#/basic source criticism come on people | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

star-anise · 15 days

Text

are we talking about broke therapists yet?

I've been out of things for a couple of years now, which is why I'm willing to talk about it, and maybe the pandemic has helped things a little, but holy shit the counselling and psychotherapy field is not equipped to help its practitioners in the gig economy.

Of all my interests and talents, I pursued a degree in psychology because being a therapist is supposed to be a safe, stable, well-paid job. Every therapist I met who was registered before 2008 worked and lived under that assumption. And oh boy are all the fee structures--registration, supervision, continuing education, conferences--set up for that scenario.

After getting my Master's, I struggled like hell to get a job. It was especially bad because to get my license, I needed a supervisor to take me on. To take me on, most supervisors wanted me to already have a caseload and client base. To get a caseload and client base, I needed a job.

Friends: Every single job I heard back on wanted me to have my license before I could even land an interview.

Professors and career advisors and professional development specialists all advised me very earnestly to just keep cold-calling people on the supervision list, and it began to feel a lot like my parents' friends telling me to hit the bricks and hand out resumes. That's what worked for them, right?

I finally got a supervisor who agreed to take me on, and I'd be able to use her clinic for advertising and workspace, and we were doing the paperwork to send in with my registration, when she called me up and said, "Is this job going to be your only source of income? If you're trying to depend on getting clients and building your practice for your basic needs, this is not going to work out. This has to be something you're doing on top of a basic salary. Okay, so you're not working anywhere else right now? I'm sorry, I can't move forward with this."

Even once I landed a supervisor and a job building my own private practice, I struggled. I have ADHD and am not great at self-promotion, so trying to do all my own advertising, scheduling, bookkeeping, billing, and records management (on top of counselling) was an enormous strain. One my bosses, supervisors, and other senior professionals watched with a slightly critical eye, but consoled me about because in their early days, their clinics had had business managers, receptionists, filing clerks, and accountants, and getting used to doing everything online yourself was a bit of a learning curve, wasn't it?

I counted my pennies very carefully, because I had to pay my supervisor roughly $180 for their services every 6 hours of in-person counselling I did. This meant that to break even I had to charge my clients an average of about $30 (plus room rental and service fees) an hour--and my clients, being people with complex trauma, were frequently poor, disabled, unemployed, and had no health benefits, so even $10 or $20 a session was a lot for them.

Maybe it would have been easier if I could have taken some of those nice comfortable organization positions where they find clients and funding for you and you work 40 hours a week and get benefits and a pension, but I had to be disabled into the bargain, so working 40 hours a week just isn't possible for me. I start passing out from stress and exhaustion. Older colleagues gave me serious-faced advice about approaching my employer and asking them for some flexibility and accommodation in my schedule, and I tried to explain across the gap between us that employers simply did not hire me if I made the slightest noise about the workload. They weren't going to invest in me as a person; they were hiring 40 units of work a week, and if I wouldn't do it there were a dozen applicants after me who would.

At one point I broke down enough to email my licensing body because the Annual General Meeting/Professional Development Conference was coming up, and I wanted to attend, but I could not produce $500 to do it with. Was there some kind of way I could attend anyway? I felt ashamed to have to ask, and then absolutely mortified when the response came from the organization president, who needed to personally sign off on me being too poor to attend the single most important event in my profession's calendar year.

I honestly felt so ashamed all the time at how I was apparently failing to be a successful therapist, failing to be rich and successful, and every time I mentioned it around mentors and bosses, I could feel myself shrinking from a person to a problem to be solved. My closest therapist-friends and I have reflected on how much more difficult, poorly-paid and underworked, our various career starts have been than we were ever warned about. About the classmates and coworkers who couldn't get disability exceptions when they fell behind in their registration requirements, or burned out and left the field, or dropped their registrations and took up as life coaches, or moved their whole family somewhere exceptionally remote or rural because it was the only good job available, or worked for some godforsaken app skirting the bounds of malpractice like BetterHelp.

I like those conversations, because I feel less like an absolute fuck-up in them. There's less "Hey Lis, you were so talented in grad school, I really admired you, what are you doing now?" "Oh, I, uh... am professionally disabled, so I get government benefits, and I... sell embroidery patterns on Etsy now."

My own therapist kept asking if and when I felt like going back to being a counsellor, and I finally told him: I don't, actually. I don't want to go back and do it like I was doing it before. It was a profession I loved to the depths of my soul, and it profoundly did not love me back. I can't even imagine what would have to change, in me or it, to make it have a space in it that could fit me.

All of which I was way too scared to admit to at the time, because the more I let people know I was struggling, the more they hinted that maybe I just wasn't in a place in my life where this was a job I could do, and I needed to take a little break and wait to come back until money and disability just weren't issues for me anymore.

Eventually my cups of doubt and exhaustion did overflow, and I quit. I'm here now, living a much different life. And at the very least, all my years of helping people in bad life situations set me up perfectly for my own. I already knew what form to fill out for financial assistance, which student clinics to access for mental health support, and which government agency would, if pressed, cough out pharmacy coverage for the genuinely destitute. It gave me that much.

I hope this is just me being in extraordinary circumstances, sitting at the intersections of a few different shitty life situations that most people skip right past. Because it's on one level comforting, but another deeply infuriating, if I'm not, and I've just missed it or we've just all been too afraid to admit it to each other.

#staranise original #therapisting

558 notes · View notes

adozentothedawn · 2 years

Text

Since my nausea problem was solved (and I feel slightly dumb for not finding that slider but better late than never) I am keeping on with Andromeda! And yeah ahm. I see the criticism of Cora. The more I learn of her the more annoying she gets and the more I want to throw Jack (and Kaidan but a bit less) into her face.

Actually no, I want to throw Jack and Kaidan into the face of whoever wrote her, cause she deserved better.

#mass effect #for real #i like her design she looks very cool #she is unfortunately very annoying though #not that her conflict can't work at all but it was badly designed and seemed to have been written with no actual care for her #i have criticisms of both Jack and Kaidan but at least I never felt like they were being whiny about bullshit before #and again she doesn't have to like this!#in fact she should be way more mad or frustrated or something with Ryder for basically ursurping her #and the feeling of not having a place is absolutely valid #but they way she was written it just comes across Buhu I was too powerful and people were mean because I'm too great #especially because Jack and Kaidan already exist #they have the same source of their problems while being way more more interesting and angsty in their conflict #Cora just feels like they couldn't be bothered to come up with an actual conflict for the hot powerful lady

0 notes

caffeineandsociety · 1 year

Text

There's a specific genre of shitty antisemitic joke that I have seen fly under the radar (as it was designed to) a LOT more often lately - especially since Kanye started going full mask-off nazi - so I feel the need to issue a warning about it. Namely, the genre is jokes that get spread around by people who aren't willfully antisemitic because outside of conspiracy brain rot land, it appears that the point of the joke is absurdism.

As an example, let's examine the 23-and-me lizard DNA test that I've sadly seen floating around unquestioned.

Because, see, to the average person who isn't willfully antisemitic, this genre of joke comes off as nonsequiturs, or hilarious mistakes - you, as a person with some level of basic observational and critical thinking skills, living on Earth and not in whatever batshit mirror dimension conspiracy theorists think we live in, might very well end up getting a giggle out of it because, HAH, we KNEW those DNA ancestry kits were a scam! If you're not a deliberate antisemite but not really up on the dogwhistles, it doesn't scan as anything awful because you're put in mind of things like feeding a photo of something decidedly not human into that one selfie-to-anime neural net, which sometimes works and produces interesting results because the thing is looking for specific patterns and trying to make anything fit - not things like blatantly lying about doing something like that in the hopes that normies who see the absurdity and want to have a laugh at a scummy company's expense will pass it along to people who unironically believe that Jewish people are actual literal lizard aliens and the test proves it.

This is the same strategy that guy at the game awards pulled. You, a person living in reality where the main source of political corruption is just the basic consequence of an economic system that makes power pool in the hands of anyone willing to exploit enough people, a world of banal mundane evil, know damned well that QAnon-pizzagate-satanic ritual abuse cult conspiracy bullshit is, well, bullshit, if you're even familiar with the details of what they believe at all. When someone crashes the stage and thanks Rabbi Bill Clinton, you may very well laugh because to YOU it is a blatant absurd nonsequitur.

Problem is that to someone else, someone who's deep into that shit, it's either someone letting the truth slip, or someone backing the deep state into a corner - whichever is more convenient to believe.

This is one form of how the far right uses memeification (CW: the example discussed in the link is a rape "joke") - it means something totally different to the in-group than it does to the out-group. To you, it's funny because it's nonsensical; to them, it's fun because they think they're onto something huge and they're about to blow this shit wide open and it's going to be their great moment of triumph.

I cannot stress enough that no matter how absurd an antisemitic conspiracy theory sounds to you, there are people who believe it, unironically. There are people who unironically believe that Jewish people are very literally not human and no amount of evidence to the contrary will ever change their minds. There are people who believe that we're born with horns and tails and pointed ears and have them surgically altered to fit in with good Christian humans like some kind of extremely high-stakes game of Among Us. There are people who believe that we steal, ritualistically abuse, and kill Christian babies. These beliefs, while fringe enough that, yeah, most of you who this post is aimed at have never heard them in the wild before very recently, are not nearly as fringe as you probably think they are. Just look at fucking Kanye. This asshole has more fans than there are Jewish people in the world.

So I'm begging you to please, bare minimum, be careful of "absurdist" jokes about Jewish people, especially if they reference lizards, money, banking, or government power. Also, you may see Jewish people debating how religious laws may apply to fictional creatures, but outside of that context you should also be wary of any time Jewish people are mentioned in the same sentence as vampires, dragons, goblins, zombies, fantasy demons, or any number of other fantasy creatures known for greed, feeding on humans, or both.

If the reason it seems funny to you is because you'd have to be really stupid to believe it's true or makes any kind of sense - it's probably looking for you to spread it to people who are, in fact, that stupid.

#antisemitism #psa

4K notes · View notes

roll-for-gaslight · 15 days

Text

While I think Sklonda is right to be critical of the Bad Kids and specifically Kristen, I think that a lot of the reason she did so is that she was missing a lot of context the other parents were given. We see in Freshman Year that she’s often given the information about their quests from Riz, several hours after the fact, and he shares clues with her rather than personal things. He doesn’t think the personal bits are what she cares about because, for him, that’s not the problem being solved. He’s happy with his friends and she only really would hear if one of them caused a problem. Her apartment isn’t a hangout like Seacaster Manor, Mordred Manor, the Thistlespring Tree, or even Gilear’s season one apartment were. By the nature of her being a single working mother in a difficult financial situation, she often was left out of extracurricular activities.

For example, Mordred is obviously a place filled with a lot of activity, and plenty of kids to give updates on said activity if something slips through the cracks of someone’s retelling. If Adaine leaves out a personal moment because she’s focused on the case, Fig or Kristen or even Ragh could fill in that blank, plus the fact that the other BKs spend a lot of time there means that Sandralynn, Jawbone, and Lydia are usually getting every side of every story. The Thistlespring Tree is where the Bad Kids go not just because it’s a nice place to spend time, but because it’s often directly tied into a plot or subplot! The power source in season one, the satellite in season two, and Gorgug’s artificer journey + the whole Frosty Faire thing going on now! Besides that, the Thistlesprings have raised Gorgug in a way that encourages open channels of communication about his emotions above all else, so he tells them what’s going on! Fabian’s parents over at Seacaster Manor haven’t been involved so much this season, but Bill Seacaster saw their bond from the start and taught them how to take care of each other and fight as a group, and Gilear has always been heavily involved in their adventures because all of the BKs have been emotionally invested in him as well!

Aside from that, she’s missing the context of actually being able to attend their quests like some other parents/guardians were able to in Sophomore Year! Gilear and Cathilda and Sandralynn all know things like the fact that everyone was worried about Riz and called him their little angel when he was gone and that Kristen saved him almost at the expense of her own life in the Nightmare King’s forest. She never sees them together, the way they’ll risk everything for each other when the chips are down, the way they all show they care in little ways all the time ( like Fig giving him the card or Fabian’s gifts in Freshman Year). She doesn’t understand that while “the Ball” may have come from a bully on the first day of school, it turned into a term of endearment! She doesn’t see how hard they’ve been trying this year to pass their classes and such, not because it matters to them, but because they know it’s important to Riz. He never even explained the whole needing scholarships thing to them! He showed up with folders on the first day, stressed out of his mind about all of them passing together, and basically decided to get their shit together! Sure, it took Kristen and Fig a little while to do it, but that’s because they were struggling to build better habits!

I also understand how she could think Riz does all of the heavy lifting: when he presents the clues to her and he’s their lead investigator, do you think she assumed other people did the finding? Absolutely not! She doesn’t see the way they put things together by focusing on their individual strengths; she only sees Riz trying to put it all together and find the connections. Why would she know that a lot of the investigative work was done by Adaine and Kristen in sophomore year because so much of it had to do with religion? She wouldn’t!

All this to say: Sklonda is a good mom for checking in with Riz, but she also has a narrow view of things that no one else has. If she were to be exposed to the BKs more often and actually pay attention to how things work between them, I think she would be much more understanding.

365 notes · View notes

gerardpilled · 11 months

Note

I want to say thanks for acknowledging and being critical of racism done by MCR band members and racism in the scene in general. I just recently got into MCR a year ago on a deeper scale and I have found many things off putting and kind of yikes. It's nice seeing someone who is critical of what the band members have done in the past and not excusing them and addressing that it was an issue as a whole. I used to be very hateful towards Lindsey but now I realize that it would be hypocritical (I still do not like MSI just due to it not being my taste in music and I don't care for that shock value type lyrics). I was wondering if you know any resources that talk more about racism in the scene? It's something I'd like to know more about

Oh it’s no problem! Thank you for thanking me, but I don’t see myself as doing anything special. I was raised in an environment where I was fortunate enough to be around people and friends who have made me aware of implicit racism -from my self and others- since an early age. Hearing “well, that’s cause you’re white” is a playful joke but it also made me aware of stuff! Just from what I’ve seen in recent years, the shortcomings of white people who are the focus of fandom are often ignored. There’s nothing wrong with pointing out a racist thing your fave said or did because it doesn’t necessarily make them A Racist™️ (sometimes it can). It also helps people recognize the issues before they get worse. POC aren’t a monolith - there are plenty of things disagreed on amongst any community - but there are definitely over arching sentiments.

Anyway, I’m basically just reiterating a bunch of talking points made by poc on here. As for further reading, I feel like the best sources for me have been mutuals’ posts. First hand stories. Being receptive when people share how certain things make them feel. Racism in this particular scene is also sort of a new and emerging topic as the people who lived through the heart of it are just now reaching authorship age. I look forward to seeing what comes out in the next few years.

What I have right now:

My Chemical Relaxer - a short autobiographical story about growing up Black and emo

News story about how the current state of hardcore is looking much more diverse

Sing It Zine - zine made by fanartists a few years ago!! It’s great, I bought a digital copy myself. It’s filled with art and short essays about how it felt to grow up in a scene that often ignored non white people. Also a bunch of tumblr users participated, so it offers a great follow list if you’re interested.

If anyone else has any suggestions, add them in a reblog, or send them and I’ll do it!

787 notes · View notes

thydungeongal · 6 days

Text

Reminded of this ask and specifically the phrasing "narrative cruft."

Folks, I'm something of a fan of RPGs. I think RPGs are a pretty neat marriage of narrative and gameplay. I think the two are pretty neatly intertwined. If the fiction and mechanics of an RPG are in tune, I would hesitate to call the fiction "narrative cruft." It would do a huge disservice to the game.

So what is being called "narrative cruft" here? I can't say for sure but I believe the source of this ask was the recently resurfaced really smart post by yours truly where I talk about how trying to reframe the action of D&D (killing creatures and taking their stuff either as amoral tomb robbers or basically a posse of vigilantes under the blessing of those in power) as somehow aspirational may be a lost cause and how people would do a lot better to just accept the gameplay of D&D for what it is because the game itself will suffer for attempts to turn it into something it very much isn't.

Here's the thing though: D&D is very much a game about dungeons and also dragons. And I feel a lot of modern D&D players already reject that premise. Simply looking at what D&D, by its rules, says:

All characters will have to take part in some degree of resource management. At the very least they will have to track hit points throughout the day. Depending on edition and class they will have to take part in managing class-based resources. Even equipment is often consumable.

When it comes to resource management during the gameplay these games are the most opinionated about (combat and exploration) depletion of resources is very much the name of the game. You can, throughout the day, recover some resources, but often at the cost of another. Characters will generally not be gaining more resources throughout the day.

Looking at the types of creatures that are represented as adversaries in the game, most of them occupy the fictional space of "the dungeons," a type of nebulous mishmash of underground complexes, often implying some kind of underworld, or the wilderness.

I won't go further than that but these three things are actually pretty harmonious with the traditional gameplay of Town -> Wilderness -> Dungeon that is pretty much part of the game's DNA. Even D&D 5e is at its core still a dungeon game. It is very opinionated about things like "the adventuring day."

This is no coincidence. D&D is very much a resource management game, a "trying to survive in a hostile space while your resources get depleted" game. The interplay of having to make meaningful decisions between when to move out of the dungeon and back into civilization to rest and recuperate is an important part of the game. The game itself tells you this by asking the GM to take the shape of the adventuring day as a whole into account as a consideration in adventure design.

And there's a lot to criticize there: some people don't want to engage with that gameplay loop. Thankfully there are games other than D&D out there! Some people may see the gameplay loop as problematic. True, and I do think that the division of the world into effectively conflict zones and "civilization" is deeply ideological, but it's as txttletale said in that post of hers that my post was a reaction to: you can either take the media at its own word ("for the duration of Return of the King we are monarchists") or twist yourself into a pretzel shape trying to argue that the things that the text itself says about the world and game it is trying to get across aren't actually meaningful and no no the core gameplay of D&D is clearly about a plucky little found family just doing goodness.

Anyway, the way I personally reconcile is by not bringing moralism into it. At least in my opinion, "Amoral tomb robbers" and "sell-swords working for the highest bidder" are infinitely preferable to any of the ways that try to frame the action of D&D as somehow heroic, because now that there is no attempt to sell it as somehow aspirational we can actually have a discussion, during gameplay, about how the way of things in the fictional setting of the game are actually kinda fucked up.

Also if I wanted a queer take on dungeon fantasy I would play a game built with that as part of the text from the ground up, like Dungeon Bitches, and even Dungeon Bitches doesn't try to frame its dungeon-crawling disaster lesbians as somehow aspirational: they are fucked up women in a fucked up situation forced into a lifestyle that is violent and dangerous because they have chosen it over the comforts of a civilization that often doesn't treat women and especially queer women well.

183 notes · View notes

thebrightestwitchofherage · 2 months

Text

I’ve had it with ignorant anime blogs who learned the world Palestine about 5 days ago

….(through social media of course) Telling me, a Jewish Israeli women, who has been living through this conflict her entire life - that I’m wrong.

They never have credible examples yet they’re constantly asking me for proof for my people’s biggest massacre since the holocaust.

When something doesn’t fit your narrative it propaganda:

When I provide actual evidence and proof- Its propaganda.

-the sad truth is that anti Zionists believe literal Hamas propaganda

Then they move on to patronising me and making gross generalisation of an entire 10 million people country. It always something along the lines of

“Oh no sweetie you’re so brainwashed you don’t understand “. Bruh I live 2 hours away from Gaza, this is my own country, there’s been a terror attack just yesterday.

And finally- they ask for proof. I’ve come to hate that word.

Anti Zionists are a quick to believe a literal terror organisation then listen to Jews and educate themselves.

-A quick google search will prove you wrong.

-I’ve made dozens of posts about the conflict and Jewish history. All of them include *credible* sources and statistics, images , graphs, links to articles and examples.

-Al Jazeera isn’t a credible news and information source*: it’s racist, antisemitic and heavily biased. It’s filled with Hamas propaganda- they literally call terrorists “martyrs”.

*(Ive made a more detailed post about that as well )

-once again, Hamas literally live streamed their crimes.

Your ignorance and antisemitic rhetoric is showing. You lack basic understanding of history and key terms.

-you clearly don’t know what the word Zionism even means.

The fact that I found a tag saying “Zionism is terrorism”🤡🤦‍♀️

——-

As always here are some articles & posts to educate yourself:

https://www.terrorism-info.org.il/en/evidence-of-the-terrorist-organizations-use-of-civilian-facilities-in-the-gaza-strip/

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Hen Mazzig 🎗️ (@henmazzig)

instagram

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by debbie lechtman (@rootsmetals)

instagram

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by StandWithUs (@standwithus)

instagram

157 notes · View notes

mckitterick · 9 months

Text

The End Is Near: "News" organizations using AI to create content, firing human writers

source: X

an example "story" now comes with this warning:

A new byline showed up Wednesday on io9: “Gizmodo Bot.” The site’s editorial staff had no input or advance notice of the new AI-generator, snuck in by parent company G/O Media.

G/O Media’s AI-generated articles are riddled with errors and outdated information, and block reader comments.

“As you may have seen today, an AI-generated article appeared on io9,” James Whitbrook, deputy editor at io9 and Gizmodo, tweeted. “I was informed approximately 10 minutes beforehand, and no one at io9 played a part in its editing or publication.”

Whitbrook sent a statement to G/O Media along with “a lengthy list of corrections.” In part, his statement said, “The article published on io9 today rejects the very standards this team holds itself to on a daily basis as critics and as reporters. It is shoddily written, it is riddled with basic errors; in closing the comments section off, it denies our readers, the lifeblood of this network, the chance to publicly hold us accountable, and to call this work exactly what it is: embarrassing, unpublishable, disrespectful of both the audience and the people who work here, and a blow to our authority and integrity.”

He continued, “It is shameful that this work has been put to our audience and to our peers in the industry as a window to G/O’s future, and it is shameful that we as a team have had to spend an egregious amount of time away from our actual work to make it clear to you the unacceptable errors made in publishing this piece.”

According to the Gizmodo Media Group Union, affiliated with WGA East, the AI effort has “been pushed by” G/O Media CEO Jim Spanfeller, recently hired editorial director Merrill Brown, and deputy editorial director Lea Goldman.

In 2019, Spanfeller and private-equity firm Great Hill Partners acquired Gizmodo Media Group (previously Gawker Media) and The Onion.

The Writers Guild of America issued a blistering condemnation of G/O Media’s use of artificial intelligence to generate content.

“These AI-generated posts are only the beginning. Such articles represent an existential threat to journalism. Our members are professionally harmed by G/O Media’s supposed ‘test’ of AI-generated articles.”

WGA added, “But this fight is not only about members in online media. This is the same fight happening in broadcast newsrooms throughout our union. This is the same fight our film, television, and streaming colleagues are waging against the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) in their strike.”

The union, in its statement, said it “demands an immediate end of AI-generated articles on G/O Media sites,” which include The A.V. Club, Deadspin, Gizmodo, Jalopnik, Jezebel, Kotaku, The Onion, Quartz, The Root, and The Takeout.

but wait, there's more:

Just weeks after news broke that tech site CNET was secretly using artificial intelligence to produce articles, the company is doing extensive layoffs that include several longtime employees, according to multiple people with knowledge of the situation. The layoffs total 10 percent of the public masthead.

Greedy corporate sleazeballs using artificial intelligence are replacing humans with cost-free machines to barf out garbage content.

This is what end-stage capitalism looks like: An ouroborus of machines feeding machines in a downward spiral, with no room for humans between the teeth of their hungry gears.

Anyone who cares about human life, let alone wants to be a writer, should be getting out the EMP tools and burning down capitalist infrastructure right now before it's too late.

#artificial intelligence #journalism #writing #disasters #the end times #late stage capitalism

648 notes · View notes

furiousgoldfish · 7 months

Text

Did my parents use cult techniques of abuse on me?

Or, did I grow up in a cult-like environment?

Control of appearance

my parents would berate me for my choice of clothing and accessories

my parents would insult me, call me names or slurs or make inappropriate comments if I dressed in a way they disapproved of

my parents would refuse to take me places until I dressed the way they required

my parents would shame me for my appearance and say they're ashamed to be seen in public with me

my parents would require me to look similar to what they look, even if it wasn't my style

my parents would take away pieces of my clothing and destroy it if they didn't like it

my parents would blackmail me or force me to wear a certain piece of clothing against my will

my parents would physically force me into clothing they decided I should wear

my parents berated, insulted and shamed me for the length, color and the style of my hair, if it wasn't what they thought I should look like

only certain styles of clothing, hair, and accessories were acceptable for me to wear

Control of information, isolation and 'them versus us'

my parents would ask me 'where did you learn that?' whenever I would say something they didn't like

my parents would blame the school/my friends and say 'is this what they taught you?' if I didn't comply with their requests

my parents would disprove of reliable sources of information; they would insist they're right even when their information was directly against science, common sense, school or expert opinion

I was restricted or heavily discouraged from absorbing certain sorts of media (tv was forbidden, or certain books were forbidden, or the internet)

my parents were happy to expose me to information on how others live only if they were showing me worse abuse than what was going on at home. my only references were people who hurt their children much worse

my parents didn't like me spending time with my friends and would criticize those friends harshly in front of me

my parents considered anyone who isn't like them stupid, undesirable, less worthy and irrelevant, they wouldn't take in new information about them and instead considered themselves superior

my parents insisted that there isn't a place for me in the 'outside world' and that I'm only ever going to be a burden and a liability to everyone

my parents convinced me that people in the 'real world' were cruel and dangerous, and that I was likely to get killed, kidnapped, robbed, sexually assaulted or taken hostage by them

my parents believed anyone who fell victim to homelessness, addictions, abuse, poverty, illness or misfortune was stupid, worthless, lived their life wrong, and it was all their own fault that this happened to them

Control of location, financial abuse and life decisions

my parents would take any money I receive as a gift away from me

my parents would take any money I earn away from me

my parents would find a way to 'borrow' or 'keep safe' the money that was supposed to be mine, and I would never see it again

my parents would employ me to do work that would otherwise be paid work, but I would never hear about the money, they would just say it would go to 'the cost of keeping me'

my parents required me to work to 'deserve to live', I would have to do extensive physical work in order to deserve food, shelter, and basic resources I needed for school

my parents didn't give me proper working conditions, when working I wasn't allowed to complain of being tired, hungry, needing the toilet or a break, I had to work silently

my parents wanted me to work for them even after coming of age

my parents wanted me to only work somewhere close to the family (in the same town/city/district, or in a relative's home) and would sabotage me getting jobs that required me to move away

my parents threw tantrums or had extreme anxious reactions if I were to try to move somewhere away from them (insisting I'd be hurt, kidnapped, killed, robbed, sold into slavery, etc)

my parents wouldn't allow me to make life decisions on my own even when I was of age, and insisted that they know what is right for me instead

my parents would withdraw their support from me, or do intense shaming, guilt-tripping, acting hurt and betrayed and blaming me for their own bad psychological state, if I tried to make my own life decisions the way I wanted (even when I'm an adult)

if I needed to move for school/work, my parents insisted on being in as close contact as possible, they wanted me to call them daily or would call daily

I felt that my parents did not trust me to know how to take care of myself and they felt it was necessary to control all of my decisions for me, or I would go directly into my own doom

Strict patriarchal standards

my family believed that the father is supposed to be the 'leader' of the family and that other members of the family, specifically children, were to listen to his orders obediently or be punished

my family allowed the father to use extremely cruel punishments if he wasn't obeyed instantly

there was a double standard for what the family was free to do, and what the father was free to do; he could act as he pleased, but for the rest, there were strict rules of behaviour and limited freedom

while the father in the family was allowed to criticize, humiliate, guilt-trip and demand labour and resources from anyone in the family, he himself was above criticism and was not to be questioned

there was a double standard for girls and boys in my family; girls needed to be submissive, pleasing to look at, work endlessly for others and act like helpers and resources for other members of the family. boys were valued for toughness, durability, aggressiveness.

controlling, bullying and assaulting girls would be forgiven and dismissed, but girls would not be allowed to fight back.

boys were encouraged to fight and were not supposed to complain about injuries or fear physical violence at all

girls were valued for chastity, virginity and appeal to men, while boys were valued for physical strength, leadership, agression and decision making

extensive shame was put on any sexual desire, curiosity or even requests for information about sex

it was assumed that the goals for the young girls in the family was to become married and were trained for 'serving their future husband', to the point where they would be criticized and humiliated for anything 'their future husband wouldn't like'

my family did not give us any resources or information that would teach us about sex or protect us against sexual abuse

there was sexual abuse of children in my family (by adults, or by other children) and it was ignored, dismissed, either never brought to light or the perpetrators were protected if it ever was brought to light, and the entire thing covered up

Breaking (tw torture, tw murder attempts)

I was denied food or shelter if I would disobey my parents as a child

I was locked up somewhere if I would disobey my parents

I was hit, chased, threatened with violence, had things thrown at me and had people scream at me in rage if I disobeyed them as a child

I was beaten, to the point where I had marks on my body, as a punishment for disobedience

I was starved as a punishment for disobedience (my food intake was limited, a meal was withdrawn every day or multiple meals were, or my meals were less than what everyone else was allowed to have)

I was sleep-deprived as a punishment (allowed less than 8 hours of sleep at night)

I was overworked as a punishment (forced to do long or unusual cleanings or other menial labour)

I was exposed to life-threatening situations as a punishment (someone would try to drown/choke/injure me, or put me in a situation where I would likely get injured)

Punishments would not be over until I would break down unable to bear it any more and I would apologize and beg for it to stop, sometimes it still wouldn't stop

After punishments, nobody would speak to me, look at me, pay attention to me, or give me any comfort or acknowledgment, everyone acted as if I was poisonous or toxic (this is shunning)

After punishments, I would be isolated, without any human contact, for prolonged periods of time, I wouldn't be allowed back into the family until they decided it was time

I was exposed to extensive shaming and contempt for disobeying (I was told I was the worst, most selfish creature to live, that I was evil, possessed, demonic, I was called slurs, animal names, monstrous names, compared to the devil or worst humans to exist, blamed for everyone's suffering, accused of causing suffering on purpose and enjoying it)

intimate, sexual or extremely uncomfortable punishments were done to me for disobeying or talking back

I believed that the members of the family were all-powerful, and that there was no way of escaping their punishments, or for them not to find out if I've done anything wrong. I became terrified of making any mistakes and couldn't see a world where they wouldn't find out

I was scared that the family members could read my thoughts and was forbidden to think anything ill of them

Religious and Spiritual Abuse (control of thoughts)

I was supposed to accept the same religion my parents believed in, and anything else was unacceptable

I was forced to participate in church going, religious activities and rituals even if I strongly did not want to be involved

I was taught extensive religious or spiritual beliefs from the start of life, and would be judged on those standards/had to prove my faith in various ways

I was forced to 'confess' my thoughts and beliefs to a member of the family or the church, who then judged me and 'corrected' my way of thinking, telling me how I should (must) think

my place in society was dictated by my religion, if religion said my purpose is to have a family, or have children, then the only way for me to exist would be to follow that purpose

I was taught that laziness is a sin and I was to work every moment I possibly could, or I would be shamed as a sinner

I was told I was impure, sinful, that certain parts of human nature like curiosity, desire for knowledge, critical thinking and indulgence in my interests and desires was 'against god', and I had to give it all up in order to be a good person

I was taught to fear god's wrath and that punishment would come for anything that could possibly be perceived as wrong

I was taught that suffering is necessary and good for us, that the more we suffer in this world, more will we be rewarded in the next one, and that being put through extensive and prolonged pain would actually save me and give me good graces with god

alternatively, I was told that any suffering was my fault and only here because 'I didn't believe enough' or 'my faith isn't pure enough' and if I only did everything right, then I would have no suffering, no illnesses, no problems and no bad moods ever

I was told there was something demonic and evil inside of me, and had to bear punishments to 'exorcise the possession'

I was told I was so evil, selfish and demonic that I could not be loved, or could only be loved under certain conditions, and if I'm continually punished

I was introduced to a 'new age religion' or a specific spiritual belief by my family and was then groomed to participate in it long term, not realizing that it was done for a purpose to benefit a certain cause that was ultimately exploitative and deceptive

I was shamed and told I was doing harm to the world for arbitrary things, like having my own stuff, eating certain foods, participating in certain harmless activities or buying certain things

limits and restrictions would be placed on completely harmless things for which I would then be persecuted

Escape prevention

I was told that I was not capable of living in the normal world and that I would die if I ever escape

I was told I would commit suicide if I escape

I was told that the world outside is life-threatening, that people are dangerous, prone to attack, murder, rob, assault or kidnap me

I was told that I was absolutely unwanted, burden and a waste of space if I'm outside of the family

I was told there was no way for me to become a part of any other group or have a place in any social circle outside of the family

I was terrified that there would be revenge if I ever escaped, and that someone would come and attempt to take my life

(in case of escape) extensive measures were taken to try and get me to come back, I was searched for, contacted and harassed by multiple people trying to find me and bring me back home

(in case of escape) my relatives, friends, acquaintances and peers were harassed and manipulated to believe they need to bring me back and that I'm making a mistake

I was extensively shamed, told I was being cruel, in the wrong, that I needed to forgive and forget any wrongdoing, that I was doing damage and hurting people, if I ever tried to escape

I could feel that I would be shunned, everything I had would be taken from me and I would be left without any family, any resources or any safety net if I ever escape

(in case of escaping) I became shunned and unwelcome in my own family

(in case of escaping) the worst rumors and allegations were spread against me, my family told everyone made-up stories or exaggerated lies of how awful, cruel, selfish, crazy, distorted, sick and psychotic I am

(in case of escape) after escaping, I was hit with severe terror and trauma, and was barely able, or completely unable to function for a period of time, I didn't believe I would survive, and I didn't know how to function in the world

(in case of escape) after escaping, I realized I had nothing to my name, no skills for survival outside of the family, and I needed to re-learn everything, from socialization with people to financial skills and self care, I wasn't taught anything that would help me live in the outside world

*if someone other than your parents did this to you, you can substitute 'parents' by 'abuser'. Sometimes cults will cut family bonds and convince you that the cult community is your only family

If you've scored high on this list, it doesn't necessarily mean you were brought up in a cult, because cults often use tactics of domestic abuse, and the reverse is also true, domestic abusers often use cult tactics of abuse. It also doesn't mean that you weren't brought in a cult, if most of this is applicable you could potentially benefit from reading resources about cults and how they function, and how to recover from them and clear your mind of their control.

Most families raise their children in their own religion, and by patriarchal standards, it doesn't mean that it isn't religious and sexist abuse, because children are often not free to choose their beliefs or live freely of those standards. It's a societal type of 'accepted abuse'. However, you had anything from 'Breaking' category true for you, you were severely abused and someone attempted to take your free will completely from you, and take control of you. Everything in there counts as torture, is illegal, and is not in any way acceptable to do to a child, or adult, and none of it could ever be done for your own good. Also, control of your appearance, finances, information and escape prevention are strong signs of exploitation and being held hostage and used against your will. Control of appearance is mostly done so that nobody in the outer world could recognize that you're not there by your free will and as a part of that family/community, it's to make your abuse invisible and undetectable. Control of information is there to make it invisible to you, so that you can't figure out whats happening to you isn't normal.

If you've scored high on this list, it means you've been through extensive and terrifying levels of abuse, and that strong measures were taken to prevent you from escaping. This type of abuse has long-lasting effects and is not something one can easily recover from. Nobody deserved anything on this list to be done to them, every point is abuse.

#cult abuse #cults #abusive parents #child abuse #religious abuse #spiritual abuse #breaking #brainwashing #grooming #cult like abuse #cult level of abuse #escape sabotage

352 notes · View notes

paigegonerogue · 4 months

Text

With Kaitlyn Dever cast as Abby, I’m really hating how many ‘she should’ve been cast as Ellie’ or ‘they should cast her as older Ellie after the timeskip’ comments I’m seeing, especially because a lot of them are more focused on how the character looks. I’m sure she’ll do awesome as Abby, and I’m sure she’d have been good as Ellie, but c’mon! Bella Ramsey gave such a wonderful, heartfelt, haunting performance as Ellie that I genuinely believe is one of the best performances I’ve ever seen. They’ve proven that they can pull off the violence, the sadness, the humor that’s integral to Ellie’s character ten times over. Not to mention how much they’ve bonded with Pedro! Are you seriously saying that you want to replace an amazing actor with amazing chemistry with all of their costars who’s not even just nailed, but somehow even added to, the source material? Just because they don’t look like how the character does in an entirely different medium?! I’m (not) sorry, but if the thing you care about most in tlou is if you find Ellie (one of the only non-sexualized female video game characters, especially in narrative driven games like that) hot, then maybe you should seriously consider your thought process for that.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. We love Bella on this blog. We also love basic respect and human decency, so don’t criticize people’s appearances and say a bunch of rude, generally just pretty shitty things about people.

#tlou hbo #tlou #the last of us #the last of us hbo #ellie williams #joel miller #abby anderson #bella ramsey #pedro pascal #kaitlyn dever #I’m not implying that everyone who says they wanted to recast Bella is into game Ellie #but I think the point still stands #It’s really not that important if Bella looks just like game Ellie #since the character is so much more than that #And wanting to recast someone just because they look different than they do in a video game regardless of performance isn’t my fave tbh

159 notes · View notes

scarefox · 1 year

Text

The way some people straight up deny soft criticism of the BL industry (stuff that isn't even a secret if you don't close your eyes and ears!!!) Criticism by literally LGBTq people working in said BL industry in Thailand..... basically one of the only ones who's voice are most valid here in this discourse. That's not hypocrism of people working in the industry to open their mouth! That's called self-awareness and using this genre to convey a message and trying to fix issues. This is about Step by Step and Lovely Writer atm. But those are not the only dramas who brought up some critic but somehow people get salty now about that little poke from SbS? Did you sleep the past 3 years?? And it's not a coincident that it's always the same topics certain BL dramas brought up!

I feel like some people here don't get that you can criticize your own work place, your own industry, your own country WITHOUT hating, shaming or demonizing it completely! Yall need stop this black & white thinking and the constant urge to feel personally attacked by something like this...

Especially the message of LW (the same people who make SbS now) was that there is nothing wrong about loving BL stories and they do like producing them. BUT that there are some things in the industry that are bad and harmful NOT ALL OF IT, SOME THINGS! Like the treatment of actors and certain topics by companies and producers. And the main theme of LW: the toxic overstepping and overcontrolling shipping culture that can (and did) destroy real life relationships / friendships under the weight of the pretend relationship (pretend as in they are not dating for real (everyone knows that! or should know that! this is also not even a secret if you watch interviews outside of the fun and couple game shows) at least in most of the cases.... in some rare ones yes, in some very rare cases some actors actually date but they are too afraid to come out due to homophobia and the way the industry & fandom treats those cases (source Dr. Thomas Baudinette who studies the industry as a form of queer asian media and interviewed companies and actors since years... somewhere in this he talks about actor relationships, I can't find the time stamp atm))

ALSO the point about exploiting the LGBTq community is NOT about the fans or LGBTq audience who love these dramas. But about businesses and literal Thailand itself. For using those stories and actors / couples for advertising, for marketing, for tourism even. BUT at the same time some don't care for real life LGBTq issues and rights or the fact that Thailand is still not agreeing on equal marriage (which is not just about them not being able to marry but they get denied a lot of things married couples get. alone the fact that they can't see their partner in the case of an emergency in the hospital because 'they are not family'). In the said SbS scene they were literally discussing which pretend couple has the most fans and how they could use their fandom and fan clubs to gain profit. Don't you guys get how fucking frustrating this is for the LGBTq people and allies who work in the BL industry, to get paraded in front of the camera for money and image but still don't get treated equally??? THAT is what they mean with exploiting.... And it's a lot of producers, writers and some actors who voice those points, not just these few self-aware BL dramas. But doing it through the medium they adress is the best way to reach the right people, to make the right people aware and ask for their support. Since they can't say such things directly (even though they should) unless they want to lose their job, they still like to a degree.

And I am sorry but the opinion of actual thai people who are inside that industry is more valid than some random fan who just doesn't want to understand those things in order to enjoy their shows without feeling bad.... What if I tell you that you can do both and that this is not about shaming you or making you feel guilty (unless you participate in toxic overstepping behavior or are actually LGBTq-phobic, then yes feel guilty)! Acknowledging issues, supporting to fix those issues and still have fun with these dramas and actors.... Those things can and do coexist and nobody said otherwise!!

#damn i said i stay away from discourse and I am not here to discuss but I have to say something about this since I saw some bs #sorry my patience is very thin the past months and I am so damn tired of stupid discourse #rant #bl drama #bl actors #step by step the series #Tee Bundit Sintanaparadee #tee bundit #salt post

496 notes · View notes