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Fic titled “Red Riding Hood” and it’s just gratuitous smut of Tim riding Jason. Maybe “Red Riding Hood” is the name of an NSFW social media account where they post photos/videos of exactly that and nobody is quite sure whether they are the real Red Robin and Red Hood or just some lookalike cosplayers. They get it on in a variety of adventurous ways and public locations (someone swears they saw them on the rooftop opposite their apartment and the analysis of the skyline in Red Riding Hood’s next sexcapade confirms it) but one thing stays constant: Red Robin rides Red Hood.
#JayTim#brought to you by me seeing ‘red riding hood’ as a team name for Red Robin and Red Hood#and my mind going straight to the gutter#sometimes they swap costumes so Jason gets to ride Tim without ruining the theme#they're not fooling anybody of course but there's an audience for hunk Red Robin and twink Red Hood too#Bruce has an aneurysm when he finds out about the account#he does not need to know this much about his sons' sex lives#but they’re adults so as long as they don’t compromise their identities he has to reluctantly stay out of it
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Two types of Jason live rent-free in my head:
- Jason who manages a swift takeover of Gotham’s underworld using a 40 step plan, where each step is further broken down into 40 more steps, so on and so forth until every single minute is accounted for. Each step also has contingencies that in turn also have contingencies.
- Jason who manages a swift takeover of Gotham’s underworld mostly by stumbling into it. He has a hit list that he systematically goes through one by one, with no intention of actually building a criminal empire, except with every person crossed off his list he acquires new ardent followers like baby ducks imprinting on the first moving object (except in this case it’s the first powerful, semi-benevolent figure who seems to have no agenda other than very effectively cleaning up crime), until he finally gets peer-pressured by his loyal followers to offer actual protection because how can he NOT want to help them in any way he can if they keep giving him homemade stews and handmade socks and intel he didn’t ask for but needed.
#Jason Todd#DCU#DC#Red Hood#DC Red Hood#as you can tell I am hungry for fic of the second kind of Jason#though that is not to say that I have had my fill of the first as well#it’s just that fic generally don’t explore such extremes
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Headcanon that instead of signing his threats Red Hood uses semicolons liberally (and correctly) because nobody up to their eyeballs in crime in his part of Gotham uses semicolons. ‘Don’t even try to run; I know all of your hideouts’ is a Certified Red Hood Threat. ‘I’m always watching; every minute every second’ is someone impersonating Red Hood.
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Headcanon that instead of signing his threats Red Hood uses semicolons liberally (and correctly) because nobody up to their eyeballs in crime in his part of Gotham uses semicolons. ‘Don’t even try to run; I know all of your hideouts’ is a Certified Red Hood Threat. ‘I’m always watching; every minute every second’ is someone impersonating Red Hood.
#HALP#Jason Todd moonlighting (daylighting?) as a writer for writer.com was not on my bingo card#but I’ll take it lol#Oxford comma#Jason Todd#Tim Drake#DCU#DC#Red Hood#Red Robin
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Headcanon that instead of signing his threats Red Hood uses semicolons liberally (and correctly) because nobody up to their eyeballs in crime in his part of Gotham uses semicolons. ‘Don’t even try to run; I know all of your hideouts’ is a Certified Red Hood Threat. ‘I’m always watching; every minute every second’ is someone impersonating Red Hood.
#this results in a significant increase in the number of people who know how to use semicolons#because the criminals want to know if a message is from hood so they need to take it seriously#and the civilians need to know if an offer to help is genuine or a trick#the semicolon eventually becomes an unreliable way of telling real red hood messages from fake ones#because now everyone knows how to use a semicolon#meanwhile Jason rubs his hands together and gleefully mutters that it’s all going according to keikaku#and by keikaku he means his long term plan to increase literacy rates in crime alley#Red Hood#Jason Todd#DC#DCU#DC Red Hood#punctuation
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Ballister and Nimona having a parent-child relationship, but since Nimona is in fact ancient may I propose that they have a parent-child relationship but in the opposite direction. I think it would just be funnier that way.
Nimona is what happens when the cool aunt has a kid very late in life after she has already become entrenched in her wild ways, and Ballister is her uptight only child who loves her but good Gloreth why are you like this why am I the one making sure the bills are paid please stop enabling all of my bad ideas.
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Thank you everyone who got me to 5 reblogs!
JayTim omegaverse AU where Tim presents as an omega when he’s stalking Batman and Jason-as-Robin. Jason finds him collapsed on a rooftop and tries to help him but the proximity triggers his own presentation as an alpha. From there things go to hell in a hand basket and they ride out their first heat/rut together. In the immediate aftermath, once they have both recovered enough presence of mind, they agree that this is no one’s fault but it doesn’t stop Jason from feeling guilty about taking advantage of Tim so he escorts Tim home (in the process finding out they’re neighbours) and asks if there’s anything that he can do for him to make up for whatever the hell just happened.
There’s a lot of trauma to unpack here for the both of them but Tim is barely a teenager and Jason has emotionally repressed Batman for a parental figure so they just mutually decide not to mention it ever again because if you pretend it never happened then it can’t hurt you right? (Wrong.) Anyway, Tim tells Jason that if he really wants to do something for him then maybe he can just not tell Batman that Tim was on a rooftop at night, pretty please? At which point Jason, horrified that a boy Tim’s age is running around on rooftops unsupervised in the most crime-ridden parts of Gotham at the most crime-infested time of the day, makes it his personal duty to figure out why Tim does this and also how he can convince him to NOT do this. What he did to Tim was wrong on so many levels but oh god, what if someone so much worse found Tim instead? He agrees to Tim’s request on the condition that Tim carries a beacon at all times during his nighttime extracurricular activities.
Jason brings the beacon over as soon as possible, which turns out to be the next day after school (as Robin of course), and the sight of Tim alone in a giant house compels him to stay for a while, and a while turns into the rest of the day. Tim shows off the photos he’s taken of Batman and the Robins, and Jason is reluctantly but appropriately impressed by Tim’s stealth.
A friendship grows between them.
And then Jason dies.
And Batman grows too reckless.
And Dick refuses to be Robin again.
And Tim becomes Robin—
Except he doesn’t. Not really. He wears Jason’s Robin suit for a very short time before random bouts of nausea take him off the field. But Batman is still beating the shit out of petty criminals and Tim is desperate to help, so he allows Alfred (bless him) to call him a discreet doctor to ensure that his illness is not due to anything he was exposed to while Batman-wrangling before he’s allowed back on the field. Tim just wants it over and done with quickly so he can get back out there and—
He’s not allowed to back on the field.
He’s holding a little black-and-white picture of a literal human growing inside him and he is absolutely benched until there is no longer a literal human growing inside him.
Doctor Thompkins lays out his options, is brutally honest about how his body (too young, too small) will handle a pregnancy (not well), and asks if there is anything he wants to tell her (if there’s anyone Batman needs to put in jail for touching him). Tim doesn’t have long to consider his options—he’s nearly too far along for most clinics to be comfortable performing an abortion (although, given his age, they might be sympathetic enough to bend the rules if Doctor Thompkins can’t perform the procedure for him).
He decides to keep it, a parting gift from his friend Robin to be cherished beyond his death. There is a difficult conversation with Bruce about the child’s father (no, you can’t arrest them, they’re already dead, no, I’m not defending a heinous rapist, it’s your goddamn son, Bruce, this is your grandchild). An unforeseen but extremely welcome consequence of this is that Batman starts pulling his punches, now that he has something to live for again. He looks only half-broken now and he offers Tim a room at the Wayne manor when he finally learns about Tim’s extremely absent parents.
(Tim worries about how to break the news to his parents until he no longer has to worry about it because his mother is dead and his father is in a coma and god he wanted to avoid having that conversation with them but this wasn’t how he wanted it to happen.)
Properly benched now for the foreseeable future, Tim picks up remote vigilante-wrangling instead (from Babs?) and makes headway in some cold cases. He pulls out of school to be homeschooled instead, keeps out of the public eye, and generally avoids leaving Wayne manor because a thirteen-year-old pregnant omega living alone with an adult alpha (and his butler) is a Very Bad Look even for Brucie Wayne and Tim would rather not be known as Bruce Wayne’s child bride thank you very much.
Life proceeds in this manner, the child is delivered by Caesarian with very little fanfare. It is, unfortunately, very difficult to hide the presence of a whole infant. The public settles on the theory that the child is Bruce’s illegitimate son from one of his many dalliances and Tim allows the misconception to propagate simply because no good can come out of him, all of fourteen, publicly claiming his child. But it still stings, just a little. He made this child, held him safe in his womb for eight months. He puts him to bed and nurses him and loves him so much but nobody outside the manor will see it.
Tim bursts back into society when he’s officially adopted by Bruce. He refused to register his son as Bruce’s (it takes some extremely deft work by Oracle to file the appropriate documents for Tim’s claim on his child to be legally valid without alerting the press) but he also understands that Bruce wants a legal connection to his grandchild, so he becomes his son’s dead father’s legally adopted brother. It’s a mess, but at least people who should be are allowed into hospital rooms. It’s not like it will matter, right? Jason’s dead, right?
Wrong.
Jason is very much not dead and very much bewildered by the presence of a baby Wayne that isn’t Damian and it completely derails his plans to exact revenge on Bruce for not killing the Joker. It fucking hurts to see that he’s been replaced by not one but TWO new children but at least they aren’t Robin. At least no one is Robin. At least one of them is Tim, his lonely friend who deserves a family. He returns to Gotham, heads to Crime Alley, becomes Red Hood, and buries himself in shooting out enough kneecaps to push Bruce and Batman from his mind. That was another life. He’s fucking furious at Bruce and his replacements but god the baby has the same curly hair that Jason did and Jason can’t help but think that Bruce might actually have missed him, at least a little.
But probably not enough to love Jason as he is now, full of anger and rage and impulse to hurt hurt hurt the people who hurt others. He channels it all into cleaning up the Alley, perhaps more aggressively than Batman would (should) have, but Batman doesn’t give enough of a shit about the Alley to know that what he’s doing isn’t enough and it’s up to Jason to get his hands downright filthy if he wants to make any changes around here.
Tim notices Red Hood, because of course he does. And it takes him no time at all to realise, oh, that’s Jason. That’s Jason.
#5 reblogs#tumblr milestone#thank you#. coolbeans#huh I didn’t realise this was appended to a post and not like a post itself#I also didn’t read it so someone got tagged in this thing that I mostly posted to have an archive of tumblr-decided milestones#they’re untagged now so hopefully it didn’t ping their notifs
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JayTim omegaverse AU where Tim presents as an omega when he’s stalking Batman and Jason-as-Robin. Jason finds him collapsed on a rooftop and tries to help him but the proximity triggers his own presentation as an alpha. From there things go to hell in a hand basket and they ride out their first heat/rut together. In the immediate aftermath, once they have both recovered enough presence of mind, they agree that this is no one’s fault but it doesn’t stop Jason from feeling guilty about taking advantage of Tim so he escorts Tim home (in the process finding out they’re neighbours) and asks if there’s anything that he can do for him to make up for whatever the hell just happened.
There’s a lot of trauma to unpack here for the both of them but Tim is barely a teenager and Jason has emotionally repressed Batman for a parental figure so they just mutually decide not to mention it ever again because if you pretend it never happened then it can’t hurt you right? (Wrong.) Anyway, Tim tells Jason that if he really wants to do something for him then maybe he can just not tell Batman that Tim was on a rooftop at night, pretty please? At which point Jason, horrified that a boy Tim’s age is running around on rooftops unsupervised in the most crime-ridden parts of Gotham at the most crime-infested time of the day, makes it his personal duty to figure out why Tim does this and also how he can convince him to NOT do this. What he did to Tim was wrong on so many levels but oh god, what if someone so much worse found Tim instead? He agrees to Tim’s request on the condition that Tim carries a beacon at all times during his nighttime extracurricular activities.
Jason brings the beacon over as soon as possible, which turns out to be the next day after school (as Robin of course), and the sight of Tim alone in a giant house compels him to stay for a while, and a while turns into the rest of the day. Tim shows off the photos he’s taken of Batman and the Robins, and Jason is reluctantly but appropriately impressed by Tim’s stealth.
A friendship grows between them.
And then Jason dies.
And Batman grows too reckless.
And Dick refuses to be Robin again.
And Tim becomes Robin—
Except he doesn’t. Not really. He wears Jason’s Robin suit for a very short time before random bouts of nausea take him off the field. But Batman is still beating the shit out of petty criminals and Tim is desperate to help, so he allows Alfred (bless him) to call him a discreet doctor to ensure that his illness is not due to anything he was exposed to while Batman-wrangling before he’s allowed back on the field. Tim just wants it over and done with quickly so he can get back out there and—
He’s not allowed to back on the field.
He’s holding a little black-and-white picture of a literal human growing inside him and he is absolutely benched until there is no longer a literal human growing inside him.
Doctor Thompkins lays out his options, is brutally honest about how his body (too young, too small) will handle a pregnancy (not well), and asks if there is anything he wants to tell her (if there’s anyone Batman needs to put in jail for touching him). Tim doesn’t have long to consider his options—he’s nearly too far along for most clinics to be comfortable performing an abortion (although, given his age, they might be sympathetic enough to bend the rules if Doctor Thompkins can’t perform the procedure for him).
He decides to keep it, a parting gift from his friend Robin to be cherished beyond his death. There is a difficult conversation with Bruce about the child’s father (no, you can’t arrest them, they’re already dead, no, I’m not defending a heinous rapist, it’s your goddamn son, Bruce, this is your grandchild). An unforeseen but extremely welcome consequence of this is that Batman starts pulling his punches, now that he has something to live for again. He looks only half-broken now and he offers Tim a room at the Wayne manor when he finally learns about Tim’s extremely absent parents.
(Tim worries about how to break the news to his parents until he no longer has to worry about it because his mother is dead and his father is in a coma and god he wanted to avoid having that conversation with them but this wasn’t how he wanted it to happen.)
Properly benched now for the foreseeable future, Tim picks up remote vigilante-wrangling instead (from Babs?) and makes headway in some cold cases. He pulls out of school to be homeschooled instead, keeps out of the public eye, and generally avoids leaving Wayne manor because a thirteen-year-old pregnant omega living alone with an adult alpha (and his butler) is a Very Bad Look even for Brucie Wayne and Tim would rather not be known as Bruce Wayne’s child bride thank you very much.
Life proceeds in this manner, the child is delivered by Caesarian with very little fanfare. It is, unfortunately, very difficult to hide the presence of a whole infant. The public settles on the theory that the child is Bruce’s illegitimate son from one of his many dalliances and Tim allows the misconception to propagate simply because no good can come out of him, all of fourteen, publicly claiming his child. But it still stings, just a little. He made this child, held him safe in his womb for eight months. He puts him to bed and nurses him and loves him so much but nobody outside the manor will see it.
Tim bursts back into society when he’s officially adopted by Bruce. He refused to register his son as Bruce’s (it takes some extremely deft work by Oracle to file the appropriate documents for Tim’s claim on his child to be legally valid without alerting the press) but he also understands that Bruce wants a legal connection to his grandchild, so he becomes his son’s dead father’s legally adopted brother. It’s a mess, but at least people who should be are allowed into hospital rooms. It’s not like it will matter, right? Jason’s dead, right?
Wrong.
Jason is very much not dead and very much bewildered by the presence of a baby Wayne that isn’t Damian and it completely derails his plans to exact revenge on Bruce for not killing the Joker. It fucking hurts to see that he’s been replaced by not one but TWO new children but at least they aren’t Robin. At least no one is Robin. At least one of them is Tim, his lonely friend who deserves a family. He returns to Gotham, heads to Crime Alley, becomes Red Hood, and buries himself in shooting out enough kneecaps to push Bruce and Batman from his mind. That was another life. He’s fucking furious at Bruce and his replacements but god the baby has the same curly hair that Jason did and Jason can’t help but think that Bruce might actually have missed him, at least a little.
But probably not enough to love Jason as he is now, full of anger and rage and impulse to hurt hurt hurt the people who hurt others. He channels it all into cleaning up the Alley, perhaps more aggressively than Batman would (should) have, but Batman doesn’t give enough of a shit about the Alley to know that what he’s doing isn’t enough and it’s up to Jason to get his hands downright filthy if he wants to make any changes around here.
Tim notices Red Hood, because of course he does. And it takes him no time at all to realise, oh, that’s Jason. That’s Jason.
#jaytim#notfic#there's potential for drama here if Jason finds out that the kid is Tim's while still thinking it's Bruce's#especially if Jason and Tim have become friends/lovers as adults#I want to be a fly on the wall when Jason punches Bruce not for Joker still being alive#but for knocking Tim up when he was 'just a fucking child you fucking freak what the fuck'#Bruce with a hand on his smarting cheek like a wronged maiden: ???? that's YOUR child????? what are you on??????
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Hmm so it turns out tumblr won’t show posts in tags if the blog is really new to work around bots. So I guess I’ll make a one or two random posts here before trying to post the notfic again.
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