Tumgik
ilophilia · 60 seconds
Text
**troubled youth program au**
Sirius: What's that?
Remus: ...shiv.
Sirius: Oh...
Remus: ...yeah.
...
Sirius: Well it's not pointy enough, here, lemme show you the correct shape you'd need to properly break skin-
Remus: *immediately infatuated*
0 notes
ilophilia · 2 days
Note
yes and james potter was the flower girl
don't think I forgot we're married
I laughed out loud into the silence of my room because this was so adorably creepy BUT OFC I REMEMBER!
12 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 2 days
Note
ITS UHHHH ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE?????
don't think I forgot we're married
I laughed out loud into the silence of my room because this was so adorably creepy BUT OFC I REMEMBER!
12 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 3 days
Note
don't think I forgot we're married
I laughed out loud into the silence of my room because this was so adorably creepy BUT OFC I REMEMBER!
12 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 4 days
Text
what my tabs look like rn:
Tumblr media
a priest fic, a summer fic, and a politician fic.
we must stay focused.
36 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 4 days
Text
Vampire Sirius: And yeah, I understand I can like live forever or whatever which is pretty cool - but imagine living forever related to my family? PFFT fucking sucks man, let me tell you.
Remus *nodding*: Mhm, mhm, totally agree.
...
can you let me go now?
37 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 5 days
Text
Vampire Sirius: I will drain every crevice of your body.
Remus, slightly unhinged: Oh please do - think you can drain my suicidal thoughts while you're at it?
Sirius: ...
Remus: ...
Sirius: Damn, who hurt you?
98 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 5 days
Text
Thinking about how Joel despised everything the Fireflies stood for, and yet 'When you're lost in the darkness, look for the light' ended up applying to him the most - the person in the apocalypse who after meeting Ellie found the most light.
34 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 9 days
Text
Walburga & Orion: Fuck half-bloods and muggles!
Sirius: Okay! :)
145 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 9 days
Text
Jude: Honestly, sometimes I don't understand why you picked me over Nicasia.
Cardan: ???
Caradn: The only thing we have in common is that we both tried to drown you at some point.
161 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 13 days
Text
im a multishipper until you try to touch my babies ok.
james and lily? absolutely. lily and mary? adorable. james and regulus? grumpyxsunshine GOLD. regulus and barty? our favorite psychos. barty and evan? you know it's growing on me
but other ships instead of wolfstar????? like??? they're the only ones for each other argue w the goddamn wall
2K notes · View notes
ilophilia · 16 days
Text
Bodyguard James: Why are you freaking out? No - I promise the blood will probably wash out-
Prince Regulus: YOU JUST GOT SHOT???
James: Hm? Oh yeah...I know.
Regulus: James!
James: Look, what do you want me to say?
Regulus: You're not even in pain!
James: Pain? That's the issue? Alright, *clears throat* OW FUCK OH GOD-
91 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 16 days
Text
no literally I swear this mf does it on purpose
conan gray's music scarily fits the black brothers.
every song.
i can go into detail.
235 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 22 days
Text
Dorcas: That bitch. She keeps on glaring at me.
Marlene (Across the hall): James, James, doesn't her hair look so good today-
James: Yeah I heard, like you said yesterday. And the day before. And before-
259 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 26 days
Note
WAIT I JUST REALISED THIS IS HOLLY I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THE FIRST TIME WTF
LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK!!!!
Tumblr media
LMAO I'VE MADE IT
20 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 26 days
Note
LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK!!!!
Tumblr media
LMAO I'VE MADE IT
20 notes · View notes
ilophilia · 27 days
Text
My fav microtrope is when either James or Remus hear Regulus or Sirius speaking french for the first time and they're like, "You speak french?! Do it more."
81 notes · View notes