important!!! (tw: calories)

please remember to eat enough to fuel yourself. 

your brain alone uses 500cal every day. 

on top of that; breathing uses energy, moving uses energy, speaking uses energy - and so even at 1500 calories a day you will loose weight. i’m not telling you to eat lots, i’m not saying you need to recover and eat normally, i’m telling you that it’s more than okay to eat over 500 calories a day (heck, eating about 1200 calories will help you loose more as it affects your metabolism less), and that you can eat more than double that and still loose weight. i don’t need you to be healthy, i just need you to be safe <3

Recently volunteered as a participant for an eating disorder study on genetics! If you’ve a suspected or diagnosed eating disorder you f any kind please see if you can help out in this study! Research into eating disorders helps further improve treatments <3

I’m back in school now and the anxiety it’s caused me is making me relapse. All I wanna do is go there to learn, I don’t go there to be shouted at, to be controlled where I walk and what I do or when the fuck I can use the bathroom…like seriously fuck off.

Hey loves ( ^ω^ ) I made another subliminal!

I’m finding subliminal’s to be a great way to take part in ED behaviours but in a less dangerous way

It’s got the song Not Allowed by TV girl overlaying the subliminal’s <3

I hope you enjoyyyyyyy

Anyway here’s the link!

Today was the first day in a long time that I thought about cutting again, thought about wether it would be better for those around me if I left this world. I don’t know why but I can’t stop fucking up..I mean I fuck up again and again… I seem to just make those around me disappointed, sad, angry…but hey it’s fine this is where anorexia is my sweet friend, numbing my hurt through hunger pains and calorie counting.

Anyone got any tips on how to not eat when you live with someone?

Like how to get away with not eating?

Hey! ❤️ made another subliminal, this one is a perfection subliminal so naturally weight loss is most definitely included ☺️...feel free to check it out, or not..do whatever you want to!

https://youtu.be/4JybRKVzpXI

Life is the biggest bitch.

I mean what the actual fuck.

In the past 3 weeks I’ve been told I have to start college all over again but cuz covid completely fucked me over with exam cancellations (I’m home schooled so no grades were sorted out for me) I can’t fucking get into college, had a family member commit a fucking murder, my partner who makes most of money so that we can survive might lose his job tomorrow, and now me and my entire family are scared my farther committed suicide.

I don’t even know where to begin..

My head hurts

I feel like I can’t breathe

Im passed the point of being mentally not okay anymore, I’ve become fuzzy

Just fuckkk

7/5/2021

Today on, my psycho farther:

I came home today to the locks being changed. Why? Because is ex is plotting to murder him! Yup that’s what he has decided. He told me photo “proof” that she is going to kill his dog it was literally just a series of photos of his dog and then a picture without the dog in it. He thinks there’s cameras around the house as well. He even told me to be careful going on a dog walk as she way steal the dog and kill him.

What do I do... do I report him, saying he’s sick. Do I let him keep on and just hope he gets better?

I’m rather quite stressed.

I’m going to create a little series on my page where I rant about my psycho farther!

Today on my psycho farther (26/04/20210):

Sooooo,visited him today after a week, where he informed me that he’s having his girlfriend over who a week ago he told me that “the relationship is over, because she slept with her brother in law (a week before that she was sleeping with her friend) and because she was apparently trying to murder him by pushing him off a cliff. And then made me set up my old phone to give to him because he’s sending his phone off for a while to clear it because he thinks it’s been hacked.

Thanks for the last reply :) what are the messages in the one you created?

I can’t say the exact ones cuz then it’ll ruin the effect but I can give you an idea of what they are ☺️ they’re messages like “I burn calories very fast, I don’t want to eat, my body does not need to hold into fat” 

How do subliminals work?

Sublimates work by implanting messages into the subconscious mind, when then eternal sensory stimuli ( not fully sure was exactly this is) will be triggered for our body to react to. In a bit more simple terms our body will start to think that the messages from the subliminal are messages from our brain so our body will do as the messages says. Hopefully this helps, there’s a tonne more information about it out there. I’ve been practicing it for a few years now and I do find it really interesting how it works.

Hey! I made a weight loss subliminal as most of them either don’t contain good enough messages for drastic weight loss or have awful music (this one is prom queen by beach bunny, you know the one 😉😉😉) check it out if you use subliminal’s to help lose weight.

If you are new to subliminal’s you can always dm and ask any questions. Have fun and stay safe!

https://youtu.be/Ixrtp3KgUyk

Shout out to the rexys (and others obviously) this Easter. Easter is a difficult time for those struggling with a eating disorder as it is now a days focused on food, especially Easter eggs which is a bit of a tricky one cuz they’re made out of many of ours fear food, chocolate.

It’s really difficult being given something that you’re so scared of by someone who’s intentions are nothing but to show love.

We got this though ☺️ little pieces at a time over a long period of time and we’ll get through this without becoming obese 😁😅

I don’t remember where I saw this but I screenshot it months ago and am now posting it here cuz this really hits home right now.

TW: eating disorders, self harm, abuse

I’m mostly happy in life right now, as for the majority of it is so beautiful. I was doing so well in recovery when my dad started getting bad again. His actions hurt so much, can he even help it? I don’t know. All I know is that I want to fucking starve myself, i want to start cutting open my wrists again as they’re already completely utterly ruined anyway from the years of mutilating them. I want to be so starved that I faint and can’t get up, I want people to see blood running down my writs to see if they actually care. Am I insane for this?



Using this place to rant ^^

I feel like my friend is using me, we’ve been friends for four years now, he helped me through my darkest times in the past but this past year it seems like he only wants anything to do with me when it’s convenient for him. I do favours for him, I listen to him complain about relationships he doesn’t truly care about...what I get in return? One word responses. Just today I gave him something so he could test something out before spending money on it because it’s isn’t fucking cheap, what did he do? He took it and didn’t even thank me. I mean fuck, this bellend doesn’t even tell anyone that he’s friends with me cuz he’s embarrassed he even knows me.

Hello darkness my old friend