bookfreek1964 - Tumblr blog

bookfreek1964 · 1 year

Text

The Mercenary's Love

Chapter 4

We have reached our new home in Montana after settling things with the South Korean government. Namjoon was helping me unpack our belongings when I felt the rush of liquid between my legs. Startled, I look up at Namjoon and see him turn pale.

“We need to call Hobi,” I manage to say calmly as I feel the first twinge of labor pains in my lower back.

He grabs his phone off of the table with shaky hands and hits Hobi’s phone number on speed dial.

“It’s time, Hobi,” Namjoon says in a shaky voice.

Namjoon listens quietly to the instructions Hobi gives him and says, “Okay, we’ll meet you at the hospital.”

Hobi enters the birthing room, smiles his toothy smile and asks how far the contrtactions are spaced apart. Namjoon has timed them since my water had broken and we were up to 10 minutes apart. He gently places a hand on my swollen belly to feel the contractions. Hobi puts on a pair of latex gloves deciding he needs to see if I am dilating and how much. He asks me to put my feet into the stirrups on the bed and to spread my knees wide.

“Tell me when your contraction have stopped. This is going to be uncomfortable but I will be as quick as I can,” he says. He pulls the light down to where it would shine on my nether regions, and then has Jin squirt some lube on his fingers.

“Ready?” he asks.

“Okay,” I squeak.

Gently, Hobi inserts two long thin finger inside of of me. It’s uncomfortable but I do my best not to react as he probes my cervix.

“Ah, you are dilated up to 5 centimeters. It will be a while yet, I recommend that you rest while you can; the hard work is coming.”

A couple of hours later the pain is intense and I just want to push. Hobi gives me an epidural to help with the pain. After that things become a little hazy for awhile, alternating between breathing and pushing. Until a newborn baby is laid on my chest. I start crying when I hear the wails of our baby.

“You have a baby boy!” Hobi tells you and Namjoon. Jungkook takes picture after picture. We made the decision to have Jungkook film our baby’s birth not knowing at the time that this will be important down the road.

Jin puts a warm towel on the baby and starts to wipe the birthing fluid off the baby as the baby wails out his displeasure. Namjoon is overcome with emotion as he gently strokes my sweat matted hair.

I sleep for several hours after the birth. Hobi gently shakes me awake, “You have a very hungry baby boy that wants to nurse.”

I rub my eyes to get the sleep out of them. I look over at Namjoon, sitting bare chested holding our diaper clad little boy against his naked chest, sharing some father and son bonding time. He has his glasses on and a book in the hand that isn’t keeping the baby snug against his chest. He’s barefoot with his long jean clad legs stretched out on the recliner he’s sitting in. I am overwhelmed with a deep love for both father and son. Our little bundle of of joy is snuffling and rooting around wanting to be fed and sharing his displeasure because we aren’t moving fast enough to suit him.

Between Hobi, Jin and I, we get the baby to latch onto my breast so he can feed. After, he’s fed for a bit, we switch to the other breast and he feeds and he goes to sleep. I put him up against my shoulder and rub and pat his back until he burps. Jin takes the baby and gently lays him in the hospital bassinette for a nap.

Hobi asks how I’m feeling and does a quick exam and expresses concern as the bleeding isn’t slowing down as it should. I have to admit to Hobi that I don’t feel good. I feel dizzy, nauseous and I’m cramping hard. Hobi notes how pale I’ve become and my lips are bluish in color. He hollers at Jin to get a heart monitor and a crash cart in case it’s needed.

“What’s wrong Hobi?” Namjoon asks.

I moan and I can feel a gush of warm wetness between my legs as a particulary hard cramp hits me. Blood starts to drip on the floor and Hobi pushes Namjoon to the door and tells him he has to leave.

“No, I want to stay! Princess?”

“Go now, if you want me to save her, you got to leave, I don’t have time to argue with you!”

Hobi issues instructions to the staff as Namjoon walks to the waiting room and drops heavily into a chair with a feeling of dread.

Thirty minutes later, Hobi slowly walks into the waiting room, his lips trembling. He doesn’t have to say anything – Namjoon knows she’s gone and the bottom drops out of his world.

#bts namjoon #bts fanfic #bts wip fest #bts imagines #bts wips

2 notes · View notes

bookfreek1964 · 1 year

Text

The Mercenary’s Love

Chapter 3

Little did you or Namjoon know that Dr. Hobi would be telling you in a month that you are going to have a baby. You've been on the pill for so long that it isn't adequate birth control anymore. That tender bout of lovemaking after your kidnapping resulted in you conceiving Namjoon's baby.

You had been feeling like crap for a couple of weeks now. Constantly nauseated, or maybe you should say when you smell cooking food of any kind, it sends you running to the bathroom to heave your guts out in the toilet. Namjoon is worried because you are always tired and can't keep anything down; this is not like you. Your breasts are tender, you haven’t had your period, and you are super emotional, but you had thought that perhaps the stress of your kidnapping and subsequent beating from Sergei and his goon squad had been the cause. You stare at Hobi, shocked beyond words. You take your birth control faithfully every day, and now this. What are you going to tell Namjoon? How is he going to take this news? Will he feel that his own fucked up childhood might make him a bad father? You don't know what to feel. Hobi is concerned about your silence and that you aren't particularly joyful about this. Tears fill your eyes.

"What's wrong, Angel?"

"W-w-what am I going to tell Joonie?" you whisper.

"Tell him the truth," Hobi says in a puzzled voice.

"But, what if…." You start to say.

"Don't think that way," he interrupts, knowing where your thoughts were going. "Namjoon will be thrilled," Hobi says.

"I don't know about that," you answer, tears running down your pale cheeks. You feel distinctly queasy and hope you don't throw up again.

Hobi walks over to his desk, picks up the phone, and dials Namjoon's number. When Namjoon answers, Hobi asks him to please come to the clinic immediately.

"Don't freak out, Namjoon; it’s nothing serious. I'll explain when you get here," Hobi says patiently. He walks back, sits on the chair next to you, and takes your hand in his.

"There's nothing to worry about, Angel," Hobi says gently, patting your hand, "I've known Namjoon since we were kids; he'll be happy – you'll see."

You sob quietly, and Namjoon flies through the door like the hell hounds are after him. He sees how upset you are, crouches in front of you, pulls you into his arms, and holds you tight, afraid that it might be something bad.

"What's wrong, Princess," he asks worriedly. "Damn it, Hobi, what did you tell her to get her so upset?"

"Nothing, other than in about eight months, you are going to be a proud papa," Hobi says, enjoying this immensely, giving it a minute to sink in.

"Wait, What!?"

You hiccup, sniff a little, and tell Namjoon quietly, "I'm pregnant, Namjoon."

Namjoon looks totally stunned. "A baby?"

"Yes," Hobi snickers; he is beyond delighted at Namjoon's impending fatherhood.

"When, how?" Namjoon asks.

"I shouldn't have to tell you how a baby is made," Hobi jokes, and then all joking aside, he explains that your birth control pills are no longer adequate, and because of this you have conceived a child. He also tells Namjoon that you are worried he will be upset and angry about it.

Namjoon tips your chin up and looks into your tear-drenched gray eyes, "No, Princess, I'm not upset about this, surprised maybe, but not upset," he assures you with a gentle kiss.

"Are you sure, Joonie?" you ask softly, touching his cheek, "I thought maybe you wouldn't want a baby."

"Why would you think that, Princess?"

"I thought that after what you went through with your father, that would be the last thing you want."

Hobi has discreetly slipped out of the examination room to give you the privacy to talk about this.

"No, Princess, if anything, I learned from my father how NOT to raise a child."

Namjoon's Dad, Mr. Kim, was a complete douchebag with a drinking and drug problem. Whenever he is out of money, instead of getting a job and going to work every day, he would simply pimp out Namjoon's Mom, Mrs. Kim, to get money. When Mrs. Kim balks at it, Mr. Kim isn't above threatening bodily harm to Namjoon to force her compliance. Mrs. Kim did try to escape several times, but Mr. Kim found her hiding place every time. He makes Mrs. Kim watch as he beats Namjoon, and then it’s her turn. However, when Namjoon became old enough, he starts to fight back to protect his Mom, sadly it leads to many beatings. Mrs. Kim's heart breaks a little more each time she is forced to watch him beat Namjoon.

Unfortunately, by this time, Mrs. Kim is sick from syphilis contracted from one of the creeps Mr. Kim pimps out her to. Mr. Kim doesn’t allow her to get any medical treatment. So, Mr. Kim begins to mutter ominously about her uselessness as a whore. he cruelly hints about maybe pimping out Namjoon to men who like sex with little boys. Mrs. Kim knows the time has come to get Namjoon out no matter what. Instinctively, Mrs. Kim knows she is dying and has absolutely nothing to lose. So, the next time he beats Namjoon into unconsciousness – enough is enough, Mrs. Kim plots Namjoon's escape.

First, she plies Mr. Kim with rotgut booze and drugs until he passes out. Then knowing Mr. Kim will be out for a while, Mrs. Kim tookraids Mr. Kim's stash box and calls Hobi, Namjoon's best friend, and his parents and beg them to come and get Namjoon and get him out. She gives Hobi's parents all the money from the stash box and tearfully asks them to take care of Namjoon for her. They beg her to come too, but Mrs. Kim says no. As long as she stays, he won’t come after Namjoon. After Mrs. Kim and Hobi get Namjoon out, she goes back in and deliberately sets the house on fire, killing both of them and leaving Namjoon safe but an orphan. Hobi's parents raise Namjoon and Hobi together.

Consequently, Namjoon has PTSD from all of the cruelty Mr. Kim inflicted on him, and on bad days he can hear his father's cruel criticism and cutting remarks in his mind, followed by the sound of his belt whistling through the air before it hits his back. But when he met you, you neutralize his dark side to some extent, and he began going to therapy and practicing meditation. As a result, Namjoon is a happier and less anxious person with you.

Namjoon picks you up in his arms, sits down on one of the chairs in Hobi's exam room, and sets you on his lap.

"Princess," he begins uncertainly, not knowing how you will react, "I've been thinking about this for a while now," It's now or never, Namjoon thinks to himself. He swallows hard, takes a deep breath and tells you, "I love you, Princess, more than you will ever know. Please be my wife?"

Touched deeply by this, you say, "Joonie, we don't have to do that. I'm fine with how things are; just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean we have to change things."

"I want you to be mine forever, Princess, and I would give you my name, and I want our child to have my name. Don't you know how much I love you, want and need you?" he questions.

Stunned and touched, you look deep into his eyes and see that he means this. He's not joking – he's dead serious, but Namjoon always has been serious about things – he wasn't a prankster like Dr. Hobi.

"I am yours – always," you tell him lovingly.

After some thought, you capitulate, "Joonie, I love you very much, and yes, I will marry you. I don't want a big wedding, though. Just us, the crew and our parents is fine with me."

He smiles at you like sunshine after a cloudy day and pulls you in for a passionate kiss.

"Something else I've been thinking about," he says after a moment, "I think it's time for us to get out of the mercenary business too."

"How?" you ask, not displeased with this idea. You always worry about Namjoon and the crew when they are gone on a job. Sometimes they're gone for long periods, and because of the secrecy, you don't always hear from him, which makes you uneasy.

"I think we will have to fake our deaths and disappear. I haven't broached the subject with the rest of the crew yet to see how they feel about it, but I think we should have a group dinner soon and discuss our options."

You agree with his assessment.

Days later, you are standing in front of the Justice of the Peace to say your wedding vows to Namjoon. He is handsome as always, dressed in a charcoal pinstripe suit with a red rose corsage pinned to the lapel, eschewing the traditional blue hanbok. Holding your hands firmly, he recites his vows, looking deep into your eyes, "I believe in you, the person you will grow to be, and the couple we will be together. I take you as my wife with my whole heart, acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths as you do mine. I promise to be faithful and supportive and to always make our family's love and happiness my priority. I will be yours in plenty and in want, sickness, health, failure, and triumph. I will dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. You are my wife—my love and my life, today and always." (https://www.weddingforward.com/examples-of-wedding-vows/)

His evident love for you and what he wrote for his vows make you extremely emotional. Finally, you repeat your vows to him, looking deep into his eyes, and he slips a wedding band on your finger. He cups your cheek and kisses you passionately when the Justice of the Peace declares you husband and wife, and he can kiss his bride.

It is a small intimate gathering of Namjoon's crew and a couple of your closest friends. Your parents are out of the country, so you Zoom with them so they can at least watch you take your vows with Namjoon. You and Namjoon have already told them they are going to be grandparents in about eight months. They are super excited at the news, although your Mom cries tears of joy. Namjoon’s adopted parents are excited that at long last he is getting married and having a child. However, much to Hobi’s chagrin, his Mom starts to drop heavy hints that Hobi needs to looking for a suitable bride.

0 notes

bookfreek1964 · 1 year

Text

The Mercenary’s Love

Chapter 2

Hobi has me in his medical lair at the compound to perform x-rays on my shoulder and ribs. First, because I’m a little dehydrated, Hobi has me on a saline IV drip. While Namjoon paces in the hallway listening to updates from Min Yoongi. My ribs are badly bruised and hurt like hell, but no signs of any cracks or breaks, just contusions. Then he checks my shoulder to ensure no muscle or tendon damage.

"Your shoulder is swollen and bruised right now, but it looks like there is no severe damage," Hobi tells me after removing the IV. "You're going to hurt a little while, though. I can give you something to help with the pain." Then Hobi asks how I’m feeling mentally and whether I feel the need to talk to someone about this.

I shake my head in the negative. I don't want anything that's going to put me out, and I tell Hobi that. Then, I thank Hobi and say to him that I will consider his offer of a therapist to deal with the trauma. Then, finally, he brings Namjoon back into the exam room, gives him explicit instructions for my care, and then phones in order of some ramen, vegetables, and hot tea for my dinner from the compound kitchen.

Hobi announces, "I will be up to your apartment in about an hour to retape Angel's ribs and shoulder. First, I suggest letting Angel take a warm bath with some Epsom Salts." Next, Hobi gives Namjoon a pill to give me right after eating to help with the swelling and inflammation. Namjoon nods and puts the pill bottle in his duster pocket. Hobi doesn't say that it will make you extremely drowsy, which he knows you don't want because you know Namjoon will need you to help quell his dark side. Instead, Hobi is trying to impress upon you that you must take care of yourself too.

Namjoon carries me in his arms upstairs to the apartment I share with him as I snuggle into his chest, my arm around his neck, tired and sore but happy to be back with Namjoon. Inside our apartment, he holds me tight against his body for a long moment and kisses me as if he is afraid I might vanish again if he lets me go before setting me down on a chair. He divests himself of his black leather duster, sunglasses, and weapons. Then, he walks into the bathroom to run me a warm bath with some Epsom salts and a little lavender oil to help me relax.

In a detached manner, he watches his hands shake as he pours in the Epsom Salts and swallows hard to keep from giving in to an anxiety attack he doesn't need right now. You need him, and he needs to focus on you. You and your well-being are all that matters to him right now.

He takes several deep breaths like his therapist told him to do to quell his rising panic before returning to the bedroom to help you undress, scowling at the livid bruises that decorate your body. You notice that his hands are shaking, but before you can say anything, he scoops you up against his chest, carries you into the bathroom, and assists you into the deep clawfoot tub. You hiss a little as the hot water comes into contact with your bruised aching body. Then, slowly, you relax into the steamy water with a deep sigh until you see Namjoon strip off his tight black t-shirt and throw it in the laundry basket.

I might be a little worse for wear, but I can't help but let my eyes feast on my man's muscular shoulders and scarred back down to his camo pants slung low on his hips. I like how those camo pants cling to his tight ass and muscular thighs. I meet his eyes in the mirror, and he smirks a little, knowing I’m staring at his ass, but I also see the hunger in his eyes before he looks away. I huff out a breath and think damn! I wish I didn't feel so lousy because his heated look turns me on and I want him. I offer to share the tub with him, but regretfully he says not now because he knows if he did, one thing would lead to another, and that's not the purpose. His expression sobers a bit as he remembers Hobi suggesting we abstain from sex until my body heals a little. Hobi knows perfectly well that when Namjoon is stressed out, he typically seeks solace in my arms, and I center him.

Namjoon sighs deeply and pulls the bench from your vanity up to the back of the tub so he can wash your hair, and you mewl because it feels so good to have his long fingers massaging your scalp. Then, you lay in the cooling water, relaxed as Namjoon patiently combs the tangles from your freshly shampooed hair and braids it.

"Joonie?" I say hesitantly, knowing this is going to be a difficult discussion.

"Hhmm."

Softly I ask, "Are you okay? It's alright to not be okay after something like this."

He stops braiding for a minute. Then, he finally says in a low emotional voice, "I thought I lost you and wondered how I ever could go on without you."

Tears fill my eyes, and I whisper, "I wondered if I would make it out alive and be with you again." My tears drip slowly into the bathwater, and I do my best not to go into a full-scale crying jag, but it’s hard.

Namjoon runs his knuckles across your cheek and whispers, "Don't cry, Princess; I got you back, and we're together, and that's all that matters right now."

Namjoon finishes braiding my hair. Then, seeing how exhausted and emotional I am, Namjoon bends down and scoops me out of the water, holding my wet, slippery, naked body against him as he grabs a warm bath sheet and wraps me in it. I am so exhausted I can barely move, so I cling to him.

As he carries you out of the bathroom, he finds Hobi waiting for you with a tray of food from the compound kitchen and first aid supplies to tape you back up again. Finally, Namjoon carries you into the bedroom and hurriedly dries you off, so you can dress in something loose so Hobi can tape you up again. He kisses you tenderly, then brings you back to the living room, where Hobi is calmly waiting.

Hobi cajoles me into eating a little ramen and drinking some hot tea even though I don't feel like it and just want to curl up in Namjoon's arms and shut out the rest of the world. All I really want is for Hobi to go away. Then, he reminds Namjoon about the pill. Namjoon fishes the bottle out of his duster pocket and gives me the tablet and a small tumbler of water to wash it down. Hobi gives me a few minutes for the medication to work, retapes my ribs, immobilizes my shoulder with yards of elastic bandages, and hands me an ice pack for the swelling. Finally, I start feeling drowsy, realizing Hobi pulled a fast one, giving me something that is making me drowsy.

"Hobi, you sorry, son of a bitch," I slur in irritation, "I told you I didn't want anything that was going to put me to sleep!"

Namjoon looks questioningly at Hobi. Finally, Hobi, with a sly shrug, admits to Namjoon, "She's hurting but won't take anything for pain because she's worried about you, Namjoon, so I gave her something to help her relax." Hobi says quietly, "She must take care of herself, too, for your sake."

"She's gonna kick your ass tomorrow for this Hobi," Namjoon says softly.

"I know she will," Hobi replies glumly, knowing you will indeed kick his ass.

Hobi tilts his head, looking at Namjoon speculatively, and enquires, "Will you be alright for tonight because you don't look okay? I can give you something to help you sleep." Hobi is reading the signs of an impending anxiety attack written on Namjoon's face.

"I will be okay," Namjoon lies, and Hobi shakes his head because he knows Namjoon is lying, but all he can do is be close by just in case and drop a quick text to Namjoon's therapist.

"I'll sleep on your sofa tonight, so I can be here if you need something. Don't worry, Angel will be fine, Namjoon; just give her some time to heal, physically and mentally. Now, both of you go to bed, doctor's orders."

Namjoon turns down the bed and fusses with the pillows, arranging them to his liking before he carries you in and tucks you gently into bed. He shucks his clothes, and naked, he crawls into bed with you. He cradles you tenderly in his arms and protectively curls his body around yours as he murmurs quietly, "I love you, Princess." You're fast asleep, so you don't hear the words you have longed to hear. Finally, he closes his eyes, hoping he can sleep tonight with no nightmares.

I’m floating in the blackness and hear the sound of broken sobbing. Then I hear a man, in a little boy's voice, crying," No! No! Please don't hurt me!" Something about that voice makes me stop and listen a little closer. It sounds so familiar. Then I realize it's Namjoon's voice. He needs me; I must wake up, so I fight my way out of the blackness that doesn’t want to let me go. Until I can open my eyes and look around. Beside me, Namjoon is curled up in a tight little ball with his knees to his chest and arms covering his head, shaking and sobbing piteously, reliving one of the beatings administered by his cruel father. It breaks my heart every time this happens. I can't sit up easily with my left arm taped to my chest, so cursing, I roll over so I can cautiously touch Namjoon. Then, I croon to him quietly, as I always do when this happens, letting my voice guide him out of this nightmare into safer dreams while softly stroking his back. After a bit, Namjoon's body relaxes, and I press my body against him; and I drift off to sleep again.

You're sleeping just fine until you feel something tickling your cheek. Namjoon has his face buried in your neck, his breath warm, and his teeth lightly scrape against your skin, nuzzling and giving you open-mouth kisses up the side of your neck along with a few love bites. You hum and stretch your body sinuously as you wake up and grimace a little at how sore you are. Next thing you know, with a low growl, Namjoon has rolled your body beneath his, and he gently cradles you against him. You stare intensely into each other's eyes for a long moment; Namjoon's brown dragon eyes are dark with hunger and desire. "I want you," he whispers and your heart starts beating faster in anticipation.

You feel his hard throbbing length against your thigh, and you forget about your body's soreness because you want this and need this. You curl your good arm around his neck and pull him down until his lips meet yours in a soul-stirring kiss. His tongue runs across your bottom lip seeking entrance into your mouth, and you wince a little because of the split in your lip. But you let him in, and your tongues slide and twist together. His hand runs down your body and slips underneath the t-shirt you are wearing to caress your skin. With your left arm taped to your body, he only has access to one of your breasts, so he cups it in his hand while his thumb flicks your hard nipple.

"Joonie," you moan against his mouth as your body arcs up.

"What do you want, Princess?"

"You," you breathe.

Namjoon rolls to the side gently parts your thighs, settles between them, props himself up on one arm, and uses the other to caress your body. You can feel how hard Namjoon is as he rolls his hips and he grinds against you, creating friction against your clit. You harshly suck in your breath as you feel the desire pooling in your belly. Your hand slides slowly down his muscular body, and you take him in your hand and caress his long length. Namjoon closes his eyes and hisses in pleasure at your touch, and you want him in you right this minute. You struggle to get your underwear off, but it's hard to do one-handed, so you beg him to help you. Once all the barriers have been removed and you are skin on skin, he slips between your spread thighs again and positions himself so he can slowly slide right into your wet heat. Slowly he pushes into you until he bottoms out; you sigh and wrap your legs around him, loving how he fills you up. Usually, your lovemaking is intense and hot, but not this time. He moves on you slowly and tenderly, taking his time, his touch soft, gentle, and intimate. He is watching every expression flit across your face. Finally, your eyes start to slide closed, and he says, "No, I want to see you when you cum."

You comply. As Namjoon slides in and out slowly, you rock your hips to match the dreamy pace he's setting, letting out intermittent soft moans when he hits that particular spot. He's never been like this, and it's messing with your head a little bit because you don't know what he is thinking or feeling.

Your kidnapping scared Namjoon more than he's letting on, and it changed something in him – something he's been thinking about a lot lately. He's thinking about taking your relationship to the next level. He knows you love him deeply and feels the same, but his anxiety makes him unsure how to ask you to be his wife.

You can see the sweat beading his face, and his breathing turns ragged as he maintains this slow sensual pace. You're having difficulty catching your breath and can feel the orgasm building as your breath hitches, and you watch his face closely. Your fingers run through his thick steel gray hair, and you tug on it a bit.

"More," you whisper breathlessly.

Namjoon picks up the pace and dips down again to kiss you hard. Then he kisses your jaw and down to your neck as he marks you with a hickey. He kisses and licks his way down to your breast, swirling his tongue around your erect nipple, and your back arches from the pleasure.

"Oh….. God…. Namjoon," you murmur, and he knows you are close to the edge.

"Cum for me, Princess," he whispers seductively and sucks your nipple in, and rolls it between his teeth. It's too much; it sends you right over the edge, and your body stiffens as you cry out your pleasure. You feel like you shatter into a million tiny pieces, and your body shakes and quivers with the force of your orgasm. All the while, he's holding you and maintaining that slow erotic pace until you come down again.

"You look so good like this, Princess," he whispers softly. Then, he pulls out of you, slides down your body, between your thighs, and begins to lap up your juices, letting his tongue flick your clit every now and then as your body writhes against the relentless onslaught of his tongue, sending you back up the mountain again.

"You taste so sweet, Princess," he groans, slides back up your body, and slips inside you again because he is getting close. You clench your muscles around him and he moans. He kisses you passionately, and you can taste yourself on his lips. Then, Namjoon changes his pace and pistons in and out of you until he ruthlessly sends you over the edge again; you cry out his name as his hips stutter; he groans, his body quivering and fills you with his creamy tribute. Finally, limbs entwined, you both are sated and secure in each other's arms, ready to go back to sleep.

Is your mind playing tricks, or did you just hear Namjoon whisper softly, "I love you, Princess?" Namjoon's never articulated this before, and it takes you by surprise, even though you know deep down inside that he loves you – Namjoon shows you how much every day by the things he does for you and the way he constantly touches you – whether it's Namjoon's hand at the small of your back guiding you through a crowd or the way he holds your hand when you go for long walks. The way Namjoon curls his arm around your waist and pulls you against his body so he can kiss you, or the way Namjoon enfolds you in his arms at night. You feel his love for you, but this is the first time he's verbally told you. Your heart swells up with love for him. "I love you too, Namjoon," you whisper quietly and kiss him before falling asleep wrapped in his arms.

#bts wip fest #kim namjoon #bts fanfic

1 note · View note

bookfreek1964 · 1 year

Text

The Mercenary’s Love

Chapter 1

This day started out like any other, but quickly went downhill. Namjoon, the former leader of the BTS K-Pop group, now leader of the BTS Mercenaries, who is the love of my life called me this morning to let me know Dorian, the kitchen manager at our compound, is going into to town to get some things for the compound kitchen could I go with him? He can’t get away because they are in the middle of drills. I told him that I could do that. Joon told me to make sure I took my tracker with me in case of trouble he can find me. Little did I know that would be put to the test.

Dorian and I complete our shopping expedition and return to the suburban. A crappy-looking white van is parked next to the suburban. For some reason, this gives me a sense of unease. It is usually my habit to park on the outer fringes of a parking lot away from other vehicles, giving me a clear view in case of predators. Dorian gave me a questioning look as I stopped walking. I nod at the van parked next to the suburban. He gazes at it for a long moment. Neither of us can see anyone in it, so we cautiously approach the suburban. I slip around to the driver's side and unlock it. Dorian begins to load the groceries into the back of the suburban, but before I can help him, someone grabs me from behind. I watch in horror as another man hits Dorian on the head with the butt of his pistol, and Dorian sinks to the ground unconscious. I try to lunge away from the man behind me and get maybe one or two steps away from him until he brutally yanks my left arm hard enough to dislocate it. As I groan in pain, he slaps a white cloth over my nose and mouth. The cloth is saturated with Chloroform and it puts me out. The last thing I remember is being tossed unceremoniously into the white van. My final lucid thought is that Namjoon is going to freak out.

My captor, the Boss, Sergei Ivanovich, introduces himself mockingly in a thick Russian accent as he roughly yanks my head back with his fingers in my tangled hair so he can inspect his goon's handiwork. His eyes wander from my swollen, black eye and bruised face to my split and puffy lip. Finally, Sergei's eyes widen in recognition as my identity dawns on him. I smirk at him even though it hurts my split lip and say just as mockingly with false bravado, "That's right, I'm Namjoon's bitch. You, asshole, are a dead man because Namjoon will find me."

Sergei pales and curses viciously because he knows Namjoon by reputation and that I speak the truth. Sergei draws back his arm and slaps me hard across the face, rattling my teeth and rocking my head to the side, causing my ears to ring. I gasp at the pain and think Namjoon will find me, and this motherfucker will pay.

Sergei then wheels around and stalks across the room to where Dimitri and Ivan, his loyal goons, are loitering, bellowing at them, "You fucking idiots! You took the wrong woman; that is not Senator MacAnally's wife! This is Kim Namjoon's woman. Do you realize what you have done?"

Ivan and Dimitri look at each other and shrug, "No, "they both say in unison.

"But she looks like the picture we were given," Ivan whines.

"Your carelessness will bring down the wrath of BTS Mercenaries on us! We didn't need this shit, you fucking morons! We're supposed to be keeping our presence here lowkey!"

They both stare sullenly at Sergei as he paces back and forth, cursing vehemently in Russian while trying to figure out a way to fix this.

“Gag the bitch,” Sergei snarls at Ivan, the tall skinny goon.

"Aw, Namjoon ain't so scary," the short fat one, Dimitri, scoffs.

As if on cue, multiple explosions rock the rusty old warehouse. The staccato sound of gunfire and whistling bullets announce the presence of Namjoon and his crew. It didn't take him long to find me.

"I told you assholes he would come for me!" I laugh at them half hysterically before Ivan can gag me. They have no idea how this will end before Sergei takes a step in my direction with his hand raised with the threat of another hard slap.

He drops his hand in defeat, and resignedly, Sergei says, "Well, I guess you're about to discover how scary Namjoon is."

It is dead silent, and the door is kicked in with a loud crash, followed by Namjoon in his black leather duster and his crew behind him. Without hesitation, Namjoon throws a dagger through the throat of the tall skinny goon, Ivan, pinning him to the wall like an insect in a bug collection. A single gunshot from Min Yoongi, the second in command, goes through Dimitri's left eye and into his brain before he can even draw his pistol. Before Dimitri's body hits the dirty concrete floor, Namjoon has the barrel of his Glock 43 jammed menacingly to Sergei's forehead, his finger curled on the trigger. Sergei briefly thinks about the pistol stashed in the waistband of his slacks.

"Don't even think about it," Namjoon snarls. From the icy look in Namjoon's brown eyes, Sergei figures out quickly that he is a dead man walking. He swallows hard and puts his hands up meekly in surrender.

"Where the fuck is my woman?" Namjoon demands tightly.

"Now, Now," Sergei says, looking Namjoon straight in the eye, thinking he can negotiate with Namjoon over my release. But he doesn't know he is one little tiny step away from death, and when it comes to me, Namjoon doesn't negotiate. He would walk through the fires of hell and kick the devil's ass to get me back. I belong to Namjoon - end of the story. Sergei cringes as Namjoon's finger reflexively tightens on the Glock's trigger.

"Fuck!" Sergei mutters.

He is the only one of his crew left alive at this point, and he knows this isn't going to end well for him. Somehow, Sergei hopes he can preserve his life, his mind scrambling to figure out a way out of this situation, but he comes up empty. There is no scenario that Sergei can think of that he will come out of on top, so he points to the shadowy corner where I am tied to a heavy wooden chair.

I can't do anything except rock the heavy wooden chair back and forth because they tied me too tightly. Namjoon can barely see me in the shadowy gloom. Finally, Namjoon gestures to Jungkook, and Jungkook grabs the pistol in Sergei's waistband and tucks it into his own. Then he grabs Sergei by his thinning blonde hair, yanks his head back, and presses a lethal-looking 6-inch military knife against Sergei's throat with a predatory grin. Expressionless, Min Yoongi keeps his semi-automatic pistols trained on Sergei in case he gets any bright ideas about escaping. Sergei sighs, realizing how fucked he is, especially when Namjoon sees what shape I am in.

"Kill him if he so much as twitches," Namjoon says icily.

"With pleasure," says Jungkook wickedly, pressing the hunting knife against Sergei's windpipe hard enough that it breaks the skin and a warm trickle of blood runs down his neck. Sergei is afraid to move lest Jungkook actually slice his throat.

"Move, I dare you," Jungkook taunts him, ruthlessly tightening his grip on Sergei's hair, and whispers in his ear, "You don't know how badly you fucked up, dude."

Namjoon strides across the room, flanked by Jimin and Taehyung, to where I am tied up in the chair. The gloom hides my bruised face from them until Namjoon crouches in front of me and Tae shines a flashlight in my face, the bright light momentarily blinding me.

"Princess?" Namjoon looks at my bruised face and sucks in an angry breath, and his eyes darken with fury.

"What the hell?!" Namjoon says as unties my gag.

He pulls out another dagger and cuts the ropes that bind me to the chair, and I fall into his arms, holding my dislocated left shoulder. I can’t help but sob his name in relief and in pain. He tenderly picks me up and cradles me against his broad chest. I hiss a little in pain from my bruises and dislocated shoulder. Tae and Jimin are both sporting similar looks of outrage when they see my bruised face. Tae motions to Hobi and Jin to indicate they're needed as medics.

"Joonie," I whisper with tears in my eyes, relieved that this is over for the most part, but now I know that because I was taken, the dark side Namjoon is plagued with is taunting him non-stop because of this situation.

"I'm here, Princess. I'm taking you home," he murmurs against my hair, holding me tight against his long, lean body, "but first, let Hobi look at you."

I nod tiredly and lay my head in the crook of his neck as he carries me across the room to where Hobi has laid out a blanket and gingerly sets me down, so Hobi can do a quick assessment. Namjoon cups my cheek lovingly and presses a kiss to my forehead, and the corners of my mouth tip up a little. Then, Dr. Hobi takes over in a business-like manner asking me questions about my injuries while Jin is busy unpacking the first aid supplies needed from his backpack. Hobi's lips tighten as I tell him how my shoulder became dislocated.

Namjoon then pivots back to Sergei, and the raw fury on Namjoon's face doesn't bode well for him. First, a wet stain appears on Sergei's slacks as he pisses himself in fear; BTS Mercenaries have a fearsome reputation for completing the most dangerous and complex assignments. Next, Namjoon motions for Jungkook to pull the knife away from Sergei's throat, and he grabs Sergei by the throat, his long fingers digging in painfully, cutting off his oxygen. Sergei gasps and his arctic blue eyes start to bulge from lack of oxygen, his face taking on a distinct bluish tinge as he struggles against Namjoon's merciless hold. Namjoon clenches his teeth as he hears me groan in pain as Hobi probes my dislocated shoulder, and overcome with anger at the abuse I suffered at Sergei's hands, Namjoon shakes Sergei hard almost snapping his neck.

"Why did you take my Angel?" Namjoon snarls as Sergei grunts in pain. Namjoon draws his fist back to punch him in his paunchy gut; he just wants to beat the shit out of Sergei and appease his dark side. But, with difficulty, Tae and Jimin stay his fist.

"Stop! Jimin and I need to interrogate this asshole before you beat the crap out of him," Tae tells Namjoon, carefully watching his expression. Taehyung and Jimin are Namjoon's interrogation specialists, and as far as Tae and Jimin are concerned, Sergei signed his death warrant with your blood.

Aware of the modus operandi of Namjoon's dark side, Jimin softly chimes in, "Hobi needs to fix Angel's shoulder, and it's gonna hurt. Can you handle it?"

Namjoon grinds his teeth at the thought of what he imagines I went through as their prisoner as he struggles to keep his dark side under control. The monster in his mind is laughing gleefully in his father's voice as it tries to goad Namjoon by telling him what a fuckup he is because he couldn't prevent this. I am not merely Namjoon's love, his muse, and the queen of Namjoon's world, but I help keep his dark side in check by keeping him grounded in my love for him.

These Russian Mafia idiots, however, committed the unpardonable sin of kidnapping and slapping me around, and Namjoon fully intends to make them pay dearly for that mistake. Namjoon loosens his grip on Sergei's throat and drops him into a heap at his feet in disgust as Sergei rolls away and sucks in a deep breath. Then, Namjoon kicks him with his steel-toed combat boots in the gut, and Sergei doubles up in pain. Just a little payback for what Dimitri and Ivan did to you. Seeing you beaten and bruised like this scares Namjoon as much as it enrages him. Keep it under control, Namjoon tells himself.

"Tie him in that chair; I'm not done with him yet," Namjoon tersely orders Jungkook and Min Yoongi. They nod and drag a gasping Sergei by his shirt collar, across the floor to the chair you were tied up on. They throw him on the chair none too gently and tie him up tightly. Min Yoongi forces a dirty piece of cloth in his mouth, and Jungkook slaps some duct tape over that while Sergei gurgles in fear. Finally, they take up positions on either side of Sergei to keep an eye on him. Once again, Jimin lays his hand firmly on Namjoon's shoulder, looks him straight in the eye, and asks, "Can you handle this, or do you need to go outside until it's done?"

"Fuck! I can do this," Namjoon mutters. He’s never let me down, and he isn't about to start now.

His mind drifts back in time to the first time he saw you at Club Avenue 535 in the Gangnam section of Seoul, partying with your friends. He was in the VIP section of the club listening to a new deejay he was interested in, and you caught his eye while dancing and having a good time with your friends. Intrigued, he watched you for awhile and deliberately looked away; telling himself he didn’t need a romantic entanglement, but his eyes kept coming back to you. He watched as some guy kept persistently hitting on you and annoyed, you kept telling him no. Namjoon felt an odd twinge in his gut and “Mine!” echoed through his mind. Finally, the guy gave up and slouched his way to another unattached female.

Namjoon snuck up behind you, put his hands on your waist, and pulled your body against his on the crowded dance floor. You whirled around, startled, thinking that guy harassing you was starting to get aggressive in his intentions. Instead, you find this tall, gorgeous man with full, sensual lips and steel gray hair, dressed in black jeans and a tight white t-shirt offering his hand to you and asking you to dance with him. You couldn't look away once you looked into his warm brown dragon eyes.

Namjoon would never forget the music changing to the soft, sensual strains of Chris Brown's Under the Influence.

"Will you dance with me" Namjoon asks you as he holds out his hand to you.

You nod your assent. Wide-eyed, you stare up at him as his arms snake around your waist, pulling you flush against his hard body. Your arms slide up around his neck, and your bodies sway to the beat of the music. In the background, Chris Brown croons:

You don't know what you did, did to me

Your body lightweight, speaks to me

I don't know what you did, did to me

Your body lightweight, speaks to me

Namjoon's head dips down, and he presses his lips to yours. You were so into each other neither one of you noticed when the song ended and segued into another. What Namjoon can't get out of his head is how right you feel in his arms – like a sense of coming home after a long absence. The two of you are instantly smitten, and you've been together ever since. Namjoon knew he had found the one he was meant to be with. He took you home with him that night, and you made love, talked for hours, and made love again, finally ending the night wrapped in other's arms in his king-size bed. You will always be his Princess.

"Hello?" Tae waves his hand in front of Namjoon's face to bring him back to the present, and Namjoon blinks.

"You sure about this?" Tae asks skeptically, also knowing how Namjoon's dark side works.

"Yeah," Namjoon replies shortly.

Namjoon walks over to where Hobi and Jin are treating my injuries. Hobi is holding me up as Jin just finishes taping my heavily bruised ribs. It hurts Namjoon deeply to see you like this.

"What do you want me to do, Hobi?" Namjoon asks uncertainly.

"Sit behind her and wrap your arms around her, but not too tight, as she has some bruised ribs," Hobi instructs. "This is going to hurt Angel. Are you sure you can handle this and not lose your shit?" But unfortunately, Hobi knows Namjoon and his dark side too well.

"Yes, I can," Namjoon frowns at Hobi annoyed.

Namjoon sits down cross-legged on the blanket. Hobi and Jin slowly sit me up in Namjoon's lap.

"I got you, Princess," Namjoon softly says. I lay against Namjoon's chest, with my teeth clenched and grimacing from the pain while I clutch my injured shoulder. I am really trying not to moan with the pain. He gently wraps his arms around my waist, mindful of my bruised ribs.

Hobi looks at me and asks, "Are you sure you don't want something for the pain?"

"No," I whisper, "Joonie needs me."

Hobi heaves a large sigh. "True, maybe I should give both of you something for pain," he lightly quips as Namjoon gives him a look.

"Just do it and get it over with," I mutter irritably, the pain is getting to me. "It's not going to get better."

"No," he agrees, "it isn't."

Jin places a piece of leather between my teeth as Namjoon lay his cheek on my head and closes his eyes, preparing himself for my pain. Hobi reaches up, one hand grasps my shoulder, and the other holds my arm out.

"Ready?" Hobi asks, watching me intently.

But before I can formulate any kind of answer, Hobi quickly snaps it back into the socket. My body jerks in Namjoon's arms as I scream in pain and blackness takes over my vision.

Namjoon holds you gingerly in his arms as your body sags limply against him. The atmosphere is tense as everyone waits to see if Namjoon will lose his shit and tear Sergei and this old warehouse apart. Namjoon clenches his jaw tightly, his pupils blown wide, and beads of sweat pop on his forehead and trickle slowly down his face. No one dares to move or say a word except for Sergei, who is trying his best to get loose as Namjoon fights this inner battle with his dark side that rides him like a jockey.

You moan a little and start to come around again, unaware of the fierce battle raging in Namjoon. Then, gently, he shifts you around so that you lay in his arms again, your head rests against his chest. His heartbeat thunders in your ear, and you can feel his body trembling.

My eye that isn't swollen shut flutters open, and I blink and gaze up into Namjoon's tense face. I quickly understand that his dark side is taking full advantage of this stressful situation and wants to come out and play. Nope, I can't allow that, so I lightly stroke his cheek to let him know I’m awake. He turns his lips into my palm and kisses it, nestling me against his chest. Finally, everybody can breathe again because Namjoon won this particular battle.

"Princess," Namjoon whispers hoarsely and softly strokes my cheek.

"I'm okay, Joonie," and I look deep into his dark brown eyes, reach up, and softly caress his cheek. At this moment, nothing else exists but the two of us.

Hobi cautiously crouches down to check my shoulder and tells Namjoon, "I need to immobilize her shoulder until we get back to the compound."

Namjoon nods and helps me sit up straight but keeps me close. I don't mind; I want to stay close to him. Then, under Namjoon's watchful eye, Hobi and Jin tapes my arm against my chest.

"Why don't you and I take Angel back to the compound so I can do x-rays and treat her injuries," Hobi suggests, "Put Min Yoongi in charge and let Jimin and Tae do their interrogation and then let the rest of the crew deal with the disposal of the bodies."

Surprisingly, Namjoon agrees, and we prepare to go back to the compound. However, Namjoon is afraid to let you out of his sight now that he has you back. Hobi understands this, so he is prepared to persuade Namjoon to let the rest of the crew deal with Sergei and the corpses of Dimitri and Ivan. While Hobi and Jin get you ready for transport, Namjoon stalks over to where Sergei is tied to the chair and plows his fist into his face with a good right hook, snapping his head back and loosening a few teeth in the bargain before Jungkook or Min Yoongi can stop him. Then, he shakes out the pain in his hand and ignores Sergei's moaning. Then, he turns to Min Yoongie, "You are in charge of the cleanup," he tells Yoongi.

Namjoon explains how he wants this handled to the rest of the crew he trusts implicitly. They nod and get busy before Namjoon leaves to take you home. Much to Sergei's dismay, Tae and Jimin are laying out the tools they use for interrogation, bickering about different techniques they think might work the best. Psyched out, Sergei pales in dread, and his eyes bug out. Meanwhile, Min Yoongi, Jin, and Jungkook are preparing to roll up the corpses of Ivan and Dimitri in plastic for disposal. Namjoon is satisfied that everything is working like a well oiled machine.

#bts wip fest #namjoon #bts fanfic #j-hope #jimin #seokjin suga jungkook v

1 note · View note

bookfreek1964 · 2 years

Text

tbh i think if you had moderate to severe titties nd you wore a low cut shirt around tae he wouldn’t be able to be subtle about looking like you’d be speaking to him nd he’d be speaking to yo chest and you know what since we on the topic

seokjin would be blushing and looking everywhere but you for the sake of being respectful

you wouldn’t even know if yoongi noticed (he did) and even if he did (he did) it wouldn’t invoke any type of reaction (he catalogued the information for later)

hobi aka the person who told yoongi he had a nice crotch would simply point it out he’d be stuck somewhere between platonic and lustful but in awe nonetheless when he tells you “wow you’re breasts look great”

namjoon would stutter once he noticed but recover quickly however he would be in the middle of a sentence a little later on and would stop and tell you he liked your shirt but we know that’s not what he really meant

jimin would see you and that would stick out to him immediately you would see him check you out eyes roaming from head to toe and then he’d smirk say something mildly flirty then switch back to being cute (he’d definitely discuss the phenomenon with taehyung later)

jungkookie would try his very best to be subtle about it but like you wouldn’t be able to help but notice how his eyes flicker down to your cleavage every other minute like clockwork 💀

394 notes · View notes

bookfreek1964 · 2 years

Text

pls… i beg of you… reblog creations… or else there won’t be any more creations

39K notes · View notes

bookfreek1964 · 2 years

Text

A Namjoon One Shot

I stand in the kitchen at the sink, pensively looking out the window while sipping my coffee. Namjoon’s arms slide around my waist, and he nuzzles my neck. I set my coffee down, turn in his arms to face him, and lean into him. He cups my face and kisses me passionately. We’ve been married for twenty years, and I love him just as much now as I did when we first fell in love. Our fifteen-year-old son, Lee, walks into the kitchen and immediately gets grossed out seeing his parents kiss.

“Ewwww! Dad! Mom!”

Namjoon lifts his lips from mine, and I bury my face in his chest to smother a fit of giggles. Namjoon raises his eyebrow and gives Lee the “look,” telling him to choose his words with care.

“Son, you will understand when you have a girl of your own,” Namjoon says as he glances at his watch, “You have exactly twenty minutes until the bus comes; I suggest you make sure your room is clean before you leave.”

“Yes, Dad,” Lee says meekly and leaves the kitchen. We can hear him thunder up the stairs to his room.

“Now,” Namjoon says, “Where were we?”

#kim namjoon #bts rm #joonie #bts #bts fanfic #bts imagines

5 notes · View notes

bookfreek1964 · 2 years

Text

Reblog this if you like seeing me on your dash

81K notes · View notes

bookfreek1964 · 2 years

Text

Choi San: Of Love and Loss Part 1

Choi San is called to a mandatory meeting with KQ Entertainment and the management team. But, he doesn’t know why they want him at this meeting. Honestly, he doesn’t feel good about this meeting; something is up so he asks if he can bring Park Seonghwa with him. Seonghwa is the group’s “mother hen” and the go-to for emotional support. San’s request to bring Seonghwa with him is granted and San is glad he can bring him along.

When San and Seonghwa reach the meeting room, his management team and some grim-faced attorneys are inside. They are asked to be seated at the long conference table.

"What is going on," San asks, looking from one face to another.

With a sour face, the KQ's corporate attorney, Mr. Kim, introduces Mr. Bruce Campbell, attorney for the recently deceased Linnet Morgan. San swallows hard and flinches when Linnet's name is mentioned. The term "recently deceased" shocks him, although he tries not to show it. Finally, the corporate attorney, Mr. Kim, says San does not have to hear what he has to say.

"I have a letter addressed to you from my late client, Linnet Morgan," Mr. Campbell says. Mr. Campbell picks up his briefcase and lays it on the table in front of him. He opens his attache case and hands San the letter, saying, "I was instructed to give you this in person, “ obliquely hinting that KQ can't be trusted.

Mr. Kim again tries to interrupt, but San waves him off. It's evident by this time that Mr. Kim doesn't want San to talk to Mr. Campbell – but why? There is a mystery why Linnet vanished without a word, and San wants to know why as his management team and the corporate has not been very forthcoming about it. However, he feels that the truth is going to come out. Slowly, San tears open the sealed envelope and pauses before unfolding the letter. Seonghwa lays a hand on his shoulder, sensing this will be painful for San.

Seonghwa doesn't know the whole story, but he knows enough as he was with San the first time he met Linnet. Mr. Kim dragooned Linnet into escorting them to an awards ceremony while he dallied with his mistress. San looks up at Seonghwa, and Seonghwa can see the uncertainty and pain in his eyes. Seonghwa nods at San encouraging him to read the letter. San takes a deep breath and begins to read:

“Dearest San,

By the time you receive this letter, I will have departed this life. But, before I die, you deserve to know the truth about what happened. I did not leave Korea willingly; our relationship was discovered and turned into management. Once our relationship was discovered, I was fired; sent back to the United States in disgrace. Mr. Kim also told me that if I attempted to contact you or any of the others in the group, I would face prosecution in Seoul for harassment and stalking, and he promised he would make it stick. Two weeks after returning home, I found out I was pregnant with your child. You need to know that you have a beautiful little girl, Lillian Rose Choi, born April 25, 2020. Lillian was born nine months after I left Korea. She weighed 6 lbs. and 14 oz, and she looks like you, my dearest San.”

San drops the letter on the floor in shock and begins hyperventilating. San didn't know what to expect, but it certainly wasn't this. Seonghwa pushes San's head down between his knees and murmurs quietly to San to take deep breaths. Then, Mr. Kim begins to berate Mr. Campbell for upsetting San. Unmoved, Mr. Campbell stares frostily back because he knows the truth and knows KQ would have thrown the letter away without San being the wiser. This was the only way San would see the truth.

Seonghwa presses a tissue in San's hand after he quiets down. San wipes his eyes and blows his nose. San picks up the letter from the floor and continues reading.

“A year ago, I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. I had a mastectomy and began chemotherapy. Unfortunately, cancer spread to other parts of my body, and I was told I had little time left. I tried to contact your management team to inform you about Lillian. I was rebuffed and told you wanted nothing to do with your daughter, and she could not be yours. I knew that could not be true, so I hired Mr. Bruce Campbell to represent me and get through to you legally. Lillian is your flesh and blood, and it is my dying wish for her to be with you, her father.”

Tears run down San's face; he looks up at Mr. Campbell.

"When may I see my daughter," he asks quietly.

No way Mr. Kim wants this to happen, so he loudly and rudely disputes any paternal testing and how that couldn't possibly be San's child; for all he knew, she could have slept with many men and is trying to extort money from KQ and San.

"Shut the fuck up," San shouts, finally losing his shit and jumping out of his chair, "Just shut the fuck up!"

Mr. Kim shuts his mouth and gives San a dirty look that promises retribution. San leans over the table and angrily asks, "How could you keep something like this from me?"

San is livid, and he stares down Mr. Kim. Mr. Kim drops his eyes. Everyone stares at San in shock. Never have they seen San this coldly angry. Of course, Seonghwa has seen him angry before, but this is an extraordinary circumstance.

Mr. Campbell ignores Mr. Kim's bluster, takes two photographs from his briefcase, and slides them across the table to San. One is San's baby picture, and the other is a photo of an adorable baby girl. There is no denying the paternity of this child as the baby pictures look alike. Lillian looks just like San with Linnet's hazel eyes and slight, subtle differences here and there. San drops back into his chair and picks up both photographs, his eyes glassy with tears. Never in his wildest imagination did he expect something of this magnitude; they had tried to be so careful, but one time in the heat of passion, contraception never entered their mind until it was too late. Mr. Campbell watches San's reaction intently and nods his head in approval because Linnet was right about San – he had no idea that KQ Entertainment had fired Linnet and sent her away.

"She looks just like you, San," Seonghwa says, looking over San's shoulder at the photographs.

"There's more," Mr. Campbell tells San. Mr. Campbell reaches into his briefcase again and pulls out a small stack of books and two larger ones. He slides them across the table to San. Mr. Kim is whispering to Ateez's management team, undoubtedly trying to salvage the situation, knowing they will not be seen in a good light and fear a potential lawsuit that would be justified. San picks up the top book and flips the cover open. These are Linnet's private journals, no doubt San will find the answers in these journals. San lays them aside for later reading when he is alone. Then, he pulls the more significant book from the bottom of the stack and flips the cover open. It is a scrapbook, lovingly put together, chronicling Linnet's pregnancy and Lillian's birth. As he flips through the pages, he sees ultrasound pictures of Lillian's development in Linnet's womb and Linnet displaying her growing baby bump. San's heart is aching, and tears are rolling down his face as he realizes how much he missed. He would have gladly been at Linnet's side during her pregnancy, and she would not have been alone through birth, cancer, or even death. Pain and raw fury sweep through San; he feels like this is the ultimate betrayal.

Mr. Campbell pulls a black DVD case out of his briefcase. He slides it across the table to San.

"Linnet wanted the birth to be recorded for you," says Mr. Campbell.

San begins to sob anew, his heart broken. His Linnet had such a loving heart to ensure San was included in everything. Oh, KQ corporate and his management team will pay for this, San thinks. Seonghwa's arm goes around his shoulders, silently giving him comfort. He is glad he insisted Seonghwa be present for emotional support and as a witness.

Finally, San is calm enough to hear what Mr. Campbell has for him after a few minutes. San wipes his eyes and hiccups a bit. Mr. Campbell slides a small manila envelope across the table to him. San stares at it before slowly picking it up and opening it. Inside the manila envelope are three small black velvet pouches. San opens the first pouch; it's the silver promise ring San gave Linnet. Memories slam into San as he remembers when he asked her to marry him, and she said yes; then he slid it on her finger and kissed her. She smiled lovingly at San as he asked her to wait for him, knowing Ateez wouldn't last forever. San doubles over in pain; this is almost more than his heart can take. Seonghwa gently rubs his back, tears running down his face too. San will put the ring on a chain around his neck, and when the time comes, he will pass it down to Lillian, but he slides it on his pinkie finger for right now.

The second velvet pouch reveals a necklace with a silver heart. San looks at Mr. Campbell with a question in his tear-reddened eyes.

"Linnet requested that some of her ashes be made into memorial necklaces for you and Lillian," Mr. Campbell says gently. San nods. That way, part of her will always be with San and their daughter. He slips the chain around his neck and tucks the heart under his shirt.

San asks again, "When may I see my daughter?"

Mr. Kim objects loudly; he doesn't want San to see or get attached to this baby because they won't allow him to keep it, as if they had a say in this matter. Mr. Campbell ignores Mr. Kim's tantrum and gestures to his assistant, who gets up, leaves the room, and returns in a few minutes with a little girl about two to three years old, dressed in a little purple dress, in her arms. The little girl looks frightened and has her thumb firmly in her mouth. The assistant sits in the chair next to San and sits the child on her lap, facing San.

"Lillian, this your Papa," she says. Lillian eyes San suspiciously, not sure she wants anything to do with him. San sniffles and smiles at her through the tears that cloud his eyes. She is so beautiful! He marvels that he and Linnet created this beautiful child. Seonghwa is amazed at the two faces that so resemble each other.

"Hello, beautiful," San quietly says. He makes no attempt to touch Lillian yet. Instead, he lets Lillian take the time to study him, so she knows he is not a threat. Eventually, Lillian decides San is okay and holds her chubby little arms out with a giggle. He carefully takes her from the assistant and sets her in his lap. Then, Lillian stares at San solemnly with Linnet's hazel eyes. Tears are pouring down San's cheeks; Lillian reaches up and pats San's cheek. That hits San hard in the heart, and he tries hard to stifle the sobs welling up in his chest as he doesn't want to scare her. Finally, he gently pulls Lillian against his chest, burying his tear-stained face in her soft baby hair.

"Da-da?" she says. San cries harder, rocking and hugging her tighter until she starts to squirm in protest. Seonghwa implores San to stop crying; he doesn't want the little girl to freak out because by now, San is a total mess – his face blotchy and eyes red and swollen from crying. San is enchanted by his little daughter but still can't accept the news of Linnet's death.

Seeing this, Mr. Campbell gently suggests meeting again tomorrow to deal with the rest of Linnet's bequests, against Mr. Kim's wishes, of course, to give San the necessary time to deal with Linnet's death and accept his new role as a father. He can see that San is nearly at the end of his rope – too many shocks to the system at one time. San doesn't want to part with his daughter yet, but Seonghwa sees this wisdom and persuades San to let her go for tonight. San holds her tight against his chest, laying his cheek on her head, and then reluctantly gives Lillian back to the assistant after kissing and telling her, "Daddy loves you."

"Da-da," Lillian says, starting to fuss and holding her chubby arms out to San as the assistant whisks her out.

They agree to meet again at 9:00 am tomorrow morning in this same room. As Mr. Campbell leaves, he lays a compassionate hand on San's shoulder, conveying his sympathy about his loss. San nods as tears stream down his cheeks, as Mr. Campbell shakes Seonghwa's hand before leaving the room. As soon as Mr. Campbell leaves the room and the door closes, Mr. Kim starts berating San for causing this mess, but Seonghwa is pissed off and has had enough of Mr. Kim's bullshit.

"Don't you think San has had to endure enough for today, thanks to your meddling," Seonghwa snaps, glaring daggers at the attorney. Mr. Kim ignores Seonghwa and continues ranting as Seonghwa gets San up on his feet, but San is dazed and grieving. Seonghwa packs up San's books and things Mr. Campbell brought, puts his arm around San's waist, and guides him out with San leaning heavily against him. With difficulty, Seonghwa gets San back to the dorm and up to his dorm room and puts him to bed. Seonghwa pulls a chair next to the bed, preparing to sit with him. San smiles weakly at Seonghwa, closes his eyes, and drifts off, but a tear tracks down his cheek; he has had enough pain for today and takes refuge in sleep.

"Everything will be okay, San," Seonghwa says, smoothing San's hair back from his face and gently wiping away San's tears. San doesn't respond. Seonghwa waits until San's breathing deepens and makes sure he is solidly out before leaving the room and finding Hongjoon. Seonghwa might be considered the "Mom" of the group, but Hongjoon is the "Dad" of the group. He finds Hongjoon in their dorm room playing a video game.

"Can I talk to you a minute?"

Hongjoon turns off the game and asks, "What's on your mind, Seonghwa?"

Seonghwa explains to Hongjoon about the corporate and management team meeting. About San, Linnet, and San's surprise daughter Lillian. How he brought San home, put him to bed, and the state of San's emotions. Seonghwa also tells Hongjoon that he plans to stay with San all night in the event he needs something. Hongjoon nods, "That sounds like a good idea."

Finally, Seonghwa sends Yunho, San's roommate, a text asking if it would be okay if they could trade beds for the night. Yunho returned a text giving his assent, but with a question mark to ask what was going on.

Hongjoon is genuinely shocked at the callousness displayed by Mr. Kim and the management team. Hongjoon decides right then and there to gather the rest of the group up and explain what is going on, with San's permission, and make some plans to back San up. Neither said out loud but were thinking, how would they treat the rest of them if they could be this cold and callous to San? Seonghwa agrees, and Hongjoon calls for a group meeting while Seonghwa checks on San. Seonghwa peeks in the door of San's room. San is sleeping, but it is a restless sleep with more than likely dreams of Linnet. Seonghwa idly wonders if Mr. Kim and the management team will force San into giving up his daughter. He hopes not; that just might push San over the edge. Seonghwa goes down to the dorm room he shares with Hongjoon, grabs his pillow, pajamas, and toothbrush, and returns to San's room. Yunho tiptoes a short while after the meeting and gets his pillow and pajamas, giving Seonghwa a brief smile, but his eyes are sorrowful when he glances at the sleeping San.

2:00 am, San sits bolt upright in his bed, gasping, "Linnet!"

Again, the pain of losing Linnet is tearing him apart, and he starts sobbing heart-wrenchingly. Seonghwa is there instantly, letting San cry on his shoulder as he murmurs comfortingly, rubbing San's back until his sobbing abates. Seonghwa snags the box of tissues from the nightstand, pulls some out and gives them to San. San mops up his tears, still hiccupping. Seonghwa gets him a glass of water and some Tylenol. San's eyes are still wild with pain, but he's slowly coming around.

"San, I know you're hurting right now, and you will for a while, but you need to give some thought to your little one," Seonghwa says quietly.

San nods his head blankly, although it is debatable whether he understood being steeped in his pain over losing Linnet and what could have been.

"Do you think you can go back to sleep?"

San nods, lying on his pillow and closing his eye as Seonghwa turns off the bedside lamp and sits in the chair next to the bed. San's mind is churning thinking about Linnet having to endure all of this alone, probably thinking San was a fuckboy and had moved on to the next girl. However, he eventually came around to thinking about seeking revenge. San wasn't even given the courtesy of choosing whether to give up his career with Ateez and pursue a life with Linnet and the baby. KQ had taken the liberty to make a choice for him and then lie and hide it from him. This is something that San cannot easily forgive. He wasn't even given a chance to defend Linnet from KQ. Maybe he should talk to Mr. Campbell about his options now that his trust with KQ Entertainment has been irrevocably broken.

San decides he is going to keep Lillian with him. He would be lying if he said he isn't a little afraid of being a father to this tiny human because it is a daunting prospect, especially since Linnet is gone and they can't work together to raise Lillian. He doesn't know the first thing about caring for a child, but that doesn't mean he can't learn. San hears Seonghwa get up and move to his bed. Eventually, San drifts into a heavy slumber, uninterrupted until the alarm goes off at 6:00 am.

San, awakened by the alarm at 6:00 am, groans and rolls over to slam his hand on the snooze button. His eyes feel dry, gritty, and swollen from his tears in the last 24 hours. He stares at the ceiling unseeingly, replaying in his mind the precious moments of his and Linnet's courtship. Once again, the tears flow, and he feels hollow and numb.

Linnet disappeared so abruptly that he should have suspected KQ's and Mr. Kim's complicity in it. They must have been careless, and someone had obviously seen them together and reported the violation in the no dating clause of his contract. San feels a little guilty that he didn't push corporate harder about her disappearance, but he was warned to leave it alone or face the consequences. San held tightly onto the hope that they would find each other again, but now her death shattered that hope. He did have one thing, his little daughter Lillian – she was the result of his and Linnet's love. A father! I'm a father! I have a daughter! San thinks. He smiles grimly through his tears because he will fight like hell to keep her. San is pretty sure KQ will be against him keeping Lillian.

There is a soft tap on the door, and it opens to reveal Seonghwa, who had risen a little earlier. Seonghwa wanted to check on San and make sure he was okay. So he comes in and sits on the edge of the bed next to San.

"Did you sleep well," Seonghwa asks.

San sighs and says, "Not really. I have too many things to think about."

San pulls himself up into a sitting position, and Seonghwa adjusts the pillows behind San's back. San wipes away his tears and sniffles. San's eyes are red-rimmed and puffy, with dark circles under them, but they aren't dazed or wild with pain anymore, his face pale. Instead, Seonghwa sees that San has accepted what is and not what could have been, painful as it is. Seonghwa pulls San in for a hug, and San lays his head on Seonghwa's shoulder and sniffles a bit more while Seonghwa rubs his back comfortingly. San wants to pour his heart out to Seonghwa, but they are interrupted. There is another discreet tap on the door, and Hongjoon pokes his head around the door.

"May I come in," he asks.

"Yeah," San says.

"Are you doing okay, San?"

"No," San says quietly, "eventually maybe."

"Have you decided on what you are going to do?"

"The first thing, I think, is to talk to Mr.Campbell," San replied, "But I don't know where he is staying. It would be best to see him away from corporate and Mr. Kim."

"Hold that thought," Seonghwa says as he jumps up and dashes out of the room. He returns within a few minutes bearing a business card with Mr. Campbells's phone number and the hotel's name and room number.

"He slipped this into my hand yesterday while leaving," Seonghwa says, "He knew Mr. Kim would be watching you closely."

San looks at the card and sees the hotel is not far from the compound. He is resolved to go meet with Mr. Campbell. He has many questions that need to be answered. The door opens, and Yunho pokes his head around the door. "May I come in?"

"Yes!"

Yunho walks to San and gives him a hug. Not long after, the rest of the group files in to provide San with a hug. San is usually not a super emotional guy, but he tears up a bit at the support from the rest of the group. Next, they fill San in on some decisions they have made to back him up. Hongjoon has talked to Lee Know and Chang Bin from Stray Kids, and Mingi has contacted his buddies Ravn and Leedo from Oneus to pull in support. Next, they want to talk to the rap line from BTS and maybe some of the girls from Black Pink. Oh, and maybe EXO and Enhyphen too. Again, San is emotionally overwhelmed by the love and support he is getting from his group members.

Jongho says with a smirk, "I always wanted to be an uncle!"

Lillian is getting seven new "uncles." The group discusses how they can make this work for San and Lillian, but San cautions that they don't know what KQ and Mr. Kim will do if anything.

#ateez fanfic #Choi San #Park Seonghwa ateez

3 notes · View notes

bookfreek1964 · 2 years

Text

Night Approaches

Indigo blue, gold and rose

Splattered across the sky,

Sun dives toward the mountains,

Shadows lengthen

Creeping across the land,

Creatures of the night appear

Coyote loping across the pasture,

Owls swooping down on unsuspecting prey,

Sun completes its arc,

Darkness prevails,

Stars twinkle coldly in the velvet sky

The night is silent and still.

#poetry #original poem #Nebraska Writes Guild #How it Looks from Here Poetry from the Plains

3 notes · View notes

bookfreek1964 · 2 years

Text

Dreams

Only in my dreams,

Do you belong to me,

My lips softly touch your skin,

You whisper, yes, yes, yes.

#poetry #poems #original poem

4 notes · View notes

bookfreek1964 · 2 years

Text

#samurai armor

0 notes

bookfreek1964 · 2 years

Text

#bts fanfic #angels

1 note · View note

bookfreek1964 · 2 years

Text

Stay Alive

Bookfreek1964

Part I

Jung Kook lays his head down on his hands that tightly clasp Suga's limp hand. The sobs well up from the deepest part of his being and wrack his entire body. He cries for Suga, who lies silently in the hospital bed with wires attached to his chest and oxygen in his nose. The monitors beep gently, keeping track of Suga's breathing and heart rate. If Jung Kook had not smelled the smoke and raced up to Suga's room and pulled Suga's limp body out of the burning chamber, he couldn't go there and think about that, or he would lose it completely.

They had quarreled just before. So Jung Kook tried to confront Suga about his excessive drinking. But unfortunately, Suga didn't want to talk; he was pretty, pissy drunk, and spoiling for a fight. So instead, Jung Kook expresses concern at the number of times Suga comes reeling in drunk off his ass. Suga lashes out and tells him to fuck off; it isn't any of his business.

"What's going on with you, Yoongi?" asks Jung Kook angrily, using Suga's real name.

"Nothing," Suga slurs back.

"Something is going on, or you wouldn't be like this, Yoongi," Jung Kook ducks an erratically thrown punch that just barely missed.

"Like what, hmm, like what?" Suga gets up in Jung Kook's face, close enough to kiss him if he wants to, and honestly, he wants to. He dreams at night of what it would be like to taste Jung Kook's lips.

"Coming in every night wasted. I'm your best friend, Yoongi, don't shut me out," frustrated, Jung Kook grabs Suga by the shoulders and raises his voice. Suga shoves him away.

"Is that all I am to you, Kookie?" Suga stills and looks up at Jung Kook; his dark eyes reflect the pain in his heart. "Is this all I am to you?"

"What are you asking, Yoongi," asks Jung Kook with a strange expression.

Suga closes his eyes in despair. So now I've gone and done it, Suga thinks to himself. "Nothing Kookie, nothing at all." Dejectedly, Suga tries to turn away.

Jung Kook grabs Suga's arm. "No, you can't say something like that and walk away from me without explaining what you mean."

Glaring at Jung Kook, Suga yanks his arm free from Jung Kook's grasp, stumbles over his feet, and almost goes down, but Jung Kook catches him and wraps his arms around Suga. Cursing, Suga tries to shove him away, but Jung Kook holds on tight and tries, once again, to talk to him.

"Talk to me, Yoongi!"

"Leave me the fuck alone!"

The struggle lasts for several minutes and ends with Suga slamming Jung Kook hard against the wall. Jung Kook drops his arms and lets him go. There is no reasoning with him right now; instead, he sadly watches Suga stumble up the stairs, bouncing off the wall as he goes. Jung Kook slides down the wall to the floor, tears streaming down his face and heart breaking. He helplessly wonders where it all went wrong. He wants to tell Suga how he feels about him, but he's afraid it might make things worse. It's hard keeping these feelings buried and pretending you don't feel something when you do.

Suga barely makes it up the stairs before he feels that telltale, feeling like he needs to vomit. In his haste, he catches the toe of his sneakers on the top step and falls on the hallway floor. He crawls into the bathroom on his hands and knees, making it to the toilet in the nick of time. Jung Kook hears the loud thump of Suga's body hitting the floor, and he bolts up the stairs. He runs into the bathroom as Suga begins retching and gagging. Finally, Suga empties his stomach into the toilet and moans in misery.

Jung Kook kneels and grabs Suga by the shoulders, "Are you okay? I heard you fall."

"Go away, Kookie. I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much," says Suga in a broken whisper as he wavers back and forth, staring at Jung Kook blankly. Then, finally, he reaches up and cups Jung Kook's cheek in his hand. "I can't; I can't do this anymore." His eyes are full of tears as he stares at Jung Kook regretfully. I love you is right at the tip of his tongue; all he has to do is spit it out, but he can't.

"What, Yoongi? I don't understand. You have to tell me what's going on, so I can help you."

The room is whirling around so fast. Suga isn't sure where he is. "You don't understand, Kookie. You can't help me; no one can help me," Suga whispers. Suga falls forward into Jung Kook's arms and loses his grip on consciousness.

"Suga! Yoongi! Wake up! You're scaring me! Suga!" Jung Kook begins to panic. Suga mutters something indecipherable. Holding Suga in his arms, Jung Kook grabs a washcloth, wets it with cool water, and softly wipes Suga's face to wake him up. Jung Kook can't wake Suga up, so he gently lays him down on his side on the bathmat. Then, Jung Kook begins rifling his pockets to find his cell phone and comes up empty. I must have lost it downstairs during the struggle. Jung Kook runs down the stairs and begins searching for his cell phone. He finds it halfway under the piano. Luckily, the screen is still intact after the fall. Jung Kook next dials Suga's sister Kaia's number. No answer, Frantically, he dials it again and again until Kaia answers.

"Kookie?"

"Kaia! Can you come over? There's something wrong with Yoongi."

Kaia says, "I'll be there in 10."

"Please hurry, Kaia!"

Meanwhile, Suga returns to consciousness, unsure why he is lying on the bathroom floor, but he manages to crawl on his hands and knees across the hall to his bedroom. He almost passes out again. Finally, after a couple of tries, he sits on the edge of the bed, dropping his head into his hands before the tears begin to fall. His heart hurts so bad; why can't he tell Jung Kook how much he means to him? Suga is ashamed that Jung Kook sees him drunk like this almost every night. He knows that Jung Kook is worried about him and Suga treats him like an asshole. Suga, at this moment, feels like the world's biggest asshole. He wants to tell Jung Kook what is in his heart, but how? What will he do if Jung Kook rejects those feelings? He has loved Jung Kook for so long.

Fear of rejection makes him bottle up everything inside with no release from these feelings, so he deals with it by drinking himself stupid every night and silently loving Jung Kook from afar. Still, it is getting harder and harder to spend day after day with him and not tell him how much he loves him. He suspects his sister, Kaia, knows his secret. She has caught him staring longingly at Jung Kook more than once and has gone so far as to gesture that he needs to tell Jung Kook how he feels about him. Suga usually shakes his head negatively, and Kaia gives him an exasperated look like she would like to smack some sense into him.

Blearily, Suga rummages around on his nightstand for his pack of cigarettes and lighter, knocking almost everything off. Finally, he lights one up, lays back on his bed, and watches the ceiling spin in lazy circles. He takes another drag from the cigarette. His other hand gently caresses the empty pillow next to him, imagining Jung Kook lying beside him. Suga is so tired and heartsick; that he wants to sleep. His eyes slowly drift closed. The lit cigarette drops from his fingers onto the floor as Suga drifts away into happier dreams with Jung Kook beside him. Suga rolls to his side and gently cups Jungkook's cheek in his dream giving him butterfly kisses. He lets his fingers glide down Jung Kook's throat and flattens his hand to slide down Jung Kook's flat stomach. One finger traces Jung Kook's six-pack abs to the waistband of his jeans while Suga drinks deeply from Jung Kook's lips. The cigarette smokes on the rug and bursts into a small flame.

Jung Kook feverishly paces the hall, silently urging Kaia to hurry. Then, finally, he stops and sniffs – smoke! Fuck! Suga is up there! I should have never left him alone! He runs up the steps, and smoke clogs up the air. First, he checks the bathroom where he left him, but no Suga. Then, he throws open the door to Suga's bedroom. There are flames everywhere. Jung Kook spots Suga lying in the middle of his bed with fire racing across the ceiling above him.

"Suga! Yoongi! Oh my God! Jung Kook does his best to skirt the flames and tugs Suga off the bed before getting burned. Then, tears streaming down his face, he pulls Suga out into the hall and tries to pull the door shut to keep the fire confined to one room, but too late; it's already spreading out of the room. Coughing violently from the thick smoke, Jung Kook tugs Suga's limp body down the stairs as gently as possible when trying to outrace the fire. Unfortunately, the smoke is so thick it's hard to find the way to the front door. Jung Kook falls to his knees and almost loses consciousness himself. Kaia and firefighters appear out of the swirling smoke to help Jung Kook pull Suga out of the now fully engulfed house. Kaia, coughing herself, puts her arm around the coughing Jung Kook, and the firefighters pull the unconscious Suga out into the yard so the paramedics can attend to him.

"Suga!" Jung Kook crawls over to Suga and pulls him into his arms, rocking back and forth on his knees, sobbing wildly. "Yoongi-Hyung!" Suga lies limply in his arms.

Kaia kneels next to Jung Kook, coughing and doing her best to calm him down, motioning the paramedics back as she murmurs soothingly to Jung Kook. But locked into his grief, Jung Kook can only focus on the unconscious man in his arms.

"He's still breathing, Kookie," using their pet name for Jung Kook, "but you have to let them treat him."

"I want to stay with him," Jung Kook says, pulling Suga tightly against his chest.

"You can stay with him, Kookie, but calm down. You're not helping him this way."

Jung Kook takes several deep breaths to fight back his panic and starts coughing and gagging from the smoke. Finally, the paramedics can take Suga from Jung Kook and begin working on Suga and Jung Kook, giving both some oxygen to treat the smoke inhalation.

Part II

Soon enough, the police begin to pepper Jung Kook with questions about how the fire started. He can only shake his head blankly and tell them he doesn't know how it started. After that, he can only focus on Suga as the paramedics get him ready for transport. He fights his way over to the gurney as they put Suga in the ambulance. Kaia grabs his arm and pulls him back.

"We will follow the ambulance to the hospital."

Jung Kook is in freak-out mode as the ambulance pulls away.

"Kookie, my car is over here. Get in, and we will follow them."

Jung Kook is lost. Kaia has to put him in the car and buckle him in like a child. Jung Kook doesn't resist; at this point, he is in a cloud of guilt and anguish. I should have never left him alone, he keeps telling himself.

As she is driving, Kaia questions Jung Kook about what happened. When they reach the hospital, Jung Kook has told Kaia about Suga coming home drunk every night and their quarrel before the fire.

"Kaia, he said he couldn't do this anymore. I don't know what he meant by that; he wouldn't say," Jung Kook says bewilderedly.

Kaia gave him a long look. "Don't you know Kookie?"

"If I knew that, I wouldn't be asking you," rasps Jung Kook.

"You don't know Kookie about Yoongi's feelings for you?"

"Know what feelings, Kaia?" He fires back.

"He loves you, Kookie."

"He's my best friend…."

"No, Kookie, he is in love with you and has been for a long time. But, unfortunately, he doesn't know how to tell you, and he is afraid that you will not accept his love," Kaia gently says.

"What!?" Jung Kook's head snaps back as if someone punched him. Never once in a million years had Jung Kook ever considered that Suga might have feelings for him. Jung Kook himself keeps his feelings for Suga buried deep in the recesses of his heart for the same reasons.

"You feel the same about him," Kaia continues glancing over at him, "I have watched the both of you watching each other when you think no one is looking."

If the situation wasn't so serious, Kaia might have laughed at the shocked expression on Jung Kook's face. But instead, Kaia sighs inwardly, thinking that Suga and Jung Kook are utterly ridiculous. It is painfully apparent to everyone around them that they have deep feelings for each other beyond friendship or brotherhood, but they don't know how to tell each other how they feel. So instead, this near tragedy is the result.

Arriving at the hospital, Jung Kook is prepared to bolt inside to find Suga. However, Kaia grabs his arm before he can.

"Listen to me, Kookie, you need to find the restroom and wash your face and hands. You look terrible," wiping at some soot on his cheek, "You need to be calm and don't freak out, okay?"

Jung Kook nods absently; all he wants is to find Suga.

Part III

Kaia and Jung Kook wait for the doctor to give their report. Jung Kook can't sit and paces the room like a caged lion. Kaia watches Jung Kook with a worried frown as he restlessly walks, deep in thought. If they didn't hear something soon, she was afraid he would take matters into his own hands and find Suga himself. Finally, the ER doctor gives them a report and introduces himself as Dr. Jin. He gives them a brief description of Suga's condition and his treatment for smoke inhalation.

"Mr. Min is sleeping right now," the doctor says, "He woke up briefly, but Mr. Min was very distraught. We were able to calm him down, but he was concerned about Jung Kook" Dr. Jin looked curiously at Jung Kook, and he could feel his cheeks redden. His eyes are red from the smoke and puffy from his shed tears.

Kaia asks, "When may we go see him?"

"They are moving him upstairs right now, so it will be a little bit. We plan on keeping Mr. Min overnight for observation," Dr. Jin says. "He has a lot of alcohol in his system, so we need to watch him. The nurse will come and get you shortly."

Kaia thanks Dr. Jin, and Dr. Jin nods briefly and leaves the lounge. Kaia turns to Jung Kook, "Are you okay, Kookie?"

Jung Kook feels tears welling up in his eyes again and swallows hard, "Yeah, I guess."

Kaia hugs him. "Everything will be okay, Kookie, but you need to tell Yoongi how you feel; you both need to come clean about your feelings for each other. Everyone can see how you feel about each other, so it's no secret."

Jung Kook rests his head against Kaia's shoulder and lets the tears flow. He came close to losing his Yoongi, but now knowing that Suga reciprocates his feelings changes everything. So he whispers, "I will, Kaia, damn straight I will."

Finally, after about 20 minutes, they can see Suga, but he is fast asleep hooked to a heart monitor and oxygen. Jung Kook pulls the chair up next to the bed and takes Suga's limp hand in his own. Kaia murmurs to Suga, but he does not respond. She steps out of the room to talk with the nurse for a few minutes. Jung Kook, meanwhile, holds Suga's hand like it is a lifeline. Aloud he says, "I'm not leaving you, Yoongi, I'm right here beside you, and I will always be." He felt Suga's fingers twitch in response. Jung Kook smiles tiredly, puts his head down on their clasped hands, and exhaustion causes him to doze off.

Kaia comes back into the room and sees Jung Kook fast asleep, holding Suga's hand. She shakes her head and wonders if she should try to wake Jung Kook up and persuade him to go to her apartment to rest and clean up a little or let him be. Kaia suspects, however, that he will refuse to leave Suga's side, and it would be useless to argue with him about that, so she leaves him be. Kaia sits down in the other chair to wait a while and see if Suga will wake up soon. As the shadows deepen in the room, Kaia nods off to sleep. The nurse comes in every couple of hours to check Suga's vital signs so the night passes.

Part IV

The pink and orange light begins to lighten the room. Kaia shakes herself awake and yawns and stretches because spending the night in a chair is not very comfortable. She glances over at Suga to see if he is awake yet. Suga has rolled on his side toward Jung Kook. He has curled his body protectively around their clasped hands with his other hand resting on Jung Kook's head.

Kaia shakes her head and leans over to whisper in Suga's ear, "Yoongi, you need to tell Jung Kook how you feel. Do it, okay? I will go find some tea; I will be back in a little while."

Suga mumbles something indecipherable.

Jung Kook wakes up sobbing like his heart breaks a little while later. Jung Kook catches his breath. He feels someone stroking his head. He raises his head, and his tear-soaked eyes meet Suga's solemn dark brown eyes. They stare at each other for a long moment.

"Yoongi," Jung Kook whispers.

Suga smiles tremulously and strokes Jung Kook's cheek. He wipes away Jung Kook's tears with his thumb.

"How are you feeling?"

"I feel better, except for a headache," Suga whispered back.

"Yoongi, you almost died; I almost lost you," Jung Kook whispers.

Suga's eyes teared up at the agony in Jung Kook's voice. "Kookie…."

Jung Kook sighs, cups Suga's cheek, and looks right into Suga's eyes, "Yoongi, I have a confession to make…."

"What?"

"I don't know how to tell you this, but," Jung Kook takes a deep breath and huffs it out, "I have feelings for you. I have for a long time, but I didn't know how to tell you. I was afraid you would .…" Jung Kook said, looking down at their clasped hands.

"Kookie," Suga interrupted and tipped Jung Kook's head up so he could look into his eyes. "Kookie, I love you too. I didn't know how to tell you either. I spent all of this time fighting these feelings and burying them because I didn't think you could love me," Suga said with a tinge of sadness. "Instead of telling you how I felt, I tried to bury it with drinking and being an idiot."

Suga brushed his thumb over Jung Kook's lower lip.

Jung Kook lunges forward to press his lips against Suga's, and they share a long, sweet kiss.

"I meant it when I said I would be beside you always, Yoongi," said Jung Kook against Suga's lips.

"I know, Kookie. I'm not letting you go either."

Forehead to forehead, they smile at each other. Unbeknownst to Suga and Jung Kook, Kaia watches through the small window. She sighs in relief; they seem to have accepted and come to terms with their feelings for each other. Now we can move on.

#BTS #bts fanfic #bts suga #bts jungkook #boylove

1 note · View note