#'we didn't go to a doctor...' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 11 months

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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

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greencarnation · 6 months

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eleven is fascinating to me because he came right off the back of tens horrible traumatic breakdown after he lost everything and he immediately tried to establish himself as the opposite of that. he is funny and goofy and almost childlike, and he bulldozes on in his adventures with amy like nothing happened at all. but then something happens and his masks slips and it's like oh! the core of this man is still anger. he is so so angry all of the time and this façade is the only thing stopping him from being consumed by it. he isn't over any of it and he hasn't moved on. he is wearing a fez and laughing but under that all that exists is age old anger and grief and it is going to consume him

#i do think that this pit of anger was eventually covered and soothed by the ponds #but he didn't adress it and he couldn't even look at it until he was twelve #when he stopped pushing back and repressing everything and finally allowed himself to exist as he was #but ok listen #its all layed out in the first 3 episodes of season 5 and in the way amy sees him #episode 1. here is the new doctor he is energetic and reeling and fun #episode 2. the space whale comparison. here is the new doctor. he is unthinkably ancient and almost godlike but he is so so kind #and patient and good. he is ancient and lonely but he can't stand to see children cry. so the doctor helps people #episode 3. daleks. the doctor is a soldier. these are his age old enemies. he wants them dead and he will stop at nothing #all logic and reason vanish. he is hitting the dalek with a pipe and yelling his head off while amy watches in horror #like obviously we know why but amy didnt #this is not a sane or rational man he is unstable and angry #and in that episode he was stripped back to what he largely is: hate #you would make a good dalek ect ect ect #anyway 3 episodes with 3 very distinct and equally definitely traits layed out like: here you go #i don't like elevens era much but those first 3 episodes were great #doctor who #eleven #amy #eleventh doctor #matt smith #dr who #dw #i mean idk this is what river literally had to spell out for him #eleven was careening completely out of control #how long til doctor means warrior indeed?#mine

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expelliarmus · 4 months

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#mine #doctor who #dwedit #david tennant #catherine tate #the doctor: I WAS RIGHT!!!! we may die but I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!#i've been meaning to gif this all week but then other gifsets got in the way lol #HELLO FRIENDS IT IS VERY COLD #yesterday it took me 3 hours to drive home from work #it was an absolutely terrible experience. do not recommend #so then i took the day off today because i didn't want to go back out there #but it seems to be a lot better.... just very cold....#i should add it took me 3 hours because of a tiny amount of snow that turned the roads to ice #fun times!!!#edit: oh no... not showing in the tags #i hope it magically fixes itself later :(

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somereallygreathair · 7 months

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king-magppi · 1 year

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Some... What do I even call this, man??😭 I guess some Animal Crossing Psychonauts I thought about before going ham on a bunch of Fred related stuff. VERY Fred-centric post... You can tell he's a favorite.

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blackhholes · 1 month

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Teen Wolf as Arthurian Characters

Theo Raeken as Sir Mordred

#teen wolf #twedit #teen wolf edit #twgifs #theo raeken #mordred #arthurian legend #arthuriana #my gifs #mine #twarthur #i think this was one of the first ones we assigned #and it's sooo fitting cause theo is one of my favs and mordred is one of su's faves #we love betrayal in this house #also something i meant to mention on the mason one that su brought up but forgot and it fits here to so you're getting it #but the dichotomy between theo killing his own sister and getting her heart and that being what makes him viable to be a chimera #vs mason absorbing his twin in utero and that leading to him becoming the beast #like theo's was a conscious act of evil (even if he was 9 and under the influence of the doctors) but mason's was something that happened #before he was even born something he did unconsciously which would lead to him becoming the quote unquote perfect killer for the doctors #theo and mason's whole perfect evil vs truly good schtick is just soooooo delicious to me you don't get it #and the whole idea of like in order to create the beast the doctors couldn't use theo who was ready and willing to kill #but instead they had to corrupt and infect mason who is the best and most just person in the teen wolf universe #I LOVE the dread doctor arc and the entire of season 5 in case you didn't get that and i will stop here but know i could go on forever

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goldkirk · 5 months

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I'm so proud of myself about finances in the past couple months. I still struggle with money but I did enough meditation and journaling and practicing about it to make myself able to actually face my loans and credit cards and savings and bills and start really truly organizing and addressing them for the first time in years instead of just flying by the seat of my pants.

Like. This is a huge deal for me. I've felt like I'm in deadly danger every time I've tried to think about money for years and years. I'm finally able to look it in the face and stare it down and start to organize and plan on purpose instead of just keeping up with the minimum to stay afloat. I'm so proud of myself.

It's still a refrain of "GUILT (funny link)" every time I think about money but I'm able to actually make spreadsheets and face the numbers and monthly tracking again, and even make a new full budget which I haven't been able to do in ages.

still feel guilt, overwhelm, and helplessness, but no longer feel as much deep elemental shame and terror. that's progress baby

#we don't need to talk about how many months and months of therapy visits and doctor appointments I put on credit cards #among other things #but I had to put my foot down about it a couple months ago and shout at myself a little saying HEY #I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM SHOUTING FOR YOU TO HEAR #OF COURSE IT WAS A TERRIBLE FINANCIAL DECISION BUT YOU WEREN'T EVEN EXPECTING TO BE ALIVE #THE CREDIT CARD DEBT WAS NECESSARY TO KEEP YOU ALIVE AND IT DID AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS WAY LESS IMPORTANT THAN THAT #why the FUCK are you feeling SO ASHAMED for making the best decision you knew how to make at the time???#just because you know NOW that you could have tried some other options doesn't mean you did THEN #you may have known enough to feel shame and guilt yes but you would never in a million years have gotten the help you needed fast enough #by attempting to go another route #you didn't trust anyone besides a very few handfuls of people and even them it wasn't fully #and the stress of running it through parental insurance was so terrifying to you bc you didn't know what that would do #and you never had cosigners for anything your whole adult life. it's OKAY #you fucking DID YOUR BEST #YOU HAVE LEARNED. YOU HAVE MADE CHANGES. YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE BETTER #YOU WILL CONTINUE TO LEARN AND IMPROVE OVER TIME #it is not the end of the world. even the utilities sending you to debt collections etc etc #YOU ARE FIGURING IT OUT ONE PIECE AT A TIME #MORE PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED AND AFRAID OF THEIR OWN FINANCES THAN YOU THINK #if the people who fought and argued with and shamed you for considering student loans much less taking them out #had wanted you to actually be financially safer and healthier #they could have just fucking helped out or cosigned your loans or actively helped you find other solutions #instead of spending months and months telling you it was the worst decision ever and would ruin you financially for decades and such #you made the best decisions you could with the level of terror and knowledge that you had. it was enough to keep you alive.#isn't that enough?#isn't it a victory to survive?? isn't that enough??????#god i'm cringing at sharing this but if it's been this hard for me surely at LEAST one of you has also made financial mistakes or regrets #and seeing me be honest that I fucked it all up too and it's a mess and I'm just climbing back through it as best as I can as I go #will hopefully make at least one of you feel a tiny bit less alone

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jtownraindancer · 1 month

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y'all i just found a doctor who audiodrama with david tennant AND burn gorman AND paul mcgann and now i'm anxiously waiting for work to be over so i can freak out in peace

#y'all.#y'all i'm so psyched i literally saved it to my phone to play as soon as i'm past security and out of the main gate #idk how tf i didn't know this existed sooner but here we are i guess #doctor who #echoes of extinction #mr. gorman your influence...#this day needs to go faster #man i need a tag for burn now fuck #the burn collection #david tennant #burn gorman #paul mcgann

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anormalkidingotham · 3 months

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i was bitten by killer croc on my way to school again today and my history teacher was super pissed off because i was a few minutes late because i had to patch up the bite so i wouldn't bleed out

#he also complained that i didn't write as fast as usual #because a chunk of my arm is missing #and now i have to go to the doctor again #and i have detention for being late #i just hope it didn't get infected #at least there are a bunch of rich people who basically pay for hospital visits #if you were attacked by one of batman's enemies #which is nice i guess #would still be better if we didn't need that tho #killer croc #just gotham city things #only in gotham #unreality

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ovenproofowl · 6 months

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So ten's face coming back had nothing to do about closure or accepting regeneration as a natural cycle, letting go and moving forward like every face that had come before or after ..

instead he's just sticking around.. indefinitely..

cool.

i'm gonna lie down.

#doctor who #dw spoilers #the giggle #i.. wasn't a fan of that ngl.#i had a fear rtd was going to pull something like this didn't want to believe it buuut #as much as i like david tennant like.. can we just let go and move on? please?#and why did they insinuate ten's doctor is just a vessel of trauma so bigenerating what exactly? means ncuti's doctor doesn't carry it too?#rtd removed a major aspect of the doctor if that was the case #i'm gonna need to rewatch it to try and figure it out but honestly i feel a bit let down by that #don't get me wrong i'm super excited for the fourteenth doctor (ncuti. i will always mean ncuti as fourteen.)#but from first impressions.. this wasn't.. a good episode

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genderfluidgothwitch · 6 months

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For those who are unsure of whether or not they really have the "sensitivity to cold" symptom of fibromyalgia, because you think that it's just you not being able to handle colder temperatures like other people, that's one way of putting it. The other way is, when it's winter and the temperatures start dropping, do you feel your pain more intensely? Do you feel like you have more problems with your joints? Is your partner always commenting how cold your fingers and toes are, but it somehow gets more frequent in winter? Those are other ways to consider being sensitive to the cold.

#just a little food for thought #I'm thinking bc I'm high af #I had to take an entire 50 mg gummy tonight because I had some serious fucking pain #I didn't realize it was going to be a consistent pattern of winter making me feel like shit #but here we are in year two of No Longer Ignoring My Symptoms #and I'm still questioning whether or not it's actually fibromyalgia #like I 100% definitively know what it is #I just still don't have the doctors sign off bc I hate phone calls and I'm getting new insurance next month #so I figure might as well wait to see if the new insurance covers any differently #things to look forward to with the new job #anyways I'm forever grateful I didn't have to jump through every stupid ass hoop my husband did when he went full time with my company #it's explicitly designed against people who aren't neurotypical and it's honestly the most bullshit program ever #no they don't give full time by merit in my company #I really only got the job because my file boss wanted me explicitly for her job when she retires #and I will be eternally grateful that she saw something in me that no other manager saw #anyways ignore all these tags anyone who reads this that found this in the fibromyalgia tag instead of my blog #fibromyalgia #>.>#kudos to those who read this far #your journey shall reward you with a small token of my gratitude #🐦‍⬛ a friend for you

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majoris · 2 years

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time can be rewritten

#doctor who #dwedit #doctor who edit #doctorwhoedit #tvedit #doctor x river #dwedits #dailydw #river song #drwho #dw #~#it took me more than two weeks to finish this 👀 why woRK #I wanted to post this on 31st since anniversary but the stars didn't align #still not too happy with this but i'll never be at this point so here we go #~rst

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expelliarmus · 1 year

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#mine #doctor who #dwedit #david tennant #camille coduri #noel clarke #merry crisis!!!#baby ten in nine's clothes #still sad we didn't get to see old man ten in thirteen's outfit #SIGH #oh well it's almost 2023 guys can you believe it #11 more months until dw is back!!!!!!!!! scream #update on my vivillon quest: i only need ocean now!!! 2 more ocean pins and i'm DONE #tomorrow i get to go pick up these christmas cream puffs i ordered and i am so excited #and i also get to dog sit for my cousin and i'm very excited for that as well

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aletterinthenameofsanity · 3 months

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lockwood/george/lucy is just ten/jack/martha in another skin. try to convince me otherwise

#jack and martha are both george and lucy coded #ten is lockwood hands-down #this is a weird crosssection of fandoms & I'm not sure this will go anywhere but i'm rewatching lockwood&co & it hit me why i love the cot3 #cot3 #george karim #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #martha jones #tenth doctor #jack harkness #captain jack harkness #ot3 #ten x martha x jack #doctor who #the guy who is competent and in love with the emo main boy who feels abandoned #the new extremely competent main girl who keeps being underestimated/not believed #emo main boy with two much trauma and a death wish who is in love with the other two but won't admit it #yet somehow lockwood is more emotionally aware than ten #which i didn't think you could possibly find someone lockwood was more well-adjusted then but here we go #i'm so tempted to write fic for the cot3 you have no idea

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disdaidal · 4 months

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I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.

Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3

#personal #i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week #i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here #but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting #i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday #where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get #after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks #but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that #what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed #so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try #because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times #which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even #so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call #from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today #and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out #'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out #because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own #i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still #but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously #so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me #i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but #at least i'd know #anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing #sorry

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capybaraonabicycle · 9 days

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Doctor: Huh, is that who I am now?

Donna: It was never that far from the surface, mate.

Doctor: frowns Yes, it was! You know I used to be a woman. And that made people... assume all sorts of stuff. And - and pretending to be Graham's wife for five minutes was bad enough but - Byron? That was torture. Does the man ever stop talking?

Donna: Takes one to know one

Doctor: Oi! I just mean, there were all these men people assumed I would be into and I - and I just - I just wanted -

Donna: I know, darling.

Doctor: softly I just wanted Yaz.

Donna: I know. - There was one man, though, remember?

Doctor: No, there wasn't! I don't fancy the Master!

Donna: ...

Doctor: Okay, fine. But the Master isn't a man. He's like me! Flexible - uh - timelord gender and stuff.

Donna: Sure.

Doctor: So, anyway, I have always been primarily into wom-

Donna: What about Jack Harkness?

Doctor: - Jack doesn't count, everyone fancies Jack.

Donna: ...fair enough.

#Donna: can we also talk about how you were literally married to a man in Gloucester?#Doctor: How is THAT something that stuck to your brain?#Donna: I met you there. Shaun and I did the walking tour.#Doctor: Huh. - Was I any good?#Wild blue yonder #Donna Noble #Sorry I am just still hung up on the 'is that who I am now' comment #Because I feel like what they actually meant to say was the Doctor going I AM QUEER?!?!#as if they didn't just spend three entire series making heart eyes at Yaz #So it makes more sense to interpret it as 'Hang on I like men too?' but honestly even that is such a stretch?#Yeah sure 13 is very much not into men #(except for the Master)#(maybe Astos)#(possibly Swarm)#(obviously Jack)#But any other incarnation has been very openly into men?#Like 12 kept name dropping guys he fancied/was fancied by? Like that algae king and stuff. Also the Master #(Let's not talk about 11)#10 had a very intense thing with Harold Saxon AND Jack #Plus the number of guys he flirted with - among them Shakespeare #And I don't even have to talk about 9 whose first kiss on screen was with a man #To be fair it is mostly off-screen/casual and the Master and Jack #So like if we interpret it as above we can make it work at least #(But. Yes. Also: Lee!! Literally married a man. Even if that was only for staying undercover there were definitely some deep feelings there #and I am quite sure had they been purely platonic they would not have posed as married. But as siblings or best friends or something)#If we are being completely real the sentence is probably about the Doctor discovering they can find people hot now #But that actually wasn't there before I think?#So then Donna's comment makes little sense #Or no hang on - 12 found the dinosaur hot and all of them the TARDIS obviously #So maybe that's what it's all about actually

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