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goobieboobie · 8 months

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ultraviolence 0.1

| 70s pornstar! joel miller x preachers daughter! reader

Your prayers aren't enough to keep big, bad Joel away...

Warnings (for this chap!): abortion references and allusions, child/domestic abuse, prostitution allusions, kind of dubcon allusions (reader is misled by Jeremiah abt getting pregnant???), mentions of guns, young reader (roughly 19-20), barely legal sex work (person referenced is a senior is highschool, she's 18 but not explicitly stated), extreme dubcon for sex work (reader rlly doesn't want to do it, but is convinced), creepy scary man MDNI!!

“How’d you end up here, baby?”

You’d been asked the question about a hundred times a day since you arrived in LA, church dress tattered and knee-high socks torn. Carmen had taken you in, dragging you away from the bus stop the second you’d stepped foot off of the Grey Rabbit, exhausted from a night-long drive from Texas.

She picked you up after her shift on the street corner, so delirious from her night that she thought she’d imagined you. “You looked straight outta the gospel, kid, thought you might be my guardian angel.”

She turned out to be more of a guardian angel to you than anything else, setting you up in her overcrowded three-bedroom near Venice. Even though you’d had to share a bed with her for the first weeks of your arrival, you were happy to not be destitute.

She was the first one to ask the question, her roommate, Laura, a high school senior only a year or two younger than you, right by her side. “So, how’d you end up here, honey?” Carmen had a sugary sweet Southern lilt to her voice, different from the rural Texan accent you’d developed over the years.

You’d rehashed the night of your escape to her and Laura, from getting caught with Jeremiah in the barn to running barefoot to the cross-country bus station three miles away from the farm, lantern guiding your path.

“Dontcha think California’s a bit overkill? What is it, two thousand miles away from yer Daddy?” Carmen clearly didn’t understand the will her father possessed. He would tear apart every town within a thousand miles to find his wayward daughter, to save the child in her womb.

It had happened weeks ago, the life inside you was probably only the size of a pea; that didn’t matter to Daddy. It wasn’t easy to get condoms in a small town like yours, and even harder to get your pediatrician (an avid member of your church) to prescribe you birth control. Jeremiah had insisted it was fine, there was no risk of getting pregnant your first time, the odds were against you.

Daddy had found out the night you left, so angry he shook your body around like a ragdoll and slapped you around the living room in front of your sisters and mother. He had already chased Jeremiah away, shotgun in hand, your pleas of “But Daddy, I love him!” falling on deaf ears.

You cried and cried while he asked you to give him one good reason to not chase him down and shoot him dead. You had panicked, shouted that you were pregnant, needed him to help you raise the baby, but that had just spurred him on, made him angrier.

He was so blind with rage, yelling like a drunkard, that you managed to make it out through the front door, running nimbly through the dark woods near the house before he could catch up.

Carmen took you to the clinic the next morning, holding your hand as you walked past the bus stop from the morning before.“Poor lil’ thing, can’t go raisin’ a baby when yer just one yerself.”

You cried in the waiting room, cried in the doctor’s office, cried as it happened, cried when it was done and over with. You only stopped when the doctor asked that damned question.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” he pushed his glasses up his crooked nose, you imagined it was bent from a punch years ago, maybe a patient with more gut than you, “How’d you end up here?”

When you walked back to the house, legs achy and stomach twisting, Carmen stopped you in the middle of the sidewalk, putting her hands down hard on your shoulders, making you look up at her. “Don’t answer to nosy assholes like him.” She took her hands off of you. “Ever.” She sniffed. “You don’t owe ‘em shit.”

Two weeks into your stay, Laura set up a meeting with a friend of hers to talk about a job he had for you. It was already cramped in the little house, there were five other girls staying in the other rooms, even worse in the room you were staying in.

“I don’t know what kinda job he’s got for me, he ain’t even met me yet. Don’t know a thing about me.” Laura made sure to dress you up real nice for the meeting, styling you in the best of Carmen’s clothes, the more scandalous ones you hadn’t been stealing from her closet.

“Don’t you worry about it, doll.” She stuck out her tongue in concentration as she fixed your hair. “Harry’s not bad, you’ll get used to him. He’ll be totally into your whole farmer’s daughter thing.”

“Not a farmer’s daughter.” You grumbled back, annoyed at the prospect of meeting this Harry. Anyone who wanted to meet this late at night was surely up to no good.

“Yeah, yeah.”

Laura walked you down to the club you were meeting at, skipping the line and heading right to the bouncer. He took one look at you and the young girl next to you and lifted the velvet rope. Laura squealed at you.

Harry was easy to pick out in a crowd. He looked sleazy, like the type of guy to make wayward deals with newly legal girls. He wore gold aviators, despite the night around you and the darkness of the club. He took them off when he saw Laura, his eyes were distinctly red.

“My little Laura Lee!” He exclaimed when he saw her, reaching his arms out to pull her down on his lap and plant a deep kiss on her lips. You could see his tongue move into her mouth.

“You must be the sweet kid little Laurie was tellin’ me about.” He smiled at you, pulled you close. You could smell the liquor on his break, could see the white on his nose.

“Oh, she’s real good, Harry!” Laura hung on his arm, looking deep in his eyes. He wasn’t looking at her; he was sizing you up.

“Could lean into that whole innocence thing, I guess. If that’s your cuppa tea.” His eyes raked down your body, lingering at the short hem of Carmen’s white dress, one of her only semi-modest pieces. “You a virgin, babydoll?”

Your face heated, so angry you’re sure your ears were turning red. You stuttered at him for a second before Laura took over. “Don’t be silly, Harry! You think I’d bring you some blushing virgin?” The irony wasn’t lost on you. “She’s got loads of experience!”

“I don’t know, Laur, some’ll pay a pretty penny for an untouched one.” He took your’s and Laura’s arms, dragging you to the booth he was previously sat at.

“No, no, I didn’t bring her here to work a corner like me and Carm! She’s nowhere near ready for that typa shit!” Laura burst into a fit of giggles. “I thought you could help her out like you did Meg, maybe produce some for her, get her in with the directors, y’know.” Harry weighed his options.

“I dunno know, Laurie…”

“What the hell is goin’ on.” You gained sense of yourself again, tired of being talked about but not talked to. You should’ve laid Harry out for the question he asked you before, wished you did like Carmen had told you. You were still thinking about doing it.

Harry looked at your face for the first time that evening, eyes focused on yours, not anywhere else, even as he asked Laura, “Did you tell her? You naughty little thing…”

Maybe you were wrong, maybe the being talked about was worse than the talked to. Staring into his eyes felt like staring into a bottomless pit, felt like you were looking the Devil right in the face.

“Well, damn! I thought you figured it out! Didn’t know I needed to spell it out for a smarty pants like you!” Laura giggled again. You were getting real tired of that.

Harry spoke up for her. “It’s porn, honey.” You blinked at him, sputtered again. “No big deal. Won’t make you do nothin’ crazy.” He winked. “Not yet, at least.”

“I-I don’t, I’m not that kinda- Who would even-”

“Honey, you don’t gotta do it if you don’t wanna. Nobody’s makin’ you do nothin’.” He leaned forward on the table between y’all, forearms on the sticky wood soaked from past drunks. “It would be a real shame if you said no, though. After all the work little Laura went through to set this up for you. Betcha could make it real big too.” He scooted around the edge of the booth, saddled himself up next to you.

“You’re real pretty, y’know. Bet a lotta people would want to see you like that. I know I would.” He brushed a piece of hair behind your ear and leaned close to you. “Wouldn’t have to put Laura and Carm out any more, could get a place of your own. ‘M sure you’d be famous, you’d be a star.” His words were sounding more and more like gospel; the ideas he was laying out made your head spin.

“Really, I’m not that kinda girl. I’m a Christian.”

He groaned loud in your ear, knocking his head back in frustration. “Aren’t we all?” He grabbed the back of your neck, forcing your face centimeters away from his. You could see the cap in his front tooth. “Baby, you want this. I know you do, otherwise why would you have come. You knew all along what this meeting was for, even if you don’t think you did.” “I-I really didn’t-”

“Yes, you did. Subconsciously, you knew that the only reason I would meet a shy little thing like you was for somethin’ like this. Especially given the crowd you’ve taken to.” Maybe he was right, you knew that there would be some kind of bad business at this kinda place, this late at night.

Your eyes met Laura’s, almost having forgotten she was there. She had a big, bright smile on her face. She had taken you in off the street, had given you everything she had. She wouldn’t lead you astray.

“So,” Harry started, turning your gaze back to his, “Will you do me the honors of representin’ you. I would love to have your name attached to mine.” You nodded your head, earning a yellowed smile from the man in front of you. “But, I have some questions, some things I need to know before-” “We’ll get to that babydoll, just let me worry about all that.” He leaned back, put his arms around you and Laura. “Now, tell me, how’d you end up here, baby?”

A/N: promise we'll meet joel in next chap i'm just trying to lay the groundwork!!!! also if anyone is interested in me sharing the playlist pls lemme know i'll do it i've been listening to it to inspire me!!! also this is not beta read, if anyone would like to beta read for me i would be so honored and grateful bless it

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #the last of us #tlou #tlou fic #f!reader #fanfic #tlou au #pornstar!joel

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toxicanonymity · 11 months

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raider and lincoln x lana

I love getting song comparisons. 🖤 ik there are some i haven't posted bc i don't know them and wanna check them out first to add context like @javier-penas-wifexx420 has done here.

Raider Joel Joel saves you from his men but claims you as his own and takes you with him. Left in Lincoln (dbf x virgin) He's a neighbor your dads trust to look in on you while they seek treatment for Frank.

@javier-penas-wifexx420 asked:

DUDE ok so I remembered what someone said abt what lana songs the jolkemons are. I feel like specifically Raider and Lincoln are so lana coded. Raider is ultraviolence and Lincoln in honeymoon.

I feel like Raider being Ultraviolence is pretty understandable bc of how he his and how he treats the reader. Songs that really remind me of him are

ultraviolence- “he hurt me but it felt like true love.” “Loving him was never enough”

shades of cool- “I can’t fix him, can’t make him better”

Sad girl- “but you haven’t seen my man…he’s got the fire and he walks with it”

Pretty when you cry- OFC RAIDERS DACRYPHILLIA HE THINKS WERE SO PRETTY WHEN WE CRY

old money- “those summer nights seem long ago, so is the girl you used to call the queen of New York City” reminds me of how sweet pea is really disconnected from her old self and her old life, she belongs to Joel now so that’s like her only identity. Sad but also kinda hot🤪

“If you send for me you know I’ll come and if you call for me you know I’ll run.” Sweet pea is at the point where she’ll listen to anything he says and will do whatever he wants, she’ll follow him anywhere and honestly same.

And NOW, Lincoln and honeymoon. I feel like this one isn’t as obvious and some ppl might disagree with me but NO. Lincoln IS honeymoon. Honeymoon is one of Lana’s most treasured albums and if you really listen to it and focus on the subject matter it can be argued that it’s darker than ultraviolence. And while Lincoln Joel seems really sweet and loving, just like how honeymoon comes across, he’s actually really dark and just as dangerous, if not more than Raider. The album honeymoon describes intense and passionate love, kind of IRRATIONAL you could say. The album outlines just wanting to get away with your lover and be together forever *cough lincoln*

I feel like honeymoon displays a sort of desperation and a willingness to do anything one needs in order to be with their lover and I think that’s reflective of both Joel and peaches. Also in the music video for one of the songs on the album lana drinks kool-aid which is a reference to heaven’s gate and i feel like the whole expression of “drinking the kool-aid” is very accurate of left in Lincoln cause peaches is def drinking that fucking kool-aid.

Also honeymoon takes a lot of influence from older music styles, older aesthetics (the art deco aesthetic from the 20s) and in general older references and since Lincoln is almost 60 i feel like it fits him. Honeymoon is rlly jazzy and I’m p sure you said he likes jazz lol. Lana mentions Billie holiday in one of the songs and Joel would def play Billie holiday for peaches.

THE SONGS

honeymoon: “we both know the history of violence that surrounds you, but I’m not scared there’s nothing to lose now that I’ve found you”

Freak: “life makes sense when I’m with you. Looking back my past it all seems stranger than a stranger” THIS IS SO PEACHES BRO LIKE WHAT. Honestly freak is very much a left in Lincoln song. Anyway.

Religion: “you’re my religion, you’re how I’m livin…when I’m down on my knees you’re how I pray” very them, Joel is in charge of everything, peaches answers to him, looks up to him for everything. He’s her whole life now

The blackest day: “ever since my baby went away, it’s been the blackest day”

This song is one of the most left in Lincoln songs, I imagine this part references jessie leaving and her being all alone without him.

“Because I’m going deeper and deeper, darker and darker, harder and harder. Looking for love in all the wrong places.” After she was left in Lincoln™️ she was all alone and things got a lot darker, causing her to look for love anywhere she could find it.

24: “there’s only 24 hours in a day, and half as many ways for you to lie to me my little love” there’s a lot more lyrics in this song that are relevant but I think especially this one because it’s like wtf is Joel doing when he’s not with peaches?? And he’s obviously lying to her and I think she’s started to gain more suspicions (at least I hope so bc homegirl is IN TROUBLE)

Swan song: this one is the second to last song on the album and I think it is very relevant of left in Lincoln. The song basically says that all the two lovers need is each other. If you think about it, Joel just desires an eternal honeymoon with peaches, just the two of them together FOREVER

“Nothing could stop the two of us if that’s what we want, we could just get lost”

I feel like this could even be something Joel says to peaches. Like he’s just like as long as we’re together it doesn’t matter what happens. Also the “if that’s what we want” reminds me of Joel manipulating peaches and tricking her into thinking it’s all what she wants and she has a choice🤩

And I feel like a lot of the songs are very peaches coded: Terrence loves you, god knows I’ve tried, music to watch boys to, don’t let me be misunderstood

ANYWAYYYYY sorry for writing so fucking much I’ve j been thinking abt this for awhile esp the Lincoln honeymoon connection bc it’s so interesting and I love lana and your fics ❤️

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Toxic: This is amazing!! Thank you so much for the thoughtful analysis. 🖤 also it is killing me not to spoiler.

#lana del ray lyrics #lana del rey #lana #raider!ask #lincoln!ask #lana del slay

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intertexts · 1 day

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tell me more about dakota cole gon hunter hunter I literally know. nothing abt that anime give me ur propaganda. ramble 2 me forever and ever I wanna KNOW

I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IN FOR!!!!!!

god. okay. hunter x hunter is a shonen manga by yoshihiro togashi that's been in serialization since '98 & has had two separate anime adaptions. i'm gonna be talking abt the '11 adaption, since that's the one ive been watching! (sidenote: started hxh because of the podcast media club plus which is easily one of my favorite podcasts everrr incredibly good analysis has really affected the way i think about media analysis & criticism extremely fucking fun awesome dynamics btwn folks who are 1) very well known for having extremely good media opinions & 2) great friends who have been friends for a long time & just a delight to listen to. its a great time regardless of whether u r watching the show or not highly recommend if u ever need a new work or commute podcast etc) also disclaimer that i'm only on episode 62 of the show. so.

anyway. the hxh plot:

i will not get into the plot much because it's not as important for the dakota gon isms. but its this. ^!!

so hxh is, overall, a homage to and deconstruction of its genre tropes. togashi very much loves and enjoys a ton of the tropes he's playing with and very obviously delights in subverting just as many of them. it balances these wildly disparate tones of classic, bright candy colored shonen magical worlds and powers and big fights with genuine, seriously-considered violence, cruelty, sinister power structures and all the other heavy consequences of splashy ultraviolence. [RINGS THE PD BELL!!!] the whiplash is ridiculous sometimes-- the ease with which the show cuts from the last survivor of a genocide (kind, reasonable, soft-spoken) turning to self-destructive revenge that is quite literally destroying him from the inside out, taking an immense toll on him and his relationships with the people he loves, becoming a murderer in cold blood (& of course we spend time with the man he murders beforehand, and he's fucking awful, but also human, and has friends and shit, & it's very clear that this is something dreadful and not just a cool fight)-- to like, the two twelve-year-old main characters concocting a fucking ridiculous scheme to corner the antiques market so they get a billion dollars to buy a viddy game & one of the twelve year olds faces turns into a little >:3 kitty face whenever hes doing something sneaky & there's some cartoon ass shopkeeper scamming them, is wild. and neither of them are the "correct tone," right? the whole thing is a balance between the modes & takes them both seriously & at their own value. [RINGS THE PD BELL] so like. literally since a couple episodes into prime defenders ive been like oh, yeah, this tracks, i'm not bothered by the constant juxtaposition of stupid ass bits with genuinely serious moments, this is obviously influenced by hxh. which, like, i still can't say if that was intentional or not. but hxh is one of The manga of all time & was & still is incredibly influential (sasuke of sasuke fame is a knockoff of a hxh character btw), so i have no doubt that it was an ingredient in the mix somehow!

anyway. gon, who is literally dakota, is the protag! hes the little boy who set off to find out whats so great about cigarettes :) he is a kid who was raised by his aunt who he has a complicated relationship with after his mother was killed and his father disappeared, and he grew up in the woods and is very very strong and fast and good at fighting because he grew up in the woods!! fucking feral little creature boy who fights with a fishing rod and talks to animals and has an incredible sense of smell. gon does some shit, leaves the island, makes some friends, gets groomed by a creepy fucking pedophile which he thinks is fine, gets brutally tortured for a very very uncomfortably long time, which he thinks is fine, becomes a hunter (which is great he has awesome lines of credit now!) it's still unclear what a hunter is or does, but they have lots of power and can do pretty much whatever they want. anyway, he wants to be the best and the strongest and he loves fighting for fun, for the sake of fighting and being good at what he does!!!! and he also wants to find his dad. and definitely doesn't have any unresolved issues from the fact that his mom is dead its fine he doesn't even want to know anything about her its chill and also his dad's so cool so whatever he was doing was for sure more important than him so it doesn't matter that he abandoned him! the crux of gon as a character is that he is very silly and often kind and very much a kid, and he does not fucking care what happens to himself. he is fine with getting the shit beaten out of him by people twice his age he is cheerfully oblivious to and makes excuses for almost every single adult taking advantage of him or being just awful to him, when it's very obvious in the narrative that it is bad and not good, he's self-destructively reckless and impulsive and fixated on what he thinks is good and right and also on becoming the best and strongest even if he burns out fast and he loves his friends so so so much. and simultaneously also he's a sillygoofy kid who does dumb shit with his best friend ever (gay) n worries about his pals n stuff. its okay if he burns himself out and gets himself hospitalized for months its okay if people hurt him and take advantage of him and get off on the idea of killing him but its NOT ok if his friends even THINK about taking a risk like that >:(( head in hands. anyway. yeah. fun silly adventures strange beasts and foreign lands and wild cartoon shenanigans and very explicit horror and gore!! with often brutal and terrible consequences that leave you feeling kind of sick!!! where have i heard that before!!!!!!!!!!

#GOD. sorry. probably i fucking missed a bunch too. but. this is the overview.... dakota is gon if gon had a better moral compass. LMFAO. gon #is not known for you know. being normal. he has a moral code!!! but. yknow. shrugs. might not be objective!#anyway thank u.... goddd ive been thinking ab this for MONTHS. hxh is so good. this isnt even propaganda ur already reading worm i just lov #thinking ab this show. so good. man. catkiss.gif thabk u SO MUCH for indulging meeeeee ilyyyy <33333 #mac tag!#pd lb #and i didn't even talk about the phantom troupe. holy shit.

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