lizypeazy
Eli Is Writing
here's your local enby interactive fiction writer who only talks about their characters and drinks too much tea
• game development student
• avatar ➺ djarn's character maker on picrew
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Taylor Swift didn't lie when she said 22 years old people are happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time - life update #6
Well, it's been a while.
I haven't really been motivated these last couple of months, I think summer depression hit HARD and I couldn't focus on my tasks, but hey, it's fine, I tried to understand who I am - this sounds extremely 2012 Tumblr but as I have actually lived through that period of the internet, it's fine, I can be as cringe as I want.
Here I am now, updating my blog as I listen to kpop girl groups, writing on my brand new laptop.
I still don't know who I am, not entirely, but I have discovered that I apparently really like love stories, I like reading and writing them, sometimes even watching movies that have love as their main focus.
I discovered that I don't really like the same kind of music I used to listen when I was a teenager, angry at everything and everyone; I still enjoy it, but not as much as I did before, and it's just fine.
I found out that I like my hair black, and it doesn't necessarily need to be blue, pink or whatever, for me to feel good - I've been dying my hair since I was 13, and the thought of going back to having normal hair was extremely scary. Turned out I just had to try, and damn I love it now.
I discovered that I really like to workout and be active during the day, I like waking up early in the morning and go out, even if it's just for a walk.
Now, what I really need to do, something that's not negotiable, is going back to working like I used to, because I've been extremely lazy and I can't afford that right now.
I've been procrastinating too much in the last period, but it's just fine, I wasn't in the mental state to work as hard as I had to, but I think it's getting better now, and I can try to focus on my tasks, one step at a time.
As someone I really really like and cherish once said: After you endure the hard time with a little patience, you'll smile and shine someday eventually. ( - Choi Beomgyu).
Now, I'll get some work done today for sure, you can count on that!
'Till the next life update, that I think will be very very soon,
-Lizy
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IT'S TOO HOT OUTSIDE and I've just discovered my love for Unreal Engine - life update #5
It's too hot inside too because my dad doesn't want to get an air conditioner and my mom and I are probably going to snap at some point.
ANYWAYS, Unreal Engine, holy sh1t, how freaking cool is it to use it??? Listen, I've been a Game Development student for three years now and I thought I hated it because I have such a hate-hate relationship with Unity but UNREAL ENGINE? I'm in love with it and I think it likes me back.
It's kind of an enemies to lovers relationship the one between UE and I; we're not at the lovers part just yet but we're about to get there.
Alright, the thing is that I'm almost done with finals and one exam is based on UE, my project is almost done (it could be finished if I hadn't procrastinated all day but oh well) and I had so much fun programming it, it didn't even feel like an exam or something I was forced to make in order to get my degree? The last time I felt this way while preparing for an exam, it was during my creative writing class.
I now can't wait to make visual novels with UE, my friend and I are already planning on making one together as soon as we are done with university.
Also, this paragraph will be out of context, but my parents went on vacation with my sister for three days in which my friends came over to my house, we went to the gay pride in Milan on Saturday during the day and we all had our beautiful flags and I got to finally use my asexual pride flag(i'm so happy about it!!!), then we had pizza for dinner and then we went out and waited until midnight to celebrate the birthday of one of us, and we had so much fun and I love my friends a lot and this is it, it's been therapeutic to spend a couple of days with my friends only without thinking about anything else.
Back to my love Unreal now!!
'Till the next life update,
-Lizy
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Being creative isn’t always fun
I think this is one of the most difficult things to realize. Be it writing or drawing or making music or crafting – it’s not fun. Not always.
I think we all expect it to be, I mean, why do it if it isn’t fun? It looks so easy when others do it. And then we get discouraged when things inevitably turn out to be more difficult than we thought. And then we blame ourselves!
It should be easy! This should be fun! I’m such a hack, I’m doing this wrong, I will never be good at this because it isn’t fun and it’s supposed to be fun, else it’s just a stupid waste of time.
We all feel this way sometimes.
Allow yourself to accept this. It isn’t always fun, sometimes it’s really difficult and you have to push through to get to the other part that is more fun.
It’s not easy, it’s not always fun but that doesn’t mean that it’s wrong to do it. You’re not wrong, you’re not stupid, you’re not a hack. Keep doing your thing.
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I WISH EVERY WRITER A GOOD DAY OF WRITING REMEMBER YOU ARE EXTRAORDINARY AND CAPABLE OF GREAT THINGS NO MATTER WHAT YOU TRY TO CONVINCE YOURSELF OF
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Finals are imminent and all I wanna do is write fan fictions and read fantasy enemies to lovers books - life update #4
I think the title speaks for itself.
Look, I'm still in Milan, currently at my friend's place, in the kitchen, it's 9 AM and I have already had my breakfast, read a fan fiction about a couple I know nothing about (I'm living for it though) and I have the first cup of tea of the day right next to me. My friends are still asleep but I'm positive I'll finally make something good and productive out of this particular day. Maybe the stars today are on my side, who can tell?
I'm enjoying a couple of hours of silence - When the hell did I become such a morning person? - and then I'm planning to work on the 3D Animation exam, write at least a couple of pages for my thesis and then talk to my thesis supervisor to finally update him on our project. We have the first two chapters now, and there will be a total of five chapters + the prologue. I'm positive about this project as well, I'm sure everything will turn out great.
I'm working on the thesis project with one of the artistis of Once Upon a Shift and we may be planning on realizing another visual novel, we will start working on it as soon as we graduate and I can't wait to give birth to a new story and new characters!
I should also be writing the chapters of the book I'm working on with another friend of mine, a project that's been going on for months and that's currently my most important one, and the one I'm the most exctited about! I can't wait to see it done, but we both had to pause it for the time being because, as I have already said multiple times at this point, our finals are almost here.
Well, this update was just a reminder for myself that I can do it, work properly everyday and then I'll get the chance to do whatever I want, I just have to finish my exams first lol I'm ready to start my allnighters to finish everything as soon as possible.
'Till the next life update,
-Lizy
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desperate times call for desperate measures - life update #3
Since my brain doesn't seem to want to cooperate with me and won't let me study and work on my university projects properly, I have decided to move to Milan for two weeks.
I'll stay at my friend's house, since her room mates went home for the time being and she's alone. Also, she's the same as me and won't work unless there are other people working around her.
Now that my sibling even finished their school year, I don't want to think how working with them around me would be lol so, yeah, I'd rather just pack my things and say goodbye for two weeks, so that my friends and I can do a full immersion of university projects for our finals and get things done for once in our lives lol (no, actually, we're all good students, we're just tired)
That being said, now that I know that in two days I'll move there, I already feel more motivated and I hope that the three of us will really take advantage of this opportunity. I'll try to make the best out of it and work as hard as I can.
As the love of my life Choi Yeonjun once said: "Hard work always pays off. If you keep at it until the end, you can do it!"
'Till the next life update,
-Lizy
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it's pride month and i'm thinking that /this/ is our time to shine
First of all, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!
Now, back to the serious stuff.
"This is our time to shine" not as in "pride month is our time to shine" but as in "this specific historical period, 2021"
Of course, every single historical period is our time to shine, we (the lgbtq community) always shine, it's our default mode, but let me explain.
There's not a single day in which I don't look for new queer books to read, I crave representation and there's nothing I can do about it, and I came to the conclusion that the majority of them are all written by queer authors. Of course, in the latest years there are queer couples as side couples even if the author is cishet, but I'm talking about the books in which the main characters are queer, and these are even more realistic because there are not only two queer characters, but the two main queer characters are sorrounded by other queer people! Because it's just how reality works, we hang out with people of our own kind, queer people exist and they stick together as much as they can!
No but really, I only have one single het friend, the others are queer asf, and the same goes for them lol.
Anyways, back to the topic, this is it, I'm just extremely happy to see that everyday I find new queer stories told by queer authors, and I think that maybe our time finally came, we can now express how our reality works, what being queer feels like and the kind of relationships we have with one another.
--- I had this kind of thoughts because I was thinking that there's not a single main character of mine who's straight, not even one, and their friends are not exactly het either, and I thought that maybe that would've been a problem because of the society we live in, but why should I change my protagonists if this is my reality?
Just like Hayley Kiyoko once said, after being asked why she only talks about lesbian love stories in her music videos, "this is my life, why should I sing about straight love stories?" (these weren't the literal words but yeah you got the point).
Keep shining ya beautiful queer authors out there ✨
-Lizy
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I have too many things to do, so I don't do anything at all - life update #2
Why does my brain have to work like this? Actually, I think it's everyone's brain that works like this, or at least also my friends and I ones - I can't english today and I'm writing this off-the-cuff, sorry!
It's currently 9 PM and I have not finished a single thing today, not that I had a proper plan in mind, but I have university projects to work on, I have too many wips and also a couple of fan fiction ideas (yeah, not even ashamed, fan fics are cool af) so wHY didn't I do anything today?
I have read a tweet a couple of days ago (or maybe it was a Pinterest picture?) that said that it is okay if you don't do anything sometimes, you just exist and survive and that's okay. Now, I totally agree with that, but it's not like I can actually afford to just survive when I'm about to finish my third university year and I should give a couple of finals in less than a month. I think. My therapist would disagree and tell me that I am allowed to just exist.
THE THING IS I'm trying to get my life together because pretty much everything is a mess right now but I'm positive I'll be able to do that. Or at least I'm trying to convince myself that I'm positive about it.
I'll try to update as much as possible, I want this blog not only to be a sort of portfolio of mine, where I post all my works, but also a place where I can write my stream of consciousnesses (like this one, that does not actually have a point lol) and, most importantly, I want this blog to be a hUGE romanticization of everything I do, including being sad and feeling upset and demotivated just because I'm a human and humans are sO fascinating honestly (and yes I'm trying my best right
now not to start on why this thing I have just typed is wrong and why humans were actually made to ruin the world, I'm trying not to be too cynical anymore) - and, I mean, this is Tumblr, I don't think there'd be a better place to romanticize my life.
Now, tomorrow I'll go to Milan to work at a huge project with a friend of mine, and Milan is one of the most beautiful cities in the world, I'm sure it'll be able to inspire me and I'll try to make the best out of this experience (not that I don't go to Milan every single week, but that's not the point right now).
Now I'll go back to just existing (and that's fine!!), but I could consider writing something if my brain would like to cooperate with me.
'Till the next life update,
-Lizy
#life update#why do i procrastinate so much#stream of consciousness#writer#university#university student
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petition to be able to just turn your brain upside down and shake the stories out of it
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Inspiration can come from literally anything - life update #1
Sounds clichè, right?
But, I swear to God, there's nothing more true.
I've been stuck for days on the idea of writing a contemporary book, or finding a concept at least, but I couldn't think of anything that could satisfy me.
I mean, I never really cared about contemporary novels, I used to think they were nothing special, since they're set in the real world, there are no things such as superpowers, supernatural events and so on, so what was the point of reading them?
But then, as I was craving representation, I ended up looking for lgbtq+ novels and finally decided to pick up Heartstopper by Alice Oseman and Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston. Do I have to specify that these two managed to make me completely change my mind over the topic?
Another pro of writing a contemporary novel is that I live in Italy and I've not published a book yet, and, sad but true, fantasy and sci-fi novels don't really have any sort of impact here, especially if they're written by Italian authors: for what I have learnt, publishers here don't really consider investing their money in fantasy/sci-fi books, since they don't believe they'll sell many copies. In conclusion, starting with a contemporary novel is the best option - let's not talk about the fact that I'll write about a wlw relationship and Italy doesn't exactly vibe with lgbt literature (and lgbt representation is not something that I'm willing to give up anyways).
So, having accepted that my next wip would've been a contemporary novel, I asked myself: what the hell is the plot? And as I have already said, I could not think of a single story I liked.
I tried thinking of old prompts I could consider, I tried reading other contemporary books so that they could inspire me, as well as watching movies or even listening to music, but not a single new original character would pop up in my head to help me with the process of building their story.
That's when I gave up and simply decided to watch the new video of a booktuber I like.
In said video, he talks about cashiers at some point, and which their thoughts might be as he buies strange objects for his videos. A cashier then left a comment under the video, pointing out that actually, cashiers don't really care about what their costumers buy.
And that was it.
I suddenly had the story in mind, I had the protagonist and even a couple of side characters.
I remember when I was 15 or 16, watching a 5SOS interview and laughing when they said the inspiration to write Beside You (still one of their best songs to this day, you can't change my mind) came from a pair of cans of beans. They were at the supermarket, only two cans of beans were left on the shelf, until someone took one of them; that's when they thought "ugh, they must be really sad now, they must feel alone." Next thing we know, we have one of the best and angstiest love songs in history (yeah, yeah, I'm exaggerating, but that song made my teenage years, can you blame me?)
Moral of the story: 5SOS were right, inspiration can come from anywhere and anything and I think that's something that I really love about this job; you can't just stop thinking about potential stories to tell (or songs to write, for all it matters), all it takes sometimes is only taking a look around you and there it is, a starting point for a new book, a new videogame or a new movie.
So, yeah, the fact that we never stop plotting really hypes me up.
-Lizy
PS. And of course I'm now finally writing a contemporary novel!! I can't wait to share the process here!
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Once Upon a Shift
Avery is tired of the real world: at school they’re being bullied, their bestfriend and first boyfriend broke up with them and doesn't even want to talk to them anymore and, as if it wasn’t enough, he is now dating their childhood friend Chloe, who never really liked Avery.
Surrounded by a society that doesn’t understand them, the only way out Avery manages to find is shifting to another dimension. At first, they shifted to their favorite fictional universes, until they tried to shift to Gardenland, the world Avery and Jayden created when they were kids - maybe they’ll even have a chance in this realm.
Problem is, a declaration of war from Jayden himself wasn’t what they expected…
PLAY HERE: https://eliswriting.itch.io/once-upon-a-shift
#interactive fiction#visual novel#once upon a shift#shifting#desired reality#reality shifting#lgbt#non bianry#game jam
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[[ FIGHT // FLIGHT ]]
«I’d like to know if I’m fixing the engine just so that we don’t die here and go die somewhere else, or if our next move will be… I’m not saying safe, but almost?»
I genuinely smile at that.
«I’m afraid I can’t guarantee that at all.»
Earth Year 2952: the corsair crew of the Oblivion spaceship gets attacked by some mysterious kidnappers, but they leave behind the Captain, Ivory Joyner, who is determined to take them back; in the meantime, her Second in Command, Nathaniel Shada, is making up a plan to get everyone back on the Oblivion. Will the two of them succeed?
[[ FIGHT // FLIGHT ]] is a short interactive novel divided in 6 chapters, with two POVs.
PLAY HERE: https://r9n.itch.io/fightnflight
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Who Am I?
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve tried to keep a Tumblr blog in the past ten years. At first, when I was 13, Tumblr was just a place where I could remind myself that I was not like other girls, spending my days reblogging edgy images and quotes.
At 16, it was a place for me to talk about anime, tv series, videogames, singers, bands and celebrities in general, but it’s not like I had anything to actually write, I could only scroll through the dashboard and look at other people posts; I could as well do that on Twitter, so what was the point of sticking on Tumblr?
At 19, I gave it another chance. I thought: “Alright, I want to write something and I want to share my thoughts with other people”; first attempt at starting a blog, I would say. But did I have anything to actually talk about? Of course not.
At 22, as I am about to get my college degree in New Technologies For Applied Arts, I think I finally found what I could use this social network for.
I’ve always liked writing. I’ve always liked creating stories, characters and universes, but it was just a hobby back in my high school days. After three years of attending an Academy of Fine Arts, though, I find myself thinking that maybe, this could - and will - actually be my future job. I have so many on-going projects and some finished ones, and nothing would make me more happy than sharing them with the rest of the world - or of Tumblr, at least.
I also feel the need to mention the importance of representation in everything I write. As a part of the LGBT+ community, representation is necessary in every single work of mine, not only of queer people. I want to speak out against any kind of hate against minorities.
I hope you’ll decide to stick with me during this journey of mine, in which I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m trying my best anyways, while I write about my interactive narrations, videogames and scripts I’m working on, and who knows how many other things!
‘Till the next life update,
-Lizy
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