The U.S. is the Florida of the world

I may not be larger than life but my nose sure is

I been feeling kinda depressed but I don’t wanna die my hair (which I’ve seen other poeple do) cause I like it and it makes me happy sometimes, so I need to find a substitute. Should I stick and poke myself a tattoo is that the answer cause it kinda feels like the answer

My parents: fuck you my child is completely fine

Me: *acting out stabbing myself so I can find out which is most attractive*

I find myself falling in love with every one around me and slowly, more importantly myself. but untill I’m completely in love with myself I find myself instead falling in love with snapshot s of people, photos or voices or harmonies. I add part of them to me as to make myself easier to love.

Whenever I see the abbreviations “wlw”, “mlm”, “nblw” etc.

My brain always without fail goes “wuluwuh” “muhlummm” and “nubuluhwuh” in a deep voice like that of a man on his death bed

My psychologist parent: Fuck you my chip is completely fine

Me: balling while writing down everything wrong with our relationship and how I (a fifteen year old) am going to fix it, followed by all the reasons I disagree with her unofficial diagnosis’ of me and my sister.

Also I know it’s because she cares, but she says it affects her, no it doesn’t. So you can’t talk about this one small part of me, boohoo.

My sister just is constantly telling me to come out to my dad (I already told him i just forgot to tell her) and it made me like crazy anxious. Like I get that it’s great to live as your authentic self or whatever but if I’m not ready I’m not ready. And I’m already thinking about it whenever me and my dad are having a serious conversation, I don’t need you making it worse, this isn’t a “rip the bandaid off” situation.

My sister just is constantly telling me to come out to my dad (I already told him i just forgot to tell her) and it made me like crazy anxious. Like I get that it’s great to live as your authentic self or whatever but if I’m not ready I’m not ready. And I’m already thinking about it whenever me and my dad are having a serious conversation, I don’t need you making it worse, this isn’t a “rip the bandaid off” situation.

I find myself seeing words where they aren’t, like my brain mushes together other words to make new ones and then I re-read it when I realise it doesn’t make sense and I feel instantly disappointed, both in reality and myself.

Hahahahahahah

Just remembered that in year seven I thought being a boy would be easier because girls are “easier to like”, I was right but they are not easier to talk to.

Kinda wanna commit crime so that the police are too busy dealing with me to racially profile.

Is it a bad thing to cry when thinking about coming out, does that mean I’m not ready or it’s too late already. Or does it mean that I’m like hecka internally homophobic, I mean I already knew that but if any older queers have got answers for me please let me know!

I GOT A GIRLFRIEND YALL!! I don’t know what I did to deserve her, but whatevs.

I just remembered that I made a pact with one of my friends from year six that when we were 35 if we hadn’t found husbands we would marry each other and get a whole bunch of cats. I think I originally said 30 but she said 40 to give us more time to find them, and I was kinda offended.

Anyway I love that I keep remembering this stuff because when I first came out, I thought that I was probably wrong and I would “change me mind” because I didn’t have many queer experiences when I was little but I just didn’t see them as queer then.

Chloe if your still down in twenty years so am I.

Me, who has an assessment due in an hour that I barely have time to finish : 

“OMG I should put my hands in a cardboard box and learn how to touch-type.”

Do you ever listen to crimson and clover, but the clea cover, and have the sudden urge to confess that you want to run away and become pirates together with to the girl that’s not your girl