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sarahkartika · 5 months

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Unwanted Adventure

“Have you met anyone who lives there?” I asked my friend. We were strolling around the quiet town while eating ice cream. It was so hot today that I had to give up using my favorite jacket. My hair was tied up, and I borrowed my brother’s shorts. Summer this year was scorching; I believed that if I cracked an egg on the ground, it would cook just fine.

Mia looked at the building in question.

“Nah, never. Why?” Mia seemed uninterested. “People said there is a ghost living there to guard something precious.”

Mia rolled her eyes. “Again with ghost stories, Jeanne.”

“Well, aren’t you curious?” We stopped in front of the collapsed wooden gate.

It was a beautiful old building, a two-story house with large windows on every corner. I could imagine it when it was lively, with children playing around the house. However, 10 years ago it was abandoned by the owner for unknown reasons. They just left it there until it looked like that. The gate was collapsing, some of the building was ruined, and once a beautiful garden was now full of tall bushes.

“Jeanne, ghost stories are not my favorite, you know.” Mia wiped her sweaty forehead while frowning in the burning sun.

“Don’t you want to find out about that precious thing? Because I do.” I tried to persuade Mia to enter the house and have an adventure together. First of all, I didn’t really believe in ghosts. Secondly, I was curious about what kind of treasure was inside that abandoned old house. Who would not?

“Okay, I will join you, but let us prepare things before doing it, and you owe me snacks for a whole week!”

“Deal! How about tomorrow evening? Maybe around 7?”

“Alright.” That was a quick deal. She was pretty easy to persuade as long as there was food involved.

We went home around 5 in the evening, famished and thirsty after that long walk from the convenience store. I took a long cold bath before having dinner with my family.

“Mom, what’s for dinner?” I sat down and turned on the TV, changing channels and getting bored. Instead, I annoyed my mom, who was cooking in the kitchen.

“It’s curry. Prepare the table, will you?” She wasn't annoyed by my antics and just calmly cooking spicy and delicious lamb curry.

“Okay.”

My brother came to the dining room and raised the volume of the TV. He looked quite interested in tonight's news.

“Tonight’s highlight. Police found a lead to the missing robber who murdered their victims by burning their target’s houses. Police warn all citizens to keep all doors and windows locked at all times to prevent unwanted circumstances.” Said the beautiful anchor.

I ate my dinner while watching the news. That was a terrifying occurrence. How could the police let the suspect free? That was some lousy job if you asked me. Knowing there was a dangerous man walking freely while aiming his victim's houses and then burning them after confiscating their belongings, that was a nightmare.

“Are you going to that house tomorrow, Jeanne?” My brother suddenly asked me.

“Yep. why?...and how do you know?”

"Just a hunch." My brother, George, lied through his teeth. I knew it was Mia's brother who told him about our night adventure.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Jeanne.” My mom joined the conversation.

“But I promised Mia to go, and it’s only on the second block. It’s quite close to home.” I insisted on going. I already imagined the adventure I would have with my best friend. I even thought about what we would find tomorrow. It could be jewelry, ancient treasure, somebody's diary, who knows.

“I will join you.” He said.

“I don’t mind.”

My mom seemed to relax a bit after he said that. Well, my older brother was a decent man if you asked me. He always got in the top three in his class. He was also a karate champion. So, no wonder my mom relied on him to keep me safe. As long as he didn’t tell me to do things I didn't want, I was okay with him joining the adventure.

I put everything I needed in my backpack; a flashlight, snacks, drinks, pepper spray, and things that I thought would be useful. I slept soundly that night while imagining what kind of treasure I would find tomorrow.

We met up in front of the gate. I wore long pants and a long-sleeve shirt just because tonight was pretty chilly. Mia was so prepared with her sweater and her new sneakers. It was a full moon and the sky was pretty clear with all the sparkly stars. I would say today was a good day to do some adventure. I was so excited and could not wait to enter the house.

“Hi Mia.” I waved my hand.

“Hi Jeanne. Hi George, I don’t know you also like this kind of stuff.”

“Just kinda curious. Besides, she’s pretty clumsy.”

“Not polite George. I can keep myself safe, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Mia just laughed.

We looked at the house. It looked so scary at night. However, it didn't make me hesitant to get in. Rather, I was so impatient to start the escapade.

We walked together and arrived at the 3-meter tall wooden door. It looked so majestic with handcrafted lotus flowers all over the surface. We opened it slowly and it made some crackly sound.

“That was loud.” I said.

“Well, of course. I can say that we are the first ones to open this door after 10 years.” George explained.

We walked inside carefully and turned on my flashlight. We reckoned to only turn on one of our flashlights to save the battery. Safety first.

The interior was pretty pretentious for an old building. I could say the owner was quite wealthy by looking at all the items in this living room. There were satin sofas, large patterned carpet, unnecessarily many huge vases without flowers, and one giant shiny chandelier.

“Wow, everything looks so expensive.” I was amazed. I guess these items alone were categorized as treasure.

“I wonder why all these items are still here; I think all of them are still useful and not abandon worthy.” George stated his thoughts. I silently agreed with him. I wondered how much I could get from selling everything here.

Mia kept walking around the sofa and looked so confused. She only focused on that sofa and I almost thought she wanted to take it home with her.

“What is it, Mia? I asked curiously.

“This is weird; the sofa looks quite clean despite being abandoned for a decade.”

We approached said sofa and she was right. It still looked old and dull, but it was not dusty as if someone had been sitting there some time ago. That thought gave me shivers down my spine.

We looked at each other and became quieter than before.

“It’s not too late to go back.” Mia said while pointing out the front door.

“But we just arrived, let’s explore more.” I insisted and took her hand.

“Alright, but we have to keep our voices down and if anyone sees something unusual, speak up.” said George.

We agreed and kept walking deepee, reaching the stairs. We climbed to the second floor and the sight was getting creepier. There was so much garbage everywhere like empty bottles, cigarette butts, bitten bread, and other consumed items.

“I don’t think it was a ghost who lives here, Jeanne.” Mia whispered. I nodded.

We didn’t stop exploring and entered one of the rooms. I guessed it was the main bedroom because we could see the king-sized bed and rummaged cabinets. The room smelled awful like a public toilet in the station. Was it due to the abandonment for so many years?

“You fart?” I whispered to George.

“I didn’t.”

While exploring the bedroom separately, Mia suddenly froze, and I could see her eyes widen. I approached her and asked what was wrong.

She was pointing out something in the corner of the room near the window.

There was a skinny male corpse lying beside the bed. I didn't see it at first because of how bony the corpse was. George came towards the corpse and crouched to examine it.

I tried to calm Mia down by offering her my jelly drink. She sat down on the floor while drinking sloppily. I felt sorry for her because I knew that the grotesque image would stay in her brain for a long time.

“I think he died of starvation. Both of his legs were broken. My suggestion is that he died 12 hours ago.” George, a medical student, explained.

“From what he was wearing, I judged he was that missing robber from the news.” George added.

Say what now? That was a shocking discovery from this adventure.

“No way. So, he ran away to our neighborhood?!” I could not believe this. I wanted valuable treasure, not some creepy dead body.

“I guess so. Look, this is his belongings.”

I looked at said backpack. Inside, there were some jewelry, watches, laptops, cellphones, rope, a lighter, and a large container filled with gasoline.

“So, while running away, he broke his legs but he managed to find a shelter. Then, his legs got worse and rotten. After that he died due to starvation?” I tried to conclude what might happen to this man. That was a tragic assumption if I must say.

“I think that story fits.” George said calmly.

After that, our adventure ended with George calling the police to report the discovery. We elaborated everything to the police and returned home safely. Mia said she would not be able to sleep for several days ahead because she could not forget the face of the corpse. To be honest, It was not the adventure I wanted. However, we were relieved that a harmful robber was found early so that we would not live in fear anymore.

#shortstory #just for fun #writers on tumblr #writing #creative writing #story #fiction #originalwork

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sarahkartika · 1 year

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Personal Fav Songs

Numbers don't mean anything, I love all these songs equally and I found these are able to relax my mind (actually there are tons! but I only put 10 of them here). I think each song has different vibes and a unique story behind the lyrics. Note that each story of the lyrics is my personal opinion and assumption, so here it is!

1. all songs in smiling in insomnia EP from eaJ

All songs are banger! However, I listen to castle in the sky and wallflower more than the rest. In my opinion, castle in the sky depicts a person who loves their significant other a bit too much that I believe, the person who sing, feel that they don’t deserve their loved ones' mutual feelings. From the lyrics, I think eaJ is stating from the lyrics that this person is currently having problems, and they're afraid it will burden their partner for aiming their dreams or who are currently living their best life (thus live in a castle in the sky). I can relate to that, the heavy feeling of being a “baggage” (like eaJ states in the lyrics) to someone that I love is enough to make it hard to sleep at night.

Wallflower is a song about a person who feels a bit off by their loved one’s strange behavior of making distance with them. Even after knowing that fact, they still love their significant others no matter what, thus they will stay being wallflower until their couples realize their sincere love.

2. No Blueberries - DPR Ian

First time I listened to this song, I was in an identity crisis state. I found it hard to be productive and all due to the significant changes that happened in my life. During my time to adapt to new situations, this song made me feel slightly better. I dove into DPR Ian’s and DPR Live’s songs. All their songs are LIT, DPR is underappreciated in my opinion, they deserve more attention!

3. Kiss Me + Neon - DPR Live

youtube

This song is fire! Combining two songs into one is a genius move to be honest. Hong Da Bin (DPR LIVE) with the DPR team made the music video very artistic. Every single second from the MV can be your desktop wallpaper. Who would have thought that neon lights with a space theme will be a blessing to the audience's eyes. Moreover, the music is a bop, easily becoming one of my favorite songs of all time.

4. Best Part - DAY6

This particular song makes me appreciate myself more than before. I used to think that I am not good enough, my role to support my family is not enough and so on. Those thoughts are really drowning me down. After knowing the meaning of the lyrics (since it’s in korean) I felt so much better. My current situation really is part of the process in my life. I have a goal, of course, and every obstacle in my path will only make me stronger. I value those moments right now. Thanks to this song, I believe all processes are the best part towards one’s aim.

5. We - DAY6 (EoD)

Like the lyrics state:

“Sometimes, we fall and then we rise

Always repeating endlеssly

When hope arises

Dеspair will be over

Let's just remember the joy and live”

Beautiful lines that can lift up everyone’s tiredness after doing their best in life.

6. Jam & Butterfly - DPR LIVE ft. CRUSH and eaJ

Every time I listen to this song, I’m jamming! (pun intended). The harmony of the three singers is beautiful. Each singer has their own style, you’ll notice if you listen to this song. All I can say is that not only the song but also the MV are beautiful, it shows butterflies with three different colors depending on who's singing (blue for DPR Live, Purple for Crush, and Green for eaJ).

7. Afraid - DAY6

I love all DAY6’s songs, I am a MyDay! However, this song is something else, it made me cry even before knowing the meaning of the lyrics. The melody that members created is tearing my heart off so hard. After reading the lyrics, yoo…my heart just can’t- it’s sooo sad. It describes a person who cannot let their partner go even after knowing he/she hurt their partner. However, they are also afraid that their darkness will cover up their partner’s light. It’s so complicated and sad. First time I listened to it, I lied on my bed and it was a downpour outside, the timing was impeccable. Thus, the song, the vibe and my sensitive heart made me cry ugly so hard.

8. Child - Mark Lee

To be honest, this song is aesthetically beautiful. The music video and lyrics are something that most people can relate to. It is about a person who wants to grow up and learn in their own way. They don’t want to be dictated about how they see life. Everyone deserves to be appreciated for whatever they work so hard on. Therefore, this becomes one of my favorite songs in the list.

9. Aki No Tsuki - Sarah Furukawa

I have no idea about the meaning of the lyrics, I cannot find the lyrics anywhere. However, her soothing and raspy voice just hit my heart so hard. All I know is Aki in Japanese means Autumn, and Tsuki means Moon, so…Moon in Autumn (?) sorry if I’m wrong. Well, you should try to listen to it at least once to know what I mean.

10. She Looks So Perfect - 5 Seconds of Summer

This is the first song I listened to from 5SOS in 2014. What a memory. Their debut song is still everyone's favorite, I assume. It’s easy to listen to, the MV is fun to watch, and their voices are just booming! All of their songs are totally LIT in my opinion. My favs other than this song are Wherever You Are, Amnesia, Voodoo Doll, Good Girls, Beside You, and Heartbreak Girl.

#lyrics #personal opinion #song suggestions #favorite songs #5 seconds of summer #day6 #sarah furukawa #mark lee #dpr ian #dpr live #even of day #eaj park #smiling in insomnia #Spotify #SoundCloud #Youtube

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sarahkartika · 1 year

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DPR Ian - No Blueberries

[Chorus: DPR IAN & CL] I like no blueberries in my ice cream cake No air to breathe with that masking tape Stop, please I need a hostage free I need a rocket ship I need to run from (Wait!) I like no blueberries in my ice cream cake (In my cake) No air to breathe with that masking tape Stop, please I need a hostage free I need a rocket ship I need to run from (From you) I'm just kind of lost (I fall from you) I've been looking down a lot (I fall from you) I'm fallin' way too soft (I fall from you) Now tell me when to stop

[Verse 1: DPR IAN] (Oh, no) Here we go again to this beat (Prrrah!) (Oh, oh) Tell me why you want to be so sweet Tell me what's in your еyes, baby Red, green, or blue? Wеlcome to the other side I keep losing my temper for you I love it, how you think I'm always this cool (Prrrah!) Excusez-Moi, I think I'm just a fool Afraid of what's in your eyes, baby Red, green, or blue? Welcome to the other side

[Chorus: DPR IAN & CL] I like no blueberries in my ice cream cake (In my cake) No air to breathe with that masking tape Stop, please I need a hostage free (Woo!) I need a rocket ship I need to run from (From you) I'm just kind of lost (I fall from you) I've been looking down a lot (I fall from you) I'm fallin' way too soft (I fall from you) Now tell me when to stop

[Verse 2: DPR LIVE] (Coming to you, LIVE) Yo MITO, pass me the tape 시끄러워 sikkeureoweo, don't make me shoot Pew-pew-pew-pew, a scene full of rappers 전부 다 맛없어 jeonbu da mateobseo, we need to go Drop to the floor (Floor) 움직여 umjikyeo, we blow (Blow) 어쩌겠어 너무 eojjeogesseo neomu stylish, the way we— I'm a vibey villain, mi amor, yeah, oh she knows it (Knows it, yeah) She's in love with me and that's a drug in dangerous doses In love with your poses Can't see straight, can't focus Get chills when I see your O-face You're the coldest (Coldest, coldest) IITE COOL

[Outro: DPR IAN] So now you've blown all your covers I got this blue to make you come up So when you think it's almost over I got this blue to make you come up So now you've blown all your covers (Before I forget) I got this blue to make you come up So when you think it's almost over (Before I lose it) I got this blue to make you come up

#lyrics #dpr ian #dream perfect regime #no blueberries #Spotify

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sarahkartika · 1 year

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eaJ - traveler

[Verse 1] Are your legs weary Jumping tier to the next? Or is it just merely to feel the heat from your chest? Maybe let me buy you fabric highs Whatever you like Baby, we might just catch a vibe on the 405 Don't, don’t let us die

[Chorus] What you been away for 'cause everyone's home You’ve always got a place here, and that's set in stone Everybody's home What you been hiding for? What you been hiding for? What you been hiding for? What you been hiding for? [Verse 2] Are your legs not weary? Jump into to the next Is it all to merely to feel thе heat from my chest? What's got you stuck in a season, been Gonе since the weekend, it Started with summer, in Spring leaves are grieving, and I Fall into winter, fall into winter Would you be thinking 'bout me? Would you be thinking 'bout me? When you get cold in the winter, cold in the winter Would you be thinking 'bout me? Would you be thinking 'bout me?

[Chorus] What you been away for ’cause everyone’s home You've always got a place here and that’s set in stone Everybody's home What you been hiding for? What you been hiding for? What you been hiding for? What you been hiding for?

[Outro] Don't keep you from loving Don't keep you from loving Don’t keep you from loving Don't keep you from loving Don't keep me from loving you Don't keep me from loving you Don't keep me from loving you Don't keep me from loving you

#Spotify

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sarahkartika · 1 year

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eaJ - sober go away

[Verse 1] Sober resurface Pills they stop working And stomach is churning (From the alcohol, from the alcohol) Hoping is hopeless When ceilings are falling Hospital calling (Who the fck you call? Who the fck you call?)

[Chorus] When the sober stays Lie me in my grave By soft highs, all of them chalk lines Them green stop signs They, (They) they, they, they (They) Keep me in my lane, keep me so embraced by high priced Boxes of hot cries, end of the night sighs American hot pies Fck [Verse 2] 'Cause nothing's consequential When the law is run by the law So when they do wrong, wrong, wrong (Who the fck you call? Who the fck you call?) Something's consequential The world is on fire, run by intelligent liars Shit, am I tired? Popped all my tires Someone call Myres

[Outro] Tell me that I'm special, but what does all that mean? Everyone is someone to somebody (Fck) Tell me that I'm special, but what does all that mean? Everyone is someone to somebody (Fck)

#eaj park #smiling in insomnia #lyrics #sober go away #Spotify

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sarahkartika · 1 year

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5 posts!

Cool

#5 posts #tumblr milestone

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sarahkartika · 1 year

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eaJ - wallflower

[Verse 1] You don't sound like the way you used to Your eyes look past mine It's fucked up, I'm love drunk And we know what drunk do Same song, we've played it a thousand times Wouldn't be enough to stop me from jumpin' and askin', "How high?" Feels like the more that I listen, the more you don't try The sun gone white, air gone ice At our table, plate full of sighs

[Chorus] All my friends, they tell me while I be back at home That you be drinkin' heavy and don’t go home alone All my friends, thеy ask me, they ask me if I'm happy But I’m alright as long as wе're alright, yeah

[Post-Chorus] Keep me company I'll be what I need to be

[Verse 2] What ya tryna speed for? Flowers growin', we ain't dyin' for it Skid marks and the sidewalks of the drop offs I thought yours, but I thought wrong I thought yours, but I thought wrong I thought yours, but I thought wrong I guess not

[Chorus] All my friends, they tell me while I be back at home That you be drinkin' heavy and don’t go home alone All my friends, they ask me, they ask me if I'm happy But I’m alright as long as you're alright, yeah

[Post-Chorus] Keep me company I'll be what I need to be Keep me company I’ll be your wallflower 'Til you water me

#eaj park #smiling in insomnia #wallflower #lyrics #Spotify

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sarahkartika · 1 year

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eaJ - castle in the sky

[Verse 1] Does it ever get lonely? Up where it's holy With your head in the clouds My gravity's pulling you all the way down Does it ever get heavy? When holding me steady Picking me off the ground I know it's not easy to have me around

[Pre-Chorus] It's hard to see from way down here But hope you're happy still 'Cause if I were to disappear Don't know if you could tell

[Chorus] 'Cause you, you live in a castle in the sky Does my baggage ever make it hard to fly? So high up that I'm feeling out of touch Promise mе, I'm not too much Not too much for you 'Cause you live in a castle in thе sky When it's raining, you're my sun that always shines So high, I wish that I could see the view Promise me, I'm not too much Not too much for you

[Verse 2] Tell me, what did you do to deserve this shit? Sorry, I never could change but you still insist Am I to blame though for all your pain? Wondering why do you stay Only God knows how I got to be with you

[Chorus] 'Cause you, you live in a castle in the sky Does my baggage ever make it hard to fly? So high up that I'm feeling out of touch Promise me, I'm not too much Not too much for you 'Cause you live in a castle in the sky When it's raining, you're my sun that always shines So high, I wish that I could see the view Promise me, I'm not too much Not too much for you

#smiling in insomnia #eaj park #lyrics #Spotify

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sarahkartika · 1 year

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Let Us Go Together

It had always been tough, because the light that I saw every morning when I woke up, was too bright. I wanted to go there, by myself alone. The light was my last goal to become a human being, a respectable person, and a hero for my family. I didn’t need anyone else to be my travel company. I felt so powerful by being on my own feet, my own will, my own desire. So far, I survived by not using someone else’s sources. I believe that it’s my fate to be chosen to complete the task for my family’s sake.

One day after waking up from my longest slumber, I saw someone’s silhouette from afar. He was standing still while reading a huge blue book. That was a quiet eye-catchy book considering how vivid the blue color was. I looked at him, full of curiosity. He was so fine, yet cold and somehow unreachable. He had an intimidating yet inviting vibe which smeared through his hooded eyes. Behind those glasses, I could see him talking softly at me by his gaze. I admitted my defeat and tried to be closer to him. I reached the apple tree where he was standing for so long. He was looking at me getting closer to him, as if he's been waiting for me under the tree.

“What are you reading?” I asked.

“Future diary.” He answered calmly.

“Whose diary?”

“For now, it’s no one's.”

“Yeah, whatever.” I looked at his emotionless face. I should have been annoyed at this point, but I wasn’t. He showed almost no expression on his face, but I could see that he enjoyed our conversation. Both his gesture and manner were so calm and somehow addicting, I wanted to see more, explore more of him.

From this distance, I could see the unmatched outfit of his. He was wearing a thick jacket with a pair of jeans, and it’s summer.

“I guess you’re not from around here.”

“I am your neighbor.” He said.

“Okay, but it’s quite hot to wear a jacket tho.”

“I know, I am about to go somewhere.”

“Yeah? Oh, alright, have a safe trip then.”

“Let’s go. You’re coming here to join me right?”

“Uhh…it depends. Where is your destination?”

He closed the book and pointed to the light where it should be my destination.

“Do you know where it is?” I asked.

“I don’t. Thus, I need your help.”

I bite my lips, hesitating about what to answer. I was supposed to go alone though. It had been my goal since I was little.

“Just because you think you can, doesn’t mean that you have to go alone.” He said.

“I am doing fine so far.”

“I can see that. However, you need me too.” He reached into his left pocket and gave me one of his compass.

“This thing will lead us together to the light, we will not be separated and miss each other along our adventure. Obstacles will always be in everyone’s journey, including ours. We might stumble upon big rocks and deep valleys, but don’t worry, it will be fun and memorable.”

I accepted the compass. It looked more like a jewel than just a compass. It shone prettily and was bluish-gray colored with the touch of silver for each N, E, S, W direction. I really loved it.

“Thank you, I’ll treasure it.”

💍

#shortstory #personal story #marriage #support each other #love story #figurativelanguage #learningenglish #originalwork #life goals #original character

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sarahkartika · 1 year

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Blue Velvet Girl

She sat there majestically with a long blue velvet gown which glistened by the sunlight. I appreciated the view while having breakfast on my bed. My eyes were satisfied with the beauty. I did not know what I was looking at. It was shown through a huge mirror surrounded by a golden frame. I saw a garden filled with peach trees and cat’s ear flowers spreading out everywhere. She sat on the wooden chair in the middle of that garden. Her blue velvet dress looked vivid in the midst of a warm-tone background. I totally forgot about toasted bread and a glass of milk on the counter.

“Do you like what you see?” Her sparkly eyes stared at me. I gasped due to her charming gaze and I nodded.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“I am…I don’t know who I am. All I know is I exist because of you.” I blinked a few times. What kind of nonsense she was talking about.

“Pardon?” I did not realize that I used a formal gesture on her. It might be due to her elegant aura that smeared through all my surroundings.

“What do you think of me?” She asked while putting down her comb onto her lap.

I doubted a little and hummed.

“It’s okay. Just let your thoughts out about me.” She encouraged me to state my opinion.

“I am seeing a beauty that could erase all of my worries, could heal my wounds, and calm my nerves down.”

She giggled. Oh how soothing.

“I am glad, may I state my opinion on you too?”

“Yes, of course.” It took me less than a second to answer.

She changed her position to face me. Her slender fingers pushed some strands of her hair to her right ear. Her long lashes moved a few times alongside her eyeballs to scan me.

“I am looking at a ticking bomb which could explode anytime, a punchbag that has been beaten several times, and a gray painting without a single vibrant color.”

I listened to her truth but hurtful statement, word by word.

“Okay…” I tried to keep a straight face. Well, everything she said was spot on, I could not complain. It had been ages since no one ever said things about me.

“So, about what you said earlier, why did your existence happen because of me?”

She stood up and walked closer. As she walked, I could not help not to stare. It might be considered rude, but who cares. She was as pretty as the shining aurora in the north pole.

I waited patiently as she got closer and closer to the surface of the mirror. I felt like I could touch her right away.

She put her right hand on the other side of the mirror.

“Please be closer and put your hand on mine.” I did as she told me.

Suddenly, everything became blurry and distorted.

I was nauseous, there was an urge to vomit but I held it down.

“Keep your eyes on me.” She commanded.

The scene changed into something familiar. I believed this was my childhood memory.

There was a little girl who swayed her body on the swing. Her little hands held onto the chain suspender. She smiled widely and sometimes giggled. From what I saw, there was no one around her. She was playing by herself in this playground.

After some time, she fell to the ground. Her knee was bleeding pretty bad. She was crying and trying hard to clean her wounds with her hands. She chanted to herself “I’m okay…I’m okay.” so many times.

Suddenly, the sky turned reddish and the vibe around her became terrifying. Many strangers showed up, I did not know where they came from. All just happened in a split second.

After that, one huge figure amongst the crowd came closer to her. It looked like a grown up male and had an intimidating aura. I could not catch his face, but I realized the thick mustache that was attached to his frown face. I knew this person very well. My chest hurt and my breath became rapid. It felt like someone just choked my neck. I could not help not being extremely furious. However, I was the only figure that was not related to this particular scene. Therefore, I could not do anything for the poor little girl.

The huge figure put both of his hands on his waist while shouting at her loudly. It drew attention from all the strangers. They saw the poor girl from afar and sometimes whispered to each other. She hid her face down between her knees due to shame caused by his scolding and screaming. He said horrible things about how clumsy and stupid she was, and how came she hurt herself just by playing by herself. I could imagine the shame and pain both in her heart and wounds.

I stepped back a little and the scene turned into my bedroom very quickly. Then, I could see the beautiful girl that stood still in front of me. I had so many questions in my head, but all I could ask was only,

“What was that?” I tried to calm myself down and sat on my bed.

“That was a scene when you and I were born. We were separated by his abusive treatment that happened daily during our childhood. We could not do a single thing wrong or else, he would abuse us verbally.”

I just realized that our faces looked similar. She was me, but different.

I sobbed and put both of my hands on my face.

“I am sorry I cannot recognize you.” I apologized to her and she smiled beautifully.

“It’s okay, dear. I want to assure you that there is me within you. I will never leave you alone, ever.”

I nodded several times before crying out loud.

#shortstory #fiction #originalwork #personal #innerthoughts #interpretyourself #mental health #mentalwellness

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sarahkartika · 2 years

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Rage in Pink

She sat on the edge of the window in a pink satin robe. Her legs crossed and a smirk was painted on her face. I looked at her annoyingly.

“What now?” I sat beside her and looked at her piercing eyes while positioning myself on the window seals.

She scoffed.

“Pretending not to know is not wise.” She moved her fingers left to right several times. She was so irritating.

I wanted to get rid of her badly. To be honest, she was terrifying. She could do things that were beyond norm and logic. She was purely evil. Sometimes, I found bruises mainly on my right knuckles without my consciousness. After that, whenever I asked her why and how did I get those, she only gave me a mysterious smile. Well, I knew that she caused me harm physically and mentally, she just never admitted it.

“Well, it’s not like I can control everything. It just happened.” My fingers ran through my dried black hair. She laughed, quite hard actually.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“Oh poor lamb. Do not fear. I am with you, always.”

That’s what I was afraid of. I did not want to be close to her. However, she was my shadow…she was me.

“Stop it already and go away.” I stood up and looked at her furiously.

“Your disappointment over everyone you loved is actually interesting.”

I could not hold my anger anymore. I slapped her and the sound was quite satisfying. It was the first slap I have ever done to anyone. Tragically, I did it to my alter ego.

She touched her cheeks and giggled.

“Yeah, that’s it. Be mad. Be angry. Let it all out.” She stood up and held my face with her claws. She got her nails done today. Blue and glittery nails stuck into my flesh. I could feel warm liquid gushing out from my cheeks.

“You’re hurting me.” I held my breath trying not to be provoked by her ironically true words.

“I am not. You are hurting yourself, honey.” She let her fingers away from my face and licked my blood and wound that she created. What a wicked woman.

Again, I held my breath and tried to forget all the negativity that came from her immoral mouth.

I was just introduced by the pain and disappointment. I realized that everyone that I loved did not love me back equally. My feeling was genuine, or so I thought. I did not know that deep down, I expected that they would love me back just the same. However, when I knew that their priority list lacked my name, it was just extremely painful. I could not eat properly. Rice tasted like paper, salted veggies were bland in my mouth, I could not even differentiate which one was rubber and chicken anymore. It was so strange. I hated it. Everything was a mess. My heart hurt yet I could not express those emotions to anyone. People would judge and show disapprovals to everything I'd said. I had experienced it so many times. My surroundings were not exposed to those kind of things which made it so hard to cope with my breakdown.

“I just want to be happy.” I said very loudly. I was crying silently.

She stared at my face very intensely. I could smell her coffee breath meaning she was just an inch from my nose. It was shockingly pleasing. Her cold hands reached my whole body and brought me into her embrace.

I cried harder and clenched my hands into fists. I did not hug her back, but I rested my head on her shoulders. It was comfortable, she had distinctive sweet-scented body. It was like an extract of green apples which I was really fond of.

“I know, I know.” She repeated those words just like a spell. Her hands kept rubbing my back as if it would heal me instantly.

I dried out those salty tears from my reddish eyes. We laid down on the bed for few minutes, facing the ceiling while holding hands. I wished time would stop ticking at this very comfortable moment. We had indescribable relationship, and we both were aware of that fact.

“I never hated you, you are part of me.” I said, almost like a whisper. She did not give any response. I faced her and realized that she smiled widely, still looking at the ceiling. To tell the truth, I was jealous of the ceiling.

“But, would you let me control you?”

She giggled. Hah, I could hear those soothing voice for hours.

“What's with that dominance behavior? Are you trying to intimidate me?” I felt she tightened her grip to my hand.

“Yes.”

“That’s disgusting and also sweet.” She kissed me on the cheek. Her maze mind was too complicated to be understood.

“Please.” I begged.

“Maybe we need to date several times before you can control me.” She teased me and I disliked it. I just plainly disapproved the idea.

“You are me, I cannot date me.” I laughed at her ridiculous statement.

“Yes you can, I’ll teach you how to understand me more.”

By her last words, I immediately cried again but this time was happy tears.

“Thank you…Rage.”

#sharingsarahthoughts #interpretyourself #expressions #emotions #innerthoughts #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #originalwork

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