I think I'll post all of my poetry here :p
Instagram: @diaryofawornoutgirl
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皮爺手作鞄革所
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Heartache
“My heart hurts exceptionally more than usual, today. This aching organ will only stop being so when it dies. Until then, I will bleed on paper, the ink that flows through me. I do not know what I will make of the lost ‘moments’ and ‘memories’ that pierce the walls of my chest. And I do not know how long this will last. I only know that when I have finally figured my way out of this misery, my heart will give in to its rest. All I will hear from its once rhythmic beat, will be an echo of the words:
‘Breathe, my dear. You have bled for too long. It was always more than enough. You were just unsatisfied. Let go now. It's over. It's okay.’”
#poems on tumblr#poetry#nostalgia#poets on tumblr#sad poems#december#melancholia#sad poem#therapy journal#Spotify
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be grateful for your life, because somewhere in the world there's someone dreaming of that life.
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I cry
When I was 24 I sat in a backstage dressing room in London, buzzing with anticipation. My backup singers and bandmates gathered around me in a scattered circle.Scissors emerged and I watched in the mirror as my locks of long curly hair fell in piles on the floor. There I was in my plaid button down shirt, grinning sheepishly as my tour mates and friends cheered on my haircut. This simple thing that everyone does. But I had a secret. For me. It was more than a change of hairstyle. When I was 24. I decided to completely reinvent myself.
How does a person reinvent herself, you ask? In any way I could think of. Musically, geographically, aesthetically, behaviorally, motivationally. And I did so joyfully. The curiosity I had felt the first murmurs of while making red had amplified into a pulsing heartbeat of restlessness in my bars. The risks I took when I toyed with pop sounds and sensibilities on red? I wanted to push it further. The sense of freedom I felt when traveling to big bustling cities? I wanted to live in one. The voices that had begun to shame me in new ways for dating like a normal young woman? I wanted to silence them.
You see, in the years preceding this, I had become the target of slut shaming, the intensity and relentlessness of which would be criticized and called out if it happened today. The jokes about my amount of boyfriends. The trivialization of my songwriting as if it were a predatory act of a boy crazy psychopath. The media co-signing of this narrative. I had to make it stop because it was starting to really hurt.
It became clear to me that for me there was no such thing as casual dating, or even having a male friend who you platonically hang out with. If I was seen with him, it was assumed I was sleeping with him. And so I swore off hanging out with guys, dating, flirting, or anything that could be weaponized against me by a culture that claimed to believe in liberating women but consistently treated me with the harsh moral codes of the Victorian era.
Being a consummate optimist, I assumed I could fix this if I simply changed my behavior. I swore off dating and decided to focus only on myself, my music, my growth. And my female friendships. If I only hung out with my female friends, people couldn't sensationalize or sexualize that, right? I would learn later on that people could and people would.
But none of that mattered then because I had a plan and I had a demeanor as trusting as a basket of golden retriever puppies. I had the keys to my own apartment in New York and I had new melodies bursting from my imagination. I had Max Martin and Shellback who were happy to help me explore this new sonic landscape I was enamored with. I had a new friend named Jack Antonoff who had made some cool tracks in his apartment. I had the idea that the album would be called 1989. And we would reference big 80's synths and write sky high choruses. I had sublime, inexplicable faith and I ran right toward it, in high heels and a crop top.
There was so much that I didn't know then, and looking back I see what a good thing that was. This time of my life was marked by right kind of naïveté, a hunger for adventure. And a sense of freedom I hadn't tasted before. It turns out that the cocktail of naïveté, hunger for adventure and freedom can lead to some nasty hangovers, metaphorically speaking. Of course everyone had something to say. But they always will. I learned lessons, paid prices, and tried to… don't say it don't say it. I'm sorry, I have to say it. Shake it off.
I’ll always be so incredibly grateful for how you loved and embraced this album. You, who followed my zig zag creative choices and cheered on my risks and experiments. You, who heard the wink and humor in "blank space" and maybe even empathized with the pain behind the satire. You, who saw the seeds of allyship and advocating for equality in "Welcome to New York". You, who knew that maybe a girl who surrounds herself with female friends in adulthood is making up for a lack of them in childhood (not starting a tyrannical hot girl cult). You, who saw that I reinvent myself for a million reasons, and that one of them is to try my very best to entertain you. You, who have had the grace to allow me the freedom to change.
I was born in 1989. Reinvented for the first time in 2014, and a part of me was reclaimed in 2023 with the re-release of this album I love so dearly.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine the magic you would sprinkle on my life for so long. This moment is a reflection of the woods we've wandered through and all this love between us still glowing in the darkest dark.
I present to you, with gratitude and wild wonder, my version of 1989.
It’s been waiting for you.
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Stephanie Garber, Once Upon a Broken Heart
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GONNA GET THESE TATTOOED WOWWWWW
animals in taylor's albums + symbolism
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*deep, heavy sigh*
Virginia Woolf, The Years
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AAAHAAÆAAHHHHSHHWWWIUSYSHSKAJSGSISNSJKSJSJSLWOSYSJWHSIDHEYXUDIE
@taylorswift
#taylor swift#1989 taylor's version#1989 vault tracks#1989 vault puzzle#1989 vault opened#screaming crying throwing up#punch me in the face
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"Melancholy and Joy are lovers and I reside in the chaos of their union." -Unknown
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‘Inconsiderate Men In Power’: version 1
“You’re awfully loud for a man,
the world's always willing to hear you out...
You only yell 'cause you can and want to...
I have to yell to be heard”
M
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I LOVE HER SO MUCH MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT
argumentative antithetical dream girl
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i rewatched Miss Americana with my brother (14y) and throughout the docu, every time Taylor spoke about her struggles & feelings, I felt & understood it with more depth than he did.... I could see it in his face, he was just watching it, I was relating to it....
that made me realize that no matter how good a man is; however kind and understanding he is, he's still just a man... who won't know what it's like to be a woman ....
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- Fernando Pessoa, from 'The Book of Disquiet'
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swifties & kaylors, how are we doing??????
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“I’m not a poet... I’m just a woman”
- I am something, somewhere between these lines
🫠
Are you drunk?
I'm a poet.
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do you feel it?
the bittersweet winds have returned
once again reminding me of the peace
that I shall never hold again
they dance the willows
and carry my woes
and return them back to me
with each gush
it takes away from me
everything that weighs
then retorts it all
heavier than before
along with new epiphanies
uncertain as I will ever be,
the wind will always come back to me
Sunday, July 16th, 2023
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