Levi: what do we do now?

Asmo: we need an adult

Mammon: i’m an adult

Levi:

Asmo:

Asmo: we need a different adult

Satan, first day as a vet: What’s the problem?

Cat: meow

Satan: Yes but where?

[Beelzebub while Mc is on earth]

Satan: Hey, Beel

Beel: Mc used to call me that…

Satan:

Satan: Because that’s your fucking name.

Mc: *sneaks into house at 2am*

Lucifer: *turns into swivel chair* care to tell me where you were?

Mc: I was with… Uh… Mammon!

Mammon: *also turns into swivel chair* Care to- *keeps spinning* Lucifer I can’t stop the chair.

Mammon: You know what your problem is? You're really hot, so no one ever told you to shut your stupid mouth.

MC:

MC:

MC: You think I'm hot?

Mammon: ...Fuck

Humans? Humans are weak beings that struggle to move on and continue their daily routine. They have their own moments; moments when they're happy, when they're satisfied, when they're excited, when they're sad, when they're depressed, when they're stressed. It was one of those moments for you too. A lot has been going on lately and you were struggling, just like a normal human would do. Having to deal with everything in your life was not so easy and since you always wanted to show how strong you were, now it was the end. You couldn't bare with it anymore, it was so hard to keep the strong composure you always had. So, without thinking twice you just went in your room and decided to lay down. One day, two days... one week. You just kept having this weird behavior and it was making Lucifer worried. It's been a week since his little Y/N has stopped going out, has stopped eating properly and has stopped caring about anything at all. A knock was heard in your door but you didn't have the energy to answer or to get up. "I'm getting in." Lucifer warned and waited for a few seconds. No answer was recieved, so he had no choice other than to get in. He felt his heart clench at the sight of you. A mere weak human being laying down. You looked at him, but nothing came out of your mouth. Lucifer felt guilty. He felt guilty for not being there for you all this time. Not a single word came out of his mouth either and you just blank-stared at him. Without hesitation, Lucifer reached out and took you on his arms. It wasn't something unusual, but you finally started to relax. "I am here for you." He said, running his hand through your hair. You closed your eyes, obviously feeling slightly better now.

Kinda part 2 of this

Your boyfriend's sobs were heard again. One sob, an other and an other but no one seems to approach him. "Y/N!" Mammon shouts. "Ya promised me." He says, choking on his own words. "Ya promised to never leave me! So where are ya now?" No answer. Placing both of his hands on the face, he starts moving back and forth. "Why?! Why?! Why did ya lie to me? Why did ya leave me? Come back please, I-I can't live like this." This time he decides to be brave and actually look at you. "I love y-ya." Mammon lets the tears make their own way down his face as he places a hand in your gravestone. You were gone...

You wake up due to your boyfriend's sobs. You hurry into the bathroom and see him in there all wet because he apparently had just taken a shower. "Y/N help me." Mammon says, sobbing. "I'm right here baby." You say softly while rubbing his back. "Y/N please don't ever leave me." He keeps going, his voice slightly cracking. "Sweetheart I'm not going anywhere. I will never leave you." You whisper as he quickly dives into your arms. You both stay there for a while until you get up and help him get back into bed. Mammon buries his head into your chest while you play with his hair. Eventually, his tears turn into light snores. "Good night baby, I love you." You say quietly.

Part 2

You're in Levi's room, laying on his bed while he's playing games. "You're so bad." You chuckle. "Oh yeah? How about you show me your skills?" He replies. "Okay bet." With that said, you jump off the bed and walk over to him. Levi pats his lap with his hand, signaling you to sit on him. You sit and he gives you the controller. You start playing and you're so focused that you start jumping around, trying to avoid losing the game. All of a sudden, Levi holds you still by your waist. "Y-Y/N don't play with me..."

Mammon: I AM TELLING YOU. I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON MC.

Asmo: *smirking* I never said I was talking about Mc.

Mammon: I...Uh... I-I... That's not fair!

Mc: Another place, another time, we might have fallen in love.

Belphie: That's okay.

Mc: ...It is?

Belphie: Yep! *glances at his clock*

Belphie: Follow me.

Mc: *follows Belphie for a few metres before stopping because he stopped*

Belphie: How about here and now?

Mc: This works *embraces Belphie*

Mc, on a phone call: Hello, yes?

Random demon: I see you...

Mc: That's normal, you have eyes.

Random demon: No, I'm watching you!

Mc: Because you have eyes.

Random demon: I'm a killer.

Mc: Hello killer, I'm a human.

Random demon: I will kill you!

Mc: What- I will human you too.

Random demon: [declines phone call] I hate my job.

Levi *randomly one night*: Do fish feel wet all the time?

Belphie:

Belphie: I'M TRYING TO SLEEP

Levi: Sorry, sorry

Belphie *one minute later*: OH MY- DO THEY?

Levi: I know, right!

Mc: The food is too hot, I can't eat it.

Mammon: You're too hot and I still eat you.

Mc: [blushes]

Mammon: [winks]

Lucifer: One dinner. I just want ONE DINNER.

Lucifer: That's it! You're all in trouble. Mammon, no Goldie for you, Levi no games for you. Satan, no books for you, Asmo no parties for you, Beel no more exercise for you. And Belphie... is there anything you actually love?

Belphie: Murder.

Lucifer: No murder for you.

Belphie: I was gonna say "I'll kill you" but I guess that's off the table right now.

Mc: Most of the things we as the human race say end up wrong, you know

Diavolo: Okay, elaborate

Mc: Well, just for example, nothing is on fire, fire is on things

Diavolo: ...Oh- [sits next to Mc to contemplate life]

Random demon: How many children do you have Lucifer?

Lucifer: Biologically, legally or emotionally? Because there is a difference.