ssb-outofcontext
Incorrect Super Smash Bros. Quotes
They may be incorrect, but doesn't mean they're not accurate. SUBMISSIONS ARE ALWAYS OPEN!!!
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Joker: Hey guys, what's up? I was thinking about having a competition for who has the best gun. *mumbles* Which is obviously me...
Fox: I'm up for the challenge. *shoots blaster*
Joker: That's fun, I guess it could be menacing in a melee battle.
Samus: Oo! Oo! What about me? *shoots gun excitedly and electrocutes Jigglypuff* Oops, sorry!
Joker: Be careful of bystanders...
Falco: *flies in through a giant backflip and shoots gun while spiraling through the air, landing perfectly afterwards* Ha, piece of cake.
Wolf: *shoots giant purple laser into the air and grunts*
Joker: Tch, no need to show off.
Joker: Here, let me show you how it's done.
Joker: *takes out gun and pulls the trigger*
Wolf: Uh... nothing happened, bud.
Joker: Wait-what the hell? But I thought I was able to shoot it! This is a cognitive world, isn't it?
Fox: I have no idea what that means, but by your reaction I'm gonna say no.
Samus: And it's pretty obvious that you're holding a toy gun in your hand.
Joker: Shit.
Samus: Child! Watch your language.
Joker: Sorry, this place kinda gets to me.
Joker: This is lame. I'm going to sleep.
Falco: Aw, is the little kid tired? Do you need someone to tuck you in?
Joker: Shut up. I need some rest.
#super smash bros#super smash ultimate#persona 5#joker#wolf o'donnell#fox mccloud#falco lombardi#samus aran#zero suit samus#persona 5 protagonist
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just a silly and unimportant doodle
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Mario: I had a hard childhood.
Little Mac: Oh? Why?
Mario: My mother was murdered by a drug dealer.
Luigi: Mom killed herself.
Mario: She was a mushroom dealer.
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Inside the process of video game writing
Mario: icon of all video game series. about a plumber who steps on "bad" mushrooms and turtles and kills a big spiky turtle hundreds of times to save a princess over and over again, in exchange for a kiss. They also play Golf, Tennis, and have parties together in their free time.
Donkey Kong: King Kong and his buddies vs. Pirate/Scientist Godzilla
The Legend of Zelda: a bunch of reincarnations of the same guy that's a knight who's greatest weakness is a flock of chickens tries to save a bunch of reincarnations of the same girl that's actually a goddess and princess (obv)
Metroid: a bunch of humans are in space now and kill aliens for some reason. also samus is a ball
Yoshi: a spin off series about a dinosaur that eats enemies and then poops them out as eggs. he is killing them, chewing them up, and then rebirthing them in egg form, and then proceeds to destroy that egg. looks are deceiving.
Kirby: a random alien being that looks like a ball eats anything that comes into his path and absorbs their soul to steal their "unique" abilities.
Star Fox: furries in space fight each other and then a giant monkey/ brain/robot appears at the end
Pokémon: you've probably heard this joke way too many times for me to say it, PETA
Earthbound/Mother: basically a bunch of kids with magic powers go on an RPG acid trip
F-Zero: buff men and women in space race cars also James McCloud cameo 😎
Ice Climbers: random old game with two siblings that jump and hit polar bears with hammers (also super fun to play as in smash)
Fire Emblem: anime swordsmen/women fight in midieval wars with their lumberjack, archer, cleric, and paladin sidekicks. every villain has a self-insert dragon oc
Game & Watch: man tries to pay his rent by getting any job he can throughout the city without getting fired
Kid Icarus: a small angel that can't fly without the help of a goddess is able to defeat all powerful gods and goddesses with a fucking bow and arrow
Wario: fat, stinky man who likes minigames and pretty much just wanted his own series
Metal Gear: man who fought single-handedly for America in the cold war and kills his mentor gets cloned because he's just so great, creating solid and liquid versions of himself who fight each other. and nanomachines.
Sonic: hedgehog saves animals by fighting animals and a scientist. only has a few relevant games apparently
Pikmin: man goes to space and captures small aliens to help him look for treasure
R.O.B.: not a game series. just a friendly robot
Animal Crossing: Child moves away from home to live with actual animals and pays loans by collecting and selling random shit.
Mega Man: robot shoots robots
Wii Fit: the one video game that your mom used and you didn't
Punch-Out!!: abnormally small man beats the shit out of professional boxers
Super Smash Bros.: the better alternative to avengers: infinity war
Pac-Man: 5/6 of a circle eats cherries to kill ghosts
Xenoblade Chronicles: swords are people now
Duck Hunt: dog laughs at you as you fail to shoot ducks. very fun much realistic
Street Fighter: random karate matches around the world, with many wacky stereotypical character designs
Final Fantasy: I'm not even gonna try.
Bayonetta: sexy witch looks for her right eye
Splatoon: squids take over the human race and become the dominant species. they build their own society and shoot each other with ink
Castlevania: a family of Christians fight monsters, specifically vampires
Persona: "Kingdom Hearts" but taken literally
#super smash bros#mario#donkey kong#zelda#metal gear solid#star fox#fire emblem#kirby#mega man#pac man#sonic the hedgehog#earthbound#mother#wii fit trainer#street fighter#castlevania#splatoon#bayonetta#ice climbers#metroid#f zero#pokemon#game and watch#rob#animal crossing#xenoblade#kid icarus#persona 5
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joke: snake is a dumbass for thinking the box would protect him
woke: snake already escaped and the box was a decoy
bespoke: in mgs3 big boss said that the box gave him inner peace when he entered it. snake chose to die in the box so he could die peacefully.
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Ness: Guys! Someone released the game early! They're leaking the whole thing!
Zelda: Oh no!
Bayonetta: Damn.
King Dedede: [grumbles and stomps foot]
Isabelle: No! It's all ruinedddddddddd...
Marth: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
[Everyone looks to stare at Marth.]
Ike, coming in behind him: Wait, what are we freaking out about?
[Master Hand floats in.]
Master Hand: Fighters, we have some unfortunate news—
Everyone: We know.
Master Hand: Even all of the cutscenes. That was something we tried to avoid in another story mode, and now it seems to be a worse situation than before. World of Light is not going to be as exciting as we thought.
Bowser: Damn, and I got so into character for that part! [pouts]
Master Hand: I'm especially sorry for you, Kirby. Your time to shine is for naught.
Kirby: Poyo! (Eh, it's fine. I'll have plenty more oppurtunities in the future. I'm the boss' son, so I should be good. As for the rest of you, good luck.)
Cloud: Who the hell cares...[bites on his thumb as Peach tries to console him]
Master Hand: As for the next two weeks, we need to shut down anyone who speaks of the game's unreleased content. For the sake of us, the fans, and Sakurai-sama.
Wolf, sharpening claws: Don't worry. I'll take care of those bastards...
Simon: They'll be sorry they went against our Lord's willing, those monsters!
Little Mac: I'll punch the living daylights out of anyone who dares to defy all of our hard work. Only in the ring, of course.
Mario: Let's-a go!
Everyone: Yeah!
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Meta Knight: Everyone over 5’5 doesn’t deserve love.
King Dedede: What?! Didn’t hear you all the way up here! Do you need a ladder?! I can get you a ladder, little boy!
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Pokémon Trainer: Are you a leather jacket, flannel, or hoodie bi?
Link, wearing all three at once: Uh
Pokémon Trainer: To be fair, I shouldn’t have asked a bisexual to make a choice.
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Master Hand: Survey question: How can you pad out the time of your brother's funeral?
Richter: Ask everyone in attendance to chant your brother's SAT score over and over for 30 minutes.
Mario: Have the pallbearers carry your brother's casket in a victory lap around the room whenever you mention his name.
Sheik: Ask everyone to wait until their cell phones die in order to avoid any interruption during the service.
Corrin: Ask your sister to stand and name every one of your brother's possessions she can think of.
Bayonetta: Have everyone come up one at a time to help themselves to one of your brother's many issues of Maxim magazine.
Peach: Go into detail about how your brother would have loved every piece of decoration at the funeral home.
Robin: Tell the entire story of your brother's life in the first, second, and third person.
Inkling: Have everyone come up and sign their names on your brother's body.
Snake: Have everyone wait while you DM every member of Metallica to see if they'd give your brother some parting words.
ROB: Allow a Blendtec representative come in and do a product demonstration.
Mewtwo: Have everyone go outside and decorate the hearse for the funeral procession.
King Dedede: Spill an entire bag of potato chips into your brother's casket and have everyone sing hymns while you run to Target to buy a hand vacuum.
Pac-Man: Finish a three-quarter gallon of milk that was left in your brother's fridge, and run to the bathroom to vomit six times in the process.
Little Mac: Ask one of your brother's lifeguard friends to come and try to perform CPR one last time.
Ridley: Spend ten minutes of the eulogy speculating that in the future, aliens will take over the world and feed upon your brother's corpse.
Lucas: Get into an argument with the funeral director about who loved your brother more, even though he insists that he's never met your brother.
Link: Invite your brother's Van Halen cover band to play a full set and don't say anything when they start back at the beginning again.
Samus: Ask for a 25-minute moment of silence.
Mr. Game & Watch: Conclude the funeral with a video tribute that just replays the funeral in real time.
Wolf: Come up and force the owner of your brother's favorite sushi restaurant to describe your brother's physical appearance from memory.
Pit: Deliver the entire eulogy as a call and response with your other sibling.
Captain Falcon: Let everyone take turns driving the hearse to the cemetery.
Wario: Have the funeral procession stop at your brother's house so everyone can go into his closet and have one last whiff of his smell.
Villager: Hold a hand-on-the-coffin endurance contest for a chance to win your brother's dog.
Master Hand: ... And how many of you actually have brothers?
Isabelle: According to my calculations, like... maybe four?
#super smash bros#source: clickhole#ssb out of context#ssbu#ssb#super smash ultimate#super smash quotes
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Palutena: Does your mom know you snack this much?
Lucina, munching on some Cheetos: No. And I don't want her to either, so don't. say. anything. [glares above the bag]
Palutena: Oh, no need to worry. I try to avoid any conflict with her. Not since she gave me that chemical peel.
Lucina: Well, it wasn't so much chemical. And not so much peel. She set fire to your hair.
Palutena: It's a good job I'm divine; well, except for my shoulders.
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Falco: hey
[waits for text back]
Fox: hey sorry i was busy
Falco: i sent that 2 years ago
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Peach: Daisy, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Daisy: No, Peach, it makes you look like a prostitute that caters exclusively to clowns.
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Snake: Otacon, I would shave my head for you.
Otacon: A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year.
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Rex: [makes himself and Pyra in a Smash leak]
Rex: [to himself] Nope, it's not Shulk! It's Rex! Equally handsome, equally skilled in combat.
[Pyra walks in and winks]
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Bowser: Hey, I want to set you up with my daughter.
Marth: Oh, I have a wife.
Bowser: I thought you were gay?
Marth: Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
Bowser: I don't know.
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Pokémon Trainer: I-impossible! Everything is sold in Pokémarts!
Sonic: Mr. Red, I think it's high time you went shopping for a better excuse..?
Pokémon Trainer: Hmph...
Sonic: Oh? Excuses not on sale in the Pokémart?
Pokémon Trainer: Excuse me?! Hmph! [summons Pokémon team] What's it to you, Cyndaquil?!
Sonic: [muttering] Actually it's Hedgehog...
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Tabuu: Now, Zelda. I believe I'll take what's mine. The papers.
Zelda: Sorry, I can't give you what I don't have.
Tabuu: Princess Zelda, you are a poor liar. Why I see him over there. That's Kirby who swallowed those papers.
Zelda: ...! How could you-?
Tabuu: Hoho! You are not cogniferous of my background?
Tabuu: Destroying all you worthless fighters is my goal, you see.
Zelda: Damn, I should've hidden him.
Tabuu: Hohoho! My dear Princess, I'm sorry but I must ask you for one more thing... your eternal silence.
Kirby: [turns evil] [pulls out hammer]
Zelda: You've gotta be kidding me.
Kirby: [wacks Zelda into the voids of space]
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