he's happy."

"Alright, come with me." She leads Tommy off the path and into the trees. Tommy hadn't lied when he said it was pretty. He has lighter steps now, and his smile is bigger than it was when he got here. They walk a little ways, Tommy sprinting when he hears the sound of familiar laughter, bright and carefree. He peeks out from behind a tree to see a clearing with a small house, mossy stone bricks, wood, and- and cobblestone. And, one semi-translucent ghost sitting behind a wall, in a garden of blue and yellow flowers, giggling. He's got a new sweater, still yellow, but there aren't any stains on it- blue or red. It's just… yellow. Pure yellow.

"I also pulled a few strings after that Skeppy incident," Kristin says, coming up behind Tommy, and Tommy perks up as he hears Ghostbur laugh again, this time a blue sheep running around the wall and up to Ghostbur.

"You found me! Good job, Friend!" Tommy hears Ghostbur say. Tommy feels a sting in his eyes, and then a hand on his back.

"You promise he's happy?" Tommy whispers.

"I swear," Kristan answers. Ghostbur stands and says something to the sheep, who bounds away. Ghostbur begins to count- backward from 10. Tommy doubles over, clutching his stomach.

"Tommy?" Kristin crouches down next to him, rubbing circles into his back.

"Counting down from 10 is not a good thing, I've decided," Tommy says, looking ahead, as Ghostbur laughs his wonderful laugh and disappears around the wall. His throat becomes dry, he doesn't want to cry in front of a goddess.

"It wasn't your fault." Kristin stands next to him, Tommy straightening up to meet her.

"Wasn't it?" he feels a tear run down his face, as he stares at the spot in that gates where Ghostbur was just moments ago.

"It was Dream's, as are so many others. Just because he punished you, doesn't mean it wasn't his fault, to begin with. Chances are, it was his fault more than anyone else's," Kristin says, her hand still running Tommy's back. He sniffles. "Are you ready to go?"

"No."

"I know, I'm sorry." Kristin's hand leaves his back, and it takes all his willpower to turn away from the small cottage and follow her. They make it back to the path, and she stops, "Oh, he gave this to me, but I don't really need it, so here. Have some blue."

That's when Tommy cries.

She's holding out a handful of light blue wool, he opens his left hand to show his one wool, now a dark blue. He reaches out, quickly, snatching it out of her hands, and he sobs out a sorry. The blue, once again, turns dark blue on contact. Then it turns clear- and then immediately turns dark blue again. It fluctuates between clear, and every shade of blue, as more and more tears fall from his face. He blocks out Kristin's words on habit- Wilbur would be telling him to suck it up by now. He tries to stop the tears, to stop sobbing, to regain composure, but he can't.

"I- I- I've- I'm a murd- I murdered pe- people- I'm not- a good p- person- why- did he tr- eat me like- I was- he treat- they tre- treated me like- like- like- like a human- when no- no one else- did- and- look at- look at where that got h- him-" Tommy turns his face into Kristin's side, and she hugs him close, closing her wings around him too. He holds the blue up to his face, letting the tears catch in it.

"Tommy, there's a reason they chose you. It's because they saw what you could be- who you could be. They wanted to help you. They knew, under all that doubt and hurt and regret was a boy who loved his friends. And they love you, too. I swear on it." She keeps rubbing circles into his back, letting Tommy cry. "I know all about sorrow, Tommy," she says, kind, "I understand that you will hurt. There's no bringing back who you lost, and it will hurt for as long as you live- but that hurt is proof that you care. It's proof that you are a good person. You are a good person."

Tommy breathes in a long shuddering breath, and lets it out, moving his arms to hug her back.

"Thank you, mom- oh wait I'm sorry-" Tommy pulls back, absolutely mortified at his slip-up, Kristin just laughs- not at Tommy, no, no, it's happy… motherly.

"No, Tommy, I can be your mother if you'd like!" She smiles.

"Yeah, because Puffy is kinda my dad because Phil didn't really do a good job." Tommy looks down at his feet.

"Oh, of course, I think my husband would be fine with adopting another kid. Although, considering what happened to the first one- I'm kidding, I'm kidding, he could have turned out worse," Kristin laughs, holding Tommy’s face and wiping away the tear marks.

"Wait- wasn't I flirting with you a few minutes ago-" Tommy smiles, laughing too.

"Oh my-"

"Welp, you're still my mother now- that makes you a milf, you're welcome!" Tommy doesn't mean anything by it, of course, he's just pointing it out.

"Tommy!!" Kristin laughs harder, and Tommy's smile grows bigger. "We should get you back anyways, you need some sleep."

"But moooooooom-" Tommy complains, joking, of course.

"Now, now, Tommy, I am your mother, I know what's best," Kristin says, picking up the bit.

"My stomach hurts, do I have to go to school tomorrow?" Tommy jokes, walking back towards the archway.

"Oh dear," Kristin tsks, walking next to him, putting the back of her hand up to his forehead, "You don't seem to have a fever at the moment, we'll see how you feel in the morning."

They laugh and joke around until they reach the portal, and she reaches up to pluck a feather from her hat and hand it to Tommy.

"A token for my son. Something you can flaunt around. Also- can you do me a favor?" Kristen smiles.

"Oh, of course!" Tommy gingerly takes the feather and spins it around in his fingers.

"When you get back, can you just tell my husband I said hi? He'll see it." She looks through the empty portal longingly, and Tommy wonders who this husband is.

"If he ever hurts you I'll kill him, " He says, completely serious.

Kristin laughs, "I know you will, Tommy, I know you will. Thank you." She snaps her fingers and the archway leads into his house. She ruffles his hair, and Tommy playfully swats her hand away. "I'll see you again, be safe, ok?"

"I will. Tell Ghostbur, if you can, that…. Tell him that I'm sorry, and that I miss him?" He says, one foot through the gateway, before stopping and looking back.

"I will. Good luck, Tommy.” She smiles, and Tommy can’t help but smile back. He steps through the portal, and looks back one last time- and it’s gone. He sees those oak doors, the prime path outside, he hears Shroud above him. His smile stays.

/msg all: Hey, Kristin’s husband? She says hi.

He laughs.

/msg all: She also adopted me so I’m your son now, good luck L kekw

With that, he closes his communicator and lets the chaos ensue. He spins the feather in one hand and holds the blue- back in its original... substance? He opens his ender chest, placing the blue somewhere he knows he’ll find it, and lays the feather next to his discs.

“Thank you. I’ll do you proud.”

8 notes · View notes

athina39 · 6 years

Text

Dead Apple Movie Report/Summary

as promised, here’s my reaction thread/summary/speculations/theories about the Dead Apple Movie!!! sorry it’s a day late orz

everything under the cut because IT’S LONG. the CR subs comparison is c/o Fayto-san!!!! i watched the movie in SE Asia, so it’s a different company who handled the subtitles/distribution (it’s ODEX).

here goes! (also a warning/enticement: i’m shamelessly biased towards chuuya and soukoku)

Extra Notes:

- we probably got ourselves perma-banned so many places yesterday (the restaurant where we had lunch, the coffeeshop we went to pre-movie, the foodcourt where we had our post-movie drink, the entire mall itself....) because we were..... quite wild haha

- we took up a whole row in the cinema and there was another group that had their own row behind us! they're chuuya fans too, which is always awesome. the girl behind me is educating her new-to-the-fandom friend to ship soukoku "even if dazai is an asshole", which is Big Mood.

- certain someones (lol) cough "walking dead show" whenever soda is onscreen;;;;; if only They Knew that was the actual theme of the show (more on that below)

- our group was the loudest in the squealing/shrieking ahahaha. and aside from the obvious chuuya and soukoku scenes, we were the loudest at: (1) ALL THE GIRLS (each time yosano/agatha/tsujimura/kyouka's mom appeared, there's guaranteed squealing; Kyouka is Best Girl); (2) akutagawa's Dynamic Entry & akutagawa's curl-up lol; (3) that scene in the OP with the pm dazai & ada dazai; (4) the backstab scene; (5) dazai's handcuff escape & pill swallow. we were also fairly loud at some of atsushi's scenes, but it was more out of laughter??? like.... tiger son, you're kinda unintentionally funny/narmy this movie;;;;

- the people behind us each time there's an atsukyou scene: "BUT. SHE'S. 14." / "she's cuuuute" / "but. she's. 14."

- drinking game: drink for (1) each time atsushi yells kyouka's name - you won't make it out alive within the first 30 mins. slightly easier version: drink for (2) each time there's an orphanage flashback. fast-paced version: drink for (3) each time the "CLAWSSSS" was repeated

Movie Itself:

- chuuya's dynamic entry is so cool, pink motorbike included. like 30% of movie budget probably went to the animation of that scene. it's also asdfghk;da that chuuya tooling/destroying buildings is like, part of his theme in this movie. also, it makes me excited to see a pm days!soukoku driving a car to a mission - they both drive like hell lol

- dazai's "hi, chuuya~" haunts me until now, like. stop sounding so sassy and flirty, gdI but then again, dazai's teasing voice when he talks to chuuya the entire time is sassy and flirty so. asdfhgla

- dazai's “It would have been interesting if Chuuya got struck with lightning instead.” made us shriek because pre-movie, we were discussing that the French term for lightning strike, "le coup de foudre" is associated with love at first sight

- dazai complaining that because chuuya arrived 5 mins late, dazai had to get hit 3 times & chuuya just rolling with that = old married couple vibe much;;;;

- on a more serious note - it's very interesting to see this side of chuuya - in his previous appearances, he was the type to immediately blow his fuse whenever dazai says something to infuriate him, but this time, while he still bickers with dazai, there's a serious edge to it? chuuya's about to deal with the cause of death of his sheep fa(r)m, after all.

- (also - wtf was that dude holding a gun to dazai's head doing??? he just allowed dazai, his hostage, to fucking talk in the communicator the entire time???? bro, you ok??? are you sure you're a villain??? it would be funny tho if the 3 smacks that dazai was talking was 1 smack per sentence that he said on the communicator - because he did say 3 hahaha)

- chuuya activating For The Tainted Sorrow wordlessly (come to think of it, he has never said anything to activate For The Tainted Sorrow? like, everyone else says their ability name....) and on a whole building range = fucking lit. i wonder how's the range/control for his ability... because he managed to knock every single one of the mooks (incl the Lightning User) on that building rooftop in like, 3 seconds. and he managed to do it *without* crushing his bike, which is also on the roof, so he's able to do fine-tune who can be affected.

- chuuya so very tsun-tsun and dishonest when he wants to "help"!!! like aside from destroying buildings, being married w/dazai and being beautiful - one of chuuya's themes in the movie is that.... he does things that others tell him to, in two ways. one is if it's an order/job - which he'll only take from his superior/boss. another is if it's a debt he has to repay.

- soukoku then meets shibusawa; dazai says that all the gems that shibu's throwing away are wasted and it would have made for a good gift to women. chuuya asks for shibu to return the sheep fa(r)m, but shibu says that the sheep won't return because they committed the (apple) suicide. (so the sheep are Ability users? at least these six?)

- in the crunchyroll ver, shibu calls chuuya (&dazai?) "boring guests", while in odex ver, he calls them "bored guests"

- upon hearing confirmation that sheep fa(r)m is deader than dead, chuuya activates corruption wordlessly and tells dazai to not stop him. dazai actually acquiesces to that order w/o mouthing off, so it's good to see that he actually acknowledges how important it is for chuuya to avenge the sheep fa(r)m, despite the events in 15...

- building with soukoku&shibu explodes....... and camera pans to dramatically billowing in the wind coat of fyodor as he watches the proceedings, and calls it great entertainment. (so fyodor has already seen corruption at work? hmmmmm)

- re: the ADA briefing re: shibusawa....... like. ranpo-san. if you already knew how everything will happen/end......can you like.......inform the rest of ADA too......

- the fog events where a fog appears then disappears after a *few minutes* leaving behind a corpse of an Ability user started 3 years ago. the info that they have on shibu is that he's 29, he's an ability user, he goes by "collector", and he's the person responsible for the fog events

- also laughing at how... the meeting kunikida & tanizaki went to, to meet with the Special Ops agent... so shady hahaha. though apparently, this is the first time that the "calling card" of a stabbed, juicy apple is left behind.

- tanizaki: "why an apple?" / kunikida: "how should i know?" asd;sfha;ds why is that your main concern tanizaki, there's a dead person there in front of you hahahaha

- (flashback to bar lupin - dazai asking soda if he knows about apple suicides & soda replying that it's cinderella..... and dazai saying that soda is really interesting because of that.....dazai, your definition of interesting.... is if people don't know cultural/literary references? and soda's an aspiring author at this point??? do you sure??? and dazai giving such motives to snow white ahahaha, the definition of overthinking....;;;)

- dazai gets ambushed by ango in front of bar lupin after dazai took the pill (that would supposedly eventually act as an antidote) (like.....how the fuck did dazai end up hiding that pill in his mouth for that long and he kept on talking a lot and it didn't slip or melt wHAT) & ango says that dazai's the one who brought shibu back to yokohama;;; dazai doesn't get captured by ango's team, bec that's when the fog appears

- (atsushi sleeps inside kyouka's closet???? like............why. i thought he had his own dorm room before??? and kyouka's apparently living (in the dorm???) that's quite far away from the agency itself, bec they had to walk a long way to reach the agency?? i was initially thinking it was like, just behind the office or just the next street over hahaha

- ADA budget apparently is spent on high-tech communicators (just use special satellite phones asdj;asd) and fancy gun storage. i'm a bit disappointed that there wasn't a flamethrower. also, the gun that kuni gave atsushi??? had so many fucking bullets.

- ango and his team is able to monitor the fog in yokohama so they're.... not in yokohama? do they have like an airship or something? the fog is apparently able to remove any non-ability users in the vicinity & separate the ability user from his gift. ango reveals that the HQ of the enemies is an abandoned tower called Mukurotoride in the middle of yokohama and i'm just.... did nobody ever think that an abandoned tower in the middle of a busy city isn't damn suspicious???? it's apparently been there for a long time ffs

- (atsushi has this one-track mind that because dazai saved him, then dazai must be good at all costs, which is. i'd love to say it's because he trusts dazai, but it's more like those fanatic belief, really. it would be great if the manga can explore this deeper - because atsushi's hypocrisy is a really interesting facet of his character. atsushi who doesn't even want to point his gun towards the enemy abilities in the beginning and who say that 'even if he's a villain, we don't know the type of person he is...' 'no matter how bad they are, there's no need to kill them', but when akutagawa says that bec dazai is an enemy now, he'll kill him, atsushi reflexively points a gun at aku...)

- ango's subordinates track chuuya (A5158) down and sends him a message to "pay his debt to professor glasses"

- bitch trio scene! shibusawa's theme of boredom bec he's apparently that much of a genius whose intellect can't be surpassed. dazai says that he's just like shibu before, bored beyond belief. when shibu asks dazai how he's surpassed it, dazai claims that he's going to show shibu and that shibu doesn't know what's dazai's true intentions. shibu shoots it down by saying that it's only dazai who thinks he's fushigi mystery. dazai says that shibu needs salvation.... by either an angel or a demon.

- and because call a demon and he'll appear, fyodor appears. who tells the two that they're the only ones who think they're being mysterious because they're pretty easy to read. (shibu then calls fyodor "Majin Fyodor-kun" ahhh). dazai claims that fyodor's the one most likely to betray shibu, which fyodor agrees with. shibu just says that there hasn't been anyone who surpassed his expectations, so he's looking forward to it.

- during the entire bitch trio scene, there's a focus on apples and a certain skull.

- aku telling kyouka that she now has the opportunity to kill him in an ability-less world asdfgh;lasd

- the PM apparently has made an emergency passage specially made to counteract ability user-attacks and can't be penetrated by the fog?? i wonder how they made it?? a nullifying ability from dazai??? hmm

- aku says that the fog is a "dragon's breath" & aku schooling atsushi on information gathering is asdfjg;asd (i wonder who gave the info to aku though....? probs mori haha)

- at this point, i'm gonna jump the explanations and go with - during this entire movie, shibusawa is already dead. he's a walking dead. except for That One Flashback, shibu is dead.

- shibu then welcomes the bitch trio to his collection room, Draconia. which is filled with crystallized abilities. the room has abilities that are bright red and dull red - apparently, all the ability users that is engulfed with the mist will have crystals in the room - once the ability user has been defeated by their ability, the ability will be crystallized and will become a bright red gem inside the collection room. the collected ability can then be taken and used by anyone who's holding the red gem.

- fyodor says that the collection is enough to make a devil jealous, while shibu says that fyodor sold him information about most of the ability users in his collection, which is how he was able to collect them. (remember in the Fyodor v A chapter - fyodor got himself captured so he can steal the notes/docs about Port Mafia members. *more on this below)

- Shibusawa: But how did you gather all that information? Fyodor: Every city is filled with rats. Dazai: Meow.

- that meow also haunts me hahahaha

- shibu then basically says that he's actually just looking for That One Special Ability to make the collection worthy

- akuatsukyou arrive at the end of the passage? but it's foggy, so either the fog is stronger, they're outside of the passage, or aku's lying about the passage being impenetrable by the fog asd;fasd

- Shibusawa: To me, people are nothing but machines of flesh, behaving in identifiable ways. But there is just one person I fail to comprehend. Myself. Dazai: Don't you have any friends? Shibusawa: I don't need friends. I understand everyone's mind, after all. I will surely go to the world beyond, between my lines, past the blank spaces. Dazai: You wouldn't be saying that if you actually had friends.

- this exchange is just so asdfgj'asds like pls you two

- akutagawa summarizes rashomon's ability as.... "to change a cloth to a blade and send it flying towards the enemy". i'm so proud of how aku's able to utilize that ability and create so many things (so demon armor is literally like a suit of blades??? damn son);;; (also, this brings to mind the saying "silk hiding steel" hahaha)

- aku defeating rashomon by slapping it towards the vat of lava..... damn son again;;;; aku going "just as planned", then rashomon apparently survives and aku changes it to "just as i expect from my own ability" ahahahaha.... and aku telling rashomon that he should quiet down and that he belongs in there (in his coat).... ahh bless him

- atsushi shattering the crystal on Byakko by shoving the blade inside its mouth.... is apparently Foreshadowing for something later

- chuuya complaining that he's being expected to go to ango's facility by one phone call.... but chuuya.... you still went..... ;;;;;

Chuuya: You've got some nerve, expecting me to answer your phone call like I'm on your beck and call. Ango: May we have some time alone? This is a government facility. You don't expect to get away doing something like this, do you? (referring to chuuya probs destroying a dozen doors in the process of him reaching ango's office) Chuuya: I'll be the one to decide if I do or not. Not you. Ango: You have a debt to me. Chuuya: No, you have a debt with me. Ango: What are you talking about? Chuuya: Don't act dumb. Do you think I'm stupid? It's about what happened six years ago. Ango: What do you mean? Chuuya: It was the government who sent Shibusawa into the Dragon Head Conflict. It was supposed to end the conflict that had engulfed all of Yokohama. But he never had any intention of maintaining peace. All you did was create more corpses. You sheltered him anyway, because he's a gifted that can help in protecting the nation. That's why, not only did you turn a blind eye to all the corpses he'd produced overseas, you covered it all up. Ango: All for the peace in this nation. Chuuya (grabbing Ango): Watch your mouth, professor glasses. If you hadn't sent him out, all six of my friends would be alive right now. Ango: Will you kill me? I wouldn't mind. I've been prepared ever since I'd decided to ask for your assistance. Chuuya (throwing Ango aside): It's a deal, then. I'll accept your job. And you'll pay with your life.

- back at the creepy beautiful castle:

- fyodor and dazai utter the "keikaku doori" line, which means shit is about to go down - apparently fyozai had made a team-up to sneak into the collection room w/o shibu knowing - dazai reveals that he worked to "guide" shibu in yokohama because shibu is someone that can't be touched because he has the protection of the government... which means that he'll just continue filling up his collection room with ability users and japanese gov't will just turn a blind eye to it, and therefore shibu must be stopped by other means - fyodor says that even w/o dazai meddling with shibu, shibu would create a fog in yokohama. - fyodor takes out 2 abilities. 1st ability can summon all ability users in the area and teleport them to a single place. 2nd can turn the abilities of the gifted who touch it into crystals. (was A a foreshadowing for this all along? A's ability is to change the lifespan of his subordinates to jewels....what is with fyodor and ability users re: gems hahah) - fyodor holds up the 2 gems so that dazai can touch it and nullify it

- (a side note: at this point, here are the characters who've been shown to still retain their abilities: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor*more on this later; Dazai because his nullification still works; Chuuya, because he still had that glowy red when he dealt with ango and cracked an entire office wall in the process)

- the logic is that, if dazai touches the 2 gem abilities... the crystals will be broken and the abilities will return to their "former state"*** (v important) and the ability to summon all ability users in one place (aka The Fog) will be cancelled and therefore fog will disappear

- fyodor offers the 2nd gem first... dazai touches it.... but instead of the abilities returning to their owners, the abilities escaped from the crystal shells inside the collection room and fused into one

- before dazai can work on dispelling the fog by touching the 1st gem, shibusawa stabs dazai in the back with a fruit knife. shibu says that he expected this, bec nothing surpasses his expectations. dazai just blandly says "i see... so this is where the betrayal happens", bec fyodor had supposedly locked the door to the collection room when they entered it, but woopsie, apparently not, because fyodor values entertainment

- dazai asks shibu what's his next step, but shibu says that his target is dazai anyway, so there's "no next"

- dazai says that he didn't expect a fruit knife to hurt this bad, so there must be poison in it

- shibu tells dazai that he can now taste the death he's longed for dearly

- in CR subs: dazai says: "How could you? This feels great" while in ODEX subs, dazai says: "What have you done? This doesn't feel great at all", which i think makes more sense

- fyodor says that "with the owner dead, the ability leaves him", and dazai "dies" and "no longer human" crystallizes

- (a side note: so it's confirmed that if ability user dies, ability leaves him.... but what happens to it next? is it transferred to a next person? how about its effects? the people that yosano healed... will their effects be gone and therefore the people will regain their wounds??)

- shibu holds NLH in his palms. shibu's very excited to see NLH crystallized because it very blue (as opposed to the red-gem abilities), the blue changes to red, gemblocking him.

- (presumably, NLH activates?? but.... fyodor held the two gems before and they didn't really activate.... but maybe they didn't because they were already active??)

- Fyodor: The merging ability (the 1st gem, aka: The Fog, aka Shibusawa's Ability) and the disabling ability (NLH). With the two contrary abilities becoming one, a singularity is born. Even with Dazai's special ability, what you really desire-- your lost memories-- will never come back.

- fyodor then says that he'll help shibu recover his memories, and slits his throat

- (joint orphanage flashback time!! c/o atsu and shibu as shibu regains his memories! shibu experiments on young atsushi by electrocuting him. shibu says that the president was mistaken about atsushi's ability, implying that atsushi's real ability isn't Beast Underneath the Moonlight. it's apparently a Very Special Ability, but atsushi's not able to use it properly because of his youth/inexperience. shibu says that even he isn't able to pull the ability out and collect it with his fog.

- in CR subs, shibu says that: "It's the only special ability that won the envy of all other gifted." // in ODEX subs, shibu says that: "It's a special ability that can grant the wishes of other ability users"

(a side note - if his real ability is an ability that can grant his wish, it's possible that atsushi probably read a picture book somewhere or got influenced into thinking that Tigers are Bad. his ability goes haywire, bec it was too strong and he was too young to control it, so atsushi's ability has formed into a tiger because atsushi needed something to blame. something beastly. something monstrous. he can't accept that he himself is the one who's hurting others, so he has formed his ability to turn to a tiger. the regeneration, the shounen power ups... they're not very "tiger-like" or it'd make for a very OP tiger, so his ability could be to make his wishes to reality, like "i want to heal!", "i want to be strong!" and the tiger is just the form that atsushi can deal with/can understand. you can even say..... that byakko is his fursona;;;; *gets kicked*)

(more side note: irl!atsushi wrote a story Tiger Poet, which features a man changing to a tiger....that is a poet... so he might have read that story and got an idea re: the tiger. there's a quote there, "We are all the trainers of wild beasts and the beasts in question are our own inner-selves.", which could be atsushi getting the idea of personifying his ability as a tiger so he can "tame it", aka control his ability)

- anyway, young atsushi didn't enjoy the electrocutions, the tiger takes over and claws shibusawa's face off, killing him

- shibu then says that the reason why he targeted atsushi to begin with is because he heard from a Russian named Fyodor that atsushi's ability is special (see the same contrast betw the CR and ODEX subs noted above)

- present time, fyodor then confirms that shibu died at that point. But. upon death, shibusawa apparently inherited a new ability - the ability to split himself (his soul? spirit?) away from his corpse. his body (aka, the skull that's been there the entire time) is the one who remembers death while his mind doesn't remember it and has retreated into a room (the Collection Room) to deal with his Feelings. (so it means that the shibu soukoku faced off in the beginning is walking dead shibu as well, because apparently shibu has gone for the gem collection quest after his death)

- a side note: so Shibusawa's Real/Original Ability is The Fog (1st ability can summon all ability users in the area and teleport them to a single place....and presumably "pull" the ability away from them). after dying, he got the ability to separate his mind from his corpse (redefining mind over matter), presumably given to him by fyodor?. he then gets the ability to turn abilities into crystals, presumably given to him by fyodor too?, then because he's basically a ghost wandering around earth, he tries to find a reason for "existing" to fulfill the void, which leads him to gathering abilities (*more on this later)

- the abilities continue fusing to each other, creating a huge mass. dazai's "dead" body is sucked into that mass.

- fyodor comments that dazia is quite greedy, because even in death, he intends to watch the city fall into destruction. fyodor then says that as congratulation for their anniversary of being friends (LOL; also - they've known each other for a year already? or is fyodor gigglesnorting here and considering that very same day as the start of their friendship?), he'll tell the dead dazai the reason why he managed to keep his ability in the fog.

- a "2nd" fyodor appears, the personification of his ability. he looks exactly like him. they say the "I am crime. I am punishment. Did you know? Crime and punishment are close friends." line ahahaha

- fyodor merges with his ability

- the mass of abilities that sucked dazai in changes for to a dragon

- fyodor reveals that the dragon is the form of the chaos of special abilities. (remember that "original state of abilities" that fyodor said above? apparently, it's a dragon)

- the singularity anomaly readings are over 9000, more than the events 6 years ago (aka, the opening scene). ango checks on chuuya's location to see if he's on his way

Ango: Chuuya-kun... Dazai-kun is almost certainly eliminated by now.Do you understand what that means? (implying that if chuuya ends up using corruption, there's no dazai who'll nullify it, therefore he'll also die) Chuuya: I don't care. Ango: Are you sure? You haven't taken your reward... My life. Chuuya: Don't get cocky, asshole. You were a just lowly infiltrator six years ago. It's not like anyone would have listened to you if you had opposed their plan to use Shibusawa. (Chuuya lowkey implying that he actually doesn't blame Ango all that much, despite all his talk earlier) Chuuya: This is nothing but that idiot's plans. That Dazai is still inside there. No doubt about it. I need to give him a smack, or I'll never get over it. I'm hanging up.

(can i just say.... chuuya.... even though he has no proof of it whatsoever, he believes that dazai's still alive and waiting for him. ango, who can see the readings of the ability users, knows that dazai's dead. but chuuya----he doesn't need that kind of logic. unconditional trust is here, folks. also, the theories about chuuya actually being able to read dazai's plans/motives??? hell yes)

- chuuya's in a plane approaching the castle (so confirmed that ango's office really is floating over yokohama??? or at least not near it?)

Tsujimura: We're approaching the target. Chuuya: You're that chick from way back. Tsujimura: I'm Tsujimura. Are you really going? Chuuya: Yeah. Tsujimura: It's no use. No human can defeat it. That thing is a monster beyond human comprehension. Get overconfident and fight it, and you'll die. (lowkey spoilers about chuuya being beyond human, thanks bones) Chuuya: That's not a reason to chicken out and go home. Do you know when it's all right to chicken out and go home? Tsujimura: I do not. Chuuya (jumping off the plane): There is no such time.

(chuuya's badass way of removing his gloves and jumping off and his hat and coat flying off???? the whole cinema SCREAMED)

- chuuya chants the "grantors of dark disgrace" line and corruption activates

- chuuya lands on a building, breaks it down to chunks and launches them at the dragon (with dazai inside hahaha)

- extended battle scene with chuuya just battling a dragon, which is the force of a fuckton of ability users' abilities combined, and nailing it. like. just. think about it. the dragon is formed by the force of all the abilities. and there's like, more than 128 of them (as per the initial briefing with ADA). chuuya actually defeated the force of that many ability users. fuck.

- chuuya jumps down to a huge-ass building, floats it and uses it to beat up a dragon. a building is being used as a baseball bat to hit a dragon. the sheer scale and ridiculousness of how powerful he is??? amazing.

- chuuya ends up ramming the building to the dragon's mouth. that's how the fight ends. he makes the dragon choke on AN ENTIRE BUILDING.

- chuuya then yells "DAZAIIIIIIIIIIII" as the dragon explodes (while he's still in corruption mode)

- chuuya reaches dazai, who's inside the dragon, and chuuya (still in corruption mode) punches dazai in the face

- the punch is apparently the key needed for dazai to bite down on the pill, releasing the antidote to the poison (if only romeo and juliet knew about this method...)

- dazai lives. chuuya coughs out blood from using corruption for too long.

- they float in the air and dazai. just. softly touches chuuya's cheek, disabling corruption.

Dazai: You believed in me and used Corruption? I'm so touched I could cry. Chuuya: Yeah, I did. I believed in your disgusting craftiness and refusal to die.* Dazai: That was a somewhat violent way of waking Snow White. Chuuya: You're the one who planned it by hiding an antidote in your mouth, knowing I'd punch you.

...JUST.

dazai's voice.

chuuya. admitting that he believes in dazai. in ODEX subs, it was "i believed in the fact that you wouldn't die", which is extra doki in that ----- even though they've said "i'll kill you" to each other so many times (even in the beginning of the movie) and even though chuuya knows about dazai's double suicide longings.... he still believes that dazai wouldn't die.

and just. dazai implying that he's snow white. and chuuya just rolling with it????? dazai implying that chuuya's the prince who woke up snow white. and chuuya just rolling with it????????

this is high-level flirting i CANNOT

and chuuya KNOWING that him being here is part of dazai's plans and him being here anyways knowing that (even though he had mentioned about dazai's plans always toying with him---)--------------- i CANNOT

Chuuya: Let go, asshole. Dazai: (*dazai presses down on chuuya's head to prevent him from moving*) Don't move. The fog hasn't cleared. I don't want to have to protect you from your special ability in this situation. Chuuya: It's still not over? Dazai: No, it's just beginning. Chuuya: Shit. I can't even move a single finger. (Chuuya collapses into Dazai's thigh, his face/chin landing on Dazai's upper right thigh/hip) Dazai: I predicted things this far. But the rest is on them.

and of course. the lap scene. the scene that killed everyone in the cinema. just. there's no words that can bring it justice. the fuwafuwa atmosphere. the shoujo music background during the floating then the lap scene. the sound of dazai's hand patting chuuya's head. the body placements. the camera angles. that pic in the magazine???? oh boy the actual scene, the extended scene is 10000000000x gayer.

just think.

dazai. who shoved atsushi off when he fell on him.

dazai. who had chuuya fall on his crotch and legs and just. let him stay there. like yes, the point is that dazai has to keep on touching chuuya so he can nullify chuuya's ability and therefore not have his powerful ability have a separate form that can fight them. but they didn't have to stay in that position, did they? i mean, chuuya can't move but dazai could have shoved him off, right? he could have touched him using anything else but keeping him between his legs and patting his head/hair right.

.............BUT WAIT.

dazai.

before he "died".

he.

already nullified the ability to form abilities to crystals. the only ability left is shibusawa's fog, which can trap ability users in one place and extract the ability from them (and just that. the abilities shouldn't be trying to hunt down their "owners" anymore, because no more moon crystal power. right???)

so.

dazai........didn't really have to keep touching chuuya then?

.......is that so. huh.

.....i see.

sasuga dazai.

(i mean even that conjecture is incorrect - as in the Fog can also make abilities fight their owners, aside from just extracting them..... did dazai really have to touch chuuya like that????? .....he really did, huh. i see. sasuga dazai)

.........also. the ability, even if given form, only attacks the owner. (except for that lol-worthy case of rashomon and the tiger having different ideas and attacking each other). so if dazai, as he says, really hates chuuya and wants him to die...... he can..... just let the ability kill chuuya, right??? he doesn't *have* to protect chuuya from it, right? his keikaku that will allow him to use the antidote pill is done, right....? ....ah, but he has to protect chuuya... i see.... sasuga dazai) (unless dazai thinks that chuuya's ability would also hunt him down, in which case.......... dazai, you think yourself that important to chuuya that his ability will hunt you too, huh...... i see.... sasuga dazai)

....also.

dazai.

saying that this is within his predictions, while he's holding the collapsed chuuya to his thigh. still with his hands on chuuya's head. dazai....... why are you predicting that chuuya will end up in your lap. more importantly, why does your predictions END once you have chuuya in your lap. you're leaving the akuatsukyou children to fend for themselves and didn't predict the next parts because you got chuuya in your lap already. .....i see. sasuga dazai;;;;

(a sidenote. from above. fyodor sold the port mafia's information re: ability users to shibusawa. the ability users that shibu knows about will be in the collection room, their abilities getting taken from them. chuuya has his ability The Entire Movie. he didn't lose for the tainted sorrow, at all. so.

- chuuya's ability too strong and can't be extracted, just like atsushi - OR chuuya's ability not in port mafia records - OR chuuya's info is there, but incorrect/incomplete - OR chuuya's info is there, fyodor kept chuuya's ability's information and didn't sell it (a good theory for fyoya fans???) - OR collection room can only get abilities from humans?

(signs point to the first one....... but the other options are also hmmmmm)

- fyodor planting a broken crystal of shibusawa's original ability crystal on the skull's head (it looks like a goddamn horn) so that shibu becomes the "point of singularity" in lieu of the dragon bec dragon is dead. fog continues.

- shibusawa realizing that all his plot?? at collecting abilities? is just his way of trying to cope with the fact that his real thirst lies with atsushi. no really. he just really, really, really wants to see atsushi again.

- another sidenote: AGATHA IS A QUEEN. also, we're laughing about how Agatha is in command of EU. (no brexit in BSD world, apparently) (but also crying a bit because..... Verlaine and Rimbaud and the Trancendentals could be part of the clock tower order??? because there's 12 Transcendetals, there's 12 #s in a clock and they're from france, therefore europe, therefore part of EU therefore----)

- THAT FUKUMORI BACK TO BACK SCENE. MOTHER OF FUCK. mori having faith in dazai's keikaku..... but he's wrong.... because dazai's keikaku had already ended a few minutes ago, with chuuya in his lap. (but really. so mori can't 100% predict dazai, apparently. because mori thinks that it's still within dazai's plan, but dazai says it's not anymore, so.) also. mori being able to kill the ability-elise but not doing so because of the power of cute??? wow, just wow.

Mori: Fukuzawa-dono. Fukuzawa: What a coincidence, Mori-sensei. Mori: Are you having a problem? Fukuzawa: I've just had a glimpse of a solution. Mori: Excellent. Is it not at times like these that your daily actions speak? (They attack each other's abilities) Fukuzawa: I thought you only used your scalpel. I'll be careful from now on. Mori: No mercy, even for an endearing girl. The lone swordsman, Silver Wolf. You are indeed full of sin.* (CR: you are indeed guilty; ODEX: you are indeed, full of sin) Fukuzawa: That was nothing but a demon. Elise: Hey, Rintarou! What the heck are you doing, leaving me behind?! Mori: It's the real Elise-chan~ Fukuzawa: I think she's a demon either way.

- the akukyouatsu v shibu fight continues, with shibusawa basically saying, "ATSUSHI THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE" in repeat. the reference re: tiger v dragon is brought up. shibu says that he's not bored anymore bec atsushi's there.

- the tiger and the dragon are enemies. (more on that here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TigerVersusDragon) apparently, because the dragon represents all the abilities fused together, the tiger is the opposite (......so..... tiger = no abilities? hmmmmm. no wonder fyodor wants him. it's the fulfillment of his goal of a world without abilities, then?). shibu says that atsushi's ability is the opposite of all the abilities, the most special ability of all. atsushi's ability crystallizes, but before shibu can take it, atsushi grabs and says "that's not an ability, that's me!"

- (side note:

- i wasn't expecting that atsushi (whether it's the beast underneath the moonlight or the possibility that his is an ability that takes the form of his desires/wishes) would be the opposite of all the abilities. i would think it's more of dazai's or someone who can erase an ability, but. MC powers? - then again. all of shibusawa's info came from fyodor. so it's also highkey possible that this is all Fake News from fyodor)

Shibusawa: I understand everything, now. Why I'm here, why you appeared before me, and what his words mean... You... You must be the angel who saves me.

- shibu proving dazai right that "an angel" saved him, though technically a "demon" saved him "from death" before too....

- atsushi kills shibu for the second time by crushing his skull

- AGATHA. BEING DISAPPOINTED. THAT YOKOHAMA IS SAVED. because. "The scent of a burning nation goes well with tea." AGATHAAA

- at the end of fighting, chuuya's propped up against the wall of rubble (YOU KNOW THE ONE). his hat apparently landed a few feet away from him. (did dazai drag him there so he can be near his hat? did dazai look for the hat?? did the hat get magically pulled to where chuuya is??).

akutagawa appears.

chuuya asks what the hell is he doing here, then says that the idiot dazai is safe.

akutagawa..... bows to chuuya.

like damn.

akutagawa "DON'T YOU ORDER ME, YOU FOOL" ryuunosuke, bowing down to chuuya. a+++++++++

but then akutagawa starts to leave chuuya behind ahahahaha

and chuuya goes..... what, you're just gonna leave me here when you see i can't walk what. but seriously, his line is: "Oi. Lend me a shoulder."

(so.... dazai and chuuya were together till daybreak, in time for chuuya to wake up, for the spoonDI cover to be shot, for them to have matching bruises on their lips in that photo, huge smiles in their faces, for dazai to change clothes, for chuuya to be unable to walk.......... i don't to say they banged in the rubble, but they totally banged in the rubble.)

- dazai basically saying that, welp i did this keikaku and harmed so many things! - atsushi: but dazai is helping yokohama!!! - Dazai: Do I look like such a good person?

- atsushi.... i want to say it's your trust or that it's your naivete, but...... are you sure you have eyes lol

- dazai reveals that he hopes that shibu managed to fill his boredom and loneliness..... dazai, stop projecting your issues on others. stop helping others with your same issues achieve happiness.... do it to yourself first please.....

- as the ending song plays... we have this scene from ango:

Ango: Given the complexity of the three masterminds' motivations, we still don't have a full picture. Dazai-kun's the same as usual, and demon Fyodor's intentions are impossible to comprehend. But, beyond all the scheming and lying, the incident may fundamentally be very simple. How is a man like Shibusawa, so intelligent that others look like alien creatures to him, to act, to be destroyed, or to be saved? To be one of three aliens in the world, in isolation and loneliness... I can't even imagine it.

.....like, given the movie. it really is a good summary. all these genius aliens.... they actually have such simple thoughts.

- shibu did all of that, but he just really wanted to see atsushi again. - fyodor did all of that, but he just really wanted to be a bitch and have fun. (and maybe kill all ability users eventually) - dazai did all of that, but he just really wanted to try an apple suicide and be saved just like snow white.

.....one of it is not like the others, ahahaha;;;;;;

- chuuya looking beautiful in the ending scene, as he talks with mori

Chuuya: Were you aware of the trick, Boss? (*referring to dazai not really dying? and using that antidote pill?) Mori: Dazai-kun was acting on his own, and I expected he would need your help. As a forerunner. Chuuya: So I was an opening act? Mori: Dazai-kun decides the star. (in ODEX: Dazai-kun was the one who decided on the star.) Chuuya: And what do I get in return? Mori: The return of order in this city. Chuuya: The peace of this city, huh? Mori: Good work. Chuuya: You don't need to thank me. It was your order, so I'm just doing my job.

- asdfgj;asd - mori #1 soukoku shipper confirmed. like. even if he has that much faith in dazai's plans (see above), he also has a lot of belief that dazai's plans will work if chuuya's there to help.

and that "dazai decides the star"/"dazai decided (on you) being the star.... and chuuya....... just rolling with it. he's not ok with simply being an "opening act" ahhaahh. and mori knowing that dazai made the plan with chuuya having the starring role. and chuuya Knowing that too.

and here comes chuuya's concept of "reward" again.... does this boy get paid.......

chuuya's reward being yokohama's peace???? is he really part of the mafia??????????? a pure boy. someone give him the yokohama peace prize.

- second to the last scene is fyodor still creeping on them:

Fyodor: Everything is but entertainment. But in order to end this world, rife with crime and punishment, I really do need that book. The blank novel sleeping in this town.

(so Book's location is confirmed to be in Yokohama at this point)

- final scene with ADA doing business as usual and atsukyou going out for a mission? to buy crepes? to buy chazuke? idk

#dead apple #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs: dead apple #DA Spoilers #soukoku #nakahara chuuya

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survivor-kuang-si · 7 years

Text

Episode 1: “I’m shaking in my crocs.” - Tyler

Okay so to begin my game I've started to attach myself to everyone. I'm trying to communicate with them to the best of my ability. However, Kai searching for the idol is pretty suspect if you ask me. I'll keep him close to see what he makes out to be. Other than that, I want to try and be everyone's best friend, but then get them out when necessary. From first impressions, I feel like I can trust Devon and Brendan. Danganronpa solidarity. However, Alexa may be targeted for being the only girl on an otherwise all-guys tribe. If she does get targeted, I want to try and save her so she's in my pocket. Let's play some survivor!

Already straight out of the gate these people are boring me. I woke up super early cause here i am thinking all these Americans will be awake for this. But nope, pretty much no one is online. Quite frankly, i'm thinking of sueing.

Ahhhh I'm so glad I'm here! It's exciting

So Turkey just asked me to be his first ally seems like a stand up guy that I can get along with. In small tribes you can never be comfortable but pairs have run the game before.

So the game has just officially started! I'm starting to get a feel for everyone and I'm liking some of my options. I started having a conversation with David and straight away knew I wanted an alliance with him. He seems dumb and I like dumb because it usually means they are easier to manipulate. I would love to hire all the dumb people to be my firing squad, after all they're all just expendable sheep.

Heyo. So, after taking a look at the roster, I don't think that I stand a chance to win, as I'm the only non-native English speaker. From my experience, I should avoid "standing out".

So to not stand out even more, I won't be getting a really high score in the first game.

I won't look for a hidden idol either. The people aren't too talkative so far, which really isn't a bad thing. I can just blend in, hopefully. Let's see where we go from here by laying low :)

This reward challenge is so infuriating, i ended up getting a really good score eventhough i have 0 clue how, but hey, i'll roll with it. David just told the tribe that he can't participate in this reward challenge as his plane was delayed 5 hours. Not good enough David. I expect you to get in that control tower and sort out the planes yourself.

I hate winterbells, I hate it with avengence. The annoying bunny, the annoying bells and the annoying music!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!

With two members of Tanha being mutes i'm feeling pretty safe if we were to go into tribal. Myself, David, Andreas and Amanda are the only people talking in the group chat. This leaves Valentina and Haylei on the outs and hopefully they're some low hanging fruit to pick off. David has already come to me trying to lock them in, so i'm going to stand back and let him be the boss because its way too early for me to want to stand out. You can play in the mud, i'll stand here and watch.

Couple Things:

1. I hate Winterbells. 2. Stix's comment about how he was going to vote rubbed me the wrong way. It's just like, keep it to yourself. If you are just going to be out in the open about how you are going to play, I don't think I could trust you to keep secrets safe. All in all, I would rather keep him at arm's length with information. I can see him playing a very loyal game though, so that helps me if he wants to work together. 3. Brandon came to me and offered to work together. Of course I said yes. We both like Danganronpa and we both seem to have similar tastes in games. I want him to be my ride-or-die since he came to me first and all. I think right now is too early to make any moves, though. So we'll just wait and see 4. Alexa has a HUGE score. I want either me or Brandon to buddy up with her so we can find out what she did at the Garden of Eden.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-S4UBWGhpss

So we're doing this first immunity challenge and all I can think is, wow, my teams killing it! Why should I kill myself when 1) we are already doing so good. ANd 2) I don't have a target on my back at all. So you bet your ass I did a minimum job and also lied to my tribe! Now I just gotta hope they don't figure out that I lied, but if they do, I feel pretty comfortable in my abilities to talk my way out of it.

okay so I've been doing pretty good in this challenge, i think lmfao, and my tribe is like "33k" "160k" When im over here fucking getting close to 1million. Thank god this is a reward challenge but im really hoping that the other tribe suck ass as much as my tribe does lmfao. Also, im not in this community but i thought i'd try it out, but everyone says "akfadkdfkagklag" im like wtf

I really like my tribe! Everyone is pretty active and nice! Kai has flawless opinions on BB19, Stix and I are from the same city, Branden and I are both from tengaged which is surprising since I didn't think anyone from tengaged would be playign this season, Devon is pretty quiet but that's okay I know he's been busy with work the first few days and Rafael is pretty fun to talk to.

So i scored the best challenge score on my tribe! Which honestly wasn't hard, they're all very incompetent. Looking at some of the scores from other tribes, im shaking in my crocs. So i get sent to the garden of Eden with Brandan and McKenna. We have a riveting conversation on call and all decide not to take that lovely temptation. Well i mean i said i wouldn't. I want that idol! I came here to play so honey, you're gonna have to hand over that clue. I wouldn't call it lying, i mean if i told them i was going to take it they'd have a one up on me, and we cant have that. So now i have to throw the immunity challenge! Sorry Tahna, looks like i accidently slept threw the entire challenge! After all i am Australian! David has just told me that i'm his number 1 and I guess he is my number 1 as well, but that doesnt mean im telling him i have the idol clue! Also because i told him 'all about what happened in Eden' he promised to tell me what happened if he was to go in. Sorry David ;)

The tribe winning the reward really raises moral. That advantage will be super useful for the upcoming immunity. The tribe has decided to go and give the extra life to Brandan since he did get the highest score on the reward challenge. This might get him labeled as comp beast, and thus targeted. For immunity, the plan is to target one tribe and get them out so it ends the challenge quickly and efficiently. I came up with the plan, and have been the most active in the chat. I'm scared of this since it would make me look like a leader, and being a leader puts a target on your back. I doesn't bode well with me. Other than that, I think if we did go to tribal, I would vote out Stix since he has been a bit aloof during the time the game has started. I would like to continue working with Brandan, but have also grown fond of Kai. If Kai, Brandan, and I were in an alliance, that would be my ideal scenario. Raffy logging out!

I'm trying to convince McKenna or Ally to take on my ideal plan for the challenge as my own, I do not want to put my name out and be singled out if the plan fails. My plan: I'm trying to get our whole tribe to 'shoot' at the Tanha members, send them to tribal because Koalang has an advantage. I personally believe the advantage is an auto dodge if they can't get it off. If Aphi Sa coordinates shots on Tanha, Koalong might tag along and send them to tribial instead of us. Obviously, I don't feel 100% safe, I'm going to be working at the beginning of the challenge. If I get shot while I can't get on my phone, I'm out. I am trying to implement a tribe plan for the challenge without tagging my name on as I can't be there to lead the troops out of the gate.

My tribe is hard to get the correct feel of, I'm not sure if I'm talking to much to them or if they appreciate me having something to read. As far as alliance members go, I am currently trying to find who I would like to be most loyal to in this game. Zach is a strong front runner, as well as Charlotte. I like Ally and McKenna, but McKenna seems like the most likely to "Caesar me" JG is my ideal first boot if it comes to it. He doesn't talk in tribe and has not responded to my pms. Maybe they're all PMing behind me but I doubt it, our tribe chat is DEAD.

Took a little sneaky peek for the idol. I have to come back again! I was so close! Bloody Mitchell flashing all his idols

It's annoying that we didn't get anywhere in the challenge. I know some people struggled but I'm like seriously, I struggled and you got less than me, really? I think some weren't really trying and if that happens again I won't be impressed!

This idol clue was actually such an amazing advantage! After looking for the idol i realised that there was no way anyone could find the idol without the clue. So i know where im looking next round! I am encouraging people from my tribe to look for it so i can seem like a 'team player'. When really, they have no hope.

I think I've placed myself really well socially in the game. I've been talking and bonding with everyone in the tribe. Though I doubt we will go to tribal. Our strategy is solid. The only change is that we've decided to go for the other tribe as one of their members, Tyler, basically threw the challenge by typing in the sharpshooter chat before the challenge began. Now tey are down to 5 members. This should be easy.

We just slammed this contest like what the hell , you're not going to show up , I was just in a finale and had a funeral to go to and I was here , LOL THESE PEOPLE ARE JOKES

well that challenge was easy and I think i have very good social bonds right now and I hope I have something flowing with Ally and EG. Zach is chill but I think hes chill with everyone, charlotte is basically inactive and idk hes just weird lmfao, ian just talks to me but we never even formed anything hah

OMFG what rubbish pile of poo tribe have you put me on. I am so so peed off right now. Considering I am the one with the bad timezone here...... URGH. I was gonna write a long complicated one and I am actually so beyond peed off I don't think I can. I'd better not go I am telling you that much. An 8 hour task and they lasted 16 fecking mins. Hardly anyone talks and noones putting any effort in.

AS expected, the plan worked flawlessy. Aphi Sa even helped out to take down the other tribe. It went smoothly, but Amanda really pulled it out even if she had no one but herself. I'm impressed and kind of sad. Sad that a simple typo brought her down. If she got to the merge or if I end up with her in a tribe, I would definitely love to work with her.

Yay we won both challenges! To recap my day a bit, I'm now in two separate duo alliances! I'm in #TeamBuffalo with Stix and Team Tengaged with Brandan, I really like both of them and Rafael so hopefully us 4 could possibly form a larger alliance together? We'll have to see.

Ahhhh I'm so happy we won but I definitely think Amanda should get some sort of reward for doing that because the only thing that stopped her from winning was bad spelling.

Just won our first immunity! My tribe is unstoppable and my plan is working great. I'm keeping a really strong social connection, while also making myself look like I'm beatable in challenges individually! You think firing at 6:06 was a mistake?....oh boy are you wrong. If I'm gonna win this thing, my plan needs to keep going Day by day. Just a little more than the day before. But I'll tell you what, next immunity challenge, if we somehow don't win. I'm ready to make a big move already.

Well that's fabulous 0 for 2 *strikes pose* Go team.

Okay, so Brandon has made an alliance with him, Kai, Alexa, and I. While I'm all for an alliance, with six people on this tribe, it really seems easy for it to fall apart. Unless, we don't go to tribal until three tribes become two, I don't see this alliance lasting too long. But at least the two people I want to work with (Kai and Brandon) are with me. Alexa, if it comes down to it, will go out of everyone. For now, however, I need to up my social game with Kai and Brandon so they will want me around more than Alexa. Devon is also someone I feel like I can trust. A side duo with me will be pretty good for me. My tribe rankings would be: 1. Brandon (since he seems to be in everyone's ears and already calling strategic shots) 2. Me (not first because I haven't started strategizing with people) 3. Kai (third most active and useful in challenges) 4. Alexa (she's in by no means a bad spot. The reward challenge should make her higher, but she also doesn't interact as much. I consider her the bottom of the alliance) 5. Devon (sort of just there. A floater) 6. Stix (Bottom of the tribe. A bit aloof when it comes to conversation. Nice guy though)

Aphi Sa represent! A two round Sharpshooter win has to be something to be proud of right? Full offense to Koalang, we carried you that challenge. Tanha, it was nothing personal we just wanted the advantage to be a non issue and from your reward scores, you seemed like the tribe that would have the least active at the beginning. When Tyler started typing in the challenge chat before the game started I kept thinking to myself, "Do it, come on do it, press enter!" That two round win is my strategic win, I came up with the plan to target Tanha, sorry, I came up with the idea that we do a spread offensive first round to take out the afk's at the start, I was the one who gave the list to the tribe of the names on the other tribes. I did that... with the help of my tribe. Ally is the only person in this game that knows that I was the mind behind a 15 minute challenge, I had to work so I was only going to be active for 3 or 4 rounds so I spent the time leading up to the challenge thinking of routes the challenge that could take and the fastest way to win it for my tribe whilst I could take part or set them up for success in my absence. I reiterate spread offense, logically I wouldn't be the only one who could only participate for so long and hit the people that would be in my boat. Then tactical strikes on the ones that dodge, sadly for Amanda she was the only one on her tribe who participated. My hat's off to you girl, 9 dodges in one round, I couldn't do it, alas a spelling error got you. Can happen to anyone one when the game is on the line and you know everyone is coming for you. Ally proved vital in my quest to get my plan portrayed to the tribe while making everyone feel like they were part of the discussion. In our tribal discussion she helped sway the conversation to points that would emphasis the plan I pm'd her about for the challenge. Hopefully this is indicative of a partnership I would like to have in this game. Everyone felt included, everyone felt vital. Aphi Sa is safe, as great coaches say, “We're on to the next Challenge.”

Hello ladies and gentlemen, lovers and fighters, high tops and sober bottoms, it is MISS Kelsey Mikaelson, coming to you live and in colour~! That's right, she's back in the business, ready to fight for the crown! And, surprise surprise, no one's talking to her! LOL, let me stop the third person. Entering this season, I was actually quite excited due to the chance to play with actual, like...new people like myself instead all those flops who win a season per month. However, against my expectations, I'm accepted less with these new people than usual XDDD I don't feel like anyone in the tribe is really...like, happy to see me or enjoying speaking with me. It's just not a nice air but what else other than jealousy can start off a season like this? ;) I really wish Tahna won the immunity challenge but that didn't happen so...I've just got to push myself to talk to these people, as much as they don't want to talk to me. Let's hope I don't go home first, that wouldn't be too good a look. If I can make it through this one, I've got a knack I can last so...let's put our hearts up for this one! Wish me luck, loves! ^__^ And THAT'S all there is to it! The body is HERRRREEE! -Kelsey Mikaelson

Yeah, we were the target to go at the challenge, and it was sad to see us going down so quick, but oh well. With one person attending, that's just how it goes. Not much more to add here :)

Okay so i'll give like a brief "initial thoughts" run through of everyone, where I stand, and how i'm feeling about the overall game. So, without further ado, let's introduce my fellow tribe mates! First we have Ally. So her and I briefly talked, and it was the minimal type of conversation. I heard from a fellow friend of mine that she is extremely loyal, trustworthy, and likeable, and that I should attempt to befriend her. My goal for the upcoming days is to grow really close with her, and try to form a solidified bond. Next, we have Charlotte. I know of her from another ORG, in which I evicted her (but it was an unanimous vote so let's hope it's not impacting on our relationship). Similar to Ally, we briefly talked on the first day, and it was more about other things opposed to just the simple "hey what's up!" talk, so that's something. I'll probably try to strengthen my relationship with her slightly. Ian's next. He's a goofy person to be honest. I think out of everyone, i've talked to him the most. He's not the most... relatable or easiest to talk to, but he's chill. I think I could see myself working with him to an extent, purely for the benefit of my game, but nonetheless, I need to keep talking to him! Following Ian, we have JG. I have not spoken one, single word to him/them/her. The reasoning is that I want to start a little bit, so we have a bond, but I need someone I can vote out first. Unfortunately, for the luck of draw and timing, they're the one I chose. Maybe things could change though? Who knows. The last individual we have is Mckenna. I really like her, and her and I talked a lot about various things and she has straight out asked me to work together. I said yes, because I do. The only issue with Mckenna is that I think she's playing a social, snake-like game, and i'm a little worried, but it's kind of too early to call. So in conclusion of the initial thoughts, I think I stand okay with everyone. I'm going to try to be more active and helpful so that i'm an attribute to keep around, because quite frankly I want to win. Now, for my strategy. Like every game i've ever played, my intent is to be a strategic goddess. However, I want to revamp that and focus on my social game. In Bahamas (shout out to Dana), my game was purely social, and I made it to final three, placing second and LOSING by one vote against Dana. Strategy was an aspect of my game, but not everything to me. This time, as it's a main season, i'm putting all my energy into this. I'm going to attempt to be manipulative, and run the merge phase and win. Obviously, I won't, i'm too cocky, but that's my hopes and dreams. I want to excel strategically and socially, and be okay competitively. One thing i'm excited for is that this game, I plan on being extremely cutthroat. Will that bite me in the ass? More than likely, but whom cares. I want to be fun, entertaining, and play hard, and if I lose because lack of respect... whatever. But keep in mind that may be subject to change as i'll probably develop secured relationships, and be really nice and loveable. I need to work on my jury management skills, so maybe i'll tell people if i'm voting them off. WOOO That's it for now! Sorry about my ramble! Talk to y'all soon!

Challenge = Thrown , I'm not going to lie, i didn't mean to send a message to the challenge chat, but i'll take it cause it actually ended up working in my favour! My tribe is from places all over the world and the only person who actually participated was Amanda, which i find hilarious. Annnnd the only person that Amanda wasn't angry at wasn't me🤷🏼‍♂️. Look at me go. We lost the challenge 😭. David and Fairy (Andreas) both talked to me prior to the challenge, and we shared gentle words about how we wanted Haylei absolutely eradicated from our tribe. And what do you know, we all just end up talking about this in the tribe chat, it's not like Haylei will ever log on to see it. It's nice in rounds like these where the vote is obvious, to step back and let others feel like they're in charge, gettem nice and comfortable *Pretty aggressive and Malicious Laughter*

#havecookies

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disneymoviethoughts · 7 years

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Thoughts I had while watching Beauty and the Beast

1.I'm sure everything I'm going to say has already been said but yolo. 2. The Beast's castle is definitely one of my favorites. 3. Stained glass goals. 4. If Adam had until his twenty first birthday to fall in love, and this was ten years ago, then Adam was eleven when he was cursed. 5. Kids are bratty, but not they-deserve-to-be-cursed bratty. 6. And don't tell me they were frozen in time because then how would his twenty first birthday arrive? 7. I think "Belle" might be my favorite song on the soundtrack. Don't @ me. 8. These people are all singing about how strange she is in front of her face. 9. I would've told everyone off by now. 10. That's a lot of books and a large bookstore for a town where no one except Belle reads. 11. As an avid reader myself, I would not be offended by people telling me I always had my nose stuck in a book.

12. I was super upset that they took this scene with the sheep out of the live action version. It's so cute. 13. They just showed Gaston shooting a duck. I did not need to see that tbh. 14. I still can't believe that NO ONE in town can't or doesn't read. 15. "How can you read this, there's no pictures" lol and you want Belle to marry you, Gaston? 16. Honestly, I like this version of Maurice way better than his character in the live action. He's adorable. 17. I want Maurice to invent me something. 18. "Where have you taken us, Philippe" says Maurice who wanted to go down the dark and spooky path instead of the bright, lit path that Phillippe tried to drag him down. 19. Why are these wolves always hanging around outside the castle? Don't they have better places to find food than a place that no one comes out of? 20. I'm not gonna lie, I wouldn't be mad if my furniture talked. Especially if I had a cup like Chip, the cutest character in the movie. 21. Cogsworth has always been amusing but who put him in charge? 22. Not letting a stranger in the house is what got you into this mess in the first place. Try being a little nicer, eh, Adam? 23. You can't just set up a wedding and expect Belle to say yes just because it's there. 24. If someone put their muddy feet on one of my books you best believe they wouldn't still be sitting there, let alone still talking. 25. Belle is handling this much better than I would. 26. Gaston is the worst kind of man. 27. Belle says she wants more than her provincial life and that she wants adventure but then marries Adam and stays in the castle.

28. Belle leaves the castle gate open so that the wolves can get in later. 29. This is how all horror movies start, Belle. Stop exploring the abandoned castle. 30. The Beast hesitates to let Belle stay even though she's a girl and can break the curse, as opposed to Maurice who is an old man and...cannot. 31. I don't believe that after all these years of built up anger, the Beast would even feel slightly bad about keeping Belle when he could've let her go. 32. "Gaston" is a very catchy song and I enjoy it. 33. Does he own this tavern? Or does the bar just let him decorate the place with his portrait and antlers cause they think he's awesome? 34. I know no one believes Maurice that Belle is locked away, but don't they think it's suspicious that she's missing? 35. Is it a coincidence that Mrs. Potts is named Potts or do you think she was turned into a teapot BECAUSE her name was Potts? 36. And I wonder what injury Chip had to relate to being chipped. Or if he was chipped as a cup what it would translate to when he's human. 37. And similarly to Mrs. Potts, was his name Chip before or was it a result of his cup being chipped? 38. This movie has the biggest plot holes of all the Disney movies. 39. "She's so beautiful and I'm...look at me." Well isn't that the point of the curse, Beast? That she doesn't care what you look like? 40. Sometimes the Beast runs on all fours and sometimes he walks like a person. This annoys me. 41. Belle started the revolution for independent bad ass Disney princesses. 42. I know the whole point was that Adam was arrogant and selfish but I'm sure he still remembers how to treat a lady. He's still a prince. 43. Even if he was only ten, he would've had etiquette lessons. 44. I want a talking wardrobe. It would stop me from looking like a twelve year old when I left the house. 45. Why are all of the enchanted objects the only French people in this entire French town? 46. I'm not gonna lie, if I were Belle, I'd let everyone stay enchanted. I mean, who wouldn't want dishes that move on their own or a stove that cooks for you? It's a lazy person's dream come true. 47. "Be Our Guest" is a fun song too and I like the dance sequence. Thank you, Alan Menken, for all you have done for Disney music. 48. Does anyone else think this song would make a great club banger if it were remixed? I'd dance to it.

49. After all of that, she didn't even eat. I would never let that food go to waste. 50. "If it's not baroque, don't fix it" all of these classic lines are cut from the live action and I didn't know I missed them until now. 51. Honestly, I'm a curious person too, and I'd definitely go up to the West Wing to explore. 52. The promise of a library would distract me more than my need to find out what was in the West Wing. 53. I still don't know why Belle would take the glass off. It's protected for a reason! 54. On the other hand, it IS enchanted, so nothing probably would've happened. 55. Look how easy it is for her to leave. 56. Was Philippe out there the whole time in this blizzard? That is not safe. 57. There really are a LOT of wolves in this forest. 58. The wolves waited until the Beast showed up to attack his gigantic self, instead of attacking a tiny girl when they had the chance. 59. Belle yelling at the Beast as he yells at her is so me. 60. She's not my favorite princess, but she is certainly the one I identify with the most. 61. Sorry, Gaston, but throwing Maurice in an insane asylum won't make her want to marry you more. 62. I want a puppy slash foot rest. It's the best of both worlds. 63. "I've never felt this way about anyone" says the Beast, who has we know was ten when cursed. And in that time, he has been a beast. So when would you have had time to fall in love? 64. Honestly a library would get me. Especially that one. It's freaking gorgeous. What I could do with a library like that.

65. Men, if you have a library, I'm available. 66. I wonder how long it's been. Has she been gone for a day? A week? I need answers. 67. I know he's been an animal for ten years but I'm sure he remembers how to use a spoon. 68. "Something There" is actually an adorable song. 69. Cogsworth says they have twelve hours to create the most romantic setting before the last petal falls, but there's no way the rest of the movie takes place in only twelve hours. 70. Why do only some of the objects in the castle have faces and can talk? 71. I have the extended edition with the bonus song "Human Again" and I highly recommend listening if you haven't heard it. 72. Does anyone else think it's a recipe for disaster that a candle is in love with a feather duster? The Enchantress is a troll. 73. There's like five petals left on the rose. I just feel like I should point that out. 74. "Beauty and the Beast" is yet another iconic song by Menken and the animation in this scene is absolutely gorgeous.

75. I wish I could pull off that kind of yellow without looking like a pasty child. 76. If I had a mirror that showed me what I wished to see, I would use to spy on Zac Efron. 77. Belle leaving doesn't necessarily mean she was never coming back, she just needs to go save her father real quick. 78. Also we already knew she loved him at this point so the curse should technically be broken. Maybe she has to say it. 79. The owner of the asylum is the creepiest man ever. 80. Maurice sees all these people mocking him yet still chooses to rant about the Beast. 81. I think it's cool that the only reason Gaston wants to go after the Beast is because Belle would rather fall in love with someone who looked like an animal than someone who was handsome. 82. This scene with all the furniture attacking the villagers is the best. 83. Chip saves the day and cements his place as my favorite character in this movie. 84. Gaston has a bow and arrow instead of the guns he talked about having which is great for us watching but not efficient for Gaston's plan. 85. This fight between Gaston and the Beast is seriously intense. 86. Fun fact: you can see skulls in Gaston's eyes as he falls off the tower.

87. Belle saying "it IS you!" is the dumbest freaking line in any Disney movie. HE CHANGED RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE. 88. God that part always annoyed me, especially because she knew he was cursed, saw his portrait as a human so she knows what he looks like, and, once again, changed right in front of her. She's not stupid and I'm not sure why the animators made her say that. 89. Sorry, I have a lot of feelings about this. 90. I wonder if Belle still would've chosen to kiss him if he was still covered in fur. 91. 10/10 would watch a movie of just Lumiere and Cogsworth. 92. I would ship Mrs. Potts and Maurice, not gonna lie.

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ahumanintraining · 7 years

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@vanro-marand asked: Shallura: the school teacher and the sheep herder AU I have no idea where this came from my brain is weird lol.

note: no problem, my friend. this prompt will actually do just fine. (also sorry about the delay — who knows why this took so long.) also i interpreted ‘sheep herder’ very loosely. also i got carried away, this turned longer than it should have lol.

Ms. Altea sighs exasperatedly when she looks behind herself at the analog clock, seeing the minute clock tick to the hour.

Recess is over, and unfortunately for the elementary school teacher, this also means it is time to herd in all the children.

Her record isn’t good — she takes an average of 15 minutes of gather all the young ones back into the classroom and then another 20 minutes to get them settled proper, and honestly the only way she’s been able to keep the children on track for their times tables is by skipping out on their ‘free reading’ sessions so that she at least has enough time to pass out worksheets for homework (she’s learned that prevents the occasional parent phone call).

So Ms. Altea takes a deep breath and adjusts her heels before she steps out to the playground, ready to run after the boundless schoolchildren, but she is remarkably surprised to see all the children gathered just outside double doors.

She blinks twice, staring down at the children confusedly before she raises her head up to the gentle grin of the one and only:

“Oh, Mr. Shirogane!” she laughs nervously.

“Takashi,” the fifth-grade teacher insists, offering his first name to her. “And well, after seeing you chase after the little ones, I thought I might help you out a bit. I would hate to see you trip and fall,” he remarks, gesturing down at her heels.

She inadvertently looks down at her shoes. “Well...” she breathes out, searching her mind for an appropriate and quick answer. “You seem to have quite the talent for getting class back in session — I don’t know if I’d be able to pay you back the favor.”

He smiles, laughing once. “Just promise me a little extra credit on the next test, will you?” he teases.

Her eyes widen briefly — no, no, these are not thoughts she should be thinking in an elementary school, she reprimands herself. She swallows and composes herself.

“Well, I really do appreciate it… Takashi,” she thanks him, trying not to stare too long at his very pleasant-looking face.

“Of course,” he replies. “And please let me know if you need me at all in the future.” He leans forward a little, voice soft. “You know where my classroom is.”

“Th-That I do,” she stutters, laughing and covering her mouth in an attempt to cover up the warmth of her cheeks.

He doesn’t help her flushed face by continuing to watch her with his dark eyes, the most brilliant smile cracked over his lips. His smile grows a little wider and his head tilts slightly as he sees her laugh again.

“Ms. Altea!” one of her students shouts up at her. “Can I go to the bathroom?”

“Yeah, me too!” another one chimes in.

“Ah, yes! Of course,” she immediately responds, shaking herself out of what seemed like a very intimate moment between the other teacher and herself.

She steps forward to take back responsibility of her students, but then her foot hiccups and her heel gives and suddenly she’s falling and —

She doesn’t have to look up to know that he’s caught her. She doesn’t want to look up because if she’s afraid her heart might just beat out of her chest, but she does anyway, and he has never looked any more handsome, just inches away.

“Th-thank you,” she tells him slowly, realizing her hands are on his chest and realizing that he’s wearing the slightest bit of cologne.

“Like I said,” he replies, with the shadow of a smirk. “I would hate to see you trip and fall.”

send me an AU and a ship and i’ll write you a three-sentence fic!

#shallura #shiro #allura #shiro x allura #voltron #voltron: legendary defender #vanro-marand #lol oops i had to make this a complete separate post because it got so long #so much for three sentence fic LOL #i sincerely feel like i need to continue this but i have no plans so i'm not going to promise anything

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survivor-switzerland · 7 years

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Rites of Passage (Pre-Jury)

It is time for the Rites of Passage. Take this time to reflect on your journey in this game as well as the people who left for you four to be where you are now. Right now, we are only releasing pre-jury Rites of Passage. The jury Rites of Passage will be released after the season is over. Please play the audio and enjoy your experience.

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Signing up for this game I knew it was going to be more cutthroat then other seasons (with being voted in and everything). Mentally I just wasn't in a place to rise to the occasion like I wanted. I wish everyone good luck and to have fun. xoxo Steven

Ashley Daisy Trent Steven Ci'ere - sorry I never had opportunity to know any of you but there's always another game!! I think you guys were robbed and should get a third chance but that's just my opinion

Brett I didn't get to meet Steven, but I thought it was rude to vote off the person with the worst finish first. Very Francesca. But the joke's on them, Steven, because you at least advanced your placement! Not everyone here can say that!

Dom Hi I don't really know you at all but you got rocked out of your first season and first boot on this season. That's really ugly and I'm sorry that you went home first boot. You seemed nice though!

Ian I never got to know you which kinda sucks. Your vote out was savage and it served as a testament on how savage people are in this season.

I'd like to thank the hosts for putting together an incredible season and a special thanks to everyone who voted for me and was rooting for me. I'm so sorry to disappoint you. I let you all down but mostly I let myself down. I don't know if I could have done anything differently, I don't know if I could have saved myself. To the few people who I did connect with, I'm rooting for you. Make me proud and do what I couldn't do! (Insert Mari Salty video because it just needs to be there lmao)

Ashley ROBBED KING!!!!! Your time was cut way too short!!!!! You should have slayed this game!!!

Brett My original #1 and partner in crime! I was devastated when he left and I told myself "No one who wrote your name down is going to win this game." I'm glad I could honor him. I hope everyone here gets to know him better because he's one of the most fantastic humans I've ever met.

Dom I've heard wonderful things about you from Brett. You were definitely so robbed and it's so ugly that you got second boot.

Ian I love dogs so you’re good in my book. You were robbed and I have heard nothing but good things from you.

Coming into this game, I wanted to play differently and be a lot more aggressive when it came to decision making. My tribe targeted people I wanted to work with and I didn't like that and when I don't like something I'm not gonna just sit there and eat my rice. I'm not a sheep, I'm a KWEEN. I tried to take a risk by planting seeds in the minority's head about a player having way too much power and control so that we could take them down, but someone screwed that up huh. You could say I was too smart for my own good. I'm so thankful to the hosts for giving my flop a$$ another opportunity to play and to everyone that voted for me on the ballot! <3 P.S. Drew, when are we going on our key lime pie date? :]

Brett My hometown hero! I was bummed our Long Beach hearts weren't paired together on the same tribe.

Dom MY FELLOW ARABIA!!! We didn't get to play in Arabia together so I was really looking forward to playing with you this season. Unfortunately, your tribe voted you out so we didn't get that chance. You're super cool though!

Ian Your vote out had me shook. We talked briefly during the voting of the community and I really liked our short conversation! I wanted to work with you in this game but sadly we weren’t able to.

well i had a nice quick run! honestly these people were sucky, whoever wins is probably gonna be very boring. i wish i could say i had more regrets but i played headstrong, and almost turned things around for me once we swapped. if only i hadn't had a life for a night!

Brett The fact that we weren't swapped together KILLS me. I think the world of him. Congrats on graduating this week, too!

Dom I don't know you but you seemed cool.

Ian I never got the chance to talk to you but I think the shoes you sent during the endurance challenge were nice!

My time in Switzerland was kind of a rollercoaster honestly. I felt like I was at the top of an alliance for a while but something totally out of my control screwed that up for me. I respect everyone's decisions for voting me out. It probably made sense for a lot of your games (except one or two people, who I won't name but... you know who you are. I would've been loyal as fuck). The only thing I still don't understand, is whoever told me I was too paranoid in their voting confessional. I had every right to be paranoid. I was voted out, so clearly there was something to be paranoid about. But anyways. Here I am. I hope whoever the jury votes for is a deserving winner!

Brett Daisy wears lipstick.

Dom Ahhhh daisy I think we were on a tribe together at the start. You definitely got screwed over and I'm so sorry that happened to you. You are such a delight.

Ian Another person I never got the chance to talk to. Your lipstick looks nice though :)

Me, rising from my bed to look at the rest of this season: wait what oh yall are cute i guess hope u had fun tru

Ashley Lily- we didn't have long enough to get to know each other well but you seem cool and maybe we'll get a chance to play in the future!!

Brett Thank you for enouraging my crimes more than anyone here!

Dom Ahhh Lily hi. You were SO robbed. I was looking forward to working with you because you're just such an icon.

Ian You were interesting to talk to. I was shocked that you were voted out. In any case, I loved that time during the selfie challenge where we were kinda the only ones up and you tried staying up until the sunrise and you couldn’t handle it anymore.

the only one-Justin Bieber ft. Chance the rapper.mp3

Ashley Renee - you seemed to be a fierce competitor so I'm sad we didn't get much time to play together. You seem nice and I really hope we have chance to actually work together soon.

Brett I liked her a lot! It just wasn't smart to let her go any further. But the first thing I told her when I met her at swap #2 was that she had a brilliant audition tape and she looked beyond cute in Monte Rosa 2.0's music video. The star of that tribe for sure!

Dom You voted yourself out. ICONIC. You're super sweet and I think you're wonderful!!

Ian I’m writing this last because you deserve an essay, heck even a paragraph for this because you don’t know how sorry I am for voting you out. The moment I saw you in the voting pool I knew I wanted to work with you. The moment you got cast, I knew I really really wanted to work with you. The moment we finally got into a tribe together I was pumped, overjoyed and excited to finally be able to work with you. I picked you first because I wanted the chance to finally re-write our story that had an ending we didn’t want in Bora Bora. The moment we lost that escape room challenge, I knew you were in trouble. We tried figuring something out, and I told you to try and talk to people. However when I woke up the next day, everyone was saying your name. It was gut wrenching having to see people message me that they only heard the name ‘Renee’ on who to vote out. It killed me not contacting you, because I couldn’t do a thing about it. Maybe I could have done something to save you but either way I didn’t do anything to save you. Voting you out was one of the most painful thing I had to do because I essentially was responsible for you being voted out because I picked you on my tribe. During the tribal council call, I don’t know if people noticed but I was really crying at that time or I had just finished crying. I can’t really remember. It’s my fault that you got voted for out and for that I wanna say that I’m deeply sorry and I hope that once this is over we can still chat from time to time.

I’m mostly just bitter about getting the same placement I did on my first season, but at least I didn’t do worse, right? If the 2 who said they couldn’t save me had tried, I would have lived. Also my fuck you was filled with irony, there’s really only hard feelings to one of you, and to that one, I have this:

Ashley Logan - robbed!!!! Stupid swap !!! You should have come back to us!!! At least we avenged you!!! You know you deserve so much more!!! You are the best and I will always look forward to games with you!!

Brett When he got voted out, I just wanted him to STAY. A MINUTE. JUST TAKE. YOUR TIME. THE CLOCK. IS TICKING. If I could describe Logan as one word, it would be "brave." He came to me early in the game with some things he had heard before the game started and he made me promise I would come to my own conclusions about him and I'm glad I held up my end of the deal. Dom OH MY GOD YOU WERE THE MOST ROBBED PREMERGE BOOT. I LITERALLY WAS SO UPSET THAT YOU GOT VOTED OUT!!! YOU AND NICK WERE MY CLOSEST ALLIES I'M SO SORRY THAT PEOPLE ARE UGLY. I HAVE NOTHING BUT LOVE FOR YOU <3 Ian Coming into this game I was scared of you tbh. You literally had connections with almost everyone in the cast. I’m sorry for calling you a “her” or a “mother” on several occasions lol, thanks for taking the time to correct me. Also I’m still waiting on that tarot card reading you were gonna give me.

Okay so. This wasn’t the worst season I’ve ever played but y’all seriously need to up your social games. I had a lot of fun with my OG Monte Rosa mates, but in the end, most of the players of my last tribe made no effort to talk to me, were completely sloppy in their attempts to blindside, and generally killed the vibe for me. I always love making friends in these games, so thanks to the few of you I can say I connected with. But as for the rest of you, good luck with your future ORG careers and I wish you much improvement in the social and subtlety departments (y’all were projecting wanting me gone since day one of that swap let’s be real), and also like. You know, fun :P

Ashley Maximilian- you were amazing!!! I wish we had talked more cause you are talented and seem like a great competitor!! Our time was so great together and sadly the swap led to your vote out but we avenged you!!! I hope to see you in other games!!!

Brett Thank you for editing that music video.

Dom You were really shady to me when we were on the same tribe. When you got screwed over on the tribe swap, I was upset because you're actually super nice and fun.

Ian You were always an enigma in this game. I couldn’t really get a proper read on you, but you were the first person I talked to in the tribe so that’s something hahaha. Good luck with your films!!

#ihopeiseeyounever #rites of passage

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