has this been done yet
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really love dynamics that are like 'it honestly doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic, the point is that they love each other. the type of love is inconsequential, all that matters is that it's there'. gotta be one of my favorite genders.
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omg this is so precious
â© â§âË â© iâm afraid thatâs just the way the world works (but i think that it could work for you and me)
synopsis. suguru stumbles across two girls that need a home. somehow, one step at a time, you both find yourselves navigating parenthood
contents. not canon compliant at allâthere are still curses, but it's literally an au where everything turns out happy LMAO, teacher! suguru, husband! suguru, fem! reader, reader is referred to as "wife" and "mommy," hints at child neglect/abuse (nanako and mimiko's backstory), yuji, nobara and megumi are the ones that save nanako and mimikoâthe timeline is inaccurate bc the twins are still kids when megumi and co. are teens, single dad! satoru who raised megs and tsumiki (tsumiki is ALIVE and NOT CURSED) <3, it's just fluff tbh, it's overall healing and happy i promise
word count. 5.4k (sigh...this was supposed to be a drabble)
notes. yeah i am telling u i literally shoved every fix-it fic idea for jjk into one fic okay and u will all nod along and agree with it. this was supposed to be a drabble but i literally just could not shut up so now its a fic
âthere are these two girls,â suguru says quietly at dinner one night, pulling you from the comfortable silence. you look up as you swallow, eyeing him as you nod carefullyânothing is ever a normal conversation when your husband is a jujutsu teacher. nothing is ever a normal conversation when youâre capable of jujutsu in general, youâve learned that well by now.
âokayâŠâ you say slowly, âand are they your students?âÂ
they must be new, if they are. you know all of suguruâs students; you know them well enough to pick birthday presents and bring what they each like from the bakery. you donât think you know of these twoâthey must be new.
âno,â he breathes, âno, theyâre too young for that. maybe someday,â he adds hopefully.
âmaybe someday,â you agree thoughtfully.
suguru loves teaching. itâs not something he ever saw himself doingâbut life is dark at one point, a constant cloud looming over his head as it screams itâs over! your youth is over.
sometimes it hits him all at onceâno one was there to protect suguruâs youth, no one was there for satoruâs or nanamiâs, and certainly not haibaraâs. no one was there to make sure they could be kids, that the sun could still shine and chase the clouds away.Â
so suguru becomes a teacher. heâs fond of the kidsâand they like him too. geto sensei, they call, geto sensei, look! and then he pauses in the hall, holds back an amused chuckle before turning to face an overly enthusiastic yuji and nobara. megumi is not far behind, that disgruntled look on his face as always, but if you look closely, his eyes are soft and laced with something close to fondness.
geto sensei is a favoriteâmuch more of a favorite than gojo sensei is, to satoruâs utter dismay. you canât help but watch proudly sometimes, canât help but watch how much suguru has grown as he interacts with those kids, how much heâs allowed himself to grow, how much heâs let himself try to chase the sun instead of letting the clouds convince him the light no longer exists.Â
âtheyâre five,â suguru continues, poking the soba in front of him as he doesnât meet your gaze. âthe kids found them on a mission. in a cage.â
you know what that means instantly. you look at suguru, watching as his eyes stare numbly at the food in front of himâsometimes, you worry that suguru will once more fall victim to those bone-chilling thoughts he shares with you one night. sometimes you worry heâll slip and fall once more and you wonât notice this time, wonât reach your fingers and grasp him at the last second.Â
but he blinks, looks up and meets your eyes this time, stares into them and searches them for what he needs. he finds it, you think, because thereâs light returning to them once more.Â
maybe itâs hope, maybe itâs acceptance. maybe itâs neither, and heâs just happy to have you to come back to when the world gets too burdensome. youâre not sure, but you do know youâll always be there, right where he needs you.
âwhat happened to them?â you ask gently, âwas it their parents?â
âno,â he shakes his head, âthe villagers. their parents are dead.â
itâs not newâyouâve seen it before too. children tend to notice their techniques at this age. itâs not new to hear about children with no family history of sorcerers being labeled as some type of other in the family, in the community, or in the village.Â
suguru is lucky in that wayâhis mother and father see him as something special, something worth celebrating, something greater than they could ever hope to be. you meet them once every year, just for a few days. they love you, greeting you with kind smiles and warm hugs, pulling you inside as they get dinner ready. you visit his old room and smile as you rake your fingers over the figures on his desk and the cdâs he used to collect. his mother keeps his room in perfect condition, even after all these years.Â
you remind him to call more. sometimes, he triesâjust for you, he tries. itâs hard for him, you realize. sometimes suguru is guilty; sometimes, heâs haunted by what he almost did but thankfully didnât. itâs hard to face his parents ever since, even if theyâre blissfully unaware. itâs easier to love them from afar, he thinks. but you insist he calls more, so he does. sometimes hearing his motherâs voice is what he needs, even if he doesnât like to admit it.
âsoâŠwhatâll happen to them?â you ask quietly.Â
âtheyâre at the school for tonight,â he mumbles, âthereâs enough bedrooms, anyway. butâŠâ
but they canât stay there forever, is what he wants to say, you know that. staying at jujutsu high is hardly enough for children so young. they need a proper home, a proper family. you canât help but stare down at your own bowl of soba. itâs hard to watch children suffer like this. itâs especially hard on suguruâhe chose to teach to help those kids, to be there. somethings, however, cannot be fixed by simply being there.
âand then what will happen after?â
âthey need a home,â he says quietly, âandâŠlisten, i know we never reallyâŠweâve never discussed something like this. butâŠmaybe for a while, just until something better is decided, we couldâŠâ
you know what heâs trying to say before he can even say itâyou and suguru have never discussed children. you donât think you ever really want to, and youâre fairly certain he feels the same. itâs hard to lose haibara when youâre just a young kid, hard to live with the fact that someone so young and hopeful about the world is here one second and then gone the next. you see nanami sometimesâheâs kind to you, greets you politely, and asks how you are. but nothing about him has ever been the same since that day.
will your children meet the same fate? will you have them one second and lose them the next? will you patiently wait for them to come to visit the next chance they get from school, only to get a phone call no parent deserves to hear? theyâre common in the jujutsu world. itâs a risk every parent has to take. some are selfishârightfully so. some donât care to let their children master their techniques, arguing itâs better to have a child thatâs incapable and alive than gifted and dead. what if your children end up like nanami? the one who manages to live but can never accept the fact, not when someone else is dead. how will you be a pillar of strength? how can you tell them itâs okay to live as long as itâs not them whoâs dead? how can you help them grieve when you are always grieving yourself?
you donât think you ever want children, and you think youâre right in your assumption that suguru agrees.Â
but those girls need a home, and you know the look on suguruâs face means options are limitedâscarily so. you look at him for a while, look at him and see the way heâs got his heart set on these two girlsâsuguru has lost more than you ever could, and if this is something he thinks he should do, you think it might be worth a chance.
âbring them for dinner tomorrow,â you say finally, bringing soba to your lips, âiâd like to meet them.â
itâs not a straight answer, but itâs a start. suguru nods, smiling gently at you before he continues with his own dinner. itâs silent after that, but itâs not uncomfortable. he still steals your last bite of soba at the end, and you still roll your eyes and let him. you wash the dishes together after that, argue over whose turn it is to rinse and whose turn it is to dryâitâs routine, and youâre grateful you have something to look forward to in this cruel world, something you can count on regularly.
âââââ
hasaba nanako and hasaba mimiko.Â
those are their names. megumi says so when he first brings them to suguru. nanako is blonde, a bit bolder than mimiko, whoâs brunette. nanako is older by five minutes, and she likes to remind everyone when she can. mimiko holds nanakoâs hand when sheâs nervous, and nanako squeezes tightly with a smile. theyâre a mellow pair, despite it all. a little distrusting and a little nervous when too many people are in a room at once.
they take a liking to suguru, however. satoru is a bit too loud and boisterous for them, but suguru is kind and soft and gives them gentle head pats when they cooperate and answer his questions. on the way home, he asks them if theyâd like something from the bakery.
it leaves them a bit quiet, right until he looks over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow as he awaits their answer.
âweâve never been to one,â nanako answers quietly, the first to speak between the two, as always.
âis that so?â suguru asks gently. they nod, still holding hands.
children of five summers, and they have never picked out a cake for even a birthdayâhe wonders why that is. they shouldn't have shown signs of having cursed techniques so young, there should be no reason to mistreat them so early onâthe conclusion he comes to makes him even unhappier. parents should never have children if they arenât willing to love them, he thinks bitterly.
âitâs alright,â mimiko says finally, âwe donât needââ
âcome on then,â suguru grabs nanakoâs free hand, gently pulling them both along the busy streets of tokyo, âmy wifeâs favorite bakery is around the corner. weâve tried everything they have by now, so youâll have to tell us whatâs your favorite, yeah?â
itâs nanako who answers again first, nodding slowly before she smiles hopefully. âokay,â she murmurs.Â
from the corner of his eyes, suguru notices mimiko gently pull her hand from her sisterâs, quickly taking a few steps as she walks across in front of him before promptly finding herself on his other side. her hand reaches for hisâitâs slow, a bit unsure, so he grabs it delicately, giving a small squeeze as he grins down at her.
âwait until you try the strawberry cake,â he hums, âthatâs my favorite.â
âââââ
suguru comes home with two small girls on either side of him and more bags than you can count from the bakery just five minutes from your apartment. you blink before rushing over and taking a few bags from his hands.
âdid you just buy one of everything or something?â you ask incredulously, staring at all the boxes of goods within the bags.Â
he grins that closed-eye smile of his, crinkles forming in the corners as he says, âwell, of course,â like itâs the most normal thing ever to buy one of every item in a large bakery in the heart of tokyo. âthe girls have never been to a bakery before so i thought we could let them try everything and rank them.â
you look down at the girls, who stare at you nervously as they cling to each other. instantly, as soon as you meet their eyes, you canât help but drop down to your knees to meet their level as you smile softly.Â
âwhy hello there,â you murmur, ruffling each head gently. they like thatâsuguru texted you that earlier, that they seem to brighten considerably when he offers them a gentle pat on the head in affection. âwhat are your names?â
âiâm nanako,â the blonde one answers instantlyâsuguru is equal parts shocked and equal parts pleased by her new air of confidence. he wonders if sheâd be a bright and energetic child right about now, if the world hadnât crushed her under and forced her to live meekly. âand iâm older by five minutes.â
âhello nanako, the eldest by five minutes,â you answer seriously, nodding as though itâs a crucial fact to her identity, âitâs a pleasure to meet you. and what about you?âÂ
the brunette clutches her sisterâs hand a little tighterâbut nanako seems to have deemed you as safe. anyone geto sensei (as the other kids seem to call him) trusts is someone they donât have to be on guard around. she nudges mimiko gently, encouraging her to tell you her name.
âiâm mimiko,â she says quietly. she seems to be holding a small, pink stuffed toy. itâs seen better days, you think, but a nice wash and a few stitches to the top of its head should have it looking quite a lot better.Â
âand hello to you too, mimiko,â you smile, âare you younger by five minutes, then?â
she giggles a little at that before nodding, âi am,â she assures, âbut iâm smarter.â
âare not!â nanako says instantly, gasping. you and suguru share a look, amused and fond and relieved all at once.
âwhat a lovely toy,â you murmur, tracing the eyes with your finger. she droops a little at thatâlike being reminded of its condition is something that breaks her spirit.
âitâs ripped,â she mumbles, âit wasnât before.â
âi can fix it,â you offer, âsuguru is always ripping his uniforms, but lucky for him, his sweet little wife here is a fixer-upper.â
âreally?â she brightens. you nod, chuckling as you ruffle her hair, doing the same to nanako, too, when she eyes you hopefully from the side.Â
âthat sounds great,â suguru interrupts, âbut i believe i have cakes that need to be tried and mouths that are not trying.â
you rise, rolling your eyes and standing next to him, and his hand gently grabs yours. thank you, he squeezes. always, you squeeze back.
âwell, come on, girls,â you usher. mimiko grabs your free hand, and suguru grabs nanakoâsâyou all make your way to the dinner table. it feels oddly natural, you think. âwe have desserts to try. the chocolate one will definitely be your favorite, i can feel it.â
âitâll be strawberry,â suguru says confidently.Â
you meet his gaze, grinning at him as he stares at you hopelessly in love. itâs always been enough, you and suguruâitâs always been more than enough with just the two of you. so enough, that you never wanted more. but this is nice too, you think. this is something you could get used to, even if it breaks the routine youâve learned to love just a bit.
âââââ
nanako and mimiko stay at your house that night, and somehow, that turns into a week. sometimes, suguru takes them with him to school, just to handle a few things that are still to be taken care of regarding their case. you find you miss three instead of one while youâre home alone for the day.Â
they return cheery each time, bags of deserts in hand and a newfound glow in their eyes. mimikoâs toy is much cleaner now, and the small rips have been carefully sewn shut by you from the first night they spend. she clutches it everywhere she goes, hugs it in her sleep too. itâs hopelessly endearing.Â
nanako takes a liking to suguruâs phoneâheâs a bit too giving with her, you think. sheâs managed to figure out his passcode rather quickly, and he lets her get away with it, watching her small fingers work the buttons of whatever game she's downloaded with a gentle look of affection over his features.Â
on the days that suguru goes to school alone, the girls are left in your care for the dayâyou donât usually have someone to keep you company while youâre at home. youâve quit being a sorcerer long ago, deciding that itâs not worth the constant back-and-forth tug of war with life and death.Â
perhaps it's selfishâpeople are dying every day, and you sit and let it happen, but you canât help it. itâs too much, sometimes. suguru has always supported it, though, has always murmured that youâre doing the right thing and that sorcerers deserve quiet, peaceful lives, too, if they wish. so you do just that, stay home and learn a new dish or two through the day, watch a few shitty sitcoms on the television, leave and do some grocery shopping for the week, and return home to your quiet little apartment (as quiet as an apartment can get in tokyo, that is) and wait for your husband to come home.Â
suguru comes home by seven pm every day and gives you a soft kiss on your forehead as he says, hello, wife, to which you giggle and murmur, hi there, husband. you have dinner after that and share details about your days with each other. yuji and nobara are arguing again, suguru will tell you sometimes, i think nobara will cave and talk first this time, though. i brought fresh strawberries from the seasonâs harvest, you murmur behind a glass of water to your lips, got them just for you, sugu.
itâs been a routine like that ever since your marriage. you marry suguru quietly when you barely turn twenty, just a room full of the few people you dare let yourself love and the two of you as you sign the papers and share a kiss. thereâs an extravagant meal waiting for you after, though, courtesy of gojo satoru, a man with more money than he could hope to use on himself. satoru is happy that dayâhappier than youâve ever seen him in a long, long while. he takes his bandages off, sits and watches everything, and takes it all in even if itâll bite him back in the ass later with a long, pounding migraine.Â
today, however, is a saturdayâschool is out, and anyone who doesnât have a mission is free to have the day to themselves. suguru hasnât taken a large mission in ages, years, even. he accepts small ones here and there, and if it really calls for it, he joins a tough one with his studentsâbut itâs for their sake more than anything. but the big ones are too much for him to handle regularly anymore. the higher-ups arenât happyâspecial-grade sorcerers are hard to come by, and itâs unfair that the lower-grade ones are busting their necks out there more than he is. but suguru deserves a semblance of control over his well-being, and with satoru on his side, there isnât much of anything the higher-ups can really do.
he sits on the couch, scrolling through his phone as you click the remote, finding something to watch.Â
âyou know, we should really talk about this,â suguru mumbles from the side. itâs early, still. barely eight am, and the girls are still sleeping. theyâll be up soonâand with that, will be gone any moment for you and suguru to share a private moment.
they didnât warn you about that part of kidsâyou knew it was a busy job, watching over them, but you figured leaving them to play for a bit would grant you some peace. you and suguru quickly learn that children, no matter how well-behaved and disciplined, always need a watchful eye on them.Â
âtalk about what?â you yawn, âitâs too early for you to speak in codes.â
âthe girls,â he says, unimpressed. oh. right.
âwhat about them?â you say, dancing around the edge of the real issue. he sees right through youâyou know he will. still, youâre petulant enough to try and dodge the topic anyway.
âitâs been a week,â he says seriously, âthose kids think this is their new home. itâs cruel to make them think that any longer if we donâtâŠâ
keep them. let them stay. let them become a part of this home and, by extension, this family that has always just been you and suguru. raise them. take them in. take responsibility over them. love them.Â
can you love? like that, at least? are you meant to be a mother? youâre too selfish, you thinkâyou couldnât even stay fighting curses for long, too weak to care about those who need you, and too focused on needing yourself. can you handle two children? if you do this, you canât do anything else but do it rightâitâs what they deserve. but you donât know if you can give them what they deserve.
but there arenât many better options either, you remind yourself.Â
suguru seems to know what youâre thinking because he murmurs, âi think itâs easier to raise children than be a sorcerer,â he says quietly.Â
you raise an eyebrow skeptically. âyou can walk away from being a sorcerer, suguru. being a parent is for life.â
âbeing a parent means you get to love,â he reasons, âunconditionally. without regrets. without a contract, you know? loving a sorcerer is just betting how long someone has left to live, at the end of the day.â
âhow morbid of you,â you snort.
âtheyâre good kids,â he says quietly, âgreat, even.â
âtheyâre lovely,â you agree. and then, quieter this time, âiâŠi would miss them. more than i care to admit.â
âme too,â he nods.Â
your head falls to his chest, and he presses a kiss to your head, wrapping his arms around you. suguru has always loved youâwhen the world was not worth loving, and the people were not worth saving, suguru had loved you. he still does. and the way you love him is enough to make all of those things change. the world has a little more hope, and the people are a little less ugly when youâre there to prove not everything is bad. that even where the bad exists, the good can follow. as long as he has you, suguru is completeâbut he thinks more is not always so bad.
âsuguru?â you ask gently. he hums, rubbing a thumb over your knuckles as he squeezes your hand, âwe wonât force them,â you say firmly, âto do anything. they should exist as themselves if they want to. cursed techniques or not.â
he smiles. you donât see it, and you donât have to. you know itâs that deep, eye-crinkling smile thatâs heartfelt and real.Â
âno, we wonât force them,â he agrees, âtheyâre perfect as is.â
âââââ
the girls are given the option to each get the two spare rooms you and suguru have in your apartment. that leaves ultimately no guest room, but you think they deserve to have their own space and be their own people after everything. but, as you and he had expected, they choose to share a room and stay together.
youâll never forget the looks on their faces when they realize theyâre staying here permanently, the look of pure excitement and the slightest hints of shockâyou never realized how fulfilling it could be to make two children smile like that.Â
âwe canât paint the walls,â you hum, âwe donât own this place. but we can still decorate,â you offer.Â
they donât seem all that disappointed about not being able to paint their wallsâinstead, theyâre too excited about their beds, giggling as they jump on the mattress. suguru wants to tell them that jumping on mattresses is bad for the springs, but you stop himâthey deserve to be kids for a bit. after that, youâll teach them. but for now, they deserve to just be kids.
âcan we get lights?â nanako asksânow that you and suguru are guardians to two children (parents seemsâŠa bit too overwhelming to use right now), spontaneous dates donât happen one on one anymore. evidently, itâs hard to find babysitters on the spot, and leaving them home alone is not an option, so you decide to simply bring them along on your weekly sunday afternoon cafe visit. nanako takes a liking to the lights on the walls, and mimiko eats three slices of cake.Â
you canât wait to bring them next week, too.Â
âyou sure can,â suguru hums, chuckling.Â
âand a mirror?â
âof course,â you nod, âyouâll certainly need one to make sure the beauty sleep works.â
nanako giggles, flopping onto the bed, and mimiko sits not long after, still hugging that toy to her chest as she looks around the room in wonder. theyâve been sleeping in it for over a week now, but now that they can officially call it their own, they seem to be much more attached.
âi want pink sheets,â nanako hums.
âi want blue,â mimiko mumbles, looking at you shyly.Â
âwell,â suguru murmurs so that only you can hear, âmaybe we can get them two beds. smaller oneâtheyâll fit on either side.â
âand what do we do with this one, then?â you raise a brow.
âweâŠsell it?â
âsuguru, are you trying to drain every last bit of our savings?â
âwe have plenty,â he chuckles, âwe donât ever do anything.âÂ
that much is trueâyou and suguru hardly leave tokyo let alone japan, and though you let yourselves splurge on nice things, there isnât much to spend on between two people. but the last few days have really put into perspective howâŠexpensive raising children can be. clothing and school supplies (theyâll attend a normal school) and room decor and snacks, and anything else children require to be children is quite denting to bank accounts.Â
but you and suguru canât say you mindâand if nanako and mimiko want pink and blue sheets, wellâŠyou think you can make that happen.
âi think weâre spoiling them,â you mumble, âshould we be doing that?â
he wraps an arm around you and pulls you against his chest as his nose presses to the top of your head when he kisses it. heâs warm, just like he always isâmaybe warmer now, in fact.Â
ânah,â he grins, âi think weâre doing great.â
âââââ
the girls take their time to warm up to satoru, but when they finally do, he seems to be a favorite. satoru is very proud of this factâheâs not a lot of childrenâs favoriteâŠwell, maybe yujiâs perhaps, but you donât think yuji has a single bone in his body that could really dislike anyone. or rank them, to be quite honestâyou donât think he prefers satoru or suguru over the other.
âoh, kids,â satoru calls, stepping into your apartment and letting himself in. you and suguru are in the middle of making dinner, looking back in shock from the kitchen as satoru waves enthusiastically at you both.
âsatoru, how did you even get in?â you ask, raising an eyebrow. he grins, practically giggling as he points to your husband.
âsuguru gave me a key.â
âwhat?â suguru sputters, âno, i didnât!â
âyou let me borrow them,â satoru concedesâthatâs still not even anywhere near the truth.
âi left them at your place and kindly asked you to bring them to me at work the next day,â suguru corrects, crossing his arms and looking thoroughly unimpressed.
âyes, and i did what you should have done a long time ago and made myself a copy,â satoru huffs, âiâm the best friend! i deserve a keyââ
âgojo sensei!â the girls call.Â
as most kids do, they pick up what they hear around them. everyone seems to refer to satoru and suguru as gojo sensei and geto sensei. theyâre not students, but nanako and mimiko both pick up on the habit tooâand itâs helplessly adorable, you canât deny.
sometimes, you want to correct them, but they seem excited to see satoru, so you let the moment pass.
âthere they are!â satoru beams, taking his blindfold off and crouching down to meet them in the eyeânanako and mimiko seem to find satoru infinitely more approachable when his eyes are out and easy to look into. you canât imagine whyâhe looks like a creep. âi brought dessert! because whatâs life without something sweet, right? are these two feeding you girls the sugar you need to grow into tall, healthy young women?â
âthis is why you should never be allowed near children,â you say flatly.Â
satoru looks at you with a pointed look, âi practically raised megumi and tsumiki, yâknow. saving young siblings and giving them a nice home life is old news, i already did that. be more original, please.â
what a jackassâyou scowl at him, throwing the wooden spoon in your hand at his head and watching as it doesnât even touch him and falls to the floor. curse his infinity.
âokay, now,â suguru chuckles, âi donât want to spend the evening looking after four children instead of twoââ
âgeto sensei! thanks for having us over for dinner,â yuji interrupts, stepping through the door that satoru took such great care not to close, âfushiguro was a bit of a hassle to convince, though.â
suguru throws a sharp glare at satoru as soon as three of their students step into your homeâyouâre going to have to forget the dinner youâre making and order takeout, you think. satoru will pay.
âthis is why you didnât get a key,â suguru hisses, âbecause then you act like you own the place.â
âi wanted a family gathering,â satoru gasps, âtsumiki is coming too! wait for her.â
despite the way suguru grabs satoruâs hairâand satoru, for some reason, turns off his infinity and lets himâyou notice the corners of your husbandâs mouth twitching into a gentle smile, and you know heâs thinking the same thing as you. familyânanako and mimiko are here, and so are yuji, and nobara, and megumi, and satoru (the biggest headache), and soon, tsumiki too.Â
familyâyes, this is family, you think.
âââââ
âdaddy, iâm hungry,â mimiko tugs on suguruâs sleeve.
âi know, pumpkin, just give me a second andââ
âdaddy, look! i beat the high score on my game andââ
âdaddy is looking, sweetie, just give me one minute, nanako, yeah? daddy will look andââ
âwow,â satoru chuckles, grinning amused, âyouâre really worn thin.â
âsatoru,â suguru grumbles, âif youâre not going to help, then please leave.â
nanako and mimiko are seven now. in two years, their personalities have really blossomedâsomething which you and suguru are very grateful for. the world should not crush children so young that they donât get to be the children they are meant to be. you and suguru take great care to make sure they know they can be kids.Â
and they areâthey whine about bedtime and pick at their vegetables and point at everything in the store and plead for something new. theyâre childrenâyour children, and you canât help but love them unconditionally so.
âwell, welcome to fatherhood,â suguru snaps, trying his best to make lunch and entertain the two girls waiting for his attention.Â
suguru is a good fatherâa gentle one, in fact. he comes home every day from work and grins, asking in that smooth voice of his, where are my ladies? and just like that, you and your two girls meet him with excited grins. you peck his lips before he crouches down and pulls two small bodies against his chest, letting their tiny arms wrap around his neck as he hoists them up.
itâs a perfect little routine, one you cherish greatly. but the girls are getting older, and soon, theyâll be too heavy to carry like this. it makes you a little sad to think aboutâbut if thereâs one thing youâve learned, breaking routine isnât always so bad. soon there will be a new one, and when you outgrow that, another new one, and so on.
what wonât ever change is the way you love suguru, and he loves you, and you both love your daughters, and they love you both too.Â
âdaddy,â nanako calls, âwhereâs mommy?â
âat the store, nanako,â he says patiently, sighing. this is the fifth time sheâs asked.
âwhen will she be back?â
âsoon, nanako,â he smiles assuringly, âat least, i hope so,â he adds quietly, under his breath.
satoru hears, thoughâand he cackles, heinously loud, too, as he watches the scene unfold in amusement. but satoru is suguruâs best friend, and yours too. and the girls love him. heâs familyâand so are their students.Â
itâs nice, suguru thinks, itâs nice to have something worth smiling for.
âiâm home!â you call, âis satoru here? because the door was unlockedââ
âmommy!â the girls call, cutting you off with the pitter-patter of small, excited little feet hitting the ground and greeting you.Â
âwhy hello,â you gasp excitedly, laughing as they tackle you in a hug.
you and suguru share a smile as he looks backâfamily, itâs what youâve both built here. itâs slow at first, and sometimes it wasnât easy. at one point, it was just the two of you, just you and suguru, and that was okay. you didnât think you would ever be capable of letting it be moreâbut itâs nice when it grows, you think. maybe one day, you can dare to hope to grow it some more.
the scene were they got 2 bedsâthat was me and my sister when we first moved into our weeeee lil apartment back when i was in middle school !! we were bummed bc we couldn't paint the walls but our parents let us have 2 beds so we could pick our sheets !! it was a fond memory LOL but now i DO have a room where i painted the color except i HATE the color now bc i was still in middle school when we moved into our house and got to pick colors and middle school me and adult me are soooo different so now i have a teal bedroom that haunts me
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Gojo Satoru has 100% put a padlock through Getoâs earlobe and ran away with the key.
On the rare days Geto doesnât wear his usual solid plugs (or when heâs about to put them in), Gojo turns into a completely different type of menace that makes Geto seriously consider strangling him.
It all started when Geto opted to wear tunnels instead of his usual plugs one day. Gojo started acting weird (more weird than usual), giving him weird looks throughout the day and eventually asked the earholed(?) teen in question about them.
Once the White Haired Little Dingus found out that Geto simply switches it up from time to time was the day that Padlock Wars started.
That same night of aforementioned day, Gojo snuck up behind an unsuspecting, tired Geto and slipped the padlock in his ear, locking it before running away with key hanging from his finger.
Ever since that day, Geto has worn the tunnels less and less, and ended up just not wearing them anymore. The memory of Geto having to beg Shoko to pick at the padlock and waiting for it to finally unlock all while wishing he was asleep after a long day, haunted him. But that didnât stop sneaky Satoru.
Somehow, Mr. Honored One developed a spidey sense for when Getoâs earlobes would be open for padlocking. In the early hours of the morning he would strike, teleporting to Getoâs room and committing the act in a flash. He would then teleport back to his own room and pretend to be asleep while Geto barges into his room and chews him out for the cursed act. Gojo always kept a padlock in his pocket for instances like these.
Time wasnât too kind for the duo, and the days of being a student at jujutsu tech had been long over for Gojo Satoru. He doesnât keep padlocks in his pockets anymore, but he keeps the first one he ever used on his other half on his nightstand. A reminder of simpler and happier times.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this drabble! I saw this one picture (I will repost this and post the picture in question) and I just ran with it. I hope yâall have good days and good sleep! <3
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this was the photo that started everything
Gojo Satoru has 100% put a padlock through Getoâs earlobe and ran away with the key.
On the rare days Geto doesnât wear his usual solid plugs (or when heâs about to put them in), Gojo turns into a completely different type of menace that makes Geto seriously consider strangling him.
It all started when Geto opted to wear tunnels instead of his usual plugs one day. Gojo started acting weird (more weird than usual), giving him weird looks throughout the day and eventually asked the earholed(?) teen in question about them.
Once the White Haired Little Dingus found out that Geto simply switches it up from time to time was the day that Padlock Wars started.
That same night of aforementioned day, Gojo snuck up behind an unsuspecting, tired Geto and slipped the padlock in his ear, locking it before running away with key hanging from his finger.
Ever since that day, Geto has worn the tunnels less and less, and ended up just not wearing them anymore. The memory of Geto having to beg Shoko to pick at the padlock and waiting for it to finally unlock all while wishing he was asleep after a long day, haunted him. But that didnât stop sneaky Satoru.
Somehow, Mr. Honored One developed a spidey sense for when Getoâs earlobes would be open for padlocking. In the early hours of the morning he would strike, teleporting to Getoâs room and committing the act in a flash. He would then teleport back to his own room and pretend to be asleep while Geto barges into his room and chews him out for the cursed act. Gojo always kept a padlock in his pocket for instances like these.
Time wasnât too kind for the duo, and the days of being a student at jujutsu tech had been long over for Gojo Satoru. He doesnât keep padlocks in his pockets anymore, but he keeps the first one he ever used on his other half on his nightstand. A reminder of simpler and happier times.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this drabble! I saw this one picture (I will repost this and post the picture in question) and I just ran with it. I hope yâall have good days and good sleep! <3
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Gojo Satoru has 100% put a padlock through Getoâs earlobe and ran away with the key.
On the rare days Geto doesnât wear his usual solid plugs (or when heâs about to put them in), Gojo turns into a completely different type of menace that makes Geto seriously consider strangling him.
It all started when Geto opted to wear tunnels instead of his usual plugs one day. Gojo started acting weird (more weird than usual), giving him weird looks throughout the day and eventually asked the earholed(?) teen in question about them.
Once the White Haired Little Dingus found out that Geto simply switches it up from time to time was the day that Padlock Wars started.
That same night of aforementioned day, Gojo snuck up behind an unsuspecting, tired Geto and slipped the padlock in his ear, locking it before running away with key hanging from his finger.
Ever since that day, Geto has worn the tunnels less and less, and ended up just not wearing them anymore. The memory of Geto having to beg Shoko to pick at the padlock and waiting for it to finally unlock all while wishing he was asleep after a long day, haunted him. But that didnât stop sneaky Satoru.
Somehow, Mr. Honored One developed a spidey sense for when Getoâs earlobes would be open for padlocking. In the early hours of the morning he would strike, teleporting to Getoâs room and committing the act in a flash. He would then teleport back to his own room and pretend to be asleep while Geto barges into his room and chews him out for the cursed act. Gojo always kept a padlock in his pocket for instances like these.
Time wasnât too kind for the duo, and the days of being a student at jujutsu tech had been long over for Gojo Satoru. He doesnât keep padlocks in his pockets anymore, but he keeps the first one he ever used on his other half on his nightstand. A reminder of simpler and happier times.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this drabble! I saw this one picture (I will repost this and post the picture in question) and I just ran with it. I hope yâall have good days and good sleep! <3
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ugh so cute!!
Couples Discount!
Okay, here it is, the daily chat scene I was supposed to write a couple days ago before I got distracted. I gotta say, I really enjoy writing for Diavolo. He's so funny, I love him.
Anyway, this got a touch suggestive at the end, so uh... there's that. I feel like it would be easy to write what happens next, but this is definitely a fade to black sort of situation lol.
GN!MC x Diavolo
Warnings: kissing, suggestive but it's all implied
DIAVOLO
I have news, MC!
Hell's Kitchen is offering a couples discount right now.
Would you like to join me for dinner?
MC
I'd love to!
DIAVOLO
Thank you!
I've decided to invite you whenever Hell's Kitchen has a promotion like this.
If people are going to gossip about my love life, then I'd prefer that they think I'm with you.
Please wait for a moment. I'm on my way to pick you up.
You sat across the table from Diavolo at Hell's Kitchen, enjoying the shadow goose meat and egg lasagna you ordered. It was a nice evening in the Devildom - breezy but not too cold. This had made the walk over here pleasant as you and Diavolo chatted about this and that. You had dressed casually for this outing, so you were comfortable and relaxed.
Diavolo had also changed out of his usual RAD uniform. When he had shown up on the steps of the House of Lamentation, you couldn't help but be surprised. He was wearing a pair of black jeans, a black button up shirt, and a tasteful selection of gold jewelry. He still looked like a prince, but he was more dressed down than you'd ever seen him. He looked cheerful as he escorted you down the street.
When you had arrived at Hell's Kitchen, the two of you decided to hold hands in order to really make it seem like you were a couple. The whole point was to get the couple's discount, after all. And though you didn't think they were going to make you prove it while you were with Lord Diavolo, you figured it would be more fun this way.
And that's all you were doing - having fun, fooling everybody, and acting a part. And yet you couldn't ignore the way your heart raced when he took your hand in his. The way your chest throbbed when he told the hostess that he and his date were here for the couple's discount.
As the hostess brought you to your table, Diavolo looked over at you and winked mischievously. You smiled brightly, hoping that he couldn't see the truth about how you were reacting.
By this point, after your food had arrived, you were feeling much more relaxed. It was easier when you weren't quite so close to him and you were preoccupied with what was going on around you.
It was just as Diavolo had said. People were paying attention. You could hear the gossip, see the furtive glances. Diavolo either didn't notice or didn't react. It was probably the latter. You thought he must have a lot more experience ignoring the stares of others than you did.
Earlier you had been a little anxious about the way you seemed to be reacting to pretending to be in a relationship with Diavolo. Now you were anxious about all the people who were gossiping about you being in a relationship with Diavolo.
Diavolo reached across the table and took your hand. You looked up from your plate in surprise.
He leaned forward a little and said softly, "Don't let their stares bother you, MC."
You could feel the heat of a blush across the tips of your ears. "How can you sit here and let them talk about you? You act like you can't hear it."
Diavolo laughed, letting go of your hand and leaning back in his chair. "I can't! Not anymore, anyway. It's only background noise to me now."
You shook your head a little. "It's seems so loud to me."
Diavolo's smile vanished. He wasn't frowning, but he certainly looked more serious. "I'm sorry, MC," he said. "I should have realized it would be difficult for you."
You gripped your fork harder and sat up straight in your chair. "No," you said firmly. "Don't be sorry. People should mind their own business. All that matters is that we're having a good time."
Diavolo's smile returned. "Are you having a good time?"
"Yes," you said. You waved your fork just a little. "This goose meat is delicious!"
Diavolo laughed again. "Ah, MC, being with you is always a delight!"
You laughed, too, seeing him looking so happy.
After you finished eating dinner, Diavolo escorted you back outside the restaurant and turned toward the House of Lamentation. But you weren't quite ready to go home yet. Impulsively, you grabbed his hand and pulled him in the other direction.
"MC!" he said, almost stumbling as you pulled him along. "Where are we going?"
"Wherever we want!" you said, laughing as you tugged on his hand. "I just don't want to go home yet."
Diavolo kept hold of your hand as you walked down the street, not at all sure where you were going. You just didn't want to leave him yet. The way he was smiling, the sparkle in his eyes, the gentle squeeze he gave your hand, it all gave you a confidence you might not have had in his presence otherwise.
The two of you ducked into various stores as you came upon them, stopping here and there to look at anything that caught your eye. Diavolo offered to buy you something in nearly every shop, but you always waved him off. You didn't want trinkets. You just wanted him.
You had found a dessert stand selling odd looking ice cream in a quaint plaza with a fountain and several benches. The two of you were sitting on one of the benches, having just finished the enormous desserts Diavolo had bought. There were some other people in this area, most of them walking by, but a few sitting on benches similar to yours.
You knew the evening had to end, even if you didn't really want it to. You sat there, looking out into the Devildom night, taking in the soft lights of the town. And then you realized that the people who were nearby seemed overly interested in you. Of course. They were looking at Diavolo. The whispers you heard in the restaurant earlier started up here, as well.
You sighed and looked over at Diavolo. "I guess we should go home now."
Diavolo tilted his head to the side. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," you said. "But you know, people are talking about us again."
Diavolo laughed. "I hadn't even noticed! But of course they are. And it's just like I told you before. They're going to talk anyway and I do prefer they think I'm with you."
"Oh?" you asked with a mischievous grin. "But really we haven't done much of anything to make them think we're together romantically, don't you think?"
Diavolo put an arm across the bench behind you and leaned in. You were surprised by the almost wicked look in his eyes. "What do you suggest we do about that?"
He was so close to you, but you still moved in just a little closer, somehow still not quite touching him. "You'll have to deal with any gossip more than I will. So you tell me."
"I'd rather show you," Diavolo said.
He put his other hand on your cheek as his lips met yours. They were soft and sweet. You knew people were watching, but you didn't care. Your mind was full of nothing but him. The touch of his skin, the scent of his cologne, the feel of his body so close to yours.
You reached forward and gripped his shirt, unable to keep your hands to yourself. You felt consumed by the heat that ran through you and you gently bit his bottom lip.
Diavolo pulled away and you felt like a fire burning against the cold that threatened to close in on you. Just as that flame was about to go out, succumbing to the loss of Diavolo's heat, he stood up from the bench and pulled you up with him.
Gripping your hands, a bright blush spread across his cheeks, Diavolo said, "Why don't you stay at the Demon Lord's Castle tonight?"
You glanced around at the plaza. You could hear the furious whispers of the people still watching you with the prince of the Devildom. It was as though by kissing you, Diavolo had really set off a storm of discussion. But then you remembered how he had said he wanted them to think he was with you. Everyone in this plaza certainly thought so now. Why not seal the deal?
You stepped closer to him and said softly in his ear, "Take me home with you, Diavolo."
The next day, you heard all about your own "night on the town" with Lord Diavolo from the seven brothers. They had read all about it in an unfortunate tabloid that one of them had gotten a hold of. You refused to answer any questions about it, telling them if they really wanted to know, they could ask Lord Diavolo themselves.
others in this series:
Mammon | Barbatos | Solomon | Lucifer | Leviathan | Asmodeus | Beelzebub
masterlist | Thank you for reading!
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â© â§âË â©ăwhat if youâre someone i just want around (iâm falling again)
synopsis. somewhere along the line, you started to hate suguruâthat doesnât mean you stopped loving him too
â word count. 9.5k (i am in misery)
â contents. post canon! au â fix it! (we all need a good fix it fic with suguru don't lie), this fic was started before recent manga chapters so the higher ups are still aliveâjust go with it ok :,), geto survives + lives free of kenjaku, exes to lovers, kind of redemption i suppose, mentions of blood, injuries, and weight loss (geto), mentions of canon character deaths (nanako, mimiko, nanami), mentions of wanting to raise children with geto and have a family, no gendered terms but reader has a personality and actual thoughts and feelings, references to the hunger games (you have movie night lol), BFF satoru (he is babie), there is a kiss yâall !! (scandalous i know :O)
â notes. i started this fic back in march and i had trouble with it and put it on pause for a while. iâm very glad i finished it in the end. i always like fix it! fics and this is self-indulgent and idk if ppl will read it bc itâs sfw but itâs ok if they donât, i loved writing it. thank you koi for beta-reading this whole bad boy. mwah <333
the day suguru is declared a free man is actually the day he signs away his freedom for good.Â
you say nothing, but you know itâs the truth. satoru fights tooth and nail to plead suguruâs caseâyou think itâs perhaps a little too desperate for it to be in the best interest of suguru and not himself. but satoru has suffered enough, and admittedlyâalthough you deny itâa small part of you does not want to lose suguru twice. you watch as satoru argues that suguru has already died onceâsurely he canât die again? and losing control of his body and mind is paying for his crimes enough, is it not? he argues that there are no ideals left for a man like geto suguru to chase after losing himself to every principle he had left.Â
and then satoru wins.Â
you expect it, but it doesnât make it any easier. you watch numbly as suguru is assigned under your watch. you should be happy. you love suguruâyou never stopped. but it doesnât change the fact that heâs not a free man, and now he drags your freedom with his. youâll never break away from him, never cut through the ropes that tie your hands behind your back and bind you to himâand then you wonder for a moment, unsure if itâs selfish or selfless or some cruel in-between to think this way, if geto suguru was better off dead.Â
whether thatâs for your sake, or his, youâre not sure.Â
and yes, heâs let off alive, and sure, thereâs no real punishment for all heâs done, but you know deep down heâs as chained and shackled as heâs ever been. heâs not allowed to leave the house unless you or satoru are there to chaperone, and itâs never to be anywhere near non-sorcerers. heâs not to live in a place of his own until the higher upâs deem him trustworthy. he has to ask you to buy the things he wants from the grocery store. he canât even step outside for a smoke unless youâre aware.Â
for a long time, he doesnât speak muchâcan hardly muster a barely audible morninâ back when you force a smile and greet him cheerily for breakfast. slowly, it turns into half-snarky conversations that get cut short by one of you leaving the room. finally, youâre civilâmaybe even friendly. youâre not so sure where you stand with him as of now.
itâs not the same suguru you remember falling in love with, itâs not even close to the version of the man you fell for all those years ago. itâs hard having him hereâsome days youâre angry and want to throw him out, to scream at him for haunting you again just when you think youâve moved on from the horrors of your past. some days you want to cry and cling to him, bury your face into his neck and thank him for being here again, for finding his way back to you. and some days you wish you never met him at all, that this would all be easier if it didnât exist in the first place.Â
heâs not the same geto suguru you loved, but somehow, because life is as bitter as it is ruthless, you fall in love with this version just as hard no matter how much you deny it.Â
âi made your favorite,â you smile gently, placing a neat plate of french toast with freshly cut strawberries on the side. you even take great care to get the syrup-to-powdered sugar ratio he likes right, but he doesnât make a move to reach for the plate. instead, suguru sits at the table stiffly, like he has to be here or there are consequences for that too. it almost makes you sadâeven here, heâs not free.Â
âthanks,â he says quietly, âbut iâm not hungry.â
âyou said that last night, suguru,â you sigh, âand at lunch. and at breakfast. and at dinner the night beforeââ
âiâll eat it later,â he cuts you off, playing with the ends of his hair.Â
itâs a lot shorter now. itâs you who finds his body battered and bruised after the smoke clears. heâs almost unrecognizable, not the same charming and perfect suguru youâre used to seeing. not the same silkened strands and smooth skin, not the same muscled and toned body, not the same chiseled jaw and soft cheeks. instead, heâs a shell of himself. his hair is matted in knots, his body is almost frail, and you notice the sunken hollows of his cheeks and dark undereyes as you lift him from the rubble a little too easily. but his body is his ownâthat much you can tell from the way the stitches have disappeared.Â
it takes shoko a long time to nurse him back to healthâit takes even longer for him to open his eyes.
you waited day and night by his side, hand over his as he breathed slowly, unconscious and unsuspecting. it would be so easy, you think one night, it would be so easy to kill him and forget and move on.Â
youâve already grieved him once before. youâve felt and conquered the pain of loving geto suguru and losing him first to himself and then to death. but love is as selfish as it is selfless, and itâs under your mercy that you let him liveâyet itâs under your cowardice that you keep him close.Â
âyou have to gain back the weight you lost, suguru,â you sigh, âyouâre wââ
âweak?â he finishes for you, eyeing you for a second and then grinning. itâs unsettling, a grin that makes your skin crawl and your heart stop for a moment before heâs reaching for the fork and stabbing into his toast. âis that what you wanted to say? that iâm weak?â
âsuguru, you know thatâs not how i meantââ
âyouâre not wrong,â he hums, chewing on the first bite as he speaks, âi suppose i am pretty weak right now, huh? couldnât even kill you in your sleep if i tried could i?â
your throat is dry as you shrug, âi suppose not,â you whisper.Â
âah,â he grins again, âbut that doesnât stop you from locking your door every night, does it?âÂ
suguru is still healing. his body is weak, and sometimes, he leans against the wall as he walks. his arm is healedâyouâre not entirely sure how, but you catch him rolling the shoulder out every now and then like itâs sore and stiff. heâs lost a lot of weightâpart of it is from being bedridden for as long as he was, injured and half alive, and part of it is from barely eatingâsave for the few bites you force into him. you never thought thereâd be a day when you could say thisâbut the odds of you beating suguru in hand-to-hand combat are high, and the reality is an everlasting reminder that he is not who you fell for.Â
you swallow, letting out a shaky breath as he watches you closely, diligently cutting another bite from the french toast sitting on his plate as he stares you down like he can see past your soul. you donât know whatâs scarierâthat suguru can still practically see yours, or that youâre unsure he even has one anymore.Â
âyou tried coming in?â you ask, unsure what else to say. he merely shrugs, takes another bite, and sets his fork down.Â
âthought iâd check on you,â he pops a strawberry half into his mouth as he speaks.
âis that what it really was?â you raise a brow, âor was i right to lock the door?â
youâre not sure why you lock the door at night. maybe itâs because you donât trust him, or maybe itâs because you donât want him near you just yet. youâre not sure. youâre not sure how satoru can go back to his cheery self, how he can step through your door and boom a loud yo, suguru! before settling beside suguru on the couch with his feet on the coffee table as he rambles away. maybe itâs not realâmaybe itâs satoru desperately pretending that if he tries hard enough, things can go back to how they were.Â
but you donât know how he still has the energy to try, and you donât know if you have it in you to try anymore yourself.Â
you and suguru stare each other down like that for a bit, the tension rising with every silent second that passes. youâre sure he doesnât want to be here as much as you donât want him aroundâbut youâre also sure heâs glad itâs here with you as much as youâre glad itâs with no one else.
âyou tell me,â he smirks after a bit, the hint of amusement making your fists clench. how dare he have the audacity to look at you like that in your own home? like he has the upper hand over you without trying? âwhat do you think i was there for?â
âi think you should stay in your room, suguru,â you say carefully, âi bought a new bed just for that room.â
âhow sweet of you,â he hums. he sips the tea before himâitâs cold by now, but itâs just how he likes it, rose with one sugar. âyou must have been excited to have me.â
âhardly,â you mumble bitterlyâyou canât help it. you want him to feel hurt, even just a little. you want him to know that just because heâs back, it doesnât mean youâve waited all this time for him to be. liar, a part of you says, youâve always waited for him, havenât you? but suguru doesnât seem phasedâhe doesnât even blink.
âthen tell me, why am i here?â suguru asks, his tone is as casual as ever.Â
i wish i knew, you want to say. i wish i knew but i donât.
âbecause satoru asked you to be,â is all you can say.
he nods, pushing back his plate and standing up, offering you that same grin. âyouâre right,â he hums, âthatâs exactly why iâm here.â
it hits you why his smile is so unsettling once he leavesâitâs almost genuine, like heâs still loved you all this time. impossible, you tell yourself. suguru stopped loving you a long time ago. and you need to stop trying to figure out why.Â
ââââââââââââââââ
even despite telling yourself you donât care what suguru thinks, a small part of you needs to prove to him youâre not scared of him. that you donât fear for your own safety in your home, and that him being here is not some form of him haunting you. you donât care. he shouldnât get the luxury of thinking you care. he can come in and watch you sleep like the creep he is if he wantsâyou couldnât bother to give it a second thought.Â
the first night you take a chance and leave the door unlocked, suguru slips into bed beside you. it wakes you up instantly, and before you can question it, his head tucks into your neck, and his hand grasps your shirt tightly. you notice the panting almost instantlyâand then you realize, it must be a nightmare.Â
you fall into old habits, even after all these years, defaulting to care for him like itâs second nature.Â
âyouâre safe, suguru,â is what you settle for saying after a moment of contemplation. itâs all you can really think to say, so you brush your lips over the top of his head as you murmur, âyouâre safe,â over and over again.Â
as difficult as it is to have suguru around, as painful and cruel and aggravating as it is to be reminded of his distant existence even as heâs two doors down, this part feels natural. itâs almost like youâre back in jujutsu high, waking up to him sneaking into your room as he presses his weight over your body and wakes you with soft kisses along your face.Â
except this time, heâs not annoyingly demanding cuddles or telling you about his weird dream, heâs not stealing your blanket and demanding you play with his hair. this time, itâs not the same suguruâand this time, itâs not jujutsu high.Â
itâs your room. the one you got on the other side of town to leave the sorcery world behind, somehow still stuck right in the center of it no matter where you go. and yet, just like all those years ago, your legs tangle, and your arms wrap him up, and you murmur, âyouâre safe,â while he catches his breath.Â
âbut theyâre not,â he mutters in between labored pants, making you pause.Â
and then you remember.Â
faintly, you recall the blonde and black hair from a distance, you remember bitterly wondering whatâd it be like watching suguru fathering children of your own as you came to the reality that it would never happen. sometimes, you wonder if you hate nanako and mimiko for existing, for living as the dreams you never got to live through with suguru.Â
itâs selfishâto hate two children because they are what you do not have.Â
but then you feel something wet hit your neck, and then you wish they were okayâfor his sake. and just for a moment, youâre selfless again.Â
âtheyâre not safe,â he mutters, making you sigh.Â
âthey are,â you whisper, hesitating for a moment before letting your fingers slip into his hair. you scratch gently at his scalp, feeling his body melt into yours almost instantlyâlike itâs a response thatâs natural to him. âtheyâre not suffering. not anymore.â
âis that supposed to make me feel better?â he scoffs. you shrug, letting your cheek press against the top of his head as you sigh.
âit helps me feel better,â you say softly, ââs just how you learn to cope.â
itâs an understanding you both silently come to. loss on both sides. bloodshed on either ground. defeat no matter which ideal you take. to love is to bear the pain of mortalityâitâs a lesson that you never cease to learn until the ends of time itself.Â
âthe jujutsu world is one of suffering,â he grits, sniffling into your neck. you hum, pressing a kiss to his head as your eyes close.Â
âevery world is one of suffering, suguru, you canât erase them all. the sooner you realize that, the easier youâll find peace.â
you fall into a slumber after that, faintly aware of the way he shuffles closer to you, faintly aware of the soft kiss pressed to your skin as sleep takes over your body and drifts you out of consciousness.Â
when you wake up the next morning, suguru is gone, and the door is closed. the blanket is tucked up to your chin, and your neck still tingles from last night.Â
ââââââââââââââââ
âget up,â you throw a pillow at suguru, waking him up with a start as he sits up. his hair is tousled and messy from sleepâitâs now long enough that he can put it in a bun without strands slipping from the bottom anymore. you chuckle as he glares at you, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he groans.Â
âthe fuck was that for?â he grunts, holding the blanket up to cover his exposed chest.Â
itâs funny that he does that, in a way. itâs not as though you havenât seen his chestâŠand then some too. itâs not like you havenât torn his shirt off to stanch the flow of blood from his injuries before or feel the bare skin with your palm under the pale moonlight as the lingering scent of sex breezes through the room.Â
but somehow, even though he doesnât need to cover his chest around you of all people, youâre glad that he does. truthfully, it keeps you slightly comforted to know that heâs aware youâre still technically strangersâno matter how well-versed you are in each otherâs pasts. but you donât ponder on it too much. instead, you grin, shoving aside the visual of the small glance you caught at his pecs, and you clap your hands to motion him to hurry.Â
âwe are going grocery shopping,â you say casuallyâas though itâs not something to make him raise a brow in shock.
âme?â he points a finger at himself. you roll your eyes, and he challenges you with another raise of his brow. âarenât i supposed to stay away from civilians?â
âyes, you,â you nod, pointing back at him, âand satoru has worked overtime to get you granted permission to roam around with me. he says youâre welcome, by the way.â
âtell him to go fuck off.â
âthatâs ungrateful,â you say flatly, âhis feelings will be hurt.â
âhis feelings will find a way to cope,â suguru huffs. âi donât want to be aroundâŠthem,â he says bitterly.Â
you suppose itâs wishful thinking to hope suguru has let go of his past beliefs. perhaps heâs long abandoned the possibility of the vision he once planned on bringing to life, but you canât say you expected him to revert back to the old suguru who fought alongside you and satoru. you yourself certainly have no intention of returning to the sorcery world after all the events, so you canât say youâre shocked by the lack of change he seems to show. but then again, you suppose suguru has changed. whether he sees it or not.Â
he stays here and doesnât put up a fight to leave even though he can now that heâs healed. he eats lunch when you tell him and even washes the dishes. sometimes, when you come home a bit late, dinner is even ready on the table as he sits and stares at you expectantly. his plate is empty like yoursâlike heâs been waiting for you even though he doesnât need to. you suppose you can see heâs changed in the way he doesnât scoff at the tv channels you surf through, he silently sits on the opposite end of the couch now and watches with you, and perhaps if youâre lucky, youâll hear a light chuckle or a quiet sigh as the scenes roll on the screen.Â
you suppose suguru is a step closer to suguru every day he spends with you, but you donât know if suguru is what you need right now. not suguru, not suguru, and certainly not geto suguru. perhaps that name shouldâve been buried away as a distant memory, perhaps it shouldâve only been something you unlock once every year on his death anniversaryâwhen satoru clambers through your door drunk and unsteady as he clutches the hand that killed his best friend, only to share pancakes with you in the morning and pretend like you donât notice the dried tears on his cheeks while he acts like he doesnât catch the way your hand shakes as you cut into your breakfast.Â
but suguru is here now. whether itâs as geto suguru, one half of the strongest duo in jujutsu high, whether itâs as suguru, the love of your life and the sole reason you exist, or whether itâs as suguru, the curse user and mass murderer who haunts your past, present, and everything in between.Â
so you simply sigh, grab the pillow again, and hit the top of his head before walking over to the door as you call over your shoulder, âiâm gonna wait for you by the door in fifteen minutes. be ready or face the consequences..â
âno thanks. donât wanna,â suguru grumbles petulantly, frowning at you as you stick your tongue at him, smirking as if youâve just played your ace.Â
âtoo bad,â you sing before swinging the door shut.
heâs at the door in exactly fifteen minutes, like he waited until the last possible second to join you as a move of spite. but you simply gesture him out the door and lock up, taking your sweet time as he stands there with an annoyed face. you stare at the doorknob once youâre done, taking a deep breath before turning to him with your best smile.Â
âletâs go,â you hum.
âafter you,â he mutters.
â
he grimaces as soon as he sees the people going about their business, clearly unhappy with the idea of being around non-sorcerers, but one sharp glare from you has him sighing and trekking along. the grocery store, admittedly, is not as bad as suguru thinksâin fact, there are lots of things he doesnât realize he misses until he watches you grab a shopping cart.Â
suddenly, he sees shadows. the silhouette of your figure climbing into the cart, the angry wave of satoruâs hands as he claims it's his turn to be pushed around, the figure of shoko pinching the bridge of her nose in irritation from the backâand then, he sees the dark shadow of baggy pants and a small bun. itâs him. suguru watches himself almost in slow motion through the remnants of his imagination as he gently shoves satoru out of the way and reaches to poke the tip of your nose before he pushes the cart with you in it. Â
itâs a happy memoryâand itâs gone all too soon.
as soon as he blinks, the shadows have disappearedâinstead, itâs you waving a hand in his face, concern written on your features as you call his name.Â
âsuguru? hey, hello? are you with me?â
he exhales, pulled from his trance as he gently grabs your wrist from in front of his face and sets it down as he nods, âyeah, iâm fine. just thinking,â he mumbles.Â
for a second, you hesitate, like you almost mean to say something. but in the end, you only nod before turning to grab the shopping cart. but he stops youâgrabs the handle and turns to you with a small smile on his face, making you raise a brow as he gently moves you away.Â
âwhat are youââ
âget in,â he grins, making you stare at him in bewilderment.Â
âwhat?â
âjust get in,â he sighs, âyou love it when you get to sit in the cart.â
âiâm not a teenager anymoreââ
âget in, will you?â he groans, âalways so damn difficult.â
âhey,â you pout, glaring at him with your hands planted at your hips, âthatâs rude.â itâs cute. suguru stares at you with amusement in his eyes and a soft look on his face that you donât think youâve really seen in years.Â
âhumor me,â he hums, âjust get in, okay?â
so you do.Â
with a huff and a grumble under your breath, you fight back a smile and climb into the damn cart just like old times. you swallow and try not to let it get to you when he reaches over and pokes the tip of your nose and pushes the cart around, letting you name off the things you need from your list while he grabs them. and when he sneaks snacks into the pile, you roll your eyes and glare at him in the way you always didâthe one that isnât actually annoyed. fond. happy to let it slide because itâs him.
âwe need candy,â you murmur, âthatâs the last thing on the list.â
âokay. what kind?â he asks, turning the cart into the candy aisle and smiling softly down at you.
âdoesnât matter, satoru eats anything as long as itâs sweet. heâs more likely to die from sugar than fighting a curse, i think.â
âyou buy candy for satoru?â he asks, making you shrug as you reach over and grab a few bags of candy off the shelves, setting them down beside you.Â
âhe comes over a lot so i learned to keep stuff stocked up for him. you know how he gets when heâs hungry.â
suguru feels something he hasnât felt since he was a teenager. jealousyâspecifically of satoru.Â
suguru is not foolish. he knows as soon as he meets gojo satoru that of the two, one of them is stronger and itâs definitely not himself. for the longest time, heâs okay with that, okay being the strongest only when alongside satoruâuntil heâs not. and even if suguru always had a bit more attention in the romance department than satoru, in his head heâs always known that perhaps satoru can keep you safer, more well off, maybe even happier. with smooth smiles and eyes as welcoming as an oasis, gojo satoru would never leave you in the dark pit of misery as suguru once had.Â
something about the thought of you and satoru keeping each other company through the lonely years, filling that empty spot suguru left behind, sharing moments over candy and empty wrappers makes suguru wonder for a moment if perhaps heâd be happier if he stayed. maybe he could have worn a heartfelt smile in a world that carves them off the faces of sorcerers with bloody knives as long as you were there to wipe the blood. Â
but before he can dwell on it, you snatch one more bagâthis time of his favorite candy, placing it into the cart and grinning gently up at him.Â
âi havenât bought this one in years,â you admit, âi almost forget how it tastes.â
âme too,â he says quietly.
âwell,â you hum, âweâll have to have some when weâre home.â
home. you say it as though it belongs to him as much as it does you, and then like you always have, without even meaning to, you wash away the dark stains of his jealousy with no trace left behind.
âyeah,â he chuckles, âweââ
âdaddy, look! candy!â suguru is cut off by the gentle pitter-patter of two tiny feet running into the aisle, pointing at a bag of candy as a man follows close behind.Â
his breath hitches.Â
sheâs small, the girlâshe has two pigtails with soft strands of blonde hair falling out of the loosely tied bands. it reminds suguru of the first time he perfected tying up nanakoâs hair, the soft giggles behind her tiny hand as she twirled in the mirror.Â
thereâs another girl in the manâs armsâdark hair on her head as she curls into her fatherâs chest and tucks her head into his neck when she sees you and suguru in the aisle. sheâs shy, he realizes, like mimiko, and suddenly he remembers the tiny fingers that used to hook into his pants when she got too overwhelmed by the people around her, waiting for suguru to scoop her into his arms.Â
perhaps in another life, suguru would redo everything differentlyâheâd be happy with you and satoru and shoko, and nanami and haibara would be there too, well and alive. but no matter what, heâd never redo nanako and mimiko differently. heâd never change a thing about them, not even the way nanako whines too much about small things or the way mimiko never speaks up even when something is clearly bothering her. heâd never change the way he saved them and took them in at the tender age of eighteen, too lost to be a father but choosing to raise them anyway. heâd never change the feeling of pure joy and unbridled pride when they climbed into his bed for the first time, shushing each other so as not to wake himâeven though heâd awoken as soon as the door to his room opened.Â
because he realized that night that yeah, maybe heâd made mistakes in his lifetime, lots of them too. maybe heâd made a bad choice choosing the path he did, or maybe he didnât. heâs never been completely sureâjust that he had to try at least to make his vision for a different world come to life. but one mistake he never made was his girls. one thing he was always sure about was the soft clutch at his pants and the tiny hands reaching for his own.
suguru wouldnât change anything about nanako and mimikoâexcept maybe the fact that they arenât here, gone because of him.Â
âsuguru?â you ask softly, reaching for his hand as he grips the cart tightly and pulling his gaze away from the family in the distance.Â
he blinks, meets your eyes, and knows that you know. with one glance at your face, he knows you understand. the world is cruel, one filled with suffering, he thinks. but then he remembers what you said, that every world is full of suffering, not just hisâthat itâs a truth he has to come face to face with.
but itâs hard. itâs hard when this man has his two little girls and suguru does notâitâs hard to watch someone have what he wants with no worries of losing it, all because of people and their own weaknesses. he thinks for a moment that heâs been right all alongâthat non-sorcerers are too weak for this life, that the jujutsu world has always suffered so they donât have to.Â
but then the man speaks up, catching both of your attention.Â
âyour mother used to love those,â he says quietly to his daughter, a pained smile on his face. instantly, you and suguru both seem to understand the weight of that single sentence.Â
every world has its own pain, suguru realizes. its own cruelties and unfairness, its own way of bringing suffering in its wake as it rips away the things closest to you from your begging fingertips, leaving them cold and empty and numb from the lost weight underneath them.Â
âletâs go, suguru,â you whisper, âwe have everything we came for.â
âyeah,â he whispers back, clearing his throat so his voice doesnât crack, âletâs go.â
suguru leaves the grocery store with you after you pay, and for a brief moment, heâs unsure. unsure whether heâs grateful to satoru for fighting for him to be able to come and grateful to you for dragging him along, or if he wishes he died along with the rubble, gone before you could find him and turn him into this.
âbefore you even think about hiding away in your room,â you say, grabbing the bags from the cart as you put it back where it belongs, âyou have to help with putting away the groceries.â
âsure,â he says smoothly, grabbing all the heavy bags from your hand, and you make a move to protest that you donât need him to take the heavier ones, that youâre fine and can handle them like youâve always handled them.Â
but he walks off, and finally, you decide to simply follow.
ââââââââââââââââ
satoru likes to come and visitâyouâve started a routine movie night every week (unless heâs away, of course.) itâs fun, but it also means he makes your veins pop because heâs a headache like thatâalways makes himself right at home and eats your snacks like this is his place and not yours. he helps himself to your already limited candy and puts his sock-clad feet up on the coffee table no matter how many times you tell him not to.Â
you try sitting with legs as long as these, he always whines, earning a harsh glare from you as you smack at his shins until he ultimately caves and begrudgingly sets his feet down.Â
but then they always make their way back up to the coffee table, and youâre too busy enjoying his company to careâalthough youâll never admit it.Â
satoru is endearing like that, swallowing the dark clouds from your shoulders whole and eating up your burdens with that side of responsibility that you donât think you could ever stomach. satoru is just like that, you realize, taking the brunt of the weight and laughs off every concern until you canât help but not take them seriously yourself.Â
itâs hard to remember that sometimes you didnât just lose suguru, the love of your life, that night. everyone lost something. shoko lost someone to smoke with, yaga lost a student to scold, nanami lost a headache to avoid, and satoru?
wellâŠsatoru lost what you think mightâve been the only filled void of his miserably empty life.Â
itâs hard to remember that satoru lost his best friendâthe only best friend heâs ever had (although you like to think of yourself as a close contender)âbecause heâs so good at letting you forget. he brings you ice cream (that he eats half of because itâs only fair he gets a share), and he sits and hogs your couch (that he argues you donât really need as much space as him on because your legs arenât as long), and he watches those stupid sitcoms that are dry with boring jokes (that you used to make suguru watch back in the day).
itâs hard to remember that satoru also lost as much as you because heâs so damn good at making you forget about your own loss, you donât care to think about anyone elseâs for a while. just a short while. just until heâs yawning that obnoxiously loud yawn and stretching those awkwardly long limbs of his before he claims he really should go and that being the worldâs best teacher requires as many hours of beauty sleep as you can squeeze in.Â
and then heâs off. and itâs empty again. and just like that, youâre reminded of why he was there in the first placeâto fill in that sick and painful void that geto suguru left in you.Â
itâs gaping, like he tore a chunk of you right out with sharp teeth, like youâre just a piece of meat for him to get his fill of. if suguru really loved you, would you be so easy to let go of? why couldnât he smile? because you couldâgod, you could smile just from the sight of him alone, you realize a long time ago. him with his cigarette tucked between his lips, those death sticks as you called them, hung loosely from his mouth as he gives you a lopsided grin.Â
geto suguru is enough of a reason to smile. the world could crumble at your feet and leave you with nothing but rubble and dirt, and still, suguru is the core of the earth youâre searching for.Â
so why couldnât you be the same? what is it you were missing? what about you was just not enough for him like the way he was enough for you?Â
it dawns on you one night, through bitter tears and shaky sobs, and that sick, twisted, pleading feeling in your gut that begs the wind to carry him back to youâgeto suguru has never loved you the way you loved him.
and for that, you can never forgive him, you donât think.
âyou tryinâ to go bug-eyed?â he asks, settling down on the couch next to you, making you snap out of your trance. you shake your head a little, stare back at him for a moment before putting on that look on your face where you roll your eyes and pretend everything is fine.
âno,â you huff, âiâm just thinking.â
âaboutâŠ?â
âsatoru has rarely ever missed a movie night.â
âmaybe heâs sick of you,â he shrugs, grinning slyly at you as you narrow your eyes with a glare, âthereâs someone here to keep you company now so heâs probably taken his opportunity to run.â
âyouâre hardly company,â you scoff, âfreeloader.â
âhey,â he defends, shrugging as if itâs not his fault. you suppose itâs not. âi didnât ask to be rescued. you canât be high and mighty and petty. âs not how that works.â
âsays who? you donât make the rules. i can be graciously kind and a jerk all at once.â
âcomplexity,â he nods, âi like it.â
âiâm not as complicated as you might think,â you grumble, crossing your arms as you stare at the time. yeah, satoru isnât making itâwhich, he told you as much, but heâs strolled in at the last second too many times to count before. you figure today would be the same. âas long as you donât skip movie nights with me, iâm pretty simple to keep appeased.â
âalright,â he props his feet up on the coffee tableâseriously, what is it with asshole men putting their feet on your table? satoru is a terrible influence. âletâs have a movie night.â
âwhat?â you blink.
âmovie night,â he repeats, âyou said you donât like skipping movie nightââ
âwell, i meant i donât like satoru skipping movieââ
âwell, it was me before satoru, wasnât it?â he says with a smile. his eyes are closed, crinkled at the corners, but his voice is carefully neutralâlike he takes extra care not to let you see any emotion behind it.Â
but that only means there is an emotion, isnât there? is he jealous? does he hate the fact that you and satoru have a routine of your own without him? that you donât need him to continue living your life?Â
good. he should be. he walked out on you all those years ago. he killed a village. killed his parents. you never even got to meet themâhe never even got to take you home and introduce you to them before he ripped away every fantasy you ever had with him.Â
and now heâs backâhe has the audacity to live, to laugh in your face with his existence that yes, geto suguru is here. and he was supposed to be executed, but your stubborn friend didnât let that happen. he was supposed to be your husband by now with kids and a happy little home, and you were supposed to be his parentâs new addition to their family that they loved so much. but none of that is even close to happening, and itâs suguruâs fault, and the least he can do is show you some regret and maybe feel just the slightest bit bad that you now have to watch shitty movies with his best friend instead of him to feel normal.Â
ex-best friend? half best friend? you donât even knowâdo they still consider each other their best friends? does anyone consider suguru anything? you donât know what you consider him. but you think the least he can do is act just the slightest bit pathetic after making you feel so pathetic for so long just to even the score.Â
he should be a stranger. he feels like an old friend. but either is dangerous.Â
âalright,â you sigh, âlet's bring back movie night. donât fall asleep.â
âi get plenty of sleep nowadays,â he hums, âi have more than enough free time for that now.â
âhow lucky of you,â you snort.Â
â
picking a movie with suguru is difficult. he actually has standardsâsatoru watches anything so long as he gets snacks, and he can make anything fun to watch with the way he comments from the side like a critic. suguru, on the other hand, actually cares about the quality of a movie, the metrics that make it good.Â
so you pick the hunger games just to piss him off.Â
âseriously?â he raises a brow, âthis is your pick?â
âyes,â you grin, âi like these movies.â
âof all moviesââ
âmy house, my rules,â you grin cheekily, âyou can pick the movies as soon as you start paying the bills.â
âwow,â he deadpans, âstooping to use my financial status against me? i thought you were better than this.â
âoh suguru,â you sigh dramatically, grabbing a bag of chips from the table, âyou donât know me at all.â
all things considered, you think itâs a rather enjoyable experience. itâs not as fun without satoruâs stupid comments that you pretend to hate, but suguru provides his own commentary that earns a giggle out of you here and there tooâalthough his are not meant to be funny. but thatâs the appeal of it, you think.Â
âshe should have picked gale,â he mumbles. you raise a brow.
âpeeta was always there for her, did you miss the rain scene?â
âso was gale,â he says smoothly, grabbing a chip from your bag and making you scowl.
âgale killed her sister,â you point out, âand a lot of other people too. he was ruthless. she needed peeta.â
âgale did what he had to do,â suguru mumbles.Â
suddenly, it doesnât really feel like youâre discussing the movie anymore. it feels more than that. it feels sickeningâthe air is heavy, and your throat is dry and god, you just wanted a movie night and not this heaviness as you talk about stuff from the past without actually talking about it.Â
you blink before turning to your chips, playing around with the bag as you shrug.Â
âin the end he didnât get katniss, did he?â
suguru studies you for a moment, stares a little too deep into you that you start to feel the urge to bolt to your room and go to bed.Â
âguess not,â he says quietly, âguess thatâs the one regret he has, huh?â
you think for a second, as suguru stares at your eyes with something you canât quite read, that you might cry. you might cry and throw that half-empty can of soda in his face for speaking in codes and making you question what he means and remember your past. you might cry because suguru couldâve always gotten youâin fact, he had you.
itâs not fair. nothing is, but you canât help but dwell on it.
âiâm going to bed. itâs late,â you mumble after a few moments, standing. he only nods, staring at the tv as the credits roll. when you make it to your room and the door shuts behind you, you debate clicking the lock in place.Â
in the end, you donât lock the door. suguru climbs into bed with you once more later that night, shaking slightly from his nightmare but calmer than usual. heâs still gone by the time morning comes, and you still never mention it.
it hits you one night that maybe he still has youâmaybe you never let him stop having you, no matter what you say.
ââââââââââââââââ
suguru is good at cleaning while youâre away. you have to go out and do adult things like breadwinning and grocery shopping and bill paying. he dusts and cleans and even takes out the trash when youâre home to monitor him as he steps two feet out of your front door. sometimes, because you like to get on his nerves, you accidentally mess up a corner of the house just as he cleans it, laughing as he shoots you an unimpressed look.Â
âstop getting crumbs on the floor,â he mumbles, âi just vacuumed.â
âyou make a good malewife,â you giggle, âvacuuming and everything. how cute.â
âdonât call me that,â he grumbles, sitting down on the couch.Â
âbut you missed a spot,â you point to the crumbs youâve sprinkled from your fingers as you snack away, making him glare. âfailwife.â
âiâm going to divorce you and take everything,â he snaps, making you snort as you put your hands up in surrender.
âyou donât have to, you know,â you murmur, âclean, i mean. i can handle it.â
âi think i should carry my weight around here,â he shrugs, âsince you are basically sugar babying me around for now.â
âdangerous curse user to the world, but sugar baby to me,â you tease, pulling a chuckle out of him as he rolls his eyes.Â
sometimes itâs nice to have his company. suguru is good with banter like that, heâs not annoying like satoru where you run in circles. suguru makes you laugh from your belly, makes the hiccups catch in your throat as you double over. heâs always been like that, always known how to make laughter pour from your lips and trickle down your chin. itâs comforting to know he still knows how. it leaves a small bitterness that heâs still able to make you feel like this.Â
âby the way, next time you go shopping, take me with you,â he says casually, âi need to buy stuff for my hair. itâs growing.â
âyouâll finally see the sun just for your hair?â you gasp, âwho knew thatâs all itâd take?â
despite the playfulness in your words, thereâs still shock. suguru is willingly stepping foot outside your house. heâs finally choosing to return to life after living like a recluse no matter how many times you and satoru have tried to beg him to get up and go somewhere. the most you can get out of him is a walk around the neighborhood before he goes back to wandering your home and hiding away in his room.Â
suguru is returning to life, his life, and you canât help but wonder where that leaves room for you.
âmy hair is my charm,â he reasons, âwouldnât you agree?â
thereâs a smirk on his lips when he asksâitâs like heâs seventeen and teasing you again, giving you that unfairly flirty smile that used to make you stutter as a kid. back when you were hopelessly in love. back when it was you, suguru, and the world in your corner. back when you had dreams of your future, practically giggling as you planned it away in a notebook.Â
suguru was always perfect like that, the kind of guy you could only dream about. heâs always been handsomeâheâs always been the center of attention everywhere you went. you used to huff about it, about all the attention he managed to get from walking into a room alone. but then heâd smile, give you that tender look of his as heâd chuckle, and youâd be hopeless again.Â
he shouldnât have that effect on you anymore after over a decade. but he does. itâs cruel, the way the universe works. itâs like thereâs a magnet that pushes you together no matter how far you try to go, still pulled by gravity straight into his awaiting eyes and devilish smile.
âi cut your hair off once, i can do it again,â you huff. he laughs, itâs good-natured and kind.Â
âi was a bit heartbroken when i realized it was so short, i have to admit,â he says, âi didnât look like me.â
âyou looked good,â you say quietly, âi think youâd make anything work, to be honest.â
âyeah?â he grins, âany requests? i might consider it if itâs you.â
âoh shut up,â you roll your eyes, âhow about shaving your head bald? let's see how much charm you have without all that hair.â
âi could charm you without the hair still, couldnât i?â he winks.Â
itâs unfair how he acts like normal. like a few months in your home undoes everything heâs ever committed, all the atrocities heâs caused. the way he flirts with you feels like youâre his again. the way heâs aged and changed feels like youâre meeting someone new. you donât understand how suguru is so natural with thatâwith seamlessly falling back into a rhythm with you like nothing has changed at all.
deep down, you know that suguru is just moving on with his life. heâs making the most of what he can. he canât die, satoru would never let him have a peaceful death after all this. he canât go back to the way things used to be, whether thatâs his sorcery days or his curse user days, and he certainly canât start over. so heâs making do with what he hasâwhich is very little in reality.
itâs you, your home, and the biweekly visits from satoru and occasionally shoko. so he weaves you seamlessly into his life and treats you with a sense of normalcy you canât hope to treat him with. maybe itâs because suguru was actually able to move on after he left.Â
itâs the part you hated him most for. for building a family with new people. for having two girls that he raised as daughters. for finding people to follow him and trust. suguru, after he walked away from everything he ever knew, actually did something with his lifeâeven if it could hardly be considered good.Â
you? you fell deeper and deeper into a pit of denial until clawing your way back out was too impossible, until you had to leave behind everything youâve ever known to get away from the remnants of his existence.Â
itâs easy for him to weave you back into his life because he chose to cut you loose. it feels damn near impossible to let him weave back into yours after he tore himself from the edges and frayed away.Â
âdonât do that,â you sigh, making him frown.
âdo what?â
âyou know what, suguru,â you pinch your nose in frustration, âstop acting like things are normal.â
âthings are definitely not normal,â he snorts bitterly, âi think needing your approval to take the trash out is not equal to normal.â
âthen why are you acting likeâŠâ you trail off, unsure.
âlike what?â he raises a brow.Â
âlike we never changed,â you slam your hands down on the couch in exasperation.Â
he stares at you for a minute, blinks once, then twice, and then furrows his brows.
âwell, of course we changed,â he mumbles in confusion, âi know thatââ
you shouldnât have said anything. you quickly realize that. suguru is not trying to act like things are normalâheâs trying to be civil, and youâre just a fool. a fool who looks too deeply into everything and assumes what you want to out of things and god, youâve embarrassed yourself in front of your one and only ex-boyfriend in over a decade who was once dead and somehow came back to the land of the living.
of course, he knows things are not the same. he doesnât want what you think he does. itâs been years and suguru has moved onâhe had already moved on all those years ago, and youâre the only one here that is still focused on the past. and now he knows it too.Â
you stand before he can finish, nodding as you stare down instead of meeting his eyes, pretending to adjust your clothes.Â
âright, of course you do,â you nod, âi donât know why i said that. just ignore me, iâll be going to my room now. i haveâŠthings to do, so iâll beââ
âhang on,â he frowns, hand grabbing your wrist, âi donât mean it like that,â he says gently.
fuck geto suguru for being so confusing and fuck him for being nice about it too.Â
âyou can let go, suguru,â you pull at your wrist, âforget what i said, i wasnât thinkingââ
âi still feel the same,â he cuts you off, making your eyes widen, âif thatâs what you mean. i never stopped.â
never stoppedâthatâs almost worse than moving on. how could he have felt the same all those years and still never come back?
âthat does not help even a little,â you swallow the lump in your throat. âthat makes this so much worse, do you see that?â
âi know,â he sighs, âiâm sorââ
âdonât say youâre sorry,â you grit your teeth, âwe both know youâre not.â
âmaybe not,â he admits, âi had to try. and that meant leavingâiâm sorry thatâs not what you wanted.â
âitâs not!â you turn around, pulling your arm out of his graspâsuguru, for what itâs worth, takes the shove to his chest like a champ. âof course i didnât want you to leave and kill a bunch of people and have an execution stamped on your forehead and live your life without me.â
âi knowââ
âand now youâre back. back! in my house, eating my food and sleeping in my bed for half the night and i just have to act like this is normal. how is any of this normal?âÂ
âitâs not,â he agrees. heâs calm. so calm, it almost makes you mad. why is he so calm? ânothing about anything in our lives is normal. it never was.â
âyou ruined my life,â you blink back tears. he smiles sadly, taking a step closer.
âi guess i can take the blame for that,â he nods, hands finding their way to your hips. against your better judgment, you lean half your weight against his body. this is bad, very badâbut itâs also the best thing ever.Â
being close to suguru feels like the sunâs heat tearing through your skinâitâs warm. itâs pleasant. it leaves you parched and drained with a dry throat. but still, you need it to survive.Â
âwhy did you come back?â you ask tiredly. his hand finds the small of your back, rubbing slow circles.
âi donât know,â he hums, âi didnât really get a say. maybe i was always meant to, who knows?â
you look at him at thatâtilt your head to get a good look at his features. his eyes are more tired, and his cheeks are a bit more sunken in compared to the youthful flesh you remember him with. his hair isnât as healthy, and his forehead has the slightest traces of pale marks from the scars. but heâs still suguruâand you have always loved suguru, even if he gives you every reason to hate him.
âyou make my life unreasonably difficult,â you mutter.
he hums, smiling. âcan i?â he asks breathlessly, pleadingly. you stare at his eyes, he stares at your lips. you know what he wantsâbut fuck, you canât let him have it so easy.Â
âcan you what?â you ask, raising a brow slowly.
âare you really gonna make me say it?â he grunts, lips almost curled into a pout. itâs cute, the way he looks longingly at your lipsâitâs so cute and beautiful and dangerous all at once, just like suguru.Â
âyes,â you say, âyes i am. i deserve to hear it suguru, after everything you put me through. youâŠyou left me. i wasnât enough for you. i mourned you. i grieved a body i never even saw. do you know what that does to a person? to lose them not once but two times? the least you could do is tell me what you want,â your voice wavers just a little.Â
it shakes for the lost time. for the moments youâll never have. for the memories you lost. for the past thatâs tainted. time is cruel like that. but thatâs the beauty of it allâthe fragility. itâs like sand falling through the cracks of your fingers, every grain slipping from your reach but still soft and soothing against your skin as it falls. everything fades over time, everything starts to hurt one way or another. but it stops. it heals. it starts over. the sand fills the cup of your palms again, warm and delicate and just as beautiful as before it crumbled.Â
âcan i kiss you?â he asks desperately, âplease?â
âkissing me is not a temporary thing,â you shake your head, ânot anymore. itâs for good. only for good.â
âi want to kiss you for good,â he nods, hands digging into your hips impatiently. youâre close. youâre too far. he can feel you, smell you, hear your unsteady breaths. but itâs not enough. he needs to devour you, taste you on his tongue, and melt you with his touch. âi wonât stop this time,â he promises.Â
âyou better not,â you sniffle, tears blurring your vision. you hated suguru for leaving you. you hated him for coming back to you like this. you never stopped loving him, never will stop loving himâand maybe thatâs what love is. when the darkness is worth trekking through for the afterglow of the light. âif you fucking leave me again, youâre dead to me. i donât care how many times you come back to life. youâre dead to me.â
âokay,â he agrees through a shaky chuckle, âi suppose i deserve that. let me kiss you, yeah?â
âyeah,â you breathe.
he kisses youâyears too late, he kisses you. it feels like youâre teenagers again. it feels different and foreign. you know this feeling like the back of your hand. you donât understand what this sensation is anymore. itâs new. itâs old. itâs perfect. it hurts. suguru is here. he promised not to leaveâyou donât know if you believe him, but youâre going to trust that finally, for once, you are enough.Â
youâre enough to make him happy. to give him a sense of purpose. to keep him swimming when his limbs start to sink.Â
finally, for once, youâre enough.Â
âi love you,â he whispers against your mouth, breathing the words into you like heâs offering you the air from his lungs, âi never stopped. i promise.â
âyou donât deserve to hear it from me,â you murmur back, panting against his lips, ânot yet.â
âfair enough,â he chuckles, âyou sure know how to leave a guy waiting.â
âi learned from the best,â you shoot back.
he grinsâsuguru smiles, heartfelt and real. life is full of misery, itâs painful, and nothing fucking makes sense. everything is cruel. everything dies no matter how carefully you water the roots. thereâs always something, someone, ready to tear it from the earth. but if you keep planting the seeds, suguru will keep watering.Â
maybe something kind can bloom from that, something big enough for him to hide under the shade when the scorching heat of tragedy becomes too much.Â
in this world or in the jujutsu world; in this life or in the next. suguru is yours.
âwhy am i here?â he asks gently, his face digging into your neck. you hold him, cradling the back of his head as you hum.Â
âbecause i need you here. will you stay?â
âyes,â he murmurs, âi think iâll stay.â
hi. i have been working on this since march. its still not how i envisioned it to be originally but that's okay. i had fun writing it and it means a lot to me even tho its kind of. well....cliche LMAO like everything i write. but. i enjoy the cliches okay ?? i do. kxljchskdf hope u guys didn't hate it </3
also the fic banner is âŠ. not the greatest. just ignore it ok
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omg thank you so much!! I love what you added on <3
Diavolo would absolutely love How Itâs Made. Bring him up to the human world one day and put it on the TV and heâs watching that shit for hours. Heâs more immersed in the show than an iPad kid watching Cocomelon. He takes it seriously, insisting that itâs crucial to the exchange program and understanding human world culture better.
However, he watches the show with awe and childlike wonder, fully immersed in the process of how a stapler is made. Diavolo wonât outright admit that he enjoys the show, but will claim that itâs very interesting.
When you both return to the Devildom he instantly hounds Barbatos to figure out a way to get the Science Channel or just the show onto his own TV in the castle.
Barbatos eventually gets the show on his TV, and Diavolo practically vibrates with excitement at the thought of watching the show with you when he has free time. Possibly for a date night if you reciprocate his affections for you.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this little drabble, please feel free to give me any feedback!
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I just wanted to thank you all for liking, commenting, and reblogging my latest post! Never thought that any post of mine, serious or silly, would actually reach people. But yeah, really appreciate everyone <3 :)
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I want to put this whole series in my mouth for safekeeping
consume your unrest (geto x reader x gojo) pt.5
warnings: feeding (the good kind), i totally planned for this chapter to be done so quick, i have 10 other drafts i should be focusing on
Itâs awkward. Suffocatingly awkward.
You shift nervously in your seat, your hands trembling slightly as you held the burger.
You donât think you have the stomach to face them right now. The burger looks⊠Appetizingly gross. Your stomach growls.
Did you eat anything at all till now?
Suguru notices your hesitance as Satoru stops digging into his ice cream midway, still, the spoon that hangs out of his mouth suggests that heâs still appreciating the flavour.
âAre you okay? Did you not want to eat this?âSuguru tilted his head as he watched you, noticing the slight tremor in your fingers as you try hard to avoid his gaze. Heâs worried. Should he order you something else? You hope he doesnât notice the cold sweat.
Think. Think of an excuse. Think of something to lessen the weight of their gaze. You spot a flash of dark green.
âI- I donât like⊠Cucumbers.â
âOh, the pickles?â Suguru smiles, reaching for your food. âIâll eat them for you then.â He gingerly removes the half-wrapped burger from your hands, separating the bun and its components to extract your âhatedâ food.
âMeanwhile, you can share my ice cream!â A spoon is held out in front of you, a generous scoop of frozen, chocolatey vanilla goodness atop.
âSay aaah!â
You relent, remaining quiet but opening your mouth as the spoon gets pushed in.
Itâs good. And it shows on your face as your eyes begin to sparkle, your mouth quirking up slightly at the sweetness.
Satoru has smirk so wide, you want to hide. âWant the rest?â
Itâs too good to say no to. You hesitantly nod.
âHmm, looks like thereâs only a few bites left.â He hums, tilting his head downwards and looking into the sundae cup. âLooks like thereâs no point in giving you the cup.â
Your shoulders visibly droop. âT-then itâs fine.â He always liked sweets better than you, anyway. âY-you can have the rest, Sator-â
âIâll just have to feed you the rest myself!â Another scoop is held out in front of you once again. You want to drool at how appetizing it still looked.
You obey, letting the spoon into your mouth as a dollap of cream accidentally smears the corner of your lip, your tongue peeking out slightly to get at it as Satoru watches you with such a pretty smile on his face.
(Youâre blushing.)
Your burger soon comes into view before you, pickles visibly gone. Suguru is holding it.
You reach out, before it suddenly pulls away from your hand.
â..?â Youâre confused, taken aback. Why wonât he give it to you?
You try again, grabbing for it, only for it to avoid you with lightning quick reflexes, before it hovers before your lips.
Ah. You get it. Suguru wants to feed you too. Your blush grows heavy along with your towering embarrassment.
(Are they making fun of you?)
âOpen up for me, yeah?â Suguruâs voice is heard as you begin to hesitantly part your lips, the burger soon being pressed gently inbetween them for you to bite down on as you spot Satoru giving you a playful wink out of the corner of your eye as he steals Suguruâs barely eaten burger.
They are definitely messing with you again.
You chew on the savory burger, the juice from the meat coupled with the tanginess of the sauce, the meatiness of the cheese, the slight crunch of the lettuce and the fresh taste of the tomatoes⊠It was really good.
(Youâre smiling before you even knew it.)
(Food has never tasted so good. Were you that hungry?)
The duo continue their quiet chatter as Suguru pats your head, handing you the burger as he chides Satoru for stealing his.
âYou literally have 12 other burgers, and you pick mineâŠâ
âHey, a winnerâs a winner!â He takes a comically large bite, stuffing his cheeks. âSore lhosers gwet nhooo shay!â
He swallows as quickly as he chewed. â(name)~, feed me a bite of your yours too~â
Suguru chops Satoruâs incoming head towards you.
âEat your own!â
ââ
The basketball bounces in his hand as he dribbled, Gojo laughing as he steals the ball from Geto with ease.
âToo slow, babe!â His movements are swift, almost teasing as he dunks the ball.
Suguru huffs, his hand running through his wind tussled hair, bun coming undone slightly as he grits his teeth.
âShow-off.â
âAnd thatâs one more point for the great Gojo Satoru!â The white-haired shaman exclaimed, hands on his hips, chest puffed out in victory.
Youâre completely distracted. The way Suguru had pulled his sleeves up over his arms had you nearly drooling.
You always liked the way Suguruâs arms looked. They were big, comfy-looking and you definitely wouldnât mind them squeezing you in a tight hug.
Too distracted to even notice that the winner was waving his hand in front of you, the loser chuckling as he crosses his arms, enthused by the way you were shamelessly staring.
âYou should go easy on him, SatoruâŠâ Was your automatic reply, your words drawling themselves out as you continued to stare.
Gojo pouted, seating himself next to you, knee to knee, shoulder to shoulder as he pressed his sweaty head against your shoulder, grabbing your wrist, unscrewing the cap of the bottle and downing the cold water you held in your hand, with you technically feeding him as he drank.
You let him.
âI won, you know?â
You hum, still distracted.
âI deserve a reward, right?â
You hum again, unknowingly agreeing.
Satoru places his chin on your shoulder, arms wrapping around your waist as he hugs you from the side. Suguru sits down beside you as you immediately hand him a the other cold bottle you were holding.
âSay, (name).â Satoru begins as Suguru wipes his sweat with a handkerchief. âWhat kind of guys are you into?â
You suddenly come back to your senses.
Notes:
You have grown accustomed to sweets since Satoru had always (force) fed you his treats. Whether you like or had a distaste for them initially, you have grown to like them due to Gojo.
Satoru loves eating Suguruâs food. This was how Suguru had trained him to eat more vegetables willingly.
âIt just tastes better cause itâs yours!â
Suguru has noticed your obsession with his arms. Heâs really proud of it. He tells Satoru about it whilst his boyfriend flexes and compares with him, pouting.
âWe have the same workout routine! Why does she like yours more?!â
âIâm just better.â
Ieiri had actually gone back to the dorms after her little smoke break. Texting you something about you, âNeeding some alone time with them.â
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Diavolo would absolutely love How Itâs Made. Bring him up to the human world one day and put it on the TV and heâs watching that shit for hours. Heâs more immersed in the show than an iPad kid watching Cocomelon. He takes it seriously, insisting that itâs crucial to the exchange program and understanding human world culture better.
However, he watches the show with awe and childlike wonder, fully immersed in the process of how a stapler is made. Diavolo wonât outright admit that he enjoys the show, but will claim that itâs very interesting.
When you both return to the Devildom he instantly hounds Barbatos to figure out a way to get the Science Channel or just the show onto his own TV in the castle.
Barbatos eventually gets the show on his TV, and Diavolo practically vibrates with excitement at the thought of watching the show with you when he has free time. Possibly for a date night if you reciprocate his affections for you.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this little drabble, please feel free to give me any feedback!
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Lucifer : Why is MC sitting on your shoulders?
Diavolo : They like to feel tall!
MC : *happy sheep noises*
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Diavolo would absolutely love How Itâs Made. Bring him up to the human world one day and put it on the TV and heâs watching that shit for hours. Heâs more immersed in the show than an iPad kid watching Cocomelon. He takes it seriously, insisting that itâs crucial to the exchange program and understanding human world culture better.
However, he watches the show with awe and childlike wonder, fully immersed in the process of how a stapler is made. Diavolo wonât outright admit that he enjoys the show, but will claim that itâs very interesting.
When you both return to the Devildom he instantly hounds Barbatos to figure out a way to get the Science Channel or just the show onto his own TV in the castle.
Barbatos eventually gets the show on his TV, and Diavolo practically vibrates with excitement at the thought of watching the show with you when he has free time. Possibly for a date night if you reciprocate his affections for you.
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this little drabble, please feel free to give me any feedback!
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If kiyoomi sakusa were to have a dog it would be a poodle, a standard poodle to be exact. The lack of regular dog hair shed, their temperaments and personalities, THEIR SHARED NEED FOR EXERCISE!! Poodles are the perfect dog for him and I will die on this hill.
(if someone already headcanoned this please let me know, ty!)
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Obey Me Toilet Thoughts With defacatestenderly (how ironic)
Ok I need to know how religion works in the Obey Me universe, because obviously it takes place in a timeline where angels and demons are real. Like biblically real (kinda). In the human world, do the other abrahamic religions still exist? Are they still practiced? Do non-abrahamic religions still exist and are they practiced? Does Christianity reign supreme because of the Devildom and Celestial Realm having been revealed to the human world? Does everyone on Earth even KNOW about the exchange program and the existence of the other realms? If the exchange program was the only confirmation of the abrahamic religions, did it send the world into a frenzy and cause a religious revolution of some sort? Do the people know that Santa is actually real and how would they react if they knew?
From my light research, it seems that the story in Obey Me follows Christianity. Although fallen angels do exist in Judaism, the books from which the fallen angels stories come from are not considered canonical by most Jews. I do not know of how everything ties together in the context of Islam, as I only researched itâs ties in Judaism because of all abrahamic religions, Judaism came first.
Even though the religious reality of the Obey Me universe is from the Bible, there are differences in Obey Me that donât match up. It is a wide belief that Lucifer is Satan, and vice versa. Which makes sense when we find out that Satan was born FROM Lucifer himself. However, the brothers embodying the seven deadly sins is a medieval classification, as the definitions and names of the Archdemons have changed greatly over time. Also, Satan is canon in Judaism. He is known as an adversary of humans but still, a servant of God. Satan is more of a job description than a singular being but both are mentioned in the Torah. Satan was also an angel in the Bible. This means that Satan spent eons being an angel, unlike in the Obey Me story where he doesnât have many memories as an angel, and he didnât spend much time in the Celestial Realm before falling. There are also many holes in Luciferâs story in relation to the Bible as well. However, if I were to write about every difference in the Torah, Bible, and Obey Me in regards to angels and demons I would never stop writing. So you readers are gonna have to be left with this not-so-in-depth elaboration of my thoughts and research despite what I actually know.
It seems to me that Obey Me is not biblically accurate in terms of religious context in the game. But hey, itâs an otome game. All of this thinking and research on the toilet has made me come to these realizations. What time period are we even in in the Obey Me universe? From my menial knowledge of the time approximation of when the angels fell, we are a couple thousand years in the future from our year of 2023. Which brings me to this question, Does religion even exist in the Obey Me universe, or is there no religion because the existence of the other realms and beings among them are real and part of basic reality, like rain and clouds are part of the rain cycle? There are so many more questions I have regarding the complexity of the reality of the Obey Me universe, but thatâs only in the religious context! I havenât even gone into the role of magic and powers and how that plays in everything. For example, Barbatosâs time powers. But I have talked enough. I hope this rant made sense and that this invokes a nice conversation in the Obey Me fandom, because I havenât seen a conversation like this being sparked before. I gotta get going though, my legs are falling asleep.
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