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#( and by something i mean she's awful! we all hate her! )
rosescarlette · 1 day
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-> Just nothing but zhongli being a girl dad✨
-> Zhongli being the type of dad that's absolutely overprotective of his daughter, he wouldn't let any guy come close to his daughter. Always protecting his precious gem.
-> One day you even found Zhongli in a ridiculous state with your daughter which you couldn't help but laugh about.
"Daddy! Can we play princesses and tea parties please??"
"Hm. I am still in the middle of finishing something."
"Aw.. :("
Seeing your daughter's sad face he couldn't refuse.. so he decided to play for a while. He spoke with his signature smile.
"Alright. I will play then. But only for an hour."
"Really?! Yay! I'll go get my dollies and stuff!!"
He heard her footsteps running to her room to grab her stuff. He couldn't help but give a hearty chuckle.
"Alright I've got my things! But.. there's something missing.."
"Hm? Missing? Like what?"
"This party was only for princesses but you're a guy!"
"O-oh is that so?.."
"But that's okay! We can dress you up!! Follow me!!"
You were out shopping for stuff while your daughter went to your bedroom and opened your closet. Zhongli was beside her all along.
"Why are we in your mother's room? She would be quite mad at us if we broke anything."
Your daughter just ignored him completely and was still searching in your closet until she found a pretty dress.
"This should do!! Look at it!! It's so pretty! Mom sure has pretty dresses!"
"Hm. Ah yes I remember this piece.. I've gift-"
"No time for a lecture!! We need to get you ready for the tea party!! Now put this dress on!"
"This dress?"
"Yes!"
"But this is your mot-"
"Please put it on! Am sure it fits you"
"Alright. Let's just hope your mother doesn't find me in this state."
After a while you came back home and was quite surprised to not find zhongli in his usual place. But there was a lot of noise coming from your daughter's bedroom, you decided to check out what it was.
When you entered the room without warning.. you were so flabbergasted when you saw zhongli in your favorite dress and he wore makeup such as lipstick blush. However the make up was odd. It was quite weirdly done, that's when you noticed that your daughter had done a makeover to her dad! The lipstick marks were still present on her hands and zhongli knew how to keep make up well. They both were having a very fun time until you suddenly asked a question.
"ahem?"
"Why is daddy in my dress? And why are there make up marks on your hands?"
You asked your daughter who was frozen .
"oh hello!- uh-"
"It's alright darling. We were playing princesses and tea parties."
He said while taking a sip out of his tea while speaking as a lady.
"uh huh.."
"Yes!! Isn't daddy pretty??"
When you looked at zhongli you died out laughing.
"Ah yes daddy does look pretty doesn't he? Hm?
"Yes. Tea parties are nice."
-> Like I said again he also hates when some boy likes his daughter. How dare that person!
"Dad I am officially a grownup!!"
"HUH?! WHEN. HOW. WHERE."
"Calm down zhongli. I mean she's nearly a teenager now-"
"I TOLD YOU DEAR! ITS THE CHICKEN. NOW WHAT-"
"I got a letter!"
Both of you were confused.
"Whats the letter supposed to mean?"
"It means someone loves me mom!"
"Is it a love letter my dear?
"Yes!! I-"
"Who's the guy."
"Zhongli cool down it's just a letter."
"My absolute dearest. I just want to talk to that guy."
"Zhongli you're out to kill him aren't you?"
"..."
"Answer the question."
"..."
"Zhongli?"
"Yes."
"Come on love it's just a letter! Come on-"
"No."
"I am not gonna talk you out of this am I?"
"Yes."
"Zhongli no killing."
"Ok dearest."
"..."
"But you didn't say not to hit him with a meteorite."
"ZHONGLI NO-"
-> let's just say it was a chaotic night.
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Note: LEMME KNOW IF YOU NEED A PART 2. ILL TRY TO MAKE A PART 2 IF I AM NOT SO BUSY WITH ACADEMICS!!
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opinated-user · 2 days
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So apparently Lily’s got a fucking Tiktok account now: https://www.tiktok.com/ @lilianorchard . Obviously she hasn’t posted anything awful on there yet, this ask is more just to let people know that it is something she depressingly fucking has now. Oh, and she is following her incredibly conservative, transphobic brother on there who Courtney is somehow worse than. So that’s fucking fun.
A periodic reminder that Lily has absolutely NO fucking standards or actual convictions about anything whatso fucking ever. She will support any person, any belief, and any ideology no matter how rancid/horrific they are, as long as she can use them to make herself feel good. And also as long as they are people that obsessively support her and her alone. That’s why she and Mikaila shamelessly supported and open Nazi on Twitter, and why she is now following her openly, deeply conservative and transphobic fucking brother on Tiktok now. It’s all just completely “head empty, no thoughts as long as you support me and me alone” when it fucking comes to Lily. No wonder it’s fascists/far right bastards that support her and RARELY any marginalized people themselves.
oh, LO has no clue where she is getting herself into. if she thinks we were ruthless here on tumblr or that twitter is mean, she's not prepared at all to how unhinged discourse in tiktok can get.
for anyone curious, these are the people LO is currently following there:
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i don't know about the other two men, i don't recognize either, but this is Hank, the brother that is being accused of abusing multiple women, not just Courtney, saying that climate change is a scam.
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on this other tiktok hank, while using a hashtag that is also used by hate groups like LibsOnTiktok, is using a completely harmless pride video to say essentially "we have to stop them" and treat them as predators for the crime of being queer.
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s1m0nth3swaggy · 17 hours
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Something I haven't seen anyone talk about yet is how valid Charles anger at the night nurse was.
Like, this woman showed up, lied to his friend/ crush and then continued to tell him that he and his best friend of 30 years, who's always been there for him, have to split up and go to the afterlife??
Needless to say that makes him mad, like Charles is such a caring person he doesn't want any harm to come close to the people he loves. He would personally fight all the Endless if it meant keeping them safe. He's that guy.
But then the night nurse DIGS into his memories, reminds him of the awful shit that happened to him and has the AUDACITY to say that Charles has nothing keeping him from going to the afterlife because the world sucks? He already knew that. Doesn't mean he didn't find beauty in it. He's found friends, love, a goddamn purpose, and that random lady just tells him it's for nothing
Honestly, who wouldn't have ticked out? I think it was actually pretty reasonable of him to react that way, given everything that's happened to him and everything the night nurse did (no hate to her, she was just doing her job and I love her as a character)
What baffles me even more is that Crystal can't understand it. Like, shouldn't she know what Charles feels like to a degree? She knows what he struggles with to a point, and even though none of them know the full extent, instead of just being like "it was scary you acted that way" a normal reaction would've been to be worried about Charles, no? I mean yes, she was traumatised by David and strongly saw him in Charles at that moment (or better said, feared they were a little alike), but if my friend ticked out like that, I'd want to know the reason.
We know thought that Charles doesn't like opening up, but from what he said afterwards, it's pretty clear he has conflicted feelings about his whole situation
Maybe it's just me but I think that the way rhey went abozt it wasnt really a good way to deal with it? Like, Crystal was pissed at the night nurse as well for lying to her, and Edwin also doesn't want to go to the afterlife. I'd personally have like pretty much the same reaction as Charles if someone showed me how shit my life was and then just figured my being as ghost couldn't possibly be better. I think Charles was being reasonable, honestly. I also think that yes, it was a harsh reaction, but one that should've worried the others rather than make them be somewhat condescending (at least that's what their reactions always feel like to me?)
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notnights · 1 day
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I think abt Jax abstracting while Gangle doesn’t ( or Jax abstracting before her ) very often
Gangle is very conflicted bc like she should be somewhat happy/relived right? Jax treated her and everyone else awfully!
But she can’t help but feel awful about it. Especially because the last time she saw him before he abstracted Gangle could tell something was off as he was.. well not *nice* but he was less mean.
She tried to ask him if something was going on but he either snapped or brushed her off ( Gangle wonders if maybe if she pressed him harder he’d still be here )
There’s also the elephant in the room regarding his funeral. I can imagine there was a hefty debate on if Jax even *deserves* a funeral, in the end the funeral did happen but it was awkward and short.
This is a really great concept!
When you lose someone who's important to you but who has been awful to you is really conflicting. Even if we say Gangle hates Jax, Jax has been a constant in her life. He was there since she arrived. A part of her world is gone now even if that part was awful.
She would feel both relived and sad. And then feel guilt for feeling relived (because he was lost how could one think something like that when someone "died"), and/or feel guilt over being sad (because he was awful, why should she mourn him).
And then if we add the idea they are somewhat friends, Jax being the one that really communicates the most to her (from what we've seen so far), or even controls her, that's a big loss. She is free now, but with that comes the conflict of what does she do now? She's been following Jax's lead so long, what happens now? Feels a little lost without him. And if he was really one the only sources that really hang out and kept her company, god she'd just feel so lonely. That one constant again. Gone.
The emotional conflicts of losing an abusive loved one is very interesting to me. I always really liked that scene in Tangled when Mother Gothel falls to her death and Rapunzel actually reaches out for her. Because despite everything Gothel put her through and kept her from, she still raised her.
Anyways that tidbit is a bit of derail but just... always an interesting aspect in these kind of relationships that don't really get talked about. And it's perfectly fine to feel these ways too... understanding and knowing what they were doing to you was wrong, even never forgiven them for it. But still mourning their loss. It feels bad, conflicting, guilty but that's okay, emotions are funny like that.
Gangle dealing with that would be so interesting and sad. Worse if we add the idea she actually does care about him someway. Considers him a friend, or loves him, etc.
Worse if she knew Jax cared about her in someway too. Involving that "if she pressed, he'd still be here" idea. Jax always kept her as company, making her realize she was really the only one that could have noticed, could have helped. Even if it was just as his victim or lackey. Feels guilty that even if she's just the one that was always standing closest to him, she out of everyone should've noticed something, right? If she was something, anything, to Jax, she feels it was her responsibility to help. That eats her up even if being "something," to Jax wouldn't have changed anything.
Then at the end of this, Jax's funeral is depressing. Not for the same reasons as many others though. They don't hesitate to do it, they know they have to, Jax was still a person lost. But they didn't think that far into it, as no one really knows what to say about him. Ragatha steps up and tries to talk about him, has trouble with it. Lots of "he--- well!! Ah, Jax was..." that really ends with nothing said at all. Maybe Zooble says they'll miss him being a thorn at their side, as they can't find anything kinder to say.
Maybe Gangle decides to say something, if they were "friends," maybe she does have some interesting things to say. Maybe she just ends up standing up there and crying and sobbing in front of everybody because really what can she say? What can she do? Nobody liked him, not even she liked him, and yet she's here crying so hard she can't speak over him.
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Help why is Silved mpreg a new thing on this app- like what started this help me
OH BOY how the fuck do I explain this shit
Ok so basically back in very early January I decided to draw Silver Spoon.. but pregnant. AS A JOKE-
Then my gf (@humanaltarr) posted the pic, and a few of my moots on Tumblr saw it, and at first I was like "Welp this is the end of my Tumblr career" and I think just a few hours later one of my moots (@spiritmander13) wrote the first Silver Spoon mpreg fic called "Silver Suffers With Morning Sickness" with 6 chapters (technically 7 but the 7th isn't involved with the story)
Then Silver Spoon mpreg became a big joke mostly on the oscc discord I believe (I joined it for a few days but left) and then for a while it was quiet, until I started an ask blog called @askthe-iii-shipchildren, on April 5th, and on April 30th I got an ask by an anonymous person where they wanted Candelabra to put Silver Spoon in a maid dress, and I ended up drawing Silver in a maid dress
Now here's were the second Silver mpreg era began. I made a joke with Candle saying "If Silver stays in that for much longer Candelabra is gonna have a little sibling soon" cuz I thought it would be funny (had no idea what it would cause)
Then @spiritmander13 reblogged it and said something like "CANDLE NO-" and I replied back saying "Silver Spoon mpreg part 2 /j" AS A JOKE. She told me not to start it again, and I said "Aw shucks" but in the tags of that reblog, I said "Time to draw Silver pregnant in a maid dress" and that's where I messed up since Spiritmander said they were intimidated.
Suddenly, I got tagged in a post by Spiritmander, and it seemed to be a screenshot of them saying "Don't tell Infinite, my sins shall stay hidden until it is the right time (I scrolled for like 20 minutes on their blog to find that fucking hell)
Then I got a little spooked cuz yk it's not everyday shit like this happens. I then screenshotted it and went into her inbox with the screenshot and asked "WHAT IS RHIS, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN" and she replied with another screenshot and it said "*Casually steals Tumblr mutuals fankid for the story*" and that's when I knew what was happening.
Soon, Spiritmander posted another Silver Spoon mpreg fic called "Little Moth"
Then it was a little quiet after that, with me making an occasional joke about it, always ending it with Spirit saying "HEY YOU STARTED IT!"
There is also this whole thing with "Bab Incest" Spirit did but I wasn't involved with that
Later in to May, me, @spiritmander13 and @mxmc13 formed the "Silver Spoon simp trio" cause apparently we all saw each other as friends so why not
Then the (sort of) mpreg era 3 started again. I'll put this part simply and say that me and a few other people on osc Tumblr got asks in our inboxes by "Anon~Chan" that were basically like a shitty Wattpad story but with II characters, and I personally got a Silverloon mpreg thing.. so fun..
And the most recent thing that happened. There was a Two x Jax post, and me, Mc, and Spirit were basically joking more about Silver Spoon mpreg in the reblogs, until Spirit came along and said "Silver Spoon simp trio canceled." And me and Mc were absolutely DEVASTATED and then Spirit said that me and Mc had to write Silver Spoon mpreg as well, for me as punishment for drawing it and confusing the original poster, and for Mc.. dunno..
And that's what's currently happening, I am working on my Silver mpreg and so is @mxmc13 ..
And yeah that's the whole story pretty much, this was a VERY long post and probably not even was the asker really wanted but meh
Anyways I imma end this off with saying.. I do not regret first drawing the Silver Spoon mpreg, since this is all genuinely fun and it even got me some friends on this site (Spiritmander and Mxmx and their great) so yeah =]
(also this is NO hate to anyone mentioned in this, and the fics that Spirit wrote are actually really good so I recommend checking them out)
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heavenlymorals · 1 day
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Susan Grimshaw - A Small Deep dive Into A Complicated Woman
(Warning: This post contains mentions of period typical sexism and gender roles, as well as spoilers for RDR2)
Susan Grimshaw is one of the most interesting characters in the Van Der Linde gang and perhaps one of the most mischaracterized as well. She is either this beloved tough mother caricature or a deplorable hag more reminiscent of Cinderella's step mother than any true matriarch.
Today, though, I want to go into a little cultural deep dive regarding Miss Grimshaw. I want to explore the cultural significance of her character and how she's sadly a representation of the affects of misogyny and how it could affect a woman.
And for context, I come from a culture that still operates under many of the gender roles that 1899 America followed so all the stuff I'm gonna talk about are all things I've seen and/or experienced in my life time.
Grimshaw seems to me like a woman who is trying to compensate. What do I mean by this? Simple. What I mean is that in such a male dominated society that expected women to adhere to their standards, the fact that Susan Grimshaw wasn't able to is a source of insecurity for her, which then makes her lash out on the other girls of the camp.
Whether consciously or unconsciously, she heavily values male praise and authority. She is generally sweet and playful with Arthur, giving the vibe of that mother that we all seem to love so much, but with the girls, she's hell incarnate.
The second we get into Horseshoe Overlook, she talks to Arthur on how they got his tent ready and then tells Dutch and Hosea they would be ready shortly. The second we get into Horseshoe Overlook, she tells Tilly: "Miss Jackson, I've seen shit with more common sense than you, do it properly!". That one scene shows or gives an idea of how she is with the men vs how she is with the women.
She is awful to the girls. She reminds me a lot of mothers who are sweet and even servant-like to their sons and who view their daughters as competition, thus are harder and horrible to them (to my fellow Arab girlies, you know how it is. It sucks).
She never lets them rest and always gets on them for working the "wrong" way. That's pretty damn demoralizing. She berates them, calls them whores, and even physically assaults them. She even complains that she hates how Dutch won't allow her to whip them. And here's the thing, you can't even cite historical attitude with her behavior because even back then, abusive mistresses were criticised and seen in a bad light.
One of the most vile things she's ever done is try to pressure Abigail into prostitution again, even though she knows that Abigail is a mother and never wants to do that again, threatening her by telling her that she'd bring the matter up to Dutch even if Dutch himself never wanted her to do any of that.
But that behavior stems from her own insecurity of not hitting the milestones that women were expected to reach at that point.
She isn't married, nor was married, and a woman's identity of marriage was such a big thing back then that Grimshaw tries to cope with it by being decent with the men or accepting their flattery. She gets interested in Micah before he makes fun of her for being an older woman. She was willing to go out with Uncle before he asks her for money. She is fond of Dutch and still talks about when they were together sometimes and doesn't dare berate Molly because she's Dutch's girl. She even ignores the girls when they are doing something not work wise with the men- probably to please the man.
Tilly mentions this. "If I'm playing with you, she'll leave me alone."
But no one wants her and that then makes her lash out. She bullies Mary Beth on how she's too vain and that her beauty will go away, just like it "went away for her" and that what's left is awful. Like that such a sad mindset but in the time period she lived in, it makes sense. Women were usually married off by their early twenties due to their youth and vigor and beauty was perhaps the most important part of a woman because it's the only area where she is respected and that fucking sucks (note how many myth/historical women are praised almost only for their beauty). As women grew older, they'd become less desirable to the male dominant society, thus they would be shamed and humiliated. This even happens to Bonnie McFarlane in RDR1 in the newspapers when she's only in her late twenties, but because she isn't married, she gets shamed.
Grimshaw feels insecure about these aspects of her, of her looks, of her age, and that makes her lash out on the other women of the camp because they are young and beautiful. It makes her feel like she has a power that she lost by being a 50+ year old woman with nothing to her name.
So to compensate and to show her "value" as a woman, she works and works and works to dignify Dutch's camp because in that aspect of her life, she doesn't need to worry about her insecurities.
Yes. Grimshaw cares for the girls, and she'll scrap for all of them, but that doesn't mean she isn't a problematic and toxic person. It's sad that she feels like she needs to do all that for male approval in a male dominant society but good God, man. Again, she's literally that mother who feels threatened by her daughter and competes with her but treats her son like a prince, even if she still loves her daughter.
Yea, she helped save Tilly and pointed her gun at Micah in the end, but that doesn't mean she's just this "tough" mother figure. No. She's mean and toxic and awful and all of that is because of misogyny and how it feeds into her own insecurities as an older woman.
It's fucking sad.
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tennessoui · 8 months
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I'm begging on my hands and knees for more Twilight au, and those are words I never thought I'd say! Anakin being able to resist compulsion, and Obi-Wan seeming instantly obsessed, and poor Shmi! Pretty please 🥺🙏
hey!! sure! here's some more!
(2.5k)
Having a sheriff for a mom sucked a lot when he was a kid growing up in a small town. There was probably nothing Anakin was rebelling against more at eleven, at thirteen, at seventeen than the rule of law his mother represented. 
All things considered, she was pretty good at separating her home life from her worklife. It was Anakin who was bad at respecting the separation, Anakin who couldn’t keep son out of delinquent.  There’s only so many times he could be pulled out of wreckage and bars and buildings with Keep Out No Trespassing signs on them before he got The Sheriff at home and out in public.
He’d hated it growing up and had come to grudgingly respect it later and in fits and starts. His dad dying had, terribly and ironically, helped a lot. His mother had had a stroke just before and then Anakin had been faced with the possibility of being an orphan, and the terror of that had mellowed him out.
Sorta.
He still hates a lot of things about his mother’s job. Especially the fact that she’s the sheriff of a very small town.
And when people talk, she listens.
The thing about small towns is that everyone’s always fucking talking. And other people are always fucking lsitening so they can talk later. One big fucking community, which means when Anakin comes home from his weird doctor’s appointment with Dr. Kenobi, a few hours later because he took a detour biking along the edge of the seaside cliffs just to spit in the good doctor’s metaphorical face, Shmi Skywalker already knows more than Anakin ever planned to tell her.
Like, for instance, “Sheila says that Dr. Kenobi thought it would behoove you to spend some time at the local library volunteering.”
Anakin pauses, backpack half-slung off his shoulders. He hangs his stuff up slowly, careful to keep his tone very light. “Did Sheila say what I told him after he said that?” 
His mom’s silence is very loud.
“I don’t want to do i—”
“I asked the new librarian about it on my way home from the station. She thinks it’s a wonderful idea. Apparently we used to have a program like that in the forties but it died out during the war.”
“Mom, come on—”
“It’ll look good on resumes, saying you created and supported a local reading program.”
“Yeah, but I’m a bit too old to be applying for babysitting positio—”
“It’ll look good for me as well,” Shmi says in her sheriff voice. “Elections are coming up soon. It’ll be good, if my kid was involved in the community.”
Anakin’s glad that his back is still turned to the living room, where his mom is sitting. “Are you gonna run again?” he asks, paying special attention to his tone this time.
“Why wouldn’t I?” his mom replies. “I’ve been sheriff for a decade and a half.”
Anakin lets his eyes fall closed for a second, knowing that his face can’t be seen. This is how they end up half the time: Shmi’s ardent belief that she is invincible, going up against Anakin’s desperate desire for her to be so.
And they just don’t talk about it. As if they’re actually in agreement.
He knows how this is going to shake out.
“Do you have any plans tomorrow?” His mother asks.
Anakin’s eyes remain closed. “I guess so,” he says.
—--------
Mrs. Kenobi—call me Satine—is sort of scary up close. She’s tall. She glides between bookshelves. Anakin’s never met someone who glides before. And she’s so intensely, incredibly, blindingly perfect that Anakin would rather be anywhere but in her vicinity. There’s something incredibly unnerving about the symmetry of her face, the sharpness of her cheekbones. She’s obviously an absolute knock-out, just drop-dead gorgeous, but it makes Anakin’s skin crawl and his heart beat fast, but not in a good way or a normal teenage boy way.
Anakin tries to keep the unease off his face as Satine leads him through a tour of the library, a gentle hand on his forearm. That’s another thing Anakin doesn’t really like. She’s wearing satin gloves. He doesn’t know anyone who wears gloves anymore.
It’s just all a bit…unsettling.
“I put in a few words around the school yesterday afternoon,” Satine tells him. They pass by the mystery section, the fantasy section, and take a hard right into the young adult section. The shelves are smaller here, and Anakin feels rather stupidly gigantic as he and Satine walk through them. “To some parents picking their children up after school. They agreed it would be good exposure to bring them to the library for an hour or so of reading before supper.”
Anakin highly doubts it will be, but Satine hasn’t really asked him.
She sweeps past his figure and pushes open a pair of double doors with a flourish better suited for a Russian tsarina hosting an elaborate ball than a small town librarian showing off a small, cramped, and dusty room filled with padded seats and threadbare rugs.
And then, as if she has been waiting to put the last nail in the proverbial coffin, Satine adds, “A few students from the local high school will be here as well.”
“Sorry,” Anakin says, “are you saying I’m going to be reading to high school students? Can’t they do that themselves?”
After all, Anakin went to high school here. Academics hadn’t been too rigorously challenging, but they’d taught the fucking basics.
Satine raises one perfectly plucked eyebrow in his direction. “They’ll be volunteering as well.”
Oh. Right.
“It looks good on their college applications,” Satine waves a hand through the air and the words linger there. Anakin looks out the rather dirty window, jaw clenching. “I’ve already chosen a handful of books I think the young ones will enjoy.”
Anakin, committed to his fate, pads over to the titles placed carefully ontop of a short, stout side table. 
“Peter the Rabbit,” he reads off the top. “Peter Pan. Alice in Wonderland. Treasure Island. The Prince and the Pauper—look, you’re the librarian here, but don’t you have anything written this century maybe? Harry Potter, even.”
“These are classics,” Satine tells him, her nose raised into the air as if she has encountered something particularly foul-smelling. She turns away, presumably to return to the front desk so she can welcome half the fucking town inside the library so Anakin can read them fucking Anne of Green Gables and become a better person.
“These are fucking boring,” he mutters to himself, flicking the cover of the first book, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz open. Publication date: 1900. “I’d rather be in Kenobi’s office getting lectured at.”
There’s a sharp noise of disapproval from the doorway, and Anakin’s head snaps up to see the tail end of a very heated look from the librarian before the door closes behind her.
He shivers, alone in the emply room, and it takes several long minutes for his heart to settle back into its normal pace. 
—----------
After the fourth kid sneezes, Anakin closes his book with a snap and stands from the very small chair they’ve got him sitting on. “Come on,” he tells the cluster of children he’s been assigned to. “We’re getting out of here.”
“Are you kidnapping us?” One of them, a snot-nosed kid who’d started the sneezing says, rubbing at her cheek beneath her glasses. “Cause mommy says that’s not allowed.”
“I’m not kidnapping you,” Anakin snaps back, barely holding in his natural follow-up to the sentence which is of course, I don’t want to be around any of you in the first place. “Also, just for future reference, you shouldn’t ask if someone’s kidnapping you after you already start following them.”
The girl scowls and reaches up her hand to hold onto Anakin’s. 
For the love of Christ.
“We’re just going to go into the main part of the library,” Anakin tells his children, all six of them. “They have windows out there.”
They have windows out there and they also have parents. Parents who absolutely should be doing other things with their lives and precious hour of extra freetime.
Parents who are clustered instead around the library’s front desk as the town’s newest librarian holds court.
“Is reading time over?” one of the kids asks him, turning his head to look up at Anakin.
Anakin thinks about it. “Do you want reading time to be over?”
The kid thinks about it back. “Yeah,” he decides. “You don’t do the voices good.”
“It’s a boring book,” Anakin tells the kid. “Voices aren’t going to make it better.”
“Voices always make it better,” another kid says. “They make everything better.”
“Oh look,” Anakin says. “Is that your father?”
He gestures vaguely towards the cluster of drooling middle-aged somethings focused on Satine.
The kid peeks around his thigh and then shakes his head. “No,” he says. “That’s Dr. Obi.”
“Dr. Obi!” The kid holding Anakin’s hand says, and she lets go.
Anakin gets a bad feeling about this, a feeling that only doubles when he turns around to see Dr. Kenobi sauntering towards him, hands tucked into the pockets of a long dark jacket that makes him look even more pale than he already is.
He scowls automatically as the man gets closer. “Dr. Obi.”
Dr. Kenobi spares him a look that’s far too amused for Anakin’s pleasure before he crouches down to the level of the kids. “Hello there, young ones,” he says, opening his arms to accept a hug from the traitor of a girl Anakin’s just spent thirty minutes reading to. “Are you eating all your vegetables? Even the brussel sprouts?”
“I like brussel sprouts,” one of the kids reports sounding proud, and that starts a cacophony of opinions about brussel sprouts from all around Anakin.
“Wow! One of mine just absolutely hates them,” Dr. Kenobi says. “She refuses to eat them, so you’re very brave, Michele.” He lets go of the girl and turns his golden-brown gaze up to Anakin. “And what does Mr. Skywalker think?” he asks, raising a hand for Anakin to take. It’s very obvious he’s asking for a hand up and Anakin is obeying before he thinks about it. He snatches his hand free almost too soon, but Dr. Kenobi doesn’t even have the grace to lose his balance and fall over. 
His hand is like ice in Anakin’s, and Anakin stuffs his fingers into the pocket of his jacket automatically a second later.
“Do brussel sprouts help with circulation?” he’s biting out before he can stop himself. “Cause you may need some then.”
Kenobi’s head tilts very slightly to the side as his eyes catch and hold onto Anakin’s. “Oh?” he asks lightly. 
“You’re cold,” is all Anakin mutters in return. He swipes his other hand against the back of his neck. “”S poor circlutation, isn’t it? Something in your diet maybe?” Dr. Kenobi blinks at him and then breaks into a wide smile. “I can assure my diet is very…circulation-mindful,” he says. “Blood health positive.”
Anakin’s mouth thins into a line. He guesses that’s what he gets for trying to give health advice to a doctor, especially a doctor like Kenobi who just so happens to be devastatingly attractive and also smart.
And also an asshole. And also married.
Speaking of which. “Are you here to fend off your wife’s admirers with a scalpel?” Kenobi’s eyebrows raise. “Young ones,” he turns his head away from Anakin, down to the children.
The strangest feeling breaks of Anakin the second Kenobi looks away, almost as if a strange pressure he hadn’t even realized had been building was suddenly dissolved.
The very small beginnings of a headache begin to thrum in his temples.
“Young ones, it’s time to find your parents, isn’t it?” Kenobi says, and like fucking magic, the crowd of six children around Anakin disperse, children swarming away from him towards the group of adults surrounding the front desk.
“Can you teach me how to do that?” Anakin blurts out, even though he’d meant to ignore Kenobi now that he doesn’t have to make nice in front of small kids. Not that he was really making nice in the first place. But now he definitely doesn’t have to.
Kenobi gives him a half-smile, eyes heavy-lidded. “It’s a special sort of skill that takes, above all else, much practice.”
Anakin scowls. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Does Kenobi think he can’t commit himself to something even as mundane as a fucking commanding persona? Does he think he doesn’t have it in him to be–-
Kenobi’s eyebrows go up again. “Has anyone ever told you that you are exceedingly defensive?” 
“You’re extremely nosey,” Anakin snaps back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t you have better things to focus on right now anyway?”
He gestures loosely towards Satine, who has started playing with one of the mother’s bracelets as the other woman stands and looks at her rather dumbfounded.
Kenobi follows his gaze and then lets out a huff of laughter. “Satine can take care of herself,” he says, even though it hadn’t really been Satine that Anakin was worried about.
He’s about to open his mouth to say so when Kenobi turns back to him. His eyes are piercing, a dark, captivating sort of gold. 
“Do you find my wife beautiful, Anakin?” he asks.
Anakin blinks. His headache is getting worse, which is probably down to what can only be a trick-question fashioned to look like a grenade lobbed at his feet. “I don’t think there’s a good answer to that,” he mutters, rubbing absently at his forehead. “What the fuck.”
“An honest answer is a good one,” Kenobi says lightly. “Tell me honestly.”
The words feel pulled from Anakin’s stomach, and he’s opening his mouth before he realizes it. “No,” he says. 
Kenobi’s eyebrows crinkle together. “No?”
Anakin curses his stupid impulse control. “She’s beautiful,” he adds quickly. “Really. But…it makes me uncomfortable.”
Kenobi’s lips purse, and then there’s something like disappointment in his eyes as he examines Anakin. “Ah yes,” he murmurs. “I’ve been told my wife can make countless young men feel rather uncomfortable. It’s normal in men your age, Anakin. Sexual ar—”
“Uncanny,” Anakin blurts out. He doesn’t mean to, but he also doesn’t want to listen to  Kenobi trying to lecture him on fucking arousal in the public library. When it’s not even relevant. “She’s so beautiful, it’s uncanny.”
“Uncanny.”
“Yeah, like. Monstrous.”
Kenobi’s mouth falls open, pink lips parted in what looks like honest surprise.
Anakin’s own eyes widen as it hits him that he’s just called Kenobi’s wife a monster to Kenobi’s face.
“Shit,” he says. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m going to go.” 
He throws a look at Kenobi, whose eyes are lit with something a lot like interest and then across the library to where Satine’s head is turned, cocked, and eyebrows up high on her forehead, as if she’s just heard everything he’s said.
He decides rather immediately that he’s going to take the backdoor exit.
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maraeffect · 7 months
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there is literally not a worse feeling that exists than the feeling that you just annoy people.
#just doesn't exist. I'm so fucking isolated right now i absolutely hate it. and the people that ARE close to me?#i feel that i annoy them the most and one of them is actively pushing me away#i can't find anyone to be friends with me IRL here in Jersey. it's been almost nine months here#and I don't have a single IRL friend. i try online apps and support groups but nothing clicks#and the people that chat with me on the apps stop answering after 2 messages.#my own best friend of like 8 years won't even fucking talk to me. not bc she hates me or anything#but she is so fucking caught up in her own head that she literally avoids me. so that sucks!!#i know she's suffering bc she is so worried about me but. it's a really big slap in the face that#we've supported each other thru thick and thin the past 8 years. and i dropped everything for her more than once#but in my time of biggest need when I'm the most alone I've ever been in my adult life???#she cannot show up for me. that fucking sucks.#and I've distanced myself from my only close family bc they've severely mistreated me so.#all i have is my partner. who means the world to me and sacrifices so much to help me!!#but it comes at the cost of CONSTANTLY feeling like a huge fucking annoyance to the only person in my life#who is genuinely able to show that they love and care for me. that's literally awful to feel.#we just had our 5 year anniversary and i needed something really celebratory so badly.#and it didn't happen and our ''anniversary'' was just at home#and our official anniversary of starting dating is on veterans Day. and we won't even be in the same fucking region#so I'll be alone with my shitty family.#i hate it i feel so unappreciated and unwanted and like nothing about me is ever enough.#negative#audio
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widevibratobitch · 7 months
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hella1975 · 2 years
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dude congratulations on telling ur mom about fanfic!! it was super brave of u and i'm glad she reacted well :) ur so cool xx
i HATE myself i was immediately like 'this is sarcastic' no bitch you have trust issues anywayyyyyyy thank you bestie!!! she however immediately dobbed me in it by bringing it up in front of my very judgemental sister yesterday like 'what was that thing you said [my name]? fan fiction?' and my sister went 'oh yeah?' but held eye contact with me the WHOLE TIME
#im actually really annoyed about it? like i SAID to my mum 'dont tell [sister's name]' bc she'll assume fanfic is something i Partake in#and she's of the generation that judges that shit#like i SAID to my mum 'you genuinely just dont get it like of course YOU think it sounds cool bc you only know it as a concept'#like she couldn't get her head around it when i said people are really really mean about this kind of thing#but still she agreed not to bring it up and then?? immediately did???#and she does this ALL THE TIME like i tell her not to tell my sister shit and she says she wont#and then she does???#bc her attitude is 'i hate when we have secrets' okay but also sometimes it's just not your place to say shit??#like when i came out to her i made it VERY clear that it was MY choice to tell me sister if and when i wanted to#and i was and still am not in a place where im willing to do that#and like a WEEK after i came out to my mum she - IN FRONT OF MY SISTER - looked me in the eye upon a convo#we were having about gay people and went 'are you bisexual then?' and i had to LIE and say no which is obviously such an awful feeling#and she just played dumb??????????#AND AND AND this whole thing ive got atm with the therapist and my ~exam anxiety~ i hadn't told my sister about#bc i just didnt want to talk about it bc i know it's a toxic mindset to have but im still in a place#where im really embarrassed about it all#AND MY MUM TOLD MY SISTER?!?!?! it's all just so fucking annoying but if i stopped telling her shit she would hit the ROOF#anyway sorry to derail your positive ask anon i dont regret telling my mum about fic she just keeps ignoring my requests for privacy lol#ask
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musaeon · 1 year
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i am. having many thoughts about the latest pjs/ekai event and. MAN. i want mafuyu to be happy... and safe bc her mother sure is! something!
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eccentriccryptid · 2 years
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Moms will literally blame everything but themselves and then also cry about it
#I forgot how much I hate being at home#‘why aren’t you going to spend time with us?’#idk maybe because I did last night and you were fucking mean to me?#like you don’t get to be rude and also entitled to my company#she said earlier this week ‘oh we should play that game from last year on Christmas this year’#and by that she meant the d&d campaign that I spent weeks on#writing a custom campaign making maps making them each a character sheet and painting minis and making spell cards and inventory packs#plus loads more#and then they decided they’d rather watch football and then were too tired after to play my game#so yeah I was incredibly upset and threw it all away and have no trace of it anymore#and I told her that and she was like ‘what do you mean it’s gone we still have our papers you gave us’#and I was considering rewriting the campaign but fuck that#I’m not getting my heart broken again by them#anyway this turned into a huge rant#Didn’t mean for it too but I’m just so tired of her bs#and then if you’re ever like ‘hey maybe think about why your kids don’t want to spend time with you’#it’s the whole ‘obviously I’m a horrible mother I’m just so awful’ and then tears#also I do so much shit for her and hardly get a thank you#last night I spent like a half hour troubleshooting this Christmas light program she made#because something was being weird and I knew it was really important to her#not even one fucking thank you#like you could be a little appreciative but whatever I guess#ugh fuck I’m just over it
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ragingbookdragon · 4 months
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It comes as somewhat a surprise when the others realize that something has obviously happened between their resident Lieutenant and Private, as she’s quick to fall silent whenever he appears, and even more so make herself scare when she can when he’s around. It’s only the third time that Soap sees it that he says something, because if he doesn’t no one else will, and where’s the fun in that?
He watches her duck her head and leave the break room, Gaz, Soap, Price, and Ghost sitting alone at the breakfast table conversing over soggy cereal and cooling tea; Soap pushes a piece of bacon on his plate and asks, “Trouble in paradise, Lt?” the corner of his mouth arches with a slight grin when he hears the warning grunt come from Ghost.
“No.”
“Seems like it,” he retorts, taking a sip of his coffee. “What’d ya do? Tell her ta fuck off?”
“Drop it, MacTavish,” Ghost warns darkly. “Nothing’s wrong.”
This time, Gaz jumps in. “C’mon, Lt., it’s obvious that something’s wrong. I mean, she won’t even look at you, let alone say anything unless you speak first.”
“An’ she’s callin’ ‘im ‘sir.’” Soap adds, pointing at him. “Christ, Lt., ya musta done a number on ‘er. Poor Puffin. So sweet and kind. Broke ‘er heart ya did.”
Price can tell that Ghost is close to snapping at the both of them but gets to it before he does. “Soap, Gaz, go catalogue our inventory for the mission next week.”
“Aw, but we already d—” Soap falls silent when Price shoots him a look and quietly grumbles to himself as he grabs his plate and cup, Gaz following in suit.
It’s only until the two soldiers are alone that Price asks, “What did happen, Simon?”
Ghost lets out a long sigh and rolls his head back, staring at the ceiling. “Pretty much told ‘er to fuck off.”
Price watches quietly as Ghost begins rattling to himself—he’s never really had to ask the man to explain himself. All he’s gotta do is prompt him to do so and Ghost does the rest.
“I just got mad. She’s always ‘round and practically up my arse, and I got caught up and instead of ‘andlin’ it properly, I shoved my fucking foot in my mouth and scalped her.” He rubs a hand over his face. “I meant to be gentler but once I started, I couldn’t stop. It just kept comin’ out. And now she fuckin’ hates me.”
He pulls his hand down and looks up at Price with a scowl—the man is smiling at him, but it’s that stupid smile that means more than Ghost wants to admit it does.
“Quit that.”
“You care about her,” Price murmurs, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, though his admonish is still harsh. “And instead of telling her how you felt like a grown adult, you took the ten-year-old way out and decided to be a cunt to her.”
“I didn’t mean to be such a cunt.”
“But the fact of the matter is that you did, and you’ve screwed up team fluidity and cohesion.” He looks at him. “You know a team divided—”
“Can’t stand,” Ghost finishes with an even worse scowl. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” He looks away. “I just don’t know how to even start tryin’ to fix it.”
“Well, apologizing might be a good start,” Price rumbles with a grin. “She’s a good kid, Simon. Her heart’s in the right place, even if it’s a bit much at times. Shows she cares. More than most do in our line of work. She’s a rare one.”
“I know,” he admits in a much, much softer tone. “I just don’t want her to lose that doin’ this.” His eyes meet Price’s, and they hold such a misery. “Look at us, Price,” he mutters, gesturing between them. “Middle age, unmarried, no kids, too fucked up for anything like that. She doesn’t…” he clenches his jaw. “She deserves a better path, a safer path, than this life. She deserves to go out and have a life where she comes home to a family.”
“That’s not your choice to make, son,” he replies gently, but there’s a firmness to it. “If this is what she wants to do, then she will. We can’t make her get out of service.”
Ghost growls low in his throat. “She has so much more potential than being cannon fodder. She could do somethin’ with her life. Somethin’ good. Somethin’ that won’t have her dying face down in the sand with a bullet wound in the back.”
Price simply watches him.
“But she’s so fuckin’ stupid. She wants to be here. She wants to spend whatever time she has dodgin’ bullets and wakin’ up every night in sweat ‘cause she can’t escape the dreams. No one wants to do this. We don’t want to do this. We do this because we have to. But her? She’s happy here.” He lowers his voice, it’s as if he’s in disbelief. “She’s happy here.” He looks at Price. “Why? Why is she so happy here?”
It's another long moment before Price speaks.
“You hear, son, but you don’t listen.” He moves the cup on the saucer. “She bounced around homes growing up, scraped by on the skin of her teeth. She has no one. But here, she has something. She has people who care for her, if nothing else, they won’t let her die alone.”
“Oh what? So, it’s found family bullshit?” Ghost spits. “If she dies, at least the team would mourn her?”
“Isn’t that what you’ve done too?” he replies, and Ghost falls silent. “People like Gaz, Soap, and myself are different than you and she are, Simon. We have homes. We’ve had families that have loved us, that do love us. But you two? Simon, you’ve made a home where you’ve had to. Made a family out of people you’ve bled for, would gladly bleed for. You’ve made something that’s yours. You made a family for yourself. And so did she. She’s made us her family. The one she never had the privilege to call her own.”
Price lets out a quiet hum, and pats his thighs, standing up and pushing his chair in.
“Think on what I’ve said, son. And if nothing else, apologize and leave it at that. Put the ball in her court and let her make the next move.”
As he walks off, he hears, “And if she doesn’t want it?”
He tosses a knowing look over his shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll take it.” His eyes twinkle as he adds, “Takes an awful strong woman to care about a man like you.”
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astonmartinii · 1 month
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i love him, it's ruining my life [guilty as sin part one] | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader
a contract ends, a relationship is exposed and even with everything on the line, she still loves him.
MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 621,099 others
yourusername: out and about town
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user1: girl? girl? GIRL?
user2: carlos' career is DEAD AND SHE'S POSTING VACATION PICS ON INSTAGRAM
user3: at least they're cute instagram pics
landonorris: y/n i think it's time you finally take that phone off of do not disturb
yourusername: but that's the perpetual state of my phone i am a poet i was born to be in the woods, if you have news tell me now before i close this app in 20 seconds
landonorris: i don't want to air your brother's business out in a public instagram comments literally just scroll through your timeline idiot
yourusername: wait let me open the family group chat
yourusername: WHAT
user4: are we about to see her reaction to carlos losing his seat in real time?
user5: let me grab my popcorn one sec
yourusername: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?
landonorris: take your phone off DND for once in your life and maybe you’d be clued in on the news
charles_leclerc: and while you’re at it reply to all the tiktoks i sent you
landonorris: not the time leclerc
charles_leclerc: but but but my tiktoks… i finally got a tarot card reading that resonates
landonorris: NOT THE TIME
charles_leclerc: don’t hate the player hate the game
carlossainz55: really?
charles_leclerc: i am TALKING ABOUT TIKTOKS LEAVE ME ALONE
yourusername: this is a lot - gosh can’t a girl go on holiday without everything imploding (i'll check the tiktoks in a second)
user6: anyone kinda weirded out that charles is just here joking with y/n as if his teammate and her brother hasn’t just been forced out of a job?
liked by carlossainz55
user7: babe he wasn’t forced out of a job, his contract wasn’t renewed. the last time i checked this was a sport where they compete not sit around and sit kumbaya
liked by charles_leclerc
user8: oh! they’re both liking shady comments already, it’s been a day since the announcement
user9: this is gonna get ugly isn’t it?
user10: awful, truly. i’m sat.
carlossainz55
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1,029,458 others
carlossainz55: love all, trust a few and do wrong to none
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user11: .... right, what ever the fuck that means?
user12: i mean i was just here to celebrate the win what is all this poetry
user11: are we shading charles? lewis? ferrari?
yourusername: shakespeare, really?
carlossainz55: i can read you know
yourusername: oh really, that's news to me
user13: erm you guys i thought the whole job loss thing was meant to bring the family together....
user14: they joke like this all the time this is just sibling banter
user15: idk it's reading a lil more tense than usual, not that there's any reason for that (that we know of)
charles_leclerc: doing the tifosi proud ❤️
carlossainz55: will do while i can
user16: yall .... what happened to the chemistry
user17: they were never friends - pierre tried to tell yall
landonorris: a carlando podium !!! lets do this every week
carlossainz55: golf buddies and podium buddies - you love to see it
landonorris: LETS GO WILD AND PUT IT ON FERRARIS TAB THEY OWE YOU
landonorris: i mean let's celebrate your triumph good pal!
user18: the PR monster got lando :( rip
carlossainz55: just being able to win in front of the most important people in my life is enough
user19: does anyone else think it was weird that y/n wasn't at the race?
user20: like y/n loves australia she litr says that she was an aussie in a past life...
user21: also the most recent carlos comment... is y/n not one of the most important people in his life?
user22: do we think something has happened? like maybe he thought she should've cut her holiday short to come home to support him?
user23: also the fact that her and charles were immediately like joking around with each other? maybe it just rubbed him the wrong way
user24: but not even considering her an important person to him? and also that just seems like he's shifting all the blame to charles when it's ferrari who haven't extended the contract
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maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 892,309 others
tagged: kellypiquet & yourusername
maxverstappen1: she says she's a professional third wheel, i call that being a LEECH
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user29: unlikely trio but somehow my favourite
user30: y/n really be their overgrown child
yourusername: how am i the leech when i paid for the ice cream mr millionaire 🤨
maxverstappen1: ever thought about how i want to spend quality time with my girlfriend?
yourusername: won't someone think of the children
maxverstappen1: ur 23
yourusername: that's it! p and i are unionising against this if you find suspiciously well drawn crayon graffiti on your walls it was NOT me
maxverstappen1: don't threaten my walls if you still want to come to races
yourusername: low blow 😩
user31: does that mean... she's not going to races with carlos?
user32: she's always been in his garage tho like even with how close her and max have always been SHE'S ALWAYS IN GARAGE 55
user33: i feel like this has something to do with the whole seat situation i'm not sure how but like i think there's something weird going on here
kellypiquet: don't worry @yourusername it might be max's house but it's p that has the final say
yourusername: no one gets bluey like i do
maxverstappen1: yeah but while you're here you get the best seat at the tea party IT'S NOT FAIR
yourusername: well one of us can name all the disney princesses and one of us can't
user34: so.... y/n is living with max? but i thought her and carlos shared an apartment in madrid?
user35: guys i'm so confused
user36: we need the twitter detectives on this asap
charles_leclerc: no lec... when i specifically sent you a PR bundle, you hate to see it
maxverstappen1: you only sent that to us for y/n
charles_leclerc: maybe! but i have it on good authority that you loved the vanilla
maxverstappen1: ummmmmmm no i'm a professional athlete, y/n ate all of it
yourusernames: FALSEHOODS
charles_leclerc: i know who i believe
maxverstappen1: why is everyone ganging up on me in this comment section
user37: charles sending lec to max's house just for y/n WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN
user38: and does it have anything to do with carlos maybe kicking her out
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 673,892 others
yourusername: gotta make sure i give p a reason to tell me stick around
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user39: charles is always in the likes before me and i have notifications on
user40: they seem like such close friends it's so annoying that they're never spotted together at a race and we have no pictures of them :(
charles_leclerc: why do i never get any baked goods i literally sent my ice cream to my arch rivals house just for you
yourusername: you're never in the fucking country that's why
charles_leclerc: i have this kind of demanding job i don't know if you knew
yourusername: i also have the demanding job of being sexy and i cope just fine
charles_leclerc: i heard you got employee of the year, hard to be too upset when you're the competition
yourusername: better luck next time babe
user41: openly flirting with the guy that caused her brother to lose his job, this girl is just shameless
yourusername: do you think charles is the literal ceo of ferrari?
user42: why are you defending charles more than your actual brother?
yourusername: i feel like i gotta make this statement every three buisness days on here but like you people don't know what happens in our personal lives and i can defend my friends if i feel they're being unnecessarily questioned
user43: queen snapped omg
user38: they always be out here trying her like she's not a writer and poet SHE WILL READ YOU FOR FILTH
maxverstappen1: pretty sure she'd replace you with me in like two seconds so you're safe until [redacted] gets home
yourusername: i'm pretty sure with the right campaign i could sway jimmy and sassy to my side as well
user44: who the FUCK IS REDACTED
maxverstappen1: wouldn't you like to know 🤨
yourusername: max ???
maxverstappen1: what? i didn't have friends growing up i like that you tell me secrets
yourusername: oh :(
maxverstappen1: you wanna tell me more?
yourusername: NO YOU ALREADY KNOW THE BIGGEST ONE
maxverstappen1: true 💅🏻
user45: so like the secret is defo a relationship right?
user46: do we think carlos knows?
user47: by the fact that he's not in these comments... probably not
user48: so like he looses his seat and finds out his sister is in a secret relationship? someone give the guy a break
user49: or maybe, just maybe, there's a reason that y/n hasn't told carlos and he's not the guy we all think he is
liked by charles_leclerc
user50: OH? this war is so on ....
f1teaspill
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liked by user51, user52 and 31,845 others
tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc
f1teaspill: the war at ferrari is heating up... turns out there's a lot carlos didn't know and FOR YEARS. yes, you're reading that right, y/n sainz and charles leclerc have been in a relationship for at least two years and believe us we have a VERY credible source like WITHIN THE FAMILY level source.
the most important thing about this whole relationship is how carlos did not know for years, so how much more was hidden from him? did y/n know about the seat swap for lewis? was she leaking strategies to charles? was she sabotaging her own brother?
view all comments
user53: OH SHITTTTTTTTTT
user54: cancel me if you will but i think the hottest couple in f1 just dropped
user55: the fact we've been robbed of content of them for years .... i'm angry I NEED THE POETRY ABOUT CHARLES
user56: i'm gonna need y/n or charles to drop all the pics in response
user57: y'all a source "within the family"? did these fools find out about y/n's relationship and immediately run to an f1 TEA PAGE???
user58: that's some goofy ass shit
user59: i find it funny that instead of sitting down and thinking about why their daughter/sister didn't feel comfortable enough to tell you about her relationship they're like i know EXACTLY who needs to hear this
user60: the way it's proved her completely right to not tell them
user61: do you guys think this is like a tv show or like fan fiction? in what world is y/n sharing strategies to fuck over her own BROTHER?
user62: also be for fucking real... strategies? ferrari? at least try and be realistic
user63: also.... walk with me .... why would y/n and charles conspire to put lewis hamilton in carlos' seat? LEWIS FUCKING HAMILTON AND SEVEN TIME WORLD CHAMPION? WHY WOULD CHARLES WANT TO TAKE HIM ON OVER A GUY HE'S ALREADY BEATEN TWICE
user64: see this is the point! sainz camp you can try and demonise charles and yOUR OWN DAUGHTER all you want but we all know it's bull shit
user65: one thing about this that really rubs me the wrong way is that the sainz camp clearly expected that if y/n was in a relationship with charles that she would've been a double agent for carlos? and because she's not fucking insane they're now going for character assassination of their own SISTER/DAUGHTER
user66: THIS THIS THIS
user67: carlos won't even consider y/n an "important" person in his life but expect her to sacrifice or exploit her relationship for cheap psychological points
user68: also y/n isn't even at most races so how is she getting carlos' strategies to give to charles? this shit doesn't make any sense
user69: carlos himself has said in an interview that y/n is useless when it comes to racing that she's just a supportive figure rather than someone who has any in depth racing knowledge
user70: this is insane level hating with all the evidence out here... and against your own family...
user71: this just makes me think that y/n wasn't in australia for a reason - like was she banned from carlos' garage
user72: and the fact she's been staying at max's it just makes me think that y/n was kicked out of her and carlos' apartment
user73: now tHATS INSANE
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espnf1
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liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 1,025,788 others
tagged: carlossainz55, charles_leclerc & yourusername
espnf1: well... this could be awkward
view all comments
user77: espn babe you're just like me
user78: *slides $5 across the bar* get a camera in the ferrari garage?
espnf1: we're working on it 😩
user79: pierre and max here... they really are the paddock gossip girls
maxverstappen1: i guess carlos couldn't handle that i knew who redacted was before him 🤷🏻‍♂️
carlossainz55: really?
maxverstappen1: don't put your sister on the streets and i won't dunk these jokes on your head
user80: is this like the official f1 civil war?
carlossainz55: you don't know anything max, i'd really keep your nose out of our business
maxverstappen1: i actually know exactly how you guys move, you tried it on 17 year old me and it becomes my business when my best friend calls me with no where else to go (also i know you changed the locks while you were in maranello so she wouldn't be able to go to charles, you're not slick)
carlossainz55: i never took you as a lap dog max
yourusername: calling him the lap dog when you're the biggest bitch on the grid - bold
carlossainz55: you're burning a lot of bridges for a talentless slut who had to start fucking my teammate when we cut you off
yourusername: keep throwing your PR to the fire and see who fucking hires you, i guess we'll both be unemployed bums
user80: also imagine calling her talentless like she isn't a well established poet LOL
user81: guys this is getting so bad so quickly
user82: we got the whole rest of the season of this
user83: mad respect to max for sticking up for his bestie
user84: and her actual boyfriend isn't?
yourusername: charles will do his talking on the track like he always does. he won't debase himself with bickering in instagram comments, funnily enough ferrari don't like that - might be the reason he still has a seat and someone doesn't
carlossainz55: or he's a pussy who has his woman talk for him
yourusername: at least he has a woman to talk for him, he doesn't behind his dad at any sign of trouble. i've always known i didn't matter to dad the moment i wasn't a boy but i'm not afraid of him or you and i know exactly how you work. good luck
user85: do they know we can all read this?
user86: when i'm in an oversharing contest and the sainz siblings walk in
user87: those ferrari debriefs are gonna be AWKWARD
yourusername: especially since he doesn't have binotto to hide behind any more
user88: girl you good?
yourusername: i've never been better, this has been building for years even before charles and i got together
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 908,487 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: i love you, it's ruining my life
view all comments
user89: y/n i'm gonna let you finish but we could really get the best poetry out of all of this
user90: for real like yeah i'm sorry your brother tried to make you homeless, exposed your relationship, accused you of treason and called you a talentless slut - but think of the poetry!
charles_leclerc: i love you and i hope you're okay
yourusername: i'll always be okay with you
charles_leclerc: it's out now and no one can take us away from each other
charles_leclerc: i'd actually love to see them try
yourusername: i'd go through this fortnight of hell over and over again if it meant i'd still keep you
charles_leclerc: i'd like to say this is the end of it but i think we're in for the long run now
yourusername: i'm prepared to go to war for you
charles_leclerc: there's no one i'd rather be on the front lines with
user91: oh brother... YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A POET WE GET IT
charles_leclerc: * in love with
user91: oh my bad
charles_leclerc: no worries
user91: STILL GROSS BRO
liked by maxverstappen1
charles_leclerc: max ???
maxverstappen1: you guys need to calm down cause i'm not good with words and kelly is gonna start scrutinising my cards and i DO NOT HAVE THE VOCABULARY FOR IT
yourusername: lol
maxverstappen1: lol? LOL? did our brief yet forced stint as roommates mean nothing?
yourusername: fine i'll ghostwrite your valentines cards
user92: so this is all a bit melodramatic
user93: he CHANGED THE LOCKS BRO SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE MELODRAMATIC
liked by charles_leclerc
user94: okay so now we're in full blown f1 civil war - who is on each side?
user95: well max and pierre are on charles' side. i'd also add in lewis, seb, oscar, esteban, george, alex, yuki and daniel
user96: so carlos has lando and fernando?
fernandoalo_oficial: it might not be blood but that's my daughter
user96: ????
user97: did he just show up to diss carlos and then refuse to elaborate?
user98: sounds like a nando thing to do .... also just leaves carlos with lando lol
user99: this feels a bit unfair
yourusername: all is fair in love and poetry
fin.
note: so as soon as i had this idea (litr TTPD release day) i have been so busy and WHACKED with the worst writer's block but i hope this is a good start and rest assured knowing the beef will only get worse... I LOVE DRAMA
note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx
taglist: @aadu2173 @rhythmstars @kqliie @booksandflowrs @2bormaybenot @firelily-mimi @evie-119
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supercutszns · 5 months
Text
rotten to the touch; luke castellan
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series masterlist
wc: 3.2k
pairing: pre-tlt luke castellan x f! reader
synopsis: you’re pretty sure you’re an awful person. you’re pretty sure luke castellan is too. and you’re pretty sure you want to make out with him.
warnings: reader is flawed & not the greatest, luke is ... a little dark🫣, small mention of blood, swearing, lots of making out but no explicit nsfw, a bit toxic, & no more more ‘i can fix him’ or ‘i can make him worse’ it’s ‘he can make ME worse’
notes: this is… sluttier than my usual stuff so it’s not as good but i’m trying, feedback is appreciated! also i wonder what cabin we think this reader would be in, let me know where you’d place her im curious :) maybe i’ll write more of her in the future she’s interesting!! and thank you for 100 followers i am so grateful<3 designated song for this fic is crush by ethel cain
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You are a miserable, wicked, asshole of a person, and everybody knows it. Including you.
It’s unclear to you why you turned out this way—every reason to blame never satiates the fury searing your insides. All the campers hate you. The counsellors, too. Even Chiron looks down on the viciousness inside you. You are Camp Half-Blood’s black sheep; a mean, bitter person with no love for the people around you. And it’s not just for show. You know you’re rotten. You know the anger will never go away.
It’s evident in the things you think about other people—the way you pick them apart in your head, toss them aside, because they just don’t see it. This miserable, unforgiving world, with children sleeping on wooden floors because the people who created you think you disposable. Because they can just make more of you. More, more, more, until one of you comes out rotten, born of all the ugliness they have inside them. You are the worst parts of Godly blood. The wrathful parts.
Everyone hates you. Everyone hates a person with an unquenchable anger.
But everyone loves Luke Castellan.
He’s a saint at Camp Half-Blood if there ever was one. Handsome, generous, kind. Goes out of his way to help out the new kids and gives them homes in his cabin. He’s the best swordsman in camp by a mile. Shit, you’d even love Luke Castellan if you didn’t know any better.
But you do, and you don’t, and it’s complicated, okay?
Because there’s something you know about Luke Castellan that nobody else does: he’s miserable and wicked, too.
You see it in his eyes sometimes. The way they look at you at dinner, when you’re picking at your food away from anyone else at your table. Something familiar rises in them, and your stomach twists. His body tenses whenever someone mentions his father, but the smiles he flashes are so charismatic nobody notices. But you do. It’s exciting.
During sword practice, he quips back and forth with the kids and laughs whenever they take a jab at him. He’s light, easy, carefree. But you see how he holds back, the tension in his shoulder, the way the arc of his sword never fully finishes. So you wait until everybody leaves and he’s alone, with the training dummies and the setting sun. And you. Hiding.
He slashes through them and spears through their heads. You see it, the gnashing of his teeth, the sweat curling down his cheeks. There’s something there. A chasm he’s hopeless to fill.
Before you know it, you’re going out of your way to catch him training alone. It’s creepy, you know, and awful, you know, but the more you watch him the more you see a sort of violence scabbed under his skin.
Whenever you see him now, the feeling you get is entirely foreign to you. It’s almost . . . longing.
Wherever she is, you’re pretty sure Aphrodite’s having a cosmic fucking laugh. And you’re sure she’s laughing double tonight.
The Aphrodite cabin is hosting some secret party for the older counsellors. You’re definitely of age to be a counsellor, but you’ve never been made one because that would probably make half the campers drop out. Chiron and Mr. D don’t know what to do with you. You’re sure you’ll be kicked out of camp soon for good.
But you’re here anyways, for a reason you don’t want to admit, and you stay tucked in a corner as the world around you mingles. Luke is on the other side of the room, lovely as always, laughing with a few other counsellors. He brings a drink up to his lips, and you have a startling thought of what it would be like to kiss him. And you’re fucked. You’re so fucked. Because for the first time in your life you want something tangible, something real. You want to hear him and feel him and pry him apart, and a part of you wants him to actually see you, see all the awful things that might make you the same. You feel like a teenage girl with a crush, and it is infuriating.
An Aphrodite girl comes up to you with a foolish smile. “Hey, sorry, you want a drink?”
“Fuck off, you idiot,” you snarl.
You wait for her to leave. She doesn’t. “You know, you don’t have to be so mean all the time,” she says evenly. “If you’re here, you might as well enjoy it. So yes, I want to give you a drink.”
“Have you ever thought that I’m not being mean? Maybe I just am.”
You glare at her. She looks you up and down. “Sure,” she shrugs, walking away. There’s a vivid picture in your mind of her falling through a hole in the cabin floor. It doesn’t soothe you, but at least the fantasy is there.
The night drones on. You’re sick of the smells and the laughs and the heat. And you’re sick of yourself. You can’t believe, underneath all your sourness, you came here to stare at a boy you barely know, and you don’t even know why. He’s fascinating, and you resent him, and he’s also beautiful. But he’s looked back at you all of three times tonight and you’re sick of the way your skin crawls when he does.
Leaving the cabin brings the relief of the cool night air, and the singularity of your body. You are the only one who feels this rage. You are the only one who hates.
To stave off your discomfort you walk around to the back of the cabin, to the crest of the hill facing the water. The stars above twinkle at you in spite. There’s a bitterness in your throat you want to wash down with something worse (maybe you should have taken that drink), but you know it won’t matter. Nothing matters. Those stars and whatever they hide are apparently the only important things in the universe, so why should anyone care about anything?
They stars only get brighter. It’s probably their goal to piss you off. You grunt, “Oh, fuck you,” to them. It’s not enough, never nearly enough to expel the rotten part of you. “Fuck you. Fuck off!” You groan at the sky. Nothing happens. Until:
“I’m guessing you’re not having a fun night.”
You whirl around. It’s hard to see in the dark, but whatever light is left catches a long scar on a cheek. Your stomach knots.
“Yeah, me neither,” Luke Castellan says, hands in his pockets as he meanders towards you.
Even when he’s close enough, you don’t say anything. If you do, you’re afraid it’ll be something ugly. Like I kind of want to make out with you. Are you awful too? I need a lobotomy.
The thoughts almost make you laugh. Been a long time since you’ve been funny.
He nods at the sky. “Those things don’t talk. You do know that, right?” He’s still so captivating, so self-assured, even when there’s no one around but you.
“Gods, you’re the worst,” you scoff. You really mean it, so you can’t look him in the eye.
“Then why have you been staring at me all night?”
It catches you so off-guard that you whip back to face him. He has an eyebrow raised and the itch of a smile that makes you burn with shame. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
He shrugs, leaning against the cabin wall. “I’m not stupid. You’ve been brooding in the corner watching me the second you came in.” He cocks his head to the side, adding, “Actually, you stare at me all the time. At meals and stuff. I really hope you don’t think you’re being subtle.”
You huff. “Okay, if we’re really being honest here, you started that! You do it too! All the time!”
His hands shot up like he was being arrested. “Hey, I never said I minded it. A guy’s . . . just gotta wonder. What’s up with you spying on me when I’m training alone, anyways?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You watch me when there’s nobody else around. I’m not blind. It’s weird. If you want tips you can just ask me. Or if you like what you’re looking at, at least be upfront about it.”
You speak before you can take in that last sentence, or the way his smile took pride in itself when he said it, or how embarrassed you should probably feel. “You didn’t answer my question about why you started staring at me first.”
The anger (shame) blinding you made you forget how close you are to him right now. Close enough to touch, but not enough to see. But almost there. Almost.
“People think you’re mean,” Luke says after a moment, his dark eyes probing you. The words curl out of his mouth slowly, like he’s choosing them all with care. “You’re rude. You never listen to anyone. You judge everything. They all think you’re awful.” Again, he looks you over. “I’m not so sure.”
“If I’m awful, then you’re awful,” you spit before he can say anything else.
He just shrugs. “Well, I guess that’s why I’m not sure.”
It’s irritating, his calmness. He has the same anger you do. How come he can just . . . shove it down? You try to unearth any fury in his eyes, but it’s too far back. Simmering. “Jesus,” you mutter, “You’re worse than me.”
He looks genuinely taken aback by this. His scar deepens when his brows wrinkle. “What?”
“You’re a pretender—that’s what you are.” It’s your turn now, to step closer, to make his skin crawl. “Look at you. Everyone loves you. You’re this perfect golden boy and you’re sweet and attentive and whatever the fuck but you know it’s one giant lie. At least I’m honest, but you just sit pretty and act like you don’t have that . . . thing that I have. Resentment. Insanity. Whatever you want to call it. We’re the same, but I’m the only one getting shit for it.”
Now, you are close enough to really see him. The patterns on the wood behind him frame the vision of his ever-shifting face. You realize that this, like most things are to Luke Castellan, is a challenge. You also can’t remember the last time you saw him lose one.
But when you play, you play to win.
“You don’t know that,” he dares.
“Oh, I do. You’re rotten, Castellan,” you sneer, index finger jabbed into his chest. You can feel his heartbeat if you concentrate. “And you’re not owning up to it, so you’re also a coward.”
However scathing you look, it isn’t enough. If anything it only makes Luke’s manner more playful. Nothing feels playful anymore. Everything, inside and outside of your mind, feels like constant, exhausting war. Maybe that’s why you don’t slap his hand off you when it wraps around your wrist, keeping it pressed to the middle of his chest. His heartbeat thrums through you.
He tilts his face towards you, grinning, “Then why do you want to kiss me?”
All right. What the fuck. It feels like you’ve been electrocuted.
“What the—what are you talking about?” You blunder, but he knows, of course he knows, because there’s something between the two of you that has been formed and understood by eye contact alone. He can probably read your mind. As much as you don’t want to admit it, you’d like to read his just as much.
He cocks his head. “I mean, you did call me pretty,” he teases, and it’s almost endearing. “You’re pretty like this too.” His other hand comes up to your face, and you’re surprised you don’t flinch when his thumb gently smooths the crease in your eyebrows. “Don’t call me a coward, heathen. Then we’ll both be embarrassed.”
The nickname makes you want to fight, but the touch makes you dizzy. “You don’t want to kiss me, Luke,” you say with all the control you have, which, right now, is increasingly sparse.
“You’ve gotta stop telling people what they want,” he muses. The hand on your wrist traces further down your forearm. The one on your face snakes around your hips. “One of your more disagreeable qualities.”
His words fan over you. That fire simmering in his eyes has finally come to the surface.
“One of?” You challenge.
“You let me make out with you and I’ll give you a whole list.”
You snort, hoping it hides the shortness in your breath. “What a charmer you are.”
His lips brush yours. “Well, that’s what makes me so rotten, isn’t it?”
There’s hardly time to unravel if that’s a question or a statement because you grab a fistful of his shirt and he kisses you. Your heart detonates. It is not rotten in the slightest.
His body is warm and firm. You smell the cabin wood and the drink on his breath. It all matters, and none of it does. You’re warm everywhere as he wraps both arms around your back, and the way he kisses is, unfortunately, exactly how you thought he would. Your hands are tentative in his hair. So is your mouth on his. But Luke is so deliberate in the way he kisses that you know he’s thought about this, too. It makes you all the warmer.
His hand takes your jaw and tilts it up. You know your neck is shaky with breath, and you’re pretty sure he’s admiring it. You don’t complain when he presses a kiss to your jaw, then another one, like he’s testing the waters. “You’re so nice like this,” he mutters almost to himself, thumb running across your neck. “If only people could see you.”
“Then they’d see how mean you are too, no?” You huff. “You don’t want that.”
Another kiss to your jaw. “Not yet, sweetheart.”
Whatever feeling is harbouring in your body right now, it’s so fulfilling it almost makes you uncomfortable. You want to reject it. You’re not supposed to want things. Worse, you’re not supposed to get things. Luke starts marking a path down your neck and you are so determined to enjoy this that you’d kiss a fucking baby if someone asked you to. You might as well be a saint.
He bites the pulse point on your neck, sure to leave a mark, and a shudder rips through you. You’re pretty sure the bastard starts laughing. You hit his shoulder in retaliation.
“Easy, heathen,” he reprimands in your ear, and you know he’s still smiling.
“Don’t—don’t call me that.” You hate that you start to smile, too, and that your stomach burgeons with butterflies when he pulls back to look at you.
He touches the corner of your upturned mouth, kiss-bitten and red. His expression is boyish. “Hard to when it makes your face do that,” he goads. “I thought it was impossible for you to smile.”
“Be quiet.” You thread a hand through his camp necklace and bring him closer. You can almost taste his mouth on yours, but he sweeps past you at the last minute.
He gently tugs your earlobe with his teeth and whispers, “Yes ma’am.”
Fuck him. Seriously. You might have to.
It’s a tangle of teeth and hands and smiles kept hidden, as you slip your fingertips beneath his shirt and he does the same, and you’re both angry and greedy and incredibly destructive, but it doesn’t matter yet. Now you’re just teenagers fooling around at the back of a party, and it’s the first good thing either of you have had in a long time. Luke leaves you gasping whenever his mouth hits certain places, maybe too many places, and he teases you accordingly. “So sensitive,” he taunts, pressing his knee between your legs so he can see you squirm. You rake your nails through his scalp and he tilts his head back to groan. It shuts him up for a while.
He bites your neck until you say his name. You trace lines on his stomach till he takes your hand in his own. You’ve been hungry for something your whole life, and you finally have something to sink your teeth into. For better or for worse.
After Hades knows how long, laughter floats out from the front of the cabin. Sounds of feet tripping over each other and muffled goodbyes. You pull away from Luke, chests heaving together. His hair is wild, his shirt crumpled, and he looks entirely satisfied with it. Smug little shit. “Party’s letting out,” you mutter.
“What a damn shame.” His hand rubs your jaw, and it’s too tender a gesture so you angle your head away to peek over the side of the cabin. You barely pay attention to the kids straggling back to their bunks.
“Is now the time you tell me all my horrible qualities?” You ask once you’re ready to look at him again.
He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Actually, I came up with more since I said that so I’m pretty sure it’ll take more than one night.” He fakes a wince, “Might have to spread it out for a few days.”
You roll your eyes, “Oh, you ass.”
“I’ll give you one for starters.” You feel like a tornado when he kisses the juncture between your jaw and your neck. “Your hands are too cold.” They’re tucked underneath his shirt right now, pressed against his back. You don’t move them. “And,” he adds, “you’re incredibly crass.”
“Thanks, dipshit.”
“Thank you for proving my point, heathen.”
The commotion at the front gets louder, and you know your time to go undiscovered runs short. “You meet me again tomorrow, and I start telling you the rest?” He raises his brows.
The prospect both repulses and excites you, although perhaps they’re hand-in-hand. You tentatively reach up to trace the scar on his face. A faint, jagged line that holds scripture within it. His eyes flutter shut for a moment. “Even though I’m rotten?” You ask, and there’s an echo of mischief in your voice, too.
He’s got a strange expression when he looks at you. “That’s not true.”
He leans down, angles his head to kiss you. It’s slow, but bitter, and he bites down on your lip until you’re pretty sure there’s blood. “Luke,” you murmur, and he kisses you softer. You lean into him like a hapless, lovesick fool.
After you part, he loosens his grip on you. The bumbling campers have gotten louder. He stares at you, and you see the chasm in his eyes again, brimming with fire. Same as yours. You know you’ll see him tomorrow.
He says, “You’re not rotten. You’re right.”
And damn it, you really do believe him.
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tinylittlebab · 1 year
Text
bleh everything SUCKS
#sisters stupid freind/both our roommate is HORRIBLE#hes so controlling and decided hes in charge of of her#she bought a fish. something that doesnt affect him in the slightest. and hes furious with her#hes like. saying it will cause issues in their friendship if she doesnt get rid of it. hes not even saying that its a problem because he#doenst wanna deal with it bc he has acknowledged that it doesnt affect him. hes angry bc he thinks it was impulsive and irrisposible#which like 1. it wasnt and shes beentalking about getting one for years and can probably afford and take care of it and 2. even uf it was#its not a decision that affects him so he has no right. shes an adult who can make her own choices even if theyre are bad ones#hes so mean to her all the time and demands all her time. talks down all her friends. insults her for wanting a relationship. refuses to#listen to any of her problems or support her and refuses to let her talk about any of her interests he doesnt share either#talks down every hobby she has. calls all of it stupid and a waste of money even though he soends SO much money on clothes all the time#and he gets angry with her when she isnt into the stuff he is (mostly shows). even when she agrees to watch it with him he gets angry if#she isnt as into it as she is. hes just decided theyre in a relationship which means shes not allowed to pursue anyone but he is also not#interested in her in the way she wants. he insults her for wanting anything more out of a relationship bc hes content without it rn#hes awful. i hate him. i dont wanna live with him another year. i dont want her to lose him totally bc theyve been freinds for so long and#she really cares about him but fucking hell. they should NOT live together. gonna apply to some places. this lease ends in 3-4 months so#theres not much time for me to adjust but if im adjusted in time then maybe we will go get an apartment just us 2#and then maybe she can get a fucking support dog like she needs bc shes disabled but he refuses to let her get
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