i'm 18 and i feel like i have no purpose and constantly comparing myself - i've faced rejections from my dream colleges and finding it really hard to not worry about my future, any advice? (:

Hello! First, I must apologize for a delay in reply. I haven't been active on here in a bit (mostly queued post).

I understand how you feel, and I'm only a little older than you. It's not always easy to not compare ourselves or to not worry when life doesn't seem to be going the way we thought we wanted.

Here's the thing - everything in life is always changing and evolving, in some way or another. ALSO, I do not believe we are all subject to just one singular purpose. Like, "my purpose is to be a mother," "my purpose is to become a CEO some day," etc. We are vastly complex and are capable of having infinite purposes in a given season -- and some may not have standard titles. Your current standard titles may be "student," "friend," etc., but that's just a pea in the grand scheme of it all.

It's good to have plans and think about the future, but that's not all we ought to do. When I neared high school graduation, I had no idea what I wanted to do. Well, not exactly. I had a mental list of future things -- like being a mother and maybe publishing a book or something -- but I had no career plans. I had decided somewhat late that I wanted to accomplish an associate's degree before I finished high school, so I took on a crazy amount of credits and finished my associate's the same summer I graduated high school. So, at one time, my only visible goal and purpose (so to speak) was graduate high school and see what comes. Before I finished that, I had switched to the plan and purpose to having a 2-year degree. That changed within one semester. After both graduations, I was back to having no idea what I wanted to do next... I was fighting the paralysis of having no plans.

For 3 years, I worked many different kinds of jobs -- some I sought out and some came right to me. I served many varying purposes for many different people, and I achieved some planned goals and some unplanned goals. I eventually landed a job I fought for and loved, and after a year and a half, I discovered the major I wanted for my bachelor's degree. So I did that. (And so my story goes on.)

Throughout all that, I felt behind compared to everyone I knew. But, if I stopped and looked around, I saw so many different kinds of journeys. I took classes with people twice my age in the college, and I was the boss over people twice my age in the work place -- and so I was also older than others in both situations. So when it comes to comparison, it's important to realize everyone is on their own journey. And if you want to enjoy your journey, focus on what you need for the season you are in. Life is always changing.

In a moment, you are pursuing a degree and enjoying that fact. In a blink, you dig up new passions and change majors -- or meet someone you fall in love with, or get an internship across country. Life is always changing. We are always evolving and becoming.

I'll be honest - I don't have a career I'm pursuing currently. I'm daily having to remind myself to lean into who I am now and what I am in now. Currently, that is the fact that I have a lovely partner who comes with some kiddos. Some days I'm more rocked by the unknowns than I am others. But, this relationship blossomed organically, and it's becoming more and more clear the kiddos need a woman/person like me in their life. So, I'm leaning into the fact I'm the person these kiddos need -- another way I am becoming, and participating in their developmental stages of becoming. I might get an interview soon, or receive a call from past employers needing me again. I don't know what's to come, and that's perfectly okay. Life is always evolving, and we gotta learn how to lean into the ebbs and flows.

So, really, what I want you to get is that you can become paralyzed by what you don't know. Or you can breathe in the present of knowing you are still becoming, and you are magnificent in every stage of that process.

I'm sorry you were rejected by your dream colleges, but do not give up. If you choose to continue education, don't let those rejections rock you for too long. My best friend was rejected by her dream college and that was understandably very hard for her. But, she did get accepted by another college and chose to accept and enroll. Eventually she met her now fiancé -- and they are months away from their wedding. For years, she said she wanted to put her career first and marriage and family would come much later. Her plans changed. She is still becoming, and by leaning into that, she has been able to enjoy her college journey, her evolving relationship, and all the greatness she has experienced despite the heartbreak and rejections she had encountered.

Life is always changing. We are still becoming. All in all, we could say that your purpose is to stay true to who you are today and allow space for who you will become tomorrow. In between it all, you will serve many different purposes and take on many different titles. You will always look different from those around you and that is great!

I'm happy that you are reaching out and not keeping these feelings inside. You are doing great, and everything will be okay.

We can always chat again. (:

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Wow, I love this.

Remember, just because it’s taking more time than you imagined, does not mean it’s not progressing.

Live by this.