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cutebutstillsingle · 4 years

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Boof. A hard one to admit for SO many people. This was/is totally me. This is likely so many people I know who remain single or divorced into their 30s and beyond.

Even though you operate in an adult’s body, you can be hella old, and still operating with the heart of the childhood you or the heart of twenty- something you, who still was relationally immature. If you are watching your fertile window come and go while remaining single, ladies, you may be relationally immature. If you’re still in your 30s, gents, and are not yet in that mainframe of desiring to settle down, you are probably relationally immature.

If you are struggling to sustain romantic relationships, I would even go so far as to say that your perpetual singledom is like a firetruck siren of a signal from your heart that you have some therapeutic work that may need to do.

Relational immaturity specifically addresses the “relationships” slice of your overall maturity birthday cake. You might be doing just fine living in your own dwelling. You might be killing’ it at your job. You might know how to boil some water and do your taxes. Maybe you have traveled the world. But that doesn’t mean you have mastered relational maturity. If there are other aspects of your life that you can reflect upon as “not yet in an ideal state”, those other incomplete areas of your life may be linked to your relational maturity.

It is worth mentioning that relationships must be mature across multiple relationship arenas: with your own body, mind and heart. With God if you are spiritual, with your family, with your friends, and with your professional colleagues at school or work. These relationships all fall under “relational maturity”.

And then of course, your romantic relationships will be impacted by your relational maturity even more so, because these tend to be the most emotionally intimate and vulnerable. Unlike your family or your job, your romantic interest or partner is under zero obligations and is not incentivized by any business perks to stay with you. All of your relationships will be somewhat interconnected, believe it or not. You can’t show up as an outstanding business partner at work if you are trashing yourself by not eating well, not sleeping enough, and if your brain is pumping with negative self-talk. If you’re having drama with a friend you may not be as clearheaded at work or in your romantic partnership. If you have struggles or drama in your family, you may not show up in your romantic relationship as your best self. Etc. So it’s all kind of comprehensive.

For me (takes a deep breath because this is about to be very vulnerable), I noticed myself struggling in professional settings, essentially struggling over and over to get along peacefully with anyone who failed to meet my mind’s expectations of that role, and they disappointed me in any way. Even if my expectations were 100% reasonable, because perhaps anyone hired in that role should probably be able to do X, Y, or Z in order to even be considered for hire, if that person disappointed me in any way and failed to do X, Y, or Z, it put us on the fast track to our relationship either dissolving or hitting a major bump in the road.

I observed myself in over a five year long pattern of job hopping and struggles with professional relationships. I would say yes to a job, then discover that certain key players at the job majorly sucked to work with, all my favorite colleagues would quit, or that some seriously shady secrets would come to light about how that company operated.

Then I would begin the hunt for a new job for the following year in the same industry, hoping that maybe, somewhere out there, not all companies in this industry sucked. Five plus years later, I think it’s safe to say that yes, maybe they all actually DO suck in that particular industry. Because they were all shady after at least three tries to find a good job. Once, and it could be a one off. Twice, and you start to wonder, and it may not be a coincidence. Three times, and it is no longer a coincidence-- it is a pattern. And yet, I was the one failing to pivot and adjust my approach to finding job satisfaction.

There are some definite parallels to romantic satisfaction here, so read on if you have time...

I would wonder things like, “Why do I keep choosing these professional positions where the people constantly display shadiness or appalling levels of incompetence? Why don’t any of the best professionals at the job stay hired, but all the crappier employees stay hired for like, decades? Should I also keep it moving? [the answer was “yes”! But I was too naive to realize it].

Why wasn’t I able to learn after the first, or maybe the first two disappointments, and adjust course out of this entire field if they all seem to display these relational patterns I don’t thrive under?”. There were some colleagues and bosses that I had amazing professional rapport with amidst all of this, but the (pardon my french) f*ckery of the people in key decision-making roles usually drove all the best employees out the door.

I also wondered, “ Why were certain people able to tolerate or even thrive in what I considered and knew in my heart to be toxic work cultures, while I was deeply troubled by them? Why did my job dick me around so ruthlessly, but if I looked at other colleagues, the job would never dare to do the same shady things to them?”.

Sometimes I observed that the very same boss was like a gracious, generous angel to specific colleagues, and then full on illegally shafting me or others, in the very next breath. Why was this the case? Further more, the most puzzling question of all: Why was I able to have phenomenal professional relationships with some of my colleagues, that lasted long after we both left the job and which I am able to maintain to this very day? But with other colleagues who couldn't meet my standards professionally, or who were outright shady, unethical and unscrupulous to me, the connection for even a basic “we don’t even have to be friends whatsoever outside of this building, but let’s get this work done on a respectable and amicable level” was impossible.

It took a lot of therapy to figure this all out. Yes, the issues were likely rooted in my dysfunctional childhood. Yes, the issues were probably exacerbated by a couple of highly unusual and definitely relationship-related traumas that I faced in my early adulthood. And yes, the issues were not helped by these blind spots I had about how to have relational discernment and tactical knowledge for how to approach these types of relational situations. In a nutshell, relational immaturity manifested in my professional life. Because other people would fully have no problems navigating these situations. But I did. And I see the exact same patterns and struggles romantically.

I hope that I have since developed an awareness around my issues; and that I now know enough to avoid or overcome these situations next time I’m in a promising romantic relationship, and in my professional relationships moving forward.

If you sense that you might benefit from therapy, I strongly encourage you to seek it out. Just the ability to admit to yourself “I might need help from a trained professional to figure out the root of these emotional struggles” is you, becoming more mature as an adult. Because it takes courage and insight to realize when we need more help than we are able to find on our own.

If you think you can’t afford therapy, it would surprise you to discover that there are ways to make it affordable. For example, many college campuses give the students free personal counseling by default. So take advantage of that in your twenties or during grad school. Christian churches and other organizations offer personal counseling with bona fide therapists-in-training, who just need to get their hours completed under the supervision of a licensed therapist before they can officially get licensed themselves, and fly solo. There is therapy online. Your basic medical health coverage may cover therapy, unbeknownst to you. Even free governement-issued health coverage may still include personal counseling.

If the thought of talking to a therapist absolutely horrifies you, because it is too “mental” and you can’t even handle the thought that you have “mind problems”, I would encourage you to reframe what “therapy” can be. The words “therapy”, and “mental health” completely turn me off. I don’t even want to begin to suggest that I possess, or to have anyone else label me as having “mental issues” when I know myself; and I know my mind is perfectly intact. I’m just struggling in certain areas of my own personal success.

Rather than defining this type of help as “mental health”, or even “therapy” that isn’t physical therapy, I would encourage you to choose to reframe it as “emotional intelligence training” and “self development”, under the umbrella of “personal counseling”. I am WAY more comfortable with the title of “personal counseling” than I am with the labels of “therapy” and “mental health”. Just because you are seeking personal counseling for issues that are not related to your physical body, and you may need a little more help for problems that may be rooted in your past or in your emotional wellbeing, it does not mean you have a mental health problem.

I severely wish all personal counseling services everywhere would step into 2020 and re-label themselves under a much-needed umbrella of “social-emotional wellness services”. This would totally strip the taboo for people to seek out these highly beneficial services; and encourage all wellbeing practitioners to practice under this umbrella. Things like yoga, meditation, mental illness, personal counseling, couples counseling, family counseling, postpartum depression and anxiety, PTSD, and substance abuse-- all of this kind of stuff should be considered "social-emotional wellness services”, because they are all social-emotional issues. They are matters of the heart, mind, emotions, and relationship.

If you’re like “yeah f*ck reframing-- I am not down with therapy at all, sorry”, there are a lot of beneficial podcasts on relationships that can begin to help you tap into your emotional core in private, and maybe help you get some insight on any past relationship traumas or relationship patterns. There are amazing life coaches with free youtube videos that can help people.

Some of my absolute favorites are:

- “Stephan Speaks”

- heart of dating podcast (christian)

- Mark Manson

- Zen Habits

- Amy Chan / Renew Breakup Bootcamp

- Matthew Hussey (I would recommend more of his recent stuff, and less of his gamey, ‘how to get the guy’ manipulative kinda stuff).

I have another resource that is absolutely phenomenal; but not everyone is ready for that level of truth. And it does come from a christian man. If you’re intrigued by that, willing to be vulnerable, willing to hear harder truths, and especially if you consider yourself a Christian man or woman, send me a direct message on tumblr and I’ll send you the name of one of the most transformative relationship coaches I have ever found.

#relationships #relationship advice #breakups #healing #personal counseling #Do I need therapy?#Date Better #learn #grow #heal #know thyself #emotional intelligence #social intelligence #relationship tips #maturity #immaturity

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commentaryvorg · 4 years

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Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 5.21

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time as we finally reached the end of the main part of trial 5 (trial 5!!!!!!!!!), I still doubted Kokichi had consciously predicted Shuichi would figure everything out, Kaito hinted again at his true motives and this time Shuichi finally got it, Shuichi told an incredibly risky desperate lie in a last-ditch effort to protect Kaito, and so Kaito revealed himself to protect them because of course he would, acted like everything was fine, and immediately took full responsibility for being a murderer now that there was no reason to hide it.

Now for the trial conclusion, which is also going to take multiple posts. We are still not done with this trial yet.

Monokuma: “Well, if the culprit’s gonna confess, then I guess even morons can’t screw this up…”

He’s making it clear once again that he couldn’t afford to screw this up and didn’t know the answer until Kaito confessed. More indication that there’s most likely an audience! This next-best outcome that Kaito was gunning for really did work out quite well.

Shuichi: “…”

Maki: “…”

Kaito: “So you all got it right, huh? Even Shuichi and Maki Roll voted for me… What a relief! Well, I knew you guys wouldn’t get it wrong.”

If he’s calling it a relief, then it seems like despite believing they wouldn’t get it wrong, there was a tiny part of Kaito that was afraid they might try and run away from the truth. (Probably Maki in particular, after the Argument Armament of her doing just that.)

(This line is possibly the only actual reason the game forces you to vote correctly, since Kaito explicitly mentions it here.)

Tsumugi: “…”

Kaito: “But man was it hard to act like Kokichi the whole time.”

Hah, I bet it was. But I wonder what Kaito really means here when he says it was “hard”. I don’t think he’s talking about simply the intellectual challenge of getting his intonation right while reading the script and thinking of the right things to ad-lib, because that’s part of Kaito’s talent in communication and understanding people and would have come more naturally to him than to most others. I think he’s really talking about how emotionally difficult it was for him to put on that mask and pretend to be a selfish insincere asshole, when that couldn’t be further from who he really is and he cares so much about being open and sincere about his intentions and his character.

Kaito: “I mean, sure, he wrote most of his own lines. Seriously, look at this huge script. He wrote the whole thing. It’s even got a bunch of alternate lines for different events, too.”

See, while this line’s purpose is primarily to establish that there was a script at all, Kaito does seem to be implying that simply following the script wasn’t precisely the hard part.

Himiko: “…”

Kaito: “But even so, I still had to ad-lib. You guys couldn’t tell though, huh?”

You are not giving yourself nearly enough credit, Kaito! From the way he says this, it just sounds like he only ad-libbed a handful of lines here and there, when really he was ad-libbing for at least half the trial! Even a bunch of bits which hypothetically could have been scripted by Kokichi sounded a lot more like Kaito was ad-libbing them!

…But of course Kaito doesn’t care about giving himself credit. This whole upcoming explanation is about letting his friends understand how and why he did this to give them peace of mind, not about making himself look good. He could take this opportunity to stress how much of a hero he just was, but unlike someone who felt the need to let everyone know what an awesome evil villain he was, Kaito does not need to do that kind of thing here. If this were chapter 4 or the beginning of chapter 5, he may well have done – but he’s grown past that now.

And, yeah, apparently, nobody could tell it was him. I may have been pointing out all of the hints that Exisal Kokichi wasn’t acting quite like the real Kokichi, but none of the students, nor Monokuma, noticed any of it! Kaito didn’t pull his role off perfectly, but he did it well enough that it is not his fault that the plan failed at all. He successfully did a thing, as in a thing that was making a difference with his actions and not just inspiring someone else with words, like he’d always wanted to do so badly! Perhaps this one was more successful than the other things Kaito has tried to do because this one was still basically about using words, which is what Kaito is best at.

Keebo: “…”

Kaito: “Hey, c’mon guys… Don’t look so sad… You guys got it right. It’s all good.”

Kaito has of course not been oblivious to everyone else’s distraught reactions to this, but in true Kaito fashion, he’s been as upbeat and positive as possible to try and keep their spirits up. It doesn’t matter that he’s going to die so long as they’re all safe, right?

This is very, very similar to how things went immediately after the vote in Kaede’s trial, where she was just happy that they voted right and would all be safe, while everyone else (including Kaito, of course) couldn’t believe she could be so okay with this. The Kaito and Kaede parallels are so good.

Maki: “Why… did you kill Kokichi? You were against the killing game… So why did you kill him? I believed… that you absolutely wouldn’t do… such a thing…”

Maki is so used to a world where killing is just what people do, but… not Kaito. Kaito was the one who started dragging her out of that world. He of all people shouldn’t have been able to do this, surely?

It also feels here like Maki might be upset in particular at the idea that Kaito played the killing game, since he’s always so strongly been about not playing it and even always phrased his persuading Maki not to kill anyone in that way. It seems she still doesn’t realise that Kaito was so against the killing game that he eventually grew desperate enough to kill for the chance to end it, just like Kaede did, even if that would inevitably result in him continuing to “play” it for a little while.

Shuichi: “Maki…” (Was she protecting Kaito… or just believing in him, like me…?)

Finally Shuichi gets it. Protecting Kaito in the context she supposedly did it in wouldn’t have made any sense. She just couldn’t bear to believe that he’d kill anyone.

And now it’s flashback time. Time to hear a lot more from Kokichi even though he’s dead.

Kokichi: “I-I’ve been thinking… this whole time… of a plan to throw the mastermind off guard…”

This whole time. You know, just in case it wasn’t clear enough that he had the main gist of the plan figured out by at least chapter 4 and therefore that his moves in chapter 4 were entirely a part of that plan and had nothing to do with a mercy kill.

Kokichi: “But y’know… I prepared a bunch of stuff… Like this remote control… I had Miu make it… The mysterious message in the courtyard… Using Gonta and making him a murderer… All that preparation was just to make you guys think I was the mastermind.”

Please note, because this is very important, how Kokichi still isn’t accepting a single shred of responsibility for Miu and Gonta’s deaths. All he did was “make Gonta a murderer”, but that doesn’t mean that he murdered Miu, or that he murdered Gonta either, nope, totally not. If Kokichi was ever, at all, under any circumstances, going to acknowledge that he killed them even though a part of him really didn’t want to, that he was going way further than was necessary to convince everyone he was the mastermind, that he regretted it as soon as he’d done it but couldn’t turn back and felt he should at least continue his plan anyway so it wasn’t a waste… it would be now, right before his death, when he’s going to be more honest than ever before about certain things and has nothing to lose.

But no. He doesn’t. He never shows any remorse for the two murders he committed. I’m not saying he never secretly feels pain over what he did – but he never admits that he was wrong. Right up to the end, Kokichi remained completely incapable of ever admitting to being wrong in any capacity.

Kaito: “Wh-What the hell? Why’d you do all that…?”

Kaito was understandably quite bewildered at why he thought murdering two people was worth it just for that. Under normal circumstances, I imagine Kaito might have tried harder to get him to acknowledge his responsibility for those deaths, just like he was trying to do at the end of trial 4 – but they didn’t have much time and had more pressing things to be talking about at that moment, unfortunately.

Kokichi: “The reason why… I pretended to be the mastermind… was to end this boring killing game!”

It’s a very Kokichi thing to just call anything he likes “fun” and anything he hates “boring”, even though that’s not how those words should actually be used at all. This killing game is a lot of awful things, but everyone has been so busy suffering and fighting to survive that none of them can possibly have ever been bored. But no, Kokichi hates this killing game, so it must be boring, that’s how this works, right.

Kokichi: “I thought if I showed you the despairing truth, you guys wouldn’t want to go outside anymore… I thought it would end the killing game.”

Liar. Both about the fact that it’s the truth they saw, and also that he did that with the intent of ending the killing game. He could have ended it by showing them the outside world in chapter 4 if he’d wanted to so badly! And didn’t he just say that he’d been planning something like this this whole time? If he had an entire script prepared, if he had Miu make him Electrobombs to blind Monokuma, there’s no way he wanted showing them the outside to end anything.

Since this is a lie, apparently Kokichi figured Kaito just didn’t need to know the full truth of his intentions, making it likely that he saw Kaito as just a pawn to him and not a real partner in crime. But I guess there is the question of why Kokichi would even bother to lie about this. Maybe he thought that if he presents himself like he was righteous all along and that showing them the outside was an attempt to save them rather than just another manipulative step in his plan, it’d make Kaito a little more likely to co-operate with him.

Kokichi: “But instead… this happened. I’m gonna die by Maki’s hands… Why do you think this happened? Why do you think Maki tried to kill me? Why do you think the killing game started again?”

Kaito: “Why…?”

Kokichi: “Because the true mastermind instigated it. I’m certain of it.”

If he really is as certain of this as he sounds, then that definitely supports that it’s something he would have predicted would happen in response to showing everyone the outside world.

Maki: “…My actions were instigated by the true mastermind? B-But that can’t be… The reason I decided to kill Kokichi was… because I remembered the truth from the Flashback Light.”

It sure would be nice if Kokichi had informed Kaito that he suspects Flashback Lights don’t show real memories and that could be how the mastermind manipulated Maki. But nah, that’s got nothing to do with making his plan succeed, so no point in doing that.

Keebo: “They expected us to target Kokichi once we remembered he was a Remnant of Despair?”

Shuichi: “Kokichi certainly expected it. That’s why he talked about the true mastermind.”

Haha, yeah. “Expected it”, not figured it out after the fact. I wonder if Shuichi has a vague inkling that being targeted was part of Kokichi’s plan all along.

Shuichi: (But… even so, this is all rather convenient for the true mastermind. The person claiming to be the mastermind just so happened to be a Remnant of Despair?)

It sure is, isn’t it, Shuichi! It’s almost like maybe he wasn’t really a Remnant of Despair after all, despite what you remember.

Kaito: “I didn’t know about that Flashback Light. Guess that’s another mystery for you.”

Kaito has no idea what they’re talking about with these Remnants of Despair and this Flashback Light, but eh, whatever’s going on with that, he knows Shuichi’ll be able to figure it out in the end, it’s not important right now.

Kokichi: “But it doesn’t matter… we can’t lose… This game is pointless… unless you win.”

Who cares if the game is pointless anyway? Everyone sensible in here wanted everybody to escape, so that the game was pointless because it didn’t kill any of them. What Kokichi’s really alluding to here is the way that finding himself in this game terrified him, and he told himself that his suffering from that would be pointless unless he lashed out in revenge for it and won. And then he clung to the thought that that’d make it worth it in the end, through everything, including murdering two people and giving Monokuma two incredibly exciting trials and every other terrible decision he made.

Kokichi accused Kaede at the end of her trial of falling into Monokuma’s trap the moment that the thought of killing someone entered her head, because in doing that she was still playing the game. But Kokichi was guilty of making the exact same mistake the moment the thought of winning entered his. Because to win, you also have to play the game and give Monokuma what he wants in the meantime, regardless of how it ends. He told himself he wasn’t “playing” it, not really, not so long as he never became blackened, but he still very, very much was. It never occurred to him that the only winning move is not to play at all.

Kokichi: “When I’m on the verge of losing… my plan will help me win!”

I appreciate the parallel, but managing to win in the end when on the brink of defeat is Kaito’s kind of narrative, thank you. Kokichi never actually succeeded in doing that, and never deserved to. Though I guess this line is part of him desperately telling himself that all the terrible things he’s done that made everything worse will totally be worth it if he wins in the end. (They wouldn’t have, even if he had “won”.)

Kaito: “I don’t really get it, but is this the plan to throw off the mastermind?”

Of course Kaito doesn’t really get it, because he doesn’t give a fuck about winning the killing game and can’t quite figure out all of Kokichi’s obsessive talk like that’s the only sensible option.

Kaito: “The plan was… to make a case where the victim was unknown. And then trick Monokuma into thinking I was the victim so he’d mess up.”

It’s a shame that this part is just something we see Kaito explain in the present, meaning we never get to see his initial reaction to the idea that he’s going to have to fake his death and convince his friends that he died horribly. That may not be nearly as bad as the part where he’ll have to kill someone horribly, but it still can’t have been a fun prospect for him.

Kokichi: “Death games are meant to be watched. If no one was watching, there would be no reason to be such a stickler about the rules… There would be no point in making this a game in the first place…”

Kokichi sounds so completely sure about this. He understands this kind of mindset perfectly. I don’t think he doubted this for a second from the moment he found himself here.

Kokichi: “But Monokuma’s been a stickler about the rules, and about making the game interesting. That’s why he agreed to my plan in the Virtual World…”

And especially not during chapter 4, it seems. There would have been no point in asking for Monokuma’s help with that plan if he wasn’t already sure Monokuma would agree for the sake of making things entertaining. Kokichi never once believed that the outside world was destroyed.

Tsumugi: “But who’d be watching? We’re the only people left alive, aren’t we?”

Heh, of course Tsumugi is the first one to question this and try and keep the idea that that’s impossible in everyone’s heads. The outside world is definitely ruined, things are definitely still on-script, and this trial totally didn’t mess up anything at all.

Kaito: “But Kokichi mighta been right. Why have a death game if no-one’s watching? I wasn’t sure about it at first, but after this class trial, there’s no doubt. Monokuma can’t do whatever he wants. He’s bound by the rules of the game. That’s why he couldn’t afford to get the culprit wrong. Why he relied on Shuichi.”

See, this makes a lot of sense as having been Kaito’s primary goal for this trial (since he knows Shuichi is awesome enough that having the entire plan succeed was a very faint hope) – to push Monokuma into a corner and make it clear that he can’t break the rules and is beholden to an audience somewhere. Kaito’s efforts in this trial managed to prove that to himself, so the others should be convinced by this too.

Himiko: “We were friends during the trial!”

Monokuma: “…Honestly, I was just happy you guys cooperated with me. Humans love to help. They jump at any opportunity to extend a helping hand.”

So, yeah, Monokuma was of course deliberately manipulating them by acting like he was on their side and hoping that human nature would cause them to side with him without questioning it… but it is still definitely also Kokichi’s fault for presenting himself like the bigger villain such that there was even someone they could side with Monokuma against. If Exisal Kokichi had acted like he was on everyone’s side, then they might have naturally leaned towards helping him out first, before Monokuma could jump in. But nope, they fucked up, all because Kokichi just had to gloat.

Keebo: “Then who’s the true mastermind? Is it another Remnant of Despair like him?”

Monokuma: “I’m not gonna spill the beams on a perfect ‘To Be Continued’ cliffhanger like that!”

Wow, Monokuma. I guess he’s not even going to bother trying to act like there’s not an audience now that Kaito’s efforts have made that fact very obvious, but he’s also still making it sound very specifically like a story. He’s lucky nobody remaining is as perceptive as Kokichi was on that front.

Maki: “I understand Kokichi’s plan, but… why did you agree to work with him, Kaito? Why did you agree to kill Kokichi? Because he saved your life?”

No, Maki! Stop thinking like Shuichi did that this is a thing Kaito would do simply in repayment for his own survival! And also, come on, Kaito just explained that the end goal of the plan would end the killing game; surely it makes sense already.

Maki: “You should’ve just… ignored him. He’s better off dead anyway…”

It’s odd for her to say this when the alternative to ignoring him and letting him die was Kaito killing him, and therefore both options ended with him dead. So apparently what she’s really saying is “he’s better off being killed by me anyway”. Like it’s okay if she kills someone because she’s just a horrible assassin, but a good person like Kaito shouldn’t have to bloody his hands. Like (since she still doesn’t know that Kaito’s dying anyway) it’s better if she gets executed than if Kaito does.

Kaito: “It was kinda hard to ignore such an annoying guy.”

Hah. Maki knows about that kind of feeling too, thanks to you, Kaito.

Kaito: “Y-Yeah but… killing you… What are you talking about!? You want me to kill you!?”

I feel like the part Kaito is freaking out the most about here isn’t necessarily himself having to kill someone, but the fact that apparently Kokichi wants to die. (After all, it’s very Kaito to try and avoid thinking about the painful thing he might have to do by worrying about what’s going on in Kokichi’s head instead.) Someone like Ryoma was one thing, but it’s a lot harder to grasp the idea that someone as apparently full of life as Kokichi could be okay with throwing his life away just for some nonsense about winning that Kaito still can’t quite wrap his head around.

Instead of explaining why he’s so apparently happy to die (guess who also doesn’t like to think about his own problems), Kokichi points out the fact that if Kaito doesn’t kill him, Maki will become the blackened and get executed and both she and Kokichi will have died for no reason.

Kaito: “Dammit… that’s playing dirty! So that’s why you gave me the antidote!”

Still not why. It had less to do with using Kokichi’s impending death-by-Maki’s-poison to blackmail Kaito into co-operating and more to do with the simple fact that he needed Kaito to be alive for the entire trial. Kokichi should have explained the whole plan of Kaito pretending to be him by this point, since Kaito already recounted that part in the present, so I’m not entirely sure why Kaito didn’t figure that the reason for the antidote was that.

Kokichi: “Nee-heehee… I *am* the Ultimate Supreme Leader. There are no depths I won’t sink to.”

Yes, look at him gloating about being the supremest evilest, to an audience of… literally one person. He really does just instinctively want to do that even when there’s no actual point or it’s actively counterproductive to his goals. He’s also not denying that the point of giving away the antidote was blackmail even though really it was something far less sinister and far more logistical than that, just so that he can look as evil as possible.

Kokichi: “…Even if I have to sacrifice myself.”

He says this, but, consider: is Kokichi getting himself killed for this plan really much of a sacrifice? When he was already convinced from the very beginning that there was absolutely no way out of this game for him and he was definitely going to be killed one way or another, to the point that he didn’t even try to escape when he very much had the means to? At that point, if you already think your life is a lost cause, getting yourself killed probably doesn’t seem like as much of a big deal.

Kokichi’s suffering in this plan amounted to being painfully poisoned for a little while, and then going through the undoubtedly unnerving process of getting under the press while knowing what’s going to happen. That’s something, sure – but then the press descended, and everything was over for him. Kaito, on the other hand, had to deal with far more than that, for far longer: the guilt of having just ended the life of someone he knew in such a horrible way, several lonely hours of just waiting, trying to distract himself from the feeling of being a murderer by memorising the script while wondering if he’s even going to be convincing enough, watching his friends’ pain as they believe he’s dead, deceiving them, pretending to be an insincere asshole who doesn’t care even though that goes against the very core of his being, all while knowing that the plan probably won’t even properly succeed at all and that no matter how things turn out he’s still going to die at the end of it. Kaito knew he was already dying whether he liked it or not and therefore also didn’t exactly sacrifice his life – but he sacrificed so much else, and so much more in this plan than Kokichi did. Kokichi’s part in it was the easier one.

And maybe Kokichi kind of knew that. Maybe he just wanted things to be over in the quickest way available to him, a way in which he could die with some measure of twisted satisfaction, having convinced himself he was definitely going to win (whether he truly believed that deep down or not), without having to actually see any of it through and watch it possibly fail. Kokichi was always a coward, after all – and his part in the plan, as opposed to Kaito’s, kind of was the coward’s way out.

Kokichi: “We’ll bring the true mastermind and everyone who’s watching… We’ll bring them down to utter despair!”

The mastermind, maybe. Everyone who’s watching? Kokichi just gave them the best fucking Danganronpa case they’ve ever seen, and he should have damn well known that, even if it would end with this game no longer being able to function. (This particular game, not the whole series.)

Also it is in fact a coincidence that he happens to invoke the word “despair” here, since he wasn’t exposed to any of the nonsense from the Flashback Light. (Unless he’s thought about the DR1 anime that he’s apparently watched and pieced it all together. Maybe.)

Kokichi: “Then everyone who died can rest in peace!”

Yeah, Gonta and Miu, who also died pointlessly and in doing so gave the audience another incredibly exciting trial? I’m sure they’ll totally be resting in peace because of this.

I’m not entirely sure how genuine this sentiment of Kokichi’s is. On the one hand, he’s super hamming it up right now so this doesn’t seem very sincere. On the other, he did always have basic-human-decency-driven pain over the deaths, so maybe this is that part of him coming through in a very indirect way that he doesn’t have to properly acknowledge through his hamminess. It can’t possibly be the main purpose of why he did all this, though, because if that was the point then he would never have added another two victims to the list.

It’s also a very Kokichi thing that he assumes all the deceased people would be most happy at seeing him having gotten revenge, when really what they wanted the most was to see their remaining friends escape and survive. Gonta would definitely have been happier to see Kokichi survive than to see him do this.

Kokichi: “Ah-hahahahahaha!!! …Ack, aw crap. I’m gonna die soon… Can we get this started already?”

I do enjoy the immediate whiplash between his evil hamminess and his pragmatism tinged with slight vulnerability.

Kaito: “You’re seriously crazy, dude.”

Kokichi: “Nee-heehee… But, y’know… I… wasn’t boring, right?”

I’ll give him that. He sure wasn’t. And that’s exactly the problem.

Kokichi was fixated on the idea, probably even before being twisted by the killing game, that “fun” is always good and “boring” is always bad. That’s also exactly Monokuma’s mindset when it comes to making an entertaining show. They are very not-so-different, and that’s a lot of why Kokichi’s plan was an absolutely terribly counterproductive plan.

I once saw someone else note that Kokichi only calls people “not boring” when they’re about to die – first Kaede, then Kaito, then himself – which is also kind of an interesting point. Like he thinks that someone’s life’s worth is determined by how entertaining they were, even if it was cut short. This is still a very Monokuma-like mindset, since the point of Danganronpa is to have characters who are mostly going to die be as entertaining as possible until that happens, and the most popular ones aren’t necessarily the survivors but just the ones who were most entertaining while they were around.

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[Next post]

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #ndrv3 #chapter 5 #class trial #commentary

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michipeachiii · 5 years

Text

Business Planning 101 With Michi

So you want to start your own business but you don't really know where to start. You came to the right post (hopefully)! This post will serve as a general rundown of things to keep in mind as you try to set up a divination shop and hopefully point you in the right direction. By the end of this post you should be ready to fly out of the nest!

Overview

First you need to think about what the vision for your shop is. What services do you want to offer? What is your main focus/goal? Why do you want to set up a shop? What's driving you? What's your motivation? What does your dream shop look like and how can you set yourself up to get there? What kind of clients are you trying to attract?

But Michi, I'm stumped! I don't know what I want to offer or how to present myself!

Brace yourself! This post gets mighty long and I’m putting the rest of it under a read more. Before we jump into it some notes:

Disclaimer: I am not a business planner nor do I claim to be. This post is based off of my experiences as a tarot reader and additional research I’ve had to do and have simply done my best to condense all these experiences into this post.

If you enjoyed this post and want to support my work please consider buying me a Ko-Fi! I really hope you find the information helpful. If you have any questions or need me to clarify a point, let me know!

Use those divination tools!!!

You can get a good sense of things by doing a SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) analysis. Questions you can ask your tools (And keep in mind, you don't have to stick to these specific questions but hopefully they serve as a good jumpstart):

What are my strengths as a diviner?

What are my weaknesses as a diviner?

How can I work on my weaknesses?

What opportunities should I focus on/take advantage of?

Is there anything that stands in the way of my business?

How can I address this obstacle?

You can even ask what direction is your business headed, what are things you need to focus on etc. Tailor this process to your needs.

Your business is an extension of you. It's okay to let your personality and character shine through the different aspects of your business. It's okay to admire shops for what they do or how they do things but do not set yourself up to be a copy of them. It's also okay if you're unlike other shops, structuring yourself or offering things that are uncommon.

Pricing

Oh pricing, pricing. Listen, its okay to offer free readings. You are not obligated to offer free readings, you don't owe anyone free readings. However, that being said personally, I do like to offer free readings. Why? First, I think it's a good way of letting people try before they buy and it gives others a portfolio/preview of what you can offer. I know this doesn't work for everyone, and not everyone that gets a free reading will buy one from you. But it can also be a good way to remain accessible to those that can't afford to pay for a reading but still want readings. Again, this isn't something you have to do and others may opt to put their energy towards clients that will pay them for their interpretations.

Now in terms of pricing there's different angles you can take. Some people like doing cheap readings while others argue against doing cheap readings because they feel like you're communicating to your clients that you’re not good quality. Overall, the most important thing to consider is what your ideal price range is, and how you want to value your time. You might also want to factor in how long it takes you to do your readings.

The way I see it, it's how valuable is your time + how valuable is your skill. And heck you can even make it a little equation if you want? For example if your time is worth $10 an hour and you value your skill/energy at an additional $6, your hourly rate is $16. Depending on how long your readings take you might want to divide by time. (Ex. 30 minute reading $8 or X size reading takes 30 minutes so I'll price it at $8). Whatever numbers you chose are up to you, the numbers used were for example purposes only and not to be taken as a representation for what you need to use. Some people don't want to charge as much, others feel more comfortable charging less. Different people have different circumstances and needs. Other choose to price their readings/services by card/rune/question etc. Regardless of the method you use to price your services, be sure to make these prices clear wherever you chose to list your prices and how you intend on seeking payment. Just keep in mind that the higher the quality of the reading, the more people are willing to pay for it. If you give a client a sentence while charging them several dollars, they might not be too happy about that. That’s why its important to specify what they can expect beforehand.

Another thing to keep in mind is the platform you’re advertising your services on. Tumblr has a lot of young people who may be more strapped for cash, so you may have a harder time selling more expensive readings on this platform. You may consider branching out to other platforms, Redbubble, Storenvy, Etsy, Facebook, or even hosting your own website. Keep in mind that other platforms may charge you a commission fee, or other monthly maintenance fees, so again, I really encourage you to do some research and figure out what works best for you. I think something really important to keep in mind when it comes to being on a site where you have to pay some sort of fee for using the service is, making sure you make enough money off of your services to cover those costs and still be able to pay yourself. Basically, make sure these costs aren’t detrimental to your success in the long run.

There are many different services people use to accept payments and while I can’t cover each one, I can link you to a post that goes into different providers you can use to accept payments. Most people use services like Paypal and Ko-Fi. With Paypal, you have access to tools that allow you to add a widget to your Tumblr that would allow people to purchase your services directly through your Tumblr. You may also choose to use Paypal’s invoicing services to bill clients. With Ko-Fi, the person is responsible for submitting the appropriate amount of coffees that correspond to your pricing. (It may be a good idea to list your prices on Ko-Fi using their posting system for easier reference) And if you pay a monthly fee, you can use Ko-Fi Gold features to have commission slots that would close automatically once you reach your max workload (which you control). The best advice I can give you, is to research your options, figure out what the pros and cons are, and which service works best for you.

On a sidenote, if you have a Paypal, you can upgrade to a free business account and operate under a business name. This is very important if you don’t want people to know what your real name is. Ko-Fi offers similar protection in the sense that they operate as a middle man and protect your identity, while not taking a fee from you for doing so (Paypal would still take a service fee from you and this is also something to consider when you set your prices up).

Services

Different diviners offer different services but I strongly believe that regardless of the services you offer it's important to describe what those services entail and what the person can expect from said service. The description of your services should give people enough insight to be informed as to what you are offering with said service. Is it yes/no? Are you giving them a sentence? A paragraph? An email? A PDF? A public post?

Also what language can they expect in your readings? Are you a sassy reader? Do you roast your clients? Are you more formal? The theme of your readings is something important to reference so that people have a better idea of what to expect when they buy from you. Re-read your work, make sure you don’t have grammatical errors to the best of your abilities etc.

Also since majority of divination services can be really personal/ a drag, you always want to make sure that if the reading will be public, your client knows that beforehand and is okay with that.

Are you including pictures of cards in their reading? Or pictures of whatever divination device you use? If you do decide to include pictures, make sure that the quality is reasonable. (i.e: No blurry/unreadable photos) You don’t need professional equipment to make sure your pictures look good. A lot of phones have editing options that you can mess around with and get a good result. If you do decide to take pictures, make sure the surface you’re placing the cards upon is clean/neat and that the lighting is favorable. If your deck contains nudity (like mine, I use the Hermetic Deck) make sure that your client has access to this information before the reading in case they would rather opt out of the pictures.

How are you choosing to advertise your services? Are you simply making a text post or are you going to make a graphic? If you do decide to make a graphic make sure to also include written information. You want to make sure that you’re making your post accessible to others. Some people use electronic readers and electronic readers can’t read the information on pictures. When you design your graphics make sure you’re picking colors that make reading easy, not harder. This also means picking a reasonable font size as well. And if you’re in doubt finding people who can give you feedback before you officially post will be super helpful.

Policies & Ethics

Legal: If you are a resident of the United States, make sure you check local and state laws to make sure you aren't breaking any laws. A lot of states have something called a "Charlatan Law" or laws specifically against fortune telling. For example in New York state the following law exists:

Section 165.35Fortune telling A person is guilty of fortune telling when, for a fee or compensation which he directly or indirectly solicits or receives, he claims or pretends to tell fortunes, or holds himself out as being able, by claimed or pretended use of occult powers, to answer questions or give advice on personal matters or to exorcise, influence or affect evil spirits or curses; except that this section does not apply to a person who engages in the aforedescribed conduct as part of a show or exhibition solely for the purpose of entertainment or amusement. Fortune telling is a class B misdemeanor.

Now I know that many diviners do not consider themselves to be fortune tellers or find the term to be offensive, but in the legal sense anyone that does divination would (unfortunately) be considered a fortune teller. When you're writing your shop policies, be mindful of these laws. Sometimes it's sufficient to clarify that your services are for "entertainment purposes only" but always double check with a lawyer or a legal professional to make sure you've protected yourself enough.

Also, some states forbid talking about anything remotely religious with anyone under the age of 18, so be sure to check for those laws as well.

When it comes to offering your services establish what your boundaries are beforehand. You may think “Oh I’ll figure that out as I go along,” and while you may, it’s always better to know beforehand. Does the idea of people asking certain questions make you uncomfortable? Then say so in your rules. A lot of diviners, myself included have a page with rules and guidelines for perspective clients. (You can take a look at my page here to get an idea of what I’m referring to.)

Be transparent with your clients. You don’t need to tell them your whole life story but if something comes up that might interfere with the delivery of a service they order from you, say so! Your client will greatly appreciate that and will more often than not, be understanding and give you extra time. If you run into delays and don’t disclose that you need more time, it’s likely that they’ll get upset or feel negatively towards you.

Taxes

Link to post. Basically, make sure you're complying with local and state laws at all times. Also be mindful that some states may require you to register your business as an LLC. At times this may be for cash collecting purposes, and other times it may be for protection should a client seek to sue you. I cannot stress this enough, check your local and state laws.

Thank you for sticking around and reading this post until the end! I really do hope that this post has helped you or made you a bit more informed about what to do. Again, if you enjoyed this post and want to support my work please consider buying me a Ko-Fi!

This post was meant to be a very general overview and be the building blocks to a foundation you get to establish for yourself. Because it’s a general overview, I didn’t exactly go into specific details on certain topics. Again, I really encourage you to do your own research and find out what options work best for your personal situation and goals. Best of luck and happy planning! ♥

#witchblr #witches of color #divination community #business planning

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acosmicburden-blog · 5 years

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michael b jordan + cismale + he/him.┊ ❛ ━ hey, is it just me or do you hear ( the balancer’s eye by lord huron ) playing in the distance ? oh, that’s just (the emerald star ), a (lawful good) member of the league of ( heroes ). i suspect they might be (benjamin “benji” andrews), a ( twenty-six ) year old ( police officer ) with the ability to ( cosmic energy manipulation ). according to my sources, ( he ) can be ( righteous ), but also ( stubborn ) which is probably why they remind everyone of ( the brightest star in a clear night sky, a story you swear you heard when you were very young ) so much. anyway, a ( superhero ) or not, crystalline city is keeping a close eye on them!

*Swings in and does a cool superhero landing* Hey everyone! (Tom Holland Voice) I’m Peanut! Long time roleplayer, even longer time a superhero enthusiast. I haven’t been in a superhero rp in awhile, but I’m very excited to get back to this side of the community, because this is where I’ve had some of the most fun throughout my years of rping on tumblr. Without further ado, let me tell you about Benji:

- His childhood was pretty normal. No real deep rooted past traumas. Yeah of course there were issues. I mean, what childhood is perfect? But nothing that was unbearably awful or shook the very foundation of his life. Those things will come later. Most important thing to know about his childhood is that his Dad was a cop as well.

- Benji grew up knowing he wanted to follow in dear ol’ dad’s footsteps. It’s hard to be raised by a man with strong morals and an affinity for protecting and serving, and not have that rub off on you.

- Benji did well in school, and was a reasonably good athlete. For awhile, in his teenage years, he ditched the idea of being a police officer in favor of wanting to play basketball professionally. That dream carried him into college on a few scholarships, but it became apparent to him pretty quickly that while he might have been able to play pro, he wouldn’t have been able to do it at a high level, and he ultimately decided he’d rather make a difference in the world by becoming a police officer.

- He did well at the police academy. He wasn’t top of his class, but he wasn’t bottom of his class either. That was also sort of the thing with Benji; he was sort of right in the middle of the field, good, but never quite remarkable. After graduating from the academy and becoming a police officer it was the same sort of thing. He was a good cop, but he wasn’t a John Mclane or anything.

- With Benji, he was always just a little above average. Sometimes, that bothered him, not being the best at anything. Sometimes he felt like he lacked a greater purpose, or a chance to make a larger impact. Most of the time though, he was pretty content being the way he was.

- Everything changed one night while Benji was on duty. A meteor came streaking through the sky, and crashed near where he was stationed at the time. When he went to investigate it and evaluate whether it had caused any damage to public property, as soon as he got close, the meteor sucked him inside of itself. In the meteor, he was exposed to knowledge from the extinct alien race of the Shny-Dar. It had been them who had sent the meteor to the Earth, containing the secrets of harnessing the power of cosmic energy. They sent it to Earth to keep it from the hands of their conquerors, who would use it as a means to do unspeakable evils. Benji, having been the one to find the meteor, was to be the one to use those powers.

- Inside the meteor, Benji underwent training on how to utilize cosmic energy. He was taught how to use it in order to fly, how to use it to produce beams/balls of glowing green energy which could be used offensively, and how to coat his body in a veil of cosmic energy which would act as a sort of armor to dampen the effects of hostile attacks. He was also taught about the limits of the powers he now possessed. While the meteor was an endless source of cosmic energy, Benji’s human body was only capable of storing so much of that energy at one given time. The use of his powers would deplete the levels of energy inside of him and could, if he wasn’t careful, make him completely run out, unable to do anything until he returned to the meteor and “recharged” so to speak.

- Once Benji came out of the meteor, he was really unsure of what to do next. He’d always been pretty opposed to superheros, even if he did understand what they were trying to do, because it directly interfered with his ability to do his job. His dad felt even more strongly about the subject, believing all super-powered individuals were dangerous and should be contained. Yet it was hard to deny that these powers afforded Benji a chance to do even greater good. After attempting to apprehend a super villain without using his powers, and failing to do so, which very nearly resulted in the death of an innocent, Benji realized it was negligent of him to have the powers he had and not use them, and finally became a superhero. He took on the name of The Emerald Star, because the Shny-Dar had come from a galaxy with such a star, and when it shone bright in the sky, they took it to be an omen of hope, which is supposedly had at the time when they had sent the meteor to Earth during their last moments before being wiped out. It was also from this very star that they had collected the cosmic energy which was the source of Benji’s powers. (Though it’s not star energy. Because The Emerald Star isn’t actually a star at all... I could go on about this in greater detail but like, does anyone actually care?)

- Benji has been able to do a lot of good as The Emerald Star in the short amount of time that he’s been working as a superhero. However, he’s still somewhat reluctant to be a superhero at all, and the voices of the Shny-Dar inside the meteor continue to suggest that he leaves Earth behind and embraces his larger cosmic destiny, which Benji flat out refuses to do. The irony is not lost on him, that he used to find himself craving to be able to make a bigger impact, and now that he’s able to do so in a way that goes beyond Earthy bounds, he’s hesitant to embrace it. Most of all, he’s terrified of what his dad say or do if he were to find out the truth about him.

That’s basically the gisty-gist-gist! If you wanna know anything more, or need anything explained in greater detail, please feel free to hit up my IMs! I’m open for plots and connections, so bring ‘em here!

#gloryhqs.intro

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icharchivist · 5 years

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Thanks! Yeah I think it's not just Allen being beloved by Innocence so much that gives him a free pass. I do believe if every Exorcist had the desire for truth and selfless love for others that Allen had. They wouldn't be chained to the Order w/fear of falling. I think everyone has been conditioned to believe the Order/Vatican/Central is the only big good to obey they end up ignoring cases like Cross and Allen. Independant accomodators who make choices contrary to the Order. The Order does -

2 have some good parts. But overall it's so corrupted they might as well stop pretending they're even a accurate representation of what's opposite of the Noah Family. I mean I'd respect them more for being honest at any rate. =\ We don't truly know the origins of the Order. For all we know it had nefarious agendas/foundations from the start. They just promoted saving the world to attract more people or justify atrocities. Innocence doesn't care about the Order. The Order seems to not like,-

3 Innocence ether (or at at least fear it. Renee and Lveille know about Apocryphos and look terrified). The Order may not be worth saving in the end. It may cone to a point where the Exorcists have to decide serving it or following Allen's path. Lenalee and Komui could decide they not only can leave their prison. But if they want to (for all it's abuse, they made the Order their world. That's hard to separate from). The Order represents cycles of godless inhuman behaviour. Allen showed they can-

4 can leave. But only if they show the humanity to do so. If they are willing to fight and protect it for real. A way to end the war. Lenalee promise to fight if she could stay w/Komui. Kanda promised to fight to save Allen. Krory promised to fight to protect his friends (Allen and Lavi in particular). None of these tied to the Order. It's not just Exorcists. Johnny showed disgust and unwillingness to participate in the Orders crimes even before Allen left. Johnny choose humanity and choice.

I agree on how the Order mostly seem to behave in general.

I think the thing is also that I strongly believe Innocence is sentient - so while some innocence like Allen or Cross might give them a free pass, some others innocences may not be so kind. The risk of being a fallen so far seems to be only for exorcists in direct contact with their innocences (parasyte/crystal) and we have seen that despite Kanda’s will being mostly good, his innocence is still... threatening him. So I do think that the threat is well deserved because not all the innocence would be as kind as Crown Clown for instance. I personally don’t trust Lenalee’s for instance which puts her in a very difficult situation being a crystal type.

The Order is... rotten and i do believe that the best thing would be for it to be over, but so must be the war because there would be chaos would the force of the innocence be unorganized. The problem with the Order is that they should have just helped organize how to help the soliders and where to send them (what Komui did mostly) instead of “what to do to win the war” that Lveille and Renee ecouraged.

Ad there is something concerning tbh with the fact innocence let most of this slide without proper backlash. Tbh this is also one of my strong point for sentientness because Mugen in Kanda’s memories seem... so wary? of Kanda. Like... idk i see it as a stray cat for exemple which had lost its owner years ago, and had been beaten down and forced into things that didn’t want it, and now so wary about eventually coming back to its owner. There is this... sort of dicotomy where it is still possible for the Order to experience on the innocence itself and of innocence not doing anything to fight against it, whenever it can or not, if it is because it truly believe in the war or want to act for others. Miranda’s innocence’s actions were all about helping Miranda herself with no real idea of a bigger purpose, for the most part for exemple. While Lenalee’s, which Lenalee had always been clear she never wanted, ended up refusing to cooperate back with Lenalee until Lenalee proved to go further into her devotion for it.

What I’m trying to say is that for the Innocence itself the Order might be the only organization they might trust for now, and as it is now, they have shown so much sentientness it is difficult to really narrow down how much the innocence would be willing to trust its accomodator instead of the rules set in place. Even if this “trust” is just into giving them a free pass as long as their motivations are pure.

When it goes for Lenalee specifically for instance, I feel like her insistance of her being “selfish only for the people she loves” (which comes from years of abuse from the Order after all), might have her running away send a very bad message to her innocence, specifically knowing that said innocence had been.... unaccomodating and sometimes harsh with Lenalee herself. There is no way to trust her innocence would be kind to her the way Mugen, an innocence who had followed Kanda since a past life, which had seen Kanda’s tortures and have an actual bound with him*, is with him. And it’s still taking into account Kanda’s had been threatening to fall him. (*one thing i noticed upon my reread is that Kanda is one of the few if not the only one I can think of who actually talked to his innocence in some random time. In Mattell before a fight he pulled his sword and said “let’s go, Mugen.” before actually entering a fight. To me it shows a connection and companionship Kanda acknowledges. And yet this very innocence still threaten to make him fall. So what about an innocence that had had less kinship with its owner, right?)

And in a way the thing is that, all the Exorcists leaving the Order is an impossible feat as far as it goes: the Order’s army are far greater than anticipated for instances, from finders to crows and we know the Vatican keeps a close eye on them. Would they all decide to run away to pursue their duty, they would always be in danger.Komui perhaps joined the Order for Lenalee but he ended up empathizing for everyone and I doubt he would let anyone go without being able to protect them. Even know everything he does is to try to protect the exorcists. And besides, would they actually all run away and fuckoff, I feel like the Order would still try to make new soldiers. New experiments. Komui, who remembers every name of every people who died in the experiments of the Order even well past before he arrived, would never be the kind of person to leave when he knows he can make a difference, even a slim one.

It is a bit harder to establish for others innocences and accomodators, but in a way i feel like everyone is a bit trapped for different reasons and the fact Allen and Kanda even managed to break away is huge. And the innocence had given more freedom to Allen, I believe also because Allen had proven himself already without needed to be tied to the Order. others innocences might not be that wise.

I do believe the Order doesn’t like the innocence all that much - too hard to control, and such an unfair weapon, “pushing them to such extreme to attempt to win the war”. But how the innocence feel about it would be something for each individual innocence imo so this makes it far harder to actually encourage anyone to leave the Order if they don’t actually have a profound connection enough ith their innocence for their innocence to understand the goods the Exorcists would attempt to do on the way out.

I do want the Order to be run into the ground because the Organization itself is rotten to its core, to its fundations, and there’s very little redeeming it without basically just throwing away all of its history and starting anew. But there are legit concerns about how there is no telling how each individual innocences would react, nor if the Vatican wouldn’t just start another project for the sake of it.

Ultimately, the realization that they should be fighting for the sake of humanity rather than for the sake of ending the war would be the best end, and admirable, but if anything, the innocence hadn’t specifically been completely encouraging of that. Plenty of exorcists don’t care much for the akuma they destroy for exemple, but this is something the innocence has to content with. (and I do believe this might adds kudos to Allen on how he himself see his innocence as a weapon that can save instead of a weapon that can destroy). Obviously the innocence cannot afford to be picky either, but it makes the “all in good faith” motivation to disemble an organization that has a huge tie with how the innocence behaved for centuries quite dangerous without understanding each personal innocence well.

But yeah sorry i went on ramble on that dkjfhd but i do think the innocence matter makes it a lot more complicated to actually run away from how abusive the order is, because it’s.. basically still leaving with a timebomb and you don’t know when it would go off once you do leave, and the knowledge that this systematic abuse will still repeat itself. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” If the Order is a cycle of abuse and everything awful about humanity, it has to be broken in some way, but it has to be done carefully knowing that the system runs deep and that people who have been involved in it can suffer backlash they may not be ready for.

Allen grew up with his innocence away from the Order and we don’t know the origins of his innocence, so his innocence could have reason to not care about the Order and care about what’s in Allen’s heart. Innocences that stayed longer in the Order like Kanda’s or Lenalee’s might far more trust in the Order than their accomodators’s, especially if those, like Lenalee, had been rejecting them to some point.

So it is a very complicated situation and it really does put the Order to shame that it is them misusing their ressources that push people to such extreme instead of accomodating them. And it does feel awful in comparaison to the Noah clan. I kinda am still haunted by the fact the Earl planned the Alma’s incident specifically because “the Order isn’t playing by the rules by using the Noah’s weapons”. In a way it shows how much the Order is all “end justifies the means” despite the fact that their means are horrifying and against everything they had been fighting for. And lbr, the Noah destroying everything, disregarding human lives and creating chaos, while their ultimate goal is to destroy all of humanity? It makes sense. It’s coerent. The Order, disregarding human lives, creating chaos, and creating a cycle of abuse, while their ultimate goal is to save all of humanity? Gives a bad taste on what is “worth saving”. It creates an horrible dicotomy where the Noah appears more honorable because they at least act coerent within themselves, while the Order is ready to believe they are all clean while committing horrors, because it’s the sort of sacrifice that are worth it. But like Allen said, basing a war on sacrifice is worthless. (i’m not saying the Noah are right either just to be sure, just that this leaves a bad taste that the people who will destroy all of humanity are more honorable. It’s not about “geez perhaps they’re right” it’s about “oh humanity look at how low you fell that our enemies are more honorable than you”)

I reaaally dislike the Order and i honestly sideeye the innocence a lot (but again, individual sentientness, so i guess it would be a case-by-case reasoning for most of them). It just... feels so complicated to me to properly leave it. Unless we destroy the Order for good, the others options are healing it from the inside or leaving it to rot and affect everyone involved.

Bah I guess I just overthink everything. I just... think it’s a mess orz

#ichafantalks dgm #Anonymous #ichareply

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morgana-greenleaf · 3 years

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Tower of Tomorrow - Chapter 2

Tower of Tomorrow Masterlist

One year after TWS, Sam and Steve finally track Bucky down and bring him back to Avengers Tower.

Of course, there's still lots of HYDRA bases to be taken down, and Bucky finds himself actually enjoying the Avengers' company, and making friends.

Fury cleared Bucky to access the rest of the tower late the next morning, and the moment he stepped out of the lift he was accosted by Tony, holding a tablet that was projecting a hologram.

“So, I was thinking, since you’re stuck in the tower for a while, you’d need your own floor. There’s an empty one sandwiched in between Steve and Clint that should be fine. And it’s already got the basics – bedroom, bathroom, living room, plus a kitchen and laundry, although JARVIS can order you takeaway if you like, or you can use communal kitchen, that’s what most of us do, but it’s there if you like. And there’s a chute you can put your laundry and it’ll be back clean and dry within twenty-four hours, although you can do it yourself if you like. But that’s not what I’m here about, I need to know if you’d like anything special put in. Bruce wanted it extra-reinforced to survive the Hulk, and Natasha wanted it super-duper secure for all her secret spy stuff. And Clint has his set up so JARVIS can still send him warnings and whatnot if he hasn’t got his aids in. And for a dog.”

“I-I don’t need anything. You don’t have to-” Bucky began.

“Damn right I don’t have to. But I’m gonna. I need a new project to work on, and redesigning your floor might keep me amused for a few hours.”

Bucky hesitated. Did he really deserve his own floor? “Yeah, okay. But you don’t have to do anything special.”

“You must have something you like doing. Something to amuse you all day instead of moping around the tower like Steve’s been doing,” Tony protested, poking the hologram. “Look, there’s a huge empty spot here. We’ve gotta put something there.”

“A library? Maybe?” Bucky had always loved reading, although his family hadn’t been able to afford many. He must’ve reread The Hobbit dozens of times.

Tony smacked a hand into his forehead. “I’m so stupid! I didn’t build a library level! JARVIS, cancel my plans. We’ve got a library to design. Why didn’t I think of this before?”

“Because the reading you do is usually on an ebook?” JARVIS suggested.

“That-that’s not the point, JARVIS,” Tony huffed, fingers already flying across the screen.

“If it’s too much trouble, I can just use an ebook thing?” Bucky offered, but Tony dismissed him with a wave of his hand.

“No, this is fun. Plus, physical books are better. Just stay out of your level until dinner while I get the builders in.”

“What am I supposed to do until then?”

“Ummm.” Tony looked stumped. “I dunno. Explore. Go online shopping. Just don’t kill anyone.”

“Online shopping?” What the hell was that?

“Just ask JARVIS to order anything you like in. Clothes, shoes, books, knives, whatever you like.”

“I don’t have any money.” And speaking of which, was he supposed to pay rent? Because he’d rather just squat in abandoned buildings.

Tony looked shocked. “You’re on my money now. And I have a lot, so there’s no need to worry.”

“Okay, thanks.” Bucky turned away, but Tony caught his wrist.

“One more thing, JARVIS, scan him.”

A blue light ran up and down his body, and then JARVIS announced, “All done, sir.”

“What was that?” Bucky demanded.

“Most of the tower uses fingerprint ID or retinal scans. JARVIS is giving you access,” Tony explained, shoving past and into the lift.

Bucky wandered over to the kitchen benchtop, and glanced around to make sure there was no one else there. It was clear. He looked up at the ceiling.

“Building? JARVIS?” he asked, sceptical.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?” JARVIS responded.

“Can I eat this? The food here? Or do I need to buy my own?” he asked.

“All the food for here is in the communal area, and therefore, in theory, for anyone. However, I might advise against eating prepared food that someone might have saved for later, or Ms Romanov’s chocolates.” JARVIS informed him.

“Thanks.” He opened the fridge, and found a large tub of yoghurt. That would do. Even a year on from HYDRA, he still preferred to eat softer foods, closer to the consistency of the gloop they’d fed him. He filled a bowl, and then added in some berries from the fruit tray. He settled on the lounge nearby, and switched on the television.

It showed a report on the HYDRA base he’d destroyed just yesterday. “-believed to be the work of a vigilante group comprising of at least a dozen members,” some politician was saying at a press conference. “While their efforts are appreciated, we must reiterate that it is not their responsibility, but rather the job of the Army and Special Forces. We ask them to stand down. Anyone with information on the location of HYDRA bases should call the hotline 1300 655 506, where it will be dealt with by the appropriate authorities.”

The number flashed on the screen, and then changed back to the studio. “And just in, the notorious Winter Soldier has been detained in relation to the events last year in DC, as well as two dozen assassinations and several more suspected assassinations. Thought for many years to be just a ghost story-”

The screen switched off. Clint chucked the remote onto the ottoman and dropped down beside Bucky. “Don’t look at that. It won’t help.”

“Who told them?” Bucky growled.

“None of us. Things get leaked. It happens. Trust me. My home address got leaked, and I could barely get out the door the next day there was so many people. But Tony’ll get his press people onto it. They’ll sort it out.”

“That’s what Steve said about the lawyers. Sounds like Tony doesn’t do much, he just pays people to sort everything out for him.”

Clint snorted. “Guess that’s an advantage of being so rich no one can actually put a value on you. But seriously, they’ll sort it out. You might have to give a few statements, do some interviews, talk about what happened, which sucks, but then you’ll be fine.”

“I can deal with that,” Bucky said, “What I can’t deal with is sitting here all day with nothing to do.”

“Want to come to the range with me?” Clint offered.

“Am I allowed?” Fury had said he could go anywhere in the tower, but surely thing wouldn’t allow him to shoot things.

“Course you are. And anyway, the guns only have blanks on the range. Although I use real arrows.”

“And I can use a bow. How do you know I won’t shoot you with one?”

“I don’t,” Clint grinned, and lead the way to the range.

Bucky had a surprisingly good time at the range. He spent half an hour destroying the bullseyes of the four targets in his lane before Clint showed him how to on the fight simulator. The two of them spent hours fighting off wave after wave of holographic projections shooting holographic projectiles at them. As time progressed, and the simulator got harder, the walls started shooting jets of water at them, trying to knock them off their feet, or tipping piles of foam bricks on their heads (to simulate falling buildings), and then the wind machines turned on at full power. Bucky was just gland both he and Clint had had the presence of mind to fit as much ammo as was physically possible on their person.

Then the floor started shaking. Apparently Tony had found a way to simulate earthquakes. The man was a genius. And completely mad. Foam balls started rolling along the floor at them. A blue blip hit Clint in the head, and it took Bucky a few moments to realise that the simulator had ended. They stood there, in a room empty except for water and foam blocks and balls, with arrows and the blank bullets littered around. They were both drenched.

“Hey, you’re pretty good,” Clint said, clapping Bucky on the shoulder. “We should do this more often.”

“You’re not bad yourself, Hawkeye,” Bucky said. “JARVIS, what’s the time?”

“It is currently three forty-nine, Sergeant Barnes.”

“I’ve got to go and see the doctor for some assessments. Thanks for…this,” Bucky said, turning to leave.

“You’ll come to dinner though, right? 6 o’clockish, the kitchen. Everyone’ll be there. And we’ll probably have a movie night, after.” Clint began picking up his arrows.

“Sure,” said Bucky, and headed back out.

He managed to sneak into Steve’s floor and have a quick shower (once JARVIS informed him Steve was in the gym) while he dried his clothes in the drier.

It was one minute to four when Bucky stepped into the lift, and the clock flickered over to four o’clock as he stepped out of the lift into Bruce Banner’s lab. He swept his gaze over the lab, cataloguing everything in sight, every piece of equipment that might be used on him.

“Hi, Bucky,” Bruce said, setting his glasses down on desk.

“Hi,” he gritted out. This was a bad idea. The doctor would run tests on him. Experiment on him. Use him as a labrat. He tried to back away, but his back hit the wall, blocking his escape.

Bruce followed the movement. “Nothing that I’m going to do will hurt you, or alter your body in any way. I’m not a HYDRA doctor. I won’t do any of this without your permission, although I strongly advise you to do this.

“All we’re doing today is some scans, mainly focused on your brain and arm. For your brain, we would like to compare your current scans to the ones in the files from HYDRA, to see how the healing is going. The other thing we would like to look at is your arm, and how it is attached to your body. Tony will probably want to have a look at it at some point, if you’re willing.”

“The files said how it was attached,” Bucky mumbled.

“The files showed several versions, which I assume means different arms?” Bruce asked, and with a nod from Bucky, continued. “It also showed that a lot of your bones have been either replaced or reinforced with metal to support the weight. It’s anchored quite deep into your chest, I believe.”

“Why do you need to scan, then?” Bucky asked, dreading the answer.

“We don’t think that it’s particularly good for you, with the way it’s done. If it’s left the way it is, there might be permanent and serious damage to your spine and back.”

“I managed for seventy years.”

“Yes, and did a lot of damage.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll do the scans,” Bucky said. Better get it over and done with.

Bruce led him over to a gurney. “If you’d like to hop on here, I’ll put you in the machine. It’ll take at least an hour and a half to fully scan you, so feel free to sleep or something.”

Bucky took a deep breath, and climbed onto the gurney. He squeezed his eyes shut as Bruce wheeled him into the scanner and turned it on. It was cylindrical, just like his cryofreeze chamber. It made whirring noises, just like the cryofreeze chamber just before it froze him. He dug the fingernails of his right hand into his palm, and tried to focus on that instead. He couldn’t sleep like Bruce suggested, because who knew when he’d wake up? But he could survive an hour and a half in there, if it helped Fury clear him. He’d survived worse.

Ten minutes by his count into the scan, Bruce settled into a chair. “How about I put some music on?”

“Sure,” Bucky said. It came out barely audible, and weirdly high pitched.

There was a moment of silence, and then music began to play. “This is the Beatles,” Bruce said, “Rubber Soul.”

“Okay.” Bucky settled back and focused on the music.

The ninety minutes passed in a blur. The scanner switched off just as Help! finished, and Bruce pulled him out.

“Would you like to stay and see the scans?” Bruce asked.

“Yes, please.” This was a luxury never afforded to him by HYDRA doctors.

Bruce pulled the scans up on a holoscreen, and then pulled up the HYDRA scans next to it.

“This is the most recent scan, from July 2011. There’s minimal difference between that and the scan from 2004, so if we assume that nothing major happened between 2011 and 2014, we then compare it to your scan you just did.” Bruce pointed to an area on the brain. “This is your hippocampus, where memories are stored. If you look at the two scans, you can see it looks a lot better than it did in 2011. So we can assume that your brain has been healing very quickly. I’m guessing you’ve got a lot of your memories back?”

“Yeah. I think I remember pretty much everything, expect for what a normal human forgets. But I remember my family, and growing up and moving out, going off to fight. And fighting in the war, and getting captured. I remember all the experimentation and torture…from Azzano and from later.”

“Do you remember when everything was? The order of memories? Or are they just…there?” Bruce asked.

“I think most of the order of the memories I’ve worked out is from books than my memories. But every day, they make more sense,” Bucky said.

“That’s a good sign, Bucky. I’ll let Fury know, send him these and explain them. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. What choice do I have?”

Bruce looked guilty. “I wish it were otherwise.”

For some reason, Bucky believed him.

He left the lab feeling considerably better than when he’d entered, and took the lift up to the kitchen, where Clint, Natasha, Tony, Steve and Sam were loading platters of food.

“Help yourself,” Clint said, shoving a plate at him. Bucky grabbed it reflexively, then followed Clint over to the benchtop.

Clint filled his plate with pizza, which Bucky ignored in favour of the spaghetti bolognaise.

“Who makes this?” he asked, sitting down between Clint and Sam.

“Whoever feels like cooking, and then we just order takeaway for the rest,” Clint said around a mouthful of pizza.

“The spag bol’s mine, by the way,” Sam said.

“It’s very good,” Bucky said honestly.

“Oi! Terminator!” Tony yelled.

“What is it,” he said. One conversation with Tony had proved exhausting. He wasn’t sure he could cope with another.

“So, it’s movie night tonight. Have you seen Star Wars?”

“No, I’ve been a little busy.”

Tony gasped dramatically. “Okay, we’re watching A New Hope tonight.”

“A New Hope? We have to watch The Phantom Menace first,” Sam said.

“A New Hope came out first,” Tony said, “Therefore you watch it first.”

“The Phantom Menace is first chronologically. It makes sense to watch them in the order they happen,” Sam argued.

“All in favour of original trilogy before prequels?” Tony asked. He raised his hand, followed by Clint, and after a moment’s hesitation, Natasha. “Sorry Sam, you’re outvoted.”

“You didn’t ask Bruce,” Sam said, petulantly.

“JARVIS, please ask Bruce his opinion on the order to watch the Star Wars films,” Tony said.

“Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit seriously?” Bucky asked.

Tony looked scandalised. “No! This is an important part of your cultural education.”

“Excuse me sir, Dr Banner believes A New Hope should be watched first,” JARVIS interrupted.

“Argument settled. A New Hope it is,” Tony announced smugly.

Sam huffed, and looked away.

After they’d all finished eating, and worked together to wash up and clean the kitchen (which Tony managed to get out of by setting up the movie and making popcorn), they sat on the lounge (except for Clint, who sat on a purple beanbag, with a massive labradoodle lying on top off him, trying to steal his popcorn) and watched A New Hope. And when that ended, Tony put on The Empire Strikes Back straight away and no one argued, so they watched that, and then they decided they may as well finish the trilogy, so they watched Return of the Jedi as well.

By the time Bucky trudged out of the lift and into his new home, it was past midnight, so he didn’t get the chance to explore, instead just lay down on his bed without even undressing, and fell asleep.

All things considered, it was a good day. No one had tried to electrocute him, the doctor actually seemed okay, and the Avengers hadn’t treated him weirdly, and actually seemed to accept him, although he wasn’t convinced that would last. It was probably because he hadn’t spent that long with them yet.

Still, maybe tomorrow would be a good day too.

#fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #post tws

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cyrelia-j · 6 years

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The Case for Jack

(*pats self on the back for not titling this "You don't know Jack"*)

So working on "For the Glory of Morning" resulted in doing a lot of research/character study into Jack which was challenging. Outside of the two episodes where he appears on the show we know precious little about Jack (as well as Lauren and Patrick) so I really had to spend a lot of time rewatching and thinking about his character. I wanted to share a few thoughts that were bouncing around my head on Jack as well as "make the case" for why he's such an incredible and tragic character and why I've come to love him so much. (And by extension why you will be seeing more Jack stuff here along with writing/drawing more Jack/Julian themed things - Jack/Parmak too as of May 2018- when Garak/Bashir will always be my biggest love).You can take this with a grain of salt because these are just my own thoughts and possibly projections but any discussion is welcome!

This got long...

The first time I saw Jack (and read the description of him as a "violent, anti-social and aggressive" man) I didn't give him much of a thought beyond those basic descriptors. He comes off as he's meant to be as one of a few foils for Julian to see just how bad off he could have been with his enhancements or as he says "there but for the grace of God go I". We see Jack's antagonism, and while he's interesting to watch he's not easy to "like".

According to wiki he's been at the Institute for 15 years and going by his appearance and the age of the actor portraying him he's roughly the same age as Julian which means he's been at the Institute his entire adult life and likely part of his teenage years. I think it's safe to assume that he likely had a childhood and adolescence full of doctors/therapists/counselors leading up to that point. The reason for his enhancements is never explained but from his comments to Julian about his parents not being able to "afford the full overhaul", his knowledge of 15th century poetry, and [to me] his manner of dress speaks to someone with a monetarily privileged upbringing.

So you have a child starting out whose parents have paid for a genius and despite the happy portrayals on television, imagine being a child that far above not just your peers but adults as well. It's hard to talk to people that don't understand you- we naturally talk to people starting out with a subconscious expectation that their intelligence will match ours until otherwise indicated and we adjust. For most of us we have a mix of people more and less intelligent than us. Jack never finds anyone he can relate to. People constantly disappoint him. He tries to relate to people. He doesn't understand as a child that other children and adults aren't on his level. He can't comprehend why they don't understand things that he does and his responses come off as condescending.

You see this when he's talking to Julian. "You had to have known that.""Why would you bring it up" etc. This gets played off as paranoia as part of his personality but here Jack is meeting someone he's told is the same as him, who can understand him so he expects the same unabashed mental shortcuts in speech and thought. Children don't have patience, and Jack never was able to learn that he needed to have patience. He kept finding himself constantly frustrated, disappointed and isolated. Money will only get you so far with friends and Jack may not be able to read people well but eventually, he could see children only wanting to hang around him for his money. They didn't like him. Coming from that much money, I think it's possibly that his parents didn't put the same attention to him as Julian's did or that any attention was in the form of trophy status shit. I'm sure he was an incredibly lonely and isolated child.

Then add in that unlike Julian he has greater enhanced physical abilities. Julian may have an unfair athletic advantage but Julian isn't capable of the same damage as Jack. We can see where Jack threatens to snap Sarina's neck that he's stronger than the average human is. Despite what movies show, snapping a neck is incredibly difficult. One could argue he's bluffing but everyone in the room behaved as if he could absolutely do it easily. So now you have a child who not only comes off as arrogant, rude, and cold, you have a child who can easily hurt others without meaning to. I'm sure that he has.

Children with those physical gifts respond to hurting others with differing degrees of empathy some [like I imagine Julian would] feel that very strongly and their reaction is to try and never hurt anyone even to their own detriment. They become afraid of their own strength and sometimes even end up bullied. Others don't understand they're stronger. Their guilt becomes frustration and resentment that someone should be hurt so easily. They don't have the tools to understand they need to exercise more care and they lash out even more. This only gets worse when he gets older and you add in puberty to all these feelings of isolation.

He starts wanting to have friendships, romantic relationships but everyone either hates him, is afraid of him or both. His parents are largely absent and he's smart enough to get good marks even if he is a discipline problem. They throw more money at his school and at counselors. No one knows he's enhanced and he's likely spent his whole life having to keep this to himself letting everyone think he's just an asshole freak. His counselors don't understand. He resents them. He feels like no one wants to help him. They keep telling him that if he doesn't "get it together" he's going to be locked away. He's terrified because he doesn't want to be put away. He has no one he can confide in. He hates himself and he hates everyone else because it's better than feeling desperately lonely and hopeless. I'd be amazed if he's never made one suicide attempt in his life.

He keeps trying to fit in but he's even more angry, older, stronger, and he gets into fights where he hurts people. He's resentful that he has to hold back his strength because others are weak, that he has to hold back his intelligence because others are stupid. His parents finally have to confess after one incident too many and it's easier to put him in a place where he can "get help" and they can wash their hands of him.

I can see him being skeptical of Dr. Loews and not believing she sees him as anything other than a freak. She treats him differently than she does Lauren and Patrick and this isolates him more. Lauren is free with her attraction to everyone but him and just how big of a blow is that to someone's sense of self worth whether they're really into someone or not? I don't imagine he's ever been able to be intimate with anyone else ever and may not even have desired to. He isn't like Lauren and Patrick who lack a certain level of self awareness. You can see when he's ranting about being locked away how little they seem to be affected in comparison. He's trapped in a cage and he knows he's going to spend the rest of his life there and he hates it. It's a torment. His constant agitation, nervous tics, expressions are an expression of that anguish, of that energy, that being having no where to go and no outlet.

I don't honestly know what Dr. Loews was thinking in introducing him to Julian. To me it almost seems cruel- I can see why they have such an antagonistic relationship even if it is misunderstanding from Jack. He hurts her with the broken PADD but she's the one with all the power in that relationship- she controls his life and to him these are all nothing but a series of taunts, of cruelties, of poking at him. I see him caught between not wanting his failure as a person rubbed in his face and wanting to taste just a hint of freedom.

Jack looks at Julian and doesn't see a "goal" but rather fifteen years of his life that he's spent trapped that he's never going to get back. He sees a man with friends, who people like, who's attractive. No wonder from the outset everything Julian does and says seems combative, arrogant, and condescending. Jack can't read people well but even he can see the way Julian looks at him. Julian makes him feel like less which is why we constantly see him jumping on furniture to put himself in a position of dominance. He wants to be liked, he wants to be free. He wants everything Julian has and at the very pit of him he's incredibly kind. We can see that in the way he wanted to help Sarina even though he gets no benefit from it and loses one of his "pack".

As for the brief mention of Jack/Julian, I think that Julian would be incredibly good for him if they met under different circumstances. Or even if there was some big moment of truth, some baring of souls between them. We have no idea of Jack's sexuality as far as whether or not he's bi or straight. Jack himself may very well not know. I had a lightbulb moment when talking it over and he seemed to me to be likely completely asexual or demisexual. Julian when he has reason to be is endlessly patient. Jack wants to experience things, experience the world, and he and Julian can do that together. I imagine a world where they both find themselves in the Institute sharing grand dreams of exploring space and Julian finding Jack's wild ideas and mania contagious. I like the ideas of universes where they grow up together and fall in love. I can see Julian helping Jack learn to cope, learn to live in the world and to be his biggest cheerleader and pillar of support which Jack needs and I can see Jack being fiercely loyal to him like no other once that trust and relationship is established.

Edited to add May 2018 Jack/Parmak: Yeah this is a total oddball one and actually goes off my own non canon Parmak. I think there are some intersections. To start I think Cardassia as a whole would be a place where he'd adapt well. I think he'd find it fascinating to be with a people who are combative and argumentative with everyone as a culture. He can see they treat him just the same as any other and no one would give a damn about his being an augment. I think he'd find himself crazy mentally stimulated and acclimate well. He's had a regimented life as it is so I can see him taking to the routine and customs with interest.

For me Parmak is also a character with an insane capacity for forgiveness and compassion. He's patient, but also won't just roll over and enjoys a good debate and I imagine him to be pretty brilliant in his own right. He's not unbending, and this is the guy screwing his former torturer. I think Parmak's pretty impossible to intimidate at this point in his life with all he's been through. I could see him finding Jack a fascinating puzzle especially seeing how very different he is from any human he's ever encountered before. Reaching a bit but Parmak strikes me at this point in his life as not shying away from danger or confrontation and I would love to see how this plays out. There are totally alternate reality possibilities and believe me I'll be messing with some of these too!

So in closing, yeah, I love Jack and will definitely be writing more adventures and fun romantic angsty things for him so hopefully this may get some others on board or thinking as well :) Believe me I have a lot of plans for this man! Also as an aside, one of the ST authors didn't feel the "scary" side of Jack came across well but I think Tim Ransom's incredibly portrayal gave Jack more depth than the "menacing" figure they were clearly trying to create.

#star trek ds9 #ds9 thoughts #character interpretation #ds9 jack #my two cents #character study #psychology #backstory

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transhumanitynet · 6 years

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Social Futurist revolution & toolkit

1.0 Social Futurist Revolution

We have recently seen increased interest in the issues of workplace automation, technological unemployment, and Basic Income Guarantee (AKA Universal Basic Income). Some observers have been perplexed by visceral and sharply divided public opinion, with people viewing these phenomena as inherently positive or negative.

We should do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian Darwinian theory he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living.

– R. Buckminster Fuller

My own view is that when people see technological unemployment as intrinsically good or bad, the side they fall on probably depends on whether they’re focused on the possible future, or the problematic present. Most jobs are only valuable insofar as they earn money to live, but if our needs could be provided without the jobs then it would be a good thing to have the option of not working for money. Thus, in an ideal world technological unemployment would be a good thing. The problem arises when such unemployment takes place in a Capitalist context; i.e. in a world like ours, where if you don’t have a job you may well be unable to afford healthcare, you might lose your home, even starve.

We live in an interesting time, in which our society has not yet finished exploring the consequences of Capitalism on a trajectory spanning hundreds of years, but at the same time is heavily pregnant with a new civilizational paradigm. We don’t know exactly what the new paradigm will be, but we can be fairly sure that its dawn will be heralded by a cascade of disruptive technologies rendering 19th Century ideas about trade and governance entirely obsolete. That has the potential to be a very good or bad thing, but in the meantime there is a pressing issue we must contend with.

1.1 Capitalism is a machine with no off-switch

Well, capitalism is a big problem, because with capitalism you’re just going to keep buying and selling things until there’s nothing else to buy and sell, which means gobbling up the planet.

– Alice Walker

Capitalism might be thought of as a machine, or a process. In my opinion it is a machine – an engine of sorts – which has yielded great value for society. It has made a high-technology future possible. Unfortunately, the engine’s operations have also yielded some unfortunate side-effects. The sensible move at this point would be to optimise the process; to maximise the engine’s efficiency, and minimise its negative societal effects (not to mention ensuring that the role of the engine is not confused with that of the flight crew). Unfortunately, however, it would appear that if Capitalism is a machine, it is a machine with no off-switch or pause button. It is a runaway process.

In other words, Capitalism has no mechanism for reversing itself when its effects become a problem. For example, now that automation is making it possible for people to use their time and energy for something other than meaningless labour – indeed it is taking away jobs whether people want them or not – Capitalism cannot suddenly make ‘opting out’ a viable course of action. People who opt out of Capitalism cease to be able to support themselves within modern society.

In this way, it would appear that the old system has no capacity for gracefully giving way to a new way of doing things where people want that. The old system would strangle the new in its cradle, given the chance. Consequently, anyone who wishes to employ new technologies in the creation of a progressive society must be ready to force the old system to relinquish its grip on their lives.

1.2 The Social Futurist alternative

Usually the first problems you solve with the new paradigm are the ones that were unsolvable with the old paradigm.

– Joel A. Barker

As I’ve mentioned above, there is a broad space of post-Capitalist alternatives potentially enabled by new technologies. I am an advocate for a single category within that broad space, which I call Social Futurism. Right now, Social Futurism simply refers to the intelligent and compassionate application of new technologies to individual and societal improvement, with an emphasis upon voluntarism and personal freedom. At this stage, therefore, Social Futurism could be considered a synonym for Techno-Progressivism, although no-one knows if that will continue to be true as these schools of thought evolve.

We believe in positive social change through technology, and so are firmly on the side of the emerging new paradigm. My own view is that there will always be a place for responsible trade in emergent commodities, and that healthy private competition drives innovation, but so far Social Futurism leaves such questions open. Capitalism as it currently exists, however, will soon be faced with challenges unprecedented in its history. If Capitalism is incapable of graceful reform to adopt a place within the new paradigm, as I strongly suspect, then Social Futurists and other post-Capitalists will be forced to take a revolutionary stand. To forcibly unplug a machine loose in our lives, which never had an off-switch.

1.3 Revolution means never being alone

You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.

– R. Buckminster Fuller

But what does it mean to speak of “revolution” and “force”? Of course we can easily conjure images of violent political revolutions, and there is no denying that public rebellion is back in vogue. I personally believe that violent revolution is not something to be desired or fetishised, both because it seldom ends well or as predicted, and also because the deepest revolutions are inclusive and take time to play out. Here I am referring not to minor political revolutions so much as major paradigm shifts like the Industrial Revolution. Now, we are facing a techno-cultural shift on that scale (if not much larger), but at the same time it is likely to spark various social, economic, and political conflicts of the sort associated with violent revolution. We must ask ourselves how best to proceed, with the probability of such events looming large on the horizon.

At least two answers to that question might be suggested by the Zero State (ZS) community. The ZS idea is to create a virtual, distributed State which adheres to a set of ethical principles including limits of governmental jurisdiction. The first answer is that Social Futurists’ engagement in violent situations should be governed by principles, such as an imperative to do so only in self-defence. The second answer is to focus on building new communities, new infrastructure, and new paradigms rather than attempting to fix broken systems. In short, we need to build principled networks and use them to apply the latest innovations to our highest ideals, to the benefit of as many people as possible.

If we can do that, then I believe we will indeed be seeing a revolution unfold. New social and economic models will evolve and emerge from within the old, which will compete with older systems to provide high quality of life. Where people are not offered freedom of choice between these alternatives, and where the remnants of the older society seek to destroy its offspring, we must stand ready to fight for our freedoms. If we are hardworking and organised, then we will have the chance to contribute to the shape of the future. If we are lucky, then that future will unfold peacefully for all.

2.0 Social Futurist Toolkit

I have laid out an extremely general critique of Capitalism’s place within our society, and the barest outline of the alternative known as Social Futurism. Section 1’s point is that Capitalism does certain things very well but it cannot be paused or adjusted when its effects become problematic, that rapid technological change appears to be on the verge of making certain alternatives viable, and that unfortunately we may be forced to fight for our right to personally choose those alternatives.

Section 1 did not address policy details of any sort. It would be unfortunate if people thought that meant Social Futurism has no specific ideas at its disposal, so section 2 outlines a kind of “policy toolkit”. The following policy categories are not compulsory features of any Social Futurist movement or group, but are more like basic building blocks from which specific policy configurations could be adapted to local conditions. Similarly, the toolkit as it currently stands is in no way exhaustive.

It is my intent that this toolkit should form a kind of bridge between the broadest, most general level of political discussion on the one hand, and the development of specific policies for local groups on the other. The six basic policy categories are only very briefly discussed below, but will each soon be analysed fully by the Social Future Institute.

Finally, none of the ideas presented in this article are new (section 2.6 being my only novel contribution), but this mix is seldom presented in a single ‘chunk‘ that can be easily memorised and communicated. It is my hope that in time the label “Social Futurism” may act as the natural intersection of these disparate-but-compatible ideas, enabling people to refer to an array of possible solutions to major problems in two words rather than two thousand.

2.1 Evidence, Balance, & Transition

All of the policies in this toolkit should be approached from a pragmatic and flexible (rather than ideologically constrained) point of view. When trying to be pragmatic and flexible, our main concern is with policies that actually solve problems, so the use of empirical evidence is central to Social Futurism. Policy development and review should emphasise the setting of quantifiable goals and application of empirical evidence wherever that is an option, to encourage policy that evolves to better meet our goals over time.

In this vein, we should seek to find optimal balances between extreme ideological positions, to the extent that any given choice may be viewed as a continuum rather than a binary choice. An extremely important example is the question of transition, which is to say the process of development from our current PEST (political, economic, social, technological) situation to a more efficient and just society. Often political questions are depicted as a false dichotomy, or choice between things as they are and radical utopias entirely disconnected from current reality. What is both preferable and more tractable is an intelligent balance of the past and future, in the form of a pragmatic transition phase.

For example, sections 2.2-2.4 below propose a series of economic adjustments to society. From the perspective of someone invested in the status quo, they are extremely radical suggestions. From the perspective of a radical utopian, they are half-measures at best. From a Social Futurist perspective, they are required to maximise the likelihood of a better society actually coming into existence, while attempting to minimise the risk of severe societal destabilisation caused by rapid and untested change. My own vision of a societal transition phase follows an observation from Ray Kurzweil, in which change often takes longer than anticipated, but also ends up being much deeper than anticipated, meaning that focus on a transition phase may allow us to work toward truly radical transformative change in the longer term.

In short, the effectiveness of our methods should be tested by looking at evidence, we should balance our policies in a flexible and pragmatic manner, and we should seek a staged transition toward a better future rather than risk critically destabilizing society.

2.2 Universal Basic Income & LVAT

A minimal, “safety net” style Universal Basic Income should be established. This is as opposed to putting undue strain on the economy by introducing a basic income larger than is required to satisfy essential living requirements. Where possible, the UBI should be paid for by a combination of dismantling welfare bureaucracies, and Land Value & Automation Taxes (LVAT).

LVAT is the extension of traditional Land Value Tax to include a small tax on every unit of workplace automation equivalent to a single human being replaced. This extension of LVT is intended to harness the economic momentum of workplace automation, which is expected to be the principal cause of technological unemployment in coming decades. The tax should be considerably less than the cost of hiring a human, thus causing no disincentive to automation (some would argue that any tax would disincentivize automation, but our goal is not to encourage automation, and as long as automation is cheaper than human labour it will win out). The LVAT would take the place of increasing numbers of arbitrary taxes on goods and services which are currently being added and increased to shore up Western economies.

Social Futurism is compatible with private property ownership and does not advocate property confiscation. Wealth redistribution is only advocated to the degree that it can be achieved through LVAT & UBI as described above. The extent to which people should be able to choose if, how, and to whom they pay tax is addressed in section 2.6. It is also worth noting here that where a functional equivalent of UBI exists (e.g. citizen shares in Distributed Autonomous Cooperatives) which is proven more effective, then Social Futurists should favour the more effective solution as per point 2.1.

2.3 Abolition of Fractional Reserve Banking

Fractional Reserve Banking is the process by which banks are required to hold only a fraction of their customers’ deposits in reserve, allowing the money supply to grow to a multiple of the base amount held in reserve. Through this practice, central banks may charge interest on the money they create (thereby creating a debt which can never be repaid, across society as a whole) and expose the entire economy to risk when they cannot meet high demand for withdrawals. Fractional Reserve Banking fosters potentially critical risk to the entirety of society for the benefit of only a tiny proportion of citizens, and therefore should be abolished. The alternative to Fractional Reserve Banking is Full Reserve or 100% Reserve Banking, in which all banks must hold the full amount of deposits in reserve at all times.

Full Reserve Banking is much more conservative than Fractional Reserve Banking, and would signal an end to “easy credit”. In turn, it would afford enough stability to see our society through a sustainable transition phase, until technological post-scarcity makes reliance on traditional banking systems and the Capitalist principle of surplus value itself unnecessary.

2.4 Responsible Capitalism, Post-Scarcity, & Emergent Commodity Markets

Social Futurist policy must favour the encouragement of responsible trade and strong regulation of reckless behaviour, with an eye to making Capitalism an engine of society rather than its blind master. To this end, it should be Social Futurist policy that all companies that wish to operate within any given community must be registered with the appropriate regulation bodies employed by that community. Non-regulation and self-regulation by industries which are not accountable to the communities they affect is unacceptable. (For the purposes of this brief statement I have conflated Capitalism and markets, despite the fact that trade existed millennia before the organization of society around profit based on Capital investment. These issues will be treated separately and extensively, later).

Where possible, Social Futurists should advocate the transition to non-monetary peer-to-peer resource management under post-scarcity conditions. In other words, we should seek to avoid the creation or maintenance of artificial scarcity in essential resources. A continuing place for trade even under post-scarcity conditions is acknowledged and encouraged where it reduces artificial scarcity, promotes technical innovation, and serves the needs and directives of the community. Emergent commodities (e.g. natural artificial scarcities such as unique artworks) will need a framework for responsible trade even under optimal post-scarcity conditions, so it behooves us to develop such frameworks now, in the context of contemporary Capitalism.

2.5 Human autonomy, privacy, & enhancement

Social Futurism incorporates the transhumanist idea that the human condition can and should be improved through the intelligent and compassionate application of technology. We also strongly emphasise voluntarism, and in combination these things necessitate the championing of people’s rights over their own bodies and information. It should be Social Futurist policy to oppose any development by which people would lose individual sovereignty or involuntarily cede ownership of their personal information. Social Futurists must also defend the individual’s right to modify themselves by technological means, provided that the individual is a mentally competent consenting adult and the modification would not pose significant risk of harm to others.

2.6 Establishment of VDP (Virtual, Distributed, Parallel) States

The principle of subsidiarity holds that organizational responsibility should be devolved to the lowest or most local level capable of dealing with the situation. In other words, power should be decentralized, insofar as that doesn’t diminish our ability to face challenges as a society.

For example, local governance issues should be handled by local rather than national-level government where possible. Social Futurism takes subsidiarity to its logical conclusion, by insisting that people should have the right to govern their own affairs as they see fit, as long as by doing so they are not harming the wider community. On the other side of the coin, broader (e.g. national and transnational) levels of governance would be responsible for issues that local organizations and individuals could not competently face alone.

Where global governance is needed, the model should be one of cooperating global agencies focused on a specific area of expertise (e.g. the World Health Organization), rather than a single government acting in a centralised manner to handle all types of issue. In this way, decentralization of power applies even when an issue cannot be resolved on the local level.

In order to encourage the development of such a system, we advocate the establishment of communities with powers of self-governance known as VDP States, where VDP stands for “Virtual, Distributed, Parallel”. ‘Virtual’ refers to online community, orthogonal to traditional geographic territories. ‘Distributed’ refers to geographic States, but ones where different parts of the community exist in different locations, as a network of enclaves. ‘Parallel’ refers to communities that exist on the established territory of a traditional State, acting as a kind of organizational counterpoint to that State’s governing bodies. Two or three of these characteristics may be found in a single VDP State, but it is expected that most such communities would emphasise one characteristic over the others. Alternatively, a VDP State may emphasise different characteristics at different stages in its development.

Given Social Futurist emphasis on voluntarism, VDP State citizenship must be entirely voluntary. Indeed, the entire point of the VDP State is to broaden the range of governance models which people may voluntarily choose to engage with, where they are currently told that they simply have to accept a single model of governance.

As this is clearly a new and experimental approach to governance, it is to be expected that many ideas associated with it are still to be properly developed and tested. Some of these ideas may not meet our own standards of empirical review. However, to briefly anticipate some common objections it is worth noting several points. Firstly, decentralization does not imply an absence of social organization. It simply means that people can exercise more choice in how they engage with society. Secondly, yes it is true that all three of the VDP characteristics have limitations as well as strengths (e.g. difficulty in defending isolated enclaves), but that is why any given VDP State would find the mix of features that suits its purpose and context best. Thirdly, as mentioned earlier in this article, different approaches may be mixed and balanced as necessary, such as a single-location VDPS being used as a template for the later creation of a distributed network of communities. Finally, the VDPS idea is not intended to stand alone but to complement any initiatives which have the potential to maximise its value (Open Source Ecology, for example).

Addendum: A note on Marxism

Below I give an example of the point made in section 1 (about balance and transition), which draws upon a Marxist viewpoint because Social Futurist concerns tend to be shared by Marxists, but the logic would equally apply to movements whose long-term ideals and methods are more like our own, such as The Zeitgeist Movement. I have put this note to one side because I do not want to give an incorrect first impression that Social Futurism is Marxist in nature. It is simply intended to address societal problems which have already been comprehensively analysed by Marxists, so it is worth noting the relevance of their point of view to our own.

Marx argued that the root problem with Capitalism is surplus value. This means that Capitalists (i.e. investors) pay workers only a proportion of the value of what is produced by their work, and the remaining (“surplus”) value is taken as profit by the Capital owning class, along with rent and interest on debts. Marxists assert that workers should collectively own the means of production (i.e. factories, machines, resources, all Capital), thereby ending surplus value and phenomena such as problematic banking practices along with it. From this perspective it might be reasonably suggested that “treating the symptoms” rather than the core disorder would be fruitless (or worse, dangerous), and that citizen benefits of any sort should be paid for by distributing all profit from collectively owned means of production equally.

Without wishing to get into a discussion of whether ideal Marxism is possible or doomed to give rise to historical Communist authoritarianism, I would say that even a benign Marxist revolution would entirely destabilize society if it occurred too quickly. Social Futurism does not deny the Marxist analysis of the problem, but seeks a staged transition to a post-Capitalist society which does not attempt to undermine the entire basis of our current society in a single move. Although an optimal, long-term Social Futurist outcome may not be desirable to some Marxists (and certainly not to historical Stalinists or Maoists), it would definitely involve the eventual transition to democratic, decentralised post-scarcity, and removal of Capitalist surplus value as the central organizational principle of our civilization.

Social Futurist revolution & toolkit was originally published on transhumanity.net

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