Hiii, what hanfu is suitable for high-tea event? The theme was black, white and gold. What words i need to type in taobao. please help me☹️
Hi, thanks for the question, and sorry for taking ages to reply!
There’s no concept of a “high-tea event” in Chinese culture, but from looking at photos of such events, I think a two-piece hanfu outfit with a flouncy skirt would be most suitable. Ming-style hanfu probably work best here. You can search on Taobao using the keywords 汉服/hanfu combined with the theme colors: 黑/hei (black), 白/bai (white), 金/jin (gold).
Here are a few hanfu from Taobao that I think would suit the event in question:
1. These two Ming-style outfits comprised of high-collar puff-sleeve shan & modified mamianqun, from 拟梦/Ni Meng:
2. More examples of the classy Ming-style high-collar shan & mamianqun combo, from 承前国风/Chengqian Guofeng:
3. Generally speaking, mamianqun are great for gold (and silver) details. You can’t go wrong by pairing a top with a gold-embellished mamianqun, like this one from 若兰兮/Ruo Lan Xi:
4. For a non-Ming style, there’s this elegant Song-style outfit with black & white floral motifs from 织造司/Zhi Zao Si. You can pair it with gold accessories (hairpin, brooch, earrings, etc.):
5. For a more “hybrid” look, this super cute Ming-style hanyuansu outfit from 瞳莞/Tong Guan has elements of ruffles, lace, and ribbons. Again, you can accessorize with gold:
If anyone has more recs, please feel free to share!
WARNING(S) ➾ basically no i think but a lottt of angst
WORD COUNT : 7k
SUMMARY | He is the crown prince of this kingdom and the most powerful knight. He once saved you when you were almost being killed by a bunch of wolf. What makes you dare to taste the forbidden fruit? You don't know if you should thought of it as a gift from the God or a punishment to you for got enamoured to a person who you shouldn't be enamour for your entire life. The moment you crossed the line, you made yourself covered in wounds even more and worse, that you are not capable enough to stand it.
PLAYLIST(S) : 郁可唯,王铮亮 - 星月, 叶炫清 - 归去来兮, HANA 菊梓乔 - 飞蛾扑火, 谭嘉仪Kayee - Can you hear, 吴若希 - 暗中爱我
A/N : it’s my first time wrtiting a bad ending(im sorry but im not 😛), i hope you like it and pls STAY SAFE!💚
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You are not meant to be together. Who gave you the courage to taste the “forbidden fruit?”
What makes you dare to taste the “forbidden fruit!”
Prince Yoonoh are known as the most handsome man in the entire Jeong Empire, but it’s not verified, no one has ever seen him before, it’s just rumours among this small little town.
You were born and being raised in this small town named “Cloud” in Jeong Empire. Your father, he is a fisher. He is out on a fishing boat all year round and you only had a few chances to get to see him. You have three brothers which are all older than you, Kun, Xiaojun and Renjun. They joined your father out to fish once they turned 18.
“Take care of our daughter, I'll be back very soon.” Your father said and he gives your mother a kiss then a hug for you before he left the house. It’s not a big deal for going out to fishing but it always has a risk, risk for not coming back anymore. Once they are out, then it’s three months and another three months and three months until when it’s new year, they’ll be back again.
“Remember to close the windows before you sleep and cover yourself when you sleep, don’t caught a cold.” Your biggest brother, Kun said and he rubs the both side of your arm. You were the youngest and the only daughter in this family, and of course you are the apple of everyone’s eye. You reluctant to be apart with them. Seeing their figure gradually disappear from your vision.
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“I will be out to collect some herbs. I will be back in 3 days.” you said then start packing things you needed to bring along with.
Your grandfather was a physician. He passed away 3 years ago, whenever he is examining a patience or out to collect herbs you were always staying along with him. So you learned some from him for example some simple way of how to treat a wound, treat mild colds and treat a swallow legs.
After he passed away, you decided to sell some herbs and treat some minor injuries to earn some money, but most importantly you missed doing it everyday with your grandpa. It’s already had been a habit to you.
“Make sure to take care of yourself. Once the night turn dark, find an inn to rest!” You mother make sure to repeat and repeat as you are really very stubborn when it comes to collect herbs, as if the herbs will gone if you did not make it to pick it by today. “I knew it mother, bye!” You said then begin the herbs collecting journey of yours.
Usually, you will be going to the nearest forest from your town but just a few days ago, you overheard the forest two town away from Cloud have herbs that is very rare and valuable. So, you decided to give it a try to see whether you are lucky enough to found it, even if you come back empty-handed.
You are willing to try.
So there you are standing in front of the forest entrance. ‘Should I really try?’ ‘What if something unexpected comes out?’ ‘But they’re valuable herbs’ ‘They will cost a high price’ All kind of thought running inside your mind.
‘Okay! Let’s do it! No regrets!’ You cheered yourself up then start heading in the forest.
This forest is unexpected a lot much bigger than the usual one you goes to. You just hope you wouldn’t get lost and trapped in the forest.
It’s almost 1 hour since you’ve entered the forest and your hard work finally paid off. You spotted a tree looking like the rare herbs tree you are looking for and is about 10 feet away. Right a moment before you were planning to go home but you were instantly overjoyed!
You walk up to that tree and crouch down to check if it’s the herb you are looking for and it is. Suddenly you hear the low roar of animal, it’s wolf. You stands up rapidly and look around, then only you realize the sun is almost setting. You have to leave as soon as possible before it turns dark.
But the low roar is getting closer and closer by time. You're too scared, so you just pick a little and quickly leaving.
The wolf seems to be attracted by your movement. Suddenly, a dark shadow shuttles between the trees. Just right in front of you! The wolf is running towards you from the trees in front of you.
Your legs are like being under a spell, you can't move. Watching the wolf getting closer to you, your legs wobble and you fell to the ground. The wolf is just inches away from you! You blocked your both hands in front of you and shut your eyes tight. ‘I don’t want to die yet, someone please help me!’ You thought, hope for a miracle to happens but you know you are gonna die, no matter how. No one could save you where the wolf is just in front of you.
You are waiting for death or the pain of being bitten by a wolf but it never comes. Perhaps the wolf changed his mind? You slowly open your eyes. A blade went straight into the wolf neck. You turned your head, a man is stabbing his blade into the wolf! You fainted right away.
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You wake up and see no one beside you. You find yourself were wearing a cloak that doesn't belong to you, it must be the man who saved you?
“You awake?” A man appears from behind. “Are feeling good? Dizzy?” He asked. “Yeah. I’m feeling good. Did you saved me?” You answered his question and asked him. “Yes. I saved you.” The man said. “Thank you. I— I really don’t know how can I do to thank you. But really thank you so much for saving me!” You said sincerely.
“Maybe you can give me yourself.” The man teased. You blushed. Feeling so shy from his words. “I’m joking. Here. Eat some before we left.” The man said and gives you some bread. “T— Thank.” You said then take the bread from him. You start munching the bread as you only realize how starved you are.
“Eat it slow, we are not in rush.” The man laughed and said. You glared at him the continue munching on the bread. It’s just a bread but maybe it’s because you are being saved from death the bread taste more delicious than it usual is and you stared sobbing just thinking of you almost never get to see your family again.
“Why are you crying?” The man turned around when he heard your sobs and asked. “I— I missed my family. I— I almost got myself never gonna see them.” You then started cry loudly. “What a silly girl.” He chuckle softly. “I’ve saved you. You’ll still be able to see them.” He said then softly pats your head. You nod then readjust your breathing until you stopped sobbing.
“Alright. We should go now before the sun is setting.” The man said then untying the lead rope he tied around the tree to hold his horse. He gave a leap and landed himself on the saddle of the horse. “Come up. We are heading to the capital.” He said then offering out a hand for you.
But you still standing like a statue, clinging the bread tight in your hands. “M— Mother says riding a horseback is very unladylike for a lady.” You spoke shyly. He then get down the horse. “It’s okay. No one’s here. Only me and you.” The man said then reaching out his hand again.
You hesitated but still, you used his hand as an aid to get on the horseback.
“Hold tight.” He skip the rope that was tied around the horse neck, the horse sprinted. Scared you to hug his waist tight, preventing yourself from falling. ‘Gallop… Gallop…’ when the horse slower down and you wanted to let your hands around his waist but when he felt your hands loosen it a bit. He pulled the lead rope harder around the horse's neck to make the horse run faster.
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It’s been days since the man saved you. That day, he left without you getting to know his name. Every few days you uses the excuse of collecting herbs to go back to that forest, hoping you could meet him again.
This person keeps lingering in your mind. When you are examining a patient, when you cook, when you bath or even you are sleeping, he appears in your dream.
Today, you went to the forest once again. After several times coming home empty-handed, you thought it’s gonna be another “empty-handed day”.
So, you, who still never meet him after walked the whole forest. You lowered your head and kicked the small stones on the ground, walking out of the forest.
Noises coming out from a distance, sound like someone is chasing after someone. Out of curious, you stopped down and try to find out what’s happening. You see a figure you miss day and night.
A bunch of people were chasing behind of him. His pace is getting slower and slower. He is holding his right arm. Is he hurt? You have to think of a way to help him. They are getting closer time by time.
You run to approach him faster. The closer you run towards him the clearer you see him. It’s him, and he is all blood…
5 feet and you will reach him. He can't take it anymore, he collapsed on the floor. When you finally get to him, he is covered in wounds.
“Hey! Can you hear me?” You sit on the ground and move his head to let him lean on your lap as a support. He is muttering something blurry that you couldn’t hear him well so you lean forward to hear him clearly.
“There… the shabby house over there…” He weakly pointing towards a direction. From what’s he is pointing at, there is a shabby house. You have no idea why he pointed there or why did he know there is a shabby house at such a distance away, but you have no time to waste.
“Can you walk? I can’t carry such a tall man as you and you are heavy.” You said and trying to carry him up but you just couldn’t. Then you heard his soft chuckles. You do as he said and tried your best to carry him up then place his left hand on your shoulder and your right hand is around his waist to carry his weight.
You carry him, who was seriously injured slowly to the shabby house he said. When the moment you open the door, it’s not as empty as you thought. There is a bed right in the middle inside the shabby house. Beside the bed was a small the cooking are and on the left hand side of the cooking area have a wooden door, but you are not sure was it a room or what. Then a very simple square wooden table in front of the bed with two chair each both side one.
You put him down on the bed and went out to find water to clean his wounds before you apply herbs on it. “You have to treat the wound first or your wound will get infected, or else you’ll left scars on it.” You told him then quickly heading out of the room but he hold you wrist. You turned back to him, worrying if he’s feeling uncomfortable.
“There is a toilet there.” He said then points towards the wooden door where you are curious about at first. ‘Ah, so it was a toilet’ you speak to yourself in your head. You went inside and there is a basin under the washstand. You took it and scoop some water into it then went back to him again.
You squat down beside the bed and starting to wash his the wounds on his right arm with a wet cloth. After cleaning the surface, you then apply some herbs which could help to stop bleeding and then you tear a little bit of the hem of your shirt to use to wrap his wounds. “Remember not to get water-“ You finished on treating his wounds then you said, but when you look up he is already asleep. You did not wake him because you thought he must be suffering a lot from the pain. Thinking back, he did not whine a single bit because of his wounds. What a strong man he must be to suppressing all his pain. You thought you would never be able to do it.
Both your hands crossed and resting your chin againts the bed and watching at his sleeping figure. Looking at his face clearly, this man who saved you, he is good-looking, even sleeping. You’ve started to grown curiosity of him. What kind of a family is he coming from? Did he lives somewhere nearby this forest? Why did he came to this forest? Why is he being chased and is hurt? Did he offend them? And right, you still haven’t get to know his name. Thousands of question is running in your head. Slowly, you sinked into your sleep unconsciously.
You open your eyes and what you see is the ceiling. Did you fall asleep? On the bed? Why did you woke up laying on a bed? You don’t remember you slept on a bed. You turned your head to the side. The man that was supposed to be there is not there. He left? Left with his arm are still bleeding? You have to look for him, before the bunch of people found him. You get off the bed and running out the shabby house. You opened the door and the man is sitting right in front the door. The night getting dark. “You awake?” He smiling looking at you and said. He is using woods to start a fire.
“You shouldn’t be moving around, you wounds will broke open. I’ll do it, go get some rest.” You said and chasing him off. “Man should be the one to start a fire, not a women.” He chuckles softly. “No, you are the pat-“ You are trying to argue with him but he cuts you off. “I’m not doing everything, I’m just starting the fire and you will be the one who cook. So it’s fair.” You become speechless. “Cook? Me?” You asked and pointing at yourself. He nodded and then pointed back at him. “I— I’m not good at cooking…” You stuttered.
“I don’t mind the taste, as long as it can filled my hunger.” You are again speechless by his words. “O— Okay…”
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“Do you have anything you wanted to say?” He raised his brow and asked. You shook your head hardly. “Then why are you keep staring at me? Your face told me you’ve something to say.” He said then put his chopsticks down on the table. “Can I really ask?” You asked and averting his eyes. “Go ahead.” He answered coolly.
“W— Why are those people chasing after you?” You asked nervously. “No. I shouldn’t ask this way.” You whisper softly just enough for yourself to hear it. “Why did you know there is a shabby house inside of this big forest?” You asked. From Jaehyun's point of view, you look like a cat filled with curiosity.
“I know here by chance when I was still very young.” He said but he doesn’t look happy. “By chance? In a forest when you were young? How come?” You asked and he stared at you with an unreadable expression. “My parents, they are always arguing. I don’t like it. One day I just ran out and came here randomly.” He said. “I found this place very calm. Hearing the birds singing on the tree with a book in my hands, the feelings is very chilling.” He adds.
You wanted to know what had happened to him in his childhood, but you have no rights to know a stranger’s story. The tension is getting tense so you try to break it. “Let me tell you a story of mine?” You support your chin on your hand and look at him then he nodded.
“My father always went out for fish when I was young, on my path of growing I seldom get to see him. I felt lonely because I only have brothers and my mother have to work as well They like to play around the forest and they won’t bring me along because I’m a girl, they thought I won’t know how to climb tree and many stuff that girl usually won’t do. So, one day after they left the house, I secretly follow behind them.”
“They went to the nearest forest from our house, but when I finally reach the entrance of the forest, they disappeared. I started to feel panic. They are no where to be seen. The forest is as big as a bottomless pit for a four year old little girl, and I know nothing about this forest, it’s my first time here. I cry and scream, calling out their names while messing around the bottomless pit forest. Luckily, they manage to find me before I got eaten by some wild animals.” You chuckle softly.
“And so, I was banned to go to the forest since then. Until when I started follow my grandpa to collect herbs around the forest, only I started to get nearer to the forest, in about 10 years I think. And I like the forest a lot! It reminds me of my grandpa. I miss him a lot.” Your face unconsciously showed a trace of you missing your grandpa.
“You doesn’t looks like a playful girl who would make your families worry about you.” He says and chuckles softly.
BANG!
Suddenly a huge lightning strikes! “Ah!” You covered both your ears quick then quickly hide under the table. You are hugging your knees and shivering while hands still covering your ears tight.
He notice what happened to you after the lightning strikes. “It’s okay, it’s just a thunderstorm.” He get under the table as well and comforting you. He slowly embrace you in his arm, smoothing your back softly, cooling you down. “It’s just thunderstorm.” He keeps repeating.
“No! It’s not just a thunderstorm! It will became a heavy rain after that!” You slightly screaming. “We— We need to leave the forest before it’s starting rain! We need to leave! We need to leave!” You said in panic. “It’s going to rain, we will leave the next morning.” He said while his hands never stop smoothing your back. “No! We need to leave! The rain will cover this shabby house! We will be stuck if we don’t leave now! No! We can’t!” You started crying from the thought of rain covering this house that is just made by wooden. The rain will devour you both of you don’t leave now.
“Why? Why will the rain stuck us in this house?” He sense something abnormalities on you. You resist the rain a lot compared to a normal people. Yes, maybe some people doesn’t likes rain, but. Your actions is too weird, it’s like you have been stuck in somewhere because of rain and it made you staying in fear for the rest of your life. So he deliberately trigger you and make you tell him the real reason why you are scared.
“The— The rain is scary.” You sobbing and clingy against his chest. “Why? Tell me.” He persuading you to tell him. “My— My grandpa dead be— because we were stuck in a hou— house when we come out to co— collect herbs…” You are slightly calmed, but still sobbing. “That’s why you are scared of rain?” He speaks very very softly and caresses your hair. His voice is so charming. His hug is warm, his voice is soft, and he is even trying comfort you.
“Yes…” You said, grabbing his shirt tight.
“Let me tell you a story. You know whenever before the rains pour, there will be thunderstorms right? It’s meaning the gods who rule the earth is fighting against the demon. You know why they fight?” He asked then looking at you. You shook your head because you did not know it. “Because, the gods wants to create a baby for the earth, but the devil oppose it. So they fight, their fight causes thunderstorm.” He stopped then look at me again but then he continued.
“So when the gods win, a baby is born. Raining is a way to express their victory of giving a new life. They are good thing, so don’t be scare if raining anymore. It’s a sign of a new born.” He finished his story and you stopped crying because you are too into listening to his story like a bed time story.
“Is that real?” You asked. The “story” he told was too incredible, you don’t really believe it. “Of course it is.” He answered. You thought he must be thinking you are some kind of little kid who would trust on this kind of “fairytale” but unfortunately you are an adult and you know it’s not real. But still, he warms your heart. Maybe this is what people said “white lie.”
“Your wound!” You never noticed his wound which you wrapped it with your clothes is covered in blood now. “Am I the one who broke your wound? I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” You apologies then go get some water to clean his wound. “You sit on the bed first, I’ll go get some water.” You said then head towards the toilet.
You come back with holding a basin full of water. You set it now in front of the bed then kneel down to start cleaning his wound again. You unwrapped the teared shirt which on his wound then cleaning it softly and carefully with a piece of wet handkerchief. “You must be careful with your every single moves now. It recovers and you break it again.” You sighed and tell him.
“Can I know why did you cry so hard for your grandp- ehem the reason that made you afraid of rain.” He take back what he actually wanted to say ‘your grandpa’ but he thought if he says the word ‘grandpa’ might remind you of your grandpa, and he will have to tell another “story” to calm you down.
“He is my favourite among this family. I didn’t mean I don’t like the others, but he is the one who I spent the most time with. Father and mother needs to work, my father work as a fisher so he’s not home often and brothers as I said before they are always gone without me. So I follow my grandpa around, from just following him to the forest to collect herbs until I learn how to heal a patient.”
“One day, we went to the forest as usual. We already heard thunderstorm before we are out of the house but grandpa insisted he wants to go, he said we have umbrella, it’s not big deal just raining. But no, we all lost him in this stupid rain. The rain starts pouring when we just entered the forest. Grandpa holds my hands even tighter than every time he did.” The corners your the mouth rise slightly by thinking of your grandpa holdings your little hand.
“But the rain is getting heavier second by second. Until we can’t really see the road in front of us, very blurry. Because we can’t see clearly, grandpa continued going on with his intuition and the best he know of the forest which we have came over the years. He is too confident. I told him we should go home but he don’t listen to me. We lost our footing, fall off the cliff but I wasn’t falling off the cliff like grandpa did because the let go of my hand before we fall together.” There are tears are escaping from your eyes.
“If it’s not because of me, he won’t fall. Because he wants to save me, that’s why he did not manage to save himself!” You bursted into tears.
“Listen to me. It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault. Stop blaming yourself. Just a coincidence.” Again he’s comforting you. He smooth your back like how he did just now and it’s feeling very warm, you like the feels. He is someone like your grandpa, brings you warm. He lets you rest your head on his lap and smoothing your back, keeps repeat words which comfort you a lot. It’s been a long time since you relying on someone, you missed the feeling. The last one was your grandpa and you missed him a lot.
Your eyelids felt heavy, you must be tiring from all our crying just now. “Rest if you are tired, leave tomorrow morning. It must be tiring to cry a lot.” He said softly and caresses your head which are still resting on his lap. He carry you to the bed and you sinked into your sleep in just a seconds.
You woke up the next morning. He’s already awake and washing up himself. “Are you leaving too?” You asked.
“No, I will be leaving in days, they must be still looking after me.” He smile and answered. “There are foods here, I probably won’t die for days.” He adds, chuckling. “But your wound…” You are worried about him. “Small matter, I can manage it mysel- ow!” He twisted because he accidentally moved his arm, and his wound are slightly opened.
“I will stay here until your wound are at least considered yes “moveable!” “ You said loudly and powerful, unlike the little girl who cried last night like a pig. “It’s dangerous for you to stay here, go back.” He said. “Then, then…” You are thinking a way to he him. “I’ll leave but I’ll come here everyday to heal you until you are fully recovered.” You say confidently and certainty. “I-“ He open his mouth to speak but, “No more quibbling!” You said domineering. “Alright, I guess I have no to resist.” He smiled.
“I’m— I’m just curious, are you somehow a— a sinser or a thief?” You stuttered. You are sickly wanted to know why are then chasing after him, but he chuckle out loud. “Haha, I’ll tell you if I am or not the next time we meet again.” He teased. “Now, you should go.” He shushed you out the house.
“Hey hey! I haven’t get to know your name tho.” You finally asked what you’ve been wanting ask since the moment you saw him.
“Jaehyun.” He answered. “What I about you? I shouldn't not to know my physician's name right?” He teased again.
“(Y/N). I’m (Y/N).”
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You have been coming continuously for days to fulfil your duty — healing his wound — and you both talked a lot these days. But mostly the topic is surrounding about you, he don’t really talk about him selves a lot.
Today as usual you came here early in the morning. You made him some cakes, you know he doesn’t like sweet in the last few days you've been together. So, you reduced the amount of sugar, hoping he will like it.
You knock on the door before you entered the house. When you open the door, the door makes a creak sound. It’s a total dark inside, he’s not here. Did he went out?
You lighten up the candle then sit at the corner of the bed waiting for him. You saw a piece of paper on the table when you are looking around. You get up from the bed then went to the table.
I have some urgent stuff to deal with, will be right back very soon. Wait for me
- Jaehyun
Was what he wrote on the piece of paper.
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“I said I won’t marry Elisiah!” Jaehyun shouted loudly in the hall.
“You are not able to decide your marriage ever since you were born as a royalty!” The king shouted from his throne.
“I am not your puppet! I have rights to decide my own life!” Jaehyun refute.
“If you resist to marry Princess Elisiah of Arvenus, then leave this royal family, live as a civilian, get rid off the name Prince Yoonoh!” The king said angrily, hand clenched into a fist.
“I don’t need this name!” Jaehyun said aggressively then heading out the hall.
“Once you stopped out this door, I won't show a single mercy to her.” The king smirked. “You know who am I talking about, Jay.” Jaehyun can hear the king’s tone with a hint of he has already won, even it’s not even stared yet.
“What did you do to her!” Jaehyun run towards the king. “I did nothing. But if you didn’t want to see her head hanging high up at the middle of the capital, listen to me. Be my good boy.” The king chuckle sarcastically. “You old treacherous man!” Jaehyun hold his urge to hit him on his face hardly.
“Engagement will be on the day after tomorrow. Clear up your mind and get ready to marry the Princess of Arvenus.” The king said then returned to his chamber, leaving Jaehyun alone in the hall.
He is worried about you but he couldn’t go look for you. If the king knows the both of you will be in danger.
The king — the father of Jaehyun — is an extremely cruel man. Years ago, in order to sit on this throne, he did not hesitate to kill his own brother. Arvenus is a country which is very powerful but not as powerfully as Jeong Empire is but still if they combined. It will be a big disaster to the world. Not only that, they have various types in weapons, so it’s even a bigger advantage to King Jeong.
And this time, in order to gain more power he wants Jaehyun to marry the Princess of Arvenus. So the King of Arvenus will join and help him in war, and he will get the world as he had planned. Jaehyun have no choice now, he could just follow as the king’s plan if he wants to keep you safe.
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Half day passed since you are waiting for Jaehyun at the house, but he did not show up as what he said on the paper that he will be back soon. “Why isn’t him coming back…” You mumble to yourself. ‘Maybe there may be something happened that causes him to be late here.’ You thought. ‘Just wait for him a while, he will be here soon.” You smile and tell yourself.
So, you waited, another 1 hour passed, 2 hour, 3 hour… until you dozed off. You woke up and it’s already night time, but he’s still not here yet. ‘Did something bad happened?’ You started to get worried. No, you have to look for him. But where can you find him?
Now think of it, you don’t know where his house were at, except for this shabby house. How if he came but you went out to look for him? You should continue wait for him here until he came. Yes, just wait.
2 days have passed, he still did not show up. It’s very unusual the would be taking so 2 days to come back. You couldn’t just sit and wait for him to come back. He never answered you if he was a sinser, something must happened! What if he get caught! You pack your belongings you brought here with you then rush to the capital to see if something happened.
“Hey! (Y/N)!” your best friend agn your neighbour since you were born suddenly pop up from no where while you were running in the market to the notice board.
The notice board is at the end of this market. The notice board will be pinning any newest updated news and criminals wanted. “Hey, Anne.” You answered perfunctory and still keep running to the notice board.
Not here, not here also, not even here also. There’s no picture of him or his name wrote on it. Phew! Immediately you are relieved. But something caught your attention.
“Engagement of Prince Yoonoh with Princess Elisiah of Arvenus.” The prince is getting engage and the palace will be open for everyone to join the engagement today. Oh, there’s a sketch of Prince Yoonoh and the Princess the Prince is marrying.
THROB! THROB!
A tear escaped from your eyes. No! It’s not him. Just someone who looks like him. No! It won’t be! He is a sinser. He is not a prince. No… It’s not… Let— Let’s go home and and wait for him… Go home… Go home…
“(Y/N)!” Anne is panting, probably running all the way here to see why am I in such a rush. “What happened? Why did you cry?” She asked. She wipes the tears on your cheek. “What happened?” She asked again. “No— Nothing.” She said then wipe your tears with the back of your hand.
“Then it’s fine. Oh! Did you saw this? The prince is getting engaged! We can visit the palace! Let’s go together! Let’s go!” She said happily and jumping running around.
“I— I.” You stuttering. You don’t really want to go, what if he was really the prince, then he’s going to marry the Princess. Was it always been your wishful thinking?
“The days you disappeared, I heard a lot of story about the Prince. They said that the Prince and the Princess are engaged since childhood, but the Princess is yet an adult so that’s the reason why they get engaged only until now. Ha, I hope to see how the Prince look like! He must be handsome!” Anne holding her face with both hands and smiling.
“Let’s go, let’s go! It’s starting soon!” Anne excitedly said,never wait for your answer and she’s already dragging you to the palace at the capital city. It’s not very far from here but took at least 10 minutes.
“(Y/N), it’s should be happy that our prince is getting marry soon~ You shouldn’t be looking so upset when you enter the palace.” Anne said, kinda like half singing half talking. You forced yourself to smile abit.
On the way to the palace Anne is super excited, she always wanted to visit the big palace and now she got her chance to visit but you aren’t very happy with the reason why you would be able to visit.
“This way please.” The servant at the entrance of the palace is guiding the visitors to the main hall. “You can have some food here, the ceremony is starting soon.” The servant smiled then bow before she leave. “Wow! It’s huge!” Anne is amazed by how big the palace is. “There is some portraits of the royalty!” Anne said, slapping on your arm then pulls you along with him to see those portraits.
“This must be the crown prince, it looks exactly same as the one on the notice board.” Anne said. He does looks like, but you don't want to believe it! “The King and crown prince is here!” The butler announced and the door is opened.
“Your Majesty!” Everyone kneels down.
“You may all get up.” The king said. This is the moment you are most afraid of, you will be able to know the answer if you look up. You are afraid, you doesn’t want to face the reality. You struggled with your inner heart and finally, you get up.
It was Jaehyun.
He was the prince Yoonoh. Your soul seems to have left you for a moment.
“I am thankful for all of you coming to attend my beloved son’s engagement ceremony.“ The king sat on his throne and Jaehyun sitting on the right side. “I have been waiting for this moment, so am Yoonoh. He have been waiting for the Princess of Arvenus to come of age. The day after the princess’s birthday is over, he is so eager to ask me let him marry her.” The king laughing happily.
So until the end, you were fooled by him? He already has someone he likes and even always wanted to marry her, so why is he being so good to you? Why did he comfort you when you are crying for just a thunderstorm?
You are madly in love with him that you don’t even realized until now. Yes, you are absolutely madly in love with him that why didn’t want to let him go!
After the king given speech, everyone continues eating the food served. “I hope you like it.” The king is walking around and asking whether they like the food or not and you heard him asking the one beside of you. Of course, Jaehyun is with him.
Finally, Jaehyun notice you were here when you are staring at the king. When you saw Jaehyun look at you, you quickly turned away. You ran out the hall and Jaehyun chases after you. You already saw him, you know his existence here!
“(Y/N)!” He calling your name when you ran towards the back garden that’s no one here so he called you. “(Y/N)!” He caught you, he is holding your wrist. “(Y/N) it’s not like that, listen to me!” Jaehyun eager to explain. You tried to get rid of his hand but he is too strong.
“Jaeh- Your Majesty, please let go off me.” You are twisting your hand to get rid of him. “(Y/N)! Listen to me first.” He tugged you into his embrace. “Listen to me…” He hug you tight and said. “I don’t want to listen to you anymore! You liar!” You push his chest to get off him.
“It’s not like that, (Y/N)!” Jaehyun surround his arm even tighter around you. “I don’t listen!” You cried and struggling. “(Y/N) I am-“ he was halfway through speaking and suddenly someone walked in this direction. Jaehyun quickly let go of you because it was the king’s knights. They must be coming here to look for him.
“Your Majesty, the king is asking you to go back the hall. And he warned you, he won’t give a single mercy.” Jaehyun once again got warning from the king. “Alright.” Jaehyun have no choice but follow the knights back to the hall. At least you had hide behind some brush so they did not saw you, or else things will get more serious.
The day ended with you did not get an explanation from Jaehyun and didn’t get a chance to explain. Who knows it then became forever.
An unexplained accident. A Jaehyun in your mind a person who played with your feelings. You were not lovers and no one could explain this relationship. It became a mystery between you both.
ᥫᩣ
2002
The boy is passing by the park by chance when he’s on his way home from the convenient store and he saw a little girl sitting in the sand pool, dressed up in a green sundress.
“Give me back my doll.” You are crying and sitting in the sand pool in the park as a few boys that is one year older than you are bullying you by snatching away your doll from you.
You are 4 this year and your parents decided to send you to kindergarten. In fact, it’s a little bit too early to send a 4 years old to kindergarten, most parents send their children to kindergarten when they are 5 years old.
“Bleh Bleh Bleh.” The boy sticked his tongue out then running around with him holding your doll high in his hand. “Give it back to me.” You are chasing after him, trying to get back your doll, but he is a lot much faster. You blubbering and rubbing your eyes.
“(Y/N) is a crybaby, crybaby.” The boys laughing out loud at you and still running around the park.
The boys are 1 year older than you and they are your kindergarten mates but they always bully and laugh at you because you are a year younger than them. You accident tripped yourself and fall on the rough ground. Your knees bleed from the fall. They never stop and even laughing at you more and then they continue running around the park with your doll in their hand.
Right at this time, a boy seem to be same age as them come out from no where. “Are you okay?” The boy asked and then check on your knee. “They… they took my doll.” You cried, your tears and snot flow all over your face.
He his handkerchief out from his pocket and wipe your tears and snot off your face.
“Don’t worry. I’ll get it back for you and promise me not to cry anymore?” The boy said and patted your head. You immediately stopped crying. You see him talking with the boys who bullied you just now and just a while, he’s coming back with your doll in his hand.
“Here.” He hand you your doll.
“My doll.” You say excitedly and hugging your doll happily. “You have to treat the wound first or your wound will get infected and you’ll not be pretty anymore.” The boy intimidates you. You immediately felt a sense of déjà vu from his words, as if you had heard them somewhere else before. “I don’t want to be ugly.” You are frightened by his words and started crying again. He didn't know you would be frightened by his words. He was caught off guard. “So you have to treat it fast.” The boy quickly made up.
“Can you walk?” He adds. You shake your head, you actually can but you hope be carried by someone. He turns his back on you. “I’ll carry you then.” You nod and climb onto his back and he carry you back his home.
He set you down on the couch then he run towards upstairs. He came down with a box of first aid kid in his hands. He sit down next to you and place your leg on his lap. He disinfects your wound with acriflavine first. “May be a little pain.” He said. Then he clean your wound before placing a sterile bandage on it.
“Done.”
“Can I know your name? My name is (Y/N)!” You are beaming widely that he can see your white teeth.
“I’m Jaehyun.”
ᥫᩣ
(A feedback would be appreciated & you could buy me a coffee if you like my work 🥺 thank uu!)
amendments on the title of 长喑 cháng yīn // long darkness
song translation link here
Thanks @llonkrebboj
I've been most unabashedly been reading-writing-translating the title of the song wrong all this time, it is 长喑 and not 长暗 (note the radicals). So what does 喑 mean?
You would know this word if you've ever heard of the term 喑哑, meaning someone's voice which has gone hoarse and raspy, or seen the character from Li Bai's prose 拟恨赋 (nǐ hèn fù) an imitation of the prose of grievances by Jiang Yan:
(The grievance) is as Xiang Yu in the heat of the insurgence, his radiance comparable with the resplendence of the sun. Over time, however, his strength to uproot mountains comes to an end, and the zest to become unrivalled above all on the earth, too, eventually, dims to be betrayed. He hears the songs of his homeland, chu, converging onto him from all sides like haunting chants. He knows he is to be buried in the camp tightly besieged by the han army. In the tent, his besotted consort Yu starts a sword dance before him; he feels the former glory and splendour amid the broken weeping. His best horse of past battles could gallop no more; in the deadened sobs of the camp, where could he return to?
So this excerpt is not wholly relevant, but YJ quoted it and I liked it enough I might as well put it here. That said what exactly does 喑 mean?
meaning of 喑 yīn
YJ explained it as a loud ringing war cry here, definitely apt, yet to me even more of it is about the long period of thirteen years where XJY and the voices of many were stifled. 喑 yin means to silence, and even more so, to be silenced, the kind of silence that after a loud period of shouting your voice becomes hoarse and you can no longer speak, and the type of muteness in which there is nothing you can say, you are silenced by the circumstances of life.
tone of yīn
And even more fitting is the tone of the character 喑 yīn — if you have heard of the chinese tones, yīn is of the first tone and is pronounced in a level manner. In píngzѐ (a more formal way of categorising the tones) it would be 阴平 yīnpíng. That would be like an outstretched, never-fading silence: previously when translated to 暗 (àn) darkness, the character is like the radiance cut short and put to a halt in the fourth tone 去声 qùshēng. And now, with finally the correct character, 喑 (yīn) would be an overstretching silence of over thirteen years — the silence of a royal prince, reputation and honour denigrated and besmirched, aspirations torn to shreds like fleeting dreams of the lost childhood. It is the hoarseness after a long breakdown where your throat could utter no sound any longer, the silence after the loud battle cry and the raising voice of insurgence quickly curbed, the people that were victorious in defending their kingdom yet now nowhere to be found. A wailing whimper of thirteen long years, drained of the energy to wail, and stifled of hope.
the forbearance of chinese values
喑 also speaks of forbearance, a chinese confucianist concept 隐忍 yǐnrěn meaning forbearance and endurance. The hero endures silently without display and prevails to build a better world. (Cue unhealthy emotional damage and imposter perfectionist breakdowns, but genuinely that's the way chinese society has been built and celebrated in the past two millennia shrugs. It also ties in neatly with the word 敛 liǎn, to hold back and conceal; there's way too much in these two words to talk about to put in a post.) But back to the topic in hand, XJY's silence talks of his forbearance, the long decade he is willing to keep silent his thoughts until the opportunity comes for him to spread his wings and soar like the dragon in the sky as the song depicts in the verse "潜龙在渊敛锋芒 风雷动引龙翔" (submerged dragon hides his splendour and soars one day with the force of the winds and thunders and etc.).
This has gone on for way too long. I think I need a new post for this or no one would ever scroll to the bottom.
As for whether or not I am going to amend the title long darkness?
It's a pretty terrible title that makes little english sense, but it would be weird to change it now.
In a sense, silence ≅ darkness, the silence of being stifled is as though the never-ending unabating darkness in which Xiao Jingyan walked alone for twelve years. It's not like "long silence" or "stiflement (not a word)" or "endurance" would make a better or worse title than what it is now, is it.
Boya and Zhong Ziqi (the 知己 Zhiji story, written by Lie Yukou 列御寇) - SHL Episode 7
SHL makes a reference to the 知己 Zhiji/Soulmate story of Boya and Zhong Ziqi. (Aka the ultimate soulmate story). It's a story written by Lie Yukou 列御寇 in the Taoist philosophy book Liezi 列子 during the Waring States.
The story goes like this
伯牙善鼓琴,钟子期善听。伯牙鼓琴,志在高山。 钟子期曰:“善哉,峨峨兮若泰山!
Boya was good at playing the zither, and Zhong Ziqi was a good listener. As Boya played the qin, Zhong Ziqi thought of the lofty mountains. He exclaimed, “Great! Towering just like Mount Tai!”
”志在流水,钟子期曰:“善哉,洋洋兮若江河!”伯牙所念,钟子期必得之。
Boya thought of the running water; Zhong Ziqi exclaimed again, “Great! Vast like the River Jiang!” Whatever Boya thought of, Zhong Ziqi could understand it from the sound of the zither.
伯牙游于泰山之阴,卒逢暴雨,止于岩下:心悲,乃援琴而鼓之。初为霖雨之操,更造崩山之音。
Once, Boya was travelling on the north side of Mount Tai when suddenly, he was caught in a thunderstorm and was trapped under a rock. Heartbroken, he took up the zither and started to play. Initially, it was a piece that reflected the continuous rain. Then, Boya played another piece that expressed the collapse of the mountain.
Zhong Ziqi would always understand each meaning of each song. Boya put down his zither and sighed, “Great! Great! Do you understand? What you thought of in your heart when I played the zither was one and the same. Where could I go to find what my inner thoughts are?” When Zhong Ziqi died, Boya felt that he didn’t have a soulmate 知音 anymore, thus he broke his zither and never played it again.
T/N: There’s another article on Baidu explaining that a year had passed since their initial meeting and Boya leave from the Jin King and came back to the riverside where they had met. He waited for Zhong Ziqi, who didn’t showed up. Boya subsequently learned the Zong Ziqi had passed on a few months ago. Boya was so heartbroken that he broke his zither and never played again.
Again, this is another story of soulmates that do not live happily ever after. D:
This story has also given rise to the idiom 高山流水 Lofty Mountains and Running Water (appears in 0:08 and 0:15 of the video above). It refers to the difficulty of finding a soul mate, or the beauty of a music piece. It’s also the name of a famous guzheng song. (Which was when I first learned of the idiom personally). There're also 2 guqin songs, the first was titled 高山 Lofty Mountains and the second was named 流水 Running water. The guqin player 's performance of 流水 Running water was included in the Voyager Golden Records by NASA in 1977. This is a performance of the said piece. (idk if this was the performance recommended by NASA though lol)
Musing on a line in Chapter 4 of the Laozi Along with a Comparative Study to the Chaldean Oracles.
"Gentle and Overflowing, it always seems to be there” — William Scott Wilson.
"Tranquil! As though having a life of its own." — Dan G. Reid.
Commentary by Heshang Gong: 湛兮似若存。言當湛然安靜,故能長存不亡。
"This is to say that you should find tranquility and stillness at the depths of your nature. Then you will be able to endure and not die."
This whole chapter teaches on the humility of remaining ~empty.~ We make use of the Way by pouring out: emptying ourselves. The Dao is an Empty vessel, never making itself known or displaying it’s merits for creating and accomplishing all things. By doing so, the Dao is never is overfilled, and by remaining empty it creates and is responsible for everything. I think this teaching may be reflected in Xiu Dao practices, where a person statically removes themselves from all worldly concerns and attachments, to cultivate 道. From the videos and things I’ve read about Xiu Dao (Daoist Meditation), it is a process of emptying oneself. Being and remaining empty, keeps us unlimited in our capacities. But first one must asses, and abide in ones own nature 人性 —Zhuangzi 8.3.1, before such emptying can occur — or so I think.
On the topic of “empty.” We see this same sentiment reflected in the Chaldean Oracles fragment 1. Here it is as translated by Ruth Majercik:
"You must not perceive it intently, but keeping the pure eye of your soul turned away, you should extend an empty mind toward the Intelligible in order to comprehend it, since it exists outside of your mind."
(I’m drawing on commonalities, never universalities, which should be the standard for comparative religious studies.)
Here in Chaldean Oracles, we see we must too become an empty vessel and empty our mind for us to elevate our soul to the abodes of the gods — this is theurgy. The elevation of our soul to the gods, to Nous, and ultimately back to The One. It seems to preach a reversion of our mind in order for it to ascend to the Intelligible. A pretty neat commonality in the practice of Theurgy and cultivation techniques found in Daoism! Yet these two practices/spiritual techniques have different goals in mind. One does not “ascend” to the Dao, as one “ascends” to the gods, to Nous and finally The One, as we do in theurgical rituals. In Daoism, we have to embody the Dao and make ourselves receptacles by extreme emptying techniques to be able to receive the Dao’s incomprehensible nature. Emptying is not a big theme in Hermeticism and I can’t find anything related to “emptying” oneself to reach The Good that is The One (God). Only reference I find is in the Chaldean Oracles fragment I have quoted above, which is only kind of Hermetic, as it draws influences from many Mediterranean based mysticisms. Where it is similar is that it follows a platonic notion of “like becoming like.” But how we become like the Dao is different from how we become like the gods and The One. None the less, I find this commonality beautiful and I celebrate and participate in its differences.
You can also read about another commonality I make between Daoism’s “abiding and trusting one’s own nature 人性” and how the god Hebo was able to do such a thing. Hermeticism’s CH I: Poimandres dialogue on paragraph 19 we see how one who recognizes himself, attains the chosen Good, which is God (The One). Here it is. I analyze chapter 17 of the Zhuangzi in this link, and very briefly touch on how this is similar to the concept of “know thyself” in Hermeticism, but give no textual references to such claims in the Hermetica. Those textual references can be found all up and down the Corpus Hermeticum but a good place to start is the Poimandres Dialogue (CH I).
I must remind you all that I have no teacher for these kinds of things. Also, in no way am I claiming that Daoism and Hermeticism/Neoplatonism are universal in their goals or approaches and practices. So any insights and corrections are very welcome here🙏
Your step is like a snowflake flew with breeze, a moon covered with faint clouds.
洛神賦 (luò shén fù) by 曹植 (Cáo zhí) in 曹魏 (Wei dynasty), who is one of 曹操 (Cao cao)'s son. When it was written, 曹操 had died and 曹丕(Cáo pī; 曹操's second son) were enthroned. 曹植 was famous with his literary talent. Because of all the fiasco with usurpation of 漢(han), 曹植 was afraid he would die of his brothers hands.
曹操 is famous being suspicious about everything and 曹丕 is his son. The general story of this peom is about a beautiful lady, but it actually meant glorification of 曹丕. But there's another interpretation that 曹植 was missing 曹丕' wife, 文昭皇后(wén zhāo huáng hòu; 甄氏:zhēn shì). Because the brothers didn't get along much, as 曹操 hadn't decided who would be the next king until his death bed. Also 曹操 liked 曹植 over 曹丕, but 曹操 had known 曹丕 would do better with politics and wars.
蔽月(bì yuè; covered noon); it is used for describing beauty. And also the situation between 曹丕 and 曹植 was complicated that their relationship fell apart at the end he left the capital and secluded himself.
Is Wen kexing describing 流雲九宮步(liú yún jiǔ gōng bù) or Zhou zishu, the covered moon??
This is the first poem of 月下獨酌(yuè xià dú zhuó; drinking alone under the moon) by 李白(Lǐ bái). The other poems are also quoted here and there by different people.
花間一壺酒 獨酌無相親
A bottle of whine in the middle of flowers, I drink alone without any friends
舉杯邀明月 對影成三人
A toast towards the bright moon that the shadow makes us three.
月既不解飮 影徒隨我身
The moon cannot drink, the shadow only mimicking.
暫伴月將影 行樂須及春
Let's enjoy the spring with the moon and the shadow for a moment.
我歌月徘徊 我舞影零亂
When I sing the moon strolls, when I dance the shadow whirls.
醒時同交歡 醉後各分散
We get along when we are sober, then we sperate when we are drunk.
永結無情遊 相期邈雲漢
Let us not be tied by affection, but keep this friendship. Hoping we meet again in the dim galaxy.