#{ I know you're dying trying to figure me out- ooc}
Text
Blue over you - 97' Wolverine/Gn! Reader
Wolverine's not even my guy, and I finished this in a day! Haven't finished anything in a while, so this was an accomplishment! This was mainly inspired by the song Blue over you by mason ramsey, and Too sweet by hozier!
Let me know if Logan is to OOC. I'm trying my best to learn how to write for him!
Tw! Alcohol consumption, Light angst. Open-ending.
You can’t sleep.
Maybe it was because of the excitement of the day, the stress from grieving the professor, or what you ate for dinner. Either way, it was nearly 1 am at this point, and your pursuit of rest was fruitless. You let out a frustrated sigh, sitting up in bed and rubbing your eyes. You wonder if you could convince Jean to help you out, but you’re sure she’s asleep right now, and you don't want to wake her up. Especially not after she announced her… condition, at dinner.
It’s not that you weren’t excited. In fact, you were over the moon for your friends. Jean and Scott are important to you, more like siblings to you than they ever were just friends or classmates. Even so, after the cheers and congratulations and the celebration… The news left you with a melancholy you couldn’t quite shake. A baby. Jean and Scott, two people you basically grew up with, are having a baby- and here you are. Alone. You don’t have a partner, or a husband, or any romantic prospects, really. You’ve spent so long learning about yourself and how to protect others, you just never let yourself open up to someone like that. Sure, you’d met many people during your time as an X-man, but you had always been a hopeless romantic, and there had only ever been one man you had things for. But even so, you just… couldn’t help but feel like you were falling behind.
After a long stretch, and another sigh, you get out of bed. Maybe a drink and some air would help. The path to the little china cabinet in your room is familiar and automatic. It was a gift from the professor when you mentioned that you missed collecting things like funny-shaped teapots and such, a habit you picked up from your grandmother. You wonder if he knew that you used the wooden bottom cabinets to store alcohol. You laugh a little when you think about if he kept the information to himself, letting you have at least one little secret. He most definitely knew, you decided. You grab a random bottle of amber liquid, unable to see the label in the dark. You shrug it off, figuring that you’ll find out what it is at some point.
The halls of the mansion are dark and quiet as you make your way over to the balcony, stepping outside and eagerly breathing in the cool air. Your eyes are starting to droop already as you turn to shut the door, but you've come this far and you figure you might as well get a drink in.
You're rubbing your eyes again as you turn back around, only to jump at the sight of a figure sitting on the railing.
“Fuckin’ Christ!” You wheeze. “Logan, you scared the shit out of me!” The mutant hums, the corner of his lips tilting just slightly before falling again. You walk over next to him, setting the bottle down at your feet as you lean against the railing.
“Can't sleep?” You ask. Logan shakes his head, and you frown at him. As gruff as the guy is, he’s normally more talkative. At least, with you he is. You can tell that something wrong, and it doesn't exactly take a telepath to understand what it is.
“...You were the one who found out, weren’t you?” You ask, almost state. Logan Huffs at your question, hopping off of the railing to pace on the balcony. He presses his palms into his eyesockets, growling just slightly in frustration.
“Her smell was off. S’been off. Didn’t think anything of it until I heard the heartbeat.” He rumbles, setting his arms down. “Don’t know if I want to strangle Scott or throw him off of the roof of the mansion.” Logan’s hands flex in a way you know he’s just dying to unsheath his claws. You’re not entirely sure what to say at first as he sighs, and sits up against the far wall. He rests his head in his hands, and it hurts to see him like this. You open your mouth, before closing it again. You glance down at your feet, picking up the bottle you had grabbed earlier.
Logan doesn't seem to mind as you sit next to him, brushing against his shoulder. You screw off the top of the liquor, taking a swig straight out of it before offering him the bottle. It burns deliciously on the way down, and you smile cheekily as he raises an eyebrow at you. Nevertheless, the takes the bottle from you, hand brushing your own.
“You’re not gonna like it, by the way.” You laugh. Logan rolls his eyes, less than a ghost of a smile on his face.
“ ‘still liquor, ain’t it?” He hums, taking a swig. His face screws up as he swallows, holding the bottle out afterward to try and read the label.
“What is this?” He asks, disgusted. You can’t help but laugh at him as he gives you a tired look.
“Butterscotch Schnapps.” You answer him. “I told you that you weren't gonna like it, it’s too sweet for you.” Logan shakes his head, almost trying to get rid of the taste as he hands the bottle back and playfully shoves your shoulder.
“Not my fault you drink shitty liquor.” He grins. You feel a flutter in your chest as you smile back at him, taking another swig to mask whatever he could possibly pick up from you- The problems of pining for a man with super senses, you think, laughing slightly at your own thought.
“Guess it’s all for me then-” you start to joke, right before Logan snatches the bottle back.
“Gimme the damn bottle.” You’re giggling a little at this point as the alcohol starts to settle in just slightly. Logan rolls his eyes, still smiling as he takes another swig despite the fact he very clearly hates it.
The two of you go back and forth like this for a while. Take turns until the bottle is run dry. Your giggles have settled down, and the infamous wolverine has relaxed as you lean against him. The two of you sit in silence for a minute or two, both simply breathing in the cool night air.
“It’s okay, you know.” You mumble at some point. Logan, able to hold his liquor a lot better than you, cocks an eyebrow. He’s not sure if you even know you're talking at this point. You look like you’re bout to fall asleep, nuzzling against his shoulder with a pout on your face. He hums questioningly in response.
“It’s okay to hurt knowing that Jean’s pregnant.” Logan had almost forgotten about that, having been caught up in this moment. His face falls immediately, and he looks away from you, staring into the trees that surround the mansion. You feel your chest squeeze painfully, but either due to the drink or due to your lack of self-awareness, you continue talking. He needs to hear it, you drunkenly decide.
“It’s hard to watch someone you love be with someone else. It’s even harder to watch them move on without you. I know it hurts to watch her move on to the next stage of life without you. But at this point, the best thing you can do for her is support her because you love her, not covet what you wish you could have.” You know you sound like you’re drunkenly rambling, and maybe you are, but really, all of this is something you wish you could have said years ago. You’re sure you sound like Nightcrawler, talking about coveting and love and righteousness, but you’re not as much of a good person as Kurt is. You know that you’re no better than Logan, Pining after him for so long as he continues to pine for someone else. To be perfectly honest, You’re jealous of Jean. You’re jealous of her relationship, her happiness. You’re jealous of the fact that if she would turn around and throw everything away to be with Logan, he would take her in without a second thought. But she’s your friend. Your sister. You love her, and you cherish her happiness much more than you could ever resent her for it. You let out a pitiful chuckle, eyeing the last minuscule drop in the liquor bottle.
“Believe me, I would know.” You mumble. Logan’s brow furrows, taken aback by that. You’ve always been such a standalone, unbothered, always positive. It didn’t make sense to him.
“What do you mean by that?” He asks, but when he turns his head to look at you, you’ve fallen asleep against his shoulder.
The next morning, you wake up in your bed with one hell of a hangover. You groan at the light that drifts through your blinds, rolling over. When you finally open your eyes, you're greeted by the sight of a glass of water, and a bottle of painkillers. You’re confused at first, and then flooded with bashfulness and embarrassment when you realise who exactly had put them there. You roll onto your stomach, shoving your face into your pillow, unable to handle the embarrassment of knowing you said WAY too much last night. You can't help but smile a little though, knowing he must've cared enough to carry you back here and get you meds.
Maybe it wasn't all bad.
#x men 97#x men comics#wolverine#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#x men 97 x reader
215 notes
·
View notes
Text
WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PHEE?
(and other equally puzzling things)
An EXTREMELY EXTENSIVE Post-Episode 10 Analysis/Theory
So, okay. Episode 10 was A LOT. Like... A LOT, A LOT. And a lot of this lot seems... Weird as fuck. So many odd choices were made in the narrative.
Top's drugged manipulation; White pulling info about shrooms out of his ass; Fluke becoming a victim of involuntary drug abuse ghosts of his past and begging for mercy after "all he did to Non"... But nothing beats Phee's OOC moments in ep.10 while he's alone with Jin.
Which is what compels me to make this post. Because this series has been nothing but the richness of detail and now suddenly... It's all over the place? Call it wishful thinking (or Last Twilight trauma) but I don't think so. And it mostly comes down to: Phee. And whatever his "agenda" is.
PS: All screenshots of the show I use (and I will use a lot) will have been brightened because this show is FUCKING DARK, BOYYYYYY and I don't think y'all deserve to force your sight at 3AM to enjoy my posts.
WHAT HAPPENS AND WHY IT'S SUSPICIOUS
So? What does Phee say and do when he's alone with Jin in ep.10 and why am I suspicious of it?
It's hard to say for sure. But we can base ourselves off of 3 things: what we hear him say, what Jin replies to him and the flashbacks (no, they're not just there to fill in time for this very short episode, they serve a narrative purpose).
So let's do this analysis following the order in which things are shown to us, shall we?
First of all, we get a short flashback. The events are as follows:
Phee and New go to see the gang's film
New approaches Phee and they talk
New and Phee decide to try and figure out what happened to Non by infiltrating the group
New and Phee join the gang's school and start asking question
Jin decides to leave Thailand
New suggests going to Por's mansion for the goodbye party
Phee questions New in the lab about his decisions
New suggests using their homemade drug on the group as a truth serum
Phee asks if the drug is deadly and New denies it
Although we don't hear Phee tell this to Jin, Jin does reply very angrily something along the lines of "and you just let him carry on with it? why didn't you stop him? what the fuck is wrong with y'all???", so we can assume we've been shown what Phee told him.
So far, it's very unsuspicious. We've been shown these events before in the actual flashbacks so we can be fairly sure all of that is true.
It starts to get suspicious, however, when Phee replies to him: "There's so much more that you don't understand. About Non, and Tan".
And I think Jin feels the vibe too because, the man standing on his tall pillar of morality and righteousness /s, says he'll give Phee another chance to cut the bullshit and tell him everything. And so Phee sighs and the dreaded narration of ✨New's Murderous Adventures✨ starts.
So Phee tells Jin (and consequently us) that:
Phee and New set up a bunch of cameras to spy on the gang
New drugged the drinks
It was supposed to end when everyone was high at the party but New didn't follow the plan
New deleted the camera files
Phee kept drugging the group
Por's injury wasn't an accident but a trap that he thinks New set
New's drug enhances people's inner fears
Phee "never thought New would be so cruel with Uncle Dang"
New drugged Top at the temple
New must've left the hard disk for White to find
By the time he figured New's plan, there was nothing he could do about it (and we see him looking distressed at New's arrival at the house)
Now, here we have some interesting things. Let me list them for you.
Why would Phee keep drugging the group after Por got hurt?? If, as he claims, he didn't mean for people to get hurt, why would he keep people on drugs while a man is dying on the couch? Especially when the guy you're on a revenge mission with is ELIMINATING THE CONTENT OF THE CAMERA RECORDINGS!! That sure isn't gonna help anyone survive!
How does Phee know about Top??? He and Jin never saw Top arrive at the house. For all they know, that bro is lost in the woods. Right??
HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW WHITE GOT THE HARD DRIVE??? There's no signal in the woods. We've established that. When White tells Tee and New about his actions they're ALONE. The only other person there is LITERALLY THE MASKY (I'm calling the masked person that for convenience, it's shorter. besides, it seems the fandom has been calling them that anyways, so... yeah). So how does he know? How does he know???
And in that same fucking sequence: THE MASKY TRIES TO HURT NEW!!! Bu if New told Top to hurt everyone who hurt Non, why would he hurt him??? And why, my friends, WHY would he SAVE TEE, when he's the only witness of those events??? It would be so easy to just say the masky killed Tee and he couldn't save him... Is it 4D chess??? Is it a different masky??? Or, is it simply not true that New did that?
It's very confusing, weird and suspicious. But let's wait it out, guys, because there's more to PheeJin in the temple.
After this odd-ass narration, they're back to having a convo. Which goes as follows:
Jin (very validly) asks Phee what the fuck is wrong with him and New
Phee says he'd never allow them to go if he knew New was going for murder instead of just confessions ("you can hate me if you want but I never wanted anyone to get hurt, I swear" or whatever he said)
Jin asks if Tan is New and Phee is Non's boyfriend
Phee confirms Jin's suspicions and even adds that "p'New came back from England"
Jin asks if they ever saw the group as their friends
Phee says they wanted to infiltrate the group to find the truth because they didn't know shit about what happened to Non and it's haunting them (good choice of words there, very subtle /s)
Phee explains his motivation, stating he told Non to "get lost and die"
Jin confesses to recording the child grooming revenge porn tape and posting it on Twitter (-_-)
Jin explains his motivation, saying he respected Non's relationship (by constantly making moves on him?) but couldn't stand him cheating on Phee (so he one-upped him by committing not one but two actual severe crimes?)
Phee appears to be mad and disgusted so he says "Fuck. So we both were the ones who hurt Non?", gets up and starts pacing (oh no! the big boy is angy~~~ /s)
Jin gets up like a sad wet cat
Phee randomly finds an axe and takes some exposition out of his ass by stating "this must be Tan's axe that he keeps as a spare. But it's good"
Phee breaks the gate
So by this point Phee's whole speech sounds a bit insane, considering the type of person we've seen he is. Not to mention he just INSTANTLY calms down upon finding an axe and just decides to move on. Like ??? Excuse me??? If that ain't weird then idk what is. Like, sure, Phee is a very confusing and confused character (as better explored by @crysta1ized in this post). He seems to have his heart divided between many things and they could all be pulling at his strings there. HOWEVER, we have to remember Phee's also THIS guy:
Does this look like the kind of person who would just move on after a (perceived) treason? Does he??
And, the thing about this is that it gets worse.
After the scene cuts back from the house, Pheejin are lost in the damn woods (parallels to New and Tee? mayhaps, man, mayhaps...) These are the events there:
Phee is back to supporting Jin's weight with his body while they walk (which makes no fucking sense bc Jin hurt his SHOULDER which is a part of his UPPER BODY so there's no reason why he couldn't walk on his own but okay, sure)
They make no progress walking for a while, even despite trying to mark the places they've already been at
Jin is very upset that Phee's not very good at navigating through unknown forests at night
Phee, however, is very understanding and says: "Jin. I told you that I would be the one who would protect you. So I'll get you out of here" then PROCEEDS TO HOLD HANDS with him and continues with: "Right now, our friends are waiting for us to help them. So, you must stay strong. Believe in me"
Jin nods (because, despite trying to play the apathetic bitch, he's a softie and very much has feelings™)
PheeJin finally find the exit of the fucking forest
DO Y'ALL SEE HOW SOMETHING'S VERY WRONG WITH PHEE HERE??? Bro's not just acting weird (that would be fine, we love weirdos. *looks at New and winks* <3), he's abnormal. He's not acting like himself.
So, before I jump into trying to make some sense out of all of this, I'll just add the last scene of PheeJin alone in ep.10, last anyone come tell me I missed it:
They're arriving at the mansion
Jin falls down
Phee abandons the axe to help him
I don't think this one is particularly relevant to analyse Phee's character in this episode (although the axe is certainly relevant for other plots and our dear 9th person) but it's there. After this, they're back in the house with everyone and Por's rotting corpse.
PHEE IS HIDING THINGS
So what the fuck happened, really? Well, a lot. Some are easier, I think, to interpret, some aren't but regardless, there was a lot going on with Phee. To make this very complex thing a bit easier to understand, I'll start from the things I think are a bit easier to explain and/or are more solid and then I'll move from there towards the rest of this mess. Okay? Ok- (gets shot bc I hate John Green).
One thing for me that's nearly set in stone is that Phee, at the very least, isn't telling Jin everything. If he was, then the flashbacks would've started with PheeNon's falling love montage but they don't. They start at the cinema. Plus, Jin has to ask if Phee is Non's boyfriend and Tan is New, like he's piecing things by himself. If Phee had told him that, he wouldn't need to ask. AND Phee would've have referred to New as New during his whole monologue but he did not. He kept saying "Tan". He only started doing so after Jin asked the question and he confirmed Tan was New.
Curiously enough, he also never mentions the antidote he knows exists and KNOWS New brought along. And that neither of them ever used on the others.
The million-dollar question here is then, naturally: why? Various reasons, I believe.
1st of all I think we have to account for the feels. Phee is definitely in a weird ass zone with Jin but it's something. And he feels that something (whatever it is. believe me I could make an entire post about that shit, it's so fucking complex, man, and it only gets worse this episode). He likes Jin, even if he tries not to or if he dislikes that he likes him. It's undeniable. So yes, of course, he doesn't want Jin to hate his guts more than necessary.
But also... We cannot forget why Phee himself is there: to find out what happened to Non. And what does he get out of the conversation he has with Jin? That's right. A confession.
Now, I don't think it's the confession he expected if his reactions are anything to go by:
I mean... If this is not the face of a man thinking "well, shit", then idk what it is. And also because, idk if it's a subtitle error or not, but he seems to ask "what did you three do?" when he's inquiring about the events of the past, so...
Someone is being excluded.
Still, I think it's super possible he was hoping to get something out of it. After all, even if he assumes Jin is innocent in his actions, I don't think he's excluding him from having knowledge of what went down. That would make his positive bias even sillier.
So yeah, sure, I bet Phee feels genuinely guilty and it hurts him to be in the situation he's in and he definitely wants to be in a good place in terms of his relationship with Jin, especially because, as he said, he doesn't know if they can get out of the temple. But also... As Ta (Phee's actor) himself said in an interview: Phee can be really manipulative (I can't find the damn interview rn but, during my search, I found @raelle-writing had also mentioned it in this post, so I think it's enough to say I didn't dream that shit). You know... 2 things can be true at once.
Which brings me to the next part:
PHEE IS LYING
That whole talk of "I never thought he would hurt you", "if I had known I wouldn't have let you come", blah, blah, blah. That's some major BULLSHIT.
Phee knew exactly what New was capable of. At least, on a subconscious level. After all, if my friends started being murdered, my 1st assumption would not be that my best friend did it. Unless, of course, my best friend was spiralling down to madness, constantly using drugs to see his dead brother and answering shit like this:
With a smirk on, when I ask him if the absynthe is gonna kill our friends. Because yeah, sure, I guess the green won't kill them. But you can't tell me this motherfucker wouldn't. He definitely would. And if we can infer that, so does Phee, who has been living with him as his close friend for the last 3 years.
In fact, the very fact that he feels the need to ask whether or not the drugs will kill the gang is proof enough that he, to some extent and, whether or not he's aware of it, KNOWS that's, at least, a possibility. Knows that's something New would do.
So yeah, he's perhaps not just lying to Jin (but also to himself) or not intentionally lying, but he's lying nevertheless. Phee knew this was a possibility. He knew New was capable of stuff like that. And when he pieces the story together, that's him admitting, even if no one realizes, that he knew it. And that he let it happen, in fact, because he never tried to stop the drugging. Or talked to New about what was going on (you'd think if he had that he would've told Jin in that situation). His biggest weapon is his knowledge and he chose not to swing the sword sooner. How very Fluke of him, isn't it? Especially because now 2 people are dead and that's on New, right? Right???
Not necessarily.
NEW IS NOT A MURDERER (initially)
You see, for all we see New is fine with death and murder in episodes 9 and 10, he makes it clear his nº1 goal is to figure out what happened to Non when he gets in front of a fucking firearm to harass Tee into talking.
So why would he talk Top into murder? Why would Top attack him?? Why would he kill Uncle Dang?? And why, on the goddamn Earth, would he eliminate the recordings in the house when his whole motivation is
(Thank you, hallucination Non <3) to expose them??? Especially when the only other person who knew about the hidden cameras was Phee. It makes no sense! Sure, he might've contemplated the murder, but on a later phase of the plan, I think. The priority was, always, to get them to confess on camera so he could later use the recordings to expose them to the country and clear Non's image. 'Cause we cannot forget, while the people close to Non don't buy the bullshit TV news sensationalist story (and, therefore, are searching for the truth), the rest of the country thinks Non is a slut who ran away with mafia money and his teacher (because, like @delululover explains in this post: Asian culture tends to normalize grooming of older teens and even blame them for the situation).
So what are we seeing when Phee narrates the events? Well, probably just Phee's guesses.
He thinks New is deranged and has drugs and that Top is missing and now they're being attacked by this person, who is conveniently wearing a mask. So he guesses that's Top. Plus, he doesn't know New was attacked by Masky in the middle of the forest.
He knows, like everyone else, that New had the hard drive. And, when Top and New go out in the woods with the bike he remains in the house. So, it's possible he saw the hard drive there where New left it before he went out.
And, because the only 2 people remaining in the house, as far as Phee knows, are Fluke and White, and New DEFINITELY wouldn't want the drive to get into Fluke's hands, he must've assumed New wanted White to find it (which may or may not be true but it's irrelevant, I think).
And, yes, calm down, I can hear you scream: "But how did he know White watched the video???" And the answer I bring you is very simple: he didn't. He has no idea. And the best part is: you only think he knows because you know. But Phee never says that. He says New left the hard drive there for White to find. And that's it. He never mentions a video whatsoever.
Now, is it convoluted? Yes. Absolutely. But we have to think this is Phee we're talking about. He's the guy who always thinks he has the upper hand (a.k.a thinking he can save Non or that he's not falling in Love with Jin). It's almost impossible for him to think he's in the dark as to what is happening to them. After all, in his narrative of his life, he is the hero. And, I know, lots of people in the fandom see it that way as well, so... It's not impossible to imagine that's what the story is trying to sell us. It's trying to make us believe Phee knows. When in reality, I think, it's more likely that Phee's the embodiment of this meme:
Okay. But then if New didn't do it, then who did? Because something is obviously going on with Top, right? And Uncle Dang IS very much dead. So what the fuck is that all about?
THE SECRET 9TH PERSON? ENTITY? THING?
As discussed several times by several people in this fandom, there's a very high possibility that there's someone else with them in the woods.
@blmpff points out the existence of various versions of the mask here. @subtextsays points out the crutches in the bathroom scene with Top here. There's this shit:
Whatever it fucking means (besides the fact that it gives me the hibbie jibbies). Someone is also obviously taking care of the Janta cult because there's fresh food in the offerings.
@raelle-writing also points out here that New is also seeing stuff even though our favourite insane motherfucker has got (and has been using!) the antidote.
And, as of episode 10, as @babyangelsky pointed out in this post, when PheeJin are lost in the damn woods, the cuts on the wood Phee supposedly make keep changing.
Which makes both of us question if they're all the same cut or even all done by Phee.
So, I think this is enough to speculate Phee could very much just be misinterpreting the whole thing and attributing guilt to New when, in fact, someone else has been causing the deaths.
Now you may question who and that's all very fair. You should even. But that is not what this post is about and, frankly, thank god, because this is already a monstrous creation.
So let's pick these cuts in the wood and use it as a segway to the last part of this, shall we?
PHEE IS AS BENEVOLENT AS A GREEK GOD
So Phee's mad. Super mad. He's passing around and cursing.
Jin, the only person he probably genuinely thought didn't do anything, is the one who recorded and posted the video.
And then Phee finds an axe. And, suddenly, Phee changes. Why?
Well, we have to look at it with what urges Phee to talk in the first place (besides his feelings and his wants): Phee is losing hope. He states it himself that he doesn't think they're going to be able to get out of the temple. So, he talks. Sure, he doesn't say everything but it's the closest to being honest with Jin we've ever seen him be.
And then their whole reality changes. Because Phee found an axe. And it all comes down on him: they are going to get out of there. And what now?
As @yellingaboutkp states in this post Phee is not only hard to read for us or confusing to the other characters (Jin mainly). He's also hard to read and confusing to himself: "...is Phee still playing Jin? It seems like he's trying to, but the more time he spends with Jin, the harder it's getting to stick to the plan."
Thus, what we see at the end of their time in the temple and alone in the woods is a mix of things, I believe.
Phee needs to feel like he's in control again. And with the original plan being ruined and Jin knowing too much (and there's no way he's not gonna speak, in fact, it's the very first thing he does when they arrive at he house) he's simply not. So when he tells Jin everything is gonna be alright, he's also trying to tell that to himself. He's trying to reassure himself that they're gonna get out of that huge mess. And, perhaps, in saving Jin also finding some redemption because, according to his own narration of the events, he let New go too far (as Jin points out).
Phee also knows more now. And maybe, if he was able to get Jin to speak once, without even having to force anything out of him. who knows if he cannot do it a second time in front of the cameras they've set inside the house? So he's trying to follow the script and manipulate him into trusting him, like he always has been trying to do. Except this time he's more bitter about it. And this, alongside with reason 1, is why these two scenes feel so different:
And lastly: Phee knows the catastrophic effects his words and actions had on Non when they broke up. He knows the consequences of his rage. It's the entire reason why he's there. Because he failed at being a good boyfriend the 1st time. Does he really want that to happen again? Does he want to fail Jin too? There's a reason (besides the story itself and his need to justify himself to Jin) why we see that flashback of his break-up with Non in this episode. And I believe this is it. (so yeah, I understand it might be frustrating to see Phee be more benevolent to Jin who fucked up big time than Non who didn't do anything, it is EXACTLY because he wasn't benevolent to Non that Jin is getting princess treatment)
So, in conclusion: Phee is fucking confused. And it carries on being that way for the rest of the episode. Phee calls New out but he doesn't seem to care too much about Por being dead on the couch. He helps Jin on the ground, but he doesn't say a thing about Fluke pointing a gun at Tee. Sure, he does ask for the gun at a certain point but isn't that just more of Phee's desperate need to get control back?
And we see this all come down to the preview of the next episode and what it's probably going to mean:
Phee finally has got things under his control again. But this means, surprise, surprise, that Phee's gotta make a choice: to shoot (and stand on New's side) or not to shoot (and stand on the gang's side). Which, of course, metaphorically is a choice, in good romance and BL fashion, between 2 lovers: Non and Jin. But also, in good storytelling, as, once again, @raelle-writing (can't help myself, Rae's posts are FIRE 🔥🔥 sksksksksks) explores better in this post: a choice between the past and the present; continuing to drown in grief and a wish for revenge or choosing to move on and heal.
And, as I (YES, if I'm gonna tag a bunch of people and their works, YOU BET, I'm gonna link my own stuff) explore in this post about White's identity and role in the story (and other people in the fandom have commented as well), I'm inclined to believe he's gonna pick the gang, Jin, the present, healing. Because this is a story about the damage caused by cycles of violence and grief. And a story about how, the only way to stop them, is to choose not to participate in them by letting go.
(and also because we already have characters who represent different choices like Non, who was always stuck in the future because he kept getting deeper and deeper into shit, thinking tomorrow would be better; or New, who is very obviously stuck in the past, unable to let go of the things he didn't do, the things he didn't prevent and only ends up losing more and more as a consequence)
CONCLUSION
Thank you for your time and attention. Feel free to comment and discuss this with me. And I'll see you either on my next long-ass monologue or next Saturday as we watch episode 11!
All the love 💜💜💜
PS: Shout-out to the group chat, including, but not limited to: @ayansbff, @cyberstalking and @squishysquadstuff who have listened to me ranting about this post since Saturday and told me to eat when I was too focused on writing it. Your patience was fundamental in carrying me through this monstrous project (it took me 10 hours to write all this) 💜💜💜.
#dff#dff the series#dead friend forever#dead friend forever the series#dff spoilers#dff meta#dead friend forever meta#dff the series meta#dff theory#dead friend forever theory#dff the series theory#dff episode 10#dff the series episode 10#dead friend forever episode 10#dff ep10#dff the series ep10#dead friend forever ep10#phee dff#phee dff the series#phee dead friend forever#dff phee#dff the series phee#dead friend forever phee#pheejin
173 notes
·
View notes
Note
Class 1-A with reader who's a high school detective? Or rather, UA's secret high school detective? Kinda like with Detective Conan! She helps the police solve cases, which she always gets right not through any Quirk but through logic and smarts. It's possible that she has a lot of excuse notes if she's ever late for school, or if she has to leave early to help with an extremely serious case. I bet a bunch of kids will be jealous until they figure out the reason behind her absences,
Characters: Class 1A
Genre: General/Humor/Fluff + Fic/Bulletpoints
CW: gn!reader (you/your/they/them)
a/n: 1) I've never actually watched Detective Conan (yet)! Is it any good? 2) This idea kinda grew on me when I started writing this, I think it's a really cool idea. Thank you for requesting anon, I'm really sorry for the long wait and I hope you enjoy! (and sorry for any OOCness, it's been some time since I watched BnHA but I still wanted to finish this)
Class 1A w/ a Secret Detective Reader
"Heyyyy it's (L/N)! On time for once are ya?" instantly your head snapped up at the cheerful call, blond hair with a streak of black catching your eye. Finishing off a note within the margin, you straighten and stretch for the first time in what felt like weeks. Both hearing and feeling that oh so satisfying pop you relax, offering the male and the group behind a tired smile. Briefly, you couldn’t help but wonder how Kaminari (and honestly everyone else) had so much energy this early in the morning. Though, upon remembering that they don't spend hours pouring through case files you brush the thought away quickly.
"Hmph, that's a first," the spiky, rough-around-the-edges ash blond tuts. You pay his comment no mind, something between a tired huff and a laugh passes through your lips, it's not like he's wrong.
"Heh, the world must be ending." Though you spoke in nothing but a mutter most heard your follow up. Good natured laughter fills the room, you included in its chorus.
It’s no secret that you're tardy more often than not. At the beginning, most didn’t know how to interpret your routine of a flimsy excuse notes in hand and a rushed apologizing. Were you not used to early morning classes? Traffic hold you up? Are you late on purpose perhaps?
“No, no and no,” you reassured one afternoon. Then why? someone asked, to which you left them with a flamboyant “I'm saving the world!” Everyone was quick to drop it back then - not out of respect, but because they knew if they're getting a dumb, zealous answer like that then they can kiss a real answer goodbye.
Of course, behind the scenes many were dying to know your real reasons. They theorized, sharing their thoughts with one another when you aren’t around. Hell, Kaminari, Mina, Sero and a select few all going as far as to make a post it board, red sting tying info together and all. After all, if Aizawa is always there, ready to deliver a quick and light scolding the second you try to sneak to your seat mid-lesson, it can't be that bad, right? Unfortunately, to this day your secret remains shrouded in mystery.
Your sly joke from mere moments ago sparked a large, seemingly never-ending conversation with the class. In your defense, you did try to stay on task, but really, how could you not spend some time with your friends? Not to mention that it's been far too long, the police and UA keeping you busy. A break is just what you need to stay in tip-top shape.
Attention pulled far from your gloomy detective work, the atmosphere felt light, carefree within the room as everyone talked and had fun. A welcomed change.
The rolling of the classroom doors puts an abrupt stop to the merriment. Being around long enough to know the routine, every teen made their way to their respective seats.
Aizawa said nothing at first, standing dead in his spot in the doorway. No one dared to whisper their concerns about if something happened, but it was safe to say everyone felt on edge.
Finally, he speaks, "(L/N)."
At once their world came to a screeching halt, twenty pairs of eyes darting between yourself and the teacher. Other than when you're late, you never get called out right off the bat, never mind the tone used.
Silence stretched on for several agonizing seconds, not one soul making a sound. Tension only rose when a few caught sight of the police chief out in the hall, additional officers on either side.
Shock morphs into fear. What's happened? Are you in trouble? Have you done something wrong? Got mixed up with the wrong crowd? With each new thought that pops up in their minds a disgustingly familiar feeling grows, threatening to consume them whole. Just as a group of students open their mouths to finally say something, defend your innocence, demand answers, the squeak of your chair being pushed back cuts it all off.
…How are you so calm?
Clear as day you appear unbothered. As if it doesn't appear that your arrest is upon you. So, is it just a cover? A way to hide the fear pumping through your system?
As you stand and walk further and further away from them all, Aizawa hot on your heels, the class is left to wonder if history is repeating. Are they about to be so paralyzed that they'll fail to protect a friend once more?
"Don't do anything stupid. We'll be back shortly," Aizawa's gruff voice says and the door shuts.
-- --
They're already planning your prison break, the sweethearts <3
Most rationale has left the room since no explanation makes sense other than worst-case :/
It's Bakugou - who just so happens to sit next to you - and all his smarts that loudly demands everyone to "calm the hell down", quickly adding that "they're not going to jail you cry-babies, they work for them."
Of course that does nothing to remedy the situation. What does Bakugou know? It takes the ash-blond shoving your discarded case documents into everyone's unsuspecting faces for them to believe him.
Cue a loud chorus of "THEY'RE A DETECTIVE!?" Which is true, you are in fact a detective. Or, a part-time one at least, if the scrawled Detective Work in your writing was anything to go by. Safe to say some of your closest friends are somewhat hurt you didn't tell them. Don't worry they get over it quickly, they've plenty of time to harass you, seeing as you’ve just walked back into the room.
And seeing how everyone is staring at you, multiple papers scattered between the group it's not hard to piece things together.
"The cat's outta the bag I suppose," you get ready for the storm that's coming your way, sitting back down and taking a deep breath.
No teaching was done that day.
Like most reveals that happen, things settle back to normal after a week. Now instead of getting asked why you were late your friends are asking for all the juicy details of your case (none of which you can actually tell them). Doesn't stop some from asking every time though,,,,
Feel free to talk to them seriously. You might not be able to tell them much, but if you're in a slump and need to talk it out with someone they're more than willing to listen. You'll either figure it out on your own or they'll end up saying something that makes everything click :)
You're no longer just UA's detective but Class 1-A's personal super sleuth now. Something's missing? Better call Sherlock Holmes. And with this bunch, you're going to get called a lot. You could make a profit if you started to charge them :|
I can definitely see them bringing you snacks/meals and something to drink if you're stuck working long hours or late into the night <3 Like they'll see your light on and they'd make sure to stop by the kitchen just so they can drop off something for you on their way back.
Stressful or upsetting case? These guys are the best at distracting you. Bakusquad will drag you out to play some video games in one of their rooms or at an arcade. If that's not something you're into or you're not in the mood you can always train with someone and let out some steam that way. Or or or the girls will gladly take you out shopping with them!
Many are more than willing to help you catch up on classwork. They understand that balancing class, being a detective for the school and an internship is no easy task
If you're ever gone for a long period of time because your work takes you out of town or something be ready for a warm welcome back and hugs the moment you walk through the door :)
Oh, and you're absolutely right Anon, no less than 80% of the class is jealous you get to leave early and they remain that way even after learning why lol. "Oh to be a detective and get to leave early!" Literally all of them at one point or another with their own way of saying it.
Tag list: @tickotaku // @decora-peaches // @dorkylittleweirdo // @thylocalcrackhead // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu // @unidentifiedzombie // @lordbugs // @akiria12167
. . .
Wanna be tagged in future works? Consider filling out this form! And if you want to be removed just DM or send an ask into my inbox!
#bnha fanfiction#bnha x reader#bnha#mha#mha x reader#mha fanfiction#class 1a x reader#class 1 a headcanons#bnha class 1 a#bnha class 1a#class 1 a x reader
390 notes
·
View notes
Text
You're An Idiot
My first Rufus x Reader writing so it feels OOC now but 🤷♀️
The barrier materia saved you and your charge from dying as you fell from the helicopter but it didn't save you from buttloads of bruises. You couldn't help a groan every time you moved the tiniest bit.
"You've been rather frosty lately."
You focused your eyes on the man sitting opposite you. President Rufus Shinra smirked, probably doing just fine the heat with his stupid white suit. You cooked in your black suit, your Turk "uniform." You were tired, hot, and /in pain/. It robbed you of your ability to be professional. His smirk told you he thought he had the upper hand in the conversation and you were having none of it.
You counted three, long, seconds in your head before answering in the flattest tone you could muster, "I don't know what you mean, Sir."
"That hurts," he replied.
That wasn't true and you both knew it.
You were hot because of your location. You were in pain because of the fall. And you were tired because of last night.
You had gotten into the habit of obeying the president without thinking. Sometimes he made ridiculous decisions but his mind was sharp when he gave orders. You were assigned to protect Rufus and Rufus only. Too often, he dove head-first into situations that required people to catch him as he fell. Today, it was literally. So you only had his safety in mind when he summoned you to his penthouse late last night. Maybe someone had broken in?
Your keycard beeped and you innocently pushed open the door. A pair of hands slammed the door on either side of your head, arms caging you in. You blinked, startled.
"Sir...?"
Before you could even register the details of his face, his hand grabbed your chin and his lips met yours. This was wrong. But trying to listen to your conscious was like trying to hold back a flood with a thimble. It was too late, and you were opening your mouth to receive his tongue. It was then that you tasted the alcohol. This was extra wrong but you still couldn't hear your conscious screaming in the background that this won't end well, damnit.
It had been too long since anyone had come at you with any amount of passion (it was the job, it kept you too busy). You grew weak in the knees. When he pulled back, you awkwardly fell to your knees. He pretended not to notice. Instead, he placed his hand under your chin again. He hooked his other hand in his belt. Well, the one around his waist. Him standing above you and your face being roughly level with his crotch told you what he was hoping for.
"You want me, don't you?"
Your answer was to turn your head slightly and suck on his thumb. His lips parted. He maintained eye contact while fumbling to find the zipper under his jacket.
Your phone, the treacherous little thing, chose just then to beep, announcing a message. It was probably Tseng, to boot. The sound seemed to sober Rufus in an instant. He took a step back and turned away.
"You're dismissed. Get some sleep."
You started to rise. "...Sir?'
"Get out," he spat with venom.
You scurried back to your room and didn't sleep well, spending most of the rest of your precious sleeping hours trying to figure out how much Rufus was like his father. You could be unemployed in the morning if he decided you were unfuckable.
In the morning, he pretended nothing had happened. Being friendly as usual. Which was pissed you off even more, come to think of it. At present, you were firmly not giving in to his games and replying with as attitude as you dared. If you were stuck here until help arrived, so was he. You could be scolded by Tseng later.
"...if you quit, I think Tseng might actually start crying over my safety."
This man. His joke almost made you smile. Instead of smiling, you asked hopefully, also half-jokingly, "So if I quit, you might die?"
"Ouch." He let the silence stretch, watching your face thoughtfully. Finally, he said, "I didn't want to be like my father."
That surprised you so much that you forgot about maintaining the frostiness. "But you're not!" You blurted. "I wouldn't be here if you were." The idea of spending time with the disgusting, old previous president made you shudder a little.
"Thanks." The word was devoid of the usual arrogance. Saying that meant a lot, coming from him.
It still hurt too much to move your body, so you grabbed one of the layers of his suit and began to pull him toward you. Lightly enough that he could stop you if he wanted. You kept pulling until you nearly touching foreheads. Staring into his eyes this close almost softened your resolve. "I'll give you another chance. But don't. Play. Games," you warned.
He smiled and pecked your forehead in reply. "Can't promise anything."
Even though the current issue had been resolved, you had the feeling another one was soon to pop up. You sighed, really wanting that rescue.
#rufus shinra x reader#ff7 remake#ff7 rebirth#ff7#gender neutral reader#bodyguard reader#do I think barrier can do that? no#but who is gonna stop me#turk!reader
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
hopeless romantic thoma as your classmate.
a very short hcs abt thoma! this is actually a another version of the hcs because the first one was too long! so in here, i'll try & keep it simple!
warnings: very ooc (i'm sorry), cursing, badly written, might contain typos and grammatical errors
thoma, just what the title said—is a hopeless romantic. he falls in love easily, falls harder, daydreams about their crush, and because of that, he falls out of love easily too.
this didn't matter to thoma. he knows what kind of person he is and he's not the type to confess immediately because he knows that if that person shows something that immediately turns him off, that person is erased or scratched out from his crush list.
our thoma here prefers a serious relationship. and even though he falls in love easily, and sometimes feels the urge to confess to the person they're interested in—he won't.
if thoma somehow confesses his feelings for you, that might mean that you've known each other for a while now, you're very close to each other and so on.
thoma is in love with the idea of being in love. being able to care for someone, someone cares about you, being able to love them and they also love you, and all that kind of stuff. he might seem like he has high standards but if you do the "bare minimum" on him-boom! you're officially his crush.
speaking of crushes, he's had happy crushes too!!! actually, funny story- thoma had a crush on someone and well, that someone has a partner! guess what- he was heartbroken but that went away quickly.
oh, and he's also the type to pass by his crush's classroom just to look at them for a millisecond before turning around and giggling like a little schoolgirl.
enough of that, let's get down to business.
WHAT IF thoma fell in love for real? like- omg i have a crush on them to omg i love them type of way??? thoma lovers (me) here's your crumbssss <333
a transferee student (you) became classmates with him, thoma fell in love at first sight, oh and wait- there's more!!! you might look like you'll bite but you're very friendly, you care about your academic performance, smart (if you're a math and science smart congratulations you fucking won), that's a plusss 1000 points for thoma.
BUT HEY- the two of you got close, laughed and joked together, you helped him with his homeworks and stuff that he can't understand that's plus 5000 points.
NAHHH YOU TWO GOT PARTNERED UP FOR A SCIENCE PROJECT?!@?!? WOW HOW LUCKY imagine thoma staring at you, smiling so softly while you explain the instructions and shit (whatever you do in group works because my group members are useless asf /hj) ONG IM DYING FR FOLDING
and that project helped the two of you understand each other better!??!?!?! science never sounded this good in thoma's ears.
AND THOMA'S REALISING THAT HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HIS OTHER CRUSHES ANYMORE!?!??! HUGE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FRRR
the panic, the realisation, that warm feeling, the feeling of winning- thoma felt all of that as he stared at you, figuring out the problems you need to solve for a math homework (i think thoma's ideal type is a smarty guys😥)
that's when thoma knew, he had to confess to you and well- his ideas and daydreams for confessing to someone saved him. all the romance books he'd read, all those scenarios in his head led to this final moment.
“i...i've liked you ever since the moment we met! you were so cool and smart and you managed to get past all the problems that were thrown at you. you're the bravest and strongest person I've ever met and i'm inspired! i-i thought that this feeling might not last that long but every time, every second that we were together that feeling grew and grew and before I knew it, i was madly in love with you.”
“y/n, would you like to explore this feeling with me?”
© rdngl 2023. do not repost, copy, translate or claim my works.
#☆rdngl—writings.#astronetwrk#genshin impact#thoma#genshin impact thoma#genshin thoma#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact headcanons#genshin headcanons#genshin impact fluff#genshin fluff
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Witching Hour (2)
Note: this series has nothing to do with Alex Kister or The Mandela Catalogue. Please go check out his amazing work on YouTube.
Sidenote that this sequel has horror elements, body horror, mentions of suicide and manipulation.
After an encounter with several alternates in the church, you corner Gabriel. You're focused on learning the truth about what's actually going on. Oh, and the reader messes around with fire. That's pretty much it.
Gabriel is slightly ooc but everyone has their own interpretation on how he interacts with others or the reader.
Enjoy
ao3 link!
It had been months since your arrival to Gabriel’s church. He welcomed you with open arms, or wings should you say.
He disappeared for some time, mostly 9 hours or so each day. He never told you why. You did get curious from time to time. Tonight, you’d try and ask about it.
Currently, your goal was figuring out if your magick was real or not. Had you actually summoned Gabriel? Or was it a coincidence that a being of power appeared before you? There was something odd about that forest anyway. Also, the fact that the creatures made of black shadows and blank faces never targeted you.
That probably gave the villagers ideas as to why you were the witch as well.
“Ignite.”
Speaking of witchcraft, you held your palm over an unlit candle, staring at it intently.
You sat on the bed in the room that Gabriel had gratefully prepared for you. You could’ve slept on the cot in the basement but he said otherwise. It beats a scratchy haystack and a wool blanket at ‘home.’
This candle was your one and only priority at the moment. “Ignite.” You bit your lip in focus. “…Ignite.”
The candle remained untouched. This had been going on for five minutes now. “I swear you were sparking earlier. I saw it with my own eyes. Ignite, damn you!”
The sound of footsteps running across the hall caught your attention.
“Gabriel? Is that you?” He just left. Maybe he forgot something?
Instead, another voice answered.
‘Gabriel? Is that you?’
Your mouth went dry. Something fell in the main room of the church making you jump back behind your bed.
And the flame burst to life, dying just as quickly as it sparked. “By the gods, I did it!”
The same voice answered.
You looked around for something to defend yourself, but there was nothing. It only made you curious than fearful. This had to end. Would these creatures really attack you?
There was only one way to find out.
Your village barely knew how to take these creatures down, if that was even possible. One man was driven insane; he talked about the devil speaking to him at night, saying the worst things imaginable. He finally shot himself after days of suffering.
Fear. They fed off of fear and manipulation.
Creeping out of your bedroom, you tip toed down the hall into the huge cathedral. Shadows formed where the candles had once been lit. Eyes of all shapes glared from corners; some of the blank faces similar to the villagers at home. One of them looked exactly like the handmaid, but her neck was bent at an impossible angle.
Quickly, you snatched a still lit candelabra and stabbed at the darkness. “Stay back! I’m not afraid to defend myself!”
The reverse-maid cackled at your attempts to look bigger. “Stay back…stay back…” Her smiled stretched across her cheek bones.
Something touched your shoulder, and you lashed out at the perpetrator.
“It’s just me! Calm down!” Gabriel stood in front of you, his free arm reaching for the candlebra. “Put it down.”
“But those things! They’re everywhere!” You looked around. The cackling ceased, and it seemed as if they were waiting for something to happen.
“I was afraid this would happen.” Gabriel kept his grip on you. “Those things are called alternates, my alternates. And they should know better than to mess with my visitor.” He eyed the closest shadow figure. “Right?”
It shied away from Gabriel’s threats, sinking back into the floor like black ink.
“Your…you created these?” Your face paled and your turned around in his grip. “Gabriel, you need to be honest with me. Are you the cause of the alternate invasion?”
“…Yes. I understand if you’re upset with me.” His gaze was full of concern, as if this was the first time you met him again. “Do you need some space to think about this?”
You were silent for some time. “No..I mean yes. Well- I just…this is all so confusing.” Your hands gripped your outfit tightly. “The maid. I saw her die at the hanging ceremony. She’s alive?”
“She’s dead and gone. Some alternates are better at evolving than others.” His eyes narrowed as he glare at the alternate across the way, still watching them. “They expected you to go mad from all the attention. But it never happened...which isn’t common in these parts.”
“Were you watching as the villagers tried to kill me? Please don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not in charge of who comes and goes. The alternates truly decide the humans fate. But when you called me, I couldn’t resist.”
“So that’s why I was confused as to why you appeared…You told me already you’re not an angel.”
“Does that change how you see me? Do you despise me as much as the alternates?”
“Despise you? No, of course not.” You laughed. “I’m going to sound pathetic when I say this, but you’ve probably been the most kind to me.”
Gabriel seemed to relax at that. “Look at me.” He tilted your chin up at his face. It was hard since he towered over you.
“Please don’t tell me I’m not like other humans.”
He laughed. “No. I meant that you are not pathetic. You fought against the will of going mad. I’d say that’s quite brave.”
“…Really?”
“I’m not lying, dear.”
After a long period of silence, you began to laugh.
“Dove? Are you sure you’re alright?”
You grinned. “Serves those villagers right for destroying everything around me! Keep suffering then.”
“Dove, that’s so dark. I love to hear it.” Gabriel grinned. “I’m relieved that our conversation went smoothly.” His hands met yours again. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
There was a strange desperation in his last sentence. Which was odd…
Considering you were only a small being
You almost forgot about the flame magick.
“Oh, you aren’t going to believe what I discovered this evening!”
And with that, you guided him towards one of the unlit candles.
--
Congrats, you're an elemental witch. Neat, right?
I don't have any plans on continuing this series since I tied up all the loose ends. Unless an idea strikes me, this will be all for The Witching Hour
I will not be taking requests or writing for any other characters, since Alex is uncomfortable with the concept. I do not want to cross that boundary
#alternate gabriel x reader#archangel gabriel x reader#the mandela catalogue au#my fics#the mandela catalogue self insert#spookiifi
59 notes
·
View notes
Note
I saw your post and I don't understand Gunn. What does a real family mean? I'm so confused. He dragged her butt back to the guardians and had her go through all the emotional turmoil of the whole movie for her fake family? Okay I guess but that seems stupid. Does she still get to be sisters with Nebula at least or is that now off the table.
Really though why does nothing about Gamora's story make sense anymore? She fell off a cliff and everything went to shit. I realized that Peter has basically been depressed since 2018 and falling apart drinking since being unsnapped. Nebula had one thing she wanted and that was a sister and she had to go without that for 5 years and then suddenly she gets her back and that's it. The rest of them don't even appear to fully grasp what's been going on. All this stuff happens off camera and then we're in vol 3 and before you know it the story is over.
The only way I can make sense of any of it is to see it as a story of Gamora dying and everything fell apart. Peter decented into a black pit of despair, the guardians couldn't figure out what to. Nebula trying to help running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Then Rocket nearly dies before dealing with his abuser and they all free some people before parting ways at the end. Otherwise the lack of information and explanation of why certain things are happening, have happened and some characters appearing checked out of the situation entirely, is just too much to comprehend. Noone else who died in IW or EG has had this crappy of an emotional follow up or further exploration of character except maybe Heimdall. I just don't understand it.
yeah i totally agree with you anon, like i was just telling some of my friends the other day how i think gamora honestly has like the WORST arc in the mcu bc of this whole thing. like other characters had arcs that ended rly stupidly (like steve lmao) bc they were ooc or did nothing but i think gamora's is like, a separate level of Terrible bc it's not even like she got an ooc ending or regressed or something, her "arc" was her life after thanos just being straight up ERASEDDDD in canon like. my god
and you're so right abt how the other characters who died in iw/eg have been treated better by the narrative in the time since, save for heimdall - like yesterday i was specifically trying to think of gamora's arc vs natasha romanoff's specifically in how both (after being fridged) have been grieved in the canon narratives since then, and, oh man...gamora truly got the worst of the worst here. like, we have gotten to see yelena and clint have actual arcs in their separate grieving processes for natasha (in addition to seeing tony, steve, bruce, and thor all grieve her in endgame), and bc it's become such an integral part of yelena's character specifically, i think it's fair to say we're probably going to see natasha's legacy continue in yelena's future stories
gamora has literally gotten nothing to this extent, bc we only ever see peter and nebula grieve her, and in vol 3 there are TWO TIMES where someone mentions gamora being dead and another character is like Well, Actually, She's Alive, She Just Doesn't Remember ! which essentially creates zero space in the narrative for the rest of the gotg to express grief for her, since it's established that they've apparently all made peace with 2014!gamora existing as a replacement but wanting absolutely nothing to do with them before the film which just seems ??? like you're telling me drax, rocket, mantis, and groot - none of them miss THEIR gamora EITHER ?????
like obviously i get gamora isn't gonna be swayed to do much after 48 hours (although how much time passes in vol 1 before the gotg start deciding they're a team/family....?) esp with the baggage of the original gamora vs 2014!gamora weighing over everything (except that the narrative shows and establishes only peter being the one to be struggling with this baggage, suggesting 2014!gamora could have relationships with the rest of the gotg without this conflict at all lol), but just....idk it's messy! (also when peter tried to gatekeep being a ravager from gamora during that one scene LMAOOO there was something so satisfying in that)
ALSO to continue making a long answer long...considering all the variant character nonsense the mcu has been trying to put us through in recent years with all the multiverse stuff, i think it's fair to look at gamora through that lens. bc that is literally what mcu phases 4 and 5 are abt. the multiverse. and what characters are like in different timelines.
between the loki show and no way home, we get the idea that there are certain values and truths that are inherent to each character no matter what world or timeline they live in - as the loki show so succinctly puts it, "what makes a loki a loki?"
so that brings me to ask, what makes a gamora a gamora?
and i don't think a gamora can exist without being part of the guardians family, so it's disappointing that our onscreen, canon narrative, ends before that can happen, and it's more disappointing that the language of "real family" suggests a conflict with gamora achieving that.
(inb4 someone's like WELL IT'S OPEN-ENDED IT'S WHAT HAPPENS OFFSCREEN AFTER ETC bc yeah i agree that could be a natural next step in 2014!gamora's story. which is the problem. THE STORY IS OVER. we aren't GETTING gamora or the gotg anymore, besides peter allegedly, whatever tf that entails lmao. so no matter how open-ended this is, it's still the last we're seeing of them in canon, so it deserves to be criticized as such - the canon end of the franchise.)
#also like i'm just gonna say it...gamora was the first woc lead in the mcu. so let ppl be upset abt this.#esp let woc be upset abt this bc it's not like the gotg franchise has always been kind to its poc-coded characters. that isn't new#ask#gotg vol 3 spoilers#gamora#gotg#mcu#the gamora situation
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey guess what. have child Teagan meeting the Hunter's.
is it ooc? maybe. do i care? not right now. is it in any way edited? no. is it mainly dialogue? yes. is this liable to change in a final draft? eh, who knows. (have i still not played the game and only watched the beginning of a playthrough? yeah. hence the "possibly ooc")
(I'm intending this whole fic to be a comedy with found family, bits of angst and also healing from trauma caused by isolation, the hunt, dying hundreds of times and a shitty childhood. focus relationship is father-child relationship between Teagan and Gehrman. Teague is an oc old hunter, Teagan is the Hunter for the actual game.)
anyways, enjoy
-----------
The townsfolk keep looking at the child and then quickly away. Afraid.
"Why are they afraid of you?" Teague asks the pale child.
"They don't like how quiet I am. Or that I don't like the incense."
Their nose crinkles in disgust.
"It gives me headaches and makes me sneeze. And I can't help that I walk quiet, I tried being louder but they didn't like that either."
They poke at their food.
"They think I know too much and say things I shouldn't."
They shake their head, kicking their heels.
"It's fine. I'm used to people not liking me."
"Well, I like you. The incense makes my nose run like crazy too," Ludwig said.
The child studies him.
"I like you better like this. You were very sad and tired before. Also you tried to eat me."
They point at Maria.
"You were scarier to fight. I died to you lots of times. Laurence was easier and harder, he couldn't talk anymore, he just tried to eat me and burn me."
The hunters exchange looks.
"I found Laurence's skull way before I ever found him. It talked, it was weird."
"You don't say," Teague said.
Their shoulders hunch and Ludwig discretely hits his friend.
"I'm afraid none of us remember this, uh, what's your name, I don't think you've said," Ludwig says, trying to figure out how to handle this.
"Teagan." Their expression is firm, as if expecting an argument.
"Picked it, huh?"
They nod.
"Me too, it's a good name."
Teagan the child blinks.
"Wait, you're Teagan? You're meaner than I was led to believe."
The man gapes.
"Wh– who said I was nice? I'm not nice!"
"You're not mean though, so it's not – oh, Gehrman, come here!"
Teagan's head whips around so fast the hunters swear something cracks. Gehrman looks tired and wary as he and Laurence approach.
"Ludwig, you can't bring random children with us."
"Where are this one's parents?" Laurence isn't even surprised Ludwig found a child, they tend to swarm him.
"I'm not going back to Orilon. If I have to go back there, I'm killing someone and probably burning a church down," the vehemence in Teagan's voice takes the adults off-guard.
"Okay! Not bringing you there ever!" Ludwig says cheerfully.
Teague snorts.
"It really wouldn't be hard to keep you from burning a church down, you're what, seven?"
"I'm not seven."
"A very tall three year old," Gehrman said.
Ludwig openly hits Gehrman on the arm.
"Do not antagonize a child, Gehrman. Their name is Teagan and they were found unconscious in the woods."
Teague ignores Ludwig.
"All we'd have to do is lock the doors."
"That wouldn't work, I know how to get into sealed areas."
"How, magic?" Teague believes in treating children like small adults, if they can understand what's happening then they deserve to know. He knows there are limits to what children should be exposed to but he won't lie to them. Unfortunately, this sometimes leads to him mocking children like he would adults.
Teagan just looks unimpressed.
"No, that's stupid. Old fashioned breaking and entering."
"Wait."
They glance at Gehrman, gauging his reaction.
"No."
They roll their eyes. "Yes," Teagan hops off their chair, staring up at him expectantly. "What took you so long, old man?"
There's a long silence as the two stare at each other.
"Excuse us for a minute," he picks up Teagan.
Surprisingly, they don't immediately try and claw their way out like Ludwig expected, they actually seem almost content. Then it disappears and Teagan starts demanding to be put down. Gehrman does not.
The two exit the building, threats of biting left behind.
"So, that was weird to you guys too, right?"
"Where did you find this child?" asks a bewildered Laurence.
"I think..."
"This is either going to be wildly entertaining or he's going to try and adopt the kid." Teague dodges Ludwig this time.
"I think Teagan, child Teagan, is Gehrman's child."
Teague starts laughing. "Ludwig, Ludwig, look at me, look–" he puts his hands on both sides of Ludwig's face. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you think Gehrman, who can barely hold a civil conversation with most people, has ever once in his life slept with anyone."
"While I hate to agree with what Teague is saying, unfortunately, I find it highly unlikely Gehrman has a child," Laurence ignores Teague flipping him off.
Ludwig bats his hands away. "Look, I'm just saying, Teagan clearly recognized him, Gehrman seemed to know them. Their name!" he points at Teague. "They said they chose their name and they knew about you."
"Gehrman knows if he named a child after me, I'd kill him."
"They did say they chose their name," Maria points out. "I am not agreeing with Ludwig, I'm merely pointing that out."
"They also knew our names!"
"They also claimed they fought you, Maria and Laurence, and died fighting Maria multiple times."
"Wait, what? Explain," Laurence goes from amused to concerned.
"They said they liked Ludwig better this way, that he was very sad and tired before and tried to eat them," Maria cuts in before Teague can call the child mad.
"Yeah, apparently you were easier though, you couldn't talk, just tried to eat and burn them. Shame on you guys, attacking children."
He laughs when Ludwig hits him again.
#potato writes fic#bloodborne fic#AGAIN THIS IS A COMEDY STORY#ANY OOC IS PART OF THE ABSURDITY#that being said feedback would be nice i guess but this is still rough draft 1#ch: teagan the hunter#fic: old man hunter and his eldritch child#potatoes finished fics#well its only a bit and i've definitely edited it since posting this but w/e
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Uphold - LotCF & transported! Reader
a/n: idk what came over me but when i got my senses back a whole day has passed and I've written 12 pages
Warnings: might be ooc, male reader, use of prince for reader (like how in some they call the duke's children prince/princess yeah like that), there's romantic feelings involved but it wasn't that touched upon, i might've messed up the timelines, novel spoilers (but i think they were quite vague), if you hate soft characters then reader is not for you, bit of angst, death, Alberu and Cale focused
English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors
Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission
If there's something missing in the warnings let me know so I can add it
Any form of interaction toward the post is appreciated <333
Navigation
Masterlist
‘It hurts’
Red. All you can see was red.
Was it your blood? Was it someone else's? You have no idea.
Dying. You know you're dying.
This war has been going on for too long. Too many have been lost. Your family, friends, acquaintances. Almost all of them are gone.
Except for one
Cale Henituse
He's the only one left in your life, and you’re the only one left in his.
And now you’re dying. About to leave him.
‘Ah till the end I haven’t said my feelings’
Maybe it was for the best. You aren’t quite sure yourself. All your brain can register is the stinging pain in your chest along with the pounding that just keeps on getting worse.
Red. Everything was red. Still you can make out the silver armor with a bit of red hair sticking out.
You try to weakly reach out your hand towards the blurry figure you know too well. Not sure whether you’re reaching the right place. In spite of that you still reach out, hoping to at least feel his warmth for the last time.
“...I …I’m so rry”
Tears were probably flowing out from your eyes. You weren’t quite sure from all the blood on you but it felt like you were crying.
‘I’m sorry for leaving you alone’
‘I’m sorry for not telling you my true feelings’
‘I’m sorry for even harboring this feelings’
’Just for everything, I’m sorry’
Sadly you don’t have the energy to even speak those words.
Aside from that you believe you have no other regrets. You tried your best with the war. Try your best to uphold your family name. Protect the country, the world.
“Don’t, don’t talk. Save your energy help will come soon. Your crown prince hyung is on his way”
Were there tears flowing down from his face? You weren’t sure. At this point even your hearing was fuzzy.
It was too late to be saved and both of you knew that.
“D on’t le ave, plea se. Just ..just stay w ith me till the en d”
“Okay okay, I’m here I won’t leave you. Your other hyung is nearby too, just hang on.”
Frail, bloody hands gripped strong, shaky ones. For the last moments of your life you just want to be at peace and spend time with your childhood friends. Something you haven’t gotten the chance to do ever since the war started. You think the times you’ve seen your crown prince hyung’s face can be counted on one hand.
“I’m here, your other hyung is here. I’ve also called a healer.”
You didn’t manage to catch his next words clearly. But you can understand that it’s him apologizing that he can’t use the star of healing on you. You’re aware that it’s no one’s fault. He used the star of healing earlier and it wasn’t a waste so that’s good with you.
Black spots fill your sight and your hearing becomes more fuzzy. Your grip on Cale’s hands was getting weaker and weaker.
“Hyu ng …Alberu hyung. Ple ase ta ke care of the king dom.”
‘I’m sorry I can’t continue to take care of it with you.’
You know you’re time was almost up
You have a lot of regrets but you know it’s no use mulling over them now
But still. Before you pass, maybe you can say it softly.
Before you rest eternally
Before you depart forever
“I ..I love you”
‘So much that leaving you hurts more than dying’
Not sure how you managed to say those three words coherently. You were glad to be able to convey your feelings at the last moment.
With that, the black spots have fully dominated your sight and the world seemed so quiet and peaceful.
‘I died…’
‘I’m sure I died’
Waking up with a slight jolt you see yourself inside your room. Specifically, you’re inside your room at the Henituse state.
“Is something the matter young master?”
Ron was standing by your bedside with a tray of tea and your favorite sweets. He looked like a concerned old man. But you know better after finding out his an assassin.
“... oh.. Um Ron, what’s the date?”
Confusion and dread filled your entire being. Sure you have a room at the Henituse territory as you seem to practically live there, but you haven’t been at this place since the war broke out. That and you were sure Ron left the Henituse family a few years ago.
“...The 29th day of the 3rd month in the 781st year of the felix calendar. Is there a problem, young master? You seem to be sweating.”
If it was Cale it could be passed as him being drunk. That wasn’t the case with you though. You were always the rational one between the two of you. The one reeling the problematic young master and preventing him from doing great damage. So of course if you’re the one asking people are bound to be concerned.
“I.. I had a nightmare. Please get me something refreshing to drink. Ah, but leave the tea.”
Being the ever attentive butler Ron is, he already has a towel ready and was wiping the bullets of sweat that has gathered on your wake after getting your permission. He also already told someone to prepare your bath and get a drink from the kitchen.
You just let everything happen in a daze. You weren’t sure what happened or what’s going on as the servants helped you bathe. But you were sure that time turned back.
It turned back a day before Cale met the soon-to-be renowned swordsman, Choi Han.
The ever capable butler Ron observed as the other servants attended to you. It has been almost an hour since you woke up but you still seem to be out of it. He was sure that nothing happened yesterday as he personally watched his two puppy young masters.
For some reason though, two cute puppies are suddenly acting strange.
Well it might really just be a nightmare but Ron was still suspicious.
“Young master Cale will be dining with everyone for breakfast. Shall you do the same?”
“Huh? Oh? Cale at the breakfast table? Sure I’ll go too”
“I shall make preparations then.”
The old man was still concerned yet he still followed orders and started preparing so the duke’s son could join breakfast.
‘Something’s weird’
‘That’s not Cale’
Yes it’s Cale but at the same time it’s not. As if someone took over his body. No one else seemed to notice it so you kept quiet.
As you ponder on how that could be possible you remembered something.
“Young master, I don’t have much left in this world so I have to tell you something.”
“Auntie Jour please don’t say that. Cale will be sad.”
“I know, that’s why I need you to take care of him when I’m gone. Both of your souls are special, that’s why you have to remember that even if one day you wake up and Cale doesn’t seem to be our Cale you still should take care of that Cale.”
“But if it’s not our Cale then why should I help him?”
“Because it’s probably our Cale’s plan. I know I may sound odd to you right now, but I believe that you’re a bright child. Everything will make sense in due time.”
Not long after that the news of Jour’s death reached your ears. It was also the start of your best friend acting like trash after the count brought home a new family.
You knew that every action Cale takes has a meaning behind it. Years of knowing each other and having each other’s back solidified the trust the two of you have.
And that trust is exactly what you’ll believe in. Trust and the late Countess Jour’s words.
Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice a forehead coming in contact with yours.
“You seem to be sick, you should’ve stayed in bed.”
“I didn’t know.. I’ll do better next time”
Excusing yourself from the dining room, you tried to make your exit and go back to your room. Your legs seem to have other plans as not even 5 steps in it gave up on you.
Thankfully, Cale has quick reflexes and managed to catch you in time.
‘Stupid weak body, stupid regressing thingy’
Embarrassed, you wanted for the ground to swallow you whole. You didn’t even know this guy and you already showed your stupid side within the first hour of meeting him!
“You know your body was weak, why did you even bother?”
“Ehehe I’m sorry hyung.”
“Haizz, just make sure to rest. We’ll inform the duchy about your condition.”
Giving him a toothy grin, you got out of his embrace as a maid came to help you go back to your room. No matter how shameful that incident is on your end, you got to know that the new Cale seems to know quite a bit about this world. But it’s not enough as his etiquette is lacking. You would probably need to help him with that.
Your Cale might be trash but you know he still has class.
Unfortunately your plans were put off as you were in and out of consciousness. Regressing seems to take a lot of toll from your already weak body. Well, for you this is better than war.
Even though you were mostly in charge of tactics, there were still times you had to go out to the battlefield yourself as your forces were too little compared to the White Star’s forces.
‘-10/10 wouldn’t recommend it. I especially hated how I always get a fever after a month of fighting.’
You get chills just by thinking about it. Ron, the one Cale assigned to take care of sick you, seems to have misunderstood and thought that your cold is getting worse.
“Oh no, the young master seems to be shivering. Get a new blanket while I change the basin water. Also ask Beacrox to prepare soup for him to eat.”
Contrarily, you actually felt hot. Not that you’re in any condition to talk so you just let them do your thing as you lost your consciousness for the nth time.
Thus you spent a few days like that. By the time you got better to the point where you can play again Cale seem to have a new companion.
“...This poor dongsaeng got sick for a few days and you already found someone to replace him huh?”
Surprisingly there wasn’t a scar on your friend's ‘beloved face’ as he calls it, even after meeting Choi Han. Instead, the man you know as the youngest swordmaster seems to be following Cale like a stray kitten waiting to be adopted.
Meanwhile Cale Henituse didn’t even hide his done everything with expression as you circle Choi Han. The count’s eldest son just sighed at the two of you, not even giving you a proper response as he opted to drink tea instead.
“Hey you! Why are you slouching huh? Sit up straight and hold your cup properly! Wipe that stain on the corner of your lip too. I know you can feel it. Aish this hyung, how many times do I have to nag you about your manners! You didn’t even offer me tea like how a true gentleman is supposed to do! You may be trash but I won’t let you devolve into a full on barbarian and forget your manners!”
Needless to say, the part that implies you always nag about these things are lies. Original Cale didn’t need to be reminded of any of these things as he was naturally refined. Not the same can be said about the man in front of you though so you can only make up the excuse of nagging to try and teach him.
Luckily, even though Cale showed you an annoyed expression he still did as you said. His willingness to absorb every word you say makes you think that this will be easy. Even though he was muttering about how your choice of words weren’t formal in the slightest bit.
“NO I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE HUHU THIS ISN’T EASY AT ALL, TAKE ME BACK! I SAID TAKE ME BACK”
“Young master please don’t push yourself too much. Our young master Cale will worry if you get sick again.”
“No.. just give me a few more minutes to finalize this. Cale and the others are working with no rest. I have to do the same and catch up.”
Many things happened while you were with this new Cale. The past that you knew was completely rewritten by him and everything was going well thanks to that.
You also did your best to help subtly. He doesn’t know that you regressed nor does he know that you know he's a transmigrator so you can’t just present yourself and tell him you also know what happens in the future. Additionally, his knowledge about ancient powers and races seem to exceed your own.
Still, that didn’t stop you from giving him hints about things he didn’t seem to know and guiding him. Especially when it comes to formality and people that your Cale knew personally.
Fortunately those formalities aren’t needed that much any more since you’re currently in the middle of war and not only did the Henituse household become a duchy. Their eldest son, Cale Henituse, also formally became the crown prince’s sworn brother.
Throughout all this you have been balancing your responsibilities as the youngest son of your duchy and helping Cale and his group out. Sure it was taxing and no one, not even yourself, knew how you managed to do all that work but it was very rewarding. As time passes on you slowly understand why the original Cale left this world in this new Cale’s hands.
‘Thankfully I didn't develop feelings for him. Once was enough. Two times is cringey’
One of your worries when you first regressed was the fact that you might develop feelings for Cale since he and your Cale act so much alike. As time passes though, you only seem to see him as a dependable but always annoyed older brother figure. Sure you miss the Cale that you know and you know to yourself that you still love him.
But it’s because of that love that you respect and understand his decision. It’s because of that love that you willingly helped this new person Cale left without hesitation and no expectations of a payment except for the betterment of the world.
Additionally, the people Cale gathered are good people too. Everyone’s friendly and are willing to help you to the best of their abilities. So all is well and good.
“Ron told me you wouldn’t budge so I came to get you myself.”
Sharp, reddish-brown eyes came into view as his hands took away the document containing your messy writing. His tone was nonchalant as usual but concern within those irises can be seen clearly.
“I’m sorry hyung. I got carried away with making plans for the next attack. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
You cupped his face as if hoping your touch would make him forget just how you neglect yourself.
At first Cale was a bit overwhelmed with the amount of skinship you have to offer. Sure he has read it on Birth of a Hero back at Earth but experiencing it was different.
Cale Henituse’s closest friend who’s 3 years younger than him and the same age as his brother, Bassen Henituse. The kid is always sticking close to him. No matter how dangerous the situation is or how busy the young man seems to be. But even if you’re younger than him, he didn’t feel like he was babysitting you at all.
‘Well the book did say that the two of them stood on equal grounding despite him being younger and despite Cale being the son of a count and him being the son of a duke.’
That doesn’t mean that the prince didn’t act his age. Poor young master Cale is always the subject of the man’s pranks. He is also very touchy. Holding hands or simply grabbing the edge of his clothes when they go out. Clinging close to him at every formal gathering like balls and banquets. Whining and getting jealous whenever he sees Alberu pay more attention Cale or Cale pay more attention to Alberu.
“I have no other friends aside from you two, and you guys didn’t even become friends for that long! I was friends with the two of you first so have to pay more attention to me and not leave me out!”
You would say whenever Alberu deliberately ignores you just to see your cute cheeks puff up in jealousy. Despite your pure and childish antics, there were times where Cale was amazed at your abilities. To the point of almost suspecting you.
Sure he has read about how smart and hands on you are at everything. But that can’t explain the times that your deduction of the enemies moves are scarily accurate as it was one on one. Also for someone who was raised with a diamond spoon you seem to know a lot about wars, especially strategizing for one. As if you have experience in doing that sort of stuff.
“...Are you still angry? I said I was sorry. I’ll take care of myself better. Please don’t tattle on Alberu hyung.”
“I wasn’t even thinking about it but thanks for the idea. I have a meeting with him after dinner. I'm sure he’ll be happy to hear from you.”
“No! Hyung! I said I was sorry, please! He’ll make me stay with aunt Tasha again, hyuk!”
Desperately grabbing at the redhead eating steak, you tried your best to beg him to change his mind. Regardless of the big possibility of getting scolded by Alberu, and most likely your family as he will for sure tell them, you still can’t help but laugh. During your first life when the war broke out there were little to no mundae moments like this as everyone was always on edge.
‘It’ll be nice if things stay like this forever’
Perhaps you jinxed yourself when you softly spoke to yourself about your hopes and dreams of maintaining the relationship you currently have with your hyungs and Choi Han. Because it seems as if that won’t be possible since the universe was never on your side.
Clammy hands fidgeted and tried to find a pen and paper it could scribble on. The three men and the one baby dragon in the room know that that’s your nervous reaction. Even if it wasn't, anxiety was audibly written on your face.
“Don’t be nervous, we just want to clear some things up with you.”
Hands scribbling on the pen and paper Choi Han gave you with all of your attention focused on them. You wanted to retaliate that opening the conversation by mentioning the original Cale didn’t help with your uneasiness. But you didn’t think you’re in the position to talk so you settled on scribbling more, unintentionally letting some of your inner thoughts out on the poor paper.
“Instructor is right, we aren’t angry, okay? It’s just that Cale said that the God of Death told him something that we need to confirm with you.”
Alberu tried to speak as softly as he could. He knew that you weren’t great with confrontation since the two of you were kids. You always tried to have someone that can speak up for you in case you have the tendency to clam up when questioned. But that isn’t possible right now. You’re the only one who can confirm the god’s words and answer their questions.
“That imbecile god told me and I quote
[If you have more questions about White Star and his forces it’ll be best to ask that young duke kid with you. Oh and take care of him or else the Kim Rok Soo now will have both of our heads]
That heavily implies multiple things. I’m sure I don’t need to explain each one to you, you’re a smart kid.”
It felt as though you’ve been caught red handed. Cale was right he didn’t need to explain further for you already know what the god was talking about.
Scared as you were, that didn’t stop you from explaining your situation to them. From Cale’s mother’s words to you regressing and confirming that Cale isn’t Cale through the few and rare books about regressors and transmigrators.
Furthermore for the first time since time was turned back, you finally confined just how hard your first life was. How hard it was to experience dying. The pain on your abdomen that you swear you can still feel sometimes. How you still caress the spot where you were brutally stabbed by Sayeru, the bear tribe king. For the first time in a long while you were completely vulnerable. All the tears and pain that have been holding themselves back finally let themselves out as you hug Raon as if he was a stuffed toy.
“Human, the little prince fell asleep.”
Red, swollen eyes with cheeks marred dried tears, your sleeping face resembles a poor child. Despite your arms being loose now, the balck dragon didn’t make a move to get out of your hold. On the contrary he tightens his hug as an offering to comfort you in your sleep.
“Dongsaeng, please continue taking care of him. We all know that he is a smart but fragile child. Even if he knows you aren’t the original Cale Henituse he definitely looked up to you like you're his older brother.”
“Haaa… Who do you think took care of that kid for the past two years since he got permission to tag along with me.”
Their conversation ended when Choi Han picked up the sleeping figure along with the dragon who refuses to let go so he can place them in a proper bed. Before the three of them left to further talk about business Cale and Alberu didn’t forget to advise their people to not let the man work until further notice.
“So that’s what you look like? Is that how my hyung looks too? Wow hyung you’re quite the looker yourself!”
The people inside the cintamani, especially Kim Rok Soo, were speechless as you gushed about them upon seeing them the first time.
“Yes yes now shut up and focus on your work. If you don’t finish filling those documents on time the duke said he’ll personally come to take you home.”
“Rok Soo hyung, are you seeing how your other self treats me? His so mean”
“He sounds right though, you have to finish the work unless you want to suffer the consequences.”
“Rok Soo will be Rok Soo”
Pouting, you went over your desk with Raon to finish the work assigned to you. Your family has been lenient on you with the paperwork as of late. They know just how hard the work you're doing with the crown prince and the young commander’s group. But they didn’t want you to forget how to handle territory affairs so they still assign you a bit of paperwork here and there.
You know that they’re doing it out of concern for you. You even understand where they’re coming from. Still, that doesn’t stop you from whining and kicking whenever you see your personal assistant enter the room with paperwork from the duchy.
In no time paperwork was ceased, your aide who used to hold a pen went back to holding a sword.
“My prince, I’m a knight first and foremost, therefore your safety is my priority. Playing assistant was just like a part time ”
Those were the words of comfort your kneeling knight told you while preparing for the Puzzle City war.
The whole thing was like the roller coaster on earth Rok Soo told you about. One moment things were looking good for your group, then the next moment someone on your side will become heavily injured. You tried to go to the front lines too but your gravely injured commander, Cale who’s suffering from his plate being broken for the second time, stopped you. Even though he didn’t manage to get his intentions out, you fully understood his unspoken words.
Raon is most likely the one who’s going to take over his work. The dragon is capable, great and mighty as he calls himself, but he was also used to being on the front lines. That’s where you step in, so that Raon can keep a clear head and keep the flow of communication smooth running. You have to be there as the second brain and back him up.
Like that, your side held out while Cale was recovering.
Events that happen after seem like a fever dream to you. Your hyungs and just everyone in your group seemed to be more unhinged than usual. Well they have been more unhinged since your Alberu hyung got his hands on a gun.
But thanks to those unhinged plans and crazy actions, everyone got past the hurdles that came your way. No matter how hard the Sealed God and White Star’s forces tried, you always outsmart them.
“Don’t, don’t speak. Just let me have this moment.”
You speak against the sturdy chest of your hyung who now goes by the name Kim Rok Soo. Partly it was because you were too embarrassed at the thought he’ll bring up your confession. At the same time you really just want to have a few moments of silence and embrace the hyung you haven’t seen for so long.
“Yes yes I won’t speak”
“You’re still speakingggg”
His laugh vibrated in his chest making you, the one holding onto him, feel ticklish. He might look different, sound different but you know that he's still your best friend. Your first and last love in both lives.
No matter how annoyed you are with the God of Death and his shenanigans, you’re glad that he gave you this chance. The chance to see your best friend again, even if it was possibly for the last time.
Silently, you listened as the two men spoke to each other. As you listened you were also enlightened as to what happened. How Cale and Rok Soo exchanged positions. The deal made with God of Death. Why Cale- you guess he goes by Rok Soo now, chose to go and live on earth.
“It’s time to go back.”
Hellos always ended with goodbyes, and this meeting was no different. You wished you could spend more time here. There are still a lot of things you want to say. Stories you want to share. But that’s selfish and you know it.
“Hopefully we can maybe meet in our next lives. Then perhaps we can straighten things out between us then.”
Rok Soo whispered softly as he kissed your forehead goodbye. Too stunned to speak, you could only hold your forehead while running back to Cale red faced.
“That explains why you were so willing to go with his plans even when he left without an explanation.”
“Shut up! Shut up! It’s not like that!”
#Spotify#trash of the count's family#lout of the count’s family#tcf#cale henituse#lcf#alberu crossman#lotcf#totcf#choi han#raon miru#tcf x reader#lcf x reader#tcf fic#lcf fic
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
Did you even...? (ANGST)
♡ Prisoner!c!Dream x GN!Reader, (Mention of past poly!dream team x reader)
♡ Summary: You pay an old friend a visit. You just need to get something off your chest.
This place seemed to be even creepier on the inside than on the outside and stepping foot into the prison gave you immediate chills. You look over to Sam, who strides through the hall with no issue at all. Well, that does make sense, he did build the place after all. He knew the prison like the back of his hand.
He gives you a quick glance before breaking the silence and asking,
"You sure you wanna do this?"
"If I don't do it now, I'll never do it. Might as well take advantage of the situation while it's safe, right?"
He doesn't say anything in response, and while it does leave a slightly awkward tension in the air, you think it's for the best.
After going through the countless safety measures, you finally make it to the bridge.
"Stand back, let the lava wall fall first."
You nod, feeling your chest starting to tighten up from how nervous you're feeling. As the wall falls, you can see a cell in the distance, and in that cell, a very familiar figure.
You start to feel hesitant when you see him and soon you start to rethink your decision as well.
"I-"
"Last chance, (Y/n). Do you want to do this?" Sam asks, his voice now firmer than before. "I won't be able to follow you, but just know that he won't be able to harm you in there."
You take a deep breath and remind yourself once again, now or never. Do it while he can't properly hurt you, while he can't manipulate you, while you still want to give him a piece of your mind. If you don't let it out now you'll regret never taking this chance.
"Y-yeah, I want this. I have to do this."
Sam doesn't say anything else and turns his attention to the many switches on the wall. "Stand on the bridge and hold onto the railings tight. The moment the bridge connects to the cell hop off quick."
You nod and step onto the bridge.
Upon seeing that it truly is you, Dream is quick to walk towards you but the netherite wall stops him from getting too close too soon. You were here, actually here, visiting him. He hasn't see you in ages, not since he left you three and you still look so-
"Dream?"
...you still look so lovely.
Despite his blank look, he seems dead tired and for the first time in a long while, you actually feel sympathetic towards him, but that doesn't mean you were going to go easy on him. No, it's going to take a while before you find yourself comforting him. Though, despite what you tell yourself you still have to hold back from holding him like you used to do.
As the lava falls back down, along with the netherite wall, you let yourself step over that line, approaching closer towards him and he does the same too.
"(Y/n)."
You let out a sigh, a hand covering your face as you try to get your emotions in check. So many things to say but the dull ache you feel is a reminder that you have so little time, but you do know what to start off with. With a deep breath you finally say what you've been dying to tell him,
"You absolute fucking asshole."
You can't help the venom that seep into your voice as you utter those words and Dream can feel his heart break a little as you use that tone with him. This wasn't your usual teasing insults anymore, you were furious and your voice more than shows it.
"All of this, and for what, Dream?" You ask him.
'For power, for absolute control,' a part of him thinks to himself, but he can't find the courage to say it to you. He can't make things worse than it already is.
"I'm sure Sapnap told you, he never could keep his feelings to himself," the way he so casually says it makes you want to slap his mask right off. If only he was there to hear Sapnap claim that Dream never cared about them, how devastating it was to hear those words.
"You're a selfish prick,"
He is, isn't he?
"Such a greedy motherfucker,"
He's come to terms with that a long time ago.
"...An absolute heartbreaking bitch."
...He didn't expect to fall this hard, (Y/n), he didn't know he'd fall in love too.
Tears start to fall as everything grows to be too much from all the sorror and frustration you're letting out with each word you say. You try your best to wipe them away but it's no use. It just hurts. You wish George and Sapnap were here to comfort you, to hug you, but they weren't and you aren't going to simply hug the monster in front of you no matter how much you want to. As much as it hurts you can't find it in you to stop talking just yet though.
"Was what we all had just a joke to you?" You manage to sob out.
He stiffens a bit as his thoughts race. Inside he's begging you to stop, to please don't ask him that question.
"Was it fun? Y'know- stringing me, Sapnap and George along, saying such loving words. Sharing all those gentle kisses and late night giggles. Were those moments just fake to you?"
(Y/n) please.
"Dream,"
What can he say, what do you want him to say? Please, (Y/n) he doesn't know what to say-
"Did you even fucking love us?"
'Yes,' something inside of him screams, the part inside of him that he tried desperately to ignore ever since he left you three. He wants to shout out his answer, wants to hold you close and never let go, but he can't, because he knows damn well he doesn't deserve it and it kills him everytime he thinks about it. He doesn't deserve you and them.
His silence and blank stare breaks your heart, but at the same time, it also... relieves you, to know that you don't have to cling to any false hope. To know that you can just let go knowing nothing between you four were ever real to him.
You let out a hiccup and a shuddering sigh. Unclenching the fists you never knew you were clenching to begin with. You have so much to say, but you think you've finally reached your limit, so you focus on calming yourself, starting to feel foolish for losing it in front of him.
Silence between you two filled the room, with you looking down at the floor refusing to even glance at him and Dream not moving from where he stands, his thoughts fighting with one another as he thinks about what he should do or say.
Before Dream can open his mouth he sees you starting to sway a little bit. You feel yourself starting to grow weaker as your sobbing slowly stops and the dull ache from before is becoming unbearable, and that's when you realize the potion was still in effect. Your time was running out, you have to leave soon.
You accept whats coming, you said your piece, and even though you still feel like shit, a slight weight has been lifted off your chest . You got to meet him, and finally got to say what you wanted, face to face. You feel satisfied, at least for now.
"(Y/n)," his voice starts to sound like a distant echo as your head starts to throb.
"Don't... please don't say anything...," you feel the room start to spin and you're slowly losing your balance.
"(Y/n), please listen-"
"...I can't Dream. I can't-," and with that, you feel your heart stop and see the world around you turn black for just a moment before you wake up on the bed Sam had told you to set your spawn at. Your head is in a daze as you look around to check your surroundings. At that moment, it all felt so surreal, but you knew better than to think it was fake.
"...Fuck," you literally can't find anything else to say, feeling speechless and a little emotional.
"Feel better?" Sam asks as he walks over to check you over.
"Yeah, I think so..." a ping can be heard as your communicator goes off and it's from Sapnap.
You told him you'd be visiting the prison a few hours before but you weren't expecting him to come and pick you up, he even brought Quackity and Karl with him too. It's a pleasant surprise after that whole situation at least.
"Best not to keep them waiting, (Y/n)."
You let out a final hiccup before laughing softly, wiping away the remaining tears from your face.
"Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Sam."
(Bonus!)
Before your souless body can hit the floor, Dream is quick to catch it and hold it as it starts to slowly fade. He starts to feel some of the tears he's been holding back fall and he doesn't bother to stop them. Instead, he just hugs your body closer to him. It doesn't feel the same with how cold and light it feels, but it's better than nothing.
As your body slowly starts to dissapear, he can't help but whisper out a string of apologies to it, pretending like you three can hear his voice.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."
But no matter how hard he pleads, no voices answer back, only the soft flowing of lava and his screaming throughts return to be his only company.
Notes: Hello! Thank you so much for reading this if you did! I haven't written fanfic in ages so I may be hella hecking rusty. I'm also really sorry if this is beyond ooc and dramatic! I'll try to get better as time goes on!
(Requests are open and anon is on!)
472 notes
·
View notes
Text
doip.: session.. 3?? / 8.30.21
oh shit i cant hear the recap music bc of my fucking headset
I FORGOT WE STOLE(?) A BARREL CRAB
LAST TIME ON DRAGONS OF ICESPIRE PEAK: we killed the shapechanger and stole(?) a barrel crab!
michael: i feel like we have to use the barrel crab now, because the announcer guy included it in the recap
jorb: the announcer guy.
michael: i don't know his name!
notes may be sparse bc im doodling alidaar while listening to the others talk
we have given the funny little animal arson powers
time to go to the dwarven excavation! also i finished doodling so im listening now
"i'm going to roll perception to see if some shit is up-- ahaahaa. aaahahaeehahaahaa . aaa"
michael to the rescue! with a better explanation of what he's trying to look for (if anythings been raided or messed up) and also a better roll in general
are the wyatts still arguing about horses?
(no! somehow.)
nyx: are you trying to perceive
jorb: are you trying to use your eyes, sir?
dwarven excavation has a big ol temple! which has dwarven statues out front that have "evil grins" or smth. so, uh, this is fine
michael: i dont think i trust those stone piles, they look like theyre drawn on an animation frame.
it has been 4 sessions and nyx's character still doesnt have a name btw
nyx: i am the most stealthy binturong that has ever existed, i am squeaking out loud, i am throwing rocks everywhere
nyx being a Funny Little Animal is so good bc even tho his stealth check sucked, the dwarves he's stalking just ignored him bc it's a lil binturong vibing on some rocks
every day im shufflin'
(jorb shuffling tokens around trying to remember which npc is which)
nyx: [coughing]
leo: ..is nyx dying?
jorb: no - wait no i thought that was part of the ambience but yeah that's nyx dying
dwarves :>
alidaar is fun. snarky bastard. pronouns aren't real
temple has an infestation of goops!
michael: hold on let me cast a spell on myself before i recall high school physics
alidaar: i'm gonna be real i'm just here for violence and p much nothin else, sooooo
alidaar: alriiiight! venture forth, fuckos!
oh hey ali has darkvision. apparently that's a house rule thing bc for some reason dragonborn?? don't have darkvision???? normally??????? ty based jorb
leo, as alidaar: i've just discovered i have darkvision! i've never been in a dark room in my entire life!
michael: alidaar scratching the side of his head like "what does this little switch do?" click. "oh my god i have darkvision!"
jorb: you're checking out the ceiling, huh?
leo: y.. ye a ...
uh oh, oozes!
leo: i'm.. going to back away.
jorb: that's probably a good idea.
leo: i'm going to knock on the wall [over by tobias] and go "hey uh, i found a problem. i found TWO problems."
having a group huddle!
WHOOPS I FORGOT TO EQUIP MY RUNES good thing i figured that out right before combat started lmao. alidaar's a rune knight now!
leo: [checking something]
jorb: [@ nyx] ..you now have an initiative of 23.
leo: w
PEPPER'S HERE
distracted from d&d by cat
LITTLE GUY HAS DEPLOYED AN ORBITAL LASER
(moonbeam)
lmao the jelly walked right into it bc. int of 2-- WHOA guiding bolt op
one jelly down! -AH BEANS im getting owned
whap
woo, combat done! i was the only one that got hit lmao
nawball is talking abt eating grass.
alidaar found a secret door! while both tobias and nameless failed lmao
man i keep not taking good notes bc its mainly us fighting stuff and then exploring around. which is fun! but not interesting to take notes of asides from funny quips
remember how i said the wyatts werent arguing abt horses? i was wrong
HELP I'M INSIDE A WALL
AH FUCK NOTHER JELLY
I'M GOING TO PARKOUR OVER THE JELLY. LET'S GOOOOOOOOO
I'VE GOT A PLUS SIX TO ATHLETICS LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO
i lost like half my hp and fell over prone but IT WAS WORTH IT
NOT WORTH IT NOT WORTH IT NOT WORTH IT
WOW. THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.
SOMEHOW THIS LET ME ESCAPE BC THE JELLY SUCKS THATM UCH
jorb: ..okay, because its a 1, im gonna say youre prone again
leo: GODAMNIT
jorb: do you want to spend half of your movement to get up? you don't have anywhere to go--
leo: LET ME UP. I WANT TO STAND UP
jorb: okay! whatre you gonna do now-
leo: VIOLENCE. I WANT TO KILL [rolls to attack]
jorb: how do you wanna do this?
leo: i am going to fucking splatter this jelly like jam on toast.
I KEEP GETTING STUCK IN THE WALL
little guy is putting on a cool necklace they found in a strange tomb! This Is Fine
rubbing my face on a pillar to investigate it
leo: [rolls a 5] i go up to the pillar, and i put my face against it, and i just.. stand there leaning on it with my face smooshed on it
leo: i'm gonna keep rubbing my face on it [rolls a 10]
jorb: your face hurts a little bit.
npc: hey, uh, whatre you doing over there?
alidaar: my best.
tobias: alidaar, did you find anything?
alidaar: i found a pillar.
leo: okay, naptime. i fall asleep where im standing - im leaning on the pillar, face smushed against it, and i fall asleep standing there
oh shit, orcs
these are the like. generic angy orcs. which is a shame but eh at least i ooc get to feel less guilt about ic alidaar going off the shits in 0.5 seconds
surprise round! tobias bisected the first orc and alidaar's breath weapon nearly knocked out the other two. in the surprise round. man i love alidaar's breath weapon
WOW. LITTLE GUY JUST DID A CRITICAL HIT. I FEEL BAD FOR THESE GUYS
leo: i feel kinda bad for these orcs!
michael: they probably eat babies its fine
michael: i'm going to go full todoroki on this ass [...] yes i had to google to make sure i was getting the name right
all the orcs are just. Obliterated. OH MY GOD THEY DIDNT GET A TURN. THEY DIDNT GET A SINGLE HIT IN WE JUST ANNIHILATED ALL OF THEM
michael: ..are we the baddies?
potg: michael sniping an orc in half
10 notes
·
View notes
Conversation
DM: The next day, or possibly that night, you move the enchantment, you burn the bag. Someone informs Tark, Carver basically says 'Hey, we're not going to be taking any jobs. You five are not going to be taking any jobs for a couple days. We're gonna give you a week off at least. We'll figure out what we're doing.' Rhistel is informed. And it is somber for the next three, four days as you guys start to adjust to this. The next morning though, I will say, early that morning as sort of the kerfuffle is dying down, I don't think any of you are sleeping, Rosaline comes by to see what is going on because everything is a little weird that morning.
Eudora (OOC): *covering face*
DM: Kind of sees everyone in the parlour, Rhistel has been informed and everyone is sort of sitting with tea offered if you guys want any. Alinac made it and has been up with you all night.
Moriarty: I will not be wearing the glasses when Rosaline's in.
DM: Okay. I also don't think Tark is told right away. I think Carver says, 'I'm just gonna tell him we have the week off and I'm gonna talk to him personally.' 'cause this is now 'what the fuck do we do about this?' So I think Carver goes to find Tark actually that night and tell him and inform Tark what's going on. The rest of you are sitting in the parlour, Alinac has served you tea, Rhistel is sort of staring out the window and Rosaline comes down 'cause at this point it's morning and sort of walks in and sees all of you sitting there in the states that you're all in.
Rosaline: Long night?
Moriarty: *sighs* Rosaline, could you please sit down.
Rosaline: Okay?
DM: She looks at Rhistel who just sort of nods and she goes and finds a seat.
Rosaline: Where's Nathaniel.
Eudora: Oh darlin'.
Moriarty: He's gone.
Rosaline: What? Where? Where?
Moriarty: He's gone.
Rosaline: Where is he?
Nathaniel (OOC): [in chat] oh noo
Moriarty: We're not sure.
Rosaline: Did he just up and left? What is...
Moriarty: You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Rosaline: Try me. What is happening?
Moriarty: The Bag Man took him.
DM: Hmm, I wonder if Rosaline would know what the fuck that is. She's got an older brother and younger... yeah, she's got siblings, she knows. She stares at you like you have grown three extra heads.
Rosaline: I'm sorry?
Moriarty: Our most recent job; the employees of a robbed store blamed the robbery on the Bag Man. We decided to test the theory and it is true. The Bag Man took Nathaniel.
Rosaline: That's bullshit. *cover's mouth* Sorry, Your Elegance. I'm so sorry.
Moriarty: Rosaline...
Hunt: It's true. We all saw him.
Moriarty: I'm not one to bullshit, Rosaline.
DM: I'd like you to make a persuasion check with advantage 'cause the others are helping. Marigold, by the way, are you here in the parlour with everybody while they're dealing with this bummer or are you...?
Nathaniel (OOC): [in chat] u do still have his glasses?
Moriarty (OOC): Oh yeah, I still have his glasses. I'm just not wearing them right now. I rolled a 19.
DM: 'Kay. She just sort of sits back, kind of trying to take this all in.
Nathaniel (OOC): [in chat] im so sorry roz
Rosaline: okay. I'm going start breakfast.
DM: She will get up and leave the room.
Nathaniel (OOC): [in chat] im sorry you had to tell her. aaaaa
Moriarty: Your Elegance, I would suggest giving her some time off.
Rhistel: I will talk to her. All of you as well, we'll talk. Look at the books and see what we can do. I will have Carver go and speak to your client.
#D&D mischief#Relni campaign#Relni Recap#Relni Chapter 24#we dreaded giving best girl Rosaline this news
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
So if you're comfortable writing for him can I get some Loghain x reader in here? He's an absolute son of a bitch but I care for him anyway
LOGHAIN X READER - A Bastard’s Reprieve
1069 words
TW - mild cursing, references to some of the plot of origins, Loghain being kind of dickish, and as much hurt/comfort as I could figure out for him lmao. And OOC Loghain, I’ve never written him before, so bear with me. Also not beta read
Also, Grammarly is very upset with me because it doesn’t know half of what I was writing, and also its 10pm, and yeah. And I am so sorry for not actually answering the asks in my inbox, I swear I will try to get to them as fast as I can, quarantine has just been kicking my ass with depression, and then I’m also trying to get ready for college since I have to move in. AND I FIGURED OUT THE READ MORE LINK IT ONLY TOOK ME HOW LONG????
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
You knew he was a bastard the moment you’d met him. The infamous Teyrn Loghain, who had fought alongside Maric in the war for Fereldan. A War Hero. Some hero, you thought, watching as he stalked angrily down the hall towards the castle library. You had come with the last of the Grey Wardens for the Landsmeet and knew full well that Alistair was itching at the chance for revenge. He’d deserve whatever he got, after letting the King, his King, his best friend and brother-in-arms’ son, his daughter’s husband, be brutally slaughtered by darkspawn. But still, your Fereldan heart ached at the thought of someone who had fought so hard for this country, dying by the blade of its only heir.
So you followed him.
Found him sitting, slumped over in a chair with his head in his hands as his shoulders heaved. What he had done, the lives he had sacrificed, he knew the blood was on his hands and his hands only. And you were sure that he was aware that Alistair would get his revenge, Duncan would get justice.
Loghain turned at the sound of your footsteps, and he glared at you as you propped your hip on the table beside him. “What do you want?” He practically growled, getting ready to shove off away from the table.
“You look like shit.”
He let out a dry, bark of a laugh, and ran his hand down the side of his face as he sighed heavily. For once, the Hero of River Dane was wearing something other than his usual heavy armor, and he looked smaller without it. He was still a big man, of that there was no doubt, but he looked, worn and tired. In the dim lighting of the library, parchment sprawled out in front of him with a dry quill and a sealed pot of ink, he looked ready to give up. “And I suppose you’ve come to mock me? I am well aware of what your, companion,” he spat, clearly referencing Alistair, “seeks to do. As much as he’d hate to know it, he certainly does act like his father.”
Furrowing your brow, you hopped up onto the table and crossed your arms. “No.” At his withering glare, you continued. “Honest. You were my best friend’s hero growing up, and, I mean, well, I suppose I feel guilty. Because of tomorrow.”
“I am not some Chantry Sister for you to confess your sins to.” Damn, you were starting to regret following him if this was all the conversation you were going to get out of him.
“Never said you were.” You sighed, holding back the urge to roll your eyes. “Look, Loghain, you did some horrible shit, not going to deny that. You’ve also had to deal with the weight of helping Anora and Cailan rule Fereldan. I’m not here to rub in the fact that there’s a high chance of you dying tomorrow.”
“You just did.”
“Not the point.” This time you did roll your eyes. “I just wanted to say that I hope you don’t die. And that, I’m sorry you had to go through everything and got manipulated by Howe. Lissa told me what he did, the right prick, and I know he fucked you over too.”
Loghain leaned back into the chair, dark and weary eyes looking up at you as you spoke. His lips were pulled tight into a frown, and the part of you that you were trying to tamp down wanted to reach forward and run your fingers across the wrinkles that formed on his forehead. “What are you playing at?”
“Not going to lie, I wanted to see how you were. You’ve been through some rough shit, and are bound to go through more. You may technically be my enemy according to, well, everyone, but it doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone.”
He snorted, raising one eyebrow and looking at you in a way that made your breath catch in your throat. The man before you paused, seemingly waiting for you to continue, but when you didn’t elaborate, he took that as a cue to stand. He moved towards the far end of the library, and it was then you noticed that you were the only two in the entire room. No guards posted at the doors, no scholars on the higher levels searching through the dusty old tomes, just you and him.
Loghain turned to you once he had reached the wide doors to the balcony, smirked, and gestured for you to follow. The faint light of the moon made the bruises under his eyes look so much darker, and you bit your lip as you waited for him to speak.
“What exactly were you expecting? When you came in here after me, wondering after my wellbeing like we’re friends. That Alistair wouldn’t be too pleased, now would he?”
You were silent, not answering him as you slowly lifted a hand, giving him plenty of time to move away or to grab your wrist, and cupped his cheek. Loghain’s body went rigid, a genuinely confused look gracing his stern features, before he leaned into your touch. You smiled sadly at his reaction, and ran your thumb along his cheekbone, your other hand quickly coming up to mimic the action on the other side of his face. You couldn’t remember when his wife had died, but with how content he looked with his face in your hands, you knew he hadn’t felt a friendly touch since.
“I had hoped you would let me comfort you, even just a little.”
He cracked his eyes open, hands coming up to cup yours where they were still on his cheeks. “I will die tomorrow, won’t I?”
The quiet, almost vulnerable sound of Loghain’s voice made you pull back and grab him into a hug. He sank down into the embrace, and you reached a hand up to card your fingers through his hair as the other drew small circles on his back. You couldn’t lie to him, couldn’t promise him that you would try to talk Alistair out of killing him, couldn’t promise that he would live to see the sunset tomorrow. So you held him, as tight as you could and for as long as you could.
Loghain would die tomorrow, one way or another. And there was nothing you could do.
#loghain mac tir#loghain x reader#dragon age x reader#i am so sorry this took me so long#but I'm back#for now at least#so here take some loghain hurt/comfort angst stuff in this trying time
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
Butterflies
A Quick Note From Turtle:
This story is based upon the “SU AU Gone Wrong” fan comic by @spudinacup and is supposed to take place during the second chapter. My initial thought was to write the events of the chapter from Pink Steven’s point of view and try to capture his thought processes. Unfortunately, I failed in this. When Spud posted her notebook, it clearly states that Pink Steven can understand why others act the way they do, but cannot feel empathy or sympathy for anyone or anything. Looking at this 7,832 word behemoth, I realize that I made him a bit too eager to want to sympathize with everyone. He wants to understand. This seems a bit off the target. Of course, I had to take a few liberties to do what I wanted to do (like the butterflies) and to fit everything into the space I had to work with, but Steven being a bit OOC was not one of the liberties I intended to take.
Well, it made for a good story anyway. This was several weeks worth of work to pull off and many hours of listening to Pink Floyd music on repeat. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed making it. Spud, if you get around to reading this, I want you to know that this was intended to be a love letter to your amazing artwork. In that, at the very least, I feel I succeeded.
As a side note, try to figure out what I hid in this story. There’s a secret. Shouldn’t be too hard to spot if you know where to look. I’ve already given you a clue.
---
Hello?
Hello?
HELLO?
Is this what it means to be alone? To hear only his own thoughts, and to hear those thoughts echoing in the void of his own mind like sounds reverberating off the walls of a cavern? He doesn’t know. He has never been alone. There has always been the other one. Steven Who Was. For sixteen years, the two of them had been together. Steven Who Was had never realized that he was there, but that didn’t matter to him. He’d always been there, a part of Steven Who Was, watching through their shared eyes and feeling through their shared emotions. Steven Who Was had been more than just a part of himself: Steven Who Was had been his closest friend.
There is only him now. Steven Who Remains. The other one is gone. It is hard for him to feel anything, although this isn’t because his emotions have been numbed by tragedy. At least he doesn’t think so. No, he simply can’t recall how to feel. The traces of those emotions seem to be there, in some distant part of himself, yet trying to latch onto them is like attempting to catch the faint smoke of a dying campfire with his bare hands. When he attempts to do so, they slip through his fingers and drift away.
Anybody can look at me and see that I am no longer human. My humanity died with the other one. But if I’m not human anymore, what am I? Am I even still Steven? Am I Pink Diamond? Am I something else entirely?
In their early years, the Greg Universe took Steven Who Was on a road trip to Empire City. Steven Who Was must have been about six or seven at the time. They’d been there for eight days as the Greg took care of business that he hadn’t bothered to explain to Steven Who Was. Probably something to do with his music career. On one bright Sunday, they’d walked by a church where the people inside were singing about how they’d fly away, oh glory. When Steven Who Was had asked what they meant, Greg had given a basic explanation of religion and of the human belief in eternal souls. Steven Who Was had not been impressed by it, nor had Steven Who Remains.
There is something about it, though, that nags at his mind. He stands in the bathroom, watching the blood run off of his hands and into the sink basin, thinking about eternity, the afterlife, and what it means as far as he is concerned. The blood swirls around the drain, mixing with the clean water and vanishing in ribbons of grisly crimson. That had been his blood. The blood of Steven Who Was. That Steven is dead now, but he still exists.
Just what happened to people like Steven Who Was? Is his eternal human soul on a cloud somewhere, playing a harp and flapping its wings? If so, what is he? If Steven Who Was went to human heaven, is he even Steven anymore? He looks like Steven. He remembers being Steven. If asked by anyone (and someone will inevitably ask; of that he is certain), he will surely tell people that he’s Steven. But if the body is dead and the soul is gone to some hallelujah by-and-by glory land, what does one call whatever is left? There’s no word for it, because it isn’t natural. Humans leave their bodies behind and Gems leave their shards behind, each shard containing a fraction of what once was.
Nod. That seems to describe him, doesn’t it? A shard. A fraction. A portion of something that was once whole. Is he any different than those pieces of the cluster existing in the Earth’s core? Is he in any way different from the Gem experiments that attacked Steven Who Was and Connie? He has trouble convincing himself of the contrary. He’s not supposed to exist like this. He’s not supposed to be… him. The other one, Steven Who Was, is supposed to be a part of him. Without that essential part of himself, what is he but a shattered remnant?
If he is thinking of himself this way, if he has trouble even seeing himself as anything but unnatural, what will the others think? He can hear them through the door, fighting over the body. Lapis and Peridot. Peridot knows that the body is compromised. No heartbeat. Lungs deactivated. Fixing Steven Who Was is not possible. Lapis doesn’t want to believe that. She’s even now screaming at Peridot to try again.
You are going to want me to do something. I know this already. You will expect me to heal the body.
Can he blame her? No. He wants to be able to do something. He wants more than anything for this to be some terrible dream. He doesn’t want to be washing the blood of Steven Who Was down the drain. He doesn’t want to think about how broken and helpless the body looked, lying on the grass. He doesn’t want to remember how optimistic Steven Who Was had been just minutes before, singing about the brightness of the future. Nothing to fear. No one to fight. If only Steven Who Was had known, if only he’d known just how much they actually had to fear. That the fight to come would be their last together.
Hear that sound? It’s not the sound of water running down the drain; it’s the sound of hope dying. I couldn’t keep Steven Who Was from dying. When it came right down to it, I failed him. I failed all of them. Steven is dead. If I’m not to blame for that, who is? The Gem with the scythe, obviously. But who wasn’t there to protect him from the Gem with the scythe? Who wasn’t there to provide backup and support when there was a clearly dangerous Gem on the loose?
Me. I wasn’t there. They’re all going to blame me. They’re all going to look at me, see the echo of a dead man. Every time they look at me, they’re going to see him and blame me.
Is the Greg going to see him that way, too? What is the Greg going to think? At some point, he is going to have to confront the man who had been their father. At some point the Greg is going to see the body, or be told about it, and then he is going to see him. Steven Who Remains. What will happen? What will he say? Steven Who Remains certainly doesn’t think he’ll embrace him and call him his son. There will be no tender moment, no air guitar or story from the past to bring them together. There will be only---
There is no point in following that line of thought any further. Whatever is going to happen with the Greg, it is not going to be pleasant. Furthermore, dwelling upon it will only add to the heavy burden sitting in his mind already. He shuts off the water and closes the bathroom mirror, catching a glimpse of his reflection for the first time as he does so. The diamond eyes stare back at him. He is the spitting image of Steven Who Was. Looking into his own reflection is like looking into the face of a dead man.
Anyone else looking at me is really going to lose their mind.
At this, the thoughts really begin to flood in. What is he going to tell Connie? What is he going to tell Garnet or Amethyst or Pearl? All of these beings who had loved Steven Who Was the most, and now all they have left is a rapidly cooling corpse and him. He is, he can admit, a poor substitute. He doesn’t even know what he is. How is he supposed to give them the answers they will demand of him? How is he supposed to give the answers he demands of himself? None of them are going to understand. They aren’t going to see him as anything but an abomination, a constant reminder of an unspeakable tragedy. Even Bismuth, who had attempted to treat him as she had always treated Steven Who Was, was betrayed by the look in her own eyes. He saw it there as she took him by the shoulders and led him
(home?)
Come to think of it, is this really his home?
On the bathroom counter, more and more of those butterflies land, fluttering their wings. He knows they aren’t real, but Garnet’s lessons to Stevonnie have paid off. She taught them to visualize intrusive thoughts as white butterflies, and now that is all he can picture. They swirl around the bathroom in a mass of white, hateful wings. He can almost feel them behind him, forming into something familiar, something he doesn’t want to think about: the colossal face of Steven Who Was.
“Now what will we do?” Butterfly Steven mocks. “I’m dead, you’re an abomination, and it’s all your fault!”
I can’t… I have to remember Garnet’s training.
“Hear what I’m telling you,” Butterfly Steven snarls. “My death is on your head. Everything that happened is because you failed to act.”
You're… not real.
Feeling the thoughts overwhelming him, smothering him, he thinks back on Garnet’s words: It was just a thought. It’s okay. But that advice was for fusions acting as one, wasn’t it? To keep fusions from becoming unstable. He isn’t a fusion any more. He supposes that the advice is still sound, but just thinking of fusions breaks his concentration and sets the butterflies to swarming again.
“Down in the mouth?” Butterfly Steven calls. More and more his voice sounds less like Steven and more like the one who killed him. The rubber hose bitch. “You should be. I mean, what are the others going to say? Well
(well well well well let me get a look at the menagerie)
“I won’t--”
Can it.
Ease off.
“Your pain is only beginning, whether I’m here or not,” Butterfly Steven says as his form begins to dissolve. “You’ll see.”
Pain? He isn’t sure if that is the right word to use, because he has a hard time remembering what pain is. It’s the campfire smoke all over again. He thinks he might have an inkling of what it means. He knows the textbook definition, but processing and feeling that emotion seems impossible with his humanity literally slashed to pieces. He is certainly in for an ordeal, and he needs no emotional processing to understand that.
“Get the machine going again!” Lapis yells from the other side of the wall.
“You don’t understand,” the smaller voice of Peridot replies. “I don’t know how else to tell you--”
On that, Steven Who Remains turns from the sink with a sigh. The blood is long gone. He is just delaying the inevitable, standing here listening to the fighting and letting his thoughts torment him like this.
Your pain is only beginning, whether I’m here or not.
Feet away, a mere stone’s throw, another butterfly appears. He stares at it for a moment, then disregards it.
“Again!” Lapis demands. Peridot is pleading with her now, but Lapis is having none of it. Another butterfly appears. He looks at it, and it looks back at him.
Relax, it seems to be saying as he moves past it and opens the bathroom door. I’m just a harmless butterfly. A product of your shattered mind. Don’t mind me.
“I’ll tell you again,” Peridot is saying as he steps out, “that it’s not going to work any more than it already has.”
Need for results has driven Lapis to desperation, and she lashes out at Peridot, coming close to violence. Bismuth admonishes them both for their behavior, but it isn’t Bismuth’s raised voice or words that bring everything to a standstill: it is the sight of him as he steps out into the light. He gives them a wave, as if he’s just a normal guy entering a normal room where normal things are happening. Where there’s not a dead body on the couch and bloody gems on the counter top. Where he’s not a ghost, a vapor, a remnant of what was.
Some part of him, perhaps some lingering yet dying part of his remaining humanity, hoped against hope that Lapis and Peridot wouldn’t be giving him the looks they’re giving him. Lapis looks like he’s just walked into the room and ripped a giant fart; Peridot looks either terrified or furious, though he can’t figure out which. Maybe both. Bismuth is uncomfortable. She stutters, curses, asks him for something.
Information. She wants to know his name. What should they call him? She doesn’t say the rest, but she doesn’t have to. It lingers in the air like a bad odor: What should they call him now that Steven is dead?
First name given: Steven.
Just Steven.
The reaction from Lapis is swift and unpleasant. She flies off the handle again, gesturing wildly at the body and screaming at him that the dead boy is Steven. Bloody water from a nearby bowl ascends into the air, fueled by her rage and sorrow.
Basic tact would have told him that this response would be the wrong one, but such things seem beyond him now. While his mind is a torrent of conflicting thoughts, a lot of his actions seem almost programmatic, as though he is nothing more than a computer carrying out commands. The words slipped from his lips as easily and effortlessly as rain water sliding through the gutters. He found this had also been true when he’d gone into the bathroom to wash up. While the blood had caused a lot of turmoil in him, washing it off had been almost routine.
Facts are facts: I’m not human anymore. I can’t feel the emotions I used to take for granted. I can’t restrain myself like a human. I can’t remember how to laugh. God, I can’t even remember what it feels like to laugh.
Can I even call myself a Gem? Even Gems laugh. What in God’s name am I?
“You want to be Steven?” Lapis demands, bringing him out of his own head. She points back at the remains of Steven Who Was. “Heal him!”
“Show them,” a nearby butterfly mocks. “Show them you can’t do it so that they’ll hate you even more. Look at how Bismuth has to try and shield you from Lapis. Look at the anguish in Lapis’ eyes. What do you think is the source of all of her pain right now?”
Me. It’s coming… from me.
“Where is it coming from?” the butterfly prods. “Say it again.”
It is coming from me. Looking at me, seeing the ghost of him, hurts them all.
“Hurts them?” the butterfly says. “It isn’t just hurting them; it’s tearing them apart.”
There is blood on Lapis’ hands as she stretches out her palms, demanding answers from him: if Steven heals people, why can’t he? He reaches down and clasps his gem. The gem that used to belong to Steven Who Was. It’s a self-conscious gesture, of that he’s quite aware. He does it anyway. It’s almost… a human gesture, as if there are still remnants of Steven Who Was inside of him, sputtering and fizzling out like dying embers. He looks towards the body.
Is there really nothing he can do?
No action he can take?
Pain riddles the voices of Bismuth and Peridot as they attempt to explain the frailty of organic life to Lapis. Rather than give her some peace of mind about the situation, it seems to fuel her anger. The bloody water that has been drifting towards the ceiling in grisly balls now swirls into a macabre spiral above their heads.
“You can’t do anything,” the butterfly says.
Are you sure? Why am I even listening to you?
Receding into the shadows, the butterfly vanishes and is replaced by two others. The first reminds him that Steven’s death was his fault. The second reminds him again and again of how broken he is. He isn’t fully human anymore, but he certainly isn’t a full Gem. He hasn’t been a full Gem since the day Rose Quartz gave up her form.
(a single pale rose a pink diamond a liar did she just make me so she wouldnt have to deal with all her mistakes)
Distant memories, those. Again, he is struck by how hard it is to remember emotion. He can certainly remember Steven Who Was in the pink room, shouting at a simulated version of his mother. He can remember Steven Who Was being sad and angry and conflicted. Yet, upon recalling these memories, he can not remember the emotions themselves. The emotions and the memories should come as a single package, yet they do not. There is a strange disconnect he can’t explain. In a strange way, it is like the day Steven Who Was and the Greg and Lapis Lazuli went out on a yacht
(ship)
(smoke from the engine)
on the open sea.
The day had started out nice enough. They'd done some fishing, soaked up some sun. Lapis had refused the Greg’s hat. At some point, the engine had exploded, causing black smoke to billow from below deck and bringing them to a standstill.
(horizon darkened horizon there were storm clouds there was rain and then she came)
(you i’ve been following you)
Are these two really going to fuse again? That’s what Steven Who Was had been thinking, over and over again, as Jasper got down on her knees and begged Lapis to become Malachite for a second time. Yet despite Jasper’s promises that she had changed, that things would be better, Lapis refused her. To be more precise, she formed a large water fist and punched her so hard she became a speck in the stratosphere. To latch onto those human emotions, to understand them, made him feel like Jasper did that day. He all but begged them to take him back, but they turned a cold shoulder to him.
Only, they aren’t just turning a cold shoulder. It’s like they’re pushing him away. Or punching him away. Each time he reaches for them, they seem more distant. Less defined.
Coming closer and closer to not being there at all.
Through all of his musings, his hand hasn’t left his gem. He’s been standing here, staring at Steven Who Was with a blank expression. Lapis has been growing angrier with him by the second. He is brought back to reality by a soft plink. A drop of red water from the hurricane above them. It runs down his face and drips off his nose. Another falls. Then another. Blood rain.
In the split second it takes him to register this, all hell breaks loose. Lapis, who has been clenching her fists and her teeth and glaring daggers at him, loses her composure and screams. Her grip on the vortex shatters.
Waves of bloody water pour down on everything.
Your pain is only beginning, whether I’m here or not.
Lips are moving, mouths are speaking, Bismuth is screaming, but he can’t hear her. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion. Lapis has him by the shirt, her enraged eyes mere inches from his. In this instant, several thought processes go through his broken mind. She’s demanding that he cry over the body, that he save Steven Who Was as Steven Who Was once saved Lars. He dismisses her as a threat in an instant. Lapis, as angry as she is, is not going to hurt him. He also knows that these demands might have been within the powers of Steven Who Was
(move your ass cry help him fix him)
but they might not be within his own.
I can’t even remember what it’s like to feel sad. How can I possibly cry over the body?
Can't remember.
“Hear how much pain she’s in,” a nearby butterfly says. “It’s your fault for letting Steven die. You--”
What the butterfly says next is lost as Bismuth gets between him and Lapis and pushes them apart. He stumbles backwards, his hand finally leaving his gem. When he regains his balance, Bismuth is still between them. He fixes Lapis with a glare. She is no threat, and she is merely acting upon her grief and emotions, but she has still pissed him off.
“You're feeling anger?” the butterfly says, sounding surprised. “Seems like you’re still feeling something after all.”
Saying that this was emotion is a bit of a stretch. He knows he didn’t like being roughed up and he knows he doesn’t like being pushed around. It is a certain amount of… displeasure. It certainly seems like what he remembers as anger. Is it because he had reacted instinctively to it? Were emotions more difficult to grasp onto if he was trying?
When the other Gem, the one who looked like some kind of sad clown, had poofed all of his friends and killed Steven Who Was, there had been emotion then. There was no doubt about that. He’d been furious. His hands had trembled with effort when Bismuth had arrived and reminded him that shattering Gems was wrong. It had taken everything inside of him to release that terrible scythe and let the clown bitch live.
I wasn’t trying to be angry. It just came.
Was that the key to all of this? If so, why did the emotions not come even when he wasn’t trying? Why could he not remember laughter? Why could he not remember the joy of a smile or why being around friends and family elicited feelings of love?
A quandary for certain.
Child Steven
(i think the gems refer to him as classic steven)
had a day perhaps a year or so prior to the end of the war in which he was snowed in with his family, listening to stories of how the Gems kidnapped him and stole the Greg’s van. That day was one of the happiest in the memories for Steven Who Was, and one that Steven Who Was often looked back on with fondness.
A happy day, indeed. But why? And why did Steven Who Was also think back so often on a certain week when Connie fell dreadfully ill? What was it the humans called this strange experience?
Fever. Connie had a fever. Steven had been at her side the entire time, cooking her soup and applying cold washcloths to her forehead. Mrs. Maheswaran told Steven that he needn’t spend all of his time fawning over Connie, that she was more than capable as a mother of taking care of her daughter.
“My time is Connie’s time until she gets better,” Steven told her, spoon-feeding Connie small amounts of hot soup.
Hands shaking, Connie reached up and stroked Steven’s cheek. It was a small, quick gesture, but it
(felt wonderful)
just made Steven more resolved to stick it out to the end.
Like the jam buds they were.
Two fantastic ingredients, jam and biscuit, which when combined together, make each other even better.
Balloons was an even better analogy, at least in mind of Steven Who Was. He sometimes liked to picture them as two balloons, floating higher and higher, their strings intertwined. There was no doubt in the mind of Steven Who Remains that Steven Who Was had been in love with Connie almost from the outset. Despite Garnet’s claims that “love takes time and love takes work”, Steven hadn’t experienced it quite the same way. From the moment he’d laid eyes on her, something in him had clicked. That’s why he’d saved her glow bracelet in the freezer. That’s why he’d tried so hard to impress her with his funky flow.
Now all those dreams he had are in ruins. The balloons have popped.
I've got to figure out what I’m going to tell her when she inevitably shows up.
Got to figure it out.
That was going to be fun, wasn’t it? Well, you see Connie,
(feeling optimistic connie ha boy do i have a whopper of a tale for you)
once everything finally quieted down and Steven was gearing up for some well-deserved R&R, a Gem we’d never seen before showed up and gutted Steven with a scythe and lopped off his arm. I should have done something to help, honestly. My bad.
Again, the butterflies begin to grow in number while Bismuth tries to get Lapis quieted down.
I can’t let this happen. You and Connie are supposed to be endgame.
Can't let it happen without trying to fix it.
Explain to Connie why the boy she loves is in pieces? Not if I can help it.
You both deserve better.
Would it make it easier for everyone if he at least tried, but still failed?
Not likely.
Understand, please, that I want Steven to be better as much as any of you.
This last thought sets him in motion. He moves away from Bismuth and Lapis and towards Peridot, who is attempting to block access to Steven Who Was with her body. Steven Who Remains never even breaks his stride. Peridot ends up diving out of the way to keep from being stepped on. She scuttles under the table, bumping it and sending a bowl of blood water crashing to the floor. She cowers behind Bismuth’s leg as they all watch him approach Steven Who Was.
Is the world supposed to look like a glitchy video game?
Not this way. No.
How could it be?
I feel like things are---
Am I imagining it, or are things beginning to go loopy?
I see Steven Who Was, but something is wrong. It’s like things are beginning to shift all around me, go out of frame. I feel more broken than ever.
“Have things become a little too real for you?” a nearby butterfly asks.
Become too real?
“Comfortably standing at a distance is one thing, but how do you feel now that you’re right next to him?”
Numb. I feel numb.
I feel broken.
Have things always looked this fragmented? When did the blood get back on my hands? Is that supposed to be there? When did they reattach his arm?
(become too real)
(comfortably standing at a distance is one thing, but how do you feel now that you’re right next to him)
(numb)
Okay, enough of this. Not only is he being watched, but Steven’s very survival depends upon his ability to produce some effective healing tears. He can’t let himself become disoriented and delusional. He shoots a look at the hateful butterfly, which vanishes into mist. He reaches out and touches Steven Who Was, hesitating for but a moment. Then he takes him by the hand and looks down at him. No tears come. He is not surprised.
Just an hour before, they’d been one. He’d been a part of Steven Who Was, and it was easier to be human. Steven Who Was had been smiling and singing and loving on his family.
A single event had destroyed all of that, but he will fix it if he can. He hopes beyond all hope that this will work. Little bits of memory trickle back to him as he leans down and kisses Steven Who Was on the forehead. He thinks he feels something, so tiny it is like a
(little remnant of magic)
pinprick. He experiences something that he thinks might be an emotion called hope. It begins to form inside of him, starting small but gradually swelling. He stands back and waits. Peridot creeps forward and looks at the heart monitor. Bismuth and Lapis follow, all of them waiting for the flat line on the screen to spring to life. For those terrible zeroes to increase, to show that there is some sign of life somewhere deep inside the cold body.
There'll be an improvement any moment now.
Be better. Get better. Live. Please.
“No improvement,” Peridot said at last. Bismuth cast a cautious eye at Lapis as Peridot said this. The hope balloon that had been getting bigger within him pops and leaves him feeling deflated.
“More,” Lapis says to him, her voice cold. “You should have done more. You should have cried.”
Ah, just leave me alone, he thinks as he strokes the hair of Steven Who Was. Can’t she see that he wants it as badly as she does? More than she does?
“But if you want it so bad," a nearby butterfly says, "why didn't it work?"
You already know why it didn't work.
"May I suggest that it didn’t work because you’re not capable?” the butterfly says. “Just like you weren’t capable of saving Steven. I feel--”
Feel this.
A puff of smoke and the butterfly is gone. Steven Who Remains turns his attention back to the conversation at hand. Bismuth is of the opinion that Steven wouldn’t cry because Steven can’t cry. She elaborates upon this by pulling out the scythe. The one that started this whole mess.
Little pinpricks of fear erupt inside of him and become an almost primal need to get Steven Who Was as far from the killing weapon as possible. He doesn’t understand what the device is capable of, or if it had the ability to do even more damage than it already has, but he isn’t taking any chances. Neither is Peridot. She recoils from it as if the mere act of touching it would cause her to lose all of her character development.
Sick device used by a sick bitch of a Gem, Steven thinks, cradling the body. Bismuth is talking about how Homeworld used it to “rejuvenate” rebellious Gems, but Steven isn’t listening. He is regarding the Rejuvenator-- and now Bismuth-- with caution and distrust.
Can you put that damn thing away please?
You should have gotten rid of it.
Stand farther away at least.
Up on the second floor perhaps?
“I don’t know what it did to the Crystal Gems,” Bismuth says, looking toward the bloody collection of gems on the counter, “but if this thing reset them, we’ll find a way to get them back. They’re the O.G. Crystal Gems, after all. It’ll take something far worse to keep them out of the game.”
Do not underestimate the terrible tool in your hand, Steven thinks, dragging the body as far away from Bismuth as he can.
Believe the stories you hear. If not them, then believe your own eyes. Look at Steven Who Was.
It's mere moments after Bismuth bends down to talk to Peridot again, seemingly about a way to help or fix Steven (Steven isn’t really listening), that Steven himself rises from the couch. Bismuth has placed the Rejuvenator on the counter and has carelessly forgotten about it.
Working quickly, he grabs the hateful device in both hands and holds it there. He looks down at the bubbled gem of the other one. The rubber hose clown. He looks down at the tool in his hands again.
Good God, what could drive her to such an act? Who is she? Why would she just show up out of nowhere and kill? What purpose does it serve? She claimed she didn’t know Steven wouldn’t poof. She even tried to apologize for all of this, but--
“That'll be a serious mistake,” the voice of Bismuth calls out to him, breaking him from his thoughts. He looks over. All of their eyes are now upon him. “Don’t do it, Steven. Why don’t you just put that down?”
Keep away. I have to do this. For me. For Steven Who Was.
“You don’t need to do anything foolish,” Bismuth says. “Why don’t we just talk about it?”
Going to do it. Going to end it.
Through all of this, through all of the guilt butterflies and the accusing face of Steven Who Was, the well-being of Steven has been at the forefront of his mind. If he hadn’t failed him, Steven would be alive now. If Steven was alive, he and Connie would still have a future. If the rubber hose girl hadn’t showed up, Steven would still be alive. It all came down to the rubber hose Gem and the horrendous tools of death and destruction she’d brought with her. Well, he could right at least one wrong.
The Rejuvenator cracks as he snaps it in two. There is a short buzz of electricity as the circuits inside die, then it becomes a useless stick. It would never harm anyone ever again. He looks back at the other Gems to find that Bismuth is once again restraining Lapis Lazuli, except this time she isn’t coming at him to make demands; she is ready to
(show me how much she hates me)
come at him full force and destroy him if it comes right down to it.
On this note, Bismuth gulps and reaches out a shaky hand towards him. He makes her nervous. He makes her uncomfortable. She has tried valiantly to hide this from him, but it has become too much for her to bear. She can conceal her true feelings no longer.
“It's okay,” she says to him. “Do you feel better?”
Time to respond. To say something in return. To give her a little something. To show some humanity, or some emotion, or some empathy. Why can’t he open his mouth? Why won’t the words come? It seems like it would be appropriate to say something, but some part of his programming tells him that it isn’t necessary to say something. It seems to him that in this case, his programming is wrong. Either that, or his programming is as broken as the rest of him. Still, he maintains his silence.
“To be honest,” she says after a long and rather awkward period where he simply stares up at her with his diamond eyes, “I wouldn’t want that thing around me, either.”
“Go on,” a nearby butterfly says. “Ask her if she meant the Rejuvenator, or if she was talking about you.”
There is a knock on the door, cutting off this exchange and causing the butterfly to evaporate. Before anyone can think to answer it, the Greg throws it open. He is holding a baseball bat and screaming Steven’s name.
Is there any way that this day can get any worse?
No. Not unless Connie shows up.
Pain drips from the Greg’s voice and tears run from his eyes. He runs to Steven Who Remains and embraces him. He expresses his relief at finding his son alive. Apparently, Bismuth shot him a text at some point. This is… awkward.
“You have no idea what you’re going to say to this man, do you?” a butterfly sneers as it flutters past. It moves towards Steven Who Was.
Are you serious? Get away from him!
Receding more and more as it grows closer, it laughs at him. Something is wrong. Something is terribly wrong.
A moment later, Steven Who Was turns his head and looks at him. Whatever the Greg is saying is lost as Steven Who Was lets out a groan and lurches from the couch.
Distant memories begin to flood in again, taking control and making the world seem glitchy and hazy.
(ship shaped like an arm)
(smoke or dust on the horizon of homeworld)
On a distant planet, they fought a good fight against the greatest tyrants the universe has ever known. One by one, each of these tyrants was brought to Steven’s side. The last holdout, White Diamond, refused to bend, and stood proud upon her platform, passing judgment upon them all.
The events of that day, the day of their first separation, are firm in his mind. Of all the things he has trouble remembering, this is not one of them. White Diamond, big as the Trade Center Building in Empire City, grabbing Steven in her mighty fist. Her pointy black claws raising his shirt and digging into his belly. The gem they shared coming out. Then he was there. Pink Steven. This was a brand new experience for him. For both of them. A bold new… what’s the human word?
Horizon.
You begged me that day. You looked at me, fell on your face. NO, PLEASE. I NEED - I NEED IT!
Are those words coming out of his mouth now? Oh, sweet heavens they are.
Only...
“Coming out” might not be the right phrase. More like “tumbling out”, “slurring out”, “sliding out”. Steven Who Remains is reminded of the old zombie flicks Steven Who Was used to watch on television late at night. These brute beasts with guts hanging out or rotting limbs dangling would lurch around and groan and grunt.
Through a massive swarm of butterflies, Steven Who Was reaches for him. Blood pours from his empty eye sockets in torrents. The blood pools on the floor beneath their feet.
In this moment, Steven Who Remains reaches in desperation for Garnet’s words.
Waves of fear crash over him, followed by waves of guilt.
Your training! Remember your training!
Lips barely matching the words he is saying, Steven Who Was speaks again: “I need it!”.
Move back to the couch. You aren’t real. Aren’t real. Aren’t real. You’re dead.
But he is having trouble convincing himself of that. He finds himself reaching for the outstretched hand of Steven Who Was, as if they are going to fuse back together again. He can also feel the pool of blood in which he is standing. The blood is between his toes, down inside his flip-flops.
I can’t handle this!
“Can't handle it! Can’t handle it! Can’t handle it!” the butterflies mock.
“Hear him now,” they laugh. “How strong he seemed, banishing us and chanting ‘Just a thought’ like a mantra. Where is your precious Garnet now?”
What is happening to me?
You’re not real! None of you are real! He’s not real, either!
Saying it over and over again in his head makes the visions begin to break apart, but they have one more trick: When Steven Who Was moves closer, Steven Who Remains can smell the decay coming from him. It is one of the worst rotten meat odors he’s ever experienced. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He thinks back on that day of training: Take a moment to ask yourself if this is how we fall apart.
When he opens his eyes, the butterflies are gone, Steven Who Was is back on the couch, and the Greg is calling out to him.
I didn’t mean to let you die, Steven thinks, looking over at Steven Who Was. I didn’t mean for this to be how we fell apart.
Was that fear on Bismuth’s face? She looks like she expects him to fly off the handle at any time, or expects the Greg to look back at the couch where Steven lay. What will happen when he sees his son’s body?
A disaster, that’s what. He will lose his composure. He might even go insane. Steven was the only family he had left, unless you count cousin Andy. Greg has no one now. He is all alone.
Child of the Greg. Son of Rose. I’m sorry.
I am so sorry. To you as well, Greg. This should never have happened
Caught up in the moment, an emotion comes back to him, raw and unexpected but real nonetheless: it is sadness. For the first time since this tragedy happened, he is able to feel something other than anger.
A simple, brief
(fleeting)
glimpse of the humanity he had so long taken for granted.
Out on the beach, the rain begins to fall. There is a distant roll of thunder. Is it poetic or cheesy to think of it as the sorrowful tears of the planet Steven had given his life to defend? Probably cheesy, but there it is. Everyone had shed a tear for Steven today except for him, even the goddamn planet itself. Why is he so incapable of this simple act, when it might prove to be Steven’s saving grace?
Of course, there is the possibility that Bismuth is right and that the Rejuvenator has somehow reset him to an earlier state. Strangely enough, he doesn’t feel reset. He remembers Steven’s life. He remembers their experiences together. If he is a reset Gem, shouldn’t he be more… Pink Diamond? Shouldn’t his memories be erased as well?
The answers will not be quick in coming, if they ever come at all. Likely, the only answers they’ll ever get will be from the rubber hose Gem. They’ll have to unbubble her eventually if they want to unravel this. No pun intended.
Corner her. Threaten her. Make her talk.
Of all the ideas that have gone through his head this day, this one is by far his least favorite. He doubts the Gems will be on board with it, either. Pure aggression is not their way, unless it is an absolute last resort.
“My human is dead! What do you know about what you did to me? How do I fix it?”
Eye to eye and with the Breaking Point pointed at her Gem, maybe it would work, but it seems ugly and messy and… Homeworld. He won’t resort to those kinds of tactics. Not even on her.
I almost did, though, didn’t I? When I held her gem in my hand.
Turned it this way and that. Looked at it. Dropped it on the ground. Pointed a sharp object at it…
To go down that rabbit hole was to risk having another episode, and he won’t do that. He will figure out how to get answers from her, but that isn’t the important thing to focus on at the moment.
Look at the Greg’s face. Look at the concern there. He hasn’t turned around yet. He’s still looking at me! Should I say something? Should I do something?
But he can’t. That part of his programming, the broken part, will not allow it. It keeps saying that it is unnecessary. Is it that, or is it some botched signal? Is the reality that he doesn’t want to be the one to break the old man’s heart?
It shouldn’t have to be anyone’s job to break his heart! We shouldn’t have to do this! Steven shouldn’t be dead!
Was that all there was to it? He feels something. Some emotion. Weak as a dying heartbeat. He reaches for it, but it slips away. He reaches for it again. It grows even fainter. It vanishes.
Gone. Had it been guilt? Apprehension? He doesn’t know.
I hate being a fraction of a person. A shard. A being who cannot feel emotions or react to social cues or show even the slightest bit of sorrow to an unspeakable tragedy.
Cannot or will not?
Put in simple terms, he can’t even tell if his inability to behave like a person is because he isn’t a person and thus can’t be expected to act like one, or because some mental block is keeping him from doing so. Do Gems even get mental blocks? He supposes that it’s possible. Gems can get emotional hang ups after being lied to, they can grieve for six thousand years, and they can eat and drink and pee in the ocean. Would it not, then, be possible for something to affect a Gem in such a way that it makes them unable to act in certain ways or feel certain things?
My best friend was just murdered by a crazy clown. Like something out of a Stephen King novel. I’d say that qualifies. We were all so happy. It was like the hand of fate came down on us for no reason.
Finger of God type stuff. Like we were too happy. Like the war was our destiny, and we weren’t suffering enough or something.
On that note, he dismisses the thought. He has never put much stock in religion. The reality is that they weren’t struck down by the hand of God; they were attacked by a crazy fuck with a scythe.
It really is as simple as that. If he has some kind of complex, it is because of her.
Now he has to determine how he is going to deal with it. How they are all going to deal with it. When he’d been standing in the bathroom, Butterfly Steven said something that had been cruel but true: this isn’t his life. This isn’t his home.
The others will feel the same.
Child of the Greg, son of Rose he is not. His diamond pupils and pink glow make that abundantly clear.
Is there going to be anything for me here when this is all over and done with?
Grown up Pink Steven might end up being a complete pariah in a world built by the blood, sweat and tears of classic human Steven.
The idea, surprisingly, does not fill him with dread or apprehension. He finds that, due to his emotional limitations, it is hard to care about much of anything except for Steven Who Was. He supposes that he cares about the Greg, and he supposes that he cares about the friends of Steven Who Was. A concern for the well-being of another has very little to do with emotion. When it comes to himself, however, it is a different story. Gems are not known for their drive for self-preservation. When Sapphire had run away with Ruby, Ruby hadn’t given much thought to whether she would be shattered or not, responding instead by asserting that there were tons of her. Pearl had thrown herself in front of weapon after weapon to keep Rose Quartz safe. Steven had given his life without hesitation in his efforts to protect his friends.
Dream big, but don’t put too high a value on your own life. That’s the Gem way.
Is that right? Certainly seems that way. And to boot, it stirs up some emotion in him. Is it indignation? Anger? Outrage at such a blase attitude? Before he can grasp it to identify it, it slips away.
Gone again.
I need to get a grip on that somehow. Need to learn how to process emotions without Steven there to do it for me.
Have to. Don’t have a choice.
Become my own person. Losing Steven Who Was may have left me a shattered remnant of what we once were, but maybe I can learn to be whole. Maybe I can break my programming like the original Crystal Gems did when they rebelled. Maybe I can learn to deal with emotions, and function like the Gem that I am. Learn to grasp things and respond and shed this callousness. Maybe then I won’t be quite so
(comfortably)
numb.
#steven universe#steven universe future#su au gone wrong#spudinacup#pink floyd#pink steven#steven universe the movie
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
(1)Cause you're (rightfully) grumpy about people's purity wank I've got a question that might distract you and which I desperately hope you have an answer to: I mostly read steter fic so far. Now i wanted to get into sterek but ... I seem to be too picky?? I'd like to read sth not totally au (Erica and Boyd being alive is fine for example), with not too much ooc-ness, with Peter NOT being the villain and with Derek's abusive past 'relationships' and Stiles self-destructiveness actually adressed
(2) and I can’t seem to find sth that really … catches me. There are so many amazing steter fics out there (yes, I very definetely talking about your fics too) and I’m sure there are equally amazing sterek fics, but …. yeah. I’m obviously not able to find them. So - help??? Please??
~*~
Oh, friend. You are my favorite. This is the kind of ask Iadooooore. Ok, you ready? Cuz this list is LOOOOONG. (big thanks to@bloody-bee-tee for helping me find fics for this list.) Not everything fitsall your criteria, but all of them fit some.
**Are especially good for dealing with Derek and/or Stiles healing.
~~
Patterns of Intention by drunktuesdays:
Derek looked likethe stuff of his deepest fantasies. His shirt was rumpled where Stiles had hishands in it, and he was breathing hard as well, chest heaving. His eyes—hiseyes were glazed over and he looked stunned, like he’d been—like Stiles had—
“No,” Stiles said,blood draining from his face. The word was croaky and felt like it had to bewrenched out of his chest. “God, no.”
~~
Paper Skin and Glass Bones byhushlittlewolf:
Derek can’t takethis. He can’t take this joking, concerned boy that has the evidence of Derek’sshortcomings carved into his skin.
Or
The one where Dereknever paid attention to how much Stiles got hurt…until he sees Stilesshirtless and notices all the scars.
~~
**Carry You Home byCastielific:
“Derek letshimself fall on his back, breath short, heart beating fast. He can feel theWolf in him, purring in satisfaction and contentment. Asking for more. It wantshim to turn and touch, to never stop touching. Instead, Derek squeezes hishands into fists and closes his eyes, trying to push it back, this need, thisinstinct screaming for his mate. For Stiles.”
Title inspired bythis Firefly quote: “When you can’t run anymore, you crawl, and when you can’tcrawl, when you can’t do that, you find someone to carry you”
~~
Trust Fall byStoney:
Stiles is fairlycertain that a case could be made for every bad thing in his life coming backto Peter Hale. This time it’s pissing off a powerful witch, who retaliated byswapping Stiles and Derek a la Freaky Friday, because sure. Thatmakes sense. Um, there are GPAs on the line, not to mention the whole thingwhere his dad wants to shoot Derek on sight. Except who he sees as Derek isactually Stiles, and Stiles did not sign up for filicide.
Great. Wait…does this mean he’s the Alpha until they figurethis out? Holy. Shit.****
Derek had stood in front of the bathroom mirror for a fewminutes trying to control the panic as he saw himself as Stiles. As the loudmouthed human friend of the pack. He was going to kill Peter. He was going tokill the witch, then he was going to kill Peter. Maybe even resurrect him againjust to kill him all over.
They were going to have to play this cool. They would have tostay calm and focused. Which is of course why the universe threw him into thissituation with someone who physically couldn’t be calm and focused.
Of course.
~~
Stilinski’s Home for WaywardWolves by owlpostagain:
“At least yourpuppies knock first,” Stiles snorts. “Here I thought their alpha raised them tobe well-mannered.”
“There’s a sign,” Derek responds stiffly.
Stiles, whose curiosity outweighs even his hardest of grudges,abandons his chilly façade of nonchalance in a heartbeat. He jumps right up andall but pushes Derek out of the way in his effort to get to the window, andsure enough when he leans outside there’s a laminated strip of cardstock ducttaped to the vinyl siding:
DON’T FORGET TO KNOCK Stiles gets cranky when we scare him
—
Or, in which StilesStilinski moves to Beacon Hills for his junior year of high school andaccidentally adopts a pack of teenage werewolves.
~~
How Derek Met His Smallest Fan by purleduvet:
Derek is standing inthe fruits and vegetables aisle, trying to decide between two very nice lookingwatermelons, when someone small crashes into his legs.
or
Derek comes back toBeacon Hills after years of being gone and meets Stiles and his kid at thesupermarket.
~~
Make it Feel Like Home by redeyedwrath:
Maybe it would’vebeen different if things had never happened. Maybe it would’ve been different ifhe hadn’t persuaded Scott to go search in the woods. Maybe it would’ve beendifferent if he hadn’t been so stubborn. Maybe it would’ve been different if heand Scott had never met.
Maybe it would’ve been different, would’ve beenbetter, if he hadn’t been born in the first place.
He tightens his fingers on the steering wheel untilthey turn an ugly, bloodless color. The only good thing, in his opinion, that’dcome out of all of this, had been meeting Derek. Derek, who’d been an assholebut turned out to be the most loyal, kindest person Stiles knows.
He resists the urge to drive off the road and screaminto his palms. Beause Derek had left, and now he’s alone.
Or, an AU where Stiles runs away to find himself but finds Derekinstead.
~~
Misfire bymothlights, unpossible: (this one has less than fantastic Peter, buthe isn’t actively bad, and it’s amazing)
“The debt must berepaid,” she says, and it has the weight of a vow. Thewords resonate through him, ringing through his ribcage and the bones of hisjaw, and Stiles loses his breath and maybe his grip on reality because shedraws herself upright and where there had once stood a supermodel-level MILFnow there is Galadriel’s much hotter older sister, a Presence of unmistakablepower in their ordinary, smells-vaguely-of-Thai-takeout hallway.
“Oh shit,” Stilessays.
~~
And You Say You’re Alone by taelynhawker:
Between the kanima, the Argents, and Peter’suntimely return from the dead, everything has fallen apart. Stiles and Derektry to put their lives back together once the crisis has passed. Stiles dealswith the aftermath of being tortured, and the distance growing between he andScott. Derek attempts to become a stronger alpha and keep his pack safe, andthat includes Stiles.
~~
The Art of Dying Well by kinneas:
Yousaid we’re friends.“
"Whoa, way to holdwhat a guy says in the heat of the moment against him,” Stiles repliesautomatically, but… that’s not what he wants to say, not at all, not to thequiet contemplation that is Derek Hale on his living room sofa. So he adds,“I guess, yeah.”
Derek doesn’t speak fora long moment. “Then it’s inevitable.”
“Wow,”Stiles whistles, “you are the biggest downer.”
~~
Gracious in Defeatby yodasyoyo:
Stiles needs to getaway from Beacon Hills after the end of his senior year. Derek offers to lethim stay with him in São Paulo, and they finally act on the tension that hasalways simmered between them.
The thing is, whenit’s time to go home- Stiles doesn’t want to leave.
~~
Crash Landers by gyzym:
In which Stiles learns to Stalk That Stalk.(Or, how to accidentally woo your unfriendly neighborhood alpha in roughly fivehundred handwritten steps.)
~~
**Not Quite Lost (Not QuiteFound) by alocalband:
A year after thenogitsune is defeated, Derek is living a quiet life in the mountains above asmall town in Colorado.
Then Stiles showsup.
~~
The Darkness Inside by isthatbloodonhisshirt:
The sheriff watchedhim for a moment, then he sighed and turned slightly. He reached out to open acabinet door beside him, and pulled out a shelf. It was on a track, so itrolled out of the cabinet fairly easily, and held a small CCTV. Derek frownedand inched his chair to the side a little bit so he could get a better angle.
He was looking at a teenager, or someone at least young enoughto be the same age as Scott. He was sitting on a bed in what looked to be alarger room, the area he was in surrounded by four glass walls, with his legscrossed and head tilted.
He was also staring directly into the camera, as if he knewsomeone was watching. A creepy smile slowly slid onto the teen’s face, and heheld up one hand, wiggling his fingers in a slow, eery wave.
Derek felt his mouth run dry. He didn’t know who this kid was,but he didn’t like him.
“Who is that?” he asked quietly.
“That,” said thesheriff, “is my son.”
~~
***Bravery is a Loaded Gun byLiviKate:
“No, I’m notasexual, Stiles,” Derek said shortly.
The teen’s heart sank in his chest, his palms going clammy andhis neck prickling with the familiar feeling of rejection.
“So then it’s,” Stiles swallowed, throat clogging, unable togive voice to the facts he would much rather ignore. The silence grew betweenthem, growing tense the longer it was left. For the first time in years, Stilescouldn’t speak. The weight of inadequacy held down his typical stream ofuseless banter. What does one say in this sort of situation? ‘I’m sorry youdon’t find me attractive?’
In which the boys speak in half sentences and have two totallydifferent conversations. What they can agree on, eventually, is that they loveeach other. And that Derek should jerk off more.
~~
Warm shadows bystilinskisparkles:
“Fine,” Stiles spitsback, “We’ll die together, it’ll be dandy.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” Derek snaps, “I’ll get some peaceand quiet for once.”
Stiles grinssuddenly, blindingly. There’s blood on his teeth, and his eyes are dark anddesperate as he looks up at Derek, but he’s never looked more stupidly,infuriatingly beautiful.
~~
Give Me Back My Bones (maybe thenwe’ll talk) by kariye:
Derek meets Stiles on a Wednesday. He comes infor his usual cup of coffee and somehow walks out with hot chocolate, cinnamonon the top, and no idea what just happened there.
~~
Romancing the Sourwolf. (OrStiles Stilinski’s Foolproof Guide to Getting Your Man) by lucyinthesoupwithcrutons:
The 15 year plan for Lydia was clearly thewrong way to go; Stiles won’t be making the same mistake with Derek. He decidesto do his homework this time.
~~
Throw Me to the Wolves by skoosiepants:
He feels thephysical embodiment of devastated, his already too strung-out mindstruggling to wall up all the hurt, the rejection—he takes a deep shudderingbreath and looks down at the shredded skin on his arms, at the sluggish waythey’re weakly healing.
There is nothing, nothing he wants more than tohave Derek sweep in and make everything all better. He should have known,though, that something like that would never happen to him.
OR -
Stiles accidentallygets bitten, and everything goes to hell.
~~
***SharingFood by aussiebee:
“Sharing foodwith another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged inlightly.” ― M.F.K. Fisher
Or
Derek is pretty muchabsorbed into the Stilinski family, one meal at a time.
~~
Derek Hale’s No-Good, Very BadDay by Mackem:
Derek hides from his day.
~~
***Start Small, Like Oak Treesby SmallBirds:
The months following Allison’s death havepassed Stiles by in a haze of monotony. He sleepwalks through days that seem tolose their color, an unwilling passenger in a body he no longer trusts.Eventually, he thinks, he’ll just fade away. He isn’t sure anyone would notice.Then, during a spur of the moment grocery run, he stumbles upon Derek Haleattempting to console a lost child, and for the first time in recent memory theworld doesn’t seem so awful.He’s not sure what he’d been expecting when he eventuallyconvinces Derek to move into the Stilinski’s spare bedroom, but a newfoundpassion for weeding and topsoil certainly isn’t it.
~~
A Quiet Night (Not in theCards) by Delightful_I_Am:
“Derek fucking Hale!”
The shout rang through the bar and for a long moment nobodymoved. It was like something out of a movie. Everything just stopped; the musiccut off; one of the servers had frozen mid-pour. Grady would have laughed if heweren’t holding his breath. The kid straightened his shirt, a glimpse ofstomach showing the curling edges of a tattoo on his hip, and strode towardwhere Hale was sitting in the dark corner. As one, every supe in the placeturned to see Hale’s reaction; the last person to try to confront Hale in herehad left with a broken hand and a whispered threat that the next time Halewould rip their throat out. With his teeth.Unsurprisingly, Hale’s face was set in its usual glower, although it seemed abit softer around the eyes. It took Grady a second to realise Hale knew the kid.
~~
The blood blooms clean in you,ruby by m_leigh:
“You don’tremember, anymore, where exactly you were when you found out that she was dead.You remember almost everything else about her dying, though.”
Stiles Stilinski hasalways been the person who will do what other people don’t want to. It’s hard,though, when your friends keep trying to protect you. Post-S2.
~~
***Tide pullsfrom the moon by paintedrecs:
When Derek leftBeacon Hills, finally ripping the tether free and remembering how to breathe,how to live again, it was Stiles who came after him. Stiles, who showed up athis door with blazing eyes, looking like he wanted to punch him in the face,but wrapping his arms around him instead, making him grunt in surprise at theraw strength of his embrace.
“You asshole,”Stiles said, slapping him heartily on the back as he extricated himself, hisvoice rough under his bright smile. “You couldn’t have made yourself harder tofind, could you?”
~~
Homing Mechanisms by SmallBirds:
Magnetoreception:The sense which allows an organism to detect a magnetic field to perceivedirection, altitude or location. How birds find their way home.
–
Stiles returns toBeacon Hills after four years at Stanford, only to find out that Derek hasmoved back into town. He brings him a housewarming gift. Derek makes food.Things escalate from there.
~~
Parallax by uraneia:
Parallax: noun. Theeffect whereby the position or direction of an object appears to differ whenviewed from different positions, e.g., through the viewfinder and the lens of acamera.
With the pack (and Stiles) starting college, Derek is bored. Heneeds a hobby–or a job. Which is how he comes to model for Alpha Studios.
He just neverthought Stiles would end up working there too.
~~
Occam’s Razorby MissAnnThropic:
When Stiles goes to sleep, he’s ajunior in high school. He wakes up in a world where he’s twenty-four andmarried to Derek Hale. Stiles just can’t seem to catch a break.
Readalso: Stepping Off the Razor’sEdge which is a lot of healing for both our boys and beautiful.
~~
The Truth Is by BulletBlaze:
“Well, you should get going then-”“You could come around some time-”A pause.“Wait, what?”A blush bloomed across Derek’s cheeks, barely visible overthe top of his beard. He shrugged again.“If you wanted to. You could stop by while I’m fixing it up.Help me with some things. If you wanted to.”“You already said that,” Stiles, the idiot, mumbled indisbelief.Derek’s blush grew a shade darker.
~~
There’s a martyr in my bedtonight but it’s alright by crossroadwrite:
It’s a beautiful afternoon, and Derek is standing at a dusty gasstation, staring helplessly at the destroyed remains of the last thing hissister left him.
(OR: In which Derekexpects nothing from life, but with a little help from the Stilinskis getseverything.)
284 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
marlonmybrando
Marlon Brando
fagsace
Fagsace
mndst
MNDST
atd-sportscars-blog
ATD-Sportscars
fagsace
Fagsace